96: Is It BAD to be In Love with Your BFF? (AITA)

Summary

Happy Wife, Happy Life – Episode 96: “Is It BAD to be In Love with Your BFF? (AITA)”

Hosts: Kendahl Landreth and Jordan Myrick
Release Date: February 2, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this lively and candid episode, comedians Kendahl Landreth and Jordan Myrick dive deep into the tricky territory of relationships: boundaries, friendship crushes, fashion woes, and (most of all) listeners’ “Am I the Asshole?” scenarios sent in for candid and sometimes hilarious judgment. The episode blends personal storytelling with listener confessions, all in the signature loved-up, queer, and irreverent tone Kendahl and Jordan are known for.

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Key Topics and Discussion Points

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Fashion Chats & Gray Hoodie Love

• Tone: Playful, relatable couple banter.
• Discussion: Kendahl recounts recently spilling soda on a beloved (and expensive) Aritzia hoodie, launching into a debate about the value of investing in staple clothing items versus thrifting or buying cheap fast fashion.
  • “This is my new hoodie. I love this hoodie...it's ridiculous because it's like a hundred dollar hoodie, but it literally is just gray and there's no reason for it to be expensive in that way.” (Kendahl, 01:32)
• Jordan confesses to being the more fashion-obsessed one in the relationship and jokes about the ongoing struggle with buying, loving, and quickly cycling through items (especially jeans) thanks to fluctuating body sizes.
  • “At my ripe age of 32, I'm coming to terms with the fact that I do not want to wear a structured pant ever. Even a jean.” (Jordan, 04:00)
• Both reflect on the emotional weight of cyclical shopping and how comfort wins out in their thirties.

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Bridgerton & Queerbaited TV Frustrations

• Tone: Fun, exasperated queer fandom.
• Kendahl reveals she's a Bridgerton superfan, tolerating no criticism.
  • “Bridgerton is only good vibes for me. I think it’s incredible. This whole month...I identify as a straight woman. That's how I feel.” (Kendahl, 06:01)
• They joke about every season promising more queer representation but rarely delivering, then pivot to their irritation with “gay undertones” and the lack of open queer content for lesbians.
  • “Gay undertone is called—being alive is...” (Kendahl, 07:00)
• Rant about being recommended shows with barely-there sapphic content (e.g., “heated rivalry” between women where nothing happens).

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Heated Rivalry: Queer TV & Instant Chemistry

• Tone: Candid, cheeky.
• The hosts review a new gay TV show centering gay men, and joke about how, unlike the eternal lesbian yearning trope, male shows get action immediately.
  • “They’re sucking dick in the first 30 seconds of the show. Like, immediately it starts. And I’m like, yeah, that’s what it means. Lesbians are obsessed with yearning. Not me, honey. I’m bored.” (Jordan, 07:56)
• They humorously admit the show is so hot they have to pause to, ahem, take care of business after every episode, so it’s difficult to keep watching.
  • “We watch it and then immediately have to go to Pound town.” (Jordan, 09:08)

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Main Segment: Am I the Asshole? (AITA) — Listener Dilemmas & Unfiltered Judgments

(Starts ~09:16)

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1. [Jordan’s AITA] Honking at Drivers Without Turn Signals

• She admits to honking at drivers even with no imminent danger, just to “teach” them.
• Kendahl says it’s dangerous and pointless; the other driver probably doesn’t know why they’re being honked at.
• “Honking is so dangerous...I think sometimes when–when I hear a honk...I go, who am I about to hit?” (Kendahl, 11:00)
• Consensus: Not truly an asshole, but maybe a menace.

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2. [Listener AITA] Hating a Friend’s Girlfriend

Story at 13:58

• Listener can’t stand their friend’s girlfriend, who is rude and potentially a cheater; wants advice on making them break up.
• Jordan and Kendahl agree: You probably have to stop being close friends, since the relationship predates your friendship, and the friend isn’t likely to leave her girlfriend for your sake.
• “I have unfortunate news for you. You have to stop being friends with your friend.” (Jordan, 16:42)
• Suggest gently requesting 1:1 time, but accept it may not work.
• “I do think a partner is a huge reflection of you...and if you really don’t like that partner, unfortunately, you have to stop hanging out with your friend.” (Jordan, 20:06)

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3. [Kendahl’s AITA] Hating Sob Stories on Competition Reality Shows

Segment at 22:35

• Kendahl confesses she dislikes contestants leveraging personal tragedy on singing/wedding shows (e.g., “Say Yes to the Dress” or “American Idol”), feeling it’s manipulative and off-topic.
• “Whenever people on a competition show talk about something horrible that’s happened to them, I think that shouldn’t be allowed…” (Kendahl, 22:35)
• Jordan calls this “asshole behavior,” but mostly harmless if kept private.
• Both reminisce about staged or forced reality TV drama and share favorite wild reality TV quirks.
• “I feel like we're both going through something hard, but you're getting all this attention because you are comfortable with it, which is great. But also sometimes people like that, they like, play it up anyway.” (Kendahl, 29:52)

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4. [Listener AITA] Not Disclosing Past Crush on a Friend to Girlfriend

Segment at 32:18

• Listener dated someone while secretly in love with a best friend (now currently dating the friend), but never told then-girlfriend the truth.
• Jordan is adamant: “Don’t date someone else if you’re in love with someone else. That’s asshole behavior.” (Jordan, 33:44)
• Kendahl tries to empathize, but agrees if the feelings persist and interfere, it’s not fair to others.

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5. [Listener AITA] Fleeing the Country Instead of Breaking Up

Segment at 34:35

• Listener asks if they’re the asshole for leaving the country to avoid breaking up face-to-face.
• Story sparks a debate, with Jordan confessing to semi-ghosting a French ex, but both land on:
  • “I think they are an asshole. But I can say, when you have the option, it is tempting...” (Jordan, 41:12)

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Queer Identity, Bisexuality, and Internet Backlash

• Kendahl and Jordan vent about how queer women expressing attraction to men online ("Pedro Pascal, Hottie Patati") leads to biphobia accusations and queer policing.
• Candid, exasperated: “Why is a gay man allowed to be like, ‘I wish I could sit on Cher’s face’, and no one ever doubts that he’s gay?” (Jordan, 37:56)
• Discussion of maybe dedicating a future episode to the topic with a guest ("Jason").
• Both remark how online discourse doesn’t reflect their real-life queer/Bi+ friend groups.

