81: We Judge YOUR Relationship Advice

Summary

Happy Wife Happy Life – Episode 81: "We Judge YOUR Relationship Advice"
September 15, 2025
Hosts: Kendahl Landreth & Jordan Myrick

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Kendahl and Jordan dive into relationship advice found online, mostly from Reddit, and hilariously (and sometimes seriously) debate if it holds up to real-life scrutiny. They start with a cathartic update about ongoing disasters in their home life, then launch into a series of advice verdicts—everywhere from the importance of hand soap to expressing (or not expressing) unsolicited counsel to your partner. The couple also shares listener gifts, their current mental and physical state, and why, in Jordan’s words, "it's me versus corporate greed." Their signature blend of chaos, honesty, and chemistry is on full display.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Home Renovation Hell & Corporate Suffering

00:56–16:08

• The hosts are “living in [their] own prison” due to home flooding, insurance hassles, and ongoing construction.
• Jordan recounts endless, adversarial calls with both their insurance company (“I’m bartering with him...like a custody battle”—Jordan, 02:08), and American Airlines, refusing to let big corporations “pull a fast one.”
• Kendahl contrasts Jordan’s approach: “If you work in customer service...and you hear, ‘Hi, this is Jordan Myrick,’ you’re not going to win the battle.” (04:16)
• This segment is peppered with stories about customer service, Del Taco’s broken soda machine, and a general sense of being at the mercy of impersonal systems:
  • “It's me versus corporate greed.” —Jordan, 10:59
• They admit the stress has frayed their nerves (“the breaking point is here”), but manage to infuse humor and affection throughout.

Memorable Moments & Quotes

• “Jordan is always trying to call as many people so they can eventually speak to the CEO.” —Kendahl, 08:46
• “If I let go [of the avocado], I will absolutely lose it.” —Kendahl, 26:49

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2. Naming the Positives

16:08–19:13

• To counterbalance the negativity, Kendahl suggests each name three good things from the week:
  1. Kendahl bought her wedding dress (“It is so pretty...it’s vintage!”—16:27–17:18)
  2. Trip to Tahoe with Kendahl’s mom (kayaks, family fun, Swifty mom with orange sparkle nails—17:47–18:05)
  3. Taylor Swift engagement news (mostly for Kendahl’s mom’s benefit—17:28–17:34)
  4. Dog’s tummy troubles resolved (slipped into the “fourth” positive, 18:06–18:16)
• They reflect on how life’s inconveniences—handled with the manageability afforded by flexible work—provoke gratitude and awareness of others’ struggles (“If this is hard for us...I don’t even know how it is possible for anyone else,” 19:25).

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3. Judging Internet Relationship Advice

20:30–35:52

Format: Jordan presents advice; both react with banter, personal anecdotes, and occasional mild debate.

a. "Don’t date people who don’t have hand soap in their bathroom."

21:29–28:04

• Immediate agreement: “Yeah, 100%.” —Kendahl, 21:33
• Kendahl points out it’s a “straight guy problem”; women rarely lack soap (21:35–21:46).
• Tangent on handwashing: Kendahl controversially claims people can be dramatic about washing hands, leading to a comical exchange (“Where are you doing that sometimes? I haven’t seen it.” —Jordan, 22:58).
• Kendahl: “I wash my hands after the bathroom…sometimes people act like you went and jumped in the toilet and went for a swim.” (23:03–23:20)
• The larger point: lack of hand soap points to a deeper issue of being a “man-child.”

b. "When your partner wants to talk, ask if they want advice or just want you to listen."

28:04–29:21

• Both agree, noting it’s helped their relationships and referencing advice from Jordan’s dad.
• “I think it can be helpful to be like, I just need to vent or whatever. That’s actually improved my dad and I’s relationship.” —Jordan, 29:12

c. "Randomly give your partner a cold beverage on a hot day."

29:29–30:12

• Endorsed enthusiastically (“I love that, and that’s great advice.” —Jordan, 29:30).
• Segues into their shared love of mocktails, with a special shoutout to Trader Joe’s dragon fruit concentrate.

d. "No one is going to love you the way you love them."

33:53–36:31

• Initial confusion, then both agree it’s about understanding different love languages and managing expectations.
• Jordan: "You have to allow people to express love for you in the way that they're able to.”—34:06
• Kendahl: "If you're just at every moment being like, I wish they did this, I wish they did this...maybe they're showing you love in all those other ways.” (35:10)

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4. On Mental Health, OCD, and Domestic Worries

36:31–40:10

• Jordan opens up about heightened OCD from stress and post-traumatic fears dating back to childhood (“after 9/11, I would take all my possessions with me in case the house burned down”—37:24).
• Kendahl (supportively): “Once we get past all this, then we'll start tackling that.” (39:35)
• This segues into a comical episode about hiding all their batteries in the car to avoid fire hazards.

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5. Listener Mail, Treats, and Community Love

40:17–46:20

• The duo opens up P.O. box gifts on air:
  • Two books from author Emily Austin (“Such a good author. Like, such... the writing is so good. It’s so funny and lesbian.” —Kendahl, 42:18)
  • An embroidered pillow from listener Cassie reading “Break up with them” (“Wow. I absolutely love this.” —Jordan, 45:23)
• The hosts gush with gratitude: “Our fans are freaks...thank you so much. This is so awesome.” —Jordan, 44:42; 45:53

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Timestamps of Important Segments

• [00:56–16:08]: Life Disasters and Customer Service Comedy
• [16:08–19:13]: Naming Positives—wedding dress, family, dog health, Taylor news
• [20:30–35:52]: Judging Internet Relationship Advice (main topic)
• [36:31–40:10]: OCD, mental health, and battery paranoia
• [40:17–46:20]: P.O. Box Goodies (“Treat Yourself” segment)
• [46:20–46:56]: Outro and Patreon plug

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• “It's me versus corporate greed.” —Jordan, 10:59
• “If you work in customer service...you're not going to win the battle.” —Kendahl, 04:16
• "I wash my hands after the bathroom…sometimes people act like you went and jumped in the toilet and went for a swim." —Kendahl, 23:03
• “You have to allow people to express love for you in the way that they're able to.” —Jordan, 34:06
• “If I let go [of the avocado], I will absolutely lose it.” —Kendahl, 26:49
• “Break up with them.” (on embroidered pillow) —Listener Cassie, 45:23
• “Our life is great. Everything's great. We're just gonna... In general, we're just having a—” —Kendahl, 18:22–18:24 (delightfully delusional optimism)

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Tone & Style

The hosts maintain their signature blend of warmth, vulnerability, sardonic humor, and lived-in couple banter—never shying away from TMI or emotional mess, but always inviting the audience into their ever-expanding circle of chosen family.

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Bottom Line

A raw and hilarious take on relationship advice—undercut by real life mess, domestic comedy, and glimpses of intimate partnership. Whether you crave internet advice verdicts, stories of survival against faceless corporations, or just a reason to laugh through the chaos, this episode serves it all, avocado in hand.

