54: Should You Dump Your Embarrassing Partner?

Summary

Podcast Summary: Happy Wife Happy Life Episode 54: Should You Dump Your Embarrassing Partner?

Hosts: Kendahl Landreth and Jordan Myrick
Release Date: March 2, 2025
Duration: Approximately 63 minutes

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Introduction

In Episode 54 of Happy Wife Happy Life, hosts Kendahl Landreth and Jordan Myrick delve into the sensitive and often humorous topic of embarrassment within romantic relationships. As two unqualified yet deeply in love comedians, Kendahl and Jordan explore whether an embarrassing partner is a deal-breaker or something couples can navigate together.

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Main Discussion: Embarrassment in Relationships

The episode kicks off with Kendahl expressing her rare experience with embarrassment:

Kendahl [01:07]: "I'll be honest, I don't feel embarrassed very often."

Contrastingly, Jordan shares a more relatable struggle:

Jordan [01:08]: "I have a lot of embarrassment about my high school before I was 20 years."

The conversation pivots to defining what constitutes embarrassment in their lives, highlighting personal thresholds and experiences. Kendahl categorizes embarrassment as stemming from "really done something bad," whereas Jordan reflects on past actions that now feel cringe-worthy.

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Personal Stories: Embarrassing Moments

1. The Death Valley Fart Incident

One of the most memorable stories revolves around a trip to Death Valley:

Jordan [04:43]: "We were in this trinket store in Salt Lake City, and I farted really loud. It was like, I really didn't think it was gonna be loud, and it just really was."

Kendahl recounts the aftermath where her uncontrollable gas left Jordan in tears due to the embarrassment:

Jordan [05:08]: "I was so embarrassed. I just did it."

Despite Kendahl's initial indifference, the incident underscores how seemingly minor embarrassments can strain relationships, especially when one partner feels mortified.

2. Super Bowl Embarrassments

Inspired by recent Super Bowl events, Kendahl and Jordan discuss public figures like Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift, juxtaposing their personal anecdotes with celebrity mishaps:

Jordan [08:33]: "Viva Las Vegas was bad, which is what Viva Vegas canceled."

They reflect on how public embarrassments, even minor ones, can affect personal perceptions of relationships and partnerships.

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Segment: Red Flags and Green Flags

In their regular segment, Red Flag, Green Flag, Kendahl and Jordan present indicators that signal either potential issues or positive traits in a partner.

Green Flags:

• Jordan's Green Flag [14:32]: Overly intense air fresheners in a partner’s car symbolize responsibility and care, despite causing nausea.

  Jordan: "It is a symbol of responsibility. It is a symbol that you have your shit together."

• Kendahl's Green Flag [16:39]: Preferring dark meat chicken over white meat indicates better taste and thoughtfulness.

  Kendahl: "If you like dark meat chicken over white meat chicken, I think you have better taste."

Red Flags:

• Kendahl's Red Flag [20:58]: The overuse of the word "fine" in conversations hints at underlying issues and poor communication.

  Kendahl: "Why is nothing else going on? Why are you just fine?"

• Jordan's Red Flag [21:54]: Excessive fascination with AI-generated content, such as Pomeranians on runways, signaling disregard for authenticity.

  Jordan: "If I see one more AI-generated video of a Pomeranian walking on a runway in a trench coat... That's a red flag for me."

This segment offers listeners practical insights into evaluating their relationships by identifying behaviors that may either strengthen or undermine their connections.

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Listener Q&A and Stories

The hosts engage with their audience by addressing listener-submitted stories about embarrassing relationship moments. They discuss the diversity of such experiences, ranging from childhood antics to adult mishaps.

Highlighted Listener Stories:

1. Fifth Grade Crush Note [53:56]: A listener shares about leaving an anonymous love poem for a crush, leading to ridicule, but Kendahl and Jordan reassure that early-life embarrassments are commonplace and not something to dwell upon.

2. Sushi Date Vomit [54:14]: A listener recounts vomiting during a sushi date, which Kendahl and Jordan label as genuinely embarrassing yet manageable, emphasizing that such incidents don’t have to define a relationship.

   Jordan [54:26]: "Throwing up is embarrassing. It’s embarrassing."

3. Meeting Partner’s Grandpa [58:31]: An awkward interaction with a partner's grandfather results in an embarrassing yet endearing moment, highlighting the challenges of first impressions with extended family.

These narratives illustrate the hosts' approach to handling embarrassment with humor and understanding, reinforcing that such moments are natural and survivable within relationships.

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Strategies for Overcoming Embarrassment

Throughout the episode, Kendahl and Jordan offer advice on mitigating embarrassment in relationships:

• Embracing Vulnerability: Encouraging partners to show their true selves, including embarrassing traits, fosters deeper connections.

  Jordan [40:33]: "If you don’t fart in front of your partner, something is deeply wrong with your relationship."

• Effective Communication: Advocating for open dialogue about feelings and embarrassing incidents rather than suppressing emotions.

  Kendahl [29:08]: "If you’ve done something bad, apologize and let go of the shame."

• Humor and Acceptance: Using humor to diffuse embarrassing situations and accepting each other's imperfections.

  Kendahl [44:44]: "This is a green flag overall."

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Conclusion and Final Thoughts

As the episode wraps up, Kendahl and Jordan reflect on their discussions, emphasizing that while embarrassment is an inherent part of relationships, how couples handle it can determine the strength and longevity of their partnership.

Kendall [62:05]: "None of these stories were that embarrassing, so I want to do another embarrassment episode where y'all give us genuinely embarrassing stories for us to dissect and determine if they're embarrassing."

They encourage listeners to embrace their embarrassing moments as opportunities for growth and bonding, closing with a lighthearted promise of future episodes dedicated to uncovering more truly embarrassing tales.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Kendahl on Personal Embarrassment Threshold:

  "I don't feel embarrassed very often." [01:07]

• Jordan on High School Embarrassments:

  "I have a lot of embarrassment about my high school before I was 20 years." [01:08]

• Kendall on Dark Meat Preference:

  "If you like dark meat chicken over white meat chicken, I think you have better taste." [16:39]

• Kendall on the Overuse of "Fine":

  "Why is nothing else going on? Why are you just fine?" [20:58]

• Jordan on AI-Generated Content Red Flag:

  "If I see one more AI-generated video of a Pomeranian walking on a runway in a trench coat... That's a red flag for me." [21:54]

• Jordan on Farting as a Green Flag:

  "If you don't fart in front of your partner, something is deeply wrong with your relationship." [40:33]

• Kendall on Apologizing for Bad Behavior:

  "If you’ve done something bad, apologize and let go of the shame." [29:08]

• Kendall on Future Embarrassment Episodes:

  "I want to do another embarrassment episode where y'all give us genuinely embarrassing stories for us to dissect and determine if they're embarrassing." [62:05]

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Final Notes

Episode 54 of Happy Wife Happy Life offers a candid and humorous exploration of embarrassment in relationships. Through personal anecdotes, expert advice, and listener interactions, Kendahl and Jordan provide a relatable discourse on navigating the awkward moments that inevitably arise when two imperfect people come together. Their blend of comedy and sincerity creates an engaging narrative, encouraging listeners to embrace vulnerability and foster open communication within their romantic endeavors.

Transcript

[A]

You don't wake up dreaming of McDonald's fries.

[B]

You wake up dreaming of McDonald's hash browns.

[A]

McDonald's breakfast comes first.

[B]

Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile. I don't know if you knew this, but anyone can get the same Premium Wireless for $15 a month plan that I've been enjoying. It's not just for celebrities. So do like I did and have one of your assistant's assistants switch you to Mint Mobile today. I'm told it's super easy to [e-mail] Switch upfront payment of $45 for 3 month plan, equivalent to $15 per month required intro rate, first 3 months only, then full price plan options available, taxes and fees, extra fee, full [e-mail] welcome to Happy Wife, Happy Life. We're your hosts. I'm Kendall Landriff.

[A]

And I'm Jordan Myrick.

[B]

And we are two incredibly unqualified but.

[A]

Deeply in love comedians who are here to help you with all things relationships. And on today's episodes, we're talking dating and embarrassment. I'll be honest, I don't feel embarrassed very often.

[B]

Really?

[A]

I don't. I really don't. In general, for me, it's kind of like something's embarrassing if I've like, really done something bad and that's embarrassing.

[B]

I have a lot of embarrassment about my, like, high school before I was 20 years. I feel like I did a lot of things that I look back on and I'm like, that was really embarrassing.

[A]

Yeah. I don't. But don't you just feel like I was a child so it didn't matter?

