64: We Hate To Say It, But You ARE The A**hole

Summary

Podcast Summary: Happy Wife Happy Life – Episode 64: "We Hate To Say It, But You ARE The Ahole"**

Release Date: May 19, 2025

Hosts: Kendahl Landreth and Jordan Myrick
Title: We Hate To Say It, But You ARE The A**hole
Podcast Description: Kendahl Landreth and Jordan Myrick are two very unqualified (but deeply in love) comedians who are here to help you navigate all things relationships.

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Overview

In Episode 64 of Happy Wife Happy Life, hosts Kendahl Landreth and Jordan Myrick delve into the popular "Am I the Asshole" (AITA) scenarios submitted by their listeners. With their signature humor and candid dialogue, Kendahl and Jordan dissect various relationship dilemmas, offering their perspectives on whether the individuals in these situations are in the wrong. This episode is packed with relatable discussions, comedic banter, and insightful takes on modern relationship challenges.

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1. Boyfriend Following Sexual Accounts on Social Media

Scenario:
A listener questions whether they're at fault for feeling uncomfortable with their boyfriend who frequently follows half-naked and OnlyFans accounts on Instagram.

Discussion Highlights:

• Kendahl expresses disbelief: "Unless your boyfriend is like a really pro sex worker... But if he just follows so many people who post photos in bikinis, I don't know."

• Jordan adds perspective on support versus passive following: "If you're like, a big supporter and actually paying for the accounts, that's fine. But just looking at pictures? That's a different story."

Notable Quotes:

• Kendahl [03:10]: “It feels so 14 year old... It’s like hiding a Playboy magazine under his rag.”

• Jordan [04:25]: “Emotionally and financially, I'm just like, if... Why are you obsessed with looking at pictures of women in bikinis? That's such freak behavior.”

Conclusion:
Both hosts agree that the boyfriend’s behavior is immature and potentially problematic, suggesting that the listener is not at fault for feeling uncomfortable.

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2. Coming Out as a Lesbian to a Husband of Nine Years

Scenario:
A listener asks if they're in the wrong for coming out as a lesbian to their husband after nine years of marriage and then choosing to stay with him solely for the sake of their children.

Discussion Highlights:

• Kendahl acknowledges the complexity: "Coming out to your husband is like one of the top hardest things to do."

• Jordan emphasizes the emotional strain: “It’s a sad situation. But you’re not an asshole.”

Notable Quotes:

• Kendahl [12:01]: “I think the fact that you did still do that hardest thing and come out to him... speaks to how open your relationship probably is.”

• Jordan [12:49]: “What a fruitful relationship this is... it speaks to your open relationship.”

Conclusion:
Kendahl and Jordan empathize with the listener, affirming that coming out is a courageous act and not an asshole move. They suggest that co-parenting amicably is possible even in such challenging circumstances.

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3. Leaving a Bachelor Party Group Chat

Scenario:
A listener wonders if they're being inconsiderate for wanting to exit a group chat tied to a recent bachelor party, which continues to send numerous messages post-event.

Discussion Highlights:

• Kendahl advocates for mental well-being: “Group chats should be illegal.”

• Jordan supports the listener’s desire to disconnect: “Leave it. Who cares?”

Notable Quotes:

• Kendahl [14:10]: “When I receive a message that's in any group chat, I feel physically unable to do work for the rest of the day.”

• Jordan [14:40]: “If you’re charging anyone for, like, tit for tat stuff... it can be very generous.”

Conclusion:
The hosts concur that the listener is justified in wanting to leave the overwhelming group chat, emphasizing the importance of personal boundaries and mental health.

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4. Advising a Sister on Fertility Issues

Scenario:
A listener asks if they're wrong for suggesting to their sister, who is trying to conceive, that she get her fertility levels checked, despite having faced their own infertility struggles.

Discussion Highlights:

• Kendahl emphasizes the intent behind the advice: “Just because something you said gave someone anxiety doesn’t mean it was bad.”

• Jordan discusses the importance of timing and delivery: “It depends on how you did it. If you mentioned it kindly and offered support, you’re not an asshole.”

Notable Quotes:

• Kendahl [16:12]: “There’s a lot of times that, like, I’ll say something and then someone will be like, oh, you really should get that checked out.”

• Jordan [16:35]: “Know the time and the place. But it’s not cruel to realize that you and someone else are not a good match for each other.”

Conclusion:
They agree that the listener acted out of love and concern, and unless the advice was forcefully given, it's not considered asshole behavior.

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5. Friend’s Husband's Presence at Every Hangout

Scenario:
A listener is frustrated that a friend’s husband always attends group gatherings, behaves negatively, and doesn't participate in activities, making the listener question if they're being unreasonable.

Discussion Highlights:

• Kendahl finds the behavior inconsiderate: “It feels like Girls night... your spouse gets to be there but yours don’t.”

• Jordan questions the listener’s feelings: “If he’s being negative, why does that bother you so much?”

Notable Quotes:

• Kendahl [21:35]: “I think this is asshole on asshole crime. It is complete anal crime.”

• Jordan [24:46]: “If you really sit and think about it, who cares? And clearly she wants him there.”

Conclusion:
The hosts lean towards the listener being in the wrong for not addressing the issue directly with the friend, suggesting that open communication could resolve the tension.

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6. Throwing Away Wife’s Celery

Scenario:
A listener wonders if they're at fault for disposing of their wife’s chopped celery because it was "too big" for the soup they were preparing.

Discussion Highlights:

• Kendahl is incredulous: “There is no way someone actually threw away celery because they thought it was too big. That is crazy.”