Transcript

[A]

Introducing family freedom from T Mobile. We'll pay off four phones up to $3200 and give you four free phones, all on America's largest 5G network. Visit your local T Mobile location or learn more@t mobile.com familyfreedom. Up to $800 per line via virtual prepaid card typically takes 15 days. Free phones via 24 monthly bill credits with finance agreement, eg Apple iPhone 16128 gigabyte $829.99 eligible trade in eg iPhone 11 Pro for well qualified credits end and balance due if you pay off early or cancel contact T Mobile. Welcome to Happy Wife, Happy Life.

[B]

We're your hosts. I'm KendallAndrin and I'. Myrick. And we are two incredibly unqualified but.

[A]

Deeply in love comedians who are here to help you with all things relationships. And on today's episode, we are looking at relationship advice from the Internet and deciding whether or not it's true. Everything is so bad.

[B]

We are living in our own prison that is our home that our insurance company will not let us leave. It is a nightmare.

[A]

And what's so funny is that our insurance company, they have not even fulfilled all of the things that they needed to fulfill. And we have already gotten a letter from them notifying us that they will not be renewing the insurance insurance on.

[B]

Our condo, which is so wild, and.

[A]

Dropping us as clients, which, and I've.

[B]

Heard this is normal. But yes, I'm taking it personally. I feel a little. I take it a little bit personally. It makes me feel very. It feels like every phone call we've had with them where we've been like, what is wrong with you? They've been taking little notes and they've been saying to their other little friends at the insurance company going, oh, well, we're going to drop them after this.

[A]

Oh, I mean, well, this is the thing. I think there's two things. I guarantee you that the guy that we've been working with, who absolutely hates me for literally no reason, I've been so nice and so patient.

[B]

Can I just say really quick to interrupt that this man from the insurance company, when you hear Jordan talking to this man from the insurance company, if you had no context, you would assume it was you talking to your ex husband who you share custody of a child with.

[A]

That's what it feels.

[B]

The way you two speak to each other.

[A]

Jordan's like, I'm bartering with him. I'm like, why are we bartering? Why are we bartering? And I have a Bunch of money.

[B]

I know. And I've heard him on speakerphone be like, jordan, you know what? Like, I just want to have a good day today with you. I don't want us to have. And you being like, listen, if you're able to respect me, I'm able to respect you like, I did.

[A]

Nice.

[B]

You've been so nice. He's so.

[A]

And he's not nice nonstop, and he's rude. So I think that.

[B]

And I know he listens to this podcast just getting.

[A]

No, I think he thinks he's going to intimidate me, which I think is, like, probably common in that industry. But I think that he's like, you know, when he first spoke to me, he immediately told me that the person I had been working with before him, who was nice, I was no longer working with that because that guy was doing a bad job. I'm like, okay, that feels weird and unprofessional to tell me, but whatever. Kidding. Okay, sure. That's crazy to say to me, but fine. First thing he tells me is we were like. He was like, well, we're going to have to find someone to go after to recoup our money from your apartment flooding.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's the first thing he says to me after this. Hi, this is my name. The other guy wasn't doing a good job. I need to hear what happened again so we can figure out who to go after. Who to go after. I've had them for years.

[B]

Years.

[A]

For Home and auto. Never use that. I'm like, it's also not like this your job.

[B]

It's also not like we had, like, our apartment. Like, actually, I don't even want to say anything. I don't even want to give an example.

[A]

Give a hypothetical.

[B]

I don't give a hypothetical because I'm so scared. I feel like we have had. Because it's not even. Just. Also, if this is the first Happy Wife, Happy Life episode you're listening to.

[A]

It'S not normally an insurance podcast.

[B]

Sorry to be confusing, but our house. Our house. A room in our house flooded. So it's not even because we live.

[A]

In a very small apartment.

[B]

Right? But my point is, it's not like we live in the White House and it burned to the ground and we have to, like, do this huge. It's like, not even that much money that we needed to have given to us. The whole time. I was just like, oh, my God, I am desperate to just forget insurance exists and pay for our new floors so that we can just, like, move on from this.

[A]

Let's just take out a new credit card.

[B]

I was literally like, nothing worth this.

[A]

Nothing is hundreds of dollars every month.

[B]

Because you know what? I'll tell you. Jordan will. Jordan, like you. I don't know what the word is. You want to. It's not get even. You want what's owed to you. And when you like, Jordan is the. If you work in customer service ever, and you hear, hi, this is Jordan Myrick, you're not going to win the battle. And I'll be clear. Jordan is so kind to everyone. But, like, if you. If you're trying to pull a fast one on Jordan, it's not going to work. I'm the type of person that will just be like, I don't. I. It's not worth it to me to call them back. I don't even want to, like, deal with the energy of it. Like, they win. I'm fine. I'm the reason, probably they act the way they do. Because I will just be like, I'm not calling back you. It's the principle of it for you. You will call back and call back and be like, no, I'm not leaving. I remember one time an airline tried to take. Do you remember. You know what I'm talking about? An airline moved us to different flights.

[A]

Oh, yeah. This is something that's happened to me multiple times recently with airlines. And I'm normally kind of an airline apologist, but I'm like, your whole family works for airlines, but once again, not like, they don't own them.

[B]

You know, they work as, like, ticketing agents.

[A]

So you were like. So normally I'm like, you know, when people are like, my flight's delayed, I'm so mad. I'm like, I know. But also, like, the airline doesn't want your flight to be delayed. Like, I think there are things that people are unreasonable about. But we book our flights and then I always send them a message being like, hi, we've booked on two separate accounts because, like, I want to use points or whatever. And, you know, you can't have, like, a shared. It's a whole thing. I'll. I'll do a whole episode on points if you guys need it. But, like, I'm sure everyone. People are foaming at the mouth. Some people want to know about points. But I'll be like, listen, if. Just so you guys know, we're together, even though we're not like, on the same ticket. We're two tickets. We're together. We're partners. Can you please make lesbians?

[B]

We're romantically involved.

[A]

A picture of us kissing. I'm just like, can you make sure that, like, it's noted that these two seats are together? So if they try to, like, upgrade us, a thing that's literally never happened before once in my life. Can I quick say, John, have you ever been upgraded on a flight? What's going on? Every single person I see on Tick Tock is constantly like, I got upgraded. Whatever. I'm like, I have never Emirates in my life been upgraded on a flight.

[B]

No, I have not.

[A]

Credit cards. I'm doing all the stuff. I never once been upgraded.

[B]

But you gotta. I know. And then it's like, I. I feel like. But now they say you can't. They don't. It's not really how it used to be. Like, if it's. If you're in your honeymoon, you can't really ask. You don't need to tell them that because they're never gonna upgrade you. Because everyone just lies now. Yes, it's very devastating.

[A]

Anyway, sidebar. I digress. I am like, hey, we're together. So, like, if something happens with these seats, please make sure they stay together more than once. I've gotten a thing where they move us to two separate flights.

[B]

I keep calling them and I'm like, please move us to a separate flight. Jordan keeps making me wear these nightmarish compression socks.

