65: Assumptions About Us (The World's Best Couple) | Happy Wife Happy Life

Summary

Happy Wife Happy Life - Episode 65: Assumptions About Us (The World's Best Couple)
Hosts: Kendahl Landreth and Jordan Myrick
Release Date: May 26, 2025

In Episode 65 of Happy Wife Happy Life, hosts Kendahl Landreth and Jordan Myrick dive deep into the various assumptions listeners have about their relationship. Through heartfelt anecdotes, humorous exchanges, and candid discussions, Kendahl and Jordan debunk misconceptions while offering glimpses into their lives as a couple navigating love, health challenges, and everyday dynamics.

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1. Addressing Assumptions

Opening the Discussion
The episode kicks off with Kendahl and Jordan addressing the plethora of assumptions their audience has regarding their relationship. Kendahl humorously sets the tone by saying, “People had a lot of assumptions about us” (00:06), leading into a lighthearted exploration of these beliefs.

Health Scare
One of the most significant topics is Kendahl’s recent health scare. Kendahl recounts experiencing what initially seemed like a stroke but was later identified as a seizure. Jordan recalls the tense moments, stating, “I was like, she had what looked like a stroke to me... And Kendall goes. Kendall wakes up. And she goes, my horseback riding lesson” (01:07). Kendahl adds, “But ultimately, I couldn't see or hear anything, and I couldn't stay conscious” (01:28), highlighting the severity of the incident and the couple's reliance on each other during emergencies.

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2. Social Dynamics and Leadership Roles

Social vs. Home Leadership
Listeners assumed that Kendahl takes the lead in social settings while Jordan manages the household. Kendahl dismisses this, saying, “No, I would say wrong” (03:45). However, a nuanced discussion reveals that while Jordan handles more big-picture and organizational tasks, Kendahl often takes the social lead: “I'm much more, like, taking the lead. I don't think I at all need, like... I will separate from you and go chat with people myself” (04:04). Jordan concurs, adding, “I'm more social than you in general. And also I'm more organized with, like, scheduling and stuff” (04:06).

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3. Culinary Roles and Eating Habits

Division of Culinary Duties
The assumption that Jordan is the primary cook is affirmed by both hosts. Kendahl quips, “I would just have, like, the same thing every day” (04:51), contrasting her monotonous eating habits with Jordan’s varied cooking. Jordan elaborates, “I make sure all of our checks get deposited” (24:27), indicating a mutual division of responsibilities beyond just cooking.

Dietary Preferences
Kendahl humorously describes her typical meals, “Protein pasta with the chicken patty on it. That's what I always have” (05:35), while Jordan mentions recently mastering smoothie textures: “I think I finally gotten the Texture Right” (05:58).

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4. Affection and Cuddling Styles

Cuddling Preferences
A listener assumed that one is the big spoon and the other the little spoon. Kendahl corrects this, “Wrong. We don't spoon at all because both of us want to be the little spoon” (06:12). The conversation evolves into a playful debate about their cuddling habits, with both admitting a preference for being the little spoon but often ending up cuddling back-to-back: “We both, typically, both of us want to be the little spoon, so we just end up kind of playing back to back” (07:26).

Nighttime Rituals
Kendahl shares her struggle with nighttime cuddling: “I can sleep in one position and... I cannot fall asleep until I am in this position” (06:28). Meanwhile, Jordan describes their unique dog, Angel, disrupting their sleep by cuddling every few minutes, which affects their nighttime routine.

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5. Morning Routines and Sleep Habits

Wake-Up Times
Contrary to assumptions that Kendahl is an early riser, she admits, “Kendall has to be dragged out of bed” (08:43). Jordan confirms, “Yes” (09:02), adding a humorous anecdote about Kendahl waking up early during a hospitalization: “you were kind of upset by this” (16:46).

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6. Thrifting and Shopping Preferences

Thrifting Misconceptions
A listener assumed both hosts enjoy thrifting. Kendahl clarifies, “I like the idea, ethically, of thrifting. Yes. But I feel very overwhelmed in a thrift store” (09:15). She elaborates on her challenges, including germaphobia, but shares a recent victory: “I bought a shirt that I've been wearing all the time” (09:51).

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7. Friendship Loyalty

Loyal Friends
Both Kendahl and Jordan emphasize their loyalty in friendships. Kendahl states, “If you are friends with me... I would never say anything bad about you” (10:14). Jordan agrees, noting the difficulty in being friends with people they don't truly like: “It’s so easy to be friends with people you don't like” (11:02).

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8. Marriage and Commitment

Courthouse Wedding Assumptions
Listeners assumed Kendahl and Jordan had a private courthouse wedding. While verifying it's untrue, they express a strong desire to marry: “We have always said, like, if you could just walk by the courthouse and fill something out, I'll be married” (13:29). Both express eagerness to formalize their commitment, albeit humorously noting Kendahl’s tendency to get her way: “I get whatever I want” (13:53).

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9. Driving Styles and Preferences

Driving Dynamics
Listeners assumed Jordan is the big spoon when it comes to physical affection, but the hosts reveal a different dynamic. Kendahl humorously describes her own failed attempts at appearing strong: “I am so much weaker than Jordan” (12:55). Jordan defends their strength, recounting an embarrassing moment at Ikea where Kendahl struggled to lift a box (12:46).

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10. Separate Bedrooms and Sleeping Arrangements

Assumption Debunked
Contrary to assumptions, Kendahl and Jordan do not maintain separate bedrooms. Kendahl shares the challenges they face if such a situation arises: “You really don't take it well. Don't you miss me a lot?” (14:34). They discuss their dog, Angel, and how she affects their sleep patterns, leading to occasional temporary sleeping arrangements to accommodate disturbances.

