61: SHOULD You Be Fighting With Your Partner?

Summary

Happy Wife Happy Life - Episode 61: "SHOULD You Be Fighting With Your Partner?"

Hosts: Kendahl Landreth & Jordan Myrick
Release Date: April 28, 2025

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1. Welcome to the New Studio

Kendahl Landreth and Jordan Myrick kick off Episode 61 by expressing their excitement about recording from a new studio. The enhanced setup includes projecting the lesbian flag colors on the wall and featuring their logo, which they describe as “really incredible” and “something you've never seen before” (01:21). This new environment fosters a more professional atmosphere, adding a fresh dynamic to their discussions.

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2. Personal Anecdotes and Updates

The hosts delve into personal stories, starting with Kendall’s recent horseback riding lesson. She shares her exhilarating experience with Montana, the horse, highlighting the emotional and physical joy it brought her:

“I was trotting with Montana and what? I came home and I was happier than I'VE ever been.”
— Kendall Landrelth 02:02

Jordan humorously contrasts this expensive hobby with his own preferences, emphasizing Kendall’s newfound passion and his apprehension about her potentially wanting to buy a horse (02:31).

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3. Common Sources of Conflict

The core of the episode revolves around typical disagreements partners face. Kendall and Jordan candidly discuss their recurring arguments, providing relatable insights for listeners.

a. Eating Leftovers

A significant point of contention is their differing attitudes toward leftovers. Jordan humorously admits:

“I will say confidently, Kendall's wrong and I'm right.”
— Jordan Myrick 10:39

Kendall explains her germaphobic tendencies and discomfort with consuming leftovers, leading to friction when Jordan prefers to meal prep while she opts out:

“I feel like I do have the capability to. But I think it would be really easy.”
— Kendall Landrelth 13:43

This disagreement underscores the balance between practicality and personal comfort in household routines.

b. Morning Alarms and Sleep Issues

Their differing sleep habits also spark debates. Kendall’s struggle with early alarms contrasts with Jordan’s preference for a more relaxed wake-up routine:

“Every time you've ever done that, it goes off at 6am it wakes me up. I'm awake.”
— Jordan Myrick 24:14

Kendall acknowledges the difficulty in adjusting her sleeping patterns, highlighting the challenges of synchronizing daily routines in a relationship.

c. Sun Protection and Health Concerns

With Kendall's lupus and heightened sensitivity to sunlight, discussions about sun protection become a frequent topic:

“You wear a little bit of sunscreen on the front of your face.”
— Jordan Myrick 19:05

Their debates on appropriate sun protection measures reflect deeper concerns about health and well-being within the relationship.

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4. Listener Questions and Relationship Advice

The episode shifts focus to addressing listener-submitted questions about fighting in relationships, providing practical advice based on the hosts' experiences.

a. Is It Bad If You Never Argue?

The most common question posed is whether a relationship devoid of arguments is problematic. Jordan emphatically responds:

“Yes, it is. It's bad. One of you is keeping something in.”
— Jordan Myrick 32:27

Kendall adds that in their relationship, arguing is essential due to their passionate personalities:

“We are very passionate people. We always have the most intense emotions about it.”
— Kendall Landrelth 33:26

This discussion emphasizes the importance of communication and emotional expression in maintaining a healthy partnership.

b. Gender Differences in Fighting Styles

Addressing whether genders fight differently, the hosts share their observations:

“Men do like to do this thing where they get very internal in a way that feels kind of embarrassing to me.”
— Jordan Myrick 40:38

Kendall reflects on societal expectations placed on women versus men, noting how these pressures influence their respective approaches to conflict.

c. Don't Go to Bed Angry

The hosts debate the common advice of not going to bed angry. Jordan advocates for resolving conflicts promptly:

“I don't believe in going to bed angry because I think it's pointless.”
— Jordan Myrick 46:15

Kendall shares her tendency to cool off and revisit the issue later, acknowledging both the benefits and drawbacks of this approach:

“I do not think going to bed angry is a good thing, but I do think we've...”
— Kendall Landrelth 46:59

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5. Navigating Conflict Resolution

Kendall and Jordan outline their personalized methods for resolving disagreements, emphasizing mutual respect and understanding.

Kendall describes strategies inspired by her therapist, such as taking a walk to cool down while assuring her partner of her intention to resolve the issue:

“I just want you to know I very much value this conversation, and I'm looking forward to finishing it in a couple minutes.”
— Kendall Landrelth 26:06

Jordan highlights the importance of not taking battles personally and striving for resolutions without prolonging arguments:

“Let your partner go on the walk... make a plan before you're arguing.”
— Jordan Myrick 50:12

Their collaborative approach underscores the significance of tailored conflict resolution techniques that respect each partner's emotional needs.

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6. Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Wrapping up the episode, the hosts reiterate the value of engaging in constructive arguments as a means of growth and understanding within a relationship. They encourage listeners to embrace their unique dynamics and seek balance in their interactions.

Kendall expresses gratitude for their supportive partnership:

“We have such a balance because I think we are two ends of the spectrum.”
— Kendall Landrelth 35:35

Jordan emphasizes the importance of holding each other to high standards while maintaining mutual respect:

“Hold yourself to a high standard. Hold your partner to a high standard, but for both of you.”
— Jordan Myrick 36:53

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Notable Quotes

• Jordan Myrick [10:39]: “I will say confidently, Kendall's wrong and I'm right.”
• Kendall Landrelth [02:02]: “I was trotting with Montana and what? I came home and I was happier than I'VE ever been.”
• Jordan Myrick [32:27]: “Yes, it is. It's bad. One of you is keeping something in.”
• Jordan Myrick [46:15]: “I don't believe in going to bed angry because I think it's pointless.”
• Kendall Landrelth [35:35]: “We have such a balance because I think we are two ends of the spectrum.”

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Final Remarks

Kendall and Jordan conclude the episode by inviting listeners to engage with them on social media and subscribe to their Patreon for additional content. They express enthusiasm for their new studio and the continued journey of exploring relationship dynamics through their unfiltered and heartfelt conversations.

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Stay Connected:
Follow Happy Wife Happy Life on Instagram or email your questions at [e-mail].

Happy listening!

Transcript

[Jordan Myrick]

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[Kendall Landris]

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[Jordan Myrick]

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[Kendall Landris]

Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

[Jordan Myrick]

Welcome to Happy Wife, Happy Life.

[Kendall Landris]

We're your hosts. I'm Kendall Landris.

[Jordan Myrick]

I'm Jordan Myrick.

[Kendall Landris]

We are two incredibly unqualified but deeply.

[Jordan Myrick]

In love comedians who are here to help you with all things relationships. And on today's episode, we're talking fighting. Kendall, Jordan, we're back. And I don't know if you guys noticed this, but we're in a new studio.

[Kendall Landris]

We're in a new studio. We're so excited. I feel so professional. We've got our logo behind us. If you're just listening.

[Jordan Myrick]

Yeah.

[Kendall Landris]

Just try to picture a really incredible logo.

[Jordan Myrick]

Yeah. Like nothing you've ever seen before.

[Kendall Landris]

We've also had them project the lesbian flag colors onto the wall.

[Jordan Myrick]

Yeah. They had it set like this when we came in. I don't know if that was purposeful or not, but it did feel very welcoming and is ultimately why we chose the spot.

[Kendall Landris]

How was your week?

[Jordan Myrick]

My week was good. I spent it all with you.

[Kendall Landris]

Yes. I'm really just asking you that so you'll ask me how my week was so I can tell.

[Jordan Myrick]

Yes. Kendall. How. Kendall, how was your horseback riding lesson?

[Kendall Landris]

That was incredible. I had a horseback riding lesson on Friday. What was that, a week ago now?

[Jordan Myrick]

That was four days ago.

[Kendall Landris]

Four days ago. It was one of the best moments of my life. It is really cool as an adult to be like, I found a new passion. I got on that horse. Her name was Montana. She was grumpy. She was old. She did not want to be there, but she was so smart. And they had me by the end of my 30 minute lesson, I was trotting with Montana and what? I came home and I was happier than I'VE ever been.

