60: The Electronic That Nearly Ended Our Relationship

Summary

Podcast Summary: Happy Wife Happy Life
Episode 60: The Electronic That Nearly Ended Our Relationship
Release Date: April 14, 2025

Hosts: Kendahl Landreth and Jordan Myrick
Description: Kendahl and Jordan, two comedians navigating the complexities of relationships, delve into personal challenges with humor and honesty.

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Introduction

In Episode 60 of Happy Wife Happy Life, titled "The Electronic That Nearly Ended Our Relationship," Kendahl Landreth and Jordan Myrick explore the humorous yet frustrating saga of their household vacuum cleaners. The episode delves into how seemingly trivial household electronics can strain even the most loving relationships, blending comedy with genuine relationship insights.

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Personal Wellbeing and Self-Care Struggles

The episode kicks off with Kendahl expressing her dissatisfaction with her appearance and overall well-being. She articulates her feelings of exhaustion and frustration despite making significant lifestyle changes:

Kendall (01:30): “I'm in a weird place right now where I'm trying to treat my body better and somehow am looking and feeling worse than I've ever felt before.”

Jordan empathizes, sharing his own experiences with adjusting to new health routines and the psychological impacts of not seeing immediate results:

Jordan (02:29): “I feel like I've been doing it longer than four days. But you've been doing dance like two weeks.”

This mutual vulnerability sets the stage for a candid conversation about managing personal health and relationship dynamics.

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Sleep Schedule Issues

A significant portion of the episode revolves around their conflicting sleep schedules, exacerbated by Jordan's recent surgery and medication-induced fatigue:

Kendall (05:00): “Our sleep schedule is bad. It is your fault. What is the point?”

Jordan explains the upheaval caused by his surgery and subsequent reliance on medication:

Jordan (06:01): “So my sleep schedule is absolutely insane now. And I'm healing. So I've kind of, like, prepped my work so that I can take off work while I heal.”

Their attempts to rectify the situation include purchasing a new hatch alarm clock, symbolizing their effort to synchronize their sleep patterns:

Kendall (09:57): “We just got a hatch alarm clock. So I'm gonna set it up tonight. We'll see if the rain sounds and red light.”

This segment highlights the challenges couples face in aligning daily routines, especially when external factors like health issues intervene.

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The Vacuum Cleaner Conundrum

The heart of the episode centers on Kendall and Jordan's seemingly endless collection of vacuum cleaners and the tension it creates. Kendall expresses her frustration over the never-ending cycle of purchasing, breaking, and discarding vacuums:

Kendall (18:37): “At this point, we have four vacuums.”

Jordan defends his side, attributing the frequent breakdowns to both quality control issues and neglect in maintenance:

Jordan (14:35): “I've talked to people about this because my mom growing up had the same vacuum. All growing up, it was plug in. I'm telling you, there is quality control not happening in the vacuum department.”

Their back-and-forth argument highlights deeper issues of responsibility and communication within the relationship. Kendall criticizes Jordan's track record with maintaining household items, while Jordan feels unfairly blamed for the malfunctions:

Kendall (17:30): “You have broken or messed up or lost the charger... at this point, five vacuums total.”

Jordan (16:51): “I can't even. I'm getting worked up. I can't even do this right now.”

This humorous yet relatable debate underscores how everyday issues can escalate into significant relational strains.

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Social Media and Couple Influencing

Towards the end of the episode, Kendahl and Jordan shift their focus to the broader topic of social media couple influencers. They discuss the pressures and challenges of maintaining authenticity while sharing their relationship publicly:

Jordan (23:50): “How do you feel about social media couple influencers? Is it healthy? No. Us included.”

Kendahl elaborates on the necessity of setting boundaries to separate personal life from content creation:

Kendall (26:13): “I think that you have to be really good at putting boundaries in place to separate business and pleasure.”

They reflect on their unique position as a couple who are also professional collaborators, emphasizing the importance of maintaining a healthy balance to prevent content from jeopardizing their relationship.

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Notable Quotes

• Kendall (01:30): “I'm trying to treat my body better and somehow am looking and feeling worse than I've ever felt before.”
• Jordan (05:00): “Our sleep schedule's been really bad... That has been your fault.”
• Kendall (09:57): “We just got a hatch alarm clock. So I'm gonna set it up tonight.”
• Jordan (14:35): “There's quality control not happening in the vacuum department.”
• Kendall (26:13): “You have to be really good at putting boundaries in place to separate business and pleasure.”

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Conclusion

Episode 60 of Happy Wife Happy Life masterfully combines humor with heartfelt discussions about relationship dynamics, personal well-being, and the impact of everyday issues like household electronics on marital harmony. Kendahl and Jordan's candidness offers listeners both laughter and relatable insights, reminding us that even the smallest challenges can test the strength of love and communication. Their ability to navigate these topics with honesty and humor makes this episode a standout installment in their series.