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11. Financial Management

Handling Finances
A common assumption is that one partner manages all financial matters. Both clarify that it’s a shared responsibility with distinct roles: “It's a mix” (23:24). Kendahl handles stock investments and larger financial strategies, while Jordan manages budgeting, coupons, and ensuring all checks are deposited: “I make sure that all of our checks get deposited” (24:27).

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12. Career Paths and Traditional Jobs

Employment Misconceptions
Listeners believed one host is a creator and the other has a traditional job. Both clarify that they pursue non-traditional careers through their podcast and content creation: “Neither one of us have. We just. We do this for a living” (25:20). Kendahl shares her childhood ambition to be a firefighter, while Jordan reflects on their parents' support for their theatrical pursuits.

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13. Childhood Interests and Dolls

American Girl Dolls
An endearing assumption is that both hosts have American Girl dolls resembling them. Kendahl confirms she owned one named Quinn during her childhood (26:05). Jordan, however, wasn’t part of that culture, sharing her preference for Barbie dolls and imaginative play: “I had dolls, but not like that” (26:34).

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14. Parents and Career Choices

Parental Support for Comedy
Contrary to assumptions that their parents were against their comedic paths, both hosts reveal their parents were supportive. Kendahl explains her early passion for acting: “When I was six years old, I was like, I'm gonna be on Saturday Night Live” (29:18). Jordan echoes this sentiment, noting their parents allowed community theater but required a backup degree: “My parents were like, no, you cannot audition for professional jobs” (29:34).

Learning Disabilities and Career Potential
Kendahl reflects on how untreated ADHD and learning disabilities impacted her potential: “if I was on ADHD meds... I could have been a good USA president candidate” (30:15). Jordan supports this, expressing admiration for Kendahl’s resilience: “the fact that your learning disabilities and ADHD are so bad... I can't imagine what you would have been able to accomplish” (30:22).

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15. Concluding Thoughts and Health Update

Health Update
Towards the end of the episode, Kendahl shares a vulnerable update regarding her health: “I'm very scared. I feel very afraid. I actually feel very afraid. I'm in a lot of pain” (31:55). Jordan offers support, emphasizing their unity: “Let's hope that Kendall doesn't go to the hospital again” (31:44).

Final Remarks
Kendahl and Jordan express gratitude for their listeners’ support and patience, especially during Kendahl’s low-energy moments: “Thank you for your patience today... We hope to see you next week and just have a wonderful, wonderful week and stay hydrated” (32:13).

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Notable Quotes:

• Jordan: “I was like, she had what looked like a stroke to me... And Kendall goes. Kendall wakes up. And she goes, my horseback riding lesson” (01:07)

• Kendahl: “I like the idea, ethically, of thrifting. Yes. But I feel very overwhelmed in a thrift store” (09:15)

• Jordan: “I'm more social than you in general. And also I'm more organized with, like, scheduling and stuff” (04:06)

• Kendahl: “I'm so much weaker than Jordan” (12:55)

• Jordan: “The fact that your learning disabilities and ADHD are so bad... I can't imagine what you would have been able to accomplish” (30:22)

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Conclusion
Episode 65 of Happy Wife Happy Life offers an intimate look into the lives of Kendahl Landreth and Jordan Myrick. By addressing and debunking various assumptions, they provide listeners with a deeper understanding of their relationship dynamics, personal challenges, and shared joys. Their blend of humor, honesty, and love not only entertains but also resonates with anyone navigating the complexities of modern relationships.

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Stay tuned for more episodes and insights from Kendahl and Jordan by following them on Instagram @hwhl_pod.

Transcript

[A]

Welcome to Happy Wife, Happy Life. We're your hosts. I'm Kendall Landriff.

[B]

And I'm Jordan Myrick.

[A]

And we are two incredibly unqualified but.

[B]

Deeply in love comedians who are here to help you with all things relationship. And on today's episode, we're talking about assumptions that you have about us, Kendall. People had a lot of assumptions about us.

[A]

I know.

[B]

Some true, some false.

[A]

I didn't read many of them, but I did a little skim.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And a lot of them were just like, I assume that you guys love each other, and you guys very sweet. But next time we do an assumptions, I'm going to need more dirty assumptions. Kind of crazy assumptions.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Obviously, we love each other. We're almost married.

[B]

Yeah. I think the first thing that we can say is first assumption is Kendall is alive. And that's a correct assumption. Kendall did have what seemed like a stroke. Turned out to be a seizure. She. We. It was very scary in the middle of the night, and I called 911 and she went to the hospital. And then we were in the hospital for quite some time.

[A]

I was unconscious for, like, three minutes, and.

[B]

Oof.

[A]

It was really bad. And I. And then what did I say when I woke up?

[B]

She woke up. I was like, she had what looked like a stroke to me. She's, like, laying lifeless across my body as I'm calling 91 1. And I'm like, all right, well, she's dead. And Kendall goes. Kendall wakes up. And she goes, my horseback riding lesson.

[A]

Well, if you know me, which I know you do, I'm a huge fan of my horseback riding lessons. I wait for it all week. I count down the days. And that morning, I was supposed to have a horseback riding lesson, and I had to miss it. And I was devastated.

[B]

And that was the worst part of it.