[A]

Yes, I'm bad because I'm on KEND to have compression socks on. I'm the villain. But no, it's just like. So then I'm like, hi, we're on two separate flights. And then there was like, well, there's nothing we can do about that. I'm like, what do you mean? What? Fix it. What are you talking about? There's nothing you can do about it. They're like, well, something happened to the plane. Okay, that's fine. I'm flexible. You can send us out on a different day if you, like, give us a hotel credit or whatever. You could. You could, you know, you could upgrade. Hey, you could upgrade us. You gave us an upgrade. Like, where there's nothing we can do. Nothing you do. What are you talking about?

[B]

Right? Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

So one time, I had to go toe to toe with American Airlines, right? I was like, you guys, what are you talking about? And finally, in the end, they refunded me in cold, hard American cash and they gave me a credit.

[B]

But which is what I deserved, ever.

[A]

Having to talk to them so many times.

[B]

But what's amazing is you're you. Oh. But the thing is, Is that Jordan. To get that credit was on the phone. I mean, at this time we were in Copenhagen.

[A]

I just talked to 9,000 people.

[B]

You talked to hundreds of people. Yeah. Okay. And give me a call back at this number when you can. I just need to make sure. I've already talked to Jillian. Can you make sure that I want to speak with Jillian? I don't want to speak with Craig. Make sure he. These are not real people, by the way. Make sure he calls me back. You talk to so many people. Took you hours. And at the end, they're like. And here is. I mean, I'm just like, Jordan, if you worked a shift anywhere, you probably would have made more money back by the amount of time you spent on the phone.

[A]

But I'm not going to let a major corporation have my.

[B]

But that's how you. But I respect that. I really do. I just. I could never. But I feel like.

[A]

And I'm not going to be rude. The problem now is that, like, everyone is just like, doesn't want to pay anyone enough and they don't want to train them properly so no one can do their job.

[B]

There is very nice to everybody.

[A]

Nice to all the people that work there. But people are just like, there's nothing I can do. And I'll be like, okay, well, we've got to do something.

[B]

You're always wanting to talk. Jordan's. Jordan is always trying to cause many people so they can eventually speak to the CEO of these companies. I remember one time we. So we were going to Del Taco, and there's a Del Taco.

[A]

You might have told the story on the podcast where this is. I hated this. This was more about Del Taco, a company that I historically love.

[B]

We're huge. You know, it's one of those places that it's right next to our house. So we're always like, you know, we're coming home from a show. We got to get a little Del Taco.

[A]

California Mexican cuisine. Okay.

[B]

It's really good. It's really good. But every time, like, five times in a row, we'd gone and the soda was flat and like, not.

[A]

It wasn't flat.

[B]

Oh, sorry.

[A]

The soda was, like, flat, but also there was no syrup in it. Like, the machine was broken.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It wasn't.

[B]

Just something was wrong.

[A]

And it's a little. No, it was, like, disgusting and it was broke.

[B]

And Jordan's a little bit of like a soda somal, like, sometimes now are like 4.60. I'm with you.

[A]

So expensive.

[B]

I'm Just. I'm just saying I'm on your side here. Please, I'm on your side. I'm saying you're kind of a soda snob, but I'm not. And this stuff was horrible. This is horrible. Finally, after, like. And, like, a couple times, we're like, oh, whatever, whatever. Fifth time, we're like, this is crazy. Like, we can't keep. We can't keep doing. We can't keep living like this. So Jordan emails corporate, Del Taco Corporate. And I. I remember you wrote, like, the staff at this Del Taco is some of the most incredible people I've ever met.

[A]

Well, because that's true. They're extremely nice. These are incredible.

[B]

And just a separate note, like, please know that these people are so incredible and deserve all the, like, recognition. Your soda machine is broken.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

How do they respond?

[A]

I get a phone call three weeks later from the woman who manages our local Del Taco apologizing and telling me to come back in, and she'll give me a free soda. And I was like, ma', am, I'm so sorry. I specifically told them not to bother you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And that they needed to get you a new soda machine. I was like, I don't need a free soda. I just want. And she was so nice. But I was like, this is sick that Del Taco corporate could not send me an email back. A coupon in the mail. You couldn't buy these nice people a new soda machine. I just am like, it's me versus corporate greed.

[B]

That. It really is. And you are really fighting the good fight, because I will not make I anything. For me to not make a phone call is what I'm gonna do. And you will make infinite phone calls.

[A]

You.

[B]

I had watched Jordan be on the phone for nine hours.

[A]

That's fine.

[B]

Calling different people. Transfer me. Oh, yeah, please. Most of the time, when someone goes, can I transfer you? I go, sure. And then immediately hang up. I said, no, I'm not interested in ever being transferred. I'm absolutely already exhausted. If I'm being transferred, I've already been on the phone 40 minutes longer than.

[A]

I want to be. I would love to be transferred, but our insurance guy is genuinely rude. It's stuff like this always is. Like, miss.

[B]

And it's stuff like this one time. Jordan goes, I'm great. And. And I can't express. I mean, at this point, you're a little short with him, but you're so nice at this point.

[A]

It's been months.

[B]

Jordan's always, yes, it's been months. We're basically, like, in a polyamorous relationship with this man.

[A]

Yeah. They will not fix our apartment because they're like, we want to know who else we can make fix this apartment. And the answer is, no one.

[B]

Right.

[A]

You. You have to do it.

[B]

But it's stuff like. Because you say this, but it's like, you can either be rude and really good at your job, at your job, but really nice. And, like, honestly, either is fine.

[A]

Be nice and good at your job.

[B]

But that's. That's a rarity.

[A]

Rare sometimes.

[B]

I mean, I'm not that. Yeah, I'm horrible at my job, but I'm really sweet. I mean, but there's truth to it. And I just like. But. So, for example, Jordan was like, okay, great, and I'll call you Monday. And that's how he says it. Well, I'm going to tell you this right now. You won't be hearing from me on Monday. Silence. What the hell does that.

[A]

Why not? And he goes, will all be out of office on Monday. Why would you say that? Why would you say that like that? Why would you not just say, oh, I'm out of office on Monday, so I will have one of my colleagues contact you, or, I'm out of office Monday, but I'll be back in Tuesday. He also kept being like, well, your HOA needs to pay for the damage. I'm like, oh, they need to. Okay, I'll call them. Call them. They're like, no, that's not a thing. Okay. So I call him back. They say, no. He goes, no, they have to. I say, oh, they have to. They legally have to. Well, no, they don't legally have to. That's what. Have to.

[B]

They metaphorically have.

[A]

What do you mean they have to?

[B]

Spiritually, they have to.

[A]

Whatever. Finally, we get a check for the. Some of the damage. Because the guy that we've been dealing with goes out of town on vacation, and the man covering his desk finally helps us. Great. Awesome. Incredible. Finally. Months, months later. We've been living with no floors, missing a bunch of walls. Our apartment's extremely small.