• Jordan questions the authenticity: “Why are you writing to this podcast and telling us a lie?”

Notable Quotes:

• Kendahl [31:19]: “I'm gonna pretend like it didn't happen. Asshole. It didn't happen.”

• Jordan [31:49]: “I threw away my wife’s celery after she cut it too big for the soup I was making. That's what it says.”

Conclusion:
They find the scenario absurd and agree that the listener was inconsiderate, humorously labeling them an asshole for such petty behavior.

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7. Telling a 3-Year-Old "Mommy Needs 5 Minutes Alone"

Scenario:
A listener asks if they're wrong for telling their toddler they need to have a moment alone, subsequently spending extended time on their phone.

Discussion Highlights:

• Kendahl initially finds it harsh but acknowledges self-care: “That means that if I was a mom, I would be actually maybe the meanest mom ever.”

• Jordan reframes it as a survival tactic: “I would say it's pretty routine. You're saying this is a survival tactic.”

Notable Quotes:

• Kendahl [34:02]: “That means that if I was a mom, I would be actually maybe the meanest mom ever.”

• Jordan [35:52]: “Teaching them that it's okay to have me time for themselves.”

Conclusion:
After initial reservations, the hosts agree that taking brief moments for self-care is essential and not inherently asshole behavior, especially when balanced with parenting responsibilities.

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Conclusion & Call to Action

As the episode wraps up, Kendahl and Jordan continue their humorous banter while encouraging listeners to engage with the podcast. They invite audience members to submit their own AITA scenarios via email and follow them on Instagram for more content. The hosts emphasize that, regardless of the judgments made on the podcast, listeners are valued and appreciated.

Notable Quotes:

• Kendahl [38:06]: “Your tickle to get to ask us a question would be to follow us on Instagram at hwhlpodcast.”

• Jordan [38:50]: “If you wrote in, even if we called you an asshole at the end of the day, you're not an asshole because you listen to this podcast and we love you.”

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Final Thoughts:
Episode 64 of Happy Wife Happy Life offers a blend of humor, empathy, and frank discussions on various relationship issues. Kendahl and Jordan's dynamic interplay provides listeners with both laughs and valuable insights, making complex interpersonal dilemmas more approachable and understandable.

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Follow & Subscribe:
For more episodes and to submit your own AITA scenarios, email hwhlpodquestionsmail.com or follow the hosts on Instagram @hwhlpodcast.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[B]

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[A]

Switch upfront payment of $45 for 3 month plan equivalent to $15 per month Required intro rate first 3 months only, then full price plan options available, taxes and fees, extra fee, full [e-mail] or welcome to Happy Wife, Happy Life. We're your hosts. I'm Kendall Landriff.

[B]

And I'm Jordan Myrick.

[A]

And we are two incredibly unqualified but.

[B]

Deeply in love comedians who are here to help you with all things relationships. And on today's episode, we're answering your Am I the asshole Scenarios. Kendall.

[A]

Hello, Jordan.

[B]

How you doing?

[A]

I'm good. How are you?

[B]

I'm doing well.

[A]

I'm really excited because I love reading Am I the Assholes?

[B]

They're so fun and we love giving our opinions. So I think this is the perfect type of episode for us.

[A]

Yeah, we're two assholes.

[B]

No. Yes.

[A]

We can be assholes sometimes I feel the opposite.

[B]

I think we're good at this because you and I both have such strong moral compasses. I love that, that I think we're really good at answering these.

[A]

Wow. Well, I also think you and I are good at differentiating between this. Just the segment of the podcast where we say what we're good about. Yes, we're really good about differentiating between what seems. Seems like behavior and what is actual behavior.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

You know, we lived in New York a long time. Ain't that the New Yorkers? I know what a nice person is.

[B]

I think you and I are to each other, but I think at large we are not.

[A]

Yeah, I agree. I agree.

[B]

All right, let's get right into it because y' all sent in so many.

[A]

I know usually we would talk about our week here, but there's so many. Am I the. Well, I'm trying to wonder if our demographic is problematic.

[B]

Yeah, what's wrong with you guys? Okay, this person wants to know, am I the asshole for not wanting my partner to be following half naked sexual slash only fans accounts or how do I just stop caring?

[A]

It's really funny to think that you're.

[B]

An asshole for that.

[A]

Like, why would I take that from.

[B]

My boyfriend being Google gaga over porn models on the Internet? No.

[A]

Unless your boyfriend is like a really pro sex worker, like advocate, where he's like, no, these are my friends. Like, I've worked with them. But like, that would be a different situation. But if he just follows so many people who post photos in bikinis. I don't know. You know, it's hard though, in lesbian world. That is not. Well, maybe it is, but from my, from my experience, that's not much of a conversation because it is hard where it's like, well, you will have friends who post bikini photos and you like it and you don't really think about it.

[B]

But it's different, I think, because neither one of them us does this type of thing. I think there are a lot of lesbian thirst trap accounts. I just think we're not following them because this is my thing. Whether you're single or not, why are you so. Once again, I hate to use the turn of phrase, but goo gaga for like sex on the Internet, I don't know. To me it kind of makes me be like, relax, like, what are you, a loser? And I agree with Kendall. I'm like, if you are an avid believer and supporter and not just supporter by looking, I'm talking supporter by paying money. Yeah.

[A]

She's like, my boyfriend says he's a big supporter.

[B]

Well, I'm. But I'm just like, if you're like, oh, well, I support these like women making their own money. I don't want to see you just following them on Instagram. I want you to be the highest tier of their onlyfans account.