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Memorable Moments & Quotes

• On fashion:
  • “If you're gonna buy, like, three things a year and you want one of them to be a $150 gray hoodie, I couldn't understand it less. But, like, that's your business.” (Jordan, 02:45)
• On yearning vs. sex in queer shows:
  • “Lesbians are obsessed with yearning—not me, honey. I’m bored.” (Jordan, 08:01)
• On relationship boundaries:
  • “If you want to date this person, it makes me start to like you less.” (Kendahl, 18:33)
• On manufactured TV drama:
  • “My number one deal breaker is I do not want ghosts.” (Clip from “House Hunters," 30:57)
• On queer internet policing:
  • “Anytime you say anything as a lesbian...all the comments will be like, ‘Just so you know, bisexuality exists, hey, time to wake up and accept that you’re bisexual.’ Shut up.” (Jordan, 37:56)
• On being vulnerable vs expressing tragedy for sympathy:
  • “What do you want from me? What do you actually want from me? This is classic manipulation tactic.” (Kendahl, 31:56)

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Notable Timestamps

• Opening banter & hoodie chat: 00:30–05:08
• Bridgerton / Queer TV: 05:17–08:10
• Heated Rivalry & “yearning” debate: 08:10–10:14
• AITA Segment Starts: 09:16
• Listener’s bad girlfriend dilemma: 13:58
• Kendahl’s reality show sob story gripe: 22:35
• Ex/BFF secret crush/relationship triangle: 32:18
• Fleeing the country to break up: 34:35
• Queer labeling woes: 36:16–39:44

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Closing Mood

Kendahl and Jordan wrap up with love for the community, playful self-deprecation, shoutouts to fellow podcasters Tony and Ryan, and a promise of more fun, queer, sometimes serious, always unfiltered relationship wisdom. The chemistry is both couple goals and proof of why the podcast resonates: it’s honest, funny, and fiercely loving.

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For the full Happy Wife, Happy Life experience, join their Patreon for extras. No jeans required.

Transcript

[A]

Hey, y'.

[B]

All.

[C]

As a growing family, my husband and I love game night. Especially when it's Wayfair edition.

[A]

Let's do it.

[D]

You gotta name as many Wayfair furniture and decor categories as you can.

[A]

Ready?

[D]

Go.

[C]

Sofas, bar stools, beds, ottomans, outdoor seating, bookshelves, kitchen tables, garden sheds, uh, mid century modern lamps.

[A]

Time.

[B]

Nice.

[D]

You got nine out of a lot.

[A]

Not too bad. Keep practicing by visiting Wayfair.com which you.

[B]

Can shop every style for every home.

[D]

Wayfair.

[B]

Every style. Every home.

[A]

Welcome to Happy Wife, Happy Life. We're your hosts. I'm Kendall Landrin.

[B]

And I'm Jordan Myrick.

[A]

We're two incredibly unqualified but deeply in.

[B]

Love comedians who are here to help you with all things relationships. And on today's episode, we're doing an Am I the asshole? And seconds before rolling, Kendall spilled soda all over herself. Literally. I can't impress it enough. Impress it.

[A]

Impress enough.

[B]

Impress enough. That's not what I'm trying to say, John. What word am I trying to say? Oh, we're off, friends. We're off to a bad start. Let's just go home. We're off to about the studio. I'm trying to impress upon you. Enough. Okay, Maybe I was right from the beginning. Literally, we were like, okay. And let's start rolling. And Kendall literally just pours Pepsi Zero down the front of herself. Her brand new Aritzia hoodie. Why are you drinking again? Like you're showing off. What?

[A]

I'm gonna spill it on myself and then just be like, oh, I'll throw this soda in the trash.

[B]

I don't know. I don't know what's going on anymore.

[A]

This is my new hoodie. I love this hoodie. This is one of those hoodies that guys. It's ridiculous because it's like a hundred dollar hoodie, but it literally is just gray and there's no reason for it to be expensive in that way. And I got it at Aritzia, but I. I went and I tried it on years ago and was like, God, I love this. But that's ridiculous. You can find something like this at a thrift store. You don't need to get this at. This is so stupid. And then I went right before our wedding and I was like, you know what? I'm still thinking about it. And I bought it and I am so happy I did. And Jordan will put it on and we're both just. I feel like you didn't want to admit how good it was.

[B]

Well, it's really Good. My thing is just, I would never spend that kind of money on a sweatshirt. But what I've had to come to terms with, and you know, you've brought this up many times, and ultimately, I think you're right, is that I am more into fashion than you are.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I thrift a lot. I search for secondhand things.

[A]

You know, brands.

[B]

I know brands and designers. And not that I'm, like, obsessed with that, but I would say fashion is more of an interest of mine and design is more of an interest of mine than it is of yours. Because of that, the way I shop is very different than the way that you shop.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And granted, I think the way that I shop is obviously preferable. That's why I do it. But I. I'm like, if you're going to buy, like, three things a year and you want one of them to be a $150 gray hoodie, I couldn't understand it less. But, like, that's your business.

[A]

But what do I wear so much gray hoodie. And I think sometimes it's like, I. I think sometimes people will be like, I can spend a bunch of money on this thing I wear once, but they're really hesitant to buy. Buy an expensive thing they wear all the time.

[B]

I agree. And I've tried to take a note from your book of being like, okay, how do I not. How do I. I guess I need to get rid of things in my closet that I really like, but I'm not wearing. I think you can have a very small special occasion section where it's like, yeah, obviously I have some, like, gowns and stuff that I have to wear to, like, premieres or work events. Things that you're not doing in normal life, but you do need that kind of stuff for occasionally. But I like. At my ripe age of 32, I'm coming to terms with the fact that I do not want to wear a structured pant ever. Even a jean.

[A]

Oh, wow. You're not gonna wear a jean ever again.

[B]

It's too much for me. I'll wear a jean, but I want to wear, like, an elastic waistband barrel jean with, you know, whatever. Like, it's like, I don't want to wear a pant with a button. It's not comfortable. Wow. And the way that my body is. First of all, my weight fluctu a lot because of my. I have a thyroid autoimmune disease, if you didn't know. Hashimoto girlies rise up.

[A]

I.

[B]

My weight fluctuates, and then also I Don't like how, like, jeans and stuff, it's like they're either fitting you when you're standing up or they're fitting you when you're sitting down. Well, and I don't like that.

[A]

No, it is really hard. And as. As someone whose weight fluctuates as well, I also struggle where it's like, I. And you know, I've had such problem with this. I buy a new pair of jeans.

[B]

And then I'm sick of this.

[A]

And then the next week, I'm like, I can't wear these jeans anymore.

[B]

I'm sick of this. This is one of my biggest pet peeves that Kendall does. It's just like, Kendall will buy something, and then five seconds later, she's like, these don't fit me anymore. Actually never liked these. And I'm like, what? What do you never like? Well, you just bought them.

[A]

Yeah, I know. But no. So now I've started buying them. Like, I'll buy some that are a little tight, some that are a little too big, so that I have, like, three for kind of like, every way my body could be. And I feel like I've got it now.

[B]

I think that's smart. I think that's good.

[A]

But I feel like I have them. I feel like I've got all the jeans. Or I'm like, okay, these are the jeans. I this week, and these are the jeans. Anyways, today's a huge day.

[B]

It's a huge day.

[A]

And you know why?

[B]

Oh, of course.

[A]

Dearest gentle reader, Bridgerton Season 4 airs today. This is not an ad.

[B]

Not. Yeah, I was gonna say.

[A]

Wait.

[B]

Stop doing that. Stop doing that. We need to pay them. They need to pay us to do that.

[A]

If you know me, you know that I'm a Bridgerton super fan.

[B]

She loves it.

[A]

Read all the books. Obsessed, obsessed, obsessed. I see it does no wrong. Every year when Bridgerton the season comes out, of course, there's so much hate because people are unhappy with how they did it. They're unhappy with who was cast, they're unhappy with blah, blah, blah, Never could be me. Bridgerton is only good vibes for me. I think it's incredible this whole month.