[B]

Well, and the worst of it is, they did a great job. The people who are actually doing the construction are doing a great job. And they package up all our stuff into boxes, which is so appreciated and great, but also, for months, all of our stuff has been in boxes, so we, like, don't know where anything is we can't find. And in clothes, the midst of all of this, our Chihuahua is having tummy troubles. And I won't get into that for the sake of her privacy. But I will tell you. And you know, when your dog is having tummy troubles, it can really. It can really make you feel. Absolutely. It. It's like the ultimate icing on the cake.

[A]

Yeah. It puts a halt to lovemaking. That's what I'll say.

[B]

So we are mad.

[A]

We are horny. We're horny. And as you can tell, I wore my house shoes out. Out today. I forgot to change my shoes before we left because the guys that put the floor in broke our washer dryer. So I've all day been trying to coordinate with them to come fix it because they broke it when they took it out and then put it back in after they put the floors in. So now it's broken. So we have no clothes. We don't know where anything is. And then I. We were running late, so I just ran out of the house in your house shoes? Well, my house shoes. And when I. Orthopedic home slippers. And now I'll have to scrub the bottoms of them because these shoes are not supposed to go outside. They only live in the house. And when I stressed we had to stop and get.

[B]

And I see when I we. I'm walking down to our parking garage and I hear behind me, oh, my God. And I turn and see Jordan's wearing their house slippers.

[A]

I.

[B]

This is just where we're at, you guys. I feel like we're usually really go with the flow couple. I immediately I see the house slippers. I go, hey, hey, bud. Hey, bud.

[A]

It's okay.

[B]

It's okay. It's okay.

[A]

It didn't feel okay.

[B]

But I.

[A]

Shoes that are for inside are not supposed to be outside.

[B]

But this is just like where we're at. That, like, that moment was like, everything is like, we are just. The breaking point is here. So anything is that breaking point. You know what I mean?

[A]

My 13th reason, as the kids say, is that I texted this woman to be like, our dryer. You know, whatever I said, when they run a test on the dryer or when they run a test, please do it on delicate as to not shrink the clothes that are currently in the Duke yet clearly spelled dryer wrong and it autocorrected to Duke yet. Duke with a capital D. And then I had to say dryer, not Duke yet. Lol. Please kill me.

[B]

What else has happened that was horrible. Just a million things. Everything. Just a million things.

[A]

So bad. We still don't know what's wrong with Kendall mentally or physically, physically or emotionally. Our kitchen Is full of stuff, so I can't cook the one thing that truly brings me peace. Yeah, Just, like, everything's bad, so the mood is kooky. Burger King, please sponsor this podcast. Burging. Please sponsor this podcast. I love you.

[B]

Yeah, but. Okay, but you know what we should do? Let's. Because I think you and I are getting way too negative. This isn't us. Isn't who we are. Liz, we need to name three awesome things that happened this week, and then we can get into questions or whatever we're doing.

[A]

There's one big one. Can I say it?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Kendall bought her wedding dress.

[B]

I bought my wedding dress. And it is so pretty.

[A]

No spoilers, but it looks really good. It's really exciting.

[B]

I really, like, didn't. This really is a positive of this week because I kind of put off wedding dress shopping because I'm just not, like. I don't know. I'm not trying to sound like a pick me, but I'm just don't really.

[A]

Care about stuff, like, not like other girls.

[B]

She could care what I do with.

[A]

A wedding in a bikini and a football jersey.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I was desperate to do a football jersey, but Jordan really wanted me to do it in a wedding dress. No, I just, like, I thought I would really have fun going, but I didn't think I would have that moment where I'm like, this is it.

[A]

This is it.

[B]

Oh, my God. And, like, cry. I didn't cry, but I did have a moment where I was like, this is it, you guys.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It was really fun. It was wonderful, and I'm really excited. The only spoiler I'll give.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Is that it's vintage.

[A]

There you go.

[B]

And the woman who sold me the dress told me that she's gonna get a picture of the first woman who got married in that dress, and I just can't wait to get that.

[A]

Very exciting.

[B]

Okay, what are two other things?

[A]

Taylor Swift is engaged. That's huge for your mom.

[B]

That's gonna be. Oh, that is huge for my mom. I was like, that's gonna be one of your three positives.

[A]

Well, we just saw Kendall's mom, which.

[B]

Was a huge highlight.

[A]

Huge. Swifty.

[B]

My mom is the biggest Swiftie there is. She has her fingernails painted right now. Orange sparkle for. What is it called? Showgirl.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Life of a showgirl.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

We went with my mom. We went to up to Tahoe, which was a blast. We did, like, kayaking.

[A]

We did the clear kayaks, and they were so cool.

[B]

It was really fun. So we had A lot of fun up with my mom. We went. We just did a bunch of fun stuff. It was really a good time. Good time to see her. And then she and my sister came and did wedding dress shopping with me and Jordan. And it was so fun.

[A]

It was great.

[B]

Okay, one more thing, angels. Our dog is not having tummy troubles anymore.

[A]

I said three. We said Tahoe. That was the third.

[B]

Oh, and Taylor Swift.

[A]

And Taylor Swift. And then. And then our dog's the fourth one.

[B]

And then our dog's the fourth one. We have a lot of positives. Everything's great. Our life is great. Everything's great. We're just gonna.

[A]

In general, we're just having a.

[B]

But we really are at the home stretch.

[A]

I also don't like being at the mercy of other people that don't care if you live or die. It's kind of what it feels like.

[B]

You know what it is? It's like a reminder. Anytime you're reminded how absolutely fucked and I know I'm not, I'm supposed to stop cursing as much as I have been, but I'm gonna say it this time.

[A]

Who told you that?

[B]

Well, I know we have to, like, bleep it out, don't we?

[A]

Is that annoying? Well, sometimes, depending on what it is.

[B]

Sometimes I do it too much, but I'm using my one, and I'm gonna do it again. So I'll use my two.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Out of three, I'll give myself three.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

F bombs. It just reminds you how America is. That's what I just said. I was gonna use my second one.

[A]

Oh, got it. Okay, that's not gonna be.

[B]

And I have one more.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Is that. It just reminds you how fucked. That's my third fudge.

[A]

America or Kendall.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It just makes you feel. It's just feel so kooky. And then I also get sad because I'm like, oh, we have, like, a really unconventional, flexible schedule. We don'. And we're both pretty healthy. And, like, we have whatever where I'm.

[B]

Just like, we're so lucky that it's like, yeah, if this is hard for us. I actually don't even know how it is possible for anyone else. Even, like, today, which we were so appreciative, but it's like, our dryer's fixed and they came by to, like, check it out. We weren't told they were stopping by. It was just a knock on the door.

[A]

Oh, hello.

[B]

I'm like, we work from home, making Internet content. Most people are not at their house at. I don't know, 11am any day of.

[A]

The week on a Tuesday.

[B]

So it just feels. Yeah. Then it makes you go into this, like, spiral of, like, oh, my God, other people. People are dealing with the same thing right now. But you, like, can't. You can't even. If you start getting into that, you're just gonna have a mental breakdown, which we have.

[A]

So, yes, I had to park the car. I dropped Kendall off somewhere, and then I had to park the car in an empty parking lot and scream the other day. Yeah, rough stuff.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

I just needed to get it out, you know?