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Note: This summary excludes advertisements and non-content sections to focus solely on the episode's main discussions and themes.

Transcript

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[Jordan]

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[Ryan Reynolds]

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[Jordan]

Welcome to Happy Wife Happy Life.

[Kendall]

I don't know what's going on. I'm feeling so unwell. I'm just like, I'm. I'm. Do you know, like I'm not happy with the way my hair looks. I'm not happy with the way my skin looks. I'm not happy with that way this outfit looks. Like I'm just having a myriad of issues.

[Jordan]

I feel like your hair looks incredible and I feel like your outfit looks incredible. But can I say, oh God, I feel like multiple times you've worn the sleep romper and you've been like I don't like the way it looks.

[Kendall]

Okay, well you have to explain what that is. It's basically it's like a one piece romper that sometimes I sleep in, but sometimes I use it as a layering.

[Jordan]

Piece and I think it looks adorable, but I just feel like there's been multiple moments where we've been like doing something where you've been in the sloer and you've been like I don't like the way my outfit looks.

[Kendall]

I don't think that's true.

[Jordan]

Or am I?

[Kendall]

No, I think that's, I'm sure that's true. I think I'm in a weird place right now where I'm trying to treat my body better and somehow am looking and feeling worse than I've ever felt before. And that will. Thank you. No, I don't think I'm like bad or anything, but I'm just like I've. I. You know, my feet were messed up for a hundred thousand years. Now I'm finally able to walk again. I've gotten back into dance. I'm going to dance classes multiple Times a week. I, A couple weeks ago, stopped drinking soda because Kendall's always on me about drinking soda. So I stopped drinking soda. I've been trying to get more sleep. I look exhausted. I feel exhausted. My chin, my neck breaking out horribly. You know, I eat enough protein. Cause I make you the same thing I make me, so, you know, I'm getting enough protein. I'm eating so many vegetables.

[Jordan]

Are you taking your medication? Oh.

[Kendall]

That'S none of your business, Kendall. Muff your ears. So, no, I've forgotten to take my medication a little bit. A little bit. I forgotten to take it off and on, and that's my fault. And that's bad. And don't do that. But I'm like, that's not contributing to all of it.

[Jordan]

No, 100%. I will say something so that I used to remind my. This is not me. This may not be your problem. But in my experience, I feel like I had a. A similar thing where I had been starting to, like, get back into the gym and eat healthy. And then I got, like, really upset because I was like, why do I not feel completely different? And then you were kind of like, just a reminder queen. It's been four days. So I think. And so I think sometimes you just have to give yourself a little time because you've been doing it longer than four days. But, like, you got into dance. Back into dance, like, two weeks ago.

[Kendall]

But I'm feeling worse. If I wasn't feeling. It's not like I was looking to.

[Jordan]

Feel different, but that's what happened. Two weeks ago, I got a surgery. So you even had me to take care of me.

[Kendall]

Of course you're tired.

[Jordan]

I'm the problem.

[Kendall]

You're the problem.

[Jordan]

I'm never taking my medication again.

[Kendall]

Kendall's the problem's the problem. No, but you know what I mean. Like, I'm just feel. I'm just like. I'm. But I always feel like this. Ha. I don't know. My life just, like, breaking out so bad. Even though I feel like I'm taking such good care of my skin, like, all these things, you know, I. It's.

[Jordan]

I'm sorry. That's really frustrating.

[Kendall]

It's okay. But I'm kind of, like, on one today, so we shot two episodes, and I just know I'm gonna watch them back and be like, oh, no.

[Jordan]

Well, I'll edit them.

[Kendall]

Me out of them.

[Jordan]

I'll edit you out of them. Because I don't want to look at it either when I'm. When I'm editing them. No, I'll go back. I'll go back and watch. Like, one of us always goes back and watches the episode to make. To, like, pull clips. And I'll go do that for those episodes.

[Kendall]

That's very nice, sweetheart.

[Jordan]

But also, you look gorgeous. I just know that it's all. It's all like, you know. No, you'll see, like, a video of someone. Like, I look so bad, and I'm like, you look. Not to be rude, but the same you always look. Just remember that it's. That it's not you.

[Kendall]

Absolutely. It's more about a feeling. Feeling. You know what I mean?

[Jordan]

No, I know, I know, and I'm sorry. I feel like. But I remember I had that. I, like, cried you about it because I've been going to the gym for, like, three weeks, and I was like, why don't I have a six pack? And it's like, I know that's not what you're talking about, but I think there is this thing of, like, it's really hard to start a habit. So sometimes the first two weeks, you're like, well, what's the point of all this work if I don't feel any different? Yeah, but also, there's truth to, like, if you went, like, because of your feet injury, if you haven't been exercising for, like, a year and a half, going back, you're gonna be more tired.

[Kendall]

Yeah, but why am I breaking out so bad? I don't know. I'm just, like, in a mood.

[Jordan]

Do you know what I mean? No, I get it.