[A]

And I almost didn't. I was like, I know if I go to the hospital, then everyone's gonna be like, that's insane for you to go to the lesson. So I was like, do I or do I not go so I can go to my horseback riding lesson? But ultimately, I couldn't see or hear anything, and I couldn't stay conscious. So I did have to go to the hospital, and. And my surrounding parts of my lungs were filled with fluid.

[B]

Her chest cavity had a bunch of fluid in it.

[A]

Don't know what that's about.

[B]

We think it's related to her lupus. So we got a bunch of appointments this week, but this is her first time out of the house.

[A]

But I just Scared the absolute shit out of you. I felt so bad.

[B]

I was very scared.

[A]

You were really scared. I felt just terrible.

[B]

And I'm pretty large and in charge most of the time. I really am good in stressful situations. This was different.

[A]

Oh, I'm sorry.

[B]

I think. Not to toot my own horn, but I do think I still did a good job. Oh, my God.

[A]

You did an amazing job. You. You, like, pulled me over into the correct position for when I was having my seizure, and then you called the ambulance and you relayed all the information. You did a perfect job.

[B]

I brought your license and your insurance card to the hospital.

[A]

You brought my cell phone. You did an amazing job.

[B]

I turned all the lights off in the apartment before I left.

[A]

Oh, wow. That's really brave. That's really amazing.

[B]

But it was scary, but okay.

[A]

I'm fine.

[B]

Yeah, well, we'll see what's gonna happen. We'll know what's more next.

[A]

But we were doing some tests. We're getting it all figured out.

[B]

But everyone was so kind and supportive. You guys sent so many messages to me to ke. You guys sent so many messages on Patreon. It was like. You guys were so sweet. So thank you so much.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

And just remember that I will never let Kendall die.

[A]

Oh, I believe that. All right.

[B]

Assumptions.

[A]

Let's get into these assumptions. I feel like people have a lot of little assumptions they have about us. They're putting the little comments, and today we're finally going to. We're going to let you know if they're true. So on Instagram, we asked you, what are some assumptions you have about us? And if you want to ask us questions or in the future, if we do an assumptions episode, tell us an assumption. You can always follow us @hwhl pod on Instagram.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Sorry, you guys.

[B]

That's okay.

[A]

Reminder. I just got out of the hospital.

[B]

The first assumption, this person says, Kendall takes the lead more in social settings, slash, outside the house. And Jordan takes the lead more at home, slash, big picture.

[A]

No, I would say wrong.

[B]

I would say wrong, except I. Well, I'm. I do. I think. I do think big picture a lot.

[A]

Yeah, but I think, like, I do, too, a little bit. But I think in social situations, you're much more, like, taking the lead. I don't think I at all need, like. Like, I'm very comfortable when we go to an event or a party. Like, I will separate from you and go chat with people myself. Like, I'm not. Like, I need to stand behind you and Whatever.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But I do feel like I. I do run out of my social battery much faster than you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And also, I always forget people's names. And so you're always kind of like, okay, this is who. This. Is this who. You're leading it a little more, knowing who I need to go up and speak to.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But I don't think either of us needs leading in a social scenario. But I think if there were to be one of us, it'd be you.

[B]

Yeah. I'm more social than you in general. And also I'm more organized with, like, scheduling and stuff. So I would say I take the lead, and then at home, I think you take the lead more.

[A]

Yeah, I think so.

[B]

Jordan does most of the cooking.

[A]

True.

[B]

True.

[A]

All of the cooking. I would say.

[B]

I would say almost all of the big time. True.

[A]

I'm much of. I think if I lived on my own, I'm. I would be very much a person that would, like, eat the same thing every day.

[B]

Like, you would have, like, a rotisserie.

[A]

Chicken shredded up in the fridge.

[B]

A bagged salad.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And like, a banana for every meal.

[A]

Yes. I would just have, like, the same thing. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Like, I feel like when you see those influencers where they're like, every day I have this yogurt bowl, like, I think I would just eat the same thing every day, and none of it would be, like, homemade. It would just be kind of like packaged food I put into a ceramic bowl. So I do eat a lot of stuff like that. But when you cook. When we cook at home, you're the one cooking.

[B]

Yeah. You eat that kind of stuff. When I'm at work.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because I go to work more than you do.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I have to go to set and stuff like that a lot for good. Mythical morning or.

[A]

And I'm eating my protein pasta, and.

[B]

You'Re at home making protein pasta.

[A]

Protein pasta with the chicken patty on it. That's what I always have.

[B]

Yeah. Protein Barilla protein.

[A]

Yell at Georgiana, go. And you're for lunch, just have your protein pasta and a chicken patty.

[B]

Yeah. A Morningstar Farms vegetarian chicken patty and then protein pasta. It's my favorite, but I cook most of our meals. I would say.

[A]

Oh, yeah, you do. You're amazing. You've making some really good smoothies recently.

[B]

You know, smoothies suck in general, and I know the ones you make, but recently I have been making some good smoothies.

[A]

Been going to town on them.

[B]

I don't know what it is. I think I finally gotten the Texture. Right. I wasn't blending them for long enough.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Sorry.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

This person says that they assume that I am the big spoon and you are the little spoon.

[A]

Wrong.

[B]

Wrong. We don't spoon at all because both of us want to be the little spoon.

[A]

No, I. Okay, this is. I. Listen, I said. What did I say the other day? I said I need to be better about cuddling more.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm not the best about it.

[B]

No.

[A]

But when we do cuddle, I'm the big spoon.

[B]

That is not true at all. You're the little spoon all the time.

[A]

Most of the time, though, I feel like I'm the big spoon.