[Jordan Myrick]

She really found great joy in it. Of course. America's most expensive hobby, equestrian, anything. And.

[Kendall Landris]

And it felt expensive. I will say, you pull in, you're like, this is an expensive hobby. Every person there with their child. You were like, that person owns JetBlue or something. Sure felt very expensive. It was one of those things where they were like, show up 15 minutes early so you can sign paperwork. I arrived 15 minutes early. Everyone is looking at me like, why are you here so early?

[Jordan Myrick]

This is my biggest pet peeve. Do not ask me to come to something early. Because if you're asking me to show up 15 minutes early, I'll probably show up 20 minutes early. Exactly.

[Kendall Landris]

And I did, because I was expecting for some reason. I'm always expecting at the 15 minute early mark. Someone being like, where are you? You don't even get a lesson. We're revoking it. Like, I'm expecting someone to be really aggressive and no one's ever there.

[Jordan Myrick]

Yeah, absolutely. So I hate that. I'm like, either. You know, I don't. It feels like, ultimately feels like gaslighting. I'm like, don't tell me to be there 15 minutes early. And then when I get there 15 minutes early, be like, well, and I'll.

[Kendall Landris]

Tell you, being early for a horseback riding lesson is maybe the most embarrassing thing you can do because it's nerve wracking. I don't know the protocol. I don't know what you're supposed to do. I was carrying 800 things. I brought a water bottle, which once. Once I was next to the horse, I was like, why would I have brought a water bottle? What, are you gonna bring the water bottle on the horse? Or I'm gonna have the coach be like, oh, hand me my water bottle. It was just embarrassing.

[Jordan Myrick]

That does not feel like that's a 30 minute lesson.

[Kendall Landris]

It is. It felt crazy.

[Jordan Myrick]

You can't hold a. Hold a water bottle on a horse.

[Kendall Landris]

No, Jordan. Oh, my God.

[Jordan Myrick]

No.

[Kendall Landris]

You can't hold a water bottle on a horse. You have way too much going on. You're holding the reins. You cannot hold a water bottle. But I arrived and I was standing in the office and people kept coming in, and I just kept saying sorry to them as they would walk through the door.

[Jordan Myrick]

Well, Kendall apologized to everybody. I can't tell you how often a small child runs into Kendall, like, at the grocery store or whatever. She looks at the child and she goes, I'm sorry. And I'm like, that's a child. Stop apologizing to Them. I know.

[Kendall Landris]

I just. It's an instinct. So I kept apologizing to people. Finally, at the exact time, my less someone was like, hi, are you here for a horseback riding lesson? Then they were like, well, you can go wait next to the stables. So I'm in a helmet. I have my rider's boots on, which I gotta get my own. They're pretty cute, I will say. And I just stood there by myself. And it was deeply embarrassing. But I'm now addicted. I've signed up for two more lessons, and I think it might be a big part of my life.

[Jordan Myrick]

I'm really happy for you.

[Kendall Landris]

And you're really scared because you're so scared I'm gonna wanna buy a horse.

[Jordan Myrick]

I'm not scared you're gonna wanna buy a horse. You do want to buy a horse, but we're not gonna buy a horse. We live in an apartment in the Valley. An option.

[Kendall Landris]

There's a stable very close to our.

[Jordan Myrick]

House, and you don't need to own a horse. Like, why? To me, that feels like people who own private jets. I'm like, you're trying to prove something to someone.

[Kendall Landris]

Like, horses are just. You can't have a relationship with a private jet unless you're that one guy who dated his car. Do you know what I'm talking?

[Jordan Myrick]

Oh, for my strange addiction.

[Kendall Landris]

Yeah.

[Jordan Myrick]

Yeah. Of course.

[Kendall Landris]

Unless you're him, you cannot have a relationship with a private jet. You can have a very. A bonded relationship to a horse.

[Jordan Myrick]

Yeah, but you could have a bonded relationship to a horse that you don't own.

[Kendall Landris]

But then I'm not its main. I'm its side bitch. And I'm not interested in being a horse's side bitch.

[Jordan Myrick]

Okay.

[Kendall Landris]

But anyways, I'm addicted to horseback riding. It's everything to me. And this kind of is a great segue because when I do eventually force you to buy me a horse, we're.

[Jordan Myrick]

Gonna fight about it.

[Kendall Landris]

We're gonna fight about it. And this week we're talking about what we fight about, what we really fight about.

[Jordan Myrick]

We actually had a conversation this morning where we made a list of things we fight about to bring to the podcast.

[Kendall Landris]

So we had a great morning. We didn't fight at all. We didn't bring up anything.

[Jordan Myrick]

No.

[Kendall Landris]

Anything sensitive at all.

[Jordan Myrick]

Smooth sa. No arguing. It was awesome.

[Kendall Landris]

I will say we've gotten a lot better at fighting.

[Jordan Myrick]

I would say I think we've mastered fighting.

[Kendall Landris]

Well, I don't know if I would go that far, but I do think we've made an immense progress yeah. Fighting is a very hard skill. I was saying this to you the other day, is that fighting is something you grow up and you don't really know what is good or bad. Like most things, even if your family is bad at something, they. You know. I'm trying to think of an example that's not specific to my family. But if your family's on drugs, for example, you know, oh, you're not supposed to be on drugs. You know what I mean? Okay. Fighting. If your family's bad at fighting, they're never telling you we're really bad at fighting, so you just assume that's how you argue.

[Jordan Myrick]

Oh, sure. I see.

[Kendall Landris]

Do you know what I mean?

[Jordan Myrick]

I was very confused, but then I caught up.

[Kendall Landris]

You really learn by watching how to fight via your family. And I think it is something that it takes a lot to learn. What's the proper and healthy way to fight?

[Jordan Myrick]

Well, also, your family is fighting incorrectly. If you're over the age of 20 because your parents have not been to therapy, maybe these younger generations that are children now will have therapized parents, but none of us do. My family. Silent treatment.

[Kendall Landris]

Oh, man.

[Jordan Myrick]

Oh, silent treatment. And I'm not mad. I'm just disappointed.

[Kendall Landris]

Oh, man.

[Jordan Myrick]

You've lost our trust. That was a big one in our house. You've lost our trust. My dad will bring up things now I'm 32 years old. My dad will bring up things now that I did when I was 12.

[Kendall Landris]

Yeah. How dare you?

[Jordan Myrick]

To this day, one of them is the time that I said a curse word in a sketch video that we were filming in a car.

[Kendall Landris]

What was it?

[Jordan Myrick]

What?

[Kendall Landris]

What was the curse word?

[Jordan Myrick]

I'm not even gonna say it because I'm too scared of my dad. It was G.D. that's all I'll say. G D. Everyone here knows what word it was.

[Kendall Landris]

It was H E double hockey.

[Jordan Myrick]

It was G D. And my dad. Which is also weird because my parents aren't religious. But my dad was like, that's disrespectful to.

[Kendall Landris]

Right.

[Jordan Myrick]

My dad hates disrespect to groups of people at large. So my dad was like, that's disrespectful to people who believe in God.

[Kendall Landris]

Well, I remember. I have a distinct memory as a kid. I've told you this when I was in school and I said I was a really good kid. I feel like I did not. I would never have cursed in front of a teacher if I'd known it was a curse word. I said, this sucks about something, and I was joking. I wasn't even in a bad mood. I was just like, this sucks. And my teacher, he was like, don't you ever say that again. And it's ingrained in my brain because I was so traumatized by him being mad at me. And looking back, I'm like, did he think I was saying, this sucks dick.

[Jordan Myrick]

Yeah. Or this sucks ass? Right.

[Kendall Landris]

Why would I be saying that?

[Jordan Myrick]

But that's what. That's the. It's an abbreviation.

[Kendall Landris]

He thought I walked up to my teacher in third grade and went, this sucks ass.

[Jordan Myrick]

No, but I think he's like, this sucks is short for right? This sucks dick. Yeah, I guess. I don't know.

[Kendall Landris]

I never said it again.