[B]

I mean, I don't feel about embarrassed about anything I did previous to like my sophomore year of high school, but I feel like when I was 19. I'm still embarrassed by things I did at 19.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

Wait, before we start, can I say something?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay, here we go. Podo kyatsuto a Yoko So. And that means welcome to our podcast.

[A]

I love that Japanese. I love that Kendall's learning Japanese. If you didn't already know, Kendall is doing so incredibly well with it. So impressive.

[B]

I have to be honest, we did cut out a part where I just tried to say it like eight times and couldn't.

[A]

No, we didn't.

[B]

I practice.

[A]

We didn't.

[B]

The reason I literally was like, cut that I have starting and you. Did you not hear me this morning? All morning I was going.

[A]

I think I just assumed you were practicing your Japanese. I wasn't thinking, like, that's a secret for me. Later, I was like, I got a.

[B]

Surprise for them with being able to say that I love it, but podcast is a hard word. Podo, podo quesoto. It's like a hard word.

[A]

I couldn't say it. I'm serious. No.

[B]

Back to embarrassment. I'm sorry. I just had to say welcome to the podcast because people probably were like, why didn't they welcome us? And I wanted.

[A]

And you wanted to do it.

[B]

Like, our Japanese viewers were like, what? They never say welcome.

[A]

Hey, listen, I'm always trying to branch out to other markets, so I think this is perfect. And you really are crushing it with your Japanese.

[B]

Thank you for letting me practice. Of course. In terms of embarrassment. Yeah. I feel like I was embarrassed by things that I did. Like, for example, let me say what I'm thinking of. When I was 18 years old, I released a 15 minute YouTube video that was entitled My Coming Out Story. And I had me talking in it. It was very highly produced. Like, I had lights set up, my camera. Like, I had a back. I was in my dad's office. I did a backdrop, and I had people from my high school come and reenact moments. So it was like, as I was saying it, they were reenacting it.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

And I posted this and this at a time where I did not have followers on any platform. So this was in my head. It was for YouTube because I was like this. I was always like, what's gonna go viral? Like, this will go viral. Like, I've seen coming out stories go viral. Mine did not. But the reality was, who was watching? It was like, every person in my hometown's parents. And I feel deeply embarrassed by that every day and wish I hadn't done it.

[A]

I think that's fun. I think they probably watched it and.

[B]

Thought it was sweet or quite the opposite.

[A]

Or they were all very homophobic. Well, sure. But then who cares what they think? You know what I mean? They probably watched it and they were like, this is very cute.

[B]

Oh, yeah. But I feel like anyone who came out, like, especially if you came out young, you have a year. That was just really embarrassing where you look back and you're like, I was so cringy because I was so obsessed with the fact I was gay. I thought I was the first gay person that ever.

[A]

Oh, I mean, yeah, everybody has that.

[B]

For sure, but embarrassment in a relationship? Come on, Jordan. I am famously an embarrassing person. There must be something I've done that's made you embarrassed.

[A]

Not that I can think of.

[B]

What about Death Valley?

[A]

No, that was funny.

[B]

Do you Want to tell them what happened there?

[A]

Do you want to tell them? I would never bring that up because I didn't think you would want to talk about it, but I don't mind.

[B]

We've talked about your contact dermatitis on your vagina, Kendall. We have the viewers.

[A]

Great, then. So one time a while ago, a long time ago, when we first started dating, our first trip together, Kendall went to Death Valley with me and my best friend Colin and his partner Andrew.

[B]

But it needs to be reminded that this was the first time I'd really met them.

[A]

Yeah. And Andrew was also nudating Colin because Colin started dating Andrew the same time that I started dating Kendall. And we all got a hotel room and, like, we had Dairy Queen earlier in the day, and I think that's probably what it was. And then Kendall proceeded to just fart so bad in the hotel room non stop, to the point that it was, like, a truly noxious fume.

[B]

No, it, like, wasn't funny.

[A]

Scared. It, like, wasn't a joke.

[B]

No, it, like, wasn't funny. It, like, started as funny and then it, like, really wasn't funny. And at a point, I was crying because I was so embarrassed. And there was a point where, like, just, like, I can't even express. No one was laughing, you guys. Like, it wasn't funny. I was, like, crying and it smelled so bad.

[A]

And then at one point, Kendall was like, I'm just gonna go to the bathroom. And we were all like, okay. And then she got up and she started to walk to the bathroom, but then she stopped, and she was like, I can't stop farting. And she was standing directly into the air conditioning. And, like, you know how a hotel air conditioning is where it just, like, blows out from that machine and so kind of was just farting into it and farts were blowing all over the room.

[B]

And, like, once again, no one was laughing. Like, I was really upset. I was so embarrassed. Also, like, it was my first time meeting them, but we'd only been dating a couple months, like. But to say you weren't embarrassed when that was happening for me, that's insane.

[A]

That's what I'm saying. I don't think that much stuff is embarrassing. I am embarrassed of, like, maybe bad things that I've done. Like, if there's something where it's like, I hurt someone's feelings or whatever, I am embarrassed of negative behaviors that I have potentially, like, perpetrated in the past.

[B]

What about, like, when we were in Salt Lake City?

[A]

I wasn't embarrassed. I was Infuriated once again.

[B]

I can't. I'm embarrassed to have brought this up. This is yet another farting story on my behalf.

[A]

It was just so not cool. We were. You were not being a girls girl in that moment. We were in a trinket store in Salt Lake City with Blake, our producer, and his husband for a Real Housewives with Salt Lake City girls weekend, where we did a bunch of the things that they did on the show and tell everyone what happened.

[B]

Well, we were in this. Oh, man. We were in this, like, trinket store, and I farted really loud. It was like, I really didn't. This makes it sound like I'm, like, farting all the time, you guys. I'm a lady. I am very sophisticated.

[A]

Tell the story.

[B]

I did not think it was gonna be loud, and it just really was. And it was loud to the point where, like, it was really embarrassing. Like, it was really, really embarrassing.

[A]

I didn't think it was.

[B]

And within half, like, 0.2 seconds, a millisecond. I mean, I farted. Say this.

[A]

I know.

[B]

A second I farted, and then I got so embarrassed. So immediately. And I instinctually, like, I did not think about doing this. It just came out. I went, jordan. And then I immediately went, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

[A]

She went, jordan. And then walks in and said, I'm so sorry I did that. I'm so sorry I did that.

[B]

I'm so sorry. I don't know why. I don't know why I did it. It was like, I got so genuinely embarrassed, and it just happened. I don't know. I was so fucked up. I would have been so mad if you did that to me. It was so mean. It was so mean. I really did. I was just so embarrassed.

[A]

It was so rude. It felt hurtful. I was scared. I didn't like it.

[B]

It was really funny, though. Honestly, though. So in that moment, I guess I didn't embarrass you. I embarrassed myself.

[A]

Yeah. With a lack of care for me.

[B]

Yeah. So. But I know a lot of people who struggle with feeling embarrassment towards their partner.

[A]

Well, I'll say this whole episode was inspired. We were supposed to do a different episode today, but the super bowl was this past weekend when we're filming this, and I saw so many people talking about how Taylor Swift should feel so embarrassed because of Travis Kelce being, like, honored to have President Trump here after Trump said all this bad stuff about Taylor Swift. And then also now people are like, oh, I guess it's revealed that, like, maybe Travis Kelce is a Republican and conservative and, like, maybe voted for Trump, which wouldn't feel like a huge surprise to me, but I guess other people felt surprised by that. I have no clue. But I'm just like, that, yeah, that's so embarrassing. And I was like, we have to do an episode about embarrassment and dating.

[B]

Yeah. Well, I can't believe, like, no matter what happened at the super bowl, nothing to me is more embarrassing than last year at the super bowl when Travis Kelce screamed Viva Las Vegas over and over again. Like, after that moment, I felt like we moved on so fast from that.

[A]

And we shouldn't have.

[B]

And in the deep depths of the night, when I close my eyes and can't sleep, that is still what's ringing through my fucking ears.

[A]

You bring it up a lot.

[B]

Because we don't talk about it. We're like, Travis, Cassie. And I'm still just like, thinking about Viva Las Vegas.

[A]

It was really bad. And it went on. We watched it again because, you know those things in your mind, like, you're like, oh, yeah, that was bad. But, like, probably wasn't as bad if I, like, went back and watched it. We watched it again. It's worse after this happened.

[B]

It's worse.

[A]

It's like, it's worse even remember than you remember it being Viva.

[B]

And then you go, viva, Viva.

