48: Addressing Your Juiciest Drama w/ Miles Bonsignore

Summary

Podcast Summary: Happy Wife Happy Life – Episode 48: Addressing Your Juiciest Drama w/ Miles Bonsignore

Release Date: January 20, 2025
Hosts: Kendahl Landreth and Jordan Myrick
Guest: Miles Bonsignore

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Introduction and Guest Appearance

In Episode 48 of "Happy Wife Happy Life," hosts Kendahl Landreth and Jordan Myrick continue their comedic exploration of relationship dynamics with a special guest, Miles Bonsignore. Known for his work with Try Guys and the Perfect Person podcast, Miles brings additional expertise to the discussion, aiming to help listeners navigate their most challenging relationship scenarios.

Notable Quote:
Jordan Myrick (00:09): “We brought in an additional professional advice giver, Miles Bonsignore.”

Timestamp: 00:00 – 07:08

Podcast Dynamics and Humor

The episode kicks off with a light-hearted conversation about enhancing the podcast experience through soundboards. Kendahl expresses her frustration over not incorporating one earlier, leading to amusing exchanges about sound effects like the infamous "misogyny alert."

Notable Quote:
Kendall Landriff (02:08): “I felt like I'd never really seen one Before. I thought if we had that soundboard, everything would be different.”

Timestamp: 07:07 – 12:23

Miles Bonsignore joins the conversation, sharing humorous insights about podcasting and interactions with fans. The trio engages in witty banter, highlighting their unorthodox yet effective approach to relationship advice.

Notable Quote:
Miles Bonsignore (16:30): “Somebody Call me a perfect person. I try to give my advice the darndest that I possibly can be.”

Timestamp: 12:23 – 16:28

Personal Anecdotes: High School and Relationship Insights

The hosts delve into their high school experiences, revealing quirky and relatable stories that shape their perspectives on relationships today. Kendall reminisces about her YouTube vlogs and the confidence she harbored as a self-proclaimed "famous YouTuber," while Jordan discusses his time at a Catholic school and navigating diverse social dynamics.

Notable Quote:
Kendall Landriff (09:16): “I have a YouTube channel that had 100 subscribers from my school. I thought I was famous.”

Timestamp: 09:10 – 15:10

Navigating Natural Disasters and Preparedness

A segment of the episode focuses on personal experiences with natural disasters, particularly wildfires in California and hurricanes from their backgrounds. Kendall shares her rigorous evacuation strategies, prioritizing essential items, while Jordan reflects on his upbringing between New Orleans and South Florida.

Notable Quote:
Kendall Landriff (05:01): “I felt less prepared because I grew up around natural disasters. I evacuate all the time.”

Timestamp: 04:20 – 06:14

Relationship Challenges and Advice

The core of the episode revolves around addressing listeners' relationship dilemmas. A noteworthy discussion ensues about a listener, "Glorben," whose work experience was awkwardly affected by accidental playing of an explicit audiobook—a scenario that sparks laughter and empathy among the hosts.

Notable Quote:
Ryan Reynolds (17:32): “It was so embarrassing. Then he was like, oh yeah, no worries.”

Timestamp: 17:30 – 20:26

The conversation shifts to the viability of divorce as a solution for unhappy relationships. The hosts advocate for terminating toxic relationships, emphasizing the emotional and financial ramifications while acknowledging the difficulty of such decisions.

Notable Quote:
Kendall Landriff (20:38): “We are big proponents of getting divorced. If you are not happy, just get divorced.”

Timestamp: 20:26 – 25:25

Audience Questions: Cheating and Emotional Challenges

Listeners' questions form a substantial part of the episode, with scenarios ranging from dealing with cheating partners to navigating complex emotions in relationships. One prominent question discusses a situation where a listener's girlfriend harbors feelings for her best friend, leading to jealousy and trust issues.

Notable Quote:
Kendall Landriff (35:01): “I have a fantasy of being a man because I feel like men can do so little as a boyfriend.”

Timestamp: 35:01 – 53:33

Specific Listener Questions Addressed:

1. Cheating and Best Friends:

   • Scenario: A listener's best friend is involved with a married coworker whose wife is pregnant.
   • Advice: The hosts suggest confronting the cheating individual, informing the wronged spouse, and reevaluating the friendship.
   • Notable Quote:
     Jordan Myron (31:02): “Maybe they should tell the wife because if he's doing this, he's either gonna leave her now or she finds out and leaves.”

2. Emotional Barriers with Partners:

   • Scenario: A listener struggles to discuss traumatic feelings about their absent father with their emotionally intelligent boyfriend.
   • Advice: The hosts recommend initiating the conversation directly, expressing the desire to share personal experiences, and being honest about emotional needs.
   • Notable Quote:
     Ryan Reynolds (36:20): “Just don't wait for people to ask you what's wrong. Tell them.”

Red Flag Segment: Spotting Warning Signs in Relationships

In their signature "Red Flag, Green Flag" segment, the hosts highlight common relationship warning signs. This week's red flags focus on behavioral patterns that may indicate deeper issues.

1. Excessive Takeout Ordering:

   • Description: Ordering delivery more than once a week can signal financial irresponsibility or lack of effort in the relationship.
   • Notable Quote:
     Jordan Myron (53:48): “If you're ordering delivery more than once a week, that's a red flag.”

2. Inconsiderate Dog Ownership:

   • Description: Owning exceptionally large or unruly dogs in inappropriate settings reflects selfishness and lack of consideration for others.
   • Notable Quote:
     Kendall Landriff (57:56): “Why do people own literal mooses in Los Angeles? These dogs are nine feet tall.”

Humorous Dog-Related Stories and Advice

The episode takes a light-hearted turn as the hosts share amusing and sometimes outrageous stories about dog ownership. From unleashed dogs causing chaos to the emotional strain of managing large pets, Kendall and Jordan provide both laughs and practical advice.

Notable Quote:
Ryan Reynolds (60:34): “If your dog does something crazy, that's the owner's fault.”

Timestamp: 55:58 – 67:25

Closing Remarks and Couple of the Week

As the episode nears its end, the hosts acknowledge their guest, Miles Bonsignore, naming him as the "Couple of the Week" alongside playful banter about his relationship with his gaming PC. They encourage listeners to engage with them on various platforms, including Instagram, Patreon, and YouTube, ensuring continued interaction and support.

Notable Quote:
Jordan Myron (67:17): “Vote in the comments whether you think it's Miles and his wife or Miles and his PC.”

Timestamp: 67:00 – 68:01

Conclusion

Episode 48 of "Happy Wife Happy Life" successfully blends humor with genuine relationship advice, offering listeners both entertainment and practical solutions to their most pressing romantic dilemmas. With the addition of Miles Bonsignore, the conversation gains depth, while Kendall and Jordan's chemistry ensures an engaging and relatable listening experience.

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Key Takeaways:

• Honest Communication: Encouraging open dialogue in relationships to address underlying issues.
• Identifying Red Flags: Recognizing behavioral patterns that may signal deeper relationship problems.
• Humor in Relationships: Using humor to navigate and discuss serious relationship topics.
• Support Systems: Leveraging friendships and professional advice to resolve personal relationship challenges.

Final Thought:
"It should just be easy to have a relationship where it feels like family, but also where you can laugh at the chaos together."

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For more insights and entertaining discussions on relationships, subscribe to "Happy Wife Happy Life" on your preferred podcast platform, and follow Kendahl Landreth and Jordan Myrick on Instagram and Patreon.

Transcript

[Ryan Reynolds]

Hey, I'm Ryan Reynolds. Recently I asked Mint Mobile's legal team if big wireless companies are allowed to raise prices due to inflation. They said yes.

[Kendall Landriff]

And then when I asked if raising.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Prices technically violates those onerous two year contracts, they said, what the are you talking about? You insane Hollywood. So to recap, we're cutting the price.

[Kendall Landriff]

Of mint unlimited from $30 a month.

[Ryan Reynolds]

To just $15 a month. Give it a [e-mail] Switch $45 upfront payment equivalent to $15 per month.

[Jordan Myron]

New customers on first 3 month plan only.

[Kendall Landriff]

Taxes and fees, extra Speed slower above.

[Ryan Reynolds]

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[Jordan Myron]

Welcome to Happy Wife, Happy Life.

[Kendall Landriff]

We're your hosts. I'm Kendall Landriff.

[Jordan Myron]

And I'm Jordan Myron.

[Kendall Landriff]

And we are two incredibly unqualified but.

[Jordan Myron]

Deeply in love comedians who are here to help you with all things relationship. And today we are helping you with your most difficult problems. So we brought in an additional professional advice giver, Miles Bonsignore.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Hi.

[Jordan Myron]

Miles.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Happy to be here. Thank you for having me.

[Jordan Myron]

It's so wonderful to have you. You might know Miles from Try Guys or the Perfect Person podcast. We had so many fans be like, you have to get Miles on the podcast. So we did it.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I'm glad that my fans are out there, Gorilla tactics style, getting me on shows big time. I mean you guys can get did on my show and it was obviously a delight. You were so fun.

[Jordan Myron]

It was so fun.

[Kendall Landriff]

Well, I was just telling you before we started rolling that after we left recording, I was deeply mad at Jordan because I said, why did you not ever pitch us getting a soundboard?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah, the soundboard is, it's, it can be too powerful, I will say because I'll hit the fart noise too many times and there's obviously a fringe group that does not fan of the fart noise. They don't like that.

[Jordan Myron]

Of course.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Of course.

[Kendall Landriff]

Well, I felt like I'd never really seen one Before. And in my head, after we left, I was like, and that's why we're not as successful as we could be, because we don't have that. I thought. I was like, if we had that soundboard, everything would be different.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Agreed. Yeah. I mean, you can put different fun things in there. Sometimes people say stuff on the show and it goes on the soundboard.

[Jordan Myron]

That's really fun.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. One of the sound effects was just a live. It's a misogyny alert. And it was my friend saying, all aboard. Misogyny alert.

[Kendall Landriff]

All aboard.

[Ryan Reynolds]

All aboard. We decided to do it like Crazy Train.

[Jordan Myron]

I love that.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Sort of the laugh and the. Yeah.

[Kendall Landriff]

You cannot invite me on the podcast ever again because the whole episode will be me trying to make a sound bite.

[Jordan Myron]

For your sound bite, Kendall will be going big time. Oh. Like, right into the camera every 30 seconds.

[Ryan Reynolds]

It's like someone trying to make a TikTok audio, like, really intentionally.

[Jordan Myron]

Yeah. I also will say, if anyone's here from your podcast and listened to the episode with Kendall and I, I do just kind of want to update everyone I know. We helped a woman who had some of her crotch waxed off.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yes, she did.