[B]

Thank you. May I have another?

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

May I, please, Please.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

That's what Kendall says as a little child peasant. Yes.

[A]

That is how I feel. I am like, they can do no wrong because it's just fun. For this whole month, I identify as a straight woman. That's how I feel.

[B]

You have to this season.

[A]

So I've heard. So I've heard. I see that little trust when people are like, there's going to be gay characters. I have so little trust.

[B]

So embarrassing. Except if I can move on to our next topic.

[A]

What?

[B]

Rivalry.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

You guys know we were hesitant to watch because we were like, what don't gay men have?

[A]

They have too much.

[B]

What can lesbians have? One thing.

[A]

But ultimately we get shows, people. I was going to lose it. People online being like, if you like heated rivalry but are a lesbian, watch this. And it would be something where the two main characters don't even kiss. I'm like, that's actually not. I'm so sick of people telling me, oh, you have to watch this. It's super gay. And then it's two women that are friends. And then at the end of it, I'm like, where was the gayness? And people like, well, it's gay undertones. I don't want any more gay undertones. Gay undertone is called. You know what gay undertones is?

[B]

Being alive is.

[A]

Sorry. Is being alive. I'm like, gay undertones is what people did when we weren't allowed to be gay. And they made movies like Fried Green Tomatoes where they are gay, but then.

[B]

Had nobody even realizes.

[A]

Just pretend they're friends even though they have a baby together. Like that. I don't. That's actually triggering to me.

[B]

It's crazy.

[A]

I need two women eating each other out.

[B]

Heated rivalry, literally. So we finally started heated Reverie. Because I'm so. We were like, okay, what? We're gonna watch this gay man show. Okay, whatever. We knew we were going to, but we weren't, like, as obsessed with watching it as immediately as else. But we were like, okay, we're going to watch it. Also, the more I saw of it, I'm like, these two men are charming. I am charmed by them. Okay, great. Then we started watching. I think it's beautifully done because they're sucking dick in the first 30 seconds of the show. Like, immediately it starts. And I'm like, yeah, that's what it means. Lesbians. And you and I disagree on this, but lesbians are obsessed with yearning.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Not me, honey.

[A]

I mean, that's ridiculous.

[B]

Not me, honey. I'm bored.

[A]

I don't think. Here's what I'll say.

[B]

Talk about yearning. Fried green tomato vibes. Hey, you know when we.

[A]

But imagine if they had to in.

[B]

The last scene, you know, when we had to yearn.

[A]

What?

[B]

Back in the day. We don't have to yearn anymore.

[A]

No, because. Okay, this is What? I. I think there's a difference between fucking and making love. You wouldn't know.

[B]

Oh, thanks, Kendall. What a hot take that no one's ever had.

[A]

I. And so, to me, all we've seen is the first episode of Heated Rivalry, and we'll tell you why in a moment. But the. They immediately start having sex, and I don't feel anything because I'm just like. This is just two people.

[B]

You don't feel anything?

[A]

I feel something, but I don't.

[B]

I don't feel anything.

[A]

I feel something, but I don't know.

[B]

Why do we watch and have to have sex right after?

[A]

Sorry. Well, this is the problem. This is why we can't watch the show. We've seen one episode, and. And we loved it. We really liked it.

[B]

We loved it. I think those guys are so charming. I'm interested in the plot. The chemistry is great. I'm interested in the plot. But we watch it and then immediately have to go to Pound town. And then. So now.

[A]

Now it's like, we can't watch it unless we have, like, time to, like, you know, So I want to throw.

[B]

I'm just embarrassed. All right, let's move on to the actual topic today, which is am I the asshole?

[A]

Yes. We asked. Thank you for finally asking. You are just kidding.

[B]

We asked on Patreon what y' all want to hear more of, and everyone wanted another Am I the asshole? Episode. You guys love these. So normally we'll read Am I the Assholes that we found online? Or things like that. This time, we asked you both on Patreon and on Instagram. Who wants to tell us a story? Who? Sorry, that's a big podcast owl impression. I'm trying something out. Who wants. Okay, you get one. You got one more. Get it out of your system. Who wants to tell us their Am I the asshole? Situations we will solidify once and for all. Are you the asshole? Are other people the asshole? We got a couple today, but I thought it would be fun, which we've never done before, to start out with our own. Am I the asshole? And I'm ready to go first.

[A]

Okay, go, go.

[B]

Am I the asshole? Oh, God. Because I honk at people who don't use their turn signal.

[A]

No. You know you're not the asshole.

[B]

No, but do a better one, John. Kill her. I would. I don't. I don't think I am, obviously, but I think that I'm talking, like, when someone is 30ft ahead of me, I'm in no danger whatsoever.

[A]

Yes, I do.

[B]

They don't use.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Their turn signal for me.

[A]

Here's why. I think you are not an. But I think you're a danger to the world.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Because I don't think that person 30ft away from you knows you're honking at them. First of all, I also think, and I feel like this is not talked about enough, that honking is so dangerous. Honking is like, no, don't roll your eyes at me.

[B]

It's just because you have adhd. So if someone honks at you, you're like, no. What is that?

[A]

It scares me.

[B]

Where was I last week? I should stop by a store. It's like it sets off some kind of brain.

[A]

Why not this?

[B]

What?

[A]

When you call your wife an idiot, you said that.

[B]

I didn't say that.

[A]

Wait, I have to burp.

[B]

Oh, my God. I'm so embarrassed. Blake, cut that out. Oh, my God.

[A]

Ew.

[B]

What a weird. I've literally never heard you burp like that. It was so interesting. I'm like, should we leave it in?

[A]

I become famous.

[B]

Do you want to leave it in or take it out?

[A]

It's fine.

[B]

Okay. Okay. Blake, leave it in. Honey.

[A]

No. Okay. I feel like honking is dangerous. And I think sometimes when. When I hear a honk. What? Because the only time I honk is if someone is about to crash into me. That's when I'm like, bb, please, I'm here.

[B]

Hello. And I think sometimes people honk.

[A]

When people honk, I go, who am.

[B]

I about to hit?

[A]

And then sometimes it's just someone 30ft behind me, and it's my wife letting me know I'm not using my turn signal.

[B]

Beep, beep.

[A]

It's crazy to not use your turn signal. It feels so.

[B]

And that's my point.

[A]

Like, and instinctual.

[B]

If you aren't using your turn signal, especially in Los Angeles, California, and I've probably told you guys this before, but when I was learning to drive in south Florida, they tell you don't use your turn signal because when you turn your turn signal on, people speed up so you can't get over. And that is true. So I will give some grace to people in, I guess, south Florida. Only South Florida. Other than that, I'm like, why are you not using your turn signal? It's so easy to use. It lets people know what you're doing, and I'm sick of it. It feels like. You know, I love common courtesy in general, and it feels like the car version of common courtesy. Yeah. It feels like you're not using it. And I think you should know that people around you are clocking.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That you're being dangerous. You're not being courteous, you're not being thoughtful.

[A]

Right. I'm with you.

[B]

All right. You can let me know in the. The comments if I'm the for this. If you think I'm an for another reason. I'm not asking about that, so keep that to yourself. Wow. Kendall, your turn.