[Jordan Myrick]

You had like a million older siblings, though, so I feel like you were doing and saying a lot of things you shouldn't have done.

[Kendall Landris]

Well, it was hard to know what's allowed because my siblings weren't just a couple years older, they were way older. They were way older than me. So, for example, I remember one time I went to a Cobra Starship concert with my older sister. I bought merch there like everyone else. I wore it to second grade the next day and it had like, fuck your bitch written on the top in really small letters. And I got in trouble for that.

[Jordan Myrick]

Yeah.

[Kendall Landris]

And I was like, I had no idea that was inappropriate. But it was so normalized in my family because I had an older sibling.

[Jordan Myrick]

That's why you can't have age gaps that big between your kids.

[Kendall Landris]

You cannot, once you stop explaining.

[Jordan Myrick]

Stop. Right? Don't, you know, wear a condom.

[Kendall Landris]

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[Jordan Myrick]

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[Kendall Landris]

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[Kendall Landris]

Yes, exactly. Exactly.

[Jordan Myrick]

You know what I mean, I do.

[Kendall Landris]

I do know what you mean.

[Jordan Myrick]

Yeah. But you are a beautiful accident. I love you.

[Kendall Landris]

Thank you so much.

[Jordan Myrick]

Okay, let's look at the things that we argue about. Oh, this is the first one. Eating leftovers is a big point of contention in our house.

[Kendall Landris]

Yeah.

[Jordan Myrick]

I will say confidently, kendall's wrong and I'm right.

[Kendall Landris]

Okay.

[Jordan Myrick]

And the argument is always, we have leftovers or we have things we need to eat. And Kendall's like, I'm not in the mood.

[Kendall Landris]

Yeah, I'm not in the mood. Right.

[Jordan Myrick]

But also, a lot of times we have leftovers because we've gone out to eat, and Kendall's like, been like, well, let's order a bunch and then we'll take the rest home. Or.

[Kendall Landris]

I love to say that. I say, let's get 12 entree.

[Jordan Myrick]

Yeah. And we'll just take it home and we'll meal prep it later. We'll just eat it later, we'll take it home. And then once we do, the next day, Kendall's like, I'm not in the mood.

[Kendall Landris]

Well, I'm. I'm a. This is before we met. This was how I bought groceries. I go to the store, I buy $200 worth of produce, I put it in my fridge, I feel proud of myself. I order in for the rest of the week, and then I throw that produce away.

[Jordan Myrick]

And you were in $30,000 worth of credit card debt.

[Kendall Landris]

Yes.

[Jordan Myrick]

That's not an exaggeration.

[Kendall Landris]

That is how I did it. And I do have. I struggle a little with germaphobia, and I get really freaked by eating leftovers. I get freaked out that there's some. It grosses me out.

[Jordan Myrick]

Don't make this about your mental illness.

[Kendall Landris]

No, you can't.

[Jordan Myrick]

Then I'm the villain.

[Kendall Landris]

Comment on it. Because it's a mental.

[Jordan Myrick]

Yes, I know. And then I become the villain. But this is my thing. Then we have to stop getting 400 entrees at a restaurant.

[Kendall Landris]

But that's okay. That's understandable. But I also think even when people make. I don't like when we've made something at home and everyone's kind of breathed around it.

[Jordan Myrick]

But I don't do that anymore. Because you're so sensitive to it.

[Kendall Landris]

I know.

[Jordan Myrick]

I just think that you have to use what you have, and I really try to accommodate. I make sure that when we have people over to eat, I serve everyone. No one goes near the food but me. I try to put things away the second they're finished. I freeze things instead of just putting them in the fridge because you're like, but I still think it's not about that.

[Kendall Landris]

Well, I think refrigerators also gross me out. Like, you'll put something in. We were just saying this this morning. Jordan will get a drink from a restaurant. We'll go get coffee. Jordan will get a little tea. You will put it in the fridge and sip on it over the course of a week. That's insane. I've never not drank. That is literally your meal prepping. I drink a drink. Two seconds. It doesn't matter what it is. Soda water, margarita. Two seconds is, like, the longest I've ever gone to this regular drink. But you set it in the fridge, and you're totally fine going back to me, I'm picturing all the stuff from the fridge, like, the smells getting into it. I remember when I learned that if you put an apple core in the fridge, it soaks up the bad smells. And that traumatized me because I'm like, what else is being soaked into my stuff? If I put a brownie in there, is it soaking up all the grossness?

[Jordan Myrick]

But that's why you're not putting food, just raw dog in the fridge. You're putting it in a container.

[Kendall Landris]

Yeah, no, I know.

[Jordan Myrick]

So back to this. The main issue I have with this is that it's not about any of that. It's that you just don't want to eat it. You're just not in the mood. And you're like. Sometimes you'll say to me, you'll be like, we have a nice life now, and I shouldn't have to eat something I'm not in the mood to eat.

[Kendall Landris]

Right? Well, okay, that's. I know. And I kind of agree with myself there. It's like, why am I doing. I think I am at this place in my life where I'm like, why am I doing something I don't wanna do? Like, I am an adult person. Like, why would I push through something just to, like, push myself? I don't really get that. You know what I mean? Yeah. See, I do think you're too hard on yourself about food stuff. I feel like you will if we have, like, two blueberries left that you got at a farmer's market. We've had all of them. There's two blueberries left. Jordan's like, we gotta do better with the fruit. We've gotta do better. We always gotta do something. We gotta do better with the fruit.

[Jordan Myrick]

I am infatuated with better.

[Kendall Landris]

It's so every person in the world is buying produce and throwing it out. That's Pretty much all produce is there to do, but that's. There's like three people eating their produce. Nobody's eating their produce. We buy it and we feel guilt over it, and it. Produce is put on this earth for adults to be reminded of their wrongdoings. That's what, to me, berries are for. Because with a pack of blueberries, I'm like, when are you eating that many blueberries? I sprinkle a couple on something, but that's my thing.

[Jordan Myrick]

Why are you making me then get a big thing of blueberries? Why can't we buy a small thing of blueberries?

[Kendall Landris]

Because you. When you go to the farmer's market, it feels good to pick up a package of blueberries. I'm wrong and I know that, all right, I'm wrong, and I know that, all right, I'm wrong. But I think also, you know, I've gotten a bit better about the.

[Jordan Myrick]

You've gotten so much better.

[Kendall Landris]

A bit better.

[Jordan Myrick]

You've gotten so much better. But I still think, you know what's gonna do.

[Kendall Landris]

I know we didn't write this down, but sometimes we argue about the one.

[Jordan Myrick]

Thing we talked about that we weren't gonna do any sneak attacks. We talked about it. We made a list.

[Kendall Landris]

It has to do with the fridge. What it has to do with the fridge. Jordan will buy. We'll get a. We'll get a 12 pack of Fresca, for example. A thing that you could buy every week if you want. You. Anytime you go to the grocery store, we get a pack of Fresca. Jordan, like, saves them. I think we've talked about this before. You, like, won't drink the Fresca, and then I'll. I'll be drinking. I'll have like two. And you'll be like, that's your second fresco today, Kendall. We're gonna run out of Fresca. Well, because why did we go to the store? Why?

[Jordan Myrick]

Door 2 frescas by 9 o'clock in the morning, you had no water.

[Kendall Landris]

I didn't drink water.

[Jordan Myrick]

And then all day, all day, I have a headache. I don't feel good. I can't do the things I have to do because I have a headache. I don't feel good. I'm like, you haven't had water in four days.

[Kendall Landris]

Well, it's really come to light since I've. The last couple weeks I've been reading these zombie apocalypse books, and the amount they drink water, like, I feel like the common issue is always like, we need to get to water. And I'm Always, like, I don't know, they had water, like, three days ago. That's about. About when I would drink water.

[Jordan Myrick]

That's so crazy.

[Kendall Landris]

Every three days.

[Jordan Myrick]

But I will say you are right, and this is something I'm trying to work on, is I have a mentality of like, you have to save nice things for a special occasion.

[Kendall Landris]

Yeah.