[B]

And did it make you feel better?

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

You didn't at all? Maybe you didn't scream hard enough.

[A]

Worse. I think I was too scared that someone was going to think I was hurt or something. I just was kind of like, ah, yeah, I didn't like, you know, I think it would have been more satisfying. Oh, my God, I kicked my ass.

[B]

This is what I mean.

[A]

This is the kind of stuff going on, you guys. This is the kind of stuff that's going on. Okay, enough of us complaining. Today we are looking at relationship advice from the Internet. I scoured Reddit for different pieces of relationship advice. Some, you know, some you've probably never heard before. And Kendall and I are going to debate all of them. You're playing with that. One of our listeners gave us a crocheted avocado, and Kendall is, like, holding it, putting it on her head. Are you okay?

[B]

Dancing at the. I just like it. I like the way it feels.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I like touching the pit.

[A]

Great.

[B]

Of the avocado. That's crocheted. Crocheting is so amazing. You are so talented.

[A]

So true.

[B]

What's the first piece of advice? Are people. My question is, I don't really understand Reddit. Are they just leaving their unprompted advice? No.

[A]

You know, like, there's, like, things where someone's like, oh, like, what's your best piece of relationship advice? Got it, got it, got it. What's your, like, most kooky piece of relationship advice that you swear by?

[B]

Got it.

[A]

Whatever.

[B]

Got. Whatever. Let's go.

[A]

Whatever.

[B]

Let's hit it first.

[A]

All right. Don't date people who don't have hand soap in their bathroom.

[B]

Yeah, 100%.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's only a problem for straight people. I have never met. That is such a man's thing. John, do you have hand soap? No. John has hand soap. I'm telling you. 100.

[A]

Have you ever put hand soap out? I. I used to bar soap when I Was single. That's soap still. That's actually eco friendly.

[B]

It's eco friendly, but that's not why John was doing it.

[A]

Yeah, that's true.

[B]

The eye. Because I've seen this. You go into someone's in a man's, like, bathroom and they've got the bar soap on, like on the sink. Nude. Okay.

[A]

It was in the shower.

[B]

So your guest had declined were to.

[A]

Wash your hands with it. I never really bothered to think about the gas.

[B]

Well, and the men are do that. Men aren't washing their hands. So it didn't really ever come up. Probably.

[A]

He says he washed his hands at work. Something's really.

[B]

And I actually get that. No, you know what? Actually, I'm going to say no. Last time I tried talking about this, I got literally.

[A]

I'm literally actually so bad let you say it, Kendall. Well, I will tell you. Kendall tried to say this one time on the podcast and our editor thought it was so upsetting that he edited it out and he wouldn't let me.

[B]

Put it back in. I was like, well, no, it's fine. And Jordan and him were like, I would leave it out. I wasn't.

[A]

You know, keep it brief.

[B]

I just said sometimes people are a little drama about the hand washing after the bathroom. I get it. I wash my hands after the bathroom. Of course.

[A]

And where are you doing that sometimes? I haven't seen it.

[B]

Okay, so how come you're allowed to say that? That is a total lie.

[A]

That's a lie.

[B]

I do wash my hands after I use the restroom. But sometimes it's like people will act like you went in and jumped in the toilet and went for a swim and then got out and just like, it's like, ridiculous. I'm like, like, what are you guys doing in the bathroom? That makes it so disturbing to like, in the middle of your day at your house, just like, pop in and out of the bathroom without washing your hands.

[A]

Near my genitals and butt.

[B]

What is wrong with your genitals and butt? Is all I have to say. Nothing.

[A]

But you should. I. I wash my hands before I go to the bathroom. And after.

[B]

Okay, congratulations.

[A]

There's actually this scene in the Shape of Water. If you guys have seen the Shape of Water where Michael Shannon, like, sees someone in the bathroom. I honestly don't even remember who it is. Is it Sally Hawkins? Is it Octavia Spencer? Those are the three people I remember from the movie.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He runs into someone in the bathroom. He's like the bad guy and he washes his hands and Then he goes to the bathroom and then doesn't wash his hands when he leaves. But before he leaves, he's like, oh, it says a lot about a man, whether he washes his hands before or after he goes to the bathroom.

[B]

Well, yeah, because. What? Because I don't remember this, but is it because it's like your hands are disgusting from the day and you're comfortable touching your genital.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And then after, it's like, what are you even doing? Like, what are you even washing your hands from?

[A]

Genitals.

[B]

But why are your genitals so dirty? I'm just like, what is this? They're not dirty. But, like, I get it. I understand it, obviously, but I think it's the same thing.

[A]

People.

[B]

I understand it.

[A]

You just don't adhere to it.

[B]

I don't.

[A]

I don't trust it.

[B]

I'm just. And I don't want to do it. No. I'm just. I. And of course, once again, I wash my hands. I am just like. It's the same thing with, like, toilet seats. People be like, well, the most disgusting thing in the world is a toilet seat. And I go, no, the most disgusting thing in the world is your cell phone sitting in your hand right now.

[A]

That's true.

[B]

My pants are covering my. And they briefly sat on this piece of metal. It's like, not. Or not metal. What is that? Silicone?

[A]

What is it? What are you talking about?

[B]

Toilet seat? No, not porcelain.

[A]

Silicone. Metal and silicone. Wow.

[B]

Beautiful.

[A]

Anyways, I agree. You guys know I've said this before. I think, like, I don't. I don't understand people who think feet are gross because I'm like, well, feet are fine. Shoes are gross because the foot is inside the shoe and the shoe is touching everything. So I understand, like, where you're coming from, but, like, your generals in your bucket. Sweaty.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And, like, stuff happens.

[B]

No, I got it. I'm not, like, confused as why someone would wash their hands. And I do wash my hands after use the restroom. I'm just saying sometimes when people are.

[A]

Like, oh, my God.

[B]

I just kind of, like, calm down.

[A]

Sure, a little bit.

[B]

But I think with men specifically, but anyone. I've just never experienced this. I've never dated a man. But, like, in my experience dating women, this has never been a problem. But I see on Love is Blind a lot. The men feel really like everyone's being so dramatic because I don't have actual plates. I just have paper plates. And it's like. Because this is a look into the bigger Problem, which is that you were like a man, man child, you know? Sabrina Carpenter.

[A]

Don't get us demonetized.

[B]

Oh, was that quick enough? I just sang one word.

[A]

Don't worry, it was off key enough.

[B]

That is so rude. No, it's like. It's a bigger problem, the fact that you don't have plates in general. If you had your whole life together and then you had this quirk where you didn't have plates and you had paper plates, I still would be like, I wouldn't want to do that. And it's wasteful, but at the same time, it's not that big of a deal. But it's just explaining that you've never really grown up and that your mom probably. I can assume from that that your mom probably does a lot for you and you're going to expect this woman to do a lot for you, too.

[A]

Absolutely.

[B]

But if everything was immaculate and there was just no soap, I wouldn't think it was a problem. But I just have a hard time believing that would be the case. And so does Mr. Avocado over here. What are you looking at me for?