[Jordan Myron]

By her boss. And I told her that it was going to be okay because I, too, had some of my crotch waxed off.

[Ryan Reynolds]

That's right.

[Kendall Landriff]

That's why you told her it would be okay because your life is terrible now.

[Jordan Myron]

Well.

[Kendall Landriff]

And that's what I want on your ass every night.

[Jordan Myron]

That's what I wanted to touch base on. I'm actually not okay still. I hope she's okay. No, I still have patches of issue spots where Kendall has to rub an ointment every night.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Issue spots. I imagined it wasn't italics, but.

[Jordan Myron]

Yeah. Quotes, italics, underlined, question mark.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, my God. That's terrible. Well, I have. I don't know that I've called her back yet, because I call people back sometimes on the show, and I do hope that her skin is okay.

[Jordan Myron]

Me, too.

[Ryan Reynolds]

She is waxed so intensely. It really is tough.

[Kendall Landriff]

Waxing is a dangerous game because it really is. If it's just a little too hot or if you are on a medication, if you're using Trentinoin, you can get the skin ripped right off ya.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. I don't envy people who get waxed. I don't think I've ever done it. I don't fathom that I have.

[Kendall Landriff]

Who do you think has to get waxed?

[Ryan Reynolds]

That's a really good question. And actually, that's a misogyny alert.

[Kendall Landriff]

Choo.

[Jordan Myron]

Choo, choo, choo. Big time. Oh.

[Kendall Landriff]

We do have to just say the elephant in the room, which is that all around us is fire.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, yes. Yeah. It's a hard time to be in LA right now.

[Jordan Myron]

Yeah. It does feel so goofy, me emailing you last week kind of at the peak of the fire and me being like, I'm so sorry I have to email you. Please feel free to cancel. Or if everything's not on fire, see you Monday at 10:45 to Gab. Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Well, I think it's important for me if you don't live in LA and you're seeing the news. Louisiana is very big.

[Jordan Myron]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

So there's a lot. A lot of things can be happening at the same time. So obviously there's fires and they're very scary and very devastating. But where we are right now, inside the Spotify studios. Safe.

[Jordan Myron]

Very safe.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Very safe.

[Jordan Myron]

I am always shocked. It never ceases to amaze me how unprepared people who did not grow up around natural disasters are.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jordan Myron]

So many of my friends that grew up in the Northeast that now live in la, that only grew up with like snowstorms, no clue what to do.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Did you go. So you. What type of natural disasters did you grow privy to?

[Jordan Myron]

I'm a hurricane guy. So I grew up.

[Kendall Landriff]

I'm a hurricane Hailey.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jordan Myron]

I grew up in going kind of back and forth between New Orleans and South Florida.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. Okay.

[Jordan Myron]

So kind of the two hotspots for the hurricanes. So every single year it's like that. Every single year, you evacuate. Every single year, you miss school. It's a thing. And then I moved here in high school, so there's been fires here, but people don't know what to do. When I lived in New York and Hurricane Sandy happened, people did not know what to do.

[Kendall Landriff]

I will say I feel less prepared because I grew up around natural disasters. Cause I was in Northern California, so many wildfires. I evacuated all the time. So what it takes for me to evacuate is like, it's gotta be right there. It's gotta be in my house. And then I'm like, we should think about maybe evacuating.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I was talking to me to have to really choose what I was putting in the car that was.

[Kendall Landriff]

And what did you pick?

[Ryan Reynolds]

And I just want to say I'm not proud of this, but my PC, which I use for work, but it is also, I would say, quote unquote, a gaming PC. That going in the car and then choosing between. It was very. It was a weird because I was like, Do I take my cameras? Do I bring these weird things? I'm like taking a fire safe with our things. I held my mechanical keyboard in my hand, wondering if it was worth it, Right? Didn't bring it. You know, it's really interesting. What. What is sort of the. The end of the list. The things that are the most important to me.

[Kendall Landriff]

It's the last thing you just bought. Feels the most important. Like, I just bought new dry shampoo. And I'm like, well, I just bought it. Now it's gonna burn. I can feel the money being wasted. So I'm grabbing the new stuff. We just found a painting on the side of the road. I was like, load the painting in.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, whoa. Painting.

[Kendall Landriff]

Made it in before my birthday.

[Jordan Myron]

Obsessed with the painting now. So she's like, get the painting in the car.

[Kendall Landriff]

Oh, I found it on the street.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Are the listeners tired of hearing about the painting or can I hear about the painting?

[Jordan Myron]

You can hear about the painting. I think may maybe. We briefly mentioned it last week.

[Kendall Landriff]

It wasn't brief. I talked a lot about it.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Is there any updates?

[Jordan Myron]

There's an update.

[Kendall Landriff]

It still looks awesome.

[Jordan Myron]

Well, we hung it. Kendall went outside and was like, I found a painting on the street.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Whoa.

[Kendall Landriff]

Well, first I didn't say anything.

[Jordan Myron]

That's true.

[Ryan Reynolds]

You put it up?

[Jordan Myron]

No, she just didn't. She just went outside. I left it on the street. Then a while later, she was like, oh, there was this painting on the street. And I think I assumed she meant like a print of a painting. And I was like, oh, okay, cool. If you want it, bring it inside. And she was like, no, no, that's crazy. And I was like, okay. And then later, I went outside to walk the dog, saw the painting. I was like, get your ass out here and get this painting. It's a hand painted, like one of a kind piece of art painted by our neighbor. Painted by someone who lives in our neighborhood. I guess it is almost in the style of a Kincaid painting. It's so beautiful. We brought it inside. It matches our paint in our kitchen perfectly. So much so that we started to get paranoid that maybe there was some kind of camera in the painting or something. Like it had been set up as a trap for us.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, you were worried that somebody was trying to bug your home?

[Jordan Myron]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Honestly, that is a good way. If you're trying to spy on your neighbor. Put a painting in their aesthetic outside of their house. Free sign on it.

[Jordan Myron]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Not a bad idea at all.

[Kendall Landriff]

It seems like they probably already have a camera if they know the aesthetic of our home.

[Ryan Reynolds]

That is a really good point.

[Kendall Landriff]

How many cameras are in there?

[Jordan Myron]

A couple of our neighbors have been in our house.

[Kendall Landriff]

That's true. That's true. But, yeah, we. We brought. We were like, okay, we'll bring that. I had none of my medication. I didn't have anything that I needed.

[Ryan Reynolds]

No bills.

[Jordan Myron]

We had a giant duffel bag full of every pair of underwear we own.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jordan Myron]

And it's crazy because I'm like, where did I think we were going?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah, that's. Where did you think you were going?

[Jordan Myron]

I don't know.

[Kendall Landriff]

Where.

[Jordan Myron]

I would never be able to get panties again. Is what?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Never once.

[Kendall Landriff]

Underwear. Sorry to out us. We've had the same underwear for 42 years. I mean, it is horrible. It says holes in it. It's like, you need to buy new stuff. Anyways, we still. So we grabbed. It's very weird, the stuff you buy. I had a memory of evacuating when I was in high school. And this is very telling of my personality in high school, because I was a real bitch.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Really?

[Kendall Landriff]

Well, I was, you know, in the drama department, and I thought I was theater.

[Jordan Myron]

She was like, sorry, a loser bitch. Do you know what I mean?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Because I was gonna say you were. If you were, like, cruel. I was wondering if you were popular.

[Jordan Myron]

Regina, she wasn't, like, cool.

[Kendall Landriff]

I don't think I was cool cruel. I just thought I was famous, which is really.

[Ryan Reynolds]

That's so awesome.

[Kendall Landriff]

Insane. Like.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. Like you thought people were paying attention. Yeah.

[Kendall Landriff]

And I had a YouTube channel. It had 100 subscribers that went to my school that I had literally been like, give me your phone. I'm subscribing. My senior quote is a link to this YouTube channel. Because I thought I was famous.

[Ryan Reynolds]

What kind of videos were you making?

[Kendall Landriff]

Vlogs. And they were so consistent. More consistent than I've been in the last 10 years. And I would post, if I had something to do, I'd be like, hey, guys. Zero views on the video. Hey, guys, I'm sorry I missed last week. I'm sure you guys were like, where is she? But I had to go get my braces out. And then, you know, it was just like, it's so consistent. And I felt like when I would walk into a room, I'd be like, everyone's like, there's the YouTuber. The famous YouTuber.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I love this so much. Are these available for me to watch today?

[Kendall Landriff]

They're private, and I can send you.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Them because I feel like you should, honestly. I mean, at this point now you are a digital personality, you should at the very least react to some of your old vlog.

[Kendall Landriff]

That's true. Maybe I should. And I don't think you've ever seen them.

[Jordan Myron]

I haven't watched them.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I think you should do a play by play director's commentary on some of these old videos.

[Jordan Myron]

That's a really good idea.

[Kendall Landriff]

I will say they're not cute. They are, in the true sense of the word, a hard watch.

[Ryan Reynolds]

That's perfect.

[Kendall Landriff]

They're Q and A's, all questions. I had my mom send me.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, that's so cute though.

[Kendall Landriff]

Like you guys are. And I just would lie. I was just like. But I felt so confident. I felt like I wasn't lying. I was like, you guys have been just like bombarding me with these questions. So I'm doing a Q and A. Truly crazy. So I remember when I just to give you a little insight how I was when I was evacuating for a fire, my mom was running out to the car and she saw what I'd packed and I just had a bag full of my drama department awards.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh.

[Kendall Landriff]

And that was all. Nothing else. Cat was still inside. I was just like, this is all you need.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Best ensemble.

[Jordan Myron]

Yeah, truly.

[Kendall Landriff]

They're not real. They're truly not real.

[Jordan Myron]

So they were plastic. So you knew they would have melted in the fire. So you had to get them.

[Ryan Reynolds]

You had to save them.

[Jordan Myron]

Were you confident in high school?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, I probably was. My high school was very small. 40 kids grade so 120 ish kids, the whole high school. And I was like. I was very involved in the theater department of it all. I was on the. We had like an improv team. I was doing that. But it wasn't hard to be kind of like one of the popular kids because kind of everyone was popular and was popular. But I was probably pretty confident. I don't know. I was Conrad Birdie and Bye Bye Birdie.

[Jordan Myron]

Okay, and that'll do it to you.

[Ryan Reynolds]

That'll do it to you. It was. That was my senior year. And I remember because the school was small, they waived my sexual education credit so that I could be in the musical.

[Kendall Landriff]

Well, that's nice.