[Jordan Myrick]

And I saw a TikTok, ultimately, where I do all my learning. I saw a TikTok of a woman being like, use the N. You could be dead tomorrow. So I've been trying to use my nice things more regularly, and it has upgraded the quality of my life.

[Kendall Landris]

Well, you looked so cute yesterday. We went to. Where did we go? It was so casual. I can't remember. We just went out to, like, a lunch, but, like, a easy lunch, not, like a fancy lunch. You brought this beaded purse.

[Jordan Myrick]

I did.

[Kendall Landris]

Oh, I thought, how adorable is that? And I think you're really living that.

[Jordan Myrick]

I brought a beaded bag. I'm eating my fancy tinned fish just for lunch on a Wednesday. I'm doing better.

[Kendall Landris]

I love it.

[Jordan Myrick]

Next fight. Sun protection.

[Kendall Landris]

Oh, my God. Okay, so I walk every day. I always go on a walk. I love walking outside. I wear sunscreen like a normal person. I do. Anytime Jordan calls me and I'm on my walk, this is the conversation. Hi. How are you? Good. I'm on my walk. Do you have sunscreen on? Yeah. Do you have sunglasses on? Yeah. Do you have a hat on? No. Do you have an umbrella with you? No. And then you're so upset. No.

[Jordan Myrick]

How the real conversation goes is, do you have sunscreen on? Yes. Is it on your arms and your neck? No. Do you have sunglasses? No. Do you have any water? I forgot. What are you doing? Oh, I had to stop and sit down because I'm too hot. Whatever. It's like it you.

[Kendall Landris]

I know, but the other day I said to you, I was like, genuinely, Jordan, what would you think if I told you, yes, I'm walking with a parasol. I'm walking with a. A huge coat on, with an umbrella, with sunglasses on, covered in sunscreen, head to toe.

[Jordan Myrick]

I'd be proud of you.

[Kendall Landris]

I'd be really proud of you.

[Jordan Myrick]

I'd be proud of you. That is insane, Kendall.

[Kendall Landris]

I am never gonna do that. I'm just preparing you now. I'm not gonna bring an umbrella out to walk to the gym.

[Jordan Myrick]

Why? Because that is the highest.

[Kendall Landris]

This is what. What is I've been saying all year. What is my most common thing I've said all year?

[Jordan Myrick]

I Simply have no clue what you're talking about.

[Kendall Landris]

All year I've been going, perfectionism is the killer of progress.

[Jordan Myrick]

Oh, my God.

[Kendall Landris]

It. Wear sunscreen. It has to be. Bring a huge, like, deck porch umbrella.

[Jordan Myrick]

I'm going to kill whoever taught Kendall that phrase. I don't know which person made an. An Instagram reel of, like, a picture of a lake with that phrase over. And Kendall Reddit. I won't stop saying it to me, she uses it as a cop out for literally everything.

[Kendall Landris]

You, you, you. It's like, with the berries. Why we got through so many of the berries. We stopped buying berries because we can't be perfect with the berries.

[Jordan Myrick]

No, but see, that's what it is, right? Like, it's a cop out. There's no push to do better. And this is my thing. If you're like, hey, Jordan, why do you care if Kendall carries a big umbrella when she walks to the gym? Whatever. Kendall has lupus, as I'm sure literally all of you know. Also, skin cancer runs in my family.

[Kendall Landris]

I keep saying that I'm not related to you.

[Jordan Myrick]

I know that I don't know this argument, but my girlfriend's family, because I'm very aware of it. Sure. So I'm. It's at top of mind, first of all. Second of all, you have lupus, so you're supposed to be going above and beyond for skin care. Third of all, Kendall's always bitching about stuff like, I'm gonna need Botox in. I'm gonna Botox, and I'm gonna need this thing soon. I'm like, why don't you just take care of yourself now? How about that? Why don't you just wear. What?

[Kendall Landris]

I wear sunscreen and I wear my hat.

[Jordan Myrick]

You wear a little bit of sunscreen on the front of your face. Also to blow up her medical records, Kendall just went to the eye doctor.

[Kendall Landris]

Well, no, I did get in trouble here.

[Jordan Myrick]

I don't know if you've ever seen a photo of Kendall close up or met her in real life. Kendall has the pupils of a Pixar character. They're gigantic.

[Kendall Landris]

Well, I don't know if we talked about this on here. So I go to a new eye doctor, and she literally said, well, I don't. She was like, I don't need to dilate your eyes because you have the biggest pupils I've ever seen. And then she said, for fun, would it be okay if I measured your pupils? She then measured them. She said, an average pupil, I guess on the scale they have, is like a 2 or a 3? 3. I'm a 9. My pupils are a size 9. I don't even know. And one of them is bigger than the other, which she said it was. They've always been that way. So she said I don't have to worry about it. But it is. They're huge. And so she was like, you're in taking more sunlight by far than other people. You really need to be wearing sunglasses.

[Jordan Myrick]

She's a freak of fucking nature. And what happens? She never wears sunglasses.

[Kendall Landris]

But now, the last couple days.

[Jordan Myrick]

Yeah, you've worn sunglasses literally two times.

[Kendall Landris]

Where's my award? I don't understand.

[Jordan Myrick]

I'm just like, wear the sunglasses. Put a hat on. I can't wear a hat. It makes me sensory. You're an adult.

[Kendall Landris]

But the. The hat. Because I'm always walking to the gym, it's so much to carry. Like, I also used to. This is on me. I know this is bad. I used to not carry a water bottle to the gym, and I would usually, ooh, it's really bad. Buy a water bottle there. I know. Sue me. Okay. But by the time I'm holding everything Jordan wants me to be carrying to the gym, I might as well rent a U Haul. Like, I am holding so much on my walk to the gym. I like to feel free on my walks. Like, I could run if I wanted to. Now I'm holding a.

[Jordan Myrick]

You've never run. A b.

[Kendall Landris]

Carry a bag. Don't call me out like that. I wouldn't bring up stuff we didn't talk about.

[Jordan Myrick]

Carry a backpack, or I'll get you one of those umbrella hats if you want that men wear. Golfing.

[Kendall Landris]

I am not wearing an umbrella hat to the gym.

[Jordan Myrick]

It's fun, but I'll get you a backpack. And in fact, we own 100 backpacks.

[Kendall Landris]

For real.

[Jordan Myrick]

I wear a backpack. That's so not crazy. Wear a backpack. Put some sunscreen in order. You also have to reapply sunsc screen at the gym before you walk home. I know you're not doing that.

[Kendall Landris]

No, but I. I understand. I've taken a lot of your advice, and I think you're right. I need to take better care of my skin, and I've been taking way better care of my lupus. I stopped drinking this month. I know you're drinking more and because you're not supposed to on lupus. And I was kind of just throwing caution the wind because, well, a frozen margarita is really hard for me to turn down. And yesterday, what did I do? We didn't get A frozen.

[Jordan Myrick]

Yeah. We went to a Mexican restaurant we love called Salsa and Beer, where it's, like, where we go when we're feeling decadent. We both get fajitas. Typically, we both get a frozen margarita and a soda. Like, it's kind of where we're going if we're trying to live like modern day kings and queens.

[Kendall Landris]

Yeah. When you arrive, they have beans on the table. Like, that's how the house ran immediately. Like, I wish when I got home, there were just beans on the table.

[Jordan Myrick]

It's unbelievable.

[Kendall Landris]

It's incredible. So I love it. I didn't get a frozen margarita, so I don't drink anymore. So I'm doing things for my lupus. But the umbrella just pushed me over the edge. I was like, this is because I was like, this is the problem sometimes is that no matter what I do, there's always something I could have done. You could have brought an umbrella. And then I'm like, if I brought an umbrella, you could have been like, you could have worn a full entire. You could have, I don't know, put on a. What do they call those suits that people run around in?

[Jordan Myrick]

Morph suit.