[A]

It feels like you're losing it.

[B]

I am losing it.

[A]

Are you holding this crocheted avocado?

[B]

I'm, like, tethered to this. It's like my.

[A]

You're gripping it, like, a little too tight. Yeah. It's, like, kind of scary. If I let go, I will absolutely lose it. No. Yes. Okay, well, I will say, sorry. I was gonna move on, but then I had a thought. I one time dated a guy back when I did that. Because I know what you're gonna say. What?

[B]

No, you can say it.

[A]

I just love fight. Because his bathroom was so nasty. Shower, the whole thing. He lived with, like, multiple other men, and I was like, you have to make it where the bathroom feels better. So when I come here, I have a place to, like, go to the bathroom and shower and stuff.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because this is, like, too nasty. It's, like, unfair to do this.

[B]

Was it kind of like inch of water? Like, nothing was draining?

[A]

Nothing was draining. Lots of hair. Nothing was clean. No products, no light. Like, there's one light bulb that worked out of the four lights that were supposed to work.

[B]

You know what really gets me when someone. I go into someone's shower to use it consensually, and they've told me I can use it.

[A]

Okay, I'm following.

[B]

And they have a shampoo slash conditioner. I go, I should have been told this before I got in.

[A]

I think that's Elitist. I think it depends on what purpose is elitist. I think it's elitist.

[B]

Kidding me? I can't do a shampoo conditioner duo on my hair. I can't.

[A]

Why?

[B]

Oh, I've never tried, but that's what.

[A]

I thought, and that's what I thought, and we're moving on. When your partner wants to have a serious talk, ask them if they want your advice or if they just want you to listen.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Agree.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, I think to, like, a certain degree, because I also think. I think more. You know, what I think is better than that is, like, I need to. I'm already. I guess because sometimes I'm like, I don't want to be someone where it's like, I'm clearly doing this thing, and if you have anything to say, I don't want to hear it at all. But sometimes it's just, like, explaining the headspace you're already at. Like, I feel like before, I've been like, here's my problem right now. This is how I'm already feeling about it. So I'm not really necessarily, like, looking for more critiques, but that I. You know, but that doesn't mean. If you were like, well, I've been through the same thing and this helped me, I would be like, no. You know what I mean?

[A]

Yeah, absolutely. I mean, it's not like you can never speak, but I do think it's helpful. This is, like, my dad honestly taught me, is that my dad, who is similar to me, is very much like a fixer. So when you go to him and you're like, oh, this thing's annoying me right now. It's like, well, how can we fix it? How can we strategize? Which is, I think, very helpful. But not always, like, the mood you're in.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So I think it can be helpful to be, like, 100. I just need to vent or whatever. I would say that's actually improved my dad and I's relationship.

[B]

I love that.

[A]

Can you believe.

[B]

Yeah, I agree with that piece of advice.

[A]

I think it's nice. I think it's helpful. Randomly give your partner a cold beverage on a hot day.

[B]

Yeah, I think that's great.

[A]

I love that, and that's great advice.

[B]

Can I just say, we've gotten so into mocktails this year.

[A]

We love them.

[B]

Little mocktails before bed. And what have we been using? The Dragon Fruit, Trader Joe's. Trader Joe's concentrate. And it's so good. We just do a little bit of it into any. We get A little cup. You do a little ice. You put a little of the concentrate. You could put a Fresca. You could put anything. And it tastes so good.

[A]

It's true.

[B]

Really tasty.

[A]

It's true.

[B]

What are you looking at me like? You keep looking at me kind of like, sly, cute.

[A]

You're just being cute. You're in, like, a little mood.

[B]

What? It's cause I got my avocado.

[A]

I think you're, like, really trying to overcompensate. Cause you know that I've been upset today because of a lot we've had to deal with. So I think you're really trying to be like, and I'm having fun.

[B]

That was, like, right before we sat down. And I actually, like, need to not do. This is, like, not helpful at all. Like, I can hear it as it's coming out of my mouth. I'm like, if I was in a bad mood, this would not make me feel better. But as we're sitting down for the podcast to Jordan, I'm like, and let's just have a good time. Like, let's just have a good time during. Like, this is fun. Everything's fun. Like, this isn't. Like, let's just, like, we got it. Everything's good. It's fine. I just, like, go on this long monologue of how great things are going to be, and you're like, at one single, tears rolling down your face. Okay. I can really. I will really fake it till I make it. I feel like if I just repeat to everyone that we're having fun, we will be having fun. But I am having fun. You're having fun, right?

[A]

We're having fun.

[B]

This is fun.

[A]

Well, I'm having fun. Yes. I. I think sometimes you get worried. It's. I think it's very sweet. I think sometimes you don't want me to feel an ounce of discomfort. Okay, hold on. We have to pause for one second. I think these are the housing people. Oh, wait. This is our vet. Hold on.

[B]

Today's episode is sponsored by Mint Mobile procrastinators. Watch out. Mint Mobile's best deal of the year is ending soon. 50% off unlimited premium wireless for new customers. Cut your wireless bill to $15 a month when you switch, all while keeping the coverage and speed you're used to. Use your own phone with any Mint Mobile plan. Keep your phone number and all of your contacts. It couldn't be easier to make the switch. I love Mint Mobile. It's so easy to set up. And I love that you get to Keep your phone number and all of your contacts. Because some of my contacts go back to the sixth grade. And even though I'm not daily texting Jeremy for math class, I still don't want to give up his number. Don't miss out on three months of unlimited premium wireless from Mint Mobile for 15 bucks a month. But hurry, because this deal ends September 22nd. Quit stalling and start saving when you make the switch. Shop [e-mail] wife that's mintmobile.com wife upfront payments of $45 required, equivalent to $15 per month limited time. New customer offer for the first three months only. Speeds may slow above 35 gigabytes on unlimited plan taxes and fees. Extra cement Mobile for details.

[A]

And we're back in.

[B]

I'm sorry, I was just like, oh, my. Like, as soon as you answered, I was like, oh, my God. If they were like, she's not doing well.

[A]

Can you imagine after all of this? Can you imagine?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And if you're like, wait, why is this podcast episode this week a little bit shorter? It's because I had to take like a 15 minute call from our vet where our dog is. Because I was like, I gotta talk to the vet. There's no. There's no waiting. The dog's good.

[B]

She's well.

[A]

She said she had a beautiful, beautiful blood work. Blood work test. Incredible. Thank God. Incredible. I can. I can breathe easy.

[B]

Yeah. As long as our dog's okay, it's okay.

[A]

Truly. That is what it feels like.

[B]

Everything.

[A]

Is that funny, John? John, is that funny to you? What's so funny about that?

[B]

I was just like, after this whole podcast and we answered and they were like, it's like, because you had to put her on speaker because Jordan's phone.

[A]

Is also, like, broken right now. Wait, one of you guys, Anyone in this room or at home, tell me what's wrong with my phone.

[B]

I.