[B]

Most of the time, we're not cuddling.

[A]

That's true. Well, we cuddle a lot. You just said I'm wrong.

[B]

We cuddle a lot, but kind of like. But also kind of like tan them. Like, side by side. We're not really like. Or sometimes we feel like we're in.

[A]

A booth at a diner.

[B]

Well, that's what it feels like. Also. We lay a lot face to face, very close together.

[A]

Yeah, but we. When we go to. But I'm very much like, when I'm. I love to cuddle, but when I am ready to go to bed, like, I am done. Like, I can sleep in one position and. And it's. It's like the mountain climber position facing away from Jordan and I. And it's, like, hard because there's times where I'm like, I'll cuddle you until you fall asleep, but I'm like, ultimately I cannot fall asleep until I am in this position. So I'm not as much of a night cuddler, but. So I've been trying to, like, start cuddling earlier so that I can cuddle you because I know I've been kind of bad about that.

[B]

I would say, though, we both, typically, both of us want to be the little spoon, so we just end up kind of playing back to back.

[A]

You're bad at being a little spoon. Ultimately, this is Jordan being a little spoon. No, no, no, no. You are. No, I try. Cuz I like, I don't mind being the big spoon, but I go to, like, cuddle Jordan, and Jordan's like, your. Your face is touching my neck. You're in my hair. Don't touch my ear.

[B]

She puts her face.

[A]

You don't want me touching you. You want my arm around you without me touching you?

[B]

I want you to be touching me, but she puts her whole face directly up against the part of my back that's like, in between my shoulder blades, but, like, a little bit higher, and it's is a sensory nightmare. I'm like, just don't do that.

[A]

But where would my face go?

[B]

Not so close.

[A]

I've never, ever six inches from.

[B]

No. I have never been the big spoon and had my face in someone's back. I'm like, why? That can't be comfortable for you. Why are you even doing that?

[A]

Yes, you. I think you don't realize how far away you want me to be, because then if I'm even a couple inches away from you, you're like. You're breathing on my neck. I'm like, yeah, because I'm alive. Sorry. And I'm here. So that. That's my point. You don't want. You don't want. You want to be the little spoon, but you don't like spoony. I think your favorite is if, like, I'm on my back and then I'm cuddling.

[B]

Oh, I love that. To have my head on your chest. But you hate that.

[A]

No, I don't. I just can't fall asleep like that.

[B]

You never let me do that.

[A]

Oh, please don't make me sound like such a victim.

[B]

No. Okay. Kendall is up before Jordan every day.

[A]

No way. Wrong, wrong, wrong.

[B]

Kendall has to be dragged out of bed.

[A]

It's bad. It's like I'm actually embarrassed by it. I do not find that to be charming about myself. Just so everyone knows, I think it's very cringy for an adult to have a hard time getting out of bed, because I'm like, you're an adult. Get out of bed. You have to do work. But I have a hard time getting out of bed. I've been doing better, I think, recently. But either way, you're definitely up before me.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

The other night, I was up before.

[B]

You when you had your seizure.

[A]

When I was three, I had my seizure.

[B]

Yeah. You got up a little early with me that day. This person says they're assuming that we both like thrifting.

[A]

No, I don't.

[B]

Kendall doesn't like thrifting.

[A]

I like the idea, ethically, of thrifting. Yes. But I feel very overwhelmed in a thrift store to a point where I absolutely cannot enjoy it. I think with my germaphobia, I have a really hard time just knowing that these clothes are all, you know, have been it. My hands. I panic. I have a full panic attack. I don't like that. I. It's too much. I hate. I hate it. I hate it now. I do like thrift shopping and going to estate sales looking for, like, things. Like, I don't mind that, but clothing. I have a very hard time, but I am trying to do better because my comfort's not always the most important thing. And recently, I went to the thrift store and bought a shirt that I've been wearing all the time.

[B]

You did an awesome job.

[A]

How awesome was that? Well, I've been cutting all the sleeves off my shirt.

[B]

Yeah. Kendall just keeps buying. Someone commented on Patreon. They were like, where's this shirt from? I'm like, this is like a men's Gap T shirt from Goodwill that Kendall has just cut up.

[A]

I'm cutting the sleeves off everything.

[B]

It's very cool. It's like high school spirit day. It's like every day in our house. This person says that we're both loyal friends.

[A]

I would think. Yes, I would say so.

[B]

I would say so as well.

[A]

I'm a very, I think, loyal friend.

[B]

Very loyal.

[A]

I feel like we've talked about this before, but I feel like people, like, if you are friends with me, and I feel like the same about you, we will never say anything bad about you. Like, I think there's a lot of people where it's like, you'll be like, you just hear these people talk about bad about their friends. Do you know what I mean? And I'm like, we definitely talk about people, but if you are, like, a friend of ours, that's just like, a very.

[B]

Never.

[A]

I would never say anything bad about you to anyone. Like, I'm always, you know, And I do think as I've gotten older, I've cut my circle smaller, but very much more like, I. I just really like. Because I really like the people I'm friends with. I've stopped being in my adult life, friends with people I don't really like.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Which seems obvious, but I think a lot of people.

[B]

No, I think it's so easy to be friends with people you don't like. Unfortunately.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That. We don't want kids.

[A]

We don't want kids.

[B]

We don't think.

[A]

I don't think we want kids. Maybe go back and forth. But no, we don't go back and forth. We say we don't want kids, and then, like, once a year we go, oh, well. But I think when we're really bored for. Really bored. But I think for them, no. I think I would be shocked if, like, we got. If we got to look into 30 years from now and we had kids, I'd be very surprised.

