Happy Wife Happy Life – Episode 78: "We Dissect Your Lesbian Drama" w/ Mal Glowenke
Date: August 25, 2025
Hosts: Kendahl Landreth & Jordan Myrick
Guest: Mal Glowenke (Made It Out podcast, Made It Out Media)
Theme: Lesbian drama, relationship dynamics, and advice for navigating queer partnerships and messy situations.
Episode Overview
Kendahl and Jordan are joined by Mal Glowenke for a candid, comedic, and heartfelt exploration of lesbian and general queer relationship dramas. With the help of listener submissions, the trio unpacks everything from childhood sexuality and shame to adult relationship squabbles, polyamorous entanglements, messy crushes, and identity questions.
Guest Introduction & Mal’s Favorite Podcast Episodes
[01:07–02:15]
- Mal Glowenke is introduced as host of the Made It Out podcast and co-owner of Made It Out Media, which focuses on digital shows for queer women.
- Notable guests: Mal highlights two favorite episodes:
- Fightmaster: "Fightmaster is so incredible to talk to. I feel very lucky to have them in my life." [01:36, Mal]
- Katherine Gallagher: They shared a vulnerable conversation about sexual assault—"We have deep conversation and we are vulnerable and we try to help the community, but also it's—we somehow have fun while talking about it." [01:36–02:14, Mal]
The Power of Humor & Processing Trauma
[02:15–03:00]
- The group reflects on the unique way queer folks process pain with humor, resisting the pressure to present only tragedy.
"Why the fuck do you think we're so funny? Because we've had so much drama."
— Mal Glowenke [02:53]
Coming Out Stories & Childhood Sexuality
[03:00–10:15]
- Mal shares her coming out at 28 after moving from Texas to LA, describing early sexual curiosity and shame.
"I was so sexually curious…I felt like a lot of shame about that."
— Mal [04:22]- Normalizing childhood curiosity: “[My therapist said], ‘No, this is actually really normal.’” [04:39, Mal]
- Hosts share confessions about their own “freaky” behaviors as kids.
- Jordan: “I famously tried to make out with my mom when I was a child...I’d watched the movie Grease…so one day, I just tried to, like, lay a big, fat one on my mom.” [06:29–07:13, Jordan]
- Reflecting on parental reactions and embarrassment.
- Mal tells a story about her 5th birthday: "Of course one of us turned on porn. Of course all of us are watching porn. We’re like five. This is my 5th birthday." [07:46, Mal]
- The group remembers their own awkward early forays into “taboo” or adult content, cringing and laughing at the universality of early shame.
Shame, Being Gay, and Humor
[10:02–10:15]
- Kendahl: "Today when we talk about lesbians, you have to start the conversation on shame. We're all still pushing through being a little perverted child and figuring things out."
- Sets the tone for the episode: open, honest, and irreverently supportive.
Listener Drama #1: Arguments In Long-Term Relationships
[10:15–19:01]
- Question: “My partner and I are arguing a lot for the first time in two years—normal?”
- Hosts’ take: Completely normal.
- "You have ups and downs…we tend to bicker more when we're not spending as much time together." [10:49, Jordan]
- "If you're not fighting, something's wrong." [11:52, Mal]
- Passive vs. active confrontation styles in relationships, and how background/family shapes conflict.
- Practical advice: Use humor, safe words, and rituals to defuse arguments.
- Mal: "Matilda and I say: 'You're being a ___,'—it's unserious so it's kind of a diffuser." [13:38]
- Jordan: “It’s not about you being a bad person. It’s just a behavior.”
- Diffusing tension: Party hats, baby voices, affirming reminders that fights don’t define love.
- On community: The value of discussing relationship ups and downs with other couples instead of single friends who might just yell “dump them!” [17:19–17:31]
Listener Drama #2: Crushing on an Older, Unavailable Woman
[20:07–24:52]
- Situation: Listener is crushing on a woman 10 years older and in a relationship with a man.
- Hosts’ reaction: The problem isn’t the age gap, but that she’s unavailable (and possibly closeted).
- “You cannot be in love with someone who’s not in love with you...that’s kind of infatuation.” [20:49–21:29, Jordan]
- Kendahl: “There’s a world where I could see sleeping with an older woman with a husband—that could be fun and kind of hot. But not falling in love.” [24:09, Kendahl]
- Mal: "Yeah, but not falling in love. That's when it becomes not fun." [24:27]
- Advice:
- Make a brutally honest pros and cons list, but "rip it up and throw it away—it's not for harboring negative feelings, just clarity." [25:13–26:41]
- The importance of taking off rose-colored glasses post-breakup.
Listener Drama #3: Labels, Queer Identities, & Community Policing
[36:48–43:09]
- Question: Married to a closeted trans woman, can I call myself a lesbian?
- Hosts’ take:
- "Maybe not the priority right now...it doesn’t really matter how you identify as long as your partner feels good about it." [37:03, Kendahl]
- “If you start calling yourself a lesbian while your partner presents as a cisgender man, it’s like soft-outing your wife—you need open communication.” [37:37, Jordan]
- On online discourse: “No one in real life talks about [this]. It’s just on TikTok. So don’t worry too much about labels.” [39:25, Jordan]
- Personal story: Responding to online hate for hypothetical non-binary or trans changes in relationships, and the absurd policing of queer identity.