[A]

Well, that's the part about it is that there are so many pauses in it where you think it's done and then it just keeps going. It's like, absolutely awful. And can you imagine your boyfriend saying something good about someone who said a bunch of bad stuff about you and weird, perverted stuff about your body.

[B]

Insane. Insane. I. It is insane. So I find him to be just very. I mean, the Chiefs in general. I'm like, what? How are we? I'm just not. I don't care about football, though. So.

[A]

No, but, like, change your name. Like, what's wrong with you? Change your name. You're nasty. Viva Las Vegas was bad, which is what Viva Vegas canceled.

[B]

I'm sure there's like a. A female content creator with 20,000 viewers who people like, she's getting canceled because she did a brand deal with a small business who. Whose ex owner actually, like, had a Pomeranian that was bre. And then I'm like, but the Chiefs were just being like, that's fine. You know what I mean?

[A]

Yeah. It's literally so wild.

[B]

Every. Just forget about it. It's like, what?

[A]

It's so wild. I hate it. I Hate them. I. I don't like Patrick Mahomes because I don't like his wife. I don't really like Taylor Swift. I just don't.

[B]

But I also hate. I'm sorry, I hate because I was. I didn't watch the super bowl, but I watched all the interviews because I'm kind of there for the drama. You know what I mean?

[A]

Sure.

[B]

And I hate when men or women honestly get upset and then act like they, like, have dissociated. It's one thing to truly dissociate, but to, like, kind of put on a show like, you can't even bring yourself to talk about something. And I have to put myself in their shoes that I'm like, to me, it's insane to get upset about football because I truly don't care about it. Could never. But I have to understand, these people do this for a living. It's all they do. They practice since they were a child to do this, and this is really important to them. So that aside, to lose the super bowl, and then it's an interview with Travis Kelsey, and he can't even, like, look at the interviewer in the eyes, and he's like, I just. I can't. I, like, he can't even say anything because he's so distraught. And I'm, like, pretending to be distraught. Maybe that's what it is. Is so embarrassing.

[A]

Well. And you know what? I'll tell you, I haven't lost the super bowl, but I've done a lot of bad improv shows, which is way worse. It's way worse. Doing a bad improv show is much more embarrassing than losing the super bowl. And I've never been unable to look people in the eye after that.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So, like, relax. But also, is Taylor Swift going to break up with him?

[B]

I don't know. I feel like they're not even real people. I'm sorry.

[A]

I thought.

[B]

I mean, though, like, do they even have conversations? It's kind of how I feel about, like, I don't know, Jay Z and Beyonce, where I'm like, they're not calling each other, being like, hey, just like, checking in. Like, can you bring in the Farm Fresh order into the house? Like, they don't speak to each other.

[A]

Just to clarify, Farm Fresh is like a CSA that I use. It's like, really specifically.

[B]

Is that not a thing every couple has?

[A]

No, it's like a farm share subscription where they, like, deliver produce to your house. Just like, normal. Like, a normal person would say, like, groceries. But, Kendall, we're Kind of so different from that that Kendall forgot about the word groceries.

[B]

Sorry, sorry. That was, that was embarrassing.

[A]

I think that if he had won the super bowl, he would have proposed to us.

[B]

A lot of people think that.

[A]

I do. I think it was like if he wins, we do a proposal. If he, he loses, I don't know. She dumps him and then releases a new album.

[B]

Why would she even want to get proposed there? Because everyone there hated her, didn't they? They like booed Taylor Swift cuz they were so upset by her being there. Cuz they're all like toxic masculinity freaks, I guess.

[A]

I don't know what I will say.

[B]

I'm sorry. I don't know how to say this in a non offensive way. Not to scare you, Jordan, but I don't know how to talk about this. What was he wearing? And this brings me to something I need to talk about. The way straight men are dressing right now. It's. I'm all for freedom of expression, but ever so often I see someone like Travis Kelsey where I'm like, you are the biggest toxic masculinity guy ever. Why are you dressed like you're about to go on stage with NSync? Do you know what I mean?

[A]

Sure. Like, yeah, I, I think it's, you know, it's so hard because it's this line of like, I think that straight cis men should be able to do less masculine 100% and that should be more normalized. They should be able to do whatever they want. But also sometimes when you see a straight. This man who especially, you know, is bad.

[B]

That's what I mean.

[A]

And he like has on a pearl necklace and like has his nails painted and he's like, feminism is when. And you're like, excuse me.

[B]

That's what I mean. I think any men should be able to dress however. Well, I guess not any men. Travis Kelsey. I have some.

[A]

You say no. What should Travis Kelsey be allowed to wear?

[B]

What?

[A]

What should Travis Kelsey be allowed to wear?

[B]

Football jersey and no pants.

[A]

Got it.

[B]

But do you know what I mean? You see a guy that like talks over every woman they meet is an asshole, probably votes for Donald Trump, and then they're wearing like one earring that shouldn't be allowed. You have to earn that. You know what I mean?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Look, I know in the grand scheme of things I'm saying is kind of offensive, but here, hear me out.

[A]

Earn your earring.

[B]

Earn your earring.

[A]

Hashtag, earn your earring. You have to be a real ally to wear One singular earring. As a straight and. Sorry, that's just what I think.

[B]

That's how it is. Okay, before we get into the topic, we got to do our segment. Red Flag. Green Flag.

[A]

Red flag, Green flag. And this week, we've both brought one red flag and one green flag.

[B]

Whoa. Okay. Do you want to start? Why don't we start with green flags?

[A]

Okay, great. You go first.

[B]

Okay. The green flag I have come up with. This is what I think is a green flag. When I get into someone's car and the air freshener is so intense that it makes me nauseous to the point of having to vomit, that's a green flag.

[A]

To me, that's a green flag.

[B]

Yes. I. And Jordan and I have little tips about this because I love an air freshener. To me, it's like, you clean your house, you light a candle, you clean your car, you put an air freshener in. It is a symbol of responsibility. It is a symbol that you have your shit together. And I know it smells like ass, and I know it gives you a headache, and it gives me a headache, too, but it hangs on the mirror to show that I did what I'm supposed to do as an adult.

[A]

I feel like every bad man I've ever met has an air freshener in his car.

[B]

Well, that. Sure, okay. You're right. I guess you're right.

[A]

I sound like you have an Uber driver fetish.

[B]

I kind of do. But to me, this is what I'll say in. In rebuttal to that, is that when I get in an Uber with a guy who has the black ice air freshener, and it makes me, once again, have to roll the window down because I feel nauseous. I think, man, I wish it didn't smell like this, But I think this man works hard at his job. This man knows that he has a responsibility of taking me safely somewhere, and he takes that seriously. I really do think that I'm not messing around. I mean, I really think that I'm like, oh, he takes it. It's like when they have water bottles back there. I'm like, nobody's going to drink out of that. Because we read that Instagram post about someone getting drugged via water bottle, but we like that the water bottles are there to show to. You're telling me you run a business and I am a customer, and that makes me feel good.

[A]

Okay, I get that.

[B]

And I like when I get into a person's car. I was going on a date and I get into someone's car and they have an air freshener even if it smells bad. I go, but I know they kind of have their together because they went and they bought an air freshener and put in their car. Now, red flag is, this isn't my red flag. But for this, if the car is disgusting and they have an air freshener, that's disgusting, and that means you absolutely don't have your shit together. Okay, what's your green flag?

[A]

My green flag is preferring dark meat.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

If you like dark meat chicken over white meat chicken. If you like a thigh over a breast, I think you have better taste. I think you like flavor more. I think you are thoughtful about affordability. I think you're just like, more interesting. If I have to see one more recipe on TikTok about what to do with a chicken breast. Why are y'all so obsessed with boneless, skinless chicken breast? I do not understand. And sometimes people will be like, oh, but sometimes you get one. It's really good. It's really juicy. Sure. I like the best version of anything.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But you could run over a chicken thigh with your car and then cook it in a dishwasher and it would still be delicious. So I think that you. I'm just like. And if you can admit that if you're like, dark meat tastes better, it's more delicious. Because people like white meat because they were told it was healthier.

[B]

Is that true? Yeah. You don't know that.

[A]

Big push. It's not. It's not healthier, it's not healthier. But it's. It's not all the same. There are things like, I think white meat chicken is like, less calorically dense or like, whatever than dark meat chicken. Or maybe less fatty. I don't remember. But there was like a huge push in the 90s to have this thing where, like, fast food restaurants would be like, all white meat, white meat, all white meat chicken. And like, there was this huge push. It was a war on dark meat. I don't know if you remember this or not.

[B]

War.