[Ryan Reynolds]

The, like, head teacher was like. She was like, miles, just let you know. I know that it's spring semester, senior year, and you have one credit that you have not done yet. And it's Sex, Health. And the musical actually is at that time. And we're gonna go ahead and wave it because we need you to be in the musical.

[Kendall Landriff]

They're like, you've already.

[Ryan Reynolds]

They're like, oh, your experience.

[Jordan Myron]

That's what I needed to know. Were you such a loser that they were. He absolutely will not be fudgeing. Or were you so seasoned? They were like, he already knows how to put a condom on.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I think it was that. But I think also at the time, I also was working for Planned Parenthood as an editor.

[Jordan Myron]

I was like, in high school?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yes. I was, like, editing videos for Planned Parenthood. My friend worked at this, like, sort of, like, fringe group of teenagers that worked in and out of Planned Parenthood somehow. So we were, like, around it enough that I think they were like, this kid knows how to put a gun. They were like, he's given abortion Operating. Yeah. No. So somehow, like, they. Yeah, they waived the credit.

[Kendall Landriff]

So you were pretty involved in high school?

[Ryan Reynolds]

I was like, yeah, I did, like. I did a lot of theater stuff, did improv, did the theater thing. Like, was, like, writing weird plays, making weird short films. I was not making vlogs. I wish that I was, but I was making KE music videos to, like, learn editing. So I was making, like, a music video to the Tick to TikTok by Ke$, or blow by Kesha. Unless, like, me and my friends with a little camcorder and. Yeah, that's what I was doing in high school, mostly.

[Kendall Landriff]

Sweet. That is absolutely incredible, because I feel like in high school you get involved in such weird stuff. I don't know.

[Jordan Myron]

You just like.

[Kendall Landriff]

I have a distinct memory of. My friend was a Baha'I. The religion.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, yes. Oh, my gosh. I forgot about Baha'I. Haven't thought about it a long time, but I think about it all the time. There were kids that were Baha'I.

[Kendall Landriff]

Y and so he was Baha'I. And I somehow got wrangled in. And I don't think it was hard. I was like, sure. I just think it's like when you don't have a car, you're desperate for a ride.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Kendall Landriff]

So every Tuesday, we would meet at a coffee shop with this woman who would. We had workbooks, and we would, like. I was taught, like, the teachings of being a Baha'I, and I, like, wasn't Baha'I. And I don't know, but I just was like, someone's gotta drive me home.

[Jordan Myron]

Listen, when your parents work a lot, you gotta find something to do. I was in so many situations like that. I used to be driven to high school by a senior when I was a freshman who put an air mattress in the back of his suv. And I rode to school lying on that.

[Kendall Landriff]

Why did he have that? To have sex in, probably.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Definitely. This guy was awesome.

[Jordan Myron]

And I was rolling around in my uniform, being like, I got to get to class.

[Ryan Reynolds]

You'd wear uniforms?

[Jordan Myron]

Yes. I went to Catholic school briefly. I'm not Catholic, but it was, like, a good school near me, and my parents were obsessed with education and me going to a good college, So I went to this Catholic school, and then anytime they did anything Catholic, I would just have to sit out with other kids whose parents were exactly like mine.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, wow.

[Jordan Myron]

Yeah, there were, like, Muslim kids that went to my high school. Jewish kids went to my high school. We all just had to, like, chill while everyone else did communion because we were not allowed to do it and didn't want to. But it was just, like, a really academically good school.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, I've heard of that. Actually. I feel like that some. Like, somebody was just telling me that that in San Francisco, there's a lot of, like, good religious high schools that you don't have to be religious to go to or whatever. Like, Catholic universities or whatever.

[Jordan Myron]

Yeah, I think anywhere that has, like, a big Catholic population. Those people love schools.

[Ryan Reynolds]

They love school. Well, I'm sort of like. I'm wondering if my son Julian was like, yeah, we can drive him to. We can drive him to soccer. We are gonna teach him about Christianity. I'd probably be like, maybe we find another.

[Jordan Myron]

Well, they got her in a different position than our parents were.

[Kendall Landriff]

Okay, that's true.

[Jordan Myron]

Listen, my mom was at the hospital. She was like, just get to see you later, queen.

[Kendall Landriff]

When people talk about Pepperdine University, like, anytime I talk to someone who goes there, they're like, yeah, it's really religious, but, like, you just kind of pretend to be a Christian, and then, like, you get to go to the beach all the time. I'm like, all right.

[Jordan Myron]

Yeah, I do it. I love the beach.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I do like the beach. I remember touring a college, UNC Wilmington, and I went, and I was like, how's the school? And now everyone was just like, the beach is awesome. And I was like, I don't think I can go to school here. Like, if it's like, nobody goes to class, and they all just like. Like the beach.

[Kendall Landriff]

Yeah.

[Jordan Myron]

That feels like Arizona State University. University or something. Where people are like, it's so much fun.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Like, yeah, it's cool, too. Yeah.

[Jordan Myron]

Wow. All right, I'm ready to answer a question.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Me too.

[Kendall Landriff]

You're the best advice giver on planet Earth.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Well, thank you very much. I. I try my best. You know, somebody Call me a perfect person. I try to give my advice the darndest that I possibly can be. And I actually do think that the show started as me giving bad advice because I don't know anything. And it's become me having dealt with people calling in about the stuff before. So actually do. I am like, oh yeah, this is what I like, probably might be good. Although I did recently I worry that I ruined a girl's work experience. And this is because I just called her back and she had played an alien sex audiobook on her laptop accidentally out loud in a. She worked in an office with one other person and she's 26. He was like 45. And her AirPods disconnected and her laptop started playing this like alien erotica about blue people on a planet and they're all horny and whatever. And she was like, I have to reset the vibe. And I told her to address it with the guy. I have to reset the vibe. She was like, it's bad. Like I'm paranoid in my office. And then like I. My advice did lead her astray and it was awkward.

[Jordan Myron]

What happened?

[Ryan Reynolds]

I said, you should. I was like, you should accidentally play like this American Life on your laptop and then be like, oh, sorry, that played. It's not like that other time. That was like, totally, you know, like, I was so embarrassed.

[Kendall Landriff]

Haha.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Lol. And then like, he would be like, oh yeah, no worries. Yeah, that was wild. Like, that's all I. I was like, that might reset the vibe. But she was like, it did not. He like, didn't speak to me for the rest. We called her Glorben on the show and everyone was so I will say.

[Kendall Landriff]

What people are listening to on audiobooks is nuts. I read straight porn famously. Like, that's all I'm reading. I'm like 60 books read this year. It's like literally pornography. Yeah, right. But when I hear people reading these same books in an audio version, which I assume is like a British woman interrupt, you.

[Jordan Myron]

You read straight up porn.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah, not. Not like fantasy. It's not like Acotar.

[Jordan Myron]

It's like it sounded like you were saying, I read heterosexual porn. And I was like, oh, straight up.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Hey, cool.

[Jordan Myron]

I got confused.

[Kendall Landriff]

Porn. No, I read a lot of lesbians.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I don't read straight up porn. I read gay ass.

[Jordan Myron]

All I do is listen to straight porn.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And I was like, you're like, what?

[Kendall Landriff]

I'm still trying to pretend I'm not a lesbian.

[Ryan Reynolds]

You're like, it's literature.

[Jordan Myron]

Okay, I'm sorry to interrupt. Yes, all you do is read gay ass.

[Kendall Landriff]

Straight up gay ass porn.

[Jordan Myron]

Straight up gay ass porn.

[Kendall Landriff]

And I. But I hear people, they read the audiobooks and like, the thought of a British man being like my core wanted her more than any. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, that's like for your. The way they write erotica is fine reading it. But if anyone were to ever speak those in real life, whispering it into your ear. Because no one talks like that. Like, I've heard genitals called things in smut that I'm like, this is a made up word you invented. It only exists in smut. And that's it.

[Jordan Myron]

I hate it. I hate literotica. It makes me feel like a sexy.

[Kendall Landriff]

It's like a drag queen's name.

[Jordan Myron]

Literatica would be a drag queen.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Lydiarotica.

[Jordan Myron]

I just think it feels so perverted in a way that I don't like, which, like, don't get me wrong, like I have sex, but it's like it is.

[Kendall Landriff]

Doesn't sound like it, but, you know, it's just so.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jordan Myron]

Like, they'll be like her center quivered. And I'm like, you're like, you should be in prison. Federal penitentiary.

[Ryan Reynolds]

You eat people in your center.

[Kendall Landriff]

The word quiver never doesn't give you a full visual. Like, when it's like. Like even if I'm reading it and I'm turned on, if you say her vagina, vagina quivered. I'm picturing a vagina just vibrating like.

[Jordan Myron]

The blinds of a building with the AC's too high.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah, it's very. It paints picture.

[Kendall Landriff]

No, it is scary to give people advice sometimes because we're just throwing shit out there.

[Ryan Reynolds]

But that's ever. I assume that people know that it's thrown out.

[Kendall Landriff]

You would think, but we have received follow ups that are like, I did divorce them. And I go back to the clip and that's being like, divorce that idiot and be a lesbian. And I'm like, idiots. We don't know what we're talking about.

[Jordan Myron]

She.

[Kendall Landriff]

They're like now trying to fight, you know, figuring out the custody of our kids. I'm like, oh, no. We have really changed the course of this person's life. But maybe I think for the better.

[Jordan Myron]

Sorry. I'll say. This is something to know before we go into the questions. Kendall and I are big proponents of getting divorced. If you are not happy, just get divorced.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah, that's interesting. I guess I worry about the finances, sure. But like. No, no, it's not. But I'm really like gonna Be expensive.

[Jordan Myron]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I'm sort of like, yeah, because it just sounds devastating. Oh, you know what? I'm. I'm such a proponent of don't get married unless you're down for the clown.

[Jordan Myron]

I understand that.

[Ryan Reynolds]

You know what I mean? Because I'm also, like, it's, like, such a big thing also with the kids. I love my children. I'm so, like, glad we have kids. But, like, not everyone should have kids, for sure. Definitely not. Right? Like. And I think it's just, like, because it's such a big decision.

[Kendall Landriff]

It is a big. We do make it sound really easy. We're always like, just divorce. It is really hard. Especially who knows what state they're in.

[Jordan Myron]

But we just have people that will write, oh, no.

[Ryan Reynolds]

No. People are in horrible relationships, and they need to be. Breakup.

[Jordan Myron]

People will write in and they'll be like, my husband's been in 300 car accidents.

[Kendall Landriff]

This is when we got.