- Mal on community infighting:
“There’s enough people trying to tear our community down right now—why are we tearing each other down?" [40:01, Mal]
- Kendahl’s final word:
“If who you are is a lesbian married to a man, it's just none of my...not the priority.” [41:28]
Listener Drama #4: Polycule Breakup Fallout
[43:09–50:29]
- Situation: Listener tried dating a woman from a polycule and broke up mutually—but feels the friend’s partner is “controlling,” now dislikes hanging out with them, and wants to avoid pettiness.
- Hosts’ reaction:
- “Honestly, this is like the lesbian community.” [44:31, Mal]
- “You love this person but then they bring their partner around and you’re like, not so great on their partner.” [44:37, Mal]
- The realities of friendship circles and how adult life ties you to people you might not choose to hang out with.
- Advice:
- Mal: “It's a mirror...maybe this person is in my life so that I can learn boundaries.” [46:04–47:35]
- Practice boundaries for your own good and theirs: "Boundaries are not only for you, they're for the other person as well...it can be formative for them, too." [48:32, Mal]
- If you continue to dislike someone after checking your own triggers, it’s okay to limit contact and protect your own energy. “I would love for anyone to judge me based off Kendall, or honestly, any of my friends...who you associate with really does say a lot.” [47:43, Jordan]
Listener Drama #5: Drunk Kiss & Confession
[33:38–36:43]
- Situation: Listener got crossfaded, kissed her best friend, and said "I want to marry her."
- Hosts’ reaction:
- Jordan: "Immediate apology—the sooner the better...don't act like it didn't happen." [33:40]
- They debate whether drunken confessions are always truth-telling; possibility of underlying attraction.
- Kendahl: "I've never, even at my drunkest, expressed that I wanted a relationship [with a friend]—unless I actually did." [35:05]
- Advice: "Maybe analyze why this happened...maybe do get married." [35:32, Group]
- Mal: Acknowledge your own relationship to alcohol; assess the friendship/attraction honestly, and apologize as soon as possible.
Mental Health, Intrusive Thoughts, and Relationship Security
[31:40–33:25]
- Discussion on learning to let go of obsessive fears about cheating or loss:
"You can't live in fear of someone dying...or cheating...or leaving you, because then you're just not living." [32:36, Jordan] "It takes just as much lying to yourself to predict the bad as the good—so why not just choose the good?" [32:40, Mal]
- Therapy and mental health help are encouraged for intrusive thoughts and relationship anxiety.
Where to Find Guest Mal Glowenke
[50:38–51:04]
- Made It Out: YouTube, Instagram, TikTok
- Promoting their new car game show: Out for a Drive
Notable Quotes & Moments
- Mal: "Why the fuck do you think we're so funny? Because we've had so much drama." [02:53]
- Jordan: "If you're not fighting, something's wrong." [11:52]
- Kendahl: "It is kind of like, what does [being in love] mean? When I thought I was in love at 19, so different than how I would ever feel now." [23:06]
- Mal: "The real relationships are the hardest work because it gives you this safe container to figure out all the shit you've been avoiding with yourself." [28:21]
- Kendahl: "It's not about you being a bad person—it's just a behavior." [14:11]
- Mal: "If I am only with Mathilde all the time and we are fighting, and I don't have somebody to call and just vent to...I think our relationship would not be what it is." [18:44]
- Jordan: "Anyone can die. Anyone can cheat. Anyone can leave you, whatever...just enjoy the time you have, and if something bad eventually happens, at least you will have enjoyed what you had." [32:36]
Episode Structure & Timestamps
- 00:19 – 01:16: Intro, guest intro, Mal’s favorite podcast episodes
- 01:17 – 10:02: Coming out, childhood sexuality, shame in queer communities, using humor
- 10:15 – 19:01: Listener advice—arguing in relationships, fighting as normal, safe words, and coping strategies
- 20:07 – 26:41: Unrequited crushes, infatuation versus love, how to get clarity, rose-colored glasses
- 27:17 – 31:40: Relationship security, radical trust, work in real relationships
- 33:38 – 36:43: Drunk confessions, accidental kisses, alcohol and friendship dynamics
- 36:48 – 43:09: Labels, identity politics, online discourse vs. real life
- 43:09 – 50:29: Polycule breakups, setting boundaries, adult friendship circles, self-reflection
Final Takeaways
- Conflict is normal—open conversation, humor, and safe words are tools to repair and grow.
- Boundaries matter—for yourself and others. Sometimes discomfort is a chance for self-inquiry and growth.
- Queer identity policing is unhelpful—prioritize self-acceptance and your own community over online discourse.
- Polyamorous/dating drama is often just "adulting"—and sometimes, it’s okay to just move on.
- Childhood shame and sexual curiosity are universal—healing happens in community through shared stories and laughter.
- Enjoy love and life without living in fear—and seek support for mental health when needed.
Guest links & episode extras:
- Made It Out Media: Out for a Drive [YouTube, Instagram, TikTok]
Hosts: Kendahl Landreth & Jordan Myrick
Guest: Mal Glowenke
For more advice or to submit your own drama, follow @happywifehappylifepod on Instagram.