[A]

It was a war. I mean, it really was. All of a sudden it was like, if you had dark meat chicken in your food, it was like, well, it's.

[B]

Kind of like the brown white rice thing of it all where people finally were like, is there actually a difference? And everyone was like, no. I don't know why you guys are making yourself eat brown rice.

[A]

Yeah, right? Isn't that great? Well, but I don't. Brown rice has some different nutritional stuff. But, yeah, I guess it's the implication, like, Brown rice is fine. Brown rice is great. I like brown rice in certain settings.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What? Why is white rice not healthy anymore?

[B]

Well, it's not, I guess to me, if you like brown rice, that's the difference. I think there were people who actively didn't like brown rice and were just like, I have to. Cause I'm healthy. And it's like, what? I think it's really sweet that you're talking about why it's, like, stupid to be obsessed with the breast when the thigh is available. Right after I got my breast reduction surgery.

[A]

I don't even like breasts. I think they're nasty.

[B]

If you're listening, what you can't see is the tears streaming silently Dunder's face.

[A]

No, I. I just think that it's weird. I think you have bad taste if you prefer white meat. I'm sorry. I also feel the same way about if you like boneless, skinless.

[B]

Boneless. Skinless. What? What? What is that?

[A]

Chicken.

[B]

But, like, what? People take the skin off.

[A]

Yeah. Like, if you just get a chicken breast at the store, a lot of times it's served like, boneless, skinless chicken breast.

[B]

Oh, I see.

[A]

If you are someone who's like, grossed out by touching meat, but you still eat meat. If you are grossed out by touching meat, don't eat meat. It is so weird to me that there are people who are like, I think meat is nasty, but I don't want to touch it. I don't want to look at it. I don't want to think about the fact that it was an animal, but I'm like, perfectly happy eating it. That's so weird to me. I don't understand that, you know, what was.

[B]

Maybe I've told this story on the podcast before, so I apologize if I'm repeating this horrifying story. But when I was a child, for years and years, I would beg my mom to get me up at 5am on Thanksgiving, which I've never been a morning person. I hate getting up. I would be like, please wake me up at 5am on Thanksgiving morning so I can rub the oil on the turkey. And every year she would wake me up at 5am I would lather. Pervert. And I remember every year, I remember the moment is like clear as day. Every year, her at one point going, okay, that's enough. Okay. I think that's probably enough because I would just want to rub the turkey with this oil for so long. Maybe that's like, I should have known I was gay. I don't know.

[A]

It was Sexual.

[B]

It felt really sexual. Like, I loved touching it so much. Like, I think I would have been really into slime as a kid if that was kind of a thing at that time. I love touching it. And then I would go back to bed. My mom would cook everything else by herself.

[A]

Truly wild.

[B]

That turkey was rubbed.

[A]

But I think that's good. Yeah. I think if you're scared of bone in skin on meat, you're a coward. All right, so green flag to me. If I go out to dinner with you and you're like, I'll do a plate all dark meat, or you get like a half chicken, so you're doing the whole thing.

[B]

Corns. Y. I'm.

[A]

Well, I'm just like, I think you have good taste initially.

[B]

All right, what's your red flag?

[A]

People using the phrase quote unquote, it's fine. Oh, I hate the word fine.

[B]

Oh, okay. I hate the word too many implications.

[A]

Fine. It's just so kind of tepid. There's nothing interesting or truthful or telling about it. I get into arguments with my dad about it because I'll be like, how are you? He's like, I'm fine. I'm like, just fine. He's like, yeah, just fine. Nothing good or bad has happened. I'm just fine. I'm like, ew. Like, it's. It upsets me. Why is nothing else going on? Why are you just fine? Don't say that you're bad or you're good. Why are you just fine?

[B]

Yeah. Well, now. And I. I feel like fine can be used kind of as a weapon now where people will be like. They'll say it knowing that it alludes to the fact that they're not fine. And I'm like, that is a lot of emotional gymnastics.

[A]

And I agree with that. That's another thing I think often is people like, it's fine.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Once again, be brave.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What do you mean it's fine? Is it or is it not? If it is, then really be fine. Why are you saying it's fine and acting like it's not fine?

[B]

I agree.

[A]

Or if it's not fine, speak up.

[B]

I love it.

[A]

What's your red flag?

[B]

This is my red flag. If I see one more AI generated video of a Pomeranian walking on a Runway in a fashion show in a trench coat. And then when I go to the comments, the first 90 comments are, is this real? I'm gonna lose my mind. And why that's a red flag for me. Imagine if you were dating someone and then you saw Them comment that on a video what the implications of that are. I mean, that is so disturbing. I. I don't know. And they're all this. I will see on Facebook, a woman with, like, 40 legs. Genuinely. 80 comments. Praying for her. Praying for her. She looks like one of the people from Polar Express. She doesn't even look like a real person.

[A]

I don't. I've never seen Polar Express. I don't know what that's a reference.

[B]

It's like, anime.

[A]

I'm like, the train?

[B]

No, it's like animated, but it's a little Uncanny Valley. Like, it looks a little too real. Do you know what I mean? It looks a little real, but not real enough.

[A]

Yes, absolutely.

[B]

And watching people on the Internet just, like, believe this stuff is so disturbing. I've seen the most insane. I will see a polar bear. I saw an AI video the other day of a polar bear doing the Macarena.

[A]

I saw a video of Margot Robbie dressed as Barbie with James Charles. And they were doing some viral TikTok dance. And it is. It feels fall. Listen, AI has gotten very good, so sometimes you can't tell. But also, falling for AI is, like, deeply embarrassing.

[B]

It's really amazing. I almost. I almost just moved away, broke up with Jordan to move away the other day because I sent them a hotel I wanted to stay at. And. And Jordan was like, kendall, this is an AI image. It was a.

[A]

It was a hotel that. They were like, this hotel looks like a sand castle and it's all made of sand. And Kendall said to me, she was like, we have to go here.

[B]

So look, it happened.

[A]

That happened.

[B]

That's the privacy of my wife and I's DMs. I. You would not catch me commenting on this Sandcastle Hotel going, is this real? The stuff people commented on is insane. It will literally be an infant baby with, like, dressed as Abraham Lincoln doing, like, ice skating. And they're an infant baby. 80 comments. Is this real? Is this real? And they're not joking. I click on their profile, I can tell they're not joking. It's always like, mother of three, woman of God. This woman is serious, and she wants to know if this is real. And that makes me so scared for so many different reasons.

[A]

Yeah, it's scary. I think it's really scary.

[B]

And I would be embarrassed.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And that's how we're getting back into embarrassing.

[A]

And that's how we're getting back into embarrassing. All right, are we ready for some questions?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

All right. We got some really good ones. We Actually got a lot of people. And we also told people, which this is different than normal, that they can send in their stories about embarrassing, embarrassing things as well, which I mean, upsetting.

[B]

Wait, if you're like, where can I ask a question? You can always head on over to our Instagram and we will post questions on our story and you can comment the questions. That's where we get a bunch of them. Or you can go to our Patreon where we also, after every episode, continue the episode for 30 more minutes and do a minisode, as we call it, over on our Patreon. So check that out. And we also get questions via our email, which is hwl pod questionsmail.com and if you have a really long story or just like send an email, send it on over there.

[A]

We're so done with New Year, new you.

[B]

This year it's more you on Bumble.

[A]

More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Geminis because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because.

[B]

You know what you want and you know what, we love that for you.

[A]

Someone else will too be more you.

[B]

This year and find them on Bumblebee. Imagine what's possible when learning doesn't get in the way of life at Capella University. Our game changing flexpath learning format lets you set your own deadline so you can learn at a time and pace that works for you. It's an education you can tailor to your schedule. That means you don't have to put your life on hold to pursue your professional goals. Instead, enjoy learning your way and earn your degree without missing a beat. A different future is closer than you think with Capella University. Learn more at Capella. Edu.

[A]

You just love. Honestly, I do love sending the email. You do love sending an email. How do you avoid being embarrassed by how you acted in previous relationships?

