99: You SHOULD Break Up feat. Drew Afualo

Summary

Episode Summary: "You SHOULD Break Up" feat. Drew Afualo

Podcast: Happy Wife, Happy Life
Hosts: Kendahl Landreth & Jordan Myrick
Date: February 23, 2026
Guest: Drew Afualo

---

Episode Overview

This episode sees Kendahl and Jordan joined by social media powerhouse Drew Afualo to tackle the burning question: "Should you break up with your partner?" Mixing sharp wit, candid personal anecdotes, and relationship "expertise" (the kind that comes from actual lived experience and being very online), the trio discusses why breakups aren’t an inherently negative thing and answers listener questions about relationship red flags, couple’s friendships, and Valentine’s Day drama. The episode sets a playful, empowering tone, emphasizing agency, mutual respect, and the idea that sometimes, breaking up is the healthiest route forward.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Guest Introduction & Credentials

• Drew Afualo is praised as a multi-talented force: author, social media personality, podcast host, and actor.
• [00:54] Drew, on being a New York Times bestselling author: "I should wield it way more...but I just tell people I make fun of dudes on the Internet."
• Humorous take on how older generations are most concerned about income rather than the nature of internet careers ([01:49]).

Qualifying the Unqualified – On Giving Breakup Advice

• The hosts and Drew joke about being “deeply unqualified” relationship advisors while simultaneously asserting experience through their own happy unions and histories with being dumped ([02:44], [02:53]).
• Drew: "I've never been dumped...does it count if it just kind of fades on its own?" ([02:53])

Why They're Pro-Breakup & Pro-Divorce

• [03:42] Jordan: "We're very pro-breakup, pro-divorce."
• [03:51] Drew: "I think it's bad to encourage people to stay in an unhealthy, unhappy situation."
• Discussion on sunk cost fallacy, acceptance, and the myth that time invested means you should keep going ([03:59]).
• Practical takes on the costs and logistics of divorce, including the idea some people stay legally married just to avoid paperwork ([04:09]).

On Marriage, Prenups, and Relationship Practicalities

• Drew and the hosts share their perspectives on long-term commitment, marriage, and financial fairness.
• [05:46] Drew, critiquing the pageantry of marriage: "For people who don't believe in divorce, you guys offer marriage so easily."
• All express the belief that commitment is key, and if divorce were to ever happen, they'd walk away cleanly without bitterness: "Take what you brought into the marriage and just never want to see you again." ([06:47])
• A team mentality towards finances, taking into account fluctuations in earnings and supporting each other during lean times ([08:04]).
• The importance of living together before marriage: “I cannot believe people get engaged and they've never lived together. Insane, sick.” ([08:37])

Fighting Conspiracy & Fan Theories (with Humor)

• The hosts and Drew recount bizarre fan conspiracies—claims that Kendahl and Jordan aren’t really lesbians, or that Drew is a "Nepo baby" whose dad paid for her TikTok fame ([09:44]-[14:41]).
• [14:54] Drew, on TikTok success for women of color: “Famously, it’s extremely easy in general for women of color to get attention in this industry.” (sarcastic)
• The group laughs about speculation over Drew's fashion choices and comments about her being pregnant due to wearing oversized t-shirts, despite repeatedly saying she doesn’t want kids ([16:49]-[17:22]).

On Social Media, Authenticity, and Dealing with Rudeness

• Experiences with social climbing and people targeting the more popular partner in a couple ([12:02]).
• Jordan: "Why do you think someone would like you being rude to their partner?" ([12:14])
• Drew shares stories of dealing with objectification and negative comments online.

Religion, Upbringing, and Skepticism

• The trio muses about growing up in religious environments, the performativity of devotionals, and their personal agnosticism ([18:20]-[21:03]).
• Drew: “Imagine if it would be like, oh, I'm gonna live my life based off Moby Dick.”

---

Listener Questions & Advice

1. The Flirtatious Trader Joe’s Boyfriend ([24:42]-[45:04])

• Scenario: Listener wonders if she should break up with her boyfriend—a Trader Joe’s employee—who flirts on the job.
• Key Insight: Flirtation vs. Friendliness hinges on intention.
  • Drew: "Men don’t know how to flirt unintentionally...if they're flirting, it's intentional and it's on purpose for something or someone.” ([27:16])
• Advice: If it bothers you and has for a year, break up—whether it’s his flirting or your feeling about it. Either way, it’s not working.
  • Jordan: “Either he's flirting, and that bothers you, or he’s not and you need to take some time on your own.” ([44:48])
  • Drew: “If you're writing into a podcast, mama, we got a bigger problem.” ([45:23])

2. Breaking Up with Another Couple ([54:55]-[64:10])

• Scenario: Listener wants to “break up” with another couple (husband's co-worker and wife) because they’re annoying.
• “Just keep saying no, make something up every single time until they just stop asking.” ([56:48], Drew)
• The hosts and Drew acknowledge ghosting in friendships is sometimes necessary, especially when social signals are being ignored.
  • Drew: “There’s, like, cues. We've come up with humans to, like, initiate that without having to do that." ([57:34])
• Women are expected to stomach uncomfortable social situations more than men (“Every road leads back to misogyny,” [57:55]), and it’s okay to not take responsibility for everyone’s feelings ([59:17]).
• Splitting off from your partner for different social activities is healthy: “If your husband enjoys himself, by all means.” ([63:41], Drew)