[Kendall]

It's just, like, a bunch of things. I'm just, like, in a mood, and I'm like, what's going on? Right? Why am I getting more sleep but feeling more tired?

[Jordan]

Well, you're probably getting worse sleep, too. Why?

[Kendall]

But, like, do you know what I mean?

[Jordan]

Our sleep schedule's been really bad, and.

[Kendall]

That has been your fault.

[Jordan]

No, it has.

[Kendall]

That's really been your fault. And that's actually pissing me off. And I want to talk to you about that.

[Jordan]

Oh, I regret bringing this up. No, just kidding. My back.

[Kendall]

What's going on?

[Jordan]

It's my farm app.

[Kendall]

Yeah, it's your heyday farm app. Because. And this is what's frustrating me about it. No, you will sit there and you'll want to do it and whatever. And then I'm like, we should go to bed. And you're like, what you keep saying to me is, I just had a surgery. And I'm like, no, that's.

[Jordan]

No, that's not what I Say, yes, it is. No, no, this is. What? Well, that's. Cuz I'm just trying to like. I'm like, okay, I don't want. I just had a surgery. No, I don't say that.

[Kendall]

Kendall, are you serious?

[Jordan]

Wait, do you mean when, like, I get. Want something? Like, I feel like. I feel like I just had a surgery, so get me this. No, but when?

[Kendall]

Every single night, which I do. I've gotten you everything you wanted. But every single night, I'm like, hey, we should probably start winding down. It's getting pretty late and you're still playing your game, and you go, yes, I just had a surgery.

[Jordan]

I understand what you're. Yes, I think I said in a different tone, so maybe that's why I didn't recognize it.

[Kendall]

And what's the tone you think you say it in?

[Jordan]

Well, Jordan, I just had a surgery, so.

[Kendall]

Oh, that feels like a worse tone than the one I use.

[Jordan]

No, so this is what I think. So when I got my surgery, my sleep schedule got really crazy, because first of all, I spent the first night in the hospital really scared. I was all by myself.

[Kendall]

You were not scared. And that was your dream come true.

[Jordan]

It was.

[Kendall]

You stayed in hospital. I had went to bed at like 8pm they gave you an iPad, you played your farming game, and then you woke up the next morning, like 6.

[Jordan]

No, I woke up at 3. I said, this is. I woke up at 3am and I was bright eyed, like, ready to roll. I watched Santa Clarita diet and played my farming game. No one pestered me. It was absolutely incredible. I tried to check in for a second night, and they said, that's not. This isn't a hotel, ma'am. So I had a wonderful time. Then I get home, I'm on oxy.

[Kendall]

Yep.

[Jordan]

For like a week and a half, I'm on Oxy. And so I am, like, sleeping constantly. Like, truly, like, I go to bed at 8pm, wake up at noon, am up for an hour like a baby, and then go back to sleep, wake up at 8pm, still go to sleep at midnight. I mean, I was sleeping 24 hours at a time. And so my sleep schedule is absolutely insane now. And I'm healing. So I've kind of, like, prepped my work so that I can take off work while I heal. So I also don't, like, have really any obligations right now. Sure, that's starting to change this week. But, like, for the last two weeks, I haven't really had anything, so it's kind of like the freaking Weekend all day long. And so I nap during the day, and then usually around midnight, I'm just, like, so not sleepy. And I do think this is something I. I do believe in, where it's like, if you really can't sleep, just enjoy it. Or it's like, if you can't sleep, don't just sit there and like, I agree. Miserable. Like, get cozy, turn on a show. Get a nice glass of water with Mio in it, which Jordan's been hating on me. I'm like, yeah, I put additives in my water because I'm a baby. I'm not drinking straight up water. I'm not disgusting. It's sick. I'm not doing that.

[Kendall]

Oh, yeah, drinking straight up water is disgusting.

[Jordan]

If there's cr. If there's not crystal light in my water, if it's not the color of a Gatorade, I'm not interested.

[Kendall]

Grow up.

[Jordan]

But, like, play your game on your phone and, like, enjoy it. Being awake at least. And if, you know, you can't fall asleep. So that's what I've been doing. I also went through one of my other phases where I read a bunch of Harry Potter fan fiction. Oh, I can't see. Say that we can cut that out.

[Kendall]

Okay. Sorry.

[Jordan]

I know we're not supposed to do edits, but.

[Kendall]

Okay.

[Jordan]

I'm sorry. What was I saying? Don't be mad.

[Kendall]

That's okay. I'm just thinking, come on, let's get back into it. I'll start. Yeah, but I'm like, hey, let's go to bed earlier. And then you're. You are like, you basically told me to off.

[Jordan]

I would. Oh, Jordan.

[Kendall]

But you do. Like, you're like, jordan, I just had surgery. And like, that is.

[Jordan]

Well, I guess for me, though, I'm like, why do I need. We don't have to fall asleep at the same time.

[Kendall]

Are you serious?