[B]

Oh, that is hard. You simply must let it go. I feel like I totally have this because I wish so much that I was. I. I wish so much that I had understood what I deserved, obviously. But also on the other side of things, listen to what was being told to me. And there are past relationships where I just look back and it's like, I was thinking about this the other day because it's Valentine's Day and I saw this post that was like, if you're not official, you don't get Valentine's Day. Whatever. I don't know, it's not like right or wrong, just this person thought that and I remember Very clearly a Valentine's Day where I was dating a girl who we. I think I've talked about her on the podcast before, because she just was not as into me as I was into her. And it kept being this thing of, like, well, Kendall, like, I love dating you, but, like, I only want to see you once a week. And then we would see each other once a week. She was like, I still don't have enough time for me, so, like, can we see each other one hour a week? It was just, like, insane. And we had Valentine's Day together, and we had previously gone to an. To an art museum. And I remember her being like, oh, this is my favorite. I love this art piece. So I got her print of that art piece, and then I wrote, like, a long message on the back. It wasn't that long. It really wasn't that cringy, but it's just something you don't do for someone that's not your girlfriend.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I was thinking about that and was, like, kind of had a moment of embarrassment because I was like, I wonder if in the moment, she was like, this is really weird. You know what I mean? And I. But I think it's helpful to think of people in your life that have been. And I had one person who was genuinely weird to me, who, like, we kind of started dating casually, very casually, and then I was like, oh, this is maybe not for me. Ended it. They were, like, obsessed. Like, I. Like, sending me, like, love songs they wrote about me. That person did things that if I'd done, I would look back and be like, I'm embarrassed by that. And they might look back and be like, I'm embarrassed by that. But genuinely, I never think about them. And when I do, if I just have a memory of them, I genuinely am like, I hope they're doing well. Like, I do not think any ill will. I also have this, like, almost. What is it called when you relate to someone, like, a bond with this person? Because I'm like, we've all done something so embarrassing in a relationship. So I almost feel for them because I'm like, I've been there, so there's just really no need to do that. Everybody's done it.

[A]

Absolutely, 100%. I agree with Kendall. Nobody cares as much as you care. I've done embarrassing things. People have done embarrassing things. Once again, I think the only embarrassing thing, truly, that you could do is something bad. And I think if you've done something bad, if it's appropriate, apologize and then wash yourself free of that shame. Like, genuinely apologize if that person doesn't want to be bothered by you. Go to therapy and just work through it. You have to let it go. Yeah, but in general, like, an apology can go a long way.

[B]

Yeah. But I don't think you need to go back to your exes and like apologize to them or anything.

[A]

Unless you did something. I think if you did something really bad or just like, that just doesn't seem sit well with you. Like, you know, you up and it's still like, especially depending on how long ago it was. Like, I think you can send someone an email and just be like, hey, I just want to say, like, I'm sorry I did that. I never got a chance to apologize for it. I still think about it. It was so rude and that was my bad. Hope you're doing well, you know, whatever. As long as, like you didn't do something so bad that they don't want to hear from you. You know, don't prioritize your feelings over theirs. But I would not think it was crazy if like someone that I dated that I'm still on fine terms with was like, I used to be really rude to you about this one thing and I was thinking about it the other day and it was so weird and I'm sorry I did that. I would be like, oh, that's nice. Yeah, yeah, don't worry about it. And then I think, you know, it would all be fine. My partner is embarrassed by everything and it makes it hard for her to talk about her feelings.

[B]

Wow. Yeah, that's really hard.

[A]

This is another I'm sorry red flag for me.

[B]

No, I think it's not even for you. I think that's a red flag in general. Like you have to be able. Because you could frame it in a million different ways if you said, well, my girlfriend's a really bad communicator, which is what that is. It doesn't matter why she's a bad communicator. If she's a bad communicator because she's really embarrassed, she's still bad communicator. And that's obviously a red flag.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

I also think that will come into so many more places in your life. And for me, that's insufferable. I think some, I think an adult being embarrassed.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

And I do it. I've been, I mean, we've talked about this before. We've had full on conversations where it's like, we've talked about how it felt like my embarrassment in the moment took Precedence over your feelings. Like what? Like everyone has moments like that. Yeah, but in. But I feel embarrassed. Ironically, I feel embarrassed when I feel that emotion. I think it's very similar to when, like, I think it's really similar to when like an adult says they're shy.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Where I'm like, you're an adult. You cannot be shy. You can be nervous, you can be socially awkward, you can be socially anxious. But shy to me is like an action. It's like being like, I. I don't know. Shy to me is like a kid hiding behind their mom's leg. So when an adult's like, well, I can't go talk to the person at the counter of T mobile because I'm shy. I'm kind of like, you can't be. You have to, you have to talk to her. You need a cell phone.

[A]

I do need to give a huge shout out to our friend Izzy because she turned me onto this clip of Orson Welles talking about Woody Allen.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And he's talking about how Woody Allen is like a shy adult man and he thinks it's disgusting. And he's like, it's so put on. It's so. It's just like such. The quotes from it are so funny. I would highly recommend going to look at it. But so much of it that said, I do think is true is just like, are you shy? Or like, what it. What is this? And I think that some things can be true, but also maybe you need to work on them, I think. You know, like, also, if you're in.

[B]

Your head thinking of the most extreme situation you can possibly think of. We're not talking about that.

[A]

Yeah, we're literally never talking about that. Just speaking.

[B]

I'm talking about just general, like people that I interact with for my day to day life. It's also once again not me saying they're a bad person. I am just like, to me, I would not date someone who was shy. I would not date someone who couldn't order at a restaurant. To me, that is such a turn off and is so weird. And also, like, sometimes I think people forget that we're all have feelings and emotions. Like, I had to go up to this woman at Costco the other day and ask her if she could help us look at washers because our washer broke. Pray for us. And I walked past her, she was talking to someone else. Then I was like, okay, I need to stand over here. But she saw me and kind of waved and I was like, oh, great, now she's seen me. So now it seems like I'm stalking her. And then the person left. So then I was embarrassed. I tried to, like, make sure she didn't see me and not come up to a. Right away. Once again, insane. I was very nervous to talk to this woman at Costco. I still went up and did it. You know what I mean?

[A]

Yeah. It just. Nobody wants to do stuff like that. Nobody wants to have or just people that are like, I'm really awkward. I'm like, figure it out. And that doesn't mean you have to be a fully different person. But if you find yourself regularly not being able to, like, do interactions with people and you just kind of chalking it up as being like, well, I'm awkward. Well, I'm shy. Well, whatever. I'm like, maybe you need to work on that. Just like there are things that I need to and do work on as well, you know, just because, like being really awkward and being really awkward and shy. But you know what I mean? I think, like, people are quick to be like, I'm shy. And that's just. I'm like, yeah, I'm anxious. And for that I go to the doctor and I take a medicine and I have to do things that put me out of my comfort zone.

[B]

Yeah. So I think it's really hard with a partner because you need someone who's going to be able to show up for you. And it's like, what if you are at the doctor and are so sick you can't go talk to the person and they, like, can't do it or what? And it just. Resentment will build and you guys will get into. Get into it. You'll get into a big argument or you'll break up or you won't, and you'll just. They'll be miserable because they can't share anything with you that they need to share. You know what I mean?

[A]

Absolutely. Can I read this Orson Welles quote?

[B]

Yes, please.

[A]

So it's from an interview. Orson Welles says that he hates Woody Allen. This interviewer says, I've never understood why. Have you met him? Orson Welles says, oh, yes, I can hardly bear to talk to him. He has the Chaplin disease. That particular combination of arrogance and timidity sets my teeth on edge. And the interviewer says, he's not arrogant, he's shy. And Orson Will says, he is arrogant. Like all people with timid personalities, his arrogance is unlimited. Anybody who speaks quietly and shrivels up in company is unbelievably arrogant. He acts shy, but he's not. He's Scared. He hates himself and he loves himself. A very tense situation. It's people like me who have to carry on and pretend to be modest. And then the interviewer says, does he take himself very seriously? And Orson Welles says, very seriously. I think his movies show it to me. It's the most embarrassing thing in the world. A man who presents himself at his worst to get laughs in order to free himself from his public hang ups. Everything he does on screen is therapeutic. But which. It's so funny. This is like, obviously so specifically about Woody Allen. And what's so funny?

[B]

Because it's like, what is this interview?

[A]

It's also like, it's old. So it's like before a lot of the Woody Allen stuff, you know, Woody Allen used to be very beloved. Now it's very like invoked like, not like Woody Allen for very obvious reasons. But this was like when he was still very beloved. And I do think it's true. And I do think there is this thing, like Orson well says, it's people like me who have to carry on. And it's like, yeah. I think sometimes it's like you. When you are shy or awkward or easily embarrassed.