[A]

Oh, wow.

[B]

Because then I really believe you. I say, wow, you really do believe in support. You are paying this woman who is her actor, she's her own director, she's her makeup artist, she's her own cinematographer, she's her own sound guy, you're giving her $50 a month. I'm honestly fine with that. But just to look at pictures, I'm.

[A]

Also like, the top tier is not $50.

[B]

Well, I don't know. It depends on the person. I Don't know. I don't follow a ton of only fans accounts. So I know how much some of them cost.

[A]

Some of them are affordable.

[B]

Some of them are like 7.99amonth.

[A]

Wow. I think in my head I was like, top tier is a million dollars.

[B]

That's absolutely wild. I don't know. Absolutely.

[A]

That's what.

[B]

I don't know. That's what you would charge a million dollars.

[A]

Million dollars.

[B]

Okay. Well, you wouldn't have any followers, I'm.

[A]

Sorry to tell you.

[B]

No, I would not be following.

[A]

You would have to.

[B]

A million dollars. Absolutely. I already. Emotionally and financially, I'm just like, if. Why are you obsessed with looking at pictures of women in bikinis? That's such just absolute freak behavior.

[A]

14. Yes. That's what I was going to say. It feels so 14 year old. Like hiding a. Like a Playboy magazine under his rag, as they say. Yes. Because it feels like there's so much access to this like that you could get on the Internet. Why are you following this woman who's like posing in a bikini? I'm like, well, you could get that on like an aerie website.

[B]

Yeah. At this point you're seeing photos of women in bikinis on the side of a bus. Like, what is this thing? So I think you're not an asshole at all. I think your boyfriend is kind of immature. But. And I would maybe think about moving on.

[A]

Do you know I agree with you? Do you know the one Lesbian Thirst Trap account? I always almost follow what my manager Kyle sends it to me all the time. It's this woman. I don't know if it's real or not. I genuinely don't know if it's real or not.

[B]

I do know this woman and she's like masc.

[A]

Lesbian. But like beat to the gods at the same time.

[B]

Absolutely. And she's Southern.

[A]

Southern. And she's always like. She's like, where my girls who need a milkshake at midnight and are scrolling on their phone and want to be the little spirit.

[B]

A lot of this. A lot of this. A lot of wiping her mouth. Lots of. What happened to ladies wanting to be. Is that your Southern accent? I don't know. She. Because she's not just doing a southern accent. She's doing like a weird affectation. She's also kind of whispering.

[A]

You're right.

[B]

It's like she's not Southern. Like how my family is Southern. She's doing like a different thing. And she poses next to her truck. She's a whole thing where my ladies.

[A]

Who want to be a passenger, princess, and get a fun little drink on the ride home?

[B]

Kendall, you called me out, so I'm calling you out. That's also not what she sounds like. That's not a good Southern accent either. All right, on.

[A]

Sorry. I'm sorry.

[B]

On to the X. Can I blast that in? No.

[A]

Can we please give that in?

[B]

Fine.

[A]

The X. You said it so slowly.

[B]

You might say anything wrong. It's so evil. X.

[A]

You know, I have a list on my phone.

[B]

What?

[A]

I'm so sorry. I have a list on my phone of words you've misspoken. Did you know that?

[B]

Is that true?

[A]

It makes me laugh. Like, there's just, like, two of them, but they make me want me to read two of them. I only have, like, two of them.

[B]

This is literally the only secret she's ever kept.

[A]

Because I think I've been like, I gotta bring it up.

[B]

And let me guess what one of them is. Let me guess what one of them is. Seduction. Because the other day I was trying to explain something, and we were having a serious conversation about something, and I was trying to explain seduction, and I called it very confidently, seduction. And then a couple minutes later, I said it wrong again. And it was funny, but it was embarrassing.

[A]

It was so. But then it became scary. You got, like, emotional because you're like. I cannot remember how to say it.

[B]

Well, it felt scary because I kept saying sedution, and nothing about that sounded wrong to me.

[A]

Look, Jordan, misspeaks.

[B]

Show the camera that.

[A]

Sorry.

[B]

This is evil.

[A]

I should have waited it until it was like. I should have waited. This is my problem. I can never keep a secret long enough. I should have waited until it was, like, eight huge. Eight million long.

[B]

But you know what? I can't even feel that embarrassed, because I guarantee you. I guarantee you probably six or seven misspelled words on that. True or false.

[A]

True.

[B]

What are they?

[A]

Okay, I know there's no misspelled. There's, like, two sentences. And also, I have autocorrect are the words. So seduction is one of the two.

[B]

I know.

[A]

I can't believe I didn't wait till there were more.

[B]

Never live down sedution.

[A]

I said. I said sedution instead of seduction. I did spell seduction wrong. Okay? I spelled it S, I, D, U, C. And she's coming for me.

[B]

I don't think so.

[A]

And then I only have one other. Which I guess you were trying to say, I don't know if there's still tickets. You said, I don't know if there's still tickles.

[B]

It's not funny at all. And that's the most upsetting. I don't know if there's still tickles.

[A]

Why it's funny too, specifically when Jordan does it. Because, you know, Jordan is so like. You talk very sure of yourself. So it's always, well, I don't know if there's still tickles.

[B]

You're so rude.

[A]

I'm gonna keep that list going.

[B]

Kendall has literally never once in the history of our relationship and probably her life kept a secret. I can't believe you have that without me knowing it. That's so funny. I'm honestly proud of you.

[A]

Thank you. I can only keep it for like two minutes. I did for like a couple of weeks. And I was like, I'm going to start writing these down so I can say them on the podcast.