[A]

Okay, let me think of a good one. Can I have one moment?

[B]

You had the whole car.

[A]

I was distracted by the driver.

[B]

You were the driver.

[A]

Oh, I mean the passenger.

[B]

For the first time ever, you were the driver. Oh, my God. Do you want to come back? You want to do some other ones and we'll come back to you because you didn't do your job for the podcast.

[A]

No, I can do it.

[B]

No, let's. You don't have one and it's not going to be good. So let's just. Because you didn't think about it.

[A]

I forgot, but I didn't think about it. I'm going to try new things. Let's do some other ones.

[B]

We'll come back to me, and then we'll come back to you. I don't know how you're going to split focus like that, but we will.

[A]

The whole time that this is going to be my face while you're reading the other. Am I the animals trying to think? Okay, go ahead.

[B]

All right. This person wants to know if they're the asshole for hating their friend's girlfriend with a burning passion. My friend has been dating their girlfriend for several years now. Longer than I have known slash been friends with that friend. I never got along with their girlfriend, but I just assumed we were compatible as friends and so it would be fine. However, in the last year, my feelings have escalated. I feel like my friend's girlfriend is one of the most inconsiderate people I know. She disregards my friend's feelings, my feelings, and our mutual friends feelings consistently. I honestly don't know if she is just dumb or she is actually evil.

[A]

Oh, that's a hard one.

[B]

I know. She has also cheated on my friend and has had allegations of cheating recently from a person in their life. But she denies this instance. I personally don't believe her. I want to see my friend and be there for her, but being around her girlfriend is draining and I actively dislike her company. That being said, my friend almost never does things without her girlfriend. Any advice on how to make them break up?

[A]

Oh, not even my hatred and asshole? Not even asking about the Asshole. Just. How do I make this. Because that's so hard. Yeah, I think this is. I mean, I got. I think that's sort of mean. It does sound like they're an all around bad person.

[B]

Maybe, I don't know, they cheated, but. I don't know. But they cheated, you know, Listen, this is what I'll say. Cheating's bad. I. We talked about this before. I've done it and I love it and it's bad, but it feels good. No, I think that we both agree on this. Cheating is not like, sometimes people will act like cheating is like stabbing your wife.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And it's not the same thing. Cheating's not good. You shouldn't cheat. But it's like, not.

[A]

No, I know. I said. I was like, I don't really care when, like, I hesitate to say this because I'm not talking about anyone specific, but, like, when you find out a politician cheats.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm like, that wouldn't make me not vote for you.

[B]

You're like, whatever.

[A]

Well, I'm like, what, you're not going to cheat on me? You're not going to cheat on the government? I don't.

[B]

I don't.

[A]

Yeah, I'm just going to like, that's none of my business. Versus if someone's like, oh, the person you're voting for stabbed someone, I'd be like, well, that.

[B]

That's too far.

[A]

No, that's way too far.

[B]

No, I agree with you. I think you're 100% right.

[A]

So don't make me talk about Tiger woods again.

[B]

Sorry, I won't. Don't make me talk about Tiger Woods. I don't know what this person's deal. So we have to keep in mind always with these situations that we're just hearing one side of the story.

[A]

But that side is a listener of our podcast.

[B]

But that side is a listener of our podcast.

[A]

And that does mean something.

[B]

Already gives them a leg up.

[A]

That's worth its weight in gold.

[B]

It means they're already a pretty good person. Oh, God, that laugh. I love that laugh. You guys all know the Maria Menudo's Justin Bieber clip. If you don't look it up, it.

[A]

Oh, it's funny.

[B]

The most special thing to Kendall and I, anyway, we only know this person's side of the story. That being said. Yeah, this person seems awful. I have unfortunate news for you. You have to stop being friends with your friend.

[A]

Yeah, they're not gonna break up. I mean, that is, especially if they've.

[B]

Been together longer than you guys. Have been friends.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Come on.

[A]

No, it's not gonna happen. I. And that is. That is a. It's a thing that happens. I mean, we have friends where it's like, all of a sudden, they get a new partner, and you're just like. Sometimes it's not even that they're bad. You're just like, I don't. Like, I don't want to hang out with this person and at all. And so now I think, especially as you get older, most of the time when you're hanging out with your friends, it is with their partner.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So. Which I don't think is bad. I think that's just, like, part of getting older.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So there are some people now that we see less because I'm not thinking of anyone specific, but in our six years together, there's been people we've seen less because we're like, your partner's not my cup of tea.

[B]

But it's few and far between. I. Yeah. I'm sorry. I don't have an example right now. I feel like everyone that gets a partner, for example, and I'll use them because I know one of them is a podcast listener. Our friends Abby and Lane. I've been friends with Abby for forever. She's my boss at the Magnet Theater, and I was an intern. We became friends, and then she started dating Lane over the last couple years, and Lane rocks.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Lane makes me like Abby even more.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Which I didn't know was possible, so.

[A]

Well, there are times when. And I don't know if this is the case, but where you end up hanging out more with someone because you're, like, the. The person you're dating now is so awesome that all of us together get to hang out, and that's awesome. Yeah.

[B]

Well, Abby likes you, and. And Lane also like each other.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So it's a huge win. All this to say we're very lucky, and I don't think we experience that very much. I do think a partner is a huge reflection of you, and I think a lot of our friends rock, so I think a lot of their partners rock. But not always.

[A]

No, But I think that is part of it, too, is, like, if you want to date this person, it makes me start to like you less. I think I've also had that when people go through breakups where you're like, I know that I'm not a part of this breakup, but I. Watching you go through this breakup is making me like you less because you're. It's showing a side of you. That I'm not loving.

[B]

Yikes.

[A]

You know what I mean?

[B]

Yeah, I know exactly the situation you're referring to very specifically. And you're 100, right. The way people behave in relationship to their partners, I do think is. Is a huge sign and tell of. Of their character. All that to say. And I've said this before, you get one shot. First of all, I think you're totally within your right to be. Like, hey, let's do a girl's night, whatever. Call it a girl's night. That feels very approachable for some reason. Let's do a girl's night, just you and me. You and me and Sandra. Whatever. Like, and explicitly don't invite their partner. Yeah, like, let's do a girl's name, no partners, dtd, whatever. I think you can totally do that. If they're like, no, I have to invite so and so. Yeah, that's weird. And then I think you have the right to talk to them. Like, hey, I'd love to do some things, like just you and me sometimes. Because, you know, the more people added, the dynamic gets different and I miss, you know, just you and I. You know, even if it's rare, even if it's once every two months, you and I just get together alone. I would love to do that. You're totally within your right to bring that up. Especially since you've. You're a newer friend than the partner is new. Yeah, you're not gonna win that battle. Even if they're bad and you're good, you're just simply not gonna win that battle. It is the way that it is and you might not inherently be right. I think that's also something you have to keep in mind. So if you really don't like that partner, unfortunately, you have to stop hanging out with your friend.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I think if their partner is really genuinely hurtful to you, you can bring it up one time. And if it doesn't get changed or fixed, I think you just have to stop being friends with them, which I know feels like a bummer, but that's life. And you'll make more friends.

[A]

You will. You will. I have mine.