[B]

Yeah, me too. Jordan manages the grocery list and Kendall carries the groceries.

[A]

I think you're saying, and Kendall eats the groceries.

[B]

That's true too.

[A]

And I think that's true as well than the grocery carrier. I'm the big strong guy in our house, even though I'm much less strong than Jordan. But I'm the. I like to feel strong. So I love to carry stuff. Like if we are checking into a hotel, I'll carry all the luggage. Cuz I love doing that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But when it comes down to it, I am so much weaker than Jordan. We were at Ikea the other day. This was so embarrassing. Tell them.

[B]

What happened is they brought out a bunch of stuff for us to put in our car. So I was like unloading it from the cart into our car.

[A]

I think it's important to set the scene too, is like I go to the gym five days a week trying to become like, I want to have big muscles. Like, I really want to be able to like do a pull up, do a. I work so hard. For years I've tried to do this. And I wear. Like I said, I'm cutting all the sleeves off my T shirts, trying to look strong. So we're at Ikea. I'm dressed in like a muscle tee. Jordan's in like a sundress.

[B]

Yeah. And so I pick up something with one hand, a box, and I put it in the car. And then Kendall goes over to pick it up.

[A]

It's the same thing.

[B]

And she saw me pick it up with one hand. So she was like, I too will pick it up with one hand. And I saw it and I should have said something. It was like, I almost was like, you can't pick that up with one hand. But then I was like, what? I tell her that and then she's like mad about it. So then she just tried to pick it up and she immediately dropped it on the ground.

[A]

No, I think it was even worse. I think it just wouldn't move. Like, I like literally just couldn't pick it up at all. I'm so weak and I try so hard to be strong and I absolutely.

[B]

I don't think you're weak. But I am very strong.

[A]

I'm pretty weak. I mean, it's like I can't do a push up. And I've been going to the gym for two years.

[B]

Yeah, so much. Absolutely.

[A]

I'm constantly like, Jordan just like, eats normal healthy diet. I'm always like, I gotta eat my protein. Like, I really want to be like a muscle mommy. And I just absolutely Cannot lift a single thing.

[B]

You're eating too much protein.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

This person assumes that we've already done a courthouse wedding and we're just keeping it private to ourselves.

[A]

That would be a good assumption. It's not true, but I would not be a surprise.

[B]

I wish it was true.

[A]

Me, too.

[B]

I wish we were already married.

[A]

Me, too.

[B]

Especially after having to go to the hospital and explain who I am to you.

[A]

I know. Well, I do feel like we have always said, like, if you could just walk by the courthouse and fill something out, like, wait in the line for 20 minutes and fill a thing, I'll be married. We would have been married two years ago.

[B]

Or send in a mailer.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's the whole thing. I think we've decided how we're gonna get married. We'll let you know. Kendall gets everything they want, and Jordan loves every minute of it.

[A]

That's true.

[B]

That is true.

[A]

Unfortunately, I would say that.

[B]

Hate to say it out loud, but.

[A]

I feel like we do a lot of almost, like, foreplay with each other of, like, oh, Kendall, you can't have that. Blah, blah. But I get whatever I want.

[B]

I would say sad.

[A]

I don't ask for a lot.

[B]

I don't know if that.

[A]

You know what I do. I ask for a lot. But I asked for a lot of very attainable things.

[B]

Oh, sure. That's my favorite thing that Kendall does, is Kendall has. She's always like, that's my dream. And she has a million dreams, but she'll be like, my dream is to go to the movies. I'm like, okay, we can do that. That's fine. Jordan. Dr. And Kendall is the passenger princess.

[A]

Yeah, true. But that's because we. Well, we've gotten better. But Jordan doesn't like my driving, and I can't handle their backseat driving. So I just was like, you drive.

[B]

And I'm a better driver.

[A]

I'm not gonna say that. And Kendall's think I'm a more fun driver. I'm a more interesting driver.

[B]

I think Kendall's a more fun driver. I'll say that as well. This person assumes that we have separate bedrooms, and we love that about ourselves.

[A]

No, And I actually. No, we don't. And I think we could not do that. We. I mean, if it became a necessity. I'm not talking 30 years from now. I don't know what the situation will be, but when we have to sleep in separate rooms. Not to out you, Jordan, but, like, you really don't take it well. Don't you miss me a lot? Be real. Just be real for a second. You miss me a lot. Like, when you had Covid that one.

[B]

Time, I didn't like that.

[A]

That was drama. And then, like, I think there's been, like, a couple times after my surgery where I was like, I'm gonna stay sleeping on the couch because, like, I need to. And it was hurting your back to sleep on the couch, and you were distraught.

[B]

Okay, distraught's a little strong.

[A]

You're texting me, Jerome, text me. Miss you. They're 20ft away from me. It's really hard to watch. So I don't think we would ever be able to sleep in separate bedrooms.

[B]

Yeah, I think medically, if we needed to, we could, but.

[A]

Right? I think. Yeah. And recently, like, angel, our dog, was kind of getting in a bad situation.

[B]

Oh, yeah. She was confused.