[Jordan Myron]

He won't stop driving drunk or whatever. And I'm like, you simply have to. Or they'll be like, you know, my husband has been cheating for 12 years. I'm like, you have to.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yes. The first, like, hundred episodes of Perfect Person were me telling girls to break up with their boyfriend.

[Kendall Landriff]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

They'd be like, my boyfriend's like a nightmare. Everybody hates him, and he's horrible. Should I, like, keep dating him? I kind of like him. And it's like, no, just break up. You're 22. Like, just break up.

[Kendall Landriff]

I have a true, like, fantasy that I have all the time of, like, being a man, not changing my gender, but I have a fantasy because I feel like men can do so little.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yes.

[Kendall Landriff]

As a boyfriend.

[Ryan Reynolds]

That's correct.

[Kendall Landriff]

You know, just, like, praise so much. And I think the thought of like, getting to just, like, bring you flowers one day and it being, like, all over the Internet and people being, like, to be known as to be loved.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And you're like, what? Like, this guy sucks ass. Oh, yeah. There's, like, all the time. I feel like female friends of mine will date people that are like, this is like, the worst piece of ever. Everybody hates this guy. Like, why are you staying in this relationship? Yeah. It's insane.

[Kendall Landriff]

You feel like a person that people are like, you're a really good boyfriend.

[Jordan Myron]

Yeah.

[Kendall Landriff]

You're a husband.

[Ryan Reynolds]

But you're not gonna say that. I mean, I do think that I. I mean, I definitely try. I'm sure my wife would be like, sometimes you. You know, like, wait, I need to know.

[Jordan Myron]

What's your wife's biggest Complaint of you.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, God. Probably that. I. I would imagine that it's that I. Okay, I'm gonna be vulnerable here. I'm gonna be honest here. It's either that I am too busy all the time or that I, like, think I'm right all the time, which is definitely.

[Kendall Landriff]

I mean, you guys are the same person.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I.

[Kendall Landriff]

That's my biggest problems with Jordan.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. But I think that that's, like. I would also say me and my wife are identical and that we both are very stubborn. We both think we're right all the time. We're both, like, over communicators. We don't really resent much because we just say everything, which is, like, you know, good and bad.

[Jordan Myron]

But we were very similar to that.

[Kendall Landriff]

Yeah. We were in an argument recently where. Because Jordan always thinks they're right. And there was a certain point in the argument where Jordan was like, why do you need one of us to be right and one of us to be wrong? And I. I had to be honest, and I went to be honest. It would feel so good if you just said you were wrong. Like, I just.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Kendall Landriff]

Separate from this argument, I need you to just admit you're wrong, because it would feel so good.

[Jordan Myron]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I'm the same way where I'm like, I own. Honestly, Like, I don't even. I just want it to be like. Yeah, I want the end of the argument. We're both like. And look how we've learned. I'm also such a. Like, it's something, you know. Okay. We're both feeling at odds. Like, let's discuss it. And my wife is just like, let's just move on. We don't need to say anything. Like, you know. And I'm like, well, let's. You know, let's share our feelings and how we're. And she's just like, we don't need to.

[Kendall Landriff]

That's how I am.

[Jordan Myron]

So I would say it's like looking at a mirror.

[Kendall Landriff]

I am the same way. I'm like, are we still. I'm the word. Are we still talking about, you know.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jordan Myron]

You know, But I grew up in.

[Kendall Landriff]

A family where it was like, fight. We all exit. Exit stage left.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yes.

[Kendall Landriff]

Come out three hours later.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Hey.

[Kendall Landriff]

All right.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Dinner ready.

[Kendall Landriff]

And then we never discuss it again.

[Ryan Reynolds]

See, I grew up in a very, like. I guess speaking of Catholic high school, I went to a Quaker school, so. Which was, like, there was a lot about conflict resolution and, you know, equality and sharing our feelings and this whole, like, sort of thing. So I feel like I'M always like, oh, let's discuss. And I imagine that that's exhausting for my wife.

[Kendall Landriff]

It is, I can tell you. All right, let's get to our questions. If you are following us on Instagram, you we always post the questions there. You can also email us in hwhlpod questions gmail.com if you have a longer question. Especially we love to receive an eight part question. And we also get questions on Patreon, so make sure to subscribe there.

[Ryan Reynolds]

This episode is brought to you by Amazon. Sometimes the most painful part of getting.

[Jordan Myron]

Sick is the getting better part.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Waiting on hold for an appointment, sitting in crowded waiting rooms, standing in line at the pharmacy. That's painful. Amazon One Medical and Amazon Pharmacy remove those painful parts of getting better with things like 247 virtual visits and prescriptions delivered to your door thanks to Amazon Pharmacy and Amazon One Medical Healthcare just got less painful.

[Jordan Myron]

One of my best friends is sleeping with her co worker, a married man whose wife is pregnant. I know the wife's Instagram.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Jesus.

[Jordan Myron]

What do I do?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, nothing.

[Kendall Landriff]

You can't do anything.

[Ryan Reynolds]

You can't get it. I mean, that's. By the way, your co worker sucks ass and your co worker is sleeping with a married man whose wife is pregnant.

[Kendall Landriff]

And you think that's bad?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah, I think I'm gonna go on record. Look, I know, like obviously we don't want to judge anyone. We don't want it. I think that sucks.

[Kendall Landriff]

Okay. Because some people are of the thought, not me. I'm not. But some people like, not me. Some people think it's maybe not the person's her problem.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And some people think that like if I like dump like low main on the sidewalk, that someone will clean that up.

[Jordan Myron]

So you think the number one villain.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jordan Myron]

Is the friend?

[Ryan Reynolds]

No, of course not. The number one villain. Are we ranking villains? Is this the Justice League? You know, like, okay, the number one villain is obviously the guy. Right. He's cheating on his pregnant wife. He sucks ass. But then like the number two villain is like. Number two is the baby.

[Jordan Myron]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Number three is like the co worker likes that. It's dramatic.

[Kendall Landriff]

Yes, yes.

[Ryan Reynolds]

They love that. It's like a whole to do and they're looking for attention in their own life in some way.

[Jordan Myron]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And it's like, you know, getting involved with someone that's so clearly inaccessible. Yeah.

[Jordan Myron]

That's what I think. People forget if you are attracted.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yes.

[Jordan Myron]

To married people, people in serious relationships, you know, people who are, you know, whatever, something's going on with you and you need to go to therapy and you need to unpack that.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Well.

[Kendall Landriff]

I think it's easy to be like, it's a coincidence. Like every time, like, okay, I like that guy. And then I found out he was in a relationship.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Kendall Landriff]

And what was I to do? And then the next time I liked a guy and then I found I was married. What am I to do? It's like, it actually has never happened to me before.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yes. No, not once I find that someone's like, oh, it's like, oh, yeah, okay, cool. That's. Bye. Like, I don't want to. Because you want the drama sort of. Right? Yeah.

[Jordan Myron]

And it's addicting.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, it can be. Yeah.

[Kendall Landriff]

And it feels special to be the person. I would assume it's never happened to me, but I assume it feels special. Like I'm the one that's gonna pull him away from his pregnant wife.

[Ryan Reynolds]

God, also just like, Jesus, that poor wife, like, you know, she's. She's married to this douchebag.

[Kendall Landriff]

God.

[Jordan Myron]

Unfortunately, I, I don't know if I'm correct to say this, but I will disagree with you a little bit. I'm almost kind of like, I just.

[Kendall Landriff]

Want to be clear. You disagree with the fact that he said that poor wife.

[Jordan Myron]

No, no, no, no, no. I know her and she's a bitch. No, I, I think it seemed like the initial consensus was that this, she can't do anything. Her friend, this person, their friend is sleeping.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, you think she should reach out?

[Jordan Myron]

I think that maybe they. This, I don't know who this person is, so I don't know what their pronouns are, but I think they should tell their friend to stop and.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Right, right.

[Jordan Myron]

And then I'm like, maybe they should tell the wife.

[Kendall Landriff]

Oh, yeah, you know what? You're a nosy Nelly, though.

[Ryan Reynolds]

That's interesting though, because I, if I, you know, judge. Let's not he be judged. Right. But if I was the wife, would I want someone to reach out and tell me? Yeah, I would.

[Jordan Myron]

That's how I'm thinking about it also.

[Ryan Reynolds]

It's like, it's a coworker are really close. No, I don't think so. So you kind of can't. If it was like, okay, let's say your best friend is doing something like, this is like sleeping with a married person. Would you, Would you like then message the wife of the married person? Probably not.

[Jordan Myron]

If she was pregnant, maybe.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah, if she was pregnant. I mean, that's such a dick ass. It's almost like the Ariana Grande thing.

[Jordan Myron]

Yeah, I think that the pregnant thing.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I was like, should I bring it up? Are you guys friends with her?

[Jordan Myron]

We are, but she's allowed us to speak on. I'm just kind of like, the pregnancy thing really changes the tone of it for me.

[Kendall Landriff]

But the baby's coming no matter what.

[Jordan Myron]

Yeah.

[Kendall Landriff]

But so to me, we gotta know. I'm trying. Because here's the thing. There's different levels of cheaters. We can put them all in the same group. I think people like to put a cheater as a cheater's cheater. But I think, you know, if this is a serial cheater.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yep.

[Kendall Landriff]

Versus a man who's having a midlife crisis because he's pregnant.

[Jordan Myron]

Which.

[Kendall Landriff]

Because he's. He's. Sorry, she's pregnant.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yes.

[Kendall Landriff]

And he's having. And he's handling it terribly. And he is an ass. And he's being asked. And then he like contacts the woman. This could happen. And it's like, okay, no, I've decided I need to be a good husband. Now. Is it better for the wife to know or is it better to blow up her marriage not having. Because the reality is this co worker doesn't have any information. She's. This is all hearsay to her and she actually has nothing to do with conversation. She blows up a co worker.

[Jordan Myron]

Are you talking about the best friend?

[Kendall Landriff]

The best friend.

[Jordan Myron]

There's two best friends.

[Kendall Landriff]

I don't get it.

[Jordan Myron]

This one wrote into us.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jordan Myron]

This one is having sex with her co worker.

[Kendall Landriff]

Oh, I thought, I thought they were coworkers.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. So the best friends.

[Jordan Myron]

Oh, this best friend is having sex with her co worker who's married and his wife is pregnant. I will tell you this, seriously. Scream at your best friend, first of all. But second of all, I'm like, we got a little time to let this woman know. So she cannot put his name on the birth certificate.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Agreed.

[Jordan Myron]

Because is that allowed?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah, you can do. I mean, you could, you could. Like, if they get divorced before it changes the rights, I think of the.

