Podcast Summary: Happy Wife, Happy Life

Episode 80: "My First Lesbian Breakup Ruined My LIFE"
Hosts: Kendahl Landreth & Jordan Myrick
Release Date: September 8, 2025

Episode Overview

This episode is all about the unique dynamics, anxieties, and advice around first queer relationships, travel as a couple, relationship labels, and the pressures of lesbian/queer dating. Kendahl and Jordan, in their signature unfiltered and loving banter, answer listener questions about long-distance crushes, "U-haul" lesbian relationship timelines, travel tips for couples, and whether marriage is defined by a legal certificate or the life you build with someone. The discussion is laced with their own relationship anecdotes, tackle cultural microaggressions, and deliver their takes on American vs. European food habits—all while maintaining their comedic, warm, and honest style.

Key Discussion Points & Timestamps

1. Life & Personal Updates (00:29–04:08)

• Kendahl updates on finally getting floors in their house and a possible rib fracture:
  “They think that they're realizing maybe my seizure and all my problems is because the whole time I've had a broken rib.” (01:10 – Kendahl)
• Angel, their dog, enjoys a new snuffle mat.
• They’re now on Cameo and planning to visit Kendahl’s mom.
• Recap of the weekend: documentary watching, coloring, sushi, and relaxing at home.

2. Listener Q&A – Relationship & Wedding Questions (04:08–07:53)

• Keeping Secrets for Surprises
  Jordan: "You have to forget about the secret. If you're constantly thinking about the secret, it's going to consume you, and you're going to want to tell them immediately." (04:23)

• Engagement Rings
  Both wear their rings daily and recommend not taking them off to avoid losing them.
  “The best advice I could give is just never take it off.” (04:46 – Kendahl)

• Flower Girl Dilemma
  If a friend doesn’t want her child to be flower girl, respect the boundary.
  “It is not, like, a legal requirement to have a flower girl.” (05:40 – Jordan)

3. Navigating Long-Distance Crushes & Relationships (06:02–08:07)

• Kendahl and Jordan share their own experience starting as a long-distance couple.
• Advice for long-distance crushes:
  • Keep communication similar to what you’d do locally.
  • Don’t let texting become the whole relationship.
  • Plan virtual dates, but keep the pace natural.
  • “If it just becomes...all just texting, stuff can become weird.” (07:21 – Jordan)

4. Travel Advice for Couples (08:07–16:59)

• Travel Card Points:
  • Get a credit card with points/miles for frequent visits.
  • “You're throwing away free money, and credit is going to struggle because of it.” (09:28 – Kendahl)
• Arguments While Traveling:
  • High-stake travel often breeds arguments due to fatigue, stress, expectations.
  • “Sometimes you're tired, you're hungry, you're spending a lot of money, so things can feel very high stakes.” (11:30 – Jordan)
• Setting Realistic Expectations & Flexibility:
  • Kendahl: “I just don't think about that. I just am like, oh, now we're going, I'll see what it's like.” (12:18)
  • Jordan suggests scheduling downtime and not over-planning.
  • Avoid focusing only on “Instagram famous” sights; enjoy spontaneous moments.
  • “Some of our favorite moments are these unexpected moments.” (14:52 – Kendahl)
• Packing & Souvenirs:
  • Pack together to avoid redundancy; try on outfits in advance.
  • Bring an expandable bag for shopping/bringing things home:
    “On the way back, [the bag] gets big and you can fill it with so much stuff.” (16:45 – Kendahl)

5. The “First Lesbian Relationship” Dilemma (17:00–26:12)

• Listener Email: Fear of intensity/quick progression in first queer relationship (“U-hauling”) and being “messed up” by a possible breakup.
• Advice on “First Lesbian High” vs. Serious Connection
  • It’s normal to bond quickly; the “high” is often genuine but can feel destabilizing.
  • “Do you want the same things? Do you like the same things? … If they line up and you're feeling in love, great.” (19:21 – Jordan)
  • The fear of losing control or things blowing up isn't helpful—you're always able to step back or shift dynamics.
  • “You're in complete control. It's not going to blow up in your face if you don't let it blow up in your face.” (20:41 – Kendahl)
  • Fear is natural but not productive; honesty and self-awareness are key.
• Breakup Impact
  • Both hosts discuss breakups with men and women; sometimes the stereotype (“first lesbian breakup destroys you”) is overblown, especially for bi women.
  • “Every relationship will affect you differently, but you're fine now and I'm fine now.” (26:04 – Jordan)

6. Labels: Marriage vs. “Being Married” (27:16–32:08)

• A listener asks: is it valid to call your partner husband/wife even without a legal marriage?
• Kendahl: Uses “wife” for professionalism and because “girlfriend” doesn’t reflect their household.
• Jordan: “You don't realize how much paperwork there is and how much stuff you have to do... It’s a very cumbersome experience.” (28:50)
• Consensus: It doesn’t matter what other people think; call your partner what feels authentic, legal status aside.

Memorable Analogy:

“If all of a sudden gay people couldn't get married, would that mean... their relationship is illegitimate?... Of course not.” (43:06 – Jordan)

7. Cultural Tangents: Food Shame and American Stereotypes (32:08–45:07)

• Extended, spirited discussion of European/American food portion discourse and online shaming.
• Observations on UK diet sodas, fake sugars, lack of “real” Coke, and “ice in drinks.”
• “You cannot take one breath, you cannot have one single bite of a sandwich online without a white European in your comments being like, 'It's so devastating to see America...' Shut up.” (34:05 – Jordan)
• Both vent about microaggressions regarding where they're "really from".
• Kendahl and Jordan share funny, memorable stories about food abroad, food snobbery, and their unique packing habits.

8. Dealing with Unsolicited Opinions (41:16–44:00)

• The underlying lesson: Most people’s opinions are just personal preferences or projections.
• “If someone's not asking you for your opinion, you might not need to give it.” (41:38 – Jordan)
• Reassurance to listeners: Your relationship labels and choices belong to you—not the random European commenter, not the nosy coworker.

9. Patreon, Book Club & Community Announcements (46:16–47:44)

• Kendahl and Jordan highlight their Patreon, upcoming book club (with “Sapphic, steamy romance” and “nonfiction or spooky, scary” picks), live chats, and more extra content.
• Invites listeners to join for a more personal, interactive experience.

10. Closing Words—Notable Quotes

• “Thank you so much for listening. And, Jordan, thank you so much for being my wife. And I'll say it, and I don't care.” (48:18 – Kendahl)
• “And in protest, after this recording, I'm gonna go get you a Dr. Pepper filled with sugar, honey.” (48:23 – Kendahl)
• “Call your partner whatever makes you happy. Label your sexuality, however makes you happy.” (43:32 – Jordan)

Notable Quotes & Moments

• “You're in complete control. It's not going to blow up in your face if you don't let it blow up in your face.” (20:41 – Kendahl)
• “Fear is never productive in a relationship.” (22:52 – Jordan)
• “If someone's not asking you for your opinion, you might not need to give it.” (41:38 – Jordan)

Tone & Takeaways

In their classic, irreverent but earnest style, Kendahl and Jordan reassure listeners to trust their instincts, communicate openly, and build the relationships and lives that feel right to them—certificates or cultural approval be damned. They remind us that fear and shame (whether in relationships or cultural squabbles about food) are best left behind, and unexpected joy is often just a koi pond—or a sugary Dr. Pepper—away.

This episode is a must-listen for anyone who’s navigating a new queer relationship, fighting the pressure of stereotypes, or wants a hearty laugh about travel, food, and love.