[B]

Wow, that's wild. All right, let's move on to the next one. Am I the asshole for telling my ex that he needs therapy if he wants to keep dating me? This says me, he him. So I'm assuming this is two men.

[A]

Okay. Yeah, No, I don't think that.

[B]

I mean, I think it's gender irrelevant. It doesn't matter when they need to go to therapy.

[A]

Yeah. Unless, like, it's a really inconvenient time and he's like, really struggling financially and you're like, if you don't go to therapy this month, it's like, done. But even then, there's so many options for therapy. There's fewer good options for. There are some bad, affordable options for therapy, but I feel like you could find something if it was really important to you. But I think be a little bit patient. I think it's always good to, like have that conversation and then wait a little bit to see if that person kind of. What is the word when you take initiative? Seduction. If you take. Just make sure they take sedution. No, if they take initiative. And if they don't, I think have a second follow up conversation. That's like. It's really hurt me that you didn't take initiative with this. You're still laughing about sedution. Over.

[B]

I can't believe you had that. I can't believe you had that list, man.

[A]

It's so funny. Sedution is such a funny word for some reason to me.

[B]

Listen, it's not wrong for wanting to date someone who's working on themselves. And if they're not working on themselves, that is what it is. And you're not a right fit. I'm always like, it's not cruel to realize that you and someone else are not a good match for each other. So if you are in a place where you've really done a lot of work on yourself and they haven't done a lot of work on themselves, it doesn't mean that they're a bad person, but you might just not be in the same place. Which means it's hard to date.

[A]

Yeah, exactly.

[B]

So I don't think you're an asshole.

[A]

I agree.

[B]

This is a big one. Am I the asshole for coming out as a lesbian to my husband of nine years and then just staying with him to be with our kids full time?

[A]

Oh, my God. Jesus Christ.

[B]

I think, you know, you're not an. But it's a sad situation.

[A]

Man. I.

[B]

What's wrong with lesbians?

[A]

Why?

[B]

When straight people do these kind of podcast episodes, it's fun. When lesbians do them, it's so sad. It's so sad. Listen, you're not an asshole. It's a bad situation.

[A]

Well.

[B]

But open up your relationship and keep living at home. That's what I said.

[A]

I personally am like, what a fruitful relationship this is. First of all, because if you. To me, coming out to your husband famously is like a classic, maybe top 10 hardest things to do, someone call.

[B]

It a deal breaker.

[A]

Well, yes, but. But even just, like, not worried that he's gonna leave you, I don't even know what I'm even saying, but I think it's just such a stressful scenario to be like 10 years into a marriage to a man, you have kids, and then you realize, oh, my God, I'm a lesbian. I've made a grave mistake. I love my husband, but what do I do? I think it's so hard. So the fact that you did still do that hardest thing and come out to him, and then we're like, no, no, no, but we don't need to change anything. Is to me, speaks to how open your relationship probably is with your husband. So with that in mind. And I might be completely missing the mark, but with that in mind, I'm like, I do think you guys could co parent in a really nice way.

[B]

Just open up your marriage, Keep living together, both of you. Open up your marriage, you both get to date other hotties, and then it's fine.

[A]

I also would say a word of advice to a mother. As someone who's not a mother, what.

[B]

In the world could your advice be on this? I'm so excited to hear it.

[A]

I just think even if it's hard in the moment your kids will never want you to be unhappy for them. It always feels like absolute for them later. It sucks to look back on your life and be like, I up my parents life. I would be so much happier being like, well, then my mom realized she was a lesbian and went on a sapphic bender for, like, two years and was going on all these gay sex cruises. I'd be like, that's awesome. I'm not saying that's what your plan is, but I just think that I would much rather prefer that than being like, well, my mom realized she wasn't happy, and then she just kind of lived in that until I went to college.

[B]

Absolutely devastating to think about.

[A]

Yeah. So even if your kids in the moment are like, this sucks. My mom's gay. Oh. It's like, I think they'll be happier later.

[B]

I agree. Am I the asshole for wanting to leave the batch party group chat for a trip that ended on Sunday but is still popping off, like, dozens of text per day despite the fact that the bachelor party is over?

[A]

I think group chats should be illegal. I really do.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

My therapist the other day told me, kendall, I want you to start writing down in a book moments that you feel so overwhelmed that you feel absolute paralysis and or inability to do anything. And the first thing I wrote on the list was, when I receive a message that's in any group chat, I feel physically unable to do work for the rest of the day. I feel like I should just give up, and I want to throw my phone into the ocean. So, no, I don't think that makes you an asshole.

[B]

I think. Leave it. Who cares? Why do you know these people? My read on it is that you don't even really know these people.

[A]

Right?

[B]

So it doesn't matter. What's gonna happen is you're gonna leave the group chat. Everyone's gonna go, oh, I guess Deborah's done. I guess Deborah's had enough of us. And then everyone will make, like, one singular joke about you, and then it'll be over, and no one will ever think about it again. Yeah, let them make the joke. You know, who cares?

[A]

Yep.

[B]

Okay, this is a long one. Am I the asshole for telling my sister that she might want to get checked out? Since I struggled my infertility and five failed IVF rounds, my body was just not making babies. And I really sweetly mentioned to her that it would be a good idea if she got her levels checked. Her fiance got really mad at me and said I was putting unnecessary stress on her, and now she's worried about her fertility. I was just coming from a place of love and care for my sister, and he was so mad at me. He said it was an move.

[A]

Oh, I don't think that's.