[Jordan Myron]

Husband or whether or not, like you want him in the room with you, there's just like a bunch of things that I would want to know. And I'm also like, I do not believe a cheater is a cheater. Is a cheater. As we know. I've talked on the show before. I think you can get caught up in a moment of passion as a one time thing. Whatever this says, she is actively sleeping. Not one time slept. She's actually sleeping with a man whose wife is pregnant. I think cheating on your wife. No good. Cheating on your pregnant wife. Fucked up bad guy.

[Kendall Landriff]

Well, maybe I'm thinking it's bad because she's about a baby, but I'm like, well, maybe this would be the perfect time to get out. She can start her life.

[Jordan Myron]

That's why she's got a. Ditch him.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I agree. I think it's almost like. I mean, I don't know. If I was being cheated on, I would always want to know. Like, there's almost no circumstance where I'd be like, well, if I don't know. And then they. Because it's like, about the behavior, betrayal. Like, you'd want to know that they've, like, are undervaluing you. And I agree. It's not like. It's like, oh, it was at a work retreat and it was one. And I'm. I feel so horrible. And it's over forever. It's like, no, you did this and you're kind of continuing to do it. It's like, so evil. But, yeah, I think. I think maybe she. If the. Unless the co worker is like, excuse me. Unless the best friend is like, I'm done and I'm never gonna do it again. You don't have to get involved. But if she continues to do it, I think you gotta.

[Kendall Landriff]

Because I'm very pro. The girl who's sleeping with him. Reaching out to the girlfriend, that feels like, yes, that's good. I think where I get scared is that we're. We're moving far away from the situation. Because also this is gonna end her friendship with that friend.

[Jordan Myron]

Yeah, but she doesn't need to be friends with that girl.

[Ryan Reynolds]

No. And it's also like, I don't think I could be. If I found out a friend was doing something that intensely cruel.

[Jordan Myron]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Then I would probably be like, you need to.

[Kendall Landriff]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Like, you know, and if they are, I guess their defense. I'm trying to think of what they'd say. Maybe this. The best friend would be like, well, I love him and he's gonna leave, you know, his wife for me. And I'd be like, that's fine. But right now, you can't see this person until that happens because you're just, like, damaging, you know?

[Jordan Myron]

And you don't need to be friends with people that are that delusional. Sorry. He's not leaving his pregnant wife for you.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Never. Never.

[Jordan Myron]

And it's not helpful to have friends that are that delusional. They won't give you good advice. What's to stop her from cheating with your husband when you get married and you're pregnant.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jordan Myron]

That kind of behavior is not good. I think. I think you should create a finsta, a fake Instagram account in 2016, and I think you should message his pregnant wife and be like, I just need to let you know that your husband is cheating on you with someone. I know. I'm so sorry to have to tell you this, but I couldn't move forward with my day to day life knowing that this was going on behind your back without giving you the heads up, which is what I would want someone to do to me. And then that's it.

[Ryan Reynolds]

No, I think that. Yeah, I think that that's good. It's like order of operations. Like, yell at the best friend. You need to stop this. Then. They won't stop. They're continuing to do it. The baby's gestating. You know, it's like, she needs to know also, because if he's doing this, he's either gonna leave her now and. Or she finds out and leaves. Or she, you know, she may find out and then be like, we're staying together for this, whatever. But she needs to know that now, not when the baby is two months old. Because when that happens, it is like fully triage mode. You just can't do anything about it.

[Kendall Landriff]

I am not trying to put any blame on the woman who's being cheated on, but I sometimes am. Like, how are people's partners cheating on them without them knowing?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Who is the.

[Kendall Landriff]

Who has the fucking time?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Also, like, who can. I could never. I can't go to sleep if I, like, watch a TV show that we're watching together without telling my wife. Hey, by the way, like, I'm really sorry, but I did watch, like, Silo, you know, Like, I. I could never. The guilt that I would feel. I could never.

[Kendall Landriff]

You know, and it makes me wonder. I'm like, am I really, like, controlling that? I know where you are at all.

[Jordan Myron]

Times we're together, But I'm like, 25.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah, of course.

[Kendall Landriff]

How would I ever. I don't even know when I would. You would know immediately. I just can't. And I'm sure it's easier. We also both work from home, so maybe that's hard.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I think also people. I think sometimes people are in relationships and they're like, nothing. Not that close.

[Jordan Myron]

Yes, I think that's very true.

[Ryan Reynolds]

You know, they're like, oh, this is my. Like, oh, you know, she's like, oh, yeah, he's off doing boy time, right? It's like, what? Like, what are you talking about?

[Jordan Myron]

Yeah, she hates him, so she'll just.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Let him do it.

[Jordan Myron]

Yeah, I hope he's cheating.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah, exactly. Right.

[Jordan Myron]

How can I start a conversation with my boyfriend about my daddy issues? My boyfriend and I have been together almost a year, and things are getting serious. I don't talk to my dad for a lot of dramatic and traumatic reasons. I basically just don't talk about my dad with my boyfriend, and my boyfriend doesn't ask any questions about him. I'm pretty sure my boyfriend knows it's a touchy subject, and he doesn't want to pry, but I wish he would pry. I want my boyfriend to know about this because it's part of me, and I feel like I'm keeping him in the dark and I don't want to. I also feel like it's stopping me from deepening my relationship with my boyfriend. I just wish he could ask something like, so what's the deal with your dad? And I would be happy to trauma dump all over him. My boyfriend is great, and he's actually very emotionally intelligent, but I know he's always hesitant to ask his friends questions about their lives for fear of prying and asking questions that are too personal. Any tips about how to bring this up or have this conversation would be much appreciated.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Well, it sounds like she should just tell him.

[Kendall Landriff]

I feel like it might be a really simple. I think it. Wanting him to pry is. Is tough. That's kind of a tough thing to put on him. I feel like you've got to just be like, just start talking about your dad. And if he's emotionally intelligent, it feels like he would be open to it, especially since, you know, he has issues in the past being afraid to pry about stuff with his friends.

[Ryan Reynolds]

When I was in middle school once, I remember I got in the car and I was sort of in a. Like, I was doing this thing where I was like, oh, moody, right? Because I was wanting someone to come up to me and be like, what's wrong? And my dad. I got in the car and my dad was like, miles, if you're feeling safe, you should, like. If you, like, are feeling sad, you should tell. Like, just, like, don't wait for people to ask you what's wrong? Because you could tell I was clearly putting on a performance of, like, yeah, you know, waiting for someone to come up to me. And I think, similarly, she should just, like, ask him, you know, like. Or be like, hey, like, can I tell you about this thing? Like, I'm just thinking about my dad a lot, right? Because he's probably trying to be respectful.

[Kendall Landriff]

Yeah.

[Jordan Myron]

I think you can also be like, I've wanted to talk to you about this for so long, and I just haven't known how to bring it up. I'm always a big proponent of just being really honest about your feelings. That way your boyfriend knows he didn't do anything wrong. It's not right. Like, there's not an issue. It's just, like, you weren't sure how to talk about it, and that's fine.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah, for sure.

[Kendall Landriff]

God, it makes me realize how unmysterious I am as a person.

[Jordan Myron]

Yeah.

[Kendall Landriff]

On our first date, I was like, here's everything that's ever happened to me.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, yeah. Yeah, definitely. Certainly. I'm always the same way. I feel like I'm always very upfront about things because also, like, I like to share. I don't know. I also usually will ask questions about people until I feel like it goes too far. Like, not like. Like, I feel like it's like, tell me when to stop.

[Jordan Myron]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. It's like, oh, my God. Like, wow, that's really hard. Like, did you. You know. Yeah. Because I feel like people like to share, but they aren't always given the opportunity.

[Kendall Landriff]

Yeah.

[Jordan Myron]

I'm also like, don't bring it up if you don't want to talk about it.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jordan Myron]

One of my biggest pet peeves is when people are like, I'm going through something really hard right now. And then you're like, oh, what? And then they're like, I don't want to talk about it.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And it's like, then what? Then you want me to pry? Yeah. You want to ask again?

[Jordan Myron]

What do you want? I don't understand. What do you want? Let's just talk about it. Or if you really don't want to talk about it, don't talk about it. But I'm like, what is this game? Why do you want this attention? It's so weird to me, and it infuriates me because I don't need to know anything that you don't want me to know, but you clearly want me to know something. And what you want me to know is what? That you're being dramatic.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jordan Myron]

That you're being closed off. That you're annoying me.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I remember, like, this was such a college thing, but somebody would, like, pull out their phone, get a text and go, oh, God. Like, waiting for someone to be like, what's wrong? Hate that. Can't handle it too much.

[Kendall Landriff]

It's like giving the girl who just starts kind of like, humming under her breath. And everyone's like, that's really good. She's like, I don't know. Yeah. No, don't tell them. Don't tell them.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah, Sorry.

[Kendall Landriff]

I auditioned for the Voice. There's always some bitch in my high school who was auditioning for the Voice. I'm like, really? I never see it in air. When did it air?

[Ryan Reynolds]

When did it air? No way.

[Jordan Myron]

That feels like such a unique experience to me. I don't know if I've ever experienced someone humming under their voice and then everyone being like, what's going on?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Well, you should sing. You should actually sing. That's really good.

[Jordan Myron]

I've never experienced that really well. I never heard someone humming and being. Been like, whoa. I'm like, can. It's.

[Kendall Landriff]

They have their headphones in and they're like.

[Jordan Myron]

So that's singing. That's singing. That's actually singing.

[Kendall Landriff]

You know what I mean? There's always a girl who's, like, really good at singing, and she's like, kind of like, always trying to show it off but doesn't want to sing. Say that she's showing it off, and then she's like, I'm auditioning for the Voice.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And then she's like, I'm actually on the Voice.

[Kendall Landriff]

This happened to me multiple times at my school.

[Jordan Myron]

That's wild.

[Kendall Landriff]

The girls were like, I'm auditioning for the Voice. And I was like, I don't. I've never seen them on the Voice.

[Jordan Myron]

It doesn't make sense because you're from a really small town. It's not like you're from Chicago or something.

[Kendall Landriff]

No, because those people are probably actually on the Voice. I don't know. I was like, when did the Voice.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Come to our town, by the way? Okay, not to name drop. My friend won the Voice. It was my friend from New York, Madeline Jarmeau. And she literally. I was like, oh, yeah. Like, you know, she posted on Instagram or something, and I was like, oh, my God. She's like, in the top five people on the Voice or whatever. And then she won, and it was crazy.

[Kendall Landriff]

There's like, my high school on the Voice right now.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, really? So exciting.