[B]

Let me hear it.

[A]

My. Am I the asshole?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

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[A]

Whenever people on a competition show talk about something horrible that's happened to them, I think that shouldn't be allowed. And it makes me really upset and I immediately don't like them.

[B]

You say boo.

[A]

I think for some reason it's something deep within me. And I've always felt this way. Like on American Idol when someone's like, it could be so bad too. They look well, my whole house burned down and my whole family died in it. And I'm like, oh yeah, okay. So that has nothing relevant to Your singing.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

So now you've gotten through on pretenses of nothing to do with the competition. And I don't like. And it, like, really irritates me for some reason, and it makes me, like the person less. And I have, like, zero sympathy for some reason. And I feel like I'm a really sympathetic person, but for some reason, I'm like, it's not the time. It's not the place.

[B]

Yeah. Is it because a lot of stuff bad happened to you in your life and you're still not good at singing. No.

[A]

You know what I think it is is that. I guess on that note, I guess I feel like everyone goes through bad stuff.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

So sometimes it feels like the people who are like any person could come up with a sob story.

[B]

Of course. Obviously. That's my favorite thing, though, when you have a show like the Voice or whatever, and they're trying to come up with this obvious story, and they're like, When I was 8, I was in a car accident and one of my front teeth got knocked out.

[A]

I didn't think I could sing every day.

[B]

Dentist said, we can't put the real tooth back in, so we're going to have to do a veneer. Yeah.

[A]

And.

[B]

My life changed forever in that instant.

[A]

And you're like, what? Yeah.

[B]

And I'm sure there's someone so funny.

[A]

But I'm sure there's someone who came on the Voice and was just like, I'm not gonna tell anyone about my traumatizing childhood because why would I bring that up? And then they get. They. The chairs turn based on merit, based on good singing.

[B]

So you think there should be a singing competition show. No. No backstory. You don't want to know if someone's an elementary school teacher?

[A]

No, I don't. No, no, no, no. You can tell me your occupation. I want occupation, but occupation starts to.

[B]

Creep real close to sob story.

[A]

Yeah. I say, okay, if you're in the peace Corps, you can't say it.

[B]

Sure. Or you're like, I'm an elementary school teacher. I teach at a public school.

[A]

No, no, no. Yeah. That is not.

[B]

So far.

[A]

You can't say, I'm an elementary school teacher.

[B]

Period.

[A]

Period.

[B]

Got it.

[A]

I just don't think I. Because I just don't care. Because I'm like, why are you telling me this? Why are you telling me this? Well, and I'm sure they're forced to tell it because.

[B]

Yeah. You know, gunpoint being like, say, the saddest thing that's ever happened to you.

[A]

But I'm like, what is really the point if the point of this show is like, oh, I'm a good singer. Why are you telling me about the hurricane that hit your house? I. I really don't get it. Yeah, tell me after. Yeah, tell me after to Live Stream. I. I really don't care.

[B]

You want me to stop talking about Hurricane Katrina? That's what you're saying?

[A]

If you're up for.

[B]

So, Kendall, if you're up for a competition.

[A]

Yeah, I don't think that's appropriate. It just puts a bad taste in my mouth, and I. Maybe I'm especially sensitive to it right now because Jordan is on a say yes to the Dress kick. I hate to say yes to the dress.

[C]

I.

[A]

Well, okay. I've watched every episode of say yes to the Dress. I hesitate to say I hate it. I've gone in person to Kleinfeld's. I've met the cast. I love them. So I don't want to say I hate. I love.

[B]

Well, you love this.

[A]

I love the community.

[B]

But you take. You take issue with.

[A]

I don't enjoy watching it all the time because I find the dynamics between the families deeply upsetting almost every single time. I mean, of course, because it's reality show. It's very rare that someone's just like, you look beautiful. It's always a mom being like, well, I never got to have the wedding I wanted, and so I need her to wear this, but she can't because.

[B]

My daughter's so ugly.

[A]

And I like it. Makes me want to throw up.

[B]

Well, and, you know, the producers are making them do it. I remember the first time I ever had that realization was I heard someone talk about being on House Hunters.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

And they were like, yeah, you got House Hunters. And they're like, so, what do you want in a house? And this is all allegedly House Hunters. Don't sue me. I watch you every day, and if you me, I'll literally be so mad. They'll be like, oh, what's something that you want in a house? And you'll be like, oh, I don't particularly like vertical blinds. I really want horizontal blinds. And they're like, great, that's your thing. So then every house you go into, they're like, talk about the blinds. Make a big deal about the blinds. So then you're like, okay, they're looking at, like, a $1.4 million house that's, like, absolutely beautiful. And it costs not that much money to redo blinds. And they'll be like, yeah, I'm not looking at this house any further because it has a vertical blinds or whatever. And it's like the producers, like, making them do that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Now, that being said, I think it also attracts a kind of cuckoo person.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I think at the same time, then there are people who are like, my thing. Well, I remember my favorite episode of House Hunters is I honestly might even be able to find a recording of a clip that I took. But it's a woman whose thing is that she will only live in new build construction, built after, like, 1990 or something, because anything older than that she's convinced is haunted. I really do think I have a clip from this. I just need to scroll back a little ways.

[A]

Oh, take your time.

[B]

Yeah. She, like, will not move into anything. So they're looking at these, like, beautiful homes that have every single thing her and her husband want, like, to a t. Could not have a more perfect situation. And she is like, yeah, but ghosts. Let's talk about ghosts. This house was built in 1980. 1980. Someone's certainly died in this home, which is also interesting because anyone can die in any home at any time.

[C]

Right.

[B]

I also don't think historically, depending on, like, you know, what you're looking into, but I think kind of famously, ghosts aren't necessarily just stuck to the house they died in.

[A]

Oh. I mean, I guess that that's more of an opinion.

[B]

I think it's circumstantial. But I also think a ghost could, like, come into a house. You could also bring a ghost into a house. Hello. The conjuring. Hello. Wake up.

[A]

I think I'm especially sensitive to the sob stories right now because we're watching so much. Say yes to the dress. And I say yes to the dress Will do episodes where they're like, everyone on this episode had cancer.

[B]

They're themed. They're themed.

[A]

Everyone on this episode had gastric bypass.

[B]

Is Everyone is a veteran.

[A]

Is gay. Is whatever. And so sometimes. But it's always. It feels like it's a lot of medical stuff.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Which already just makes me so sad. But it also feels. But sometimes I'm just like, God, I don't want to hear about this.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I actually. Show me. Show me you in a dress.

[B]

Because I'm like, what?

[A]

Is even the like, what? And maybe I'm just sensitive because I feel like I'm. I'm not a person who talks about my feelings a ton.

[B]

You're not.

[A]

And so when I'm going through something, I keep it very deep inside. I'm a person who Like, I would go through something, and I would just show up the next day to school and no one would know about it. That is how I roll now. It's not ideal, and I'm not saying I'm doing it right, but I think I always had this little bit of resentment for people who were just, you know. Because you'd go through something, you'd come to school the next day. I'll chipper. And then this girl would come up to you, be like, sobbing. She'd be like, well, my grandma St. Pomeranian broke her paw. And everyone's, like, gathered around her, and you're like, well, my dad had a heart attack last night.