[B]

I think you're an at all. I think it. I think it depends on how you did it. I think if you're like, hey, I had a real hard time getting pregnant. When y' all are trying to get pregnant, you might want to get your levels checked because they said it could be hereditary. So just mentioning that. Let me know if you need anything, because I've been through it. Not an at all. If you're like, shannon, you need to go get your level checked now. Because I had this thing happen, and me and the. And, you know, it's like, yeah, then that's annoying.

[A]

Yeah, I agree. I agree. Also, just because something you said gave someone anxiety doesn't mean it was bad. Like, there's a lot of times that, like, I'll say something and then someone will be like, oh, you really should get that checked out. Because, like, my aunt had that and it was cancer or something. And then I'm like, oh, my God, I feel like I could throw up. I'm so anxious about that. Doesn't mean that that was, like, bad to tell me. Unless it was, like, right before I went on stage for my graduation or something.

[B]

Yeah. Know the time and the place. But I'll also say that my dad was growing up, and still to this day, I'm an adult. My dad would always and will always say, watch for bikes when you leave the house to remind you to not hit a biker. Because in Southern California, bikers are so prolific and in the street and everywhere. And I've never hit a biker. I think it's like a nice little reminder. And I think if my dad said, watch for bikes, and I went, that makes me so anxious that I'm going to hit a bike. It's like, maybe I need to talk to a therapist about that.

[A]

God, you're so your father's daughter.

[B]

Why?

[A]

Because guess what conversation we had in the car yesterday?

[B]

Well, I told you to watch your bikes, but tell people how you change lanes. Tell the people how you change lanes.

[A]

You know what? That's. That's. I don't. There could be a policeman watching this.

[B]

Yeah. John, if you're a cop, you legally have to tell us.

[A]

No, you just. The way you said it, you said. And you need to. Actually, the way you did it yesterday was very normal. In the past, you have been like. And Just remember to watch for bikes, because I do think it could be, like, a split decision thing. This, like, right before you leave for work, just watch your bikes. Because just remember, like, if you do hit someone, even if it's an accident, like, that's manslaughter, and, like, you might end up in jail, and then we'll never see each other again. All right, bye.

[B]

Kendall, how many bikes have you had?

[A]

Zero.

[B]

And how many bikes have I hit?

[A]

Zero. Knock on wood.

[B]

Right? So sound advice. I'm just saying if someone gives you sound advice and it freaks you out, that also might be on you a little bit to figure out. Like, I think there's a balance. Like, people should be able to say things without upsetting you to such an intense degree. If it's not an upsetting thing. Like, if you very calmly mentioned a hereditary family thing to your sister. Once again, like, Kennel was saying, it might be stressful, but it's like, yes, sometimes being alive is stressful. I don't know.

[A]

Sometimes being alive is literally a prison.

[B]

Yeah. But do you know what I mean? Also, I'm like, what's the deal with her husband?

[A]

Well, I was just gonna say, let's check back in with this husband or fiance, whoever it was, when he finds out how expensive IVF is.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because I think he's going to be asking for some tests as well.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because that's what I'll tell you is I'm like, absolutely not. I can never. I would not do ivf, because I. I'm sure I got some stuff going on.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I'm doing one try.

[B]

Well, I'm telling you what, this person that wrote this question. Five rounds of ivf. What are you, a billionaire?

[A]

Yeah. I'm gonna reach back out to this person.

[B]

Yeah. We wrote this in Jeff Bezos, ex wife.

[A]

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Jeff Bezos, ex wife is trying.

[B]

She's a listener. Yeah.

[A]

She loves this podcast.

[B]

She loves this podcast. Am I the asshole for charging people on Venmo instead of just waiting for them to charge me?

[A]

No, I mean, we've talked about this before, but it's. You know, I think there you need to know if you're being annoying or not.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

If you're charging anyone for, like, tit for tat stuff. I think so, but I think sometimes the most, like, the most organized people are requesting the Venmo, and I appreciate it so much you say thank you.

[B]

I didn't even have to think about it.

[A]

Yeah. That, to me, is like labor. Like, you sending a Venmo Request is so much labor. When I go out to dinner and someone Venmo requests me, I'm like, that's insane. You went through the receipt and literally looked up every single person's money. A thing that. I mean, I probably would have to be honest, just never Venmo'd you, which is, like, really bad. But I'm so forgetful, so that is so appreciated. One thing I can check off my list that you just did for me.

[B]

I agree. I think it can actually be very generous. This is a long one.

[A]

Here we go.

[B]

Am I the asshole for not wanting my friend's husband to be at every single hangout? I have a group of friends we regularly hang out with.

[A]

Oh, oh, oh. But what am I going to say? The wife's there.

[B]

Kendall's right. I was going to bring that up later once the question was done, but Kendall ultimately is right, right? At this time, the group consists of three couples, including us. Wait, so that's why you wait for the whole question? Kendall, we're gonna have to do some. Am I the assholes from Kendall later.

[A]

I think this is the first time in my life I've been like, wait, these gay people are being really mean to the straight person.

[B]

Okay, okay, okay, okay. Should I start it over?

[A]

Sorry. No, I'm sorry. People get. I know.

[B]

I love it. I'm just making sure we're tracking the information. The group consists of three couples, including us. The six of us usually get dinner or all make dinner and hang out once a week. Once a week? Whoa. You guys are practically all married to each other. While the two other girls in our friend group are queer, they are both in relationships with men. My wife and I are the only queer couple. Sometimes we plan girls days where the four of us hang out and do things that that the guys typically don't, like thrifting, crafting, etc. One of the guys is 100% fine with this and does his own thing. My friend's husband always makes a big deal about being sad and left out. And here's the thing. He doesn't want to participate in the activities and will complain while he's there or will sit in the corner on his phone the whole night. He is also always in a bad mood, very negative, and acts like he doesn't like us.