[A]

Well, she kept, like. She used to get up. She sleeps in her own big bed next to us, but she doesn't sleep in the bed because angel always sits on our feet. And then if you move your feet, she growls at you. It's like, why then sit on our feet? Just so. She's very hard to sleep with. And she makes you wake up, like, every two seconds because she wants to lay on your feet. Anyways, she sleeps in a bed, but then usually around 6am she gets up into our bed and cuddles with us. And it's like, a great way to, like, okay, this is. We're gonna start waking up slowly. But she recently started doing it at, like, 3:00am and I feel bad because once Jordan's awake, they have a really hard time going back to sleep. I could be woken up 80 times. I can go back to sleep. Yeah, but Jordan was awake. So, Jordan, recently, you slept in the living room.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But I think you, once again, were kind of upset by this. And then you couldn't believe when I, like, I guess I'd woken up and was on my phone, I was like.

[B]

You didn't even notice I wasn't in bed with you? And then, like, I noticed I heard you, like, knocking around in the other room. And then finally you came in the living room, and you were like, hey. And I was like, I'm asleep on the couch.

[A]

And I was like, yeah, you go.

[B]

Don'T you have any questions about what.

[A]

Happened versus if I, in the middle of the night, went and slept on the couch, you would be. I mean, I think you would come in there at the time. I think you would wake up from me going in there, and you'd be like, why are you in here, I would be scared.

[B]

And now we know why. Because you're getting up and you're having seizures in the middle of the night.

[A]

Oh, we did do one thing. One time.

[B]

This person says, I assume Kendall pokes fun at Jordan in ways she would cry if Jordan did to her.

[A]

No, no, we both poke equally. No, do not. If you can't see it, if you're listening, but Jordan's nodding to the camera. Come on. There's. There's. I think we equally poke fun at each other.

[B]

No, I think we equally poke fun at each other a lot.

[A]

What is something that I. That you poke fun at me? I'm trying to think. If there's something I poke fun at you about that I wouldn't like it if you poked fun at me about it.

[B]

I think you. This is what I'll say. I think you take criticism much more personally than I take criticism. I think we both take jokes well, but I think that, like, if I'm.

[A]

Like, oh, I disagree. Really? I think you can't take criticism very well.

[B]

Oh, please.

[A]

Well, I think I get upset set. Like, I think I take a lot of criticism. There have been times from you, specifically, I have a hard time taking criticism, which I've worked on. But I think, like, you have a heart. Do you know what I mean? Like, if you're like. If I'm like, is this funny? And you're like, oh, I think you should change this. I think in the past, I would be like, you don't get it.

[B]

And I'm like, okay, you asked, right?

[A]

And so I think I was kind of have hard time with criticism that way. And then, yeah, sometimes I think I take things. I do think I take things very personally. But I think you, like, sometimes literally are just like, no, you're wrong.

[B]

Sometimes you are wrong. And that's important to know.

[A]

People criticize you. Sometimes you're just like, no, you don't even versus me being like, I'm embarrassed, so I'm getting defensive, and I'm, like, taking criticism personally and feeling, like, embarrassed and like, whatever. I think you're just, like, they're wrong, so you don't take it anyway.

[B]

I think that's probably fair. I'm thinking of, like, how sometimes. But not from you. I think from criticism from you, I always take to heart. But I think that, like, yeah, when I will say something to you, and I think you will interpret it as criticism, and I'm like, oh, I'm just like, well, right.

[A]

I think we've had that with, like, Clothing where, like, Jordan will be like, that's not like, really? It's like, pretty hot today. So I don't know if you should wear a long sleeve shirt. And in my head I heard you be like, your outfit's ugly and you're ugly.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Just never leave the house again.

[B]

Or like, Kendall's not always good with, like, appropriateness of the situation in terms of dressing. I think you've gotten better at it. But used to it would be like, we'd be going to, like, an elderly woman's birthday every time party or something. You know, something. Or like a wedding. And then Kendall would be like, I'm wearing bike shorts and a sweatshirt. And I'm like, I've gotten a lot. You can't wear bike shorts and a sweatshirt to a wedding. I hate to say that, but unfortunately you can't. Sorry. This person said their assumption is Jordan is mean.

[A]

No.

[B]

And to that I'll say true.

[A]

No. Jordan is one of the kindest people I've literally ever known.

[B]

But I've said it before, and I'll say it again. If you think that I'm mean, I probably would be mean to you.

[A]

I will tell you. You even like, okay, you can talk a big game sometimes. Like, I. And I. I feel like you'll be like, I, yeah, I'd be me. But you, Jordan is like. So I would say nice to a detriment to yourself. Like, you were constantly trying to be the most thoughtful in a way where I have to be like, Jordan, actually stop being so thoughtful. Like, it's annoying me. We're like, even in public, Jordan is just constantly thinking about how to, like, make the best experience for every stranger there and make sure you don't, like, make anyone's day bad. Like, Jordan is the first to, like, reach out to people and help people and want to. Like, you're so kind and loving. You're so sweet and real big baby to me.

[B]

We just feel like pda.

[A]

That's the thing. It's like, I. And I think you would be more PDA with me if I was more comfortable with it. But I'm very like, when Jordan will start, like, bragging about me to a friend and I'm there, I literally have to leave the room because I get so uncomfortable.

[B]

But I'm also like, once again, I'm like, if you're gonna comment on a thing and say that, I mean, I'm like, yeah, I don't know if you interpret the way that I am as mean, you'd probably think I'm mean, and that's okay. We're not friends, so, yeah, like, it's fine.

[A]

But I'm just saying, like, you're not mean.

[B]

You're very sweet, John. Yes. Thoughts? You guys are both very nice. Thanks, Sean. We love you, too. This person assumes that we are more serious and quiet in private or at home?

[A]

No, I would say. Well, I don't think we're jokey in the same way.