[Kendall Landris]

Morph suit. You're gonna want me in. That's not a morph suit. You're gonna want me in a morph suit, and I'm just not. I don't like that. There has to be an end to where I'm not gonna ever be perfect. I'm so close, but I am not gonna be perfect. And sometimes there's just stuff where I'm like, everyone else is also screwing it up. Like, no one's wearing enough sunscreen that we're throwing our matters away.

[Jordan Myrick]

Does not matter. That can't be our reasoning. Kendall always wants it. She'll be. Well, other people are much less healthy than me. Other people say, what does that matter?

[Kendall Landris]

It's just a good reminder that, like, some people, I do find stalls when I'm having a bad day, and I'm like, God, I am just a screw up. And then I'm like, there are some people that are really doing bad.

[Jordan Myrick]

That's different, though, than, like, when it comes to your, like, skin health when you have an autoimmune disease. I'm sick of this conversation. You're pissed me off already.

[Kendall Landris]

To. To you, zero me. I guess. Yeah, you're right on all of them.

[Jordan Myrick]

And we're about to have a third one where I'm also right again, which is our morning alarm.

[Kendall Landris]

Okay, I do feel bad. I actually think this is something that I'm like, I have no. I don't know what to do. I'm seeking advice. I know this is supposed to be advice podcast. I have none. I every night want to be a different person. So the next. When I'm falling asleep, I go, what if I'm the type of person that wakes up at 6am what if I was the person who got up on my alarm, went on a walk, drank tea at the kitchen table? I every night set my alarm so early, and Jordan goes, please don't do that. And I do it. And then at 6am it goes off. You wake up and can't fall asleep. And I sleep until 9pm Till 9am.

[Jordan Myrick]

Well, it's not even. It's not even me saying, please don't do that. It's that you're like, I'm setting. There's no. You're not good at being reasonable sometimes.

[Kendall Landris]

No, I want to go. I want. I can't just set it 20 minutes earlier. I. I have to go full swing. I. I saw TikTok the other day where a girl said she gets up at 3am I said, what if this was me? Why do I want that? I don't know, but I just am always like, what if I was completely different?

[Jordan Myrick]

Sure. And so Kendall will be like, I'm setting the alarm for 6am and I'll be like, hey, every time you've ever done that, it goes off at 6am it wakes me up. I'm awake. And then you sleep for maybe four more hours.

[Kendall Landris]

Right.

[Jordan Myrick]

Maybe we don't do that. Or maybe we do it, and then you actually get up. And last night, she did it. She was like, okay, well, tomorrow I'm setting the alarm for seven. I said, okay, can we do eight? Because I don't think you're gonna wake up at seven. And she's like, jordan, I have a really big work week, and I need you to take this seriously.

[Kendall Landris]

I did not.

[Jordan Myrick]

Yes, you did.

[Kendall Landris]

I gave too much attitude. I was really like, this is my. I need. Yeah. What's crazy is I do have a really big work week. This is the problem of it is that I should. I need it to get up at 7, but I just can't. And then I'm just behind all the time on stuff, so it's hard because I'm like, I should just start setting it later, but I really do need to be getting up earlier.

[Jordan Myrick]

You don't have to explain it to me. I understand what you're supposed to be doing.

[Kendall Landris]

Well, you know what my therapist had me doing for a while that worked. But this leads into another.

[Jordan Myrick]

This is another argument is that I.

[Kendall Landris]

She said, well, you need to find a fun drink to put your phone under so that to get up and turn your alarm off. You see the fun drink, and then you want to stay up to drink the drink. That's embarrassing. That. That has to be a part of my morning routine. I tried it. It was incredible. It worked. But what's the fun drink I chose? It's a Celsius. Jordan is convinced these are going to end me.

[Jordan Myrick]

I'm trying to get Kendall off energy drinks.

[Kendall Landris]

You want me with a glass of water and an umbrella hat on, and I'm not doing it.

[Jordan Myrick]

Sorry. I love you, and I want you to live forever.

[Kendall Landris]

I know. I'm. I. I truly can't stop drinking the Celsiuses. I can't. I can chill. I did used to do seven a week. Now I'm down to, like, two. That's pretty good.

[Jordan Myrick]

Sure.

[Kendall Landris]

Because you know why? Perfectionism is the killer of progress.

[Jordan Myrick]

Thank you. Thank you. I'm just like, can't we do something else? They're just so bad for you. And it. I just. It makes me scared.

[Kendall Landris]

I don't know.

[Jordan Myrick]

And you're so sick.

[Kendall Landris]

I know. And honestly, in general, I feel really bad. I think my sleeping is negatively affecting your life. In general. I'm a bad sleeper. I've always been a bad sleeper, and it has not ended in adulthood. And I will wake up to Jordan, like, clutching their nose because I've punched you in the face while I'm sleeping. I mean, that's terrible. I sleepwalk. You walk in on me just in the kitchen.

[Jordan Myrick]

Yeah. It's really haunting. It's started back up again recently. And you just kind of wake up in the middle of the night to the dog being very upset. And it's because Kendall's just, like, wandering around the house asleep, and the dog's like, help me.

[Kendall Landris]

Yeah, it's not good. I can't go to. But I, I. It's terrible. So I'm working on it. I do feel like if it gets too much worse, I'm gonna have to make myself, like, sleep in the living room. I feel so bad.

[Jordan Myrick]

I can't let you sleep in the living room. Cause that's where we keep the car keys. So I'm gonna have to sleep on top of the car keys. It's just, like, too much. I need to get one of those baby pens, and I need to put you inside of that.

[Kendall Landris]

What's that? Oh, a pack and play.

[Jordan Myrick]

Yeah.

[Kendall Landris]

Yeah.

[Jordan Myrick]

Okay.

[Kendall Landris]

I could probably climb out of that, but no, it's most made for babies.

[Jordan Myrick]

No, I don't think so.

[Kendall Landris]

That's all things. We argue about it.

[Jordan Myrick]

Those are the big ones. Yeah.

[Kendall Landris]

Big arguments.

[Jordan Myrick]

Three. Me, zero. You. Yeah.

[Kendall Landris]

I mean, a lot of it's just me being irresponsible.

[Jordan Myrick]

Yeah.

[Kendall Landris]

Being incredibly responsible.

[Jordan Myrick]

I am very responsible. I am way too hard on myself and by proxy, the people around me sometimes.

[Kendall Landris]

Yeah.

[Jordan Myrick]

And you've really shown me the light of that, so I'm constantly trying to work on that.

[Kendall Landris]

Yeah, Well, I just think it's like you don't want to. You. I mean, there is about. I think there's such a balance because I think we are two ends of the spectrum, which is sometimes good. I think I make you be like, it's really not a big deal. A little more. And I think sometimes you're like, queen, you gotta get your shit together. Because I think I, I. There was a couple things that I just felt, you know, before we were together, I was unmedicated, and I think I just felt so out of control with things that over time you build this defense mechanism of just being able to not care, of being able to be like, I failed completely. And you know what? It happens. And it feels very liberating to take control of my life a little bit.

[Jordan Myrick]

It's actually insane that you're alive is what it feels like. Before you got medicated.

[Kendall Landris]

You shouldn't say that to people, Charlie.

[Jordan Myrick]

You were used to be.

[Kendall Landris]

I know.

[Jordan Myrick]

Wild.

[Kendall Landris]

Well, there's a lot. I just never. Nothing was ever organized. It's like I used to go to the same coffee shop every single day for years. I never opened up like a points. I never got like an account there.

[Jordan Myrick]

Yeah.

[Kendall Landris]

Just because I was like, that feels like too much. Everything just felt too much.

[Jordan Myrick]

I remember when we first started dating, you bought these shoes on Poshmark, and you were so excited about them. And then you wouldn't stop talking about them. And then you stopped talking about them. And then maybe two months later, I was like, wait a second. Yeah, I want to see those shoes you got. You were so excited about them. And you go, what shoes? And I'm like, the shoes that you ordered from Poshmark. And you were like, oh, my God, I never got those right. And I was like, what do you mean you never got those? And you were like, I don't know, they never came.

[Kendall Landris]

Yeah.