[A]

All right, you won me back.

[B]

I have a controversial take, though. Oh, I think this is asshole on asshole crime.

[A]

Asshole, asshole. It's complete anal crime.

[B]

I think this is full circle anal. I think that you are being an asshole for being like Girls night. My spouse gets to be there, but yours don't. I understand. And if maybe that's what everyone wants, like, who am I to tell you and your friend group what to do other than a podcast host whose opinion you ask? But I think there is something inherently a little bit. I hate to use the word privileged, but I think that, like, I try to be mindful of this in that there are some times where not everyone wants to be around a couple. And I think the idea of girls Night being two singles and a couple doesn't always feel good. So I'm curious to know. I think maybe there's a reframing of them. Maybe it's like, hey, on this night, we are going to do thrifting. Whoever wants to come thrifting should come. And if you don't like thrifting, don't come. But I do think it's a little unfair for you to be like, my spouse gets to be there because she's a girl, but the other spouses are boys. Like, I think that is a little inconsiderate. Yeah.

[A]

And I. Well, right. I. And I think it's hard in adult relationships. And I don't know what's right or wrong, but I think so. That's incredible for me to be giving advice, but I feel like sometimes in adult relationships your friend starts dating someone and that is just a person who's around now. And sometimes you don't love them. And once again, it's different if you're like, I hate them, they're so bad. But, you know, there's people where you're like, oh, that's their boyfriend. And they're now always here. And I, you know, it's hard because they hang out once a week, which to me is kind of a lot.

[B]

But lesbian couples can be like that too. And I think this is the thing that's hard is that I think you're like, you know, oh, girls night, or whatever. But I think it's hard because there are things that get lumped. I think sometimes it's like girls night, but like, that includes non binary people or whatever. And then it's kind of like, oh, that to me, I think could be a little weird of like, well, if you're so focused on it being a girl's night, but it's not really a girl's night. It's just like, you don't want this one specific person.

[A]

It's very pointy.

[B]

I think that can feel very pointed. At which point I'm like, I think you have to have just a conversation with your friend and. Or her husband.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

About his behavior or what you don't like about him or whatever. But I think there is truth to the fact that, like, it doesn't really matter that Kendall is a girl. And I'm also allegedly a girl as well. We've read. Yeah, we've heard. People have told me on the Internet that I'm a girl. And so I think that it's. It's hard because it's like, there's still a dynamic to couples. So I think it's inconsiderate that you're being like, we get to have our couple dynamic, but the two of you have to be alone. And maybe your friends love it and have no problem with it, and then there isn't an issue with it. But I think that does feel a little selfish. And I also think it's selfish, though, that he wants to come but not do the thing.

[A]

Well. And I think. Yes, I was gonna say. And I do think the probably bigger problem is this, like, I guilt my girlfriend every single time she wants to do something without me, which is, like, an actually really bad problem. Sure. So I think it's, like, that is really hard. But I also have had friends who I adore who start dating someone who's a total piece of shit, and then, like, me and that friend eventually kind of have to, like, take some time apart until they break up. Not because I'm like, I'm not going to talk to you again until you break up with your boyfriend, but it's just like, yeah, I don't want to spend time with him. And then you were always with him. And then when we try to hang out together, you end up canceling because your boyfriend gets upset. And, like, that's a really bad situation. And then so we slowly kind of, like, drift apart. And that might be a really unfortunate thing if he really, like, guilts her every single time she needs to, because I don't think that would be something that, like, our friends would have to do. They wouldn't have to be like, no blondes night.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

They would just be like, jordan, do you want to hang out?

[B]

Yes, 100%. That being said, once again, as we say often, though, it's not your business if she's dating someone who always guilts her when she wants to do stuff without him, that's kind of on her to handle that. And if she doesn't want to handle that, and if that doesn't make her want to break up with him or talk to him about his behavior. I do think that's a little bit of a reflection of your friend. Why does she not care that he comes in? But also, hey, I don't know any of you. One of you is a listener of this podcast, and for that, I love you. And you wrote in, and I appreciate that. So I'm not trying to come for you so hard. But I also think there's a world in which being an unbiased party. Think that maybe he's not being as dowdy and pouty and annoying as you feel like he's being. Maybe he is. But if your friend isn't having a problem with her partner, husband, boyfriend, whatever, doing this and you're having a problem with it, I think maybe there could be some looking inward. If he wants to sit in the corner on his phone, why does that bother you? Yeah, I understand.

[A]

Honestly, if you don't like him, that's ideal.

[B]

Yes. And I understand the initial impulse to be like, that's annoying.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But if you really sit and think about it, who cares? And clearly she wants him there or doesn't have a problem with him being there or doesn't have a problem with him. You know what I mean? It's like that. I think that has to be between you and your friend. And I think you might have to have a conversation with her and be like, hey, sometimes I wish we could just have, you know, nights without him because it seems like he doesn't want to do the stuff that we're doing instead of being like, it's girls night. Why does a boy have to come? Yeah, because, hey, maybe you're hurting his feelings. And I think sometimes, I think that maybe is a compassionate way to look at it as well. He's hopefully not trying to be bad or manipulative, but maybe he just genuinely likes you and, like, wants to hang out with you guys and feels hurt for being uninvited. So maybe if you care about him at all, if you care about your friend, their relationship, whatever, maybe you want to do a thoughtful reframing of being like, hey, why does he always want to come? It feels like he doesn't want to do the stuff that we're doing. Yet an answer to that. If the answer is, oh, he just wants to spend time with us, great. Maybe there's times that we can do stuff that we all like doing. And maybe there's times we could do stuff that just the people who like doing the stuff can do it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Worst case scenario, you might have to stop hanging out with these people so much.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Or being friends with this person.