[Kendall Landriff]

I don't know if she's been eliminated. So I had to say.

[Jordan Myron]

I was about to say. I do feel like you've been saying this for about one.

[Kendall Landriff]

No, I've started lying. I know a girl who's on the boy.

[Jordan Myron]

I don't know. I don't know if that's. See some of the voices still.

[Kendall Landriff]

Well, one of the people. It was actually funny because there were multiple. This story is becoming so convoluted. But there were. There were multiple people who were like, I'm gonna be on the Voice. And then I was like, you're literally lying straight Weird. What a weird lie. Because we will see when this is not true. She was one of those people that was like, I'm gonna. I am auditioning for the Voice. And I was kind of like, okay, Queen.

[Ryan Reynolds]

This didn't happen in my high school.

[Kendall Landriff]

Recently, I saw her on the Voice, and I was like, she wasn't lying.

[Jordan Myron]

Or she was at the time.

[Kendall Landriff]

I don't know. But I was like, wow, she really did get on the bus. She's amazing. Singer.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. In high school, you remember the American Idol people, like, I auditioned for American Idol, and it was like, oh, okay.

[Kendall Landriff]

You waited in line and then they told you to go. Told.

[Jordan Myron]

You know, I will say I went to high school with someone who was on my super sweet 16 on MTV, the birthday party show.

[Ryan Reynolds]

What?

[Kendall Landriff]

We know it.

[Ryan Reynolds]

That's. Yeah.

[Jordan Myron]

Wasn't invited.

[Kendall Landriff]

Wow.

[Jordan Myron]

She was much older. I think she was a senior when I was a freshman. There's, like, no reason why we would have known each other, but she was on the show.

[Kendall Landriff]

You were from a. You were from, like. You lived in Miami, though, and New Orleans and la. So I feel like actually cool stuff happened.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Kendall Landriff]

At your high school, the events that were like talk of the town were deeply embarrassing.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Like, what? It was like a barnyard dance.

[Kendall Landriff]

I mean, literally, yes, we did have a barn dance. That was kind of like the party. But then we also had this event that I think was a charity, so I'm in no way speaking down on it. It was very fun. But it was called Dancing with Our Stars, and it would be like, our dentist was, like, paired with.

[Ryan Reynolds]

That's awesome. Holy shit.

[Kendall Landriff]

And it was like they'd roll out a red carpet. There was like. And there's just so much.

[Jordan Myron]

I love that.

[Kendall Landriff]

There's so much simulation when you're in a small town where they're like, the news is coming, and we're having. But it's like, our local news. But then it'll be like parents with microphones that are not real being, like, interviewing people.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, my God. I love that.

[Kendall Landriff]

It was.

[Ryan Reynolds]

It's actually very fun, I think, Dancing with our Stars. Like, I want to do a reality show that's that. With the local dentist and, like, the. Like, how fun is that? That's so fun. Like, there's so many cool characters, too.

[Kendall Landriff]

And you can imagine how pissed I was as the YouTube sensation.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Are you kidding me?

[Kendall Landriff]

You have one actual star in your town that has not been invited to do this. But okay.

[Ryan Reynolds]

You were sort of like, in eighth grade when she does the Vlogs. Have you seen the movie Eighth Grade?

[Kendall Landriff]

Oh, my God, yes.

[Ryan Reynolds]

You were doing.

[Kendall Landriff]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

We're like, hey, what's up, guys?

[Jordan Myron]

I will say one thing that's really funny now is when we go back to Kendall's hometown, we'll see people out, and people from Kendall's high school will be like, oh, my God, it's so crazy to see you. You're, like, famous now. And Kendall always goes, no, I've always been famous.

[Ryan Reynolds]

You were like, well, I was when I was here too. That's so cute.

[Jordan Myron]

It's very fun.

[Kendall Landriff]

Next question.

[Jordan Myron]

Are you embarrassed that I said that?

[Kendall Landriff]

No. That I'm famous?

[Ryan Reynolds]

You're, like, literally fucking famous.

[Kendall Landriff]

But now it's so. I really would. I'm always like, I gotta get back to that confidence I had in high school.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, me too.

[Kendall Landriff]

Because I'm like. I'm now, like, I'm an idiot loser. I'm, like, so embarrassed. I'm like, oh, God.

[Jordan Myron]

I don't.

[Kendall Landriff]

I'm an absolute embarrassment. And I'm like, I had absolutely nothing going on. I see photos of myself in high school. I was hideous. I mean, I looked horrible. I hadn't washed my hair in 42 million years. And I just. Anytime I'd walk into a room, I was like, everyone's looking at me.

[Ryan Reynolds]

No, I feel like I was the best at improv. Freshman year of college. College, I had so much confidence. I mean, I wasn't good, but I just felt, like, the confidence that I had, I was like, I'll do anything.

[Jordan Myron]

Like, yeah, well, I grew up with a. They're just jealous of you, dad. So anyone that was not nice to me, anyone that was rude to me, anything, they're just jealous of you. So still, to this day, really, nothing hurts my feelings, because everything is viewed through that lens. I remember when I was a child, I was overweight. I would wear rolled up, limited to Sophies that said, like, cheer across the back.

[Kendall Landriff]

Were you on the cheer team?

[Jordan Myron]

Not cheering for anything other than a Subway sandwich. And I was like, I look so hot. I remember being around adults and, like, in my head thinking, like, it must be so hard for these adults to be around me right now because I'm so erotic. That's amazing. So sexual that they're probably having to be like, oh, my God, I Have to. I can't be weird. I have to try to, like, keep it inside. It's very wild. When I was younger, my bully got a bunch of people in school to call me Shamu.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, my God.

[Jordan Myron]

And that's so cliche. I know. And the teacher pulled me aside and was like, does that hurt your feelings? And I was like, why would that hurt my feelings? And she was like, well, because they're making fun of your weight. And I was like, I thought everyone was calling me Shamu because I'm so good at swimming. And I am so good at swimming.

[Ryan Reynolds]

That's incredible.

[Kendall Landriff]

In the most childlike way. If you ever bring up swimming, Jordan, at 30 years old, still be like, I'm really good at swimming. Well, I am. I'm really good at.

[Jordan Myron]

Well, I am. And I've had multiple captains tell me that.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Everyone knows how to swim, by the way. I do. When sometimes I. I have friends that'll be like, oh, I'm not a confident swimmer. And I'll be like, are you out of your mind? What do you mean you're not a com. Like, I feel so confident in the water. I'm like, I could swim anything. I could swim a Triassic. Should we all go swimming together? That's a great idea, honestly. By the way, goggles are back. I was me, and for my birthday, we dropped myself in daycare. We went to a pool, me and my wife, and we threw rings and used goggles to die for them. It was a delight. It was so, so fun.

[Jordan Myron]

I love.

[Kendall Landriff]

We love to be underwater. We really are like. We're thinking about getting our scuba license.

[Ryan Reynolds]

You should. Oh, but scuba scares me. I'm too terrified.

[Jordan Myron]

We're snorkelers.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Snorkeling is good. Have you seen the Deepest Breath? The documentary?

[Jordan Myron]

No.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, my God. It's about free divers. It's so scary.

[Jordan Myron]

Is it the one where the woman was murdered?

[Ryan Reynolds]

No. That sounds like every other documentary.

[Jordan Myron]

Well, I saw.

[Kendall Landriff]

They've got those, but no, I'm sure.

[Jordan Myron]

This is probably just an episode of 2020 I saw, but there was, like, a free diver woman who was very famous, and her coach, that was also her husband, I think, murdered her. Allegedly. Or they thought he murdered her. None of this probably is right. So don't quote me and don't sue me. Seriously, don't. Seriously, seriously don't.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Seriously don't.

[Jordan Myron]

How do you avoid drama when it seems to follow you naturally? You are the problem.

[Kendall Landriff]

The calls coming from inside the house.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. Yeah. That's like. I mean, then just don't be dramatic. Like, I feel, you know, don't be too, like, crazy. I feel like people do seek drama and then they are like, oh, my God, I'm dating this fucking crazy person. And it's like, well, maybe, maybe that's what you're attracting.

[Kendall Landriff]

I know. I also think maybe even if it feels like, well, I'm in all these friendships or relationships where the person does end up being insane. And I do think I'm being. Because I found myself in this before where I'm like, I have these friendships where I find out later, I'm like, wow, you've really. I've seen your true colors and it's terrifying. But even that is, you are. You are perpetuating that in some way. Like, something in you is like, let getting steamrolled, allowing yourself not to voice when you think things are weird or that you don't want to do. And then you end up in this heightened version with this heightened place with this person where they're just acting at their most insane self.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. I've sometimes advice I give on my show is like, people will be like, my friend is doing this crazy thing and, like, I'm ready to, like, drop them as a friend. And like, they'll be like this whole crazy drama and I'll be like, you know what? Just don't talk to them for a while. You don't need to have a Game of Thrones style season finale blowout in front of a cold stone creamery in order to differentiate with this person. Just like, maybe be busy next time they ask to hang out. Right. Like, it's okay to just fade away softly. And I think that's a good advice for everything. It's like, you don't need to have like some big confrontation moment and you're gearing up to it and you're telling all your friends you're gonna have this blowout. It's like, just actually move on. And that's like, maybe harder to do though.

[Jordan Myron]

Yeah. Just let the sun set on your friendship.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah, exactly. Right?

[Jordan Myron]

This is a long one.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Let's go.

[Jordan Myron]

I got a lot of feelings.

[Kendall Landriff]

Oh.

[Jordan Myron]

My girlfriend of almost two years has feelings for her best friend. I've known since the beginning that she used to have a bit of a crush on her before meeting me, and that wasn't really an issue for me. But recently it came out that the feelings are still very much there and a lot more significant than I thought. It came out after we briefly had a discussion about non monogamy and potentially opening up Our relationship. Something that I ended up deciding wasn't for me and that she realized she's interested in but is fine with monogamy if it's what I need. Some things happened with the friend during this period of discussion that, while not outright cheating, did lead to me being hurt and my trust being a bit broken. While I'm very aware that crushes happen in relationships and that you can't necessarily control your feelings for another person, and my girlfriend insists that these feelings don't affect how much she loves me or wants us to be together, this whole situation is really bothering me and putting strain on our relationship. This friend is super hot and outgoing and she recently started to explore her bisexual side since leaving a long term relationship with a man, which I think is making my girlfriend feel jealous that she can't be her first gay experience. We've discussed it at length and I know she feels guilt and shame for how it's making me feel, but I can't seem to move past my feelings of jealousy and inadequacy. See, how do you guys navigate this? Am I overreacting? I really don't want this to be a deal breaker, but I'm finding myself increasingly upset and hurt by the whole situation.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Whoa. I think either break up now or in six months. The choice is yours. It seems like it's like, okay, the conversation about polyamory that ended in me getting what I want, but it wasn't really what my girlfriend want. That reeks of, okay, this is not gonna last very long. Like, your girlfriend wants to be with other people maybe, and that's fine, but it seems like that's not what you want, so you can't be together anymore.