[Jordan Myrick]

And I was like, oh, did you reach out to Poshmark? And you were like, no, no. And I was like, okay, are you sure they didn't come? You were like, I don't know. And then I looked at it. There had been, like. They shipped them to your house, they set them in front of your front door. They took a picture of them. Like, how the mailman, like, takes a picture now.

[Kendall Landris]

Took a picture of standing next to it, waving, basically.

[Jordan Myrick]

And they just sat there for what, I'm assuming a month and a half until a very patient robber finally stole them.

[Kendall Landris]

He earned it.

[Jordan Myrick]

Earned. Yeah.

[Kendall Landris]

He deserved well. And I. You know, it's funny, I used to say, before we were together, I always would say this. I would go, well, at least it's stimulating the economy, which is very crazy because I was in so much debt and had zero money, like, literally. But I would be like, I didn't receive my package, but at least American Eagle got my money. Thank God.

[Jordan Myrick]

That's so crazy. Thank God.

[Kendall Landris]

Stocks are just going up and up.

[Jordan Myrick]

Yeah. I remember with the shoe thing, I was like, do we have to break up?

[Kendall Landris]

No, you. You did not scare. You were. That was a big turning point.

[Jordan Myrick]

I was really scared.

[Kendall Landris]

We were like, we need to figure this out. And I went to therapy, and I am. I would like to say. I would say pretty close to perfect now.

[Jordan Myrick]

I agree.

[Kendall Landris]

What's going on now? You. Any more arguments we've had?

[Jordan Myrick]

No, that's all of them.

[Kendall Landris]

That's all of them. Well, we went out to Instagram. We walked on out to Instagram and we said, sorry, guys. We took a couple weeks off from podcasting. I'm a little nervous.

[Jordan Myrick]

Yeah, you do seem nervous.

[Kendall Landris]

I am a little nervous. We walked on over to Instagram and we said, what questions do you have about fighting? What advice do you need about fighting? What fights are you currently having with your partner? And a lot of you wrote in, so we're gonna answer those. If you're like, why the heck did I not get an opportunity to ask a question? Cause you're not following us on Instagram, which is something we wanna talk to you about. It's very upsetting, and we want you to do it. Also, you can always email us any question you have@hwhlpod questions gmail.com.

[Jordan Myrick]

Great job. Thanks. You're doing an awesome job.

[Kendall Landris]

Thank you.

[Jordan Myrick]

In our new space.

[Kendall Landris]

I know.

[Jordan Myrick]

Yeah.

[Kendall Landris]

I think this does feel much more professed, so it makes me a little nervous.

[Jordan Myrick]

Much more professional. Yes.

[Kendall Landris]

Yes.

[Jordan Myrick]

It's really nice.

[Kendall Landris]

I know. I feel really happy and excited and proud of us.

[Jordan Myrick]

Me, too.

[Kendall Landris]

Oh, my gosh.

[Jordan Myrick]

I love You.

[Kendall Landris]

It's very special. I love you, too.

[Jordan Myrick]

Also, we have a cast of characters here with us.

[Kendall Landris]

Oh, yeah.

[Jordan Myrick]

Blake, our producers here. You might know and love Blake, if you've listened to the podcast for a while. Blake, say hi. And then also we have a new person here. Say hi and introduce yourself. Hi, I'm John. John works at the studio. We're obsessed with him. And he'll be here too. So if you hear kind of, like fun being had, Laughter occurring, that's them.

[Kendall Landris]

Yeah.

[Jordan Myrick]

And hopefully you at home.

[Kendall Landris]

Yeah. And hopefully you at home as well.

[Jordan Myrick]

All right, first question. This was the most common question we got by far. Is it bad if you never argue? And to that we will say, three, two, one. Yes, it is. It's bad. One of you is keeping something in. Both of you are keeping something in. Both of you maybe are too passive or passive aggressive.

[Kendall Landris]

Well, right. And the only rebuttal I would have to that is that I have recently met a couple people where I'm like, they're so passive aggressive that it genuinely doesn't bother. Because I think what it always is is the problems are building up. I've started to realize there are some people that just don't get as fired up about stuff as we do. Because I will say Jordan and I are very. We're both fire signs. Not to make this the gayest thing ever, but we're very. We are very passionate people. We, from our second date were having a tiff. I would say we love to debate. We don't just feel a little bit about something. We always have the most intense emotions about it. So I think for us, it would be absolutely impossible if we were not arguing, we would explode. We cannot. Like, we will be out with friends. And if you say something that irritates me, I can't, not in the moment. Be like, that irritates me. Like, we just have so much thoughts going on. I have come to realize there are some people that feel a little bit less about stuff.

[Jordan Myrick]

Absolutely. And we can go ahead and call them out. Just in our personal lives. Our best friends, Colin and Andrew, they're an incredible couple. They just are not arguers. They're not bickerers. When they get mad at each other, they both just go to separate rooms and be quiet for a little.

[Kendall Landris]

And I've been nosy. I continually have been like, but what do you really fight about? And they're like, not really anything. I'm like, no, but you got, like, what's been, like, the biggest fight?

[Jordan Myrick]

Like, but they don't We've literally traveled the world with them, and they're just not arguers, but they're very passive aggressive. And I could not be that way. But I will say to me, that's still arguing, right? Like, they're still getting upset with each other. But if you're like, we never get upset with each other, I'm like, is one of you in a coma? Like, what's going on? I'd be so funny with the person.

[Kendall Landris]

Who wrote in this question.

[Jordan Myrick]

We never saw.

[Kendall Landris]

Yes. I also think I was thinking about this recently because I feel like you and I hold each other to a really high standard. And I think I was, like, thinking recently how grateful I was for that, because I think it's easy. Like, obviously we joke about, like, you know, you want me to wear sunscreen. And I'm like, oh, my God, the ball and chain. Get him off my back. And I feel like we have that both of us. Like, there's stuff I nag you about all the time where I'm like, hey, you should do better about this, and vice versa. And I think there's moments where I'm sure maybe you felt this, but you can feel this thought of, like, I'm an adult, I should be free. Like, why do you get to tell me your opinions about what I do? And I was just thinking recently how grateful I am because you, when you pick your partner in life, you really are picking the person who's next to you physically, like, all the time. And I wouldn't want someone who's just kind of letting me get away with, like, for example, going to the gym and buying a plastic water bottle. Like, I should be better than that. I should do better than that. And I can. I have the capability to. But I think it would be really easy. And, you know, sometimes in lesbian relationships, I see this a lot where they're very like, oh, baby, you don't need to do that. You don't. You can hardly lift a water bottle. How are you gonna take it to the gym? And some days I, yeah, I'm like, wouldn't it be nice if you said that? But I don't really want that at the end of the day. And I think we push each other to. Through our irks with each other. Is that what you'd say? Our irks?

[Jordan Myrick]

That's not a thing, is it?

[Kendall Landris]

Our nagging of each other. I'm like, at the end of our lives, we're gonna be such top notch people because I think we do push each other.

[Jordan Myrick]

I agree wholeheartedly. And that's one of my biggest pet peeves is these lesbian couples on the Internet acting like. And people get in our comments and act like this. They're like, well, Kendall at this point said she wanted to live in a bigger house. And Jordan said we can't afford a bigger house. Right. But if my wife said she wanted a bigger house, I would say, okay, my prince. I'm like, shut up. Why are you acting like your adult wife is a child? Like that's so irritating.

[Kendall Landris]

Because this is who's gonna. This is really. You're gonna have. At the end of our life. And I think we're both pretty independent, but at the end of our lives, like you and I will probably have the biggest effect on the other person 100%. Obviously, just even by the amount of time we spend together. And it's like, do you want the person who's gonna affect you the most in the way that you are? Just let you get away with whatever. Not even get away, but what is it called when they. You. When you let someone keep doing something? What's it called?

[Jordan Myrick]

Get away.

[Kendall Landris]

Get away with.

[Jordan Myrick]

Yeah, when you, what's the word?

[Kendall Landris]

When you like let someone. There's, there's a lot of. When someone's doing something bad and you just kind of allow it to continue.

[Jordan Myrick]

I don't know. But that makes sense.