[Jordan]

What?

[Kendall]

Your farm game is so bright on your phone. And then a lot of times you won't have the lights on in the room and the TV's on. It's like, what do you mean? You don't have to fall asleep at the same time. You also won't let me sleep in a different room than you. That's true.

[Jordan]

You can sleep in different.

[Kendall]

Well, I would be very sad, but.

[Jordan]

You could do it.

[Kendall]

There have been times when I'm like.

[Jordan]

I don't know, Kendall. Sounds like my impression of Jill from Dance Moms.

[Kendall]

Oh, from Dance Moms. Kendall, there have been many times when I've been like, oh, well, you're still having fun out here on the couch. Why don't I just go to the room and sleep and you can sleep on the couch or vice versa. Like I can go sleep on the couch and you can sleep in here. And you're like, no, you're not going to bed without me.

[Jordan]

Well, here's what I'll say. Every night I stay up and what's next to me is this you sleeping so I know you can fall asleep.

[Kendall]

Sorry. What point are you trying to make right now?

[Jordan]

I don't know.

[Kendall]

Our sleep schedule is bad. It is your fault. What is the point?

[Jordan]

No, my sleep schedule is bad. I. Right now it's.

[Kendall]

I just think you're not being responsible with your sleep.

[Jordan]

No. Well, because it's hard when you don't have anything to do the next morning. But that's going to change. Cuz already I have this today and then tomorrow I'm filming all day.

[Kendall]

Well, and I'll tell you why it's going to change.

[Jordan]

Oh God.

[Kendall]

We just got a hatch alarm clock.

[Jordan]

Oh yeah.

[Kendall]

I had a gift card for a hatch alarm clock as a gift that I got for my birthday from an aunt and so I got one and now it just got here and now we have a hatch alarm clock. So I'm gonna set it up tonight. We'll see if the rain sounds in red light.

[Jordan]

I'm excited.

[Kendall]

Change the game for us.

[Jordan]

You know what's being a red light? What I really want.

[Kendall]

No, please.

[Jordan]

I want that face mask that shoots out red light. I thought I was gonna get it for my birthday and then I did it and I thought I was gonna get for Christmas and I didn't. And like, when am I just gonna have to buy it myself?

[Kendall]

I don't want to be rude. You don't have a good track record of wanting expensive trendy things and then getting them and then never using them.

[Jordan]

And then four months later being about my apple watch. Stop talking about my Apple watch.

[Kendall]

It's not just about your Apple watch. It's about a lot of things.

[Jordan]

What else? What else?

[Kendall]

There's many things that you are like, I have to have this. And then you get it. And then you're like, I don't care about this. I never wanted this. I never used this.

[Jordan]

Besides my apple watch, I can't think of anything.

[Kendall]

Why don't you use your Apple watch? Can we sell it?

[Jordan]

Surgery?

[Kendall]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Absolutely not. But do you know what I mean?

[Jordan]

I like my apple watch. This is what I actually do like my Apple Watch. This is why. I'll tell you why the Apple watch doesn't work. I'm a perfect. I'm not a perfectionist, but I get really like hyper focused on things. And so when I'm doing good with my Apple Watch and I'm getting my 10,000 steps a day, I'm like, great, I want to wear my Apple Watch. But then when I'm like sick or like I don't get my steps in and then I know the Apple watch knows. I like don't want to get back on my Apple watch because I feel like my Apple watch isn't going to tell me I did a good job. And I know that's so sick, but that's the reality of it.

[Kendall]

So we paid hundreds and hundreds of dollars for that.

[Jordan]

Right? But so I'll start using it again.

[Kendall]

You don't have to use it again. I'm like, let's say you love it but you never use it.

[Jordan]

Well, I forget about it also 100%.

[Kendall]

So what would happen is we would get the red light mask.

[Jordan]

No, I would not forget about my red light mask.

[Kendall]

I love you so much and I know you so well. You would use it two times. You would say, this is my new personality. And then you would put it in a cabinet because it would be. I would leave it sitting out exactly where you could see it and where you could use it. And you would go, oh, why is this sitting out? I don't want to see this. I don't want to see anything. And then you would put it in a cabinet and you would forget about it and you would never use it again.

[Jordan]

Here's why I don't think with that. I'm really good with my self care stuff.

[Kendall]

We have a lot of self care stuff you don't use. Like what? I got you this long hot water bottle thing that you like insisted you need.

[Jordan]

That's not self care, that's period care. That's menstrual cycle care.

[Kendall]

Okay, well you insisted you needed it. I got you that. You've never used it literally once.

[Jordan]

It's never been given to me filled up with hot water when I'm on my period.

[Kendall]

You've never ever used it and you've never asked for it.

[Jordan]

Okay, but there's a lot of things I do use. Listen, we all listen. I'm just saying don't sell my Apple Watch without asking me. That's what I'll say.

[Kendall]

I'm going to do it. No, you just don't Have a great track record of, like. And you also love, like, trends.