[Jordan Myron]

I think the hard thing is, does your girlfriend want polyamory or does your girlfriend want to hook up with her best friend? That's the big problem.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Right? Right.

[Jordan Myron]

You know what I mean? It all feels very serendipitous in the timing. I think polyamory is, you know, polyamory is a thing that two people decide on together, and I think that's great, whatever. But it feels like she just wants to hook up with this girl.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. I think it's also like polyamory feels like you need to have an expert level of communication from the get go in order for it to ever possibly try and be successful. You can't bully someone into polyamory. Right. That obviously doesn't work. I've seen people try to do it and the relationships always end immediately. But it's like if you're feeling uneasy about this. Now this conversation will be brought up again, especially if it's, like, clearly about her best friend. All that feels yucky.

[Kendall Landriff]

I think it's so hard because I never want to, you know, talk ill of open relationships or polyamory, because I think there's totally a place for it, and it works so great for some people. I think what's so hard? Like anything else, a lot of people do it who maybe shouldn't be doing it, and then it kind of makes a bad name, because there are some people that I'm like, you need to just. You need to go masturbate in the shower and then go to work. Like, what is wrong with you? Like, the need to be like. Like, I think people just get honestly horny and then are like, I need. What if I had nine girlfriends? And at any moment I could have sex?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Right?

[Kendall Landriff]

And it's like, well, yeah, but then you'd also have to have nine girlfriends. Once again, this, like, how much time do you people have? I don't understand. I think that sometimes is like, you're saying she just seems like she wants to sleep with this woman and then has this word now of open relationship and polyamory, that is kind of being weaponized a little bit, because to me, the best place to start, and I'm the professional in polyamorous. To me, the best reason to start being polyamorous, to have that conversation, is when you don't have a crush on someone maybe 100%. To be like, this would just be versus, like, having this driving force that's like, once my wife says yes, I get to bone Diane from the office.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Kendall Landriff]

Which feels bad.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Totally.

[Jordan Myron]

Yes, absolutely. I'm also like, this is not her best friend. I'm sorry. That's a controversial take. Kendall and I often have. But you don't want to have sex with your best friend.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. That's interesting.

[Jordan Myron]

I think that it's just there's something else going on there. Maybe they are technically your best of your friends.

[Kendall Landriff]

But I don't have any friends.

[Ryan Reynolds]

You have friendless and alone.

[Jordan Myron]

But I'm like, you don't want to. I don't want to have sex with my best friend. That, like, changes the dynamic. It's not a normal best friend dynamic. So I'm like, your partner is already in a weird situation. Also, this weird thing of being like, she's jealous that she's not her first gay experience. Weird weird. Red flag.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Big red flag.

[Jordan Myron]

Really weird. And you know what that brings us to one of our Segments, which is red flag, green flag, and today we're.

[Kendall Landriff]

Talking about red flags sound or something. So it feels red flag. Yay.

[Ryan Reynolds]

We love that.

[Jordan Myron]

Perfect. So we're gonna say what our red flags of the week are. I'll go first. Then Kendall, you can go.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Perfect.

[Jordan Myron]

And then, Miles, will you be good to go last?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Absolutely.

[Jordan Myron]

All right. Are you ready? My red flag. Flag of the week is ordering too much takeout. I'll say it.

[Ryan Reynolds]

How much is too much, though?

[Jordan Myron]

If you're ordering pickup, the limit does not exist. If you're ordering delivery. If you're ordering delivery more than once a week. And I don't want to hear it from anyone in the comments. If someone's like, I'm a single mom with. I don't. That's. I'm obviously not talking to you.

[Kendall Landriff]

We're never talking to the single mother.

[Jordan Myron]

I literally never talking about you negatively ever. I mean, if you're a normal single person in, like, their 20s, 30s, you are ordering delivery multiple times a week. To me, that's a red flag. I think you don't have enough time. Yeah, I think you don't have enough time in your relationship because you'd either be cooking or going to a restaurant or getting takeout. That's what I think.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Get in the kitchen.

[Jordan Myron]

That's my thing. Why are you getting so much delivery?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah, I mean, it's also just not a cost. Cost effective.

[Jordan Myron]

It's heinously expensive.

[Ryan Reynolds]

It's so expensive now.

[Jordan Myron]

Believably expensive. Especially, like, I used to get delivery more when I lived in New York. I feel like I used to get delivery in New York regularly, and it was so normal and affordable. Even with, like, a good over 20% tip in L. A. I feel like I will want to order two burritos. And it is 75.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, absolutely. It's crazy. And it's like, actually, we're just another fee.499 mystery fee percentage. And it's like, what are we talking about? By the way? Don't even get me started on pizza. Pizza is so expensive now.

[Jordan Myron]

It's wild.

[Kendall Landriff]

Did you live in New York?

[Ryan Reynolds]

I did live in New York because.

[Kendall Landriff]

I feel like we're used to the 99 cent. We're used to stopping by. Snack. A little snack to get for my walk home.

[Ryan Reynolds]

A little fried chicken for. For $2.99. On my way home, a little fried chicken breast. That's how I survived in New York. I ate fried chicken breast and, like, Chinese takeout that was $4.99 or whatever.

[Jordan Myron]

But a pizza, now, 27.99.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Insane.

[Jordan Myron]

A cheese pizza.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jordan Myron]

27.99.

[Kendall Landriff]

And really, and I will tell you, even three times a week, I'm like, okay. You know, that's honestly how I live. But to me, I got a financial advisor.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh.

[Kendall Landriff]

And I've been waiting to announce it.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I know, guys, it's here we shoot.

[Kendall Landriff]

Off for tax season. Nothing too crazy. But he was like, I remember this is a while ago, but he'd asked me, he's like, well, how much do you kind of like spend a month? And I like, said. And he was like, oh, okay. No, because I was like, embarrassed, you know, I was like, oh, you know, I shouldn't. I'm embarrassed. You know, I went out too much. I bought too many stupid things. And he was like, oh, no, no, that's not. A lot of my clients spend like 20k a month on delivery. And I was like, excuse me.

[Jordan Myron]

What they're doing B L D Breakfast, lunch, dinner, every day.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Psychotic. Why would you do that? That's like, honestly, I feel this way about first class planes sometimes. Like, okay, yeah, well, no, no, I don't fly first class ever. But I'm like, how much money would you have to have in order to do 20k a month of. That's crazy to me.

[Kendall Landriff]

That's insane.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. Also, it's just like, buy eggs.

[Jordan Myron]

That's what I'm saying, though. I'm like, if you're ordering delivery all the time, like, stop by the restaurant and pick it up. Like, you can't cook. Stop by the restaurant and pick it up.

[Ryan Reynolds]

You'll be surprised by boiling eggs and how delicious they are.

[Kendall Landriff]

Yes.

[Jordan Myron]

Get a salad kit.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, yeah.

[Jordan Myron]

Like relax, cook at home or go out and enjoy the restaurant. There are so many options. Do a meal delivery service.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Trader Joe's frozen meals are basically takeout.

[Jordan Myron]

There are so many options. But if you're doing delivery three, four, five, six, seven times a week, I'm like, get it in check financially, but also mentally.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah, I agree. I like that.

[Kendall Landriff]

All right. I've been trying to procrastinate because I didn't have an idea.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Here we go.

[Kendall Landriff]

So here it comes. And I want to preface this by saying I love dogs. And I think that they should.

[Ryan Reynolds]

This might be what mine is too, please.

[Kendall Landriff]

I don't know. Well, we'll see. Okay. They. They should. If it is, we'll tag team on it.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Okay.

[Kendall Landriff]

I think, you know, if there's an animal in a shelter, big or small, it should be adopted and cared for. And loved. Why do people own literal mooses in Los Angeles? These dogs are nine feet tall.

[Ryan Reynolds]

They're huge.

[Kendall Landriff]

It's always owned by the smallest woman wearing. Uggs. No judgment. I have them too, but just the. The smallest woman with a literal horse next to her that she has no control over. The dog is growling at my tiny Chihuahua, and I'm like, this thing is gonna kill me. I'm terrified of them. They're so huge. And I'm just. And I'm. There's nothing natural about that. You think something has been done to that dog to make it.

[Ryan Reynolds]

That you think it was genetically inhaled?

[Kendall Landriff]

I do. I think it was made in Monsanto.

[Ryan Reynolds]

They are sort of horses in a lot of ways. My wife wants us to get like a Great Dane for a second dog. And I'm like, where will it go? Where will it go? On the bed. We already have. We have a sheepdog, by the way. Already a big dog. Already a huge dog. She's like, I want to go bigger, and I want a corgi for the second dog, which I don't even know we're getting a second.

[Jordan Myron]

Okay.

[Kendall Landriff]

Queen.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Okay. I love a little corgi, but, yeah, I. A big dog. You know, I've got a sheepdog, and it looks bigger than it is because it's fluffy. Sure.

[Jordan Myron]

Our dog is the same way. She's small, but she looks bigger than she is because of the hair.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Exactly. Right?

[Jordan Myron]

Yeah.

[Kendall Landriff]

I just think. I don't even know if. Because I love a big dog when I meet it. I love all dogs. I want. I don't want it to be twisted, but I. I will say there's a can. There's a pattern of people who own big dogs. Not even just own, but who only own big dogs.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Kendall Landriff]

We're like, I am a big dog person. I'm like, what does that mean? You're like, rolling up farm.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. Right, right.

[Jordan Myron]

What do you.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Kendall Landriff]

And I think somebody like, so it'll protect me. And I'm like, you live in yourself?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. From bears.

[Kendall Landriff]

Yeah. Right.

[Ryan Reynolds]

That's crazy.

[Kendall Landriff]

So that's my red flag, because there's a woman, Very nice. In our neighborhood, she has this huge, massive dog, and every time I see it, it comes around the corner and I'm like, ah. Because I'm like, it's a. I assume it's a deadly wild animal.

[Ryan Reynolds]

That's. Yeah, I like that a lot. So mine is also dog related, and it is based off an experience that I had. You know what? It is? Okay. Dogs aren't People.

[Kendall Landriff]

Yep.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Right. Dog know people. So if a dog does something crazy, that's the owner's fault? Probably.