[Kendall Landris]

I don't want that. That's all I know. Yeah.

[Jordan Myrick]

I'm also just like, hold yourself to a high standard. Hold your partner to a high standard, but for both of you. So you can have like a good life and a better life and make sure there's no resentment. It's. I want to give you the world, but also I too want to have a nice life. Cuz I'm also a person and I want us to have a nice life together. I don't need to infantilize you.

[Kendall Landris]

Right.

[Jordan Myrick]

You shouldn't just say yes to everything your partner asks. And I know we talk about this a lot, but if you were in a heterosexual relationship, you would not say yes to everything your boyfriend asks of you for you, whatever. And you would think that was weird. You would look down on your friend if they constantly said yes to everything their boyfriend thought wanted. Whatever. But for some reason in relationships with two women or two non binary people, it's like very kind of romanticized to just be a yes man.

[Kendall Landris]

Yeah.

[Jordan Myrick]

To your partner. Because it's like boys are bad and girls are good and it's like, I don't know, I think it's very stupid. And embarrassing right now.

[Kendall Landris]

That being said, I do think there's, like, a time and a place. Like, we've had a bajillion conversations of, like, you know, maybe when we first come home after a long day of work is not the time to, like, unload all the things you wish I could do differently or walk through the house. Either of us doing this. Walk through the house and be like, oh, member to close this. And sometimes it can add up and you're like, not in the mood. Thank you, please. And I think, like, we've both worked on, like, there's some stuff you don't need to comment on. Like, it's not black and white. There are things that it's like. And. And I've expressed. And I feel like you have too, where it's like, we both beat ourselves up enough that sometimes you also don't need a partner. Constantly being like, and I'm also gonna throw my hat in the ring and say, that pissed me off too. So there's definitely things you can do to curb the frustration of it. But I don't think having a partner who holds you to a high standard is bad.

[Jordan Myrick]

Yeah. I also think that.

[Kendall Landris]

I think that causes fighting to bring it back.

[Jordan Myrick]

Say again?

[Kendall Landris]

I think that causes fighting to bring it back sometimes.

[Jordan Myrick]

I also think that you gotta figure out the way in which fighting works for you. Because there are things where Kendall and I have realized that we feel irritated when the other one passive aggressively makes a comment or says a thing kind of jokingly that we actually meant seriously. So we've gotten now into the habit of just being like, hey, this thing you do makes me feel kind of unseen. Or this thing you do makes me feel frustrated. Can we talk about it for a second?

[Kendall Landris]

Yeah.

[Jordan Myrick]

That's what works for us. So I think you have to, like, find the best way in which you fight.

[Kendall Landris]

Yeah. Because also, if the word fighting is very subjective, is that the right word to say? We're like. I think sometimes we'll be like, we fight. And people are picturing us, like, screaming on our front lawn.

[Jordan Myrick]

It's not a knock down dragon kicking the dog. Yeah.

[Kendall Landris]

And we've never done that. I think it's like we are always really just saying a conversation. So I think some people will be like, I don't fight with my partner, but they have a lot of, like, heated conversations.

[Jordan Myrick]

And we've gotten our time down. I mean, we're having an argument in three to seven minutes.

[Kendall Landris]

Well, because I've realized, look, sometimes you just gotta pretend to be over sounds like bad advice.

[Jordan Myrick]

You're good at this. I don't do this. But you. I think it's helpful to you.

[Kendall Landris]

Well, sometimes you're fighting about something and you're like, what are we doing? Like, what is this? Like, I don't even know what we're fighting about. Like, obviously, if there's something that you know, and we're very stubborn, which I will stop there saying that because I know there's a question later about this.

[Jordan Myrick]

Sure.

[Kendall Landris]

But we are very stubborn people. So I think sometimes by the end, you know, we're 45 minutes in, and I'm like, I don't even care. I don't even care about this. I'm just like, don't want to say that I'm wrong. Sometimes I'll just start doing a British accent and dancing.

[Jordan Myrick]

It helps.

[Kendall Landris]

And honestly, it's over in two seconds.

[Jordan Myrick]

It's really true. It helps. And also, just being like, hey, we're working together to try to solve this argument. We're not working against each other. And as corny as that sounds, we literally will say that to each other in arguments sometimes. And it really helps. This person wants to know if the genders fight differently. And as someone who's dated all across the gender spectrum, I'll say yes and no.

[Kendall Landris]

Okay.

[Jordan Myrick]

No. In the sense that, like, everyone's kind of the same. Right. I know I've talked about this on the podcast before, but, like, people really romanticize dating women or non binary people. But, like, I don't. Women can be bad. Men can be bad. Like, it's all kind of the same. Men do, like to do this thing, in my experience and from literally every person I've ever spoken to, where they. They get very, like. I don't. They get very internal in a way that feels kind of embarrassing to me.

[Kendall Landris]

Yeah.

[Jordan Myrick]

You know, they'll, like, hit themselves in the chest.

[Kendall Landris]

Oh, God. Jesus.

[Jordan Myrick]

Or they'll, like, you know, they'll be very, like. It's like they just can't use their words. So. And I'm saying, like, I. This is. Keep in mind, like, I'm talking about. I'm not talking about, like, just alpha men. I'm. I've dated, like, men that do improv, you know? Like, I'm saying men are all across the spectrum, I think sometimes have a really hard time.

[Kendall Landris]

Honestly, I would. I haven't dated men. I can tell you if you're dating someone with improv, there's. If you're dating a man who does improv, he's gonna Punch a hole through your wall.

[Jordan Myrick]

Sure. But I think alpha men do that too. So I think there's something about, like, men. I'm just like. Like, use your words, King. Like, it's fine. So I think they do that more. But, I mean, I've also seen a woman punch a hole in a wall. So it happened. I want to clarify.

[Kendall Landris]

That was not me.

[Jordan Myrick]

It was Kendall. No, it wasn't even in a fight with me. I'm just saying I've seen women.

[Kendall Landris]

What I will tell you is I've been mad enough. Not at you, but I've been mad enough in my life, especially in my teen years, where I could have. I, like, had enough anger to punch a hole through a wall. But I've thought about it so many times where I'm like, I would be so embarrassed because I would try to punch a hole through a wall, and it would not work.

[Jordan Myrick]

It would just break all your fingers.

[Kendall Landris]

All my fingers would be broken. And there's no world in which I could punch a hole through a wall. I could not do that. I don't even think my body would let me do that. And that is really embarrassing. I also think from this is only from having straight female friends where I've heard them talk about their CIS male partners. There's a lot of, like, they have a ra. It's, like, not a continued argument, but I've heard this with many people where they're like, my boyfriend just is anxious in general about dating. Do you know what I mean? I know this sounds crazy, but I think women are much more like. It makes sense. Like, I can very easily picture my life doing all that I do. And also having a partner where I think men sometimes are very panicked.

[Jordan Myrick]

Yeah. I think men are always like, but what if I could have a little bit more?

[Kendall Landris]

What if I could, like, an Oscar?

[Jordan Myrick]

Yeah.

[Kendall Landris]

Like, my girlfriend's the reason I haven't won an Oscar, and it's like, no, she's not.

[Jordan Myrick]

Yes. Like, even. Even. You know what I mean? Yeah. It's just like, oh, well, what if. Maybe. Maybe if I had more time? Men are obsessed with time in a way that's like, relax. Like, we all have the same amount of time, but for some reason, men are always like, oh, if I just had a little more time, maybe I could be a professional wrestler. I could go to the Cordon Bleu. I mean, whatever. And I'm like, you are like a random man who works in an office. Like, you don't even like those things. What are you talking about? If you had more time, you would be part of the LA Philharmonic. Like, you don't play an instrument, but they get in this thing where they're like, oh, if I just have more time. And then if you are part of their life, that takes you're the reason away from them.

[Kendall Landris]

I think maybe it is that, like, women, traditionally, even for me, like, I don't plan on having kids, but I think I even when in my life was like, I'm not going to have a kid. You as a woman are just constantly told, like, at 30, it's done. You're done at 30. Like, try to get your career done by 30.