[Jordan]

Yeah, I'm trendy.

[Kendall]

You're very. You're extremely trendy. But you. But you don't have a. You know what I mean?

[Jordan]

My Care Bear socks on. I'm very trendy.

[Kendall]

She's wearing a sweatshirt that says, I need a Celsius. Yeah, you're just.

[Jordan]

My mom has said. My mom always said, since I was, like, five years old, she'd go, you know, Kendall, she's a retailer's dream, and I really am.

[Kendall]

And, hey, that's the damn truth.

[Jordan]

I'm sold. So easy on stuff. But I also like it. I like to be sold on a thing. Like, I want you to tell me all the way, something's gonna change my.

[Kendall]

But the hard thing about that is. And once again, like, this is. This is what's hard about it. You want to be sold on it. You get it. You love it. But then you're mad that you have it. You're mad that you have another thing, and you're like, I wish I didn't have another thing. Yeah, so that's the thing, because I'm. I would buy you anything you wanted, but it's like, then you get upset that you have it when you have it, and so it's a real kind of confusing paradox.

[Jordan]

That's because you want me to dispose of it in a responsible way. I used to just throw stuff out my window.

[Kendall]

Oh, Kendall will literally, like, dump it in the trash. I'm like, that's a printer queen. We're actually not allowed to throw that in the trash.

[Jordan]

Yeah, but what we do instead is, like, the vacuum is broken. Well, you know what? Actually, to be honest, you guys, I'm not bringing up the vacuum because I.

[Kendall]

I know you're wrong about the vacuum, too.

[Jordan]

No, but I don't.

[Kendall]

Tell them how many nice vacuum cleaners. Tell them how many nice vacuum cleaners I bought. You tell them how many nice vacuum cleaners. Yeah.

[Jordan]

3.

[Kendall]

I bought Kendall three different extremely expensive vacuums. This.

[Jordan]

I just said I didn't want to get into the fucking vacuum thing.

[Kendall]

Kendall, yours. I know. Your mom is literally. Kendall.

[Jordan]

You pick them.

[Kendall]

Let's take.

[Jordan]

No, I'll do an old. Let's take it to a vacuum repair man. I'm like, a vacuum repair man will.

[Kendall]

Use $600 vacuum cleaner two times and then be like, it's broken. Throw it away. It's broken. Throw it out the car window.

[Jordan]

No, it's not. I used the Dyson for a long time. That thing Was.

[Kendall]

What's a long time?

[Jordan]

Six months. And no for a Dyson vacuum. I've talked. I swear to God, Jordan, I've talked to people about this because my mom growing up had the same vacuum. All growing up, it was plug in. I'm telling you, there's. There is quality control not happening in the vacuum department. Something is going on. I have a vacuum for six months and it breaks. Not just like, oh, it's not suctioning good. The. The spinny thing stopped working. So then I go to the Dyson website. Well, first of all, I couldn't get a refund.

[Kendall]

Wait, wait. We have to pause. We have to pause. We have to pause because this is my problem. You don't want to do maintenance on anything. So you're like, there's a quality control issue. Yes. Vacuums are not made as well now as they used to be, but at the same time, you don't want to take care of it the way it's supposed to.

[Jordan]

But I've gotten way better. How?

[Kendall]

You've gotten way better about that.

[Jordan]

I used to. Yeah. I used to not.

[Kendall]

But you know what I mean.

[Jordan]

So you.

[Kendall]

Yeah, well, you wouldn't empty the bag.

[Jordan]

You wouldn't store it properly.

[Kendall]

Whatever.

[Jordan]

Some lessons. Whatever.

[Kendall]

What'd you say?

[Jordan]

Like, in the middle of me talking. Whatever. Okay, I guess we're done.

[Kendall]

Damn.

[Jordan]

Whatever.

[Kendall]

You really slipped out. I didn't mean to do that. I think I was saying something else and not responding to that, but do you know what I mean? I'm like. You would. You'd be like. And you're like, well, quality control. I'm like, yeah, that's true. But also, you are not taking care of something the way they explicitly tell you to take care of it. You're not storing it properly. You're not cleaning it properly, emptying it properly. Like, all these things. And then you're like, it's broken. Buy me a new one.

[Jordan]

I do bad. Yes. Oh, I am just bad. Whatever. I do bad. 100%. What? I don't like. It's like, okay, I up. Our vacuum's broken. So now let's do.

[Kendall]

So now let's.

[Jordan]

Now let's do the three more times. Shut up. Let's do. No, this is what it is. It's like my vacuum breaks because I did something bad. Even like, okay, I threw it down the stairs in a fit of rage. Oh, Kendall. Yeah, it's broken. Terrible on me, 100%. So now this is the point in our home where we do the Jordan Myrick ceremony. Of making ourselves feel better. Where we keep the broken. We keep the broken vacuum in the closet. We don't have a vacuum anymore. We don't buy another one because we're too guilty because we fucked up with the last vacuum. So. So now we just don't vacuum anymore. We just removed it from the cleaning routine. And every time I go to vacuum, I realize, oh, I can't use this vacuum. Cause it's broken. And then I say, jordan, we need a vacuum. And you go, you don't take care of the vacuums you have. And I said, great, no more vacuuming. I get it.