[B]

Yes. And those people also might be scared to do that thing, but they may have not had the privilege in their life to get to have someone else do it for them.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

They may not have had mommy who says, I'll do it for you, I'll do it for you. Now, are there people who are shy who also didn't have people doing that for them? Of course. But I think it does put a big load on people. And we've talked about this a lot because in this industry, sometimes we, we have discussed that, you know, you'll be on set and someone is just acting insane or like they're emotional or they have really high standards or they don't want this and they don't want that. And we're like, we don't know what it is, but we are not allowed to do that. Like, you know what I mean? Something about us. It's like we have to be so professional. And if we do one thing, it's like, bad. Bad. That's bad. And some people can get away with so much and it's like, what is that? And I think sometimes it's the standard they set up for themselves.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Which people are like, well, she's like that. She doesn't have to do it because she gets really emotional. And I'm like, if I cried on a set, I would never be invited back. I can Almost guarantee it.

[A]

Absolutely. Because it's this thing that you decide. You. You just. You've decided how people get to treat you. And then also, like, what if you're in a situation with someone else who's awkward or embarrassed easily or whatever, then it just becomes like a competition of, like, who's more of that thing.

[B]

Yes, well. And it's like, it's a hard line because it's also like, well, you should also share your needs. Because I always remember this moment. I'm very vague, but, like, after my dad had passed away and I was. It was like right after my dad passed away and I was on a set, and I don't even remember what was happening, but there was a girl there who was just complaining so much, and she was complaining constantly. She was being so rude, and she was like, well, sorry, I'm just having a bad day. This happened, this happened. And I'm blah, blah, blah. And my husband's being so annoying. And I was like, sitting there being like, my dad died three days ago, and I'm sitting here professional. I was on time. I'm prepared. I'm ready to roll. Because I don't get to share how I feel. Now there's two sides of the coin. Because it's like, well, I could have shared my opinion. That's not professional to show up to a set and be like, my dad just died. But I guess I chose to not share that. So it's wrong of me to resent someone for deciding to do that. But I remember just sitting there and being like, I feel like I am professional. So I'm put on this. I have this standard that I'm not allowed to act in a certain way, and then it perpetuates me having to be more professional and these people having to be less professional.

[A]

Yes. But I think there's a world in which I could be easily embarrassed. But I think I actively work on not be. You know what I mean? I think we talk about this a lot on this podcast, but just because you are away doesn't mean that way is good. And, you know, to turn it inward, I will always use my anxiety. Like, I have very severe generalized anxiety disorder. And it would not be fair or reasonable or responsible for me to just be like, well, I'm anxious. I'm anxious. I'm not gonna work on any of my behavior because I'm anxious. Sorry, that's me. That's who I am. It's like, okay, you can do that, but I guarantee you I would not be in a Successful relationship. I would not have as many friends as I have work as much as I have. Like, you need to take responsibility for your behavior, even if it's not your fault. It's not my fault that I'm anxious. That runs in my family. I come from a long line of people that have generalized anxiety disorder that really struggle with that. Gotta fix it.

[B]

I don't know. And in terms of being in a relationship with someone like that, I think there is, I think we've sometimes in our world today, it's like if you feel a feeling, you get to express that feeling and it's valid. This feeling is valid. This feeling is valid. It's like a feeling being valid and a feeling being at the forefront of the discussion is not the same thing. Like you can have a valid feeling and it not need to be talked about. I think that's like my problem. Well, I hesitate to my problem because I'm not educated enough on gentle parenting to have a problem with it. Cuz I think I probably would gentle parent my child. But sometimes I see people doing it and I'm like, I don't think that's probably what it is, but it's so this, like you're feeling angry right now. So even though I'm in the middle of the bank and I have so much I have to do, let's turn to you and dissect your emotions. And it's like, well, what about my feeling of being at the bank and trying to get this thing done and being stressed out? And now I'm having to turn to you and be like, what's going on with your feelings? And it's like, it's not always the time for your feelings to be at the forefront of stuff. So if you're embarrassed because your partner brings something to you, and I've had to work on this before, like you've brought something to me that you're like, this hurt me. And then I get embarrassed because I'm like, oh, I hurt Jordan's feelings. It's like, well, yeah, but we don't need to sit and talk about why you're embarrassed. Yeah, you can talk about it later, but you don't need to talk about it right now.

[A]

Yeah, I had to be like, it feels unfair to me that you did something that hurts my feelings. And the most important thing in this conversation is that you feel embarrassed about the fact that you did that. Because that's just not fair. Right. It doesn't mean that it's not valid or it doesn't make sense for you to be embarrassed. Of course. Like, if either one of us hurts the other one, it feels embarrassing because you're like, how could I do this to someone I love so much? But at the same time, it's like.

[B]

That was me in Death Valley, farting, crying. How could I do this, someone I love so much? And you were like, it's not about your feelings about farting. It's about the fact that I feel.

[A]

Like we're all about to die. We're all about to die. And this. Actually, Kendall, if I can go into another question, brings us to the most common question we received, which. When is it appropriate to fart in front of your partner? That's the. We received that. What? Feels like a hundred thousand times.

[B]

I hate that I'm saying this because I promised myself long ago I would never talk about potty humor on a podcast. First of all, I said, I never do a podcast. And then I said, okay, you do podcast. No talking about farting. And look at me now. But this is what I'll say. If you don't fart in front of your partner, something is deeply wrong with your relationship. I'm sorry. Full stop. That's what I think. I don't think there's even an argument. What? I get it if you've been dating for six months, but I know couples who've dated for 8, 9, 10, 15 years, and they still. Well, we don't fart in front of each other. I'm like, okay, he's cheating on you. Is. He's cheating.

[A]

Okay, he's cheating on you.

[B]

Something. He's going. He's getting what he can't get from you. The farts from someone else. He's fart. He's getting farts from someone else.

[A]

Things are, like, not okay. Like, he doesn't actually have a job. He's going and sitting at the train station every day and not going to a job because he was fired. So six months ago. Like, your relationship is not open. Things are not true.

[B]

And you probably don't. I think it leads into so many things. It's like, well, you're embarrassed to be viewed a certain way. So I think that gets into, like. Well, you don't show your full self to your partner. You're embarrassed that if you're not attractive to your partner, they won't be as in love with you. That's a problem. It's the same people who don't baby talk in front of their partner. And I am not a relationship therapist, but I have Seen many relationship therapists. And I will preface on TikTok. I've seen them, so who knows if it's real?

[A]

She read it on TikTok.

[B]

I read it on TikTok in an article that I watched, and it was. I've seen so many relationship experts be like, if you don't baby talk with your partner, like, the healthiest relationships baby talk with each other.

[A]

Sorry. It's cute. It's tiny. It's intimate. It's private. Just do it.

[B]

Relax.

[A]

Like, what is this? What is this pretense you're putting on? Why do you want to live with someone for the rest of forever that can't see all of you?

[B]

And first of all, medically, unless your husband is deployed in the army, you're going to have so many farts trapped up in there that you're going to have to go to the hospital.

[A]

It's absolutely true.

[B]

And then when he gets. Even if he's in the army, okay, he gets home. And now you guys are. Want to. Want to spend 247 together because he was deployed for so long, you're going to have to go to the hospital.

[A]

It also, I feel like, just leads into this thing because I don't know any queer couples that have this issue. I'm sorry, I don't. I really don't. Every person that I know that has this issue is a male, female, cisgendered heterosexual couple. And not to say all of those couples have this issue, so many of them don't. But this issue, to me, feels like it really only exists for those people because I think it goes into, like, men shouldn't see women in this way.

[B]

Yeah. It's like when the women used to get up and put makeup on before their husband got out of bed.

[A]

Or like, how your husband wouldn't go watch you give birth because it would be like, how are they supposed to want to have sex with you after if they've seen what goes on down there? And it's just like, I don't think that's good. I don't think that's good at all.

[B]

It. It also just. It makes things so fragile because eventually one's gonna slip out like it did in the. In that store in Salt Lake City.

[A]

And then that's embarrassing, what happened. And then that. You know what? I'll tell you what, that is embarrassing.

[B]

And I said to you. What did I say to you the other day, Jordan? What did I say to you?

[A]

I'm so sorry. You say things. What did I say every single day?

[B]

What specifically are you sitting on the couch? And I said, you're the only person in my life who ever I've ever felt where I'm like, I don't even think about anything I say to you. It sounds rude, but I am so 100 myself that the way I am by myself alone in my room is the exact way I am with you. And I don't even think about saying things like, I don't think about. And I know this could sound rude where I'm like, I don't think about your emotions. But everyone else, I'm like, trying to desperately be like, well, how should I say this? When should I say this? And with you, you really just get the most raw, like, what I think.

[A]

Well, we joke about this a lot. We talked about this in the podcast. But you very much identify as a people pleaser. But you are never trying to please me.