[B]

I know. So Kendall's resentful because so much bad stuff.

[A]

No, it's not so much bad stuff. It really didn't.

[B]

But you gotta meet people where they're at sometimes. The only bad thing that's ever happened to you is your grandma's Pomeranian breaking its paw.

[A]

And that's hard. I just feel like we're both going through something hard. But you're getting all this attention.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Because you, like, are comfortable with it, which is great. But also, sometimes people like that. They, like, play it up anyways. You know what I'm talking about? My life was fine. I just mean, like, I am not someone who finds comfort in telling people about it. You know what I mean? I find comfort in, like, processing it in my own head.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Did you find the clip?

[B]

Okay, let me look it up. Ghost woman, House hunters. Let's see. I'm looking for my lady that's obsessed with the actual.

[A]

I just liked your impression of it. So you could just do that again if you can't find it.

[B]

All right. Man, I wish you guys could watch it off. Wait, maybe this is it. Hold on.

[C]

Recently engaged couple Carrie and Jeremiah are.

[A]

On the hunt for their first home in Westboro, Massachusetts. I absolutely love the purple shutters. She wants a home with character. He, on the other hand, is fixated on something else. My number one deal breaker is I do not want ghosts.

[B]

Okay? That's what I was talking about. But I'm glad we watched that because that the craziest Boston accent I've ever heard in my life. All right. Okay. We've all grown. Hunters. Don't to me a little bit of that clip. Okay? Are we ready for our next. Am I the asshole?

[A]

Do you think I'm the asshole for not liking the sob stories?

[B]

Yes, but I think it's okay.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I mean, that's, like, asshole behavior. And I think if you were doing something about it. It would be bad.

[A]

Like calling in.

[B]

Yeah. To the V. Posting about it or whatever.

[A]

No, I would never. I think. I just feel. I don't.

[B]

Privately having that opinion is fine.

[A]

I don't like people cheating. I don't like cheating. I. You know, it's weird. I'm not really competitive, and I. But cheating I find to be.

[B]

You're not competitive, but you're moral.

[A]

Well, I don't. I am because I don't care if I lose and I don't care if I lose to you cheating, but I care that you cheated because how embarrassing. You are a grown adult, and I think part of me, when people tell these subs for. I'm seeing competitions, I want to grab them by the shoulders and go, what do you want from me? What do you actually want from me? This is manipulation. This is. This is classic manipulation tactic.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

So I'm not into it. But in real life, if someone tells me a sob story, I'm very empathetic. I feel. Oh, my gosh. But if they then followed it by saying, and now I'll be auditioning for you for a movie you're casting.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I was a casting director right after they go.

[B]

And I. I would say you say.

[A]

You tried to pull the wool over my eyes. All right, let's move on.

[B]

This person wants to know if they're the asshole because they had a girlfriend and they did not tell their girlfriend about their past with a friend who they had been love. In love with since high school. And the context to know is that girlfriend is now an ex girlfriend, and they're now dating that friend. Wait. You are an asshole.

[A]

Wait. Okay, well, calm down. No, I don't think you are. I think, first of all, how I. This is my. My confusion.

[B]

Let me hear it.

[A]

How long had that person been dating the person who. Who. You know what I'm talking.

[B]

Thank you for asking. I have no answers whatsoever. They gave me. They couldn't have given me less information. What. What they gave me is what I gave you.

[A]

To me, it's hard where if you're. I think it's just hard because I think if you're still friends with someone who you used to be in love with, but you are friends with them and it's been a long time, and you're like, well, I really. You know, we have a friendship. Do you want to tell your partner we had this past? And then. Especially if it's a new thing and then make them feel weird, and then maybe they get really jealous. And then you're, you know, like, okay, this. This friendship with this person is going to end because my girlfriend's not going to be comfortable with it. I think that's tough.

[B]

I don't think you should be dating if you're in love with someone else.

[A]

Well, they said they were in love. They were in love with the friend.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's continued through the dating, but now they're dating again. I understand.

[B]

Yeah. So they were in love with their friend. Don't date someone else. I think that's a hole behavior.

[A]

I guess you're right. I guess you're right.

[B]

All right.

[A]

All right.

[B]

I guess I don't think you're a bad person.

[A]

I think, no, they're being an ass.

[B]

On something like this, but I do think in that situation, you are the asshole.

[A]

And that's. There, like, there's, like, people. Well, I tell you, every person I've dated, like, I'm. We're very open about that. Like, we talk about people we've dated, we talk about breakups, talk about store. Like, we. We're totally open with that. But there's people that, like, will comment on my Instagram who I've dated or I dated for a while. And I could see being like, I do tell you because I just am an open book. But I could see myself not telling you just to be like, I don't want to stress Jordan out. It's, like, not important because I don't care about that person. But now I guess if I was in love with that person, it'd be different. Sorry they're an asshole. Yeah.

[B]

I know you really want for them to not be, but they are.

[A]

I. Yeah, I know. Just love them.

[B]

I feel for you. This person wants to know. They say, am I the asshole for. Instead of breaking up with my partner, I found a way to leave the country so we would stop seeing each other.

[A]

Literally. What do you mean? Also, are you leaving the country but staying together and now you're just, like, hoping long distance is going to be hard enough that you break up, or are you, like, leaving the country, like, they don't know where you are now and you're just hiding?

[B]

I don't know. But I have to say, I kind of did something like this when reverse, but I was dating a French foreign exchange student when I was in college, and they were like, I'm going back to France for two months. Are we gonna keep talking? And I was like, yeah, of course.

[C]

Every day.

[B]

Why would we stop talking? And then, like, the day they Got home, they, like, messaged me on Facebook, and I did not respond.

[A]

Jordan, how long were you dating?

[B]

Not that long. And we weren't official. We weren't like, actually, you know, whatever.

[A]

You ghosted.

[B]

We had been. I didn't ghost. I eventually went back and said, hey, sorry, I've been really busy. But it just, like, it wasn't there. And I think I thought, like, the sexual chemistry wasn't there. The comedic chemistry wasn't there. And at first, with some of the stuff, you're like, oh, it's probably a language barrier, right? I'm saying these absolutely fire jokes, and they're not getting the response they deserve. This person's making jokes. I'm not really into it.

[A]

It's a language barrier. But then you walked in on him watching an Ellen DeGeneres special cackling.

[B]

Yeah, exactly. And I said, so he does find lesbians funny, but. So the sexual chemistry was not there. And not just because I'm actually gay. The sexual chemistry not there with this man, which, like, I know what you're saying. I know you're saying it's because you're gay, but also, like, I've seen porn where people have good chemistry. Men and women have good chemistry. And I.

[A]

And to that, you might say, well, maybe those people weren't gay. Everyone's like, no one said you hadn't seen porn.

[B]

Well, I watch porn all the time. I watch tons of porn. But. And you know this, there are. I have in my life, had sex with men where I was like, like, oh, I'm gay. But, like, this wasn't horrible.

[A]

And they said, thank you for saying.

[B]

They said, thank you for saying that. But you know what I mean. Like, I'm like, I. You can have. Even with someone you're not being sexual with, you could have chemistry.