[Kendall]

I want you to fix the vacuum cleaner. It's so the fact that you're making fun of me for suggesting to take the vacuum to a vacuum repair person or an electronics repair person, that's also.

[Jordan]

An old time to do. I can't lift the vacuum right now, Jordan.

[Kendall]

I just had surgery. I know, sweetheart. I know. And if only this hadn't been an issue for the last five. Five years. But it's just like, people also used to take care of their things. And you are. I'm sorry. I'm gonna put you on blast in this way. Very Gen Z. Very, like, disposable. Like, everything is Sheen to you. We don't shop at Sheen, so don't get mad at us.

[Jordan]

Don't put me in that.

[Kendall]

But that is how you treat things. You're like, everything is a paper towel. And I'm like, no, you have to take care of things for them to last.

[Jordan]

But also, this is what's hard, people. That's Gen Z. I'm like, no, that's a person in their, like, early 20s. Like, you guys. I could say the same thing about millennials. Fifteen years ago, I'd be like, it's very millennial to not pay your medical bills. It's like, yeah, that's a bad example. Yeah, they don't have to pay your medical bills.

[Kendall]

She is like, it's different. It's different. Just take the. Take the L. Like millennials.

[Jordan]

No, she is bad. I'm just saying, like, being not responsible with your stuff is very a young person's thing. So I've gotten older, I've gotten more responsible.

[Kendall]

But you're still acting like that. And you're too old, and you're too married. You're too old, and you're too married. What do you want me to say? You get married, you have to take your vacuum.

[Jordan]

Buy me a new vacuum. I will never ask for anything again.

[Kendall]

I don't.

[Jordan]

I Mean a vacuum. I'll ask for other stuff, but you know what?

[Kendall]

Yeah. Oh, so if I buy you another.

[Jordan]

Wait, you're gonna take the vacuum to the vacuum guy?

[Kendall]

What?

[Jordan]

You told me you were gonna take the vacuum.

[Kendall]

I told you to find a vacuum.

[Jordan]

Guy, and you said, you tell. You said. I. I said, can you take the.

[Kendall]

This is. Fuck you. I didn't even know what's going on.

[Jordan]

Fucking vacuum. I feel so trapped. I'm, like, at home looking at the dust bunnies. I'm like, oh, God, I wish I could throw away this vacuum and get a new one, but I can't help.

[Kendall]

Listen, I'm sure this is going on Patreon, so y'all are the real ones, and you know what's up. But if this were to go on YouTube, the problem with people being like Jordan is practicing financial abuse by not buying Kendall drowning in dust. Yeah, Kendall. Kendall's being abused. How many vacuum cleaners is the number of vacuum cleaners? At what point do I say, kendall, you're being ridiculous? Yeah. Literally, it feels like I'm like, we. We are. We've, at this point, four vacuums.

[Jordan]

No, look, it's more sustainable to take it to a vacuum person, but sometimes I'm like, I don't want to.

[Kendall]

I don't want to do that. I know someone I didn't know that existed.

[Jordan]

I'm like, what is it? A shoe? What is a. What do they call it? A shoe cobbler. A cobbler. That's what it feels like to be a repairman. I don't even know where is that.

[Kendall]

You sound like you're 14 years old. What do you mean? You pay for our house. What do you mean, you didn't know someone fixes vacuum cleaners?

[Jordan]

It feels so small. Specific. I don't know. I'm like, is there that many broken vacuum cleaners? Well, in this day and age, I bet.

[Kendall]

So listen, I'm gonna get back into it, Kendall, watch a TikTok about it, okay?

[Jordan]

And then you can watch a TikTok about it.

[Kendall]

And then there has been no question. We haven't answered one single question. We've just absolutely lost our minds.

[Jordan]

Next question.

[Kendall]

No, Kendall, there's no question. Whatever. We're on one today, y'all. Oh, but really, I do wanna know. What's the number of vacuum cleaners where you're like, this is unreasonable. And I'm not asking you, Kendall. I'm asking the people out there. I know for you, the limit does not exist. I want to know at what point are you allowed to be mad at your partner for the way that they're treating vacuum cleaners?

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[Jordan]

You can be mad, but I need a vacuum.

[Kendall]

Fix the one. Fix the four we have, all right? We have so many.

[Jordan]

I. Oh, God. I can't even. I'm getting worked up. I can't even do this right now.

[Kendall]

This person wants to know.

[Jordan]

You guys knew. Just kidding.

[Kendall]

Knew what? Knew what?

[Jordan]

How many vacuums are in my closet. Like I opened my. It's like a cemetery of vacuums.