[Jordan Myrick]

Either, like, have a kid or buy a gun.

[Kendall Landris]

Yes, yes. And so I do think, even if you're not in the place to have a kid. I always grew up not really knowing what I would do, but I remember one day being like. Like, just say you're not going to have a kid. Even if you end up having one. Just pretend you're not, because who cares right now? I suddenly felt like I could achieve anything. I was like, oh, my God, I have all this time. So I think women are like, most of the time, just grow up with this knowledge that at 30, it's done. And I think we're used to that. So I think maybe men, it's like when they get in this relationship, they're like, wait, I'm. I always thought I would have 108 years to do everything.

[Jordan Myrick]

They're like, hold on. Alan Rickman became a famous actor at 65. Maybe that's what I could do if killed my girlfriend. You know, it's just like, oh, my God, relax.

[Kendall Landris]

Yes. You know, so you think that's different, but, I mean, I guess I'm really. I'm a big sample size for you of, like, women. Would you feel like, like, arguing with me is different? You would say, is there a way it's the same as arguing with men?

[Jordan Myrick]

Yeah. You're so stubborn.

[Kendall Landris]

Yeah. Just kind of.

[Jordan Myrick]

You're so stubborn and you. You get very inwardly angry.

[Kendall Landris]

Yeah.

[Jordan Myrick]

That I do not like. And I think you're so much better about that. But I.

[Kendall Landris]

Well, I've said this before, but I came from a family where it was like, we argue and then we go. And then we kind of like walk into the kitchen four hours later and are like, anyone want to play catan?

[Jordan Myrick]

Yes.

[Kendall Landris]

That's how I process emotions. You very much want to get to the end of an argument, which I have had to really push myself to do. And so I think that Comes with me just being internal because I'm like, I am usually in my room. Like, as a kid, I would be in my room right now punching a pillow, and I'm having to sit here being like, Like, I hear. And I validate that.

[Jordan Myrick]

Yeah.

[Kendall Landris]

But I think maybe I disagree. So that's. That can be hard.

[Jordan Myrick]

This does lead to the question of what is your take on don't go to bed angry? A lot of people wanted to know about don't go to bed angry. And we feel differently on this. I don't believe in going to bed angry because I think it's pointless. I'm like, let's just get to the end of the conversation and find some kind of resolution. It doesn't mean we have to, like, fully solve it. But I am not good at being like, we're both at a 10 right now. Let's take a pause and go to sleep. I just simply can't do it. So I'm like, let's just knock it out. Worst case scenario, we stay up all night, then we go get an early brunch at Bob's Big Boy.

[Kendall Landris]

Well, that's a pretty luxurious life, I think. I think what's hard is for me is I'm like, sometimes you don't have time to do that. Like, sometimes I want sleep. And I also find that, like, at 2:00am Those conversations are going to escalate so much more because you're so tired. And it. So I don't love that. I don't necessarily think going to bed angry is a good thing, but I do remember the first time, like, we don't really go to bed angry, but I think there was one time we did because I'd been like, I want to. I just want to go to bed, and I gotta go to bed. We went to bed, and I remember in the morning waking up, and you were still like, okay, are we gonna talk about it? And I was gagged. I said, she's shy. I woke up, I was like, good morning. How's everyone doing?

[Jordan Myrick]

Breakfast burritos. And I was like, I'm angry.

[Kendall Landris]

And then I think I was like, o see, I don't want to go to bed angry. If we have to, then talk about it. I think for me it was just natural to like, I need to just cool off. I need to go to bed. And when we wake up, we'll forget about it. Never discuss again. Not the greatest way to handle a conflict, but I do think it so. But I also think we've. I do need to take Space away. Sometimes, like, I do need to go on a walk I need to take, because I can get really, like, I just get things feel so heightened that are not. Because I also think we're never arguing about something serious.

[Jordan Myrick]

Yeah.

[Kendall Landris]

So that also is another reason. Sometimes I'm like, I think in the past, I've been like, let's just go to bed, because what even is this conversation? It's not like we need to come back to this, because we're never even gonna. It'll be such a specific scenario that's like, why do we need to get to the bottom of this? But I do always feel better once we talk about it.

[Jordan Myrick]

Yeah. And we're almost done. But since you referenced it, I do want to address it. Someone said, do you think it's okay to walk away during arguments? I do it, and my partner hates it. And as someone who is essentially your partner's position, I hate the walking away. It would really irritate me when Kendall would just walk away during a conversation, because I'd be like, excuse me, do you have a plane to catch? Where the do you think you're going? That's crazy to me. But sometimes Kendall needs space away. So I've had to be like, okay, I understand that. So now Kendall just kind of very angrily, with gritted teeth, goes, can I please take a walk for a second?

[Kendall Landris]

What I do is this is what my therapist says. I look, sometimes you got to do your best. I. I sometimes have to say a verbatim thing my therapist told me to say, which is it May. I'm sure. Does it feel great to you? Because it's very clear what's happening, and I cannot put on a show. But last time we were arguing, I said, I just want you to know I very much value this conversation, and I'm looking forward to finishing it in a couple minutes, but I'd like to take a bit of a walk. He said, okay, and I went on a walk. It's not perfect, but I think you have to, like, acknowledge what's happening. I think you have to be like, like. And, look, we're not couples therapists, so, you know, talk to your therapist. But I think you have to be like. I acknowledge that we should come back to this. I think a dynamic we've struggled with is this dynamic, which I think a lot of people have, of, like, you want to be having the conversation, and I don't want to be having the conversation. I think that can be hard for you because you're like, well, I don't want to be having this conversation. I would rather not. But we. I'm trying to push us to have like a. A good conversation. And so I think even just going on a walk and not feeling like I'm doing this to get away from you, I'm just doing this to like, take a breath so we can then continue this conversation that I also value. And I do think in the beginning, like, I always tell my therapist, I'm like, please give me a sentence I can say. Cuz it does help me, like in the beginning and over time, I think now I don't have to be so like that. But I think in the beginning I really did have to grit out this like.

[Jordan Myrick]

Oh, and she says that you can tell she doesn't want to do it. Same thing with a hug at the end of an argument. Her therapist told her to give a hug even if she doesn't want to do it. And she will hug me at the end of an argument just with the biggest grimace on her face like I'm.

[Kendall Landris]

Meeting Donald Duck at Disneyland.

[Jordan Myrick]

Yeah, she's like, absolutely furious. Looks like she never has met me.

[Kendall Landris]

Once before in her life.

[Jordan Myrick]

And. But I think it's good because I think it does kind of reset things. So I think let. Let your partner go on the walk like I do with Kendall. But you. You need to ask like, hey, I need to take a second. Is that okay? But your partner also needs to say yes.

[Kendall Landris]

And I think, yeah, make a plan before you're arguing. We've had that where it's like, this is what we'll do if we're ever in an argument where I need to take a break. So then it's like, we know the plan. This is the game plan, and then we're gonna execute it. Versus just trying to make a plan while you're so worked up is never a good idea.

[Jordan Myrick]

It'll never work. But honestly, we have perfected arguing. I really do confidently feel like I can say that. So think. All of this is sound advice. We appreciate you writing in with your questions.

[Kendall Landris]

We really do. Thank you so much for being here. We are so excited to be in this new studio space. We really. I've missed recording with you. I know it's only been a couple weeks, but I really have missed recording.

[Jordan Myrick]

I know.

[Kendall Landris]

And it's always such a blast. And we're having so much fun already here. And if you are listening on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, anywhere you get your podcast, make sure to leave us a review. It really helps us out. And also check out our Patreon. It's popping over there.

[Jordan Myrick]

I will say, a lot is going on.

[Kendall Landris]

We do so much fun stuff over there. We are doing giveaways, we do videos, vlogs, we do a bunch of stuff. It's super fun. So make sure to become a member today. And what else? Oh, check us out on YouTube. Make sure to, like, comment, subscribe, and as always, have a wonderful week. Happy Monday.

[Jordan Myrick]

Happy Monday. Bye.