[A]

When you call me or I call you and someone answers, I can't hear. But then I put it on speakerphone and I can hear. I can. I cannot hear it if it's not on speakerphone. I don't think it's any settings. It's not like, oh, well, something's going on. But if, you know, if you need.

[B]

A new phone, you have a kind of like an old phone. And I keep saying that, like. And I listen, don't get me started.

[A]

Speakerphone. That doesn't make sense.

[B]

I. Because they're going into the phone and breaking it. I'm telling you. I told you, I won't rant about this because I've already done it before, but. But these phone companies are scamming you, and they're gonna make it to where you have to buy a new phone every single year. And yours is, like four years old now or something.

[A]

I don't know. I have no phone. You do it for a living.

[B]

You gotta get a new phone.

[A]

All right, buy me a new phone.

[B]

Okay. I told you I would. Okay, what's the next piece of advice?

[A]

No one is going to love you the way you love them. What? I actually think that's true. What does that mean?

[B]

Not as much as. I guess.

[A]

No, no, no.

[B]

Just the way you love. Just the way you love them.

[A]

Yeah. I think that you can't expect someone to love you in the exact same way that you love them because they're a different person. So I think, and this is something that I learned in therapy, that ended up being very healing for me for some of the relationships I had, like, not even romantic relationships, just interpersonal relationships, is that you have to allow people to express love for you in the way that they're able to. Because I am very verbal, and so I think if someone was not very verbal with me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I think I took it as, like, a slight. Or they didn't feel that way once again.

[B]

But you probably weren't seeing all the ways they showed the love. Yes.

[A]

Or I was seeing it and I was appreciating it, but I wasn't clocking it as the way they show. Wasn't being like, oh, that's the way they're showing love.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I think if you need someone in a romantic relationship, for example, that shows love, this, like, similar to you, you should look for that. But I also think it would help everyone in their life feel happier. Yeah. If they were more open to experiencing love. That wasn't just exactly the way that they give it.

[B]

Yeah, totally. I'm with you there. I'm with what. Because I feel like that is something that I like. I also think it takes off the pressure of. You see so much stuff online. It's like, if your partner's not doing this, then you need to dump them, Whatever. And with a lot of stuff, I think it's more just like, generally if they're making you feel uncared for, but if you're just at every moment being like, like, I wish they did this, I wish they did this, I wish they did this. It's kind of like maybe they're showing you love in all those other ways. I feel like, more often than not, it is that one person feels like they're not giving and getting enough, and one person feels like they're giving as much as they can, and none of it's being seen. I feel like that's a really common dynamic. Yeah. And I feel like that can be really hard. So I think I. I feel like we both try to acknowledge the way in which the other person shows love. Like, I feel like there's things you do that I wouldn't think to do for you, but it's, like, how? Well, like, you cook for me.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And you do problem solve for me, and, like, it annoys me sometimes. Like, we do argue about it where I'll be like, oh, my God, you're such a problem solver. Like, stop. But that is how you show love. Like, you don't do that for people you don't care about.

[A]

That's true.

[B]

And. Yeah. Yeah. And I feel like there's stuff I probably do. Like, what's something I do that you now are like, oh, that's Kendall showing love. But to me, I would never clock.

[A]

Well cleaning the house. Like, used to. I would come home after a stressful day, and I had told you that I had had a stressful day. And then you'd be like, I've steamed the floors.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I would be like, okay, yeah. Oh, you're doing that for me. Which is very nice.

[B]

Weirdly, that is how I even. Like, I've always done that. Like, if even as a kid, I was just like, oh, if someone's stressed out, I should clean their space.

[A]

It's very nice. I love. I mean, and now I've become accustomed to it.

[B]

Yeah. Now you.

[A]

So something's not going well for me. I'm like, clean, clean, clean my room. I need help.

[B]

It can just really turn everything around when you have, like, a clean space. When you walk into your room and the be made and the candle is lit, I feel like you can become a whole new person. I'm. I'm suddenly, like, I can achieve anything.

[A]

But unfortunately, we can't light candles right now.

[B]

Well, this is. Now we're gonna have to just go to therapy, because now, because of the flood and after my medical stuff, Jordan is kind of like, in this place, which I totally understand, where you're like, anything could go wrong at any moment.

[A]

My OCD is out of this world.

[B]

And you can edit this out. You can edit this out, but do you want to talk about the battery?

[A]

Oh, my God. Yeah. This is so stupid. I'm Basically, you can edit that. No, no, it's. It's good. I am. My OCD is going crazy and I'm doing this thing that I used to do when I was a child right after 911 happened. Where after 911 happened. I would take all of my. I lived in Florida. And granted, like, I did know my. A lot of my family works for the airline, so I did know people that like, yeah, died in 911 and things like that. Very sad. But I got where I was. I was like, my house is going to catch on fire. My house is going to catch on fire. So every time I would leave my house, I would take like, my. My four most prized possessions with me because I was like, my house is going to catch on fire while I'm gone. My baby blanket that my mom made that I still have.

[B]

We still sleep with.

[A]

Yes. A stuffed white dog that I had since I was born named Curly. Probably a Barbie of some sorts. Like, maybe. I think I had this little pink purse that I really liked and I would bring that too. Or sometimes I would bring like my homework or whatever.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I was just like, well, when I come back, the house is going to be on fire. On fire. So. And I've been having that recently. I'm like, the house is going to be on fire when I come home. So I kind of like, plan accordingly. Or like, sometimes I have to actively stop myself during the day from like, texting her upstairs neighbor and being like, hey, Queen, how's my house? Your question mark. Which is so crazy because if my house is on fire, her house is on fire because we live in an apartment building. And she would have reached out. So I just am feeling unwell. But I did this thing where, of course, my whole tick tock for you, Paige, now is people being like, here's how your house catches on fire in ways that you don't even think about. I'm like, oh, my God, I need to throw my phone into the ocean. But one of them is like, did you realize that, like, if you have batteries that you're keeping, and the batteries are just like in a thing and they're touching each other, they. There could be like a charge and then they could set your house on fire. So I got scared and we were going to visit Kendall's mom. So, like, literally, as we were about to leave our house.

[B]

House. Well, I took the batteries out of.

[A]

The junk drawer and I brought them on the road trip with us.

[B]

What I get, I'm like, I. I'm in the car and Jordan gets in the car, and they turn to me and they go, don't. Don't laugh, but all the batteries we own are in the trunk of the car.

[A]

I was like, I did something really unwell, but I just needed to do it.

[B]

But you know what? Once we get past all this, then we'll start tackling that.

[A]

But it's like, then, of course, Kendall's like, wait, should we be leaving the batteries in the trunk of the hot car? And I was like, no. I looked at that, and then it's like, don't leave batteries in a hot space. I'm like, oh, there is no winning. So then I was like, maybe I should put the batteries out in, like, the front of our apartment building. And then I was like, well, what if I need a battery? It's not going well, right? Things are not going well inside or outside of me, but I'm trying my. Going well outside of you. You look awesome. No, that. Oh, I was like, the house stuff inside my physical appearance.