[B]

We're joking.

[A]

I think we're very silly in private.

[B]

I think we're very silly in private. I do think, like, one thing I'll see, like, online about, like, us or me or whatever is people being like, oh, my God, like, so insufferable. Can you imagine having opinions like that about, like, what other people do or, like, in food stuff? They'll be like, can you imagine, like, thinking that, you know the best, blah, blah, blah, or whatever? And I'm like, yeah, my personal life. I'm not, like, running around, like, giving everyone relationship advice or being like, everyone has to eat this thing.

[A]

I don't think we have, like. We're not always, like, we don't have, like, huge opinions at home, I feel, like, about stuff.

[B]

No, I think we have, like, normal opinions, but I think that a lot of what people perceive as us being opinionated publicly is just, like, us doing our job.

[A]

We, like, have to do it for a job.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I would say, though, we're very similar to how we are on the podcast with Friends. Yeah, I would say how we are, but I would say how we are the. Which this is probably everybody. But how we are privately is so different. The way we are with people, like.

[B]

And you'll never know what it's like.

[A]

Right. But I think it's, like, actually, like, a documentary could be made about it. Like, I think it's, like, actually really different. We're just, like, very. I don't know. Which is very different.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

In private than we are, but that's most couples.

[B]

Right.

[A]

You'd think. But sometimes people drop in the chat.

[B]

Are you, like, weird alone? Are you weird in private? More weird than normal.

[A]

But I feel like we're even different people around each other. It's like, I feel like when it's just you and I, we're completely different people than we are in public.

[B]

I will say this. I think you and I are both very independent and in charge of our lives.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I think that because of that, we, you know, are much softer at home because you can kind of relax a little bit. I think we baby each Other a lot. I think we're very, like, tender and gentle with each other.

[A]

What? Okay, next. Sorry.

[B]

Sorry. Sorry I said anything. Sorry I said anything. This person says that they assume that I handle all financial things. No, false.

[A]

False.

[B]

It's a mix.

[A]

Yeah, it's a mix. I think we. Well, I think there's different things we handle. I think we are. Finances in a lot of ways are separate. Like, in terms of, like, we share money. But, like, when we go to do our taxes.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Our taxes are like, file separately.

[A]

So in that way we both like. You don't do my taxes. Like, I.

[B]

You know, which is another question. Someone says they assume that I do all the taxes.

[A]

No, I. But I also don't do my taxes.

[B]

Yes, 100%.

[A]

I pay taxes.

[B]

To be clear. I don't do my taxes. I don't file my.

[A]

No, I just have someone do my taxes who's not. I could not do my taxes.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So I. So in that way. But then I also think, you know, I'm much more into the, like, credit and stocks and all that world where I'm much more, like, I think, knowledgeable. Not because you couldn't be, but you've just never really shown interest. I'm much more like, into that world and do stuff in that world at the lowest level. But I am.

[B]

I think this is like big picture versus small picture and like, details of minutia. I'm very much. Budgeting coupons.

[A]

I've never done a coupon in my life. I've literally never used a coupon until I met Jordan. Yeah, Always doing that stuff.

[B]

I make sure that all of our checks get deposited because, like, a lot. We work a lot of odd jobs or whatever, and we'll just get set checks for things. I make sure all the checks get deposited. I like things like that. Things that maybe you would forget. And then Kendall does a lot of the larger scale things. So Kendall does stocks and stuff with my dad. They do that together.

[A]

Or like making sure there's a retirement. I don't know. There's just things that I like, make sure in place that I think you wouldn't probably think about.

[B]

Yeah. Or like. Yeah, just like stuff like that. Ew. Ew. Okay. This person, I'm so curious about who they're talking about. They said, my assumption is you're a creator. She has a more traditional job. Who in the world they could be talking about? I'm not sure.

[A]

Well, neither of us have. We just. We do this for a living. We don't have A traditional job. Really?

[B]

Yes. So I don't know who's who, but to answer the question, neither one of us have a traditional job, which is fine. I don't know.

[A]

I think about it sometimes, having a traditional job. Yeah. Like, if I could just go work a day, a week at a bookstore or something. Could be nice. I don't know. Just a change of pace. Not really seriously thinking about it. But I do daydream. I'm very. Sometimes grass is greener on the other side. I have to check myself. But, like, I became obsessed at the beginning of this year with becoming a firefighter. I was like, I'm gonna become a firefighter. That'll be so fun, so cool.

[B]

Literally. What are you talking about?

[A]

And then the fires in LA happened, and I said, actually, I'm gonna maybe think on this.

[B]

This person said, you both have American Girl dolls that look like you.

[A]

I did.

[B]

I did not.

[A]

I did when I was 6. Not as an adult. I don't know where she is. I think she's probably still at my mom's house. But her name was Quinn, and she was a lookalike doll.

[B]

And she looked just like you. Yeah. I mean, except she had the teeth.

[A]

She was like. They sent. I'm pretty sure they sent a photo of me in and they made. That was like, a thing. And then you, like, made. They made a doll. They were all, like, a blonde doll. Like, they didn't really go in with the nose and, you know, it was supposed to be your lookalike doll, and I loved mine.

[B]

Wow. No, I wasn't really part of that culture.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. I was a. I was a big American Girl doll.

[B]

I just kind of, like, went outside and played pretend a lot.

[A]

You didn't have, like, any doll. You were Barbie's person.

[B]

I had dolls, but not like that.