[Jordan Myron]

Yes.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Right. Or if your dog. I saw a guy have a full baby level tantrum at the Ace Hotel in Palm Springs because he had what can. What was a puff ball.

[Jordan Myron]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

On the seat where the food was. And the guy was like, hey, we're just. You can't have a dog. Like, already you're pushing it. Having the dog in here. We're not saying anything because obviously, maybe it's a service dog.

[Kendall Landriff]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I don't know. But, you know, I don't know about that.

[Kendall Landriff]

We'll never know.

[Ryan Reynolds]

We'll never know. Don't know. There was no indication. Yeah. From any. Anything.

[Jordan Myron]

Be service.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And it was. If I'm radiant. And who knows? Am I to say? I don't know legally or in the YouTube comments. But the dog was. And he. So he was like, excuse me, we just fled la. He went into a full baby level tantrum. I'm like, dude, put your dog just on the ground next to you. It's.

[Jordan Myron]

I also think it's really selfish.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yes.

[Jordan Myron]

Because I think people are always like, well, I should be allowed to have my dog in the mall. I'm like, your dog does not want to be in the mall.

[Ryan Reynolds]

No.

[Jordan Myron]

That is so inconsiderate to everyone around you. But also to you, your dog. You act like you love your dog so much, but then you're like, oh, I'm gonna bring my dog to this bar at night. Well, I'm like, your dog wants to be at home sleeping on your couch or like, running around in a park with you, like, on leash. Like, your dog wants to do dog stuff. Your dog doesn't want to go to the movie theater and see Den of Thieves too. Like, that's just the reality of, you.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Know, dog, like, outside.

[Kendall Landriff]

Yeah.

[Jordan Myron]

And you know what dog, like, sometime inside. But inside, where it knows.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. Inside where it knows.

[Jordan Myron]

Inside where it knows. Not inside. She's factory.

[Ryan Reynolds]

No.

[Jordan Myron]

Not inside the doctor's office. Not inside an airplane.

[Ryan Reynolds]

No. Certainly not. But this is. Yeah. Baby level event. And just having a full. I mean, also my red flag. Yelling. Almost yelling. Almost. No matter what. Unless you're yelling. Hey, watch out. I think yelling is a no.

[Kendall Landriff]

No.

[Jordan Myron]

Sure.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Almost ever.

[Kendall Landriff]

And you have a dog.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I have a sheep dog. Right.

[Kendall Landriff]

I'm sorry.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I have a big old sheepdog. Very friendly, very sweet, loves everybody. But when I'm out in public, he. I have the leash and I'm holding it here, and I'm making sure that anyone. There's a dog over there. I don't know that dog. I don't know if it's going to freak out. We're keeping my dog over here because I just am like, I don't want to cause a problem with other people's dogs.

[Kendall Landriff]

Well, that's kind because that's another red flag of mine. Well, now I'm just pissed off when someone walks up to my dog who's a literal bitch. My dog is horrible. I mean, I love her more than life itself. She's not made to socialize.

[Jordan Myron]

Oh, sure, she loves people.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. A lot of dogs do not mix to touch other dogs the way that we're touching other dogs.

[Kendall Landriff]

Sprint up with their 400 pound dog that's made to live in Alaska and work.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Kendall Landriff]

And they're like, she's friendly. And I'm like, okay, I don't. My dog is horrible.

[Jordan Myron]

She might be friendly, but I'm not. I'll mace you.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I had an insane experience. This is. I was at this. I was at a hotel, right? We're fleeing the fires through the smoke. Didn't want my son to breathe it in. I'm at the hotel, my wife and my son are. They're like, my wife put my son to bed upstairs, so they're sleeping in the bed. I was like, you know what, I'm gonna go down the hotel, do some work on my laptop. And I'm sitting there, this dog kisses me on the mouth. I'm like, oh, that's sweet. You know, Dog jumps up on my lap, kisses me in the mouth. And I like dogs. So I was like, oh, that's sweet. And they're like, oh, sorry, right? The dog maybe has a leash, but it's just running around, right? Who knows? This dog's doing whatever. And then this woman comes up and she's holding her dog on a leash and she's sort of standing nearby and she goes, oh, you have a doggie. The dog run, rushes her, bark, bark, bark. Starts going after her dog, right? The woman so shocked, stumble, stumble, falls back, hits her head on the glass door, goes unconscious. And I'm sitting there and then the family here and the dog, and then everyone rushing over and the son of the kissing dog grabs the dog, pulls it over and is like. And goes. He's just detective for no reason. She's a detective for no reason. He's screaming, right? And then the EMTs come, they're checking her out. And then the general manager comes over and it's like, Asking the family of the kissing dog what's going on? Like, right in the kissing dog. They're like, what's going on? Like, was your dog unleashed? And they go, yes, definitely. And I'm sitting there, I'm going, certainly fucking not. And I'm the only witness to this. And I have. And so the woman, at this point, the dog kissed me. So we had had some rapport, but now they're lying. And so the woman looks at me and is like. She's like, he was unleashed, right? And I was like, why would she do that?

[Kendall Landriff]

You're like, I wasn't saying anything.

[Jordan Myron]

You gotta tell the pregnant woman.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I know. I was like. I was literally like. I just shook my head. And she goes, no, she was on a leash, right? And I was like, you guys seem like really nice people, but your dog was not on a leash.

[Jordan Myron]

Is that what you said?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yes.

[Jordan Myron]

I love that.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I was like, you see my. Because I was like, you. You know, it's not a big deal. Just be honest. Like, you know, because this woman is going to the hospital, you know, because the EMTs, they stretched, put her in a stretcher, and she went out. And then I've, like, testified. And then later I testified, the general manager was like, can you wait? Written statement? And I'm like, yeah, that's fine. Like, whatever.

[Kendall Landriff]

When people panic.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Crazy.

[Kendall Landriff]

The way they lie is so funny. Because as if there's no cameras. No, of course this will not be looked into. And you see it all the time, where people even go so far, they're like, like, asking you, what. What did you see? We'll check the cameras.

[Ryan Reynolds]

He.

[Kendall Landriff]

He was on. She was on. Check the cameras. It's like, I've seen that so many times where I'm like, what's your plan, queen?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Like, what are we going to. I don't know, but it was. It was crazy. Very eventful. And I got the chocolate cake, and it was lava cake. They brought it out fully frozen. And then I said, I'm so sorry. I was like, I'm really sorry to do this. Like, this is like, I can't. I didn't even know what to do with. I was like, I can't eat this. Like, can we. Is it possible to make another? Or whatever? And he goes, oh, yeah, I'm really sorry about that. And he took it back, and then he came back, and I was like, oh, it was lava cake. It's now cooked, and I'm eating it, but it's like it was just frozen before.

[Kendall Landriff]

Truly insane.

[Jordan Myron]

This is The Ace Hotel.

[Ryan Reynolds]

No, this is a different hotel. I shall remain nameless because I'm in a lawsuit.

[Jordan Myron]

Because the kissing dog is suing you.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Exactly right. Wow.

[Jordan Myron]

All right, well, those are some great red flags. Thank you so much. And we'll wrap it up by saying, yeah, your girlfriend's in love with her best friend. You absolutely need to dump her, unfortunately. I know you don't want to, but you need to.

[Kendall Landriff]

You'll be so happy you did. I dated a girl for a while who was. The whole time was like, I'm in love with this guy. And I was, like, 18. You know, I didn't write a note. But at the moment, it is easy to rationalize it. In the moment, you're like, thank you for being vulnerable and telling me. And we will work through this. And this is normal. And you can find anything on the Internet that will tell you something's normal.

[Jordan Myron]

Yes, I can. People that were like, I don't like you. And I was like, I hear you and I see you, and I love you.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I love you, actually.

[Kendall Landriff]

But you'll be so happy. I mean, a normal relationship. I mean, I don't want to speak for you, but I feel for. I'm not ever concerned you're cheating on me.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Never. Oh, my God. Can you imagine? How could it be horrible? It's truly horrible. People. Yeah. Like, you see on the Internet, people are just like. Yeah. And there's, like, cheating and horrible drama. And it's like, your relationship should just be easy. It should just be carefree. It should feel like family. Yeah.

[Jordan Myron]

And you should argue regularly about dumb stuff.

[Ryan Reynolds]

We argue all the time. Yeah. Me, my lovely wife, and that's it.

[Kendall Landriff]

Me and my lovely wife. We gotta have her on after this.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, please.

[Kendall Landriff]

She's gonna be like, it's not good.

[Ryan Reynolds]

She's adhesive.

[Jordan Myron]

He's actually a squatter. He's not my husband.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Squatter.

[Jordan Myron]

I can't get him out of the house.

[Kendall Landriff]

Wow.

[Jordan Myron]

Well, Miles, thank you so much for joining us today. This has been a wonderful treat. And you know what? We always do a couple of the week.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jordan Myron]

And I'm gonna say this week, our couple of the week is you and your wife.

[Ryan Reynolds]

No way. Oh, that's nice.

[Jordan Myron]

I'm gonna say it.

[Kendall Landriff]

I disagree. I think it's you and your PC.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, me and my gaming PC. Also a good couple. An iconic couple.

[Jordan Myron]

Yeah. Vote in the comments whether you think it's Miles and his wife or Miles and his PC.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah. Two iconic couples, for sure.

[Jordan Myron]

Two very famous couples. All right, well, tell the fans where they can reach you.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, yeah. You can listen to Perfect Person anywhere. You get podcasts. Also making YouTube videos recently and that's been fun. So check those out.

[Jordan Myron]

Incredible. All right. Well, as always, I've been Jordan.

[Kendall Landriff]

I'm Kendall. We've never done that before.

[Jordan Myron]

We've never done that before.

[Kendall Landriff]

I honestly don't think we should.

[Ryan Reynolds]

So funny. As always. As always. Always. And it's a new thing.

[Jordan Myron]

As always, something new. We've always been those two people.

[Kendall Landriff]

We've always been Kendall and Jordan. And we have always been here, which is also not true.

[Jordan Myron]

New studio.

[Kendall Landriff]

Once again, thank you, Spotify, for letting us film here. You're absolutely listening on Spotify. You don't need to jump in. You've done enough. I'm just kidding.

[Ryan Reynolds]

We're.

[Kendall Landriff]

We're at the Spotify offices. If you're listening on Spotify, make sure to rate and review or anywhere you get your podcast. It really helps us out. And we are also on YouTube if you want to watch. And we're on Patreon, where we got a bunch of fun stuff. We're about to record a 30 minute minisode that will be on Patreon today, so we look forward to seeing you there. And thank you so much for being here.