[A]

Or maybe switch it to once a month.

[B]

Not every single hang out once a year.

[A]

That's how I do it.

[B]

Kind of loves to hang out just kind of once a year.

[A]

Well, I'm hanging out with myself all the time.

[B]

That's so true. Which is exhausting. Okay, there's a part two to this question that I didn't even see at first, so I'm sorry. Maybe this will add more context.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

If the hangouts didn't include him often, I would understand. But we have a girls day maybe once a month. Sometimes once every two months. Am I the asshole for being annoyed that a man that is rude to me and my wife has to be included all the time? I realize that I may be biased because I don't like being around men, but his attitude and negativity completely kills the vibe. Okay. I still think I feel the same way.

[A]

I think I feel the same.

[B]

You have to figure out if he's being rude to you or if you just find him annoying.

[A]

Well, but we have to go off this question, which is they. They're saying that he is rude. So that's all we really have to.

[B]

Then they said, I realize I may be biased because I don't like being around men.

[A]

Well, that.

[B]

Because his attitude and negative. I'm like, is he being negative to you? Is he being negative about you? Like, it's one thing if your friend has a husband that's, like, really homophobic, and you're like, I don't want to be around him. Stop being friends with that person. Your friend shouldn't have a homophobic husband if you're gay. That being said, if. If he's just kind of a Debbie Downer and you find him irritating, it's kind of like, well, you're not dating him. So you either kind of have to suck it up because you want to be around your friend or. Or you have to be like, he bothers me so much that I don't want to be friends with that person anymore? You're absolutely trying not to smirk at me. What are you laughing at?

[A]

I can't tell you.

[B]

What is it you have to tell me?

[A]

I'm thinking about Tickle.

[B]

I hate you. Literally, I hate you.

[A]

I started thinking about Tickle. You're talking to that. I couldn't stop.

[B]

This is disgusting. This is a very funny one. What am I, the asshole for throwing away my wife's celery after she cut it up because I thought it was too Big for the soup I was making.

[A]

Roll baller. Lonzo Ball for Buzzballs. Ready to go. Cocktails. Take 12. Buzzballs just dropped their biggest blue balls. Script says Biggie's Blue balls.

[B]

Lonzo. Take 13. Blue balls just dropped their biggest buzz balls. Ugh.

[A]

Let's try a vocal exercise.

[B]

Buzzballs.

[A]

Biggies.

[B]

Blue balls. Buzz balls. Biggies. Blue balls.

[A]

Big balls just dropped. Get blue balls. This. Please read responsibly. Buzz Balls. Available in spirit, wine and malt. 15% alcohol by volume Buzzballs, LLC, Carrollton.

[B]

Texas this episode is brought to you by Amazon Prime. From streaming to shopping, prime helps you get more out of your passions. So whether you're a fan of true crime or prefer a nail biting novel from time to time, with services like Prime Video, Amazon Music, and fast free delivery, prime makes it easy to get more out of whatever you into or getting into. Visit Amazon.comprime to learn more. Why are you Larry David and Curb youb Enthusiasm? Cut up the celery smaller. I guess to me you're not a wife to your asshole. Wait, no.

[A]

She's gonna write.

[B]

I promise she's gonna write it alone. Oh. I'm gonna pretend like it didn't happen. Asshole. It didn't happen. I'm gonna take it back. Where'd your wife.

[A]

She's an asshole.

[B]

I'm taking it back. I don't think that you are an asshole to your wife because the celery she cut up was too big for your soup, so you threw it away. I think you're an asshole to the celery. Celery can be cut smaller after it's cut. Like. What? You're not an asshole.

[A]

That's a idiot.

[B]

Yeah, Sorry. Oh, oh. This one's where I am by the idiot segment. No, I'm just like, what do you mean you thr. Threw it away?

[A]

It's so funny too, to have someone like, imagine if you were like, hey, can you. Could you get me some carrots for the soup I was making? And then I got you them and you just tossed them were like. I thought they looked a little dirty.

[B]

They're too big. Yeah. What's even funnier about this is this is a lesbian couple. This feels like a straight man and straight woman situation. This is a lesbian couple. What's going on? You threw it away.

[A]

I think this person is lying because I'm telling you, this sounds like something I would do. Where you prepped celery and then it was. Was too. It was like went by a week and then I was uncomfortable eating it. So I wanted it out of my fridge because I was like, that's gross and it's old celery. But you were like, no, it's perfect for soup. And then I threw it away and was like, I thought it was too big. I just am like, there's no way someone actually threw away celery because they thought it was too big. That is crazy.

[B]

But why is this person lying to us? I understand. Lying to their spouse. Why are you writing to this podcast and telling us a lie?

[A]

There is no way. That is one of the craziest things I've ever heard in my entire life.

[B]

I threw away my wife's celery after she cut it too big for the soup I was making. That's what it says.

[A]

This person has moved out. This person.

[B]

And tell us more about what's going on.

[A]

I think that's all we need to know.

[B]

That is so right now, Kendall and I are mad at you. Why would you do that? What's going on?

[A]

That is.

[B]

Why didn't you cut the celery up more? What's happening? Something nefarious is going on that's not included in this. And I need you to write back in after you watch this episode.