[A]

I had. I loved American Girl dolls, and I even had the twins. They came out when I was older. Not older, but, like 10. They. You could get baby twins of American Girl dolls. And I got twins named. I named them Isabella and Freddy Freddie after the character. And. Icarly a beautiful homage. And I was loved playing parent. Like, I really liked playing, like, I was a parent.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You got it all out of your system.

[A]

I really thought until I was 18. I mean, for a long time, I thought I would have a lot of kids.

[B]

You thought you were smart?

[A]

Not just. No, I just. I always picture myself with, like, four kids, which is crazy.

[B]

That's wild. You would hate that.

[A]

Oh, God, I can't even know. I mean, I didn't know. But I think part of it is, like, I did not grow up around kids. Like, I didn't.

[B]

I did not either. Siblings. Another sibling.

[A]

Yeah. I did not have younger siblings. I did not have. Was not close with a lot of extended family. So I wasn't around a lot of babies.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So it was just very exciting. Like, I remember my. I had a friend in middle school who had a new baby brother. She brought him to school and I, like, really wanted to hold him. And I was like, so excited because I never had held a baby before. I had just felt so exciting.

[B]

Opposite effect. I was never around children. I'm an only child and I really don't have a relationship with most of my family. And so it was just like me and like, even like, I have one cousin that's younger than me that I have a relationship with and. But she's like a year younger than me.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So it was not even like that. But it made me be like, oh, I'm an adult. So I was like 4 and I was like, I'm 30 years old and I would just like go to things with my parents and be around their friends who were all just like gay men who didn't have children.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I was like, yes, this is all of us. We're all 30 year old gay men with no children. Right. But I was a five year old. This person is making the assumption that our parents didn't want us to be comedians.

[A]

No, my parents didn't care.

[B]

My parents also didn't care.

[A]

Yeah, they were excited.

[B]

My parents did not care at all.

[A]

I do think, though, if I had been a kid who like. And my mom even said this when I was 18, because it was a big deal for me to not go to college and then go to New York City. It was very expensive, it was very whatever. But I was not a kid who, like, didn't know what she wanted all growing up and then at like 18. And there's a lot of people who do this. I've never even thought about this, but were like literally deciding what they wanted to do their senior year and were like, I guess I'll try acting school. I was not like that. When I was six years old, I was like, I'm gonna be on Saturday Night Live. And I like, worked towards it all the time. And like, you know, I spent every summer at acting camp. Spent. I was the president of my drama. Like, I really wanted it continually for so long. So I think it was not a surprise or a thing they had to, like, wrap their heads around.

[B]

Yeah, same for me. I, like, grew up doing community theater and was obsessed with it and also was like, I'm gonna be on Saturday Night Live. My parents just, like, knew, but I was not allowed to be a child actor. My parents were very specific about that. I was like, can I audition for this thing? My parents were like, no, you cannot audition for professional jobs. You can do community theater. And I had to get some kind of, quote, like, regular formal education.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So my parents, like, I would not have just been allowed to just do an acting program instead of college. My parents were like, you gotta get some kind of degree just as a backup.

[A]

Well, and the truth is, for me, at least, there's literally nothing else I could have done.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

I think it would have been different if I, like, was a straight A student. A budding medic student. Med student. What do you say? A medic student. Don't even dryer. Pick something else. A budding lawyer.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But it truly was kind of like, well, she's good at that, and thank God for that.

[B]

And you're very good at it. You don't need to be good at anything else.

[A]

That's exactly right. But sometimes I think I'm like, what could it have been like if I'd been on ADHD meds in school? Would I be?

[B]

I think that all the time about you. I'm like, you would be a Nobel Prize winner. I'm serious. I'm like, the fact that your learning disabilities and ADHD are so bad, and you were never helped with them or medicated or anything. I'm like, if you were, I know. I can't even imagine what you would have been able to accomplish.

[A]

You know what I would have done?

[B]

Tell me.

[A]

Which. I'm, like, cringing at saying it.

[B]

I'm listening.

[A]

I really think I would have gone into politics and law. Like, I think I would have been, not law, like, to become a.

[B]

To be a cop, to make sure.

[A]

I can make everyone stay in line. Ye. But I think I would have gone into, like, policy, and I think I would have really been, like, a person who's like, I want to be like, I want to be the president. Like, I could have seen myself going in that direction because I was very passionate about politics in school, but I just could not keep up with the, like, the people around me who are also into that, which often were, like, guys who just were able to read so much. Not because they were guys, but they just happened to be guys. And then they read so much and I just couldn't keep up. And so I think. But whenever we would have, like, mock elections, I think I would really shine because I think I was really able to, like, connect and perform and be like, here's like, make people care about the thing, and they wouldn't do as well. So I'm like, if I think if I had the ability to intake all that information and be really knowledgeable and also be able to do that, I think I could have been a good USA president candidate.

[B]

A good USA president candidate, as they always say. Well, thanks so much for watching this week's episode, and let's hope that Kendall doesn't go to the hospital again.

[A]

It actually. I'm very scared. I feel very afraid. I actually feel very afraid. I'm in a lot of pain, and, you know, whenever I stand, I feel faint. But we, you know, it's fine. We're fine. I feel scared.

[B]

Yeah. And if you want to keep Kendall out of the hospital, join our Patreon and make sure to, like, comment and subscribe on YouTube or wherever you get your podcast.

[A]

And thank you for your patience today. If I seemed a little low energy, I appreciate all your kind words and everyone just being always so loving to us. To us. And we hope to see you next week and just have a wonderful, wonderful week and stay hydrated.

[B]

All right, Love you. Bye.