[B]

No. And it's freeing. Like, I feel like I. You. You'll be like, do you want this for dinner? And I'm like, ew, that sounds disgusting. And yeah, that's rude. But that is so nice to be able to say that versus being like, oh, yes. Oh, my God, yum. And it's like, I with you, I'm just completely how I am. And that starts with the fart that starts in the bathroom, you guys. You have to start it somewhere, and it has to be there.

[A]

That's so true. Internalized ableism has me embarrassed to tell people about my disability. My sex life needs to be accommodated for me to participate. How do you tell someone that in a sexy way?

[B]

I think on the date. If you go on a date before you can tell a funny story, this might be bad.

[A]

No, no, I actually think. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Keep going. I think this is good advice. I think this is good advice.

[B]

Listen, I am not. I'm not the person who should be giving advice to people with disabilities, but I, like, maybe you tell a funny story that's like, oh, my God. I had talk about weird dating experience. I went on a date with this person and we were gonna have sex, and I was kind of nervous because I, you know, like, I have this disability and this is how I have to accommodate my disability. And then this. Whatever. Tell like a story about it that, like, could be just normal to tell on a date.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Like, or. Or even just like, yeah, something related to that. And then when I. You go to have sex later, I think they would probably be like, oh, how do I accommodate your disability?

[A]

100. I think that's a great way to do it. I think there's two avenues. I think one of them is joking about it. Be like, oh, yeah, well. Oh, the worst thing that happened to me one time I had sex with someone and, well, my colostomy bag exploded or whatever. It's like, that's fun. It's personal. It makes you.

[B]

That's funny. Probably not in the moment, if that's happened to you.

[A]

No, no. I'm sure in the moment. It's really messy, doesn't feel good. But I'm like, something like that is like, if I was on a date with somebody that had something like that, I would be like, oh, what a fun. They would tell me like, oh, this person has, like, a sense of humor about things in their life, is very secure. Yeah. It would be such a green flag overall. And I would not think anything weird about it. I would just think they were telling me a fun story. And then I think the other avenue you could go is just being honest about it. Like, if things start getting hot and heavy, be like, hey, I want to resume this in one second. But I do just have to say, I have this thing where I can't do this. Is that cool? And just keep it, like, concise and confident and clear. And then move on. And then vocalize what you need, like, during the whole thing. Because if you're like, hey, heads up, I have vertigo. And when I get doggy style, I faint. Like, just. I don't know if someone is like, what? Ew. Huh? Why are you telling me that don't have sex with. You should not be having sex with that person. That person's a freak.

[B]

And I'm also like, maybe this is just me. Because I know people's like, sex drives are very different, but for me, I think people, you always hear, they're like, I don't want to ruin the mood. I don't want to ruin the mood. The mood. To me, it's so easy to get back in the mood. Like, I feel like not. I don't know, we'll be having sex and our dog will jump up on the bed, and then it ruins the mood.

[A]

We're like, haha.

[B]

Like, haha, get down. And then two seconds and then it's fine.

[A]

I'm just like, yeah, it feels so.

[B]

Funny to be like, I was in the mood and it was so fragile. And now I'm out of the mood and I can't even, like, look at you. It's like, just start making out again. It's like, not that hard to get back in the mood. I would never be taken out of the mood by someone explaining to me an accommodation they need. But if someone for some reason is like, oh, that kind of made me think about something. And when I think I can't get horny, it's like, just get back into it. It's fine.

[A]

Yeah. And once again, if they're weird about it, they're weird. And you don't want to have sex with them or date them.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I've never been in a relationship. Is lack of experience embarrassing?

[B]

I don't think embarrassing. I don't think embarrassing is the right word. Do you know what I mean? I think there is something about. I don't know, I think there is something about being like, I've never been in a relationship that would make me think.

[A]

Gives you pause.

[B]

Sometimes it gives you pause, but never enough to be like.

[A]

But.

[B]

But I hesitate to say that because I also think it would be much more attractive to me for someone to be like, hey, honestly, I've never been in a relationship. I. And I know I have many friends who've never been in a relationship who are incredible and amazing and hot. And I'd be like, you'd be an amazing partner. So I think it'd be much more hot to be like, I've never been in a relationship, so I'm not experienced in that department. But I'm really looking for something serious than to have someone, like, pretend to not have been in a. Like, pretend they have been in a relationship or, like, not talk about it and then be like, well, I didn't want to tell you because I was embarrassed. It's not embarrassing. It's just like, oh, I would wonder if you were not great at communicating a relationship. Unaware of, like, how it works. Maybe codependent. Like, those are things I would worry about. And then when you weren't those things, I would be like, I guess not. I feel like it's kind of like when we started dating, you had paused because I was young, and then you kind of, like, awaited to see. But I wasn't embarrassed because I was young. I just was like, well, that's. I am. So that's what it is. And then you were kind of like, I'm worried XYZ is gonna happen. And then it didn't. And then you were like, I guess we can date. You know what I mean?

[A]

It's fine. Yeah. Yeah, it. I think 100 agree. When dating, do you feel like it's more embarrassing to be broken up with or to do the breaking up. Not that either role is inherently embarrassing, but in my experience, the feeling of being broken up with can be incredibly, irrationally embarrassing.

[B]

I think breaking up with someone is much more embarrassing because to me, you. I'm sorry, that's what I think. I know you disagree, but I think when you dump someone, you open yourself up to a lot of scrutiny from the public because people are like, you've made this decision that you think is right. So now I feel the need to look at who I thought was. And I do this naturally. I'm sorry. If you've broken up with your partner and you've told me about it, I've probably been like, who's more better off? In my head, who's winning this? Who's better? Who is already better than the other person? You're thinking like, they dumped you. You're way hotter than them. They dumped you. You're so much cooler than them. It opens you up to be really, like, attacked by the public. And then you have to have a really good life after the fact. Or everyone is like, how embarrassing. They broke up with that person and now that person is a famous dancer and he is an idiot.

[A]

I hear you. But it is so much more embarrassing to be dumped, unfortunately. And once again in that same way where it's like, nobody's thinking about it but you, but at the same time being dumped. Because also it makes you think about like, you just the things leading up. Like, you were like, wait, when was the last time I said I love you? And when I said I love you, were they like, I'm such of you. And then things after, like, I remember this guy that I dated for a really long time, he dumped me like very suddenly. And then after I was like, can I just have a kiss goodbye? And he was like, no.

[B]

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[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[A]

I said, I don't get embarrassed. Thinking about that makes me feel embarrassed. But I think, once again, in my mind, I was so caught off guard. I was so shocked. I was like, okay, something's going wrong. He's just forgotten that we're in love. And if we do one kiss, he will feel it. He'll be like, oh, I'm being stupid. Like, we are in love. And so, like, stuff like that. Like, even. Even when I've been dumped in the past and I wasn't that into the relationship, I was like, please, no, because it's just a bad feeling. Like, the second you get your toy taken away, you want the toy more is what it feels like. It feels so childlike. But once again, neither one of them are, like, actually embarrassing.

[B]

Right? Right. You know, I've never been dumped, so I don't know.

[A]

But I've been dumped a bunch, and I can truly speak to it.

[B]

I've had so many mutual breakups. I've had so many things where I have done the dumping because I've been like, you hate me and you don't want to be with me. And then they. I dump them. And then they're like, great. And I'm like, wait, I'm sorry. I kind of wanted you to maybe get back with me. And then they're like, no, it feels like I'm being dumped, but I ultimately did that.

[A]

Yeah, that does not feel good. I do want to read some of these stories that people sent to us here, and we get to determine if they're embarrassing or not embarrassing. This person says, in fifth grade, I left my crush a quote, unquote anonymous note with a love poem. Mind you, I was homeschooled, and this was a group of homeschoolers who got together to learn every week, so everyone knew it was me. I neither confirmed nor denied, but I was mortified, and all the boys were making fun of me. I'm a lesbian now. Embarrassing or not embarrassing?

[B]

No, not embarrassing. Anything before the age of 15 is not embarrassing.

[A]

Doesn't matter. Who cares?

[B]

Yeah, not embarrassing. I love that you were ready to show your feelings, and you were up front. You were honest.

[A]

Yeah, absolutely.

[B]

Next story.

[A]

Dating seven days. Sushi date. Threw up in his car everywhere.

[B]

It's embarrassing. That's embarrassing. And ultimately, you know that's embarrassing.

[A]

And vomiting is embarrassing. Vomiting is embarrassing.

[B]

And this is from two big vomiters.

[A]

Or pukers, for sure. It's like my body's first line of defense for anything. Like, I get car sick, I get boat sick, I get plane sick. I have morning sickness all the time. I have my whole life. Throwing up is embarrassing, but what I will say.