[Kendall]

I open my closet, but it does not have to be that way, baby.

[Jordan]

It's so embarrassing to have eight vacuums in my closet and so much dust on the fucking floor.

[Kendall]

So we've had three.

[Jordan]

No, no, no, no, no. Because you don't count a hand vac.

[Kendall]

Of course we count.

[Jordan]

No. Jordan.

[Kendall]

Kendall.

[Jordan]

Wake up. Dude, that is.

[Kendall]

Sorry.

[Jordan]

I've called you dude so many times.

[Kendall]

I don't care. You don't like it when I call you dude, but I don't care if you do it.

[Jordan]

There has been two vacuums. The Dyson, which is not my fault. The red one, which I used for three years. My mom got it for me when I lived in New York, so I had that. Oh, maybe even four years. And then I had the Dyson. And then I had a hand vac that was. I lost the charger too. I ordered a new charger. It didn't work with it. So then I just.

[Kendall]

And did you return the charger that didn't work with it? Look, I want to say that you have broken or messed up or lost the Charger for or not known how to use. Whatever. At this point. Five vacuums total. No, I don't multiple.

[Jordan]

I think three.

[Kendall]

Two full size vacuums, two hand vacuums.

[Jordan]

Two hand vacuums.

[Kendall]

No, one hand vacuum. One.

[Jordan]

My first one doesn't count because I had it for four years and started smoking.

[Kendall]

One hand vacuum and then one couch cleaner thing. Oh, that green machine insisted I buy you.

[Jordan]

Oh, my.

[Kendall]

Also, we have now the red Bissell thing.

[Jordan]

There's two of those. I forgot about those.

[Kendall]

So we've had two of these, like, spray wet vac things.

[Jordan]

It might have been six, actually, that you've.

[Kendall]

That you insist are broken beyond repair, even though you won't really work on them and you won't take them anywhere.

[Jordan]

Let me take them out to the garage.

[Kendall]

And then we also have, like a little Roomba type thing that according to you, doesn't work.

[Jordan]

Okay, I didn't buy that.

[Kendall]

That was a gift. But you also, as another one you insisted does not work. I'm just like, what's the limit? Why am I.

[Jordan]

Stop making vacuums that connect to WI Fi. Stop it.

[Kendall]

Listen, it's Kendall. Literally. It's not. What's going on?

[Jordan]

Let's get one question in.

[Kendall]

Is not okay. Okay.

[Jordan]

This is why I said I don't want to talk about the vacuums.

[Kendall]

Because I knew. I said, I think it's good. I've had a good time.

[Jordan]

If we talk about the vacuums, we.

[Kendall]

Are going to talk about it. I need to it out. I need someone to hear me because I need you on the comments. To be like, that is simply too many vacuums. I need y'all to have my back.

[Jordan]

Well, because, you know, the two couch ones, that's.

[Kendall]

It's too many vacuums. It doesn't make sense. It's not. Well, and Kendall is financially taking advantage of me.

[Jordan]

Shut up. Whatever.

[Kendall]

Okay, this person wants to know, how do you feel about social media couple influencers? Is it healthy?

[Jordan]

No. Us included.

[Kendall]

Just kidding.

[Jordan]

No, it's. It's not healthy. And also, well, this is the difference. We are not Internet couples for being cute. Like, we're not like.

[Kendall]

Wait. We're not Internet couples for being cute. Kendall's fully lost it. We are not famous.

[Jordan]

I didn't want to say famous because we're not.

[Kendall]

We're not famous.

[Jordan]

I. I don't know what word to use. We're not Internet famous, quote, unquote. Because we're like a cute couple. I think that's where it gets really weird, because it's like, we are Dating? Yes. And we. I think. Right. What do you think?

[Kendall]

Yeah, we're engaged.

[Jordan]

We're engaged to be married. And we are also separately, both comedians who also have worked together previous to this podcast. I mean, we. We do live shows around LA all the time. Like, we work together. So I would do this podcast very similarly with a best friend. Like, you know what I mean? Like, if I was doing this with another person who I was not dating, it would be a very similar podcast, give or take some intimate stories. And so I think that's why it. But you and I do have to have conversations where we're like, how do we not. I'm sorry. How do we not. How do we not. Sorry. Got distracted.

[Kendall]

I smelled my shirt because I thought for one second my shirt smelled weird, so I took a small little whiff of it, and now Kendall, like, can't keep going with the story. This is not fair to me. And now I have to put myself on blast. No. Because I'm going to a play after this. I just wanted to see how I smelled.

[Jordan]

I didn't know.

[Kendall]

I'm getting upset. I'm getting really upset, you guys.

[Jordan]

Jordan, like, literally, like, rubs her hand.

[Kendall]

On her armpit and then on my shirt.

[Jordan]

Sorry. Yeah, the shirt part of your.

[Kendall]

Not my bare armpit.