[A]

No, I've had, like, sexual chemistry with the man.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Or you have, like, call me bisexual. See what happens?

[B]

I wanted to do a whole. I want to do a whole episode about this, and Kendall said, we've talked about it too much, but honestly, I might still make her do it because people are talking about it right now. Because anytime you say anything as a lesbian. Okay, but we've just. You can talk right now.

[A]

You can say, I just think we say the camera episode, because we've, like, literally talked about.

[B]

You want to rant about it.

[A]

But clip. Sure. But we'll just clip this for you.

[B]

Don't. Because then I'll get canceled. But anytime, like, if I'm like, okay, Pedro Pascal, Hottie, Patati, all the comments will be like, just so you know, bisexuality exists. Hey, time to wake up and accept that you're a bisexual. Hey, hey, just so you know, bisexual would look really good. Shut up.

[A]

Shut up.

[B]

What are you talking about? Why is a gay man allowed to be like, I wish I could sit on Cher's face and like, no one ever doubts that he's gay. But if a woman or, like, fem presenting person is like, okay, Idris Elba, swing by. Ha ha.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

All of a sudden you're in jail. You're put in jail.

[A]

I know.

[B]

So confusing to me. We are gonna do a whole episode about it. I think I really wanna pop off about it.

[A]

Did you tell me you do a.

[B]

Solo in the comments? I'll do a solo episode. I'll call Idris Elba and we'll do a solo episode. Wait, have you told people about what.

[A]

Your experience with Idris?

[B]

I got flown to New York to go to the premiere of Hijack, which is Idris Elba's show, because I'm such a big fan.

[A]

And we danced next to him.

[B]

We danced right next to him, and it was incredible. I actually made a whole YouTube video about it. So you can go watch it if you, too, are an Idris Elba lover. But drop in the comments if you want to hear me absolutely pop off about this topic. And Kendall as well, she's just scared, but there's no reason.

[A]

I'm not scared. I'm just like, you want to know the truth?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm just, like, over it.

[B]

You don't want to have to engage in discord.

[A]

No, I'm just like, wait. Like, I'd rather talk about something else.

[B]

But can I have a pitch, though?

[A]

What?

[B]

What if we brought Jason on to talk about it?

[A]

Yeah, that's great, because I just want to hang out with this. Yeah.

[B]

Because Jason just did a tick tock about it that I loved. And so what if we bring Jason on?

[A]

Okay, bring Jason on and I'll do it.

[B]

Okay. Expect an email.

[A]

We had to send her a video.

[B]

This is how we asked. Expect an email. Yeah, we just clip this and put this on. Tick tock and talker.

[A]

No, we can do that. That's fine because I want to hang out with Jason, but we have to get lunch after. Anywho, I'm just, like, over talking about stuff. I just am like, you know what I mean? That's how I feel. I'm just like, yeah, everybody's being stupid. And I think I also, like, don't want to Give in. I'm like. Also, sometimes I feel like it can feel like everybody's saying this, everybody's saying this, but it's just these, like, people on the Internet. And sometimes I'm trying to separate myself from the Internet and be, like, in real life. Actually, no one's saying.

[B]

Saying this. Yeah.

[A]

Like, I've actually. I know a million bisexual people, men and women in real life, and everyone's normal and chill.

[B]

I feel like literally every bisexual person I know is so normal.

[A]

Yeah. And very.

[B]

And the Internet, it's just these.

[A]

It just makes you feel so. I honestly feel like I don't even want to give in to this. Like, I don't know. Just these people, they're just, like, not.

[B]

Even real, but unfortunately, you have a podcast.

[A]

No, I.

[B]

And that podcast needs to have episodes.

[A]

Yeah, but there's other things to talk.

[B]

About into clips that we can put on social media.

[A]

All right.

[B]

And that's how we make money.

[A]

No, I understand how it works. I just don't. I feel like there's other things to talk about, but I'm like, let's have fun.

[B]

Name three of the things you want to talk about instead.

[A]

I. He did Rivalry.

[B]

You sound like you were say isis.

[A]

Oh, he said isis.

[B]

No, you did, but it's you. You almost talk about isis, but were you trying to say ice hockey?

[A]

No, I'm talking about ISIS anymore. Get back to it.

[B]

You said isis. I'm just saying I do. I think this person is an. Is an. For leaving the. Instead of breaking up with their partner. Yes, I do. And they're not bisexual. They're not bisexual. No. I think they are an asshole. But I. I can say when you have the option, it is tempting, because with me, this is what I was starting to say. It just wasn't like we were not compatible in any way, shape, or form. Once again, not even including the fact that I was a lesbian. Like, we weren't even compatible as friends. Not his fault. Not my fault. We just, like, weren't.

[A]

Why did you date in the first place?

[B]

He was extremely handsome.

[A]

French.

[B]

He was from France. Oh, my God. He was extremely handsome. I'm sure. Still is. And he was nice. But sometimes nice is not enough. Being nice is so important, and you should be nice, but being nice does not inherently a relationship or friendship make.

[A]

Well, I feel like it's, as the kids say, a canon event where everyone, once in their life will date someone so nice because you usually just come out of a relationship with someone so mean.

[B]

Yeah. And this is what I'LL say, I don't think he was so nice, but I think he was. I think he was very nice, if that makes sense.

[A]

He was just French. You wanted to date a French person. Call me by your name. Had just come out. You want to date someone French?

[B]

No, but it's.

[A]

Wait, are they French?

[B]

No, no, they're in Italy. But that's okay. It. It's close enough for you. You got the same continent.

[A]

And thank God. No, because I always. I'm always like, God, I could be. I could. I would date someone horrible if I ever moved to, like, London, because I get that. I get accent blindness if somebody says.

[B]

Oy, govna, and you say, oh.

[A]

I mean, remember that. I still think about her. Who? You know I'm talking about.

[B]

Oh, our waitress. You knew. You literally knew. If you are.

[A]

I fell in love.

[B]

Our waitress from dishoom. From, like, three years ago. Drop it in the comments.

[A]

Well, and of course we loved her. I would never. Jordan's the love of my life, so it was never about that. But I literally. I don't think about getting a third. It's also so funny because this woman.

[B]

Was not interested in being at all. She was a. She was a fan. She said, oh, my God.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Right.

[A]

I forgot about that.

[B]

She was like, I'm such a big fan. Oh, my God.

[A]

Now I feel like I actually have a chance. I didn't even realize, like, we left that lunch, and I literally think I said to you. I was like, would you ever want to have a third?

[B]

I think I was like, you mean that woman specifically? Sure. Go back in and ask her.

[A]

I was. But it was because she just had this accent that was so good. It's just so cool. But I just know accent. I get total accent blindness. So I understand.

[B]

I think most people do. And you know what shocked me the first time I went to France? They think allegedly, because I know some French person in the comments, because y' all can't help yourself, is gonna be like, we actually think American accents are disgusting. Da, da, da, da. Whatever. But when you go to France and you're like, cutie. And you're like, at a cafe, and someone cutie's waiting on you, and you're, like, trying to speak French, but you have an American accent, they find it very cute and charming, just like we do.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I.

[A]

Have you watched those videos where it's like, what Americans sound like to other people?

[B]

No, it's really interesting. What does it sound like?