[B]

And I don't know if you agree with this, but, like, anything, throwing up is a skill. And I know I'm always amazed when someone's like, I threw up. And I hadn't thrown up since I was six. I'm like, what? I throw up 900 times a year.

[A]

I could throw up into a Dasani water bottle.

[B]

I can throw up no straw in a Dasani water bottle.

[A]

I could throw up into it. And then on with my day.

[B]

And so with that, I think I have less embarrassing moments because I can hold it and I can get it into any thing I need it to get into. I would never just projectile vomit across. I also kind of always make sure I have, like, plastic bags in our car. There's just so many things, like I'm.

[A]

When you're a person who. With, like, chronic nausea or motion sickness or whatever, like, you just get skilled and you. You prepare.

[B]

But I will say, first of all, it's only been seven dates, so. Or seven days. Or seven dates.

[A]

Seven. They'd been dating for seven days.

[B]

Yeah. It's okay. Well, if you're still together, that's amazing. You can move past it.

[A]

And that's the spoiler alert. They're still together six years later. Six years.

[B]

Oh. So there's nothing to be embarrassed about now. Now, that's a funny story. That's kind of a Death Valley story.

[A]

Big time.

[B]

Cause that could have been a moment. You were like, this is not for me. But it. It wasn't. And now it's funny, but I went on a date with a girl who weirdly, like, we. It was like I was more into them. Classic. And then they kind of ended things. And then I was like, okay. Like, I am sad. And then they, like, months, months later, reached out and was like, actually, I do want to go on a date, and I'm an idiot. So I was like, great, let's go. And then we went on this date. They got so drunk in a way that was absolutely insane. I did not get, like, I had one. I mean, I had two drinks. They got, like, really, really drunk.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then I was like, let me get you an Uber home. And they were like, no, please let me come over. And I was like, okay. But I obviously, like, nothing was gonna happen because they were so drunk. So then I was. But I lived in a small New York apartment, so I was kind of just like, here's my bed. We can sleep in this. And then we were just like, sleeping next to each other, like, not touching. And then they got up at like 3am and projectile vomited on the floor. And it was so. And then they left it there. And then I woke up and they were kind of grabbing. At like 6am they're like, grabbing their stuff to go. And they were like, I'll clean this up. And I was, like, half asleep. And once again, and a people pleaser. Obviously, this was on me, but I just said, it's okay. And then they immediately were like, okay, thank you, and left. And I was like, wait, I'm sorry. I thought there was gonna be more of a back and forth where you were like, no, let me clean it up. And I was like, okay, fine. That's fine. But they immediately left. And I. Fun fact about me. Have insane germaphobia. Well, okay, I don't have insane and germaphobia, but I used to have it. Like, when I was a kid, I had my own silverware. I've talked about this before. I was very germaphobia. And now I still struggle with a little bit. I'm now cleaning up this person's vomit. And they did try to go on another date. And I was like, I can't unsee that. I just can't do it. It also, I think, is indicative of a lot of things. If they'd gotten the flu while we happened to be on our first date. Completely different.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But I think it was this chaotic energy of like, I'm drunk and I'm coming over to your house, and then I'm gonna vomit, and then I'm gonna run away and clean it, and then I'm not gonna really talk about it. But as to go on a set, there's just a lot of things that I was like, that's a turn off for me.

[A]

Absolutely. This person says, when I was meeting my wife's extended family for the first time, her grandpa came up to me and I said, you must be Grandpa. And he said, oh, yeah? What makes you think that? And I panicked and wanted to say something really slick and cool, but instead I just said, oh, because you're so cool. And Mikayla told me how cool you are. And then he just looked at me and walked away. And I do think that's embarrassing. I think that's kind of embarrassing.

[B]

But it's a light. It's a funny embarrassing.

[A]

It's sweet. I'm sure your whole family can like talk about it now, but I do think it is embarrassing.

[B]

Yeah, it's hard though. I will say when you meet a family members, I don't know how old this grandfather was, but meeting partner's elderly family is very awkward sometimes because most of the time not. But ever so often it's just kind of like I don't know how to communicate with you because you are being, you're being bizarre. But there's no. When you're past a certain age, when you're in 80 plus, you can't say anything embarrassing. And so now it's like if we have an awkward conversation, it's because of me, even though you're being insane. Do you know what I mean?

[A]

Yes. Absolutely.

[B]

Doesn't seem like that's what happened here.

[A]

But I know it seems like you were being kooky crazy. But that is so hard. It's so hard when you're thrown off because. Right. The impulses you want to say, oh, because you're old and you're here, right. You know, like you're here and like there's only like eight people here and like you're the old one, so you're probably grandpa.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Um, and my probably embarrassing thing is I probably would have said something like that, right? I would've been like, well, you're the oldest dame here, or what? You know what I mean? Like, I probably would have said something like that. Which maybe is not good, but I think it's hard. I think it's hard.

[B]

There's our. There's a lot of pressure anyways. I remember the first time I met Jordan's parents. One of the first times we went to a diner and your parents are vegetarians and I ordered chicken and waffles. I was nervous. I've never ordered that at a restaurant ever. I've never done that. But I got it because I was nervous. And then I remembered they were vegetarians. But I soon I soothed myself and was like, well, it'll. It'll be fine. They'll be like chicken strips. It will be normal. It comes as like a full chicken on the bone on a waffle. Spent the whole time cracking bones, gnawing on them. And then I thought to myself, well, he probably doesn't remember that. And then he brought it up a couple months ago and said, remember that time you ate a full chicken at breakfast? When I'm a vegetarian, yeah, that Was embarrassing.

[A]

That was embarrassing. I think it was embarrassing because it made you seem a little bit inconsiderate.

[B]

Yeah. 100.

[A]

You're not at all. You're, like, so considerate, and I think that I. But that's the kind of thing that I'm saying. I think that kind of stuff is more embarrassing when it, like, stings because there's some actual, like, badness to it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Versus, like, if you just, you know, we said throw up is embarrassing, but if you just throw up on a date because you got the flu, not that embarrassing. If you throw up on a date because you drank way too much because you were nervous, I think that does ring as a little more embarrassing because you're like, oh. Oh. The way that you deal with being nervous is, like, consuming a lot of alcohol, maybe not a great sign, you know? So I think it's just like, is. Is what? Yeah. Is there any truth to the embarrassment? I think that's where it lies.

[B]

Yeah, totally.

[A]

All right. Well, another incredible episode, if I may say so myself.

[B]

I agree. I agree.

[A]

Whoa.

[B]

I feel like we've been just cranking out bangers. Can I be honest?

[A]

Yeah, you can be honest.

[B]

All right. Thank you so much for being here. We didn't even talk about my breast reduction.

[A]

Yeah, we talked about it last episode.

[B]

If you go on the Patreon, we have photos of my breasts. I'm just kidding.

[A]

Don't promise that, because I'll be an email saying, I signed up for the patreon. I paid $5. Where are my photos of Kendall's breasts? We will not be providing photos of Kendall's breasts, because she doesn't actually want that.

[B]

No, I don't want that. Thank you for checking in, though. I love the thought that if I'd been like, I really want this, you'd be like, okay, I get.

[A]

Yeah, I guess if you really wanted it.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

You know? Yeah. Yeah. Hey, sleep on it tonight, all right? Sleep on it sitting up straight in your pillow.

[B]

I know. I have to sleep in such an insane way right now. Thank you so much for being here, as always. We hope that if you sent in a story, you don't feel too embarrassed, because there's really. None of these are embarrassing enough.

[A]

Hey, you know what? I'm going to call you out. None of these stories were that embarrassing, so I want to do another embarrassment episode where y'all give us genuinely embarrassing stories for us to dissect and determine if they're embarrassing.

[B]

If I have one that's like, really? Do you have anything that you're like, that was really embarrassing.

[A]

I'm sure I do. And they'll have to tune back in for the next embarrassment episode.

[B]

My God.

[A]

Okay, well, we're called a cliffhanger.

[B]

We're gonna continue over on Patreon right now. So if you're interested in getting a Patreon subscription to our Patreon, it helps us out so much. It helps us be able to make this podcast, and we would appreciate it. No pressure, but also tons of pressure. And we're gonna continue this episode over there for our minisode. Make sure to subscribe if you're on YouTube. Make sure to rate and review if you're on Spotify or Apple Podcasts or anywhere you get your podcasts. And most importantly, have a wonderful, embarrassing free week.

[A]

Thank you always to Spotify for letting us record in the Spotify offices. Goodbye.

[B]

Bye.