[Jordan]

Oh, yeah. But so then I, like, laugh, just, like, I didn't mean to, but then Jordan's looking at me like, don't, Don't. No. And I, like, can't. Like, I can't anyways.

[Kendall]

But yes. No, Kendall's right, because also, like, my job is, like, in a lot of ways, like, I do comedy on the Internet, right? Like, I have a TV show that's on the Internet. I have it. I'm on a show that's on the Internet. Like, I'm already on the Internet. And we don't make, like, couples content.

[Jordan]

We don't actually really at all besides our podcast.

[Kendall]

But also, I want to say, like, I think. I'm sure, like, anything. I think there's a healthy way to do it and an unhealthy way to do it. I think that you have to be really good at putting boundaries in place to separate business and pleasure. And I think Kendall and I are already good at that because we are in an industry where your job is your hobby is your lifestyle. As comedians, it all can be very kind of tied into one versus it's so much easier to be, like, at work, I'm an accountant, and at home, I love knitting. Like, those two things feel very separate.

[Jordan]

And so we do things like we have meetings, like, we'll put on the calendar. Like, we have a meeting this day for happy life. Happy life versus, like, every time we're out together on a date, we talk about happy wife, happy life.

[Kendall]

Yes. So you. I think you just have to be really good at doing those boundaries. If you're not, I think it'll be detrimental to your relationship. If you are, maybe you can do it. So. But I'm not, like, huge into couples con. I don't watch couples who. Their thing is just being a couple. I'll watch couples where I like them for other stuff and they happen to be a couple. But personally, you know, I'm not just tuning in for. For a couple or. Once again, it's like, I might listen to something like this. I might listen to a podcast, an advice podcast or something. That would be one thing. But I'm not just going, like, I don't like, you know, we've talked about. We don't like couple prank channels and things like that.

[Jordan]

I think it is just so hard to navigate because I think, like, we already are set up for success because we do what we do for a living separate from being a couple. And there's so much to navigate in that. Like, there's such an understanding when you're in an artistic industry where it's like kind of a work comes first mentality. Obviously, not. Like, if Jordan was in the hospital and I booked him commercial, I would go see, like, obviously there are lines where I would put Jordan first. But we just, like, our life is very much about our work. Like, we work all the time, and it's very important to us. And so I think that with that understanding comes an already natural way of setting boundaries. But I think if you're just like a random couple from Ohio, that then, like, people are like, you guys are really cute. That's, like, a lot of skills to learn really fast because you're making a.

[Kendall]

Lot of public money off of it. So there's a lot of incentive to, like, do anything to make the money. Because let's say you haven't had money before, and now all of a sudden you're making money. So there's like, more incentive to kind of, like, put your relationship at stake.

[Jordan]

I mean, that's like with the family channels, that's what's so hard. It's like, I mean, they're so bad for a million reasons, but it's like, when you start making money off, you know, what's gonna go viral, what's gonna make you so much money. And you know that if you film, if you put as a thumbnail your kid in the hospital, I don't know, it's just. It's so bad. So then you start to kind of. And people talk about this, like, perpetuate drama, perpetuate, like all this stuff so that you can get more views. I think it's just a lot of skills you would have to learn. I think there's a way to do it in a healthy way. Like, I see Rose and Rosie and I feel like they seem to have a healthy relationship, but there's no way. There's absolutely no way to know because I don't know them personally.

[Kendall]

But that's the big thing to remember. You don't know the ins and outs of anyone's relationship, if you know what I mean. Because, like, you know, people on the Internet want to think that they have us all figured out, but people can.

[Jordan]

Put on a good show. I mean, there are people who definitely do a really sweet outro and the second the camera turns off, they're like, crying.

[Kendall]

Yeah, now that's not us. Because we tell you about our vacuums and me smelling my armpit and you got kind of all that. But yeah, I'm just like, you don't know. Like, relationships are complicated and complex. You can't know every aspect of that. So it's not always easy to know. Like, there might be couples who, like, I don't like their content or the way that they interact on camera, but that doesn't mean that I know anything, like, truly about their relationship.

[Jordan]

Well, but also, you have to, like, be really secure as people already because you're gonna deal with so many things on the Internet. I mean, even. We've been talking about this a lot recently. When we get hate on, like a YouTube video, it's like, if you're in a couple and then one person, that couple people are like, I feel like there's so many Internet couples like this where people like, I love her. Like, there's like a favorite or whatever, and then the other one gets hate or vice versa, and then they switch. I don't know. And you guys can't handle being like, we know how we feel about ourselves and each other. So whatever these random 12 year olds on the Internet think, doesn't matter.

[Kendall]

Yes.

[Jordan]

That can cause some really big beef.

[Kendall]

100%.

[Jordan]

Yeah.

[Kendall]

100%. All right, well, this has been one of our most unhinged Patreon episodes. We're fully out of it. I'm so sorry. But I hope you liked it. And we'll see you next week.

[Jordan]

Woohoo.