[A]

It's like an American. It's, like, actually so crazy how people can do this, where it'll be like, this is what it sounds like to someone who isn't. Well, not even. I think what I'm thinking of is actually they. They're like, this is what an English speaker, an American English speaker sounds like to someone who. From a different country who doesn't speak English. Well, it's just like.

[B]

But I also think it has to be different, depending on each person. But what does it sound like?

[A]

I can't do it. It's hard. But they're basically like, they'll be saying words that are actual English words, but they put it in order. That doesn't make sense. And they just kind of have like a. Like a vocal fry. Lots of. I don't know how to do it.

[B]

That's so interesting, because not all America sounds like that. That's what Europe will never understand. Europeans will never understand how big America is. It's huge.

[A]

Which is funny because Europe's huge.

[B]

Not really. Okay.

[A]

I thought. I think it's big.

[B]

Well, it's not. Yeah, it's not.

[A]

Isn't it similar size to North America?

[B]

Well, but North America's a continent.

[C]

I know that.

[A]

I know that. But I'm saying America takes up a huge portion of North America.

[B]

Yes, but then. But so that's what I'm saying.

[A]

I've played Risk, honey, so.

[B]

No, I know. Hold on. I'm trying to type in a question about Europe. And Google is just being. I like, literally, it's just showing me the Israeli flag. I'm like, what? Why are you showing me this? I typed.

[D]

Really?

[A]

What?

[B]

I typed. Hold on. Let me see if I can get it back up because I already hit enter. Oh, God. I typed is Europe. And then in, like, what? The top search bar thing was an Israeli flag. That was like, Israel. And I was like, no, thank you. If Europe is real. Yeah, I wasn't Googling that. Thank you.

[A]

Something I've had to Google.

[B]

Anywho, Europe is a continent. North America is a continent.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

The United States is a country. It takes up such a large portion of North America. Think about the countries in Europe.

[A]

Yeah, that's true. No, I got you.

[B]

Italy is like. No, you've been to Italy. Think about how small Italy is compared to America.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Italy is the size of, like, a.

[A]

U.S. i didn't measure it while I was there, but I just winged. Don't wink at me if you're audio only. I just did a wink.

[B]

But what were you trying to say?

[A]

I have no idea. I don't Remember? I don't even remember what we're talking about. Oh, oh. Thinking our accents are cute. Sure. That's why I want to go to Australia, because Tony and Ryan told me that I would. My accent would be sexy there.

[B]

And. What do you need that for?

[A]

Attention.

[B]

Yeah. You do love attention.

[C]

I.

[A]

Well, I want to. I want people to think. I want people to go, who's that woman? Yeah, I would like to ask her out. And then someone have to go. She has a wife.

[B]

You know what makes me sad? What? I just know that Tony and Ryan don't talk about us on their podcast as much as we talk about them. I just know that's true. Do they ever. If you're a tarper, you know what's sadder? Can you tell us? Do they ever talk about us?

[A]

What's sadder is they. Tony and Ryan don't talk about us as much in their home.

[B]

No, I don't agree with that. They love us. We're all in love. They love us.

[A]

But we love.

[B]

No, they sent us. They sent us the nicest wedding gift that we had on our registry. That was for, like. We were like, hey, maybe like an old relative who doesn't want to talk to us but wants to send us a nice gift will send us this.

[A]

And Tony and Ryan's.

[B]

Tony and Ryan sent it.

[A]

But my point is, is that there's no way they could be talking about us as much because we literally. I feel like every two seconds, like, remember when Tony and. Right. We're like. They're. We're like. The power dynamic is we're obsessed with them.

[B]

Yeah. So if you're a tarper, let us know if they've literally ever talked about us on one single episode of their podcast in the history of the podcast. And then send it to us. And then. And then we're gonna put it. Send it to us, and we're gonna.

[A]

Watch it every night.

[B]

Watch it every single night. And if they're not talking about us, start leaving comments on their videos. Talk about, hey, I know you guys have been on the Happy Wife, Happy Life podcast twice. Why aren't you talking about them more?

[A]

Once.

[B]

Twice?

[A]

No, once. Remember?

[B]

Oh, because the second time they were supposed to. And then Tony fell down a flight of stairs and had to go home. Am I the asshole for laughing at Tony falling down that flight of stairs?

[A]

Well, it was just a horrible. It was a. You know what was horrible about it is. Cause Tony had messaged us that morning and was like, I'm really sick. I'm really sick.

[B]

She was like.

[A]

And I was like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry. Emergency clinic, because I think I'm so sick. Then we get a follow up dm. I've fallen down the stairs. My leg is broken. I won't be able to make it for sure.

[B]

Yeah. You know all about that. You know about the broken leg. It was a huge thing. Wow. Okay. Well, no, that brings us to the end of our episode.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Damn.

[B]

It's been about an hour.

[A]

I was yapping.

[B]

We were yapping.

[A]

We were staying.

[B]

We were in our flow state as the kids.

[A]

We were in our flow.

[B]

I actually think that's so funny.

[A]

There's like a couple things that I just, you know, every time, ever so often, a meme will happen and you go, is it still called a meme?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I go, oh, that's actually funny.

[B]

What do you mean? Say what you're saying and then I'll tell you if it's called a meme or not.

[A]

What is it like, what is it when people say, I ate down with that?

[B]

That's aav. Oh, God. And you should stop doing it.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

It's actually really offensive.

[A]

Okay. That's not a meme.

[B]

That's not a meme.

[A]

Okay, well, it's just.

[B]

That's just white Gen Z using aave. Aave.

[A]

All right, well, I won't say that anymore.

[B]

Thank you. Cancel. Oh, what, are you canceled?

[A]

We'll find out. You don't get to pick in advance if you get canceled.

[B]

Oh, right.

[A]

Thank you all so much for being here.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

We didn't even talk about your nasal surgery.

[B]

We'll talk about on the next episode. So stay tuned for next week. Let's hear about all the sad stuff that's going on with me. And I know you guys are just absolutely salivating to hear about it, but I've had so much fun during this episode. We're so glad you're here. We have episodes every Monday anywhere. You get your podcasts, YouTube and you can join our Patreon, where, depending on what tier you're in, you can get the podcast early. You can get the podcast ad free. We have bonus episodes. We have all kinds of stuff going on. We have some really exciting guests coming up in general. Super excited for that.

[A]

Me too.

[B]

And so far, 2026 is feeling good.

[A]

For the podcast, honey. It's feeling good all around in some ways.

[B]

Stay tuned for next week's episode to find out what that's about. Okay, love you.

[A]

Bye. Bye.

[D]

Marketing is hard, but I'LL tell you a little secret. It doesn't have to be. Let me point something out. You're listening to a podcast right now, and it's great. You love the host. You seek it out and download it. You listen to it while driving, working out, cooking, even going to the bathroom. Podcasts are a pretty close companion. And this is a podcast ad. Did I get your attention? You can reach great listeners like yourself with podcast advertising from Libsyn Ads. Choose from hundreds of top podcasts offering host endorsements, or run a pre produced ad like this one across thousands of shows. To reach your target audience in their favorite podcasts with Libsyn ads, go to Libsynads.com that's L I B S Y N ads.com today.