[A]

This question, I don't mean to be dramatic. Kind of like, creeps me out a lot, actually. For some reason, I'm worried, like a news story is going to come out after this where someone's like, this person was like, killed a bunch of people.

[B]

They were like, a sister murdered their wife, and then a bunch of big pieces of celery were found in their trash can.

[A]

It just seems really like something's a little off.

[B]

Something's afoot.

[A]

Yeah, that's really fun.

[B]

Something's going on with you and I need you to tell us more. Am I the asshole for telling my 3 year old, Mommy needs 5 minutes alone? And then going in the bathroom and doom scrolling for 30 minutes.

[A]

That's insane. That means that if I was a mom, I would be actually maybe the meanest mom ever.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That feels like incredibly normal. I would be like, get the fudge away from me. Sure.

[B]

And that's a mom. That's why you're not a mom.

[A]

Exactly. As I'm not having kids. That feels like so normal.

[B]

John, you have two daughters, I have two girls. And do you think this is an asshole move? No. This is. I would say it's pretty routine.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You're saying this is a survival tactic? 100% yes. To do this.

[A]

That's what you've got because then you can show up a better person. So. I've heard they say this on Queer Eye. I guess so. I've heard if you take care of yourself, then you can show up better. Nobody wants to be around a mom who's, like, two seconds away from having a mental breakdown.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

That is so normal. Also, it makes me just want to be like, you also could do a lot more than that and be not an asshole.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, go, like, out to dinner.

[B]

Yeah. Someone's like, am I an asshole? I made myself a bowl of pasta for dinner instead of just eating the scraps my kids left behind. Am I neglecting them? Should I call CPS on myself?

[A]

No. Also, like, I think kids need to be told, once again, I am, like, not. I don't know anything about kids, so take this with less than a kind of salt.

[B]

We have two nephews, and we're really good aunts. Oh.

[A]

But I'm not a parent, though, and I know, so. I know I should not even be speaking on this, but I'm like, I think kids need to know not everything is about them. Like, you have emotions outside of them. You have stuff outside of them, even if you're pretending. I think so much of parenting, once again, I've never done it, but to me, so much of parenting is, like, simulating. Even if, like, your life is your kid, you need to, like, go pretend that you're doing something else to be, like, mom's having her me time that doesn't involve you. Because you are not the entire not everything revolves around you. This is me time. And then you can go in and, like, scroll and look at photos of them on your phone, because everything is about them. But you need to at least pretend to teach them so they're not so annoying.

[B]

Well, not even just teaching them so they're not annoying. Teaching them that it's okay to have me time for themselves.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I think maybe that's the way to frame it. Whoa. Parenting hack.

[A]

We're changing the podcast Good Parent Alert. Parent Alert is the name of our.

[B]

New podcast, Good Parent Alert. Two women that have never had kids. I'm like, what if you say, hey, I'm going to have me time for 15 minutes, and you're gonna have you time for 15 minutes. And that means that I'm gonna go in my room and do whatever I want, and you're gonna go in your room and do whatever you want. And the one rule is that we're not allowed in either room to play with scissors or whatever. Whatever, like, root Whatever rules you need to put in place to keep your household. Okay. But I think that's nice too, because then that's saying, like, hey, there's nothing wrong with taking time for yourself, no matter who you are. And. And I think as we get older and more, you know, the workforce gets crazier and crazier. We're getting political now. It's. It's. But you know what I mean, like, we're expected to work all the time. And I think a lot of people feel guilty taking time to themselves, taking vacation, doing hobbies they like. I think showing your kids at a young age that there is absolutely nothing wrong with taking a little time to yourself is beautiful.

[A]

I agree that my mom used to read me this book when I was growing up. I don't remember a lot of it, but I remember there was an elephant in the tub, and her. She was just trying to take a bath, and her elephant babies were always like, mom. And she'd be like, let me have five minutes of peace. So that is, like, a really good book, I think.

[B]

And that must have really affected Kendall deeply because Kendall takes a bath every day.

[A]

I do. I do take a bath every day.

[B]

A full bath every day. Like she's some kind of Marie Antoinette ass bitch. A bath every day.

[A]

And they're not just baths. They've got candles, they have salts, they have a. A lush bath bomb. Sometimes I take two. I will say it. I've taken. I've used three bath bombs in one day before I had Covid. So don't come for me.

[B]

Yeah, she had Covid. That was part of her medical treatment. You guys watch the Pit or not? All right, well, thank you so much for writing all your am I the assholes? And these are one of our favorite segments to do, so feel free to send them in whenever you feel like it. Kendall, why don't you tell them where they can send their questions or their am I the asshole? Scenario.

[A]

I will tell you right now, if you're wanting to send us a long ass question, you've got a bunch of details that you need to fit in there. Email [e-mail] and do you want to know what I'm doing right now? I'm trying to desperately think of a way I can work in the word tickle, and I can't do it. But I just want to mention that your tickle to get to ask us a question would be to follow us on Instagram at hwhlpodcast, period. That's the end of it. And if you want to follow us, we'll get there. If you want to follow us on anywhere, you get your podcast. That's super helpful to us, and we appreciate it. What are you smiling over there? You're just so happy to be done with me. You're so happy for us to go to our separate room.

[B]

I'm excited to think about the dinner I'm gonna make you buy me after this.

[A]

Thank you all so much for being here. We really do love and appreciate you. And if you wrote in, even if we called you an at the end of the day, you're not an asshole because you listen to this podcast and we love you and thank you so much.

[B]

Bye. Drop in the comments if you think Kendall was an asshole this episode. Bye.