[B]

I said, you look so hot. What are you talking about?

[A]

It's fine.

[B]

Wait. Should we open a little treat for ourselves?

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

So hard.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

We do have a lot of P.O. box stuff that we've. We've received, and we have not opened any of it because our house is a nightmare. If you haven't heard already, our house is a disaster. So we haven't opened any of it because people are coming in and out of our house. We don't want anything to get damaged or lost or put in water or painted. I don't know. But we're gonna do a huge unboxing on our Patreon where we do all of it. But we figured we'd do a little sneak peek today, because if you don't know, if you send us something, we'll put it on our set. And we want to build kind of a big set. That's how I got these two things.

[A]

So cute. One of our fans handmade those.

[B]

Handmade these and all this stuff up there.

[A]

We got baby horse. Baby horse or little horse?

[B]

Little horse.

[A]

Little horse. Sorry, I thought he was a baby. That's actually a grown man. We got all kinds of stuff. So, Kendall, you have. Where are the things? You got them?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm so excited. So once again, okay, Join our Patreon. Send stuff in. We'll put it up in the studio. And soon on Patreon, we'll be doing a huge unboxing videos as one of our, like, Patreon episodes and behind the scenes, like, moments. Yeah. We're gonna unbox all the stuff you guys have sent us. It's really exciting. So go join our Patreon.

[B]

And if you haven't sent something yet and you want something to be featured on our set, send it on over to our P.O. box, which is all over every socials. It's very easy to find.

[A]

Yeah. Yes.

[B]

Okay. This is. It's not. It doesn't say who it's from on the packaging.

[A]

Who's it from? Okay. Hopefully there's a card inside.

[B]

I think there probably is. It feels kind of like a book or something. It's two books.

[A]

Oh, wait.

[B]

This is not from a fan, but this is cool. We'll do one more. This is not from a fan. This is from one of our favorite authors, Emily Ostman.

[A]

Okay. Well, wait.

[B]

This is so exciting, though.

[A]

Thanks, Emily.

[B]

Emily Austin is one of our favorite authors. She writes. What's the book we just read? Interesting Facts about Interesting Facts about Space, which was one of my favorite reads of the year.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Such a good author. Like, such like. The writing is so good. It's so funny and lesbian.

[A]

So she's gay. This is her new book. I don't even know if it's out yet, but she was like, hey, can I send you a copy? I was like, hey, want to send us two copies so we can keep one and then give one copy away to our Patreon subscribers?

[B]

Oh, my gosh. Perfect. So if you join our Patreon, we might. We'll be doing a giveaway over there for this book. Seriously, Such a good author.

[A]

Wait. I'm so excited.

[B]

Give me one of them and then I'll go get one.

[A]

Give me both of them. Sorry. All right, I'll. Let me read the back of it. I'll do a plug. Emily, we love you, Queen. Darcy's life turned out better than she could have ever imagined. She's a librarian at her local branch, while her wife, Joy runs a book binding service. Between the two of them, there is no more room on their shelves. With their ample book collections, various knickknacks, baubles, and dried bouquets, rounding out their ideal life are two cats and a sun soaked house by a lake. But when Darcy receives the news that her ex boyfriend, Ben has passed away, she spirals into a pit full of guilt and regret, resulting in a mental breakdown and medical leave from the library. When she returns to work, Darcy is met with more unrest as protests around intellectual freedom result in a call for book bans and a second look at the branch's upcoming DEI program. Through the support of her wife and colleagues, and by examining her past, Darcy discovers her own agency and how to rally the community that stands with her. Is this a cry for help? Not only offers a moving portrait of queer life after coming of age, but also powerfully explores questions about sexuality, civil responsibility, and the importance of libraries. I'm so excited that Emily. Thank you for sending this over.

[B]

Oh, Emily is absolutely the best.

[A]

And once again, join our Patreon. We're going to be giving one of these away.

[B]

Oh, my gosh. So exciting. Okay, okay. This is actually from. That was also from our P.O. box.

[A]

But sometimes it's hard to know Emily's a fan.

[B]

Yeah. Wait a minute. That was fan mail, and it is gonna go on our set. Okay. This is for Happy Life podcast from Cassie.

[A]

Cassie. Where's Cassie from? What state does it say?

[B]

Charlotte, North Carolina.

[A]

Oh, we love Charlotte, North Carolina. Our producer, Blake is from North Carolina.

[B]

Oh, yeah. And I'm from North Carolina originally. Yeah.

[A]

Yes. What do we think it is? Okay, wait.

[B]

Okay. Well, first of all. Oh, my gosh. What is happening? First of all, there's a wonderful letter that I is on a Hostess cupcake.

[A]

Box, which I love. Our fans are freaks. Don't read it out loud. It might be private.

[B]

That's what I'm. No. Okay, okay. This is fine to read out loud. Dear Kendall and Jordan, when Jordan said, somebody needs to embroider that on a pillow, I sprang into action.

[A]

Love the pod.

[B]

And I do think more people should break up with their partners. Do you like my packaging? Reduce, reuse, recycle a. Feel free to put the pillow on the new set if you'd like.

[A]

They did not embroider that long thing I said on a pillow.

[B]

Oh, I like. It's not the long. It's much more classy. Break up with them.

[A]

Wow. I absolutely love this. I'm a.

[B]

No. I was like. Well, I was laughing because. So there was a clip where Jordan said this really long thing. It was, like, embroidery on her pillow. And I was like, how did they.

[A]

Fit it into this bag?

[B]

But this is so much more.

[A]

Love it. This is perfect. Wow. Thank you so much. This stuff rocks. And once again, anything homemade. If you guys have a small business where you sell, like, gay candles or whatever, great. Send us a candle. We'll put it up. We want to support all y'.

[B]

All.

[A]

This is so awesome. Wow. What fun items.

[B]

What fun. Because we just have the best listeners. Truly. I'm so excited.

[A]

Oh, a bad day, but a great way to end the pod. Well, that's why.

[B]

That's why I was like, I know we're running out of time, but we should open something because I knew it would make us feel. It would make us feel better. Gosh, Cassie, thank you so much. This is so thoughtful and sweet and perfect and. And you're so talented. Yeah, you're also talented. Thank you so much.

[A]

Wow, this is awesome. Well, thank you again for watching. As always. This is a completely independently created, produced, made podcast by me and Kendall with the help of our friends here at 7equus and our producer, Blake. But we really foot the bill. So make sure to, like, comment, subscribe, share, Join our Patreon where you can get ad free episodes, extra episodes, giveaways, live chats. You can be part of our book club that we're doing every single month. And we're having so fun.

[B]

We're having fun over at the book club.

[A]

It's unbelievable. So go join our Patreon and that's all for this week. Happy Monday.

[B]

See you later.

[A]

John. Cut. Cut the camera.

[B]

This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. You chose to hit play on this podcast today. Smart choice. Make another smart choice with Auto Quote Explorer to compare rates from multiple car insurance companies all at once. Try [e-mail] com progressive casualty insurance company and affiliates. Not available in all states or situations. Prices vary based on how you buy.