3. Long-Distance and Valentine’s Day Gifting ([65:10]-[73:19])

• Scenario: Listener in a long-distance relationship sent a rose and chocolates, but received nothing for V-Day.
• Wait for the full day before making assumptions—timing and expectations matter ([66:05]).
• Importance of communicating which holidays matter to you and what you expect for them: “You have to get on that same level with your partner.” ([66:47], Jordan)
• Caution about unlabelled relationships on holidays: “If they're treating you like a partner, but you have no label, you're just doing charity work.” ([68:00], Drew)
• On meaningful gifting: “Intimacy in relationships is in the seeing and the noticing.” ([71:53], Drew)
• As relationships evolve, gifts shift from things to experiences or disposables due to space and practicality ([72:58]).

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• [03:51] Drew: "Just because you lost five years doesn’t mean you can’t gain the next 10 back."
• [06:47] Drew: “Whatever we brought in is what we take out. Anything we start together, after, split down the middle.”
• [15:21] Kendahl: “I have comments all the time...someone was like, ‘Kendall already spoke about this months ago—she’s sick with cancer.’ ...I’m not, to be clear.”
• [33:10] Drew: "Men humiliate themselves willingly and for free every single day. Treat them accordingly."
• [34:33] Drew: “It truly is decentering them entirely. Making peace with being alone...If a man accessorizes your life, great. If not, you’re still fulfilled.”
• [36:28] Drew: “Loneliness is not the problem. But you, it’s. You’re not alone. Those are two different things.”
• [39:02] Drew: "Only respecting women you're attracted to isn’t respecting women."
• [43:47] Drew: "Your man will never feel bad about you being better at something than him if he doesn’t already believe he’s better than you."
• [45:23] Drew/Jordan: "If you’re writing into a podcast, it's already, mama, we got a bigger problem."
• [57:55] Drew: “Every road leads back to misogyny. Women are expected to stomach [uncomfortable social situations].”
• [66:47] Jordan: “You have to get on the same page early on in a relationship about what holidays matter to you and how you express that.”

---

The Throuple Bracket & Guest Pitch ([75:09]-[81:45])

As a playful closing, Drew is invited to pitch herself as the theoretical "third" in Kendahl and Jordan's relationship throuple bracket.

• Drew: “I would add diversity to the group...I make really good money. I have a very healthy dose of fear inside men.”
• Matching shoe sizes is a plus ([76:09]), and extensive star sign discussion ensures comedic compatibility.
• Drew’s pitch also includes: “I come with a good man, a quiet man that we can make lift things.”
• Ultimately, Drew wins this round of the throuple bracket, edging out the season’s previous guest, Ash Perez.

---

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:35 – 02:34: Guest intro, Drew’s multifaceted internet career
• 03:42 – 04:54: Pro breakup/divorce, sunk cost fallacy
• 05:46 – 08:43: Nuanced prenup and marriage talk
• 09:44 – 14:41: Conspiracy theories and internet myths
• 24:42 – 45:04: Trader Joe’s boyfriend: flirting or friendly? Advice on trust and breaking up
• 54:55 – 64:10: How to "break up" with another couple
• 65:10 – 73:19: Long-distance and Valentine’s Day expectations, meaningful gifting
• 75:09 – 81:45: Throuple bracket: Drew’s pitch and astrology rapid-fire

---

Tonal Highlights

• The tone is irreverent, direct, and empowering; full of sarcasm, camaraderie, and hard-won wisdom.
• The speakers celebrate loving relationships but never shy away from the realities of breakups, boundaries, and setting higher standards.
• Humor is a key vehicle for making difficult social and emotional dynamics less intimidating.

---

Conclusion

This episode of “Happy Wife, Happy Life” is a must-listen for anyone wrestling with the question “Should I break up?” The trio delivers both laughter and clarity, encouraging listeners to ditch the shame around quitting a bad relationship, advocate for themselves, and embrace the joys of independence. Their signature blend of warmth and tough love ensures you’ll walk away with practical tools, a few savage one-liners, and the reminder that sometimes, yes, you absolutely should break up.

Transcript

[A]

Welcome to Happy Wife, Happy Life.

[B]

We're your hosts. I'm Kendall Landris.

[C]

And I'm Jordan Myra.

[B]

And we are two incredibly unqualified but

[C]

deeply in love comedians who are here to help you with all things relationships. And on today's episode, we're helping you decide if you should break up with your partner with the help of the absolutely incredible Drew Alfa Wallow. That's exactly how I feel that you're here.

[B]

I also, before this, you're like, what credits do you want me to say, Drew? And then you just. You landed on the Incredible.

[A]

Well, that's more than enough.

[C]

It's not wrong.

[A]

The incredible all encompassing.

[C]

You also do a lot.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

You're a podcast host.

[A]

I'm a man of many hats.

[C]

Yeah. You're a social media superstar.

[A]

Right.

[C]

You're doing acting.

[A]

Yes. You're acting.

[C]

You're an author.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

It's, you know, I'm sure that's best selling.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

New York Times bestselling. In fact, write that down. Go ahead and jot that down.

[C]

Everyone leave a comment below.

[B]

Do you just say that constantly? Because I think, like, when you're on the Internet. I'm very proud to be on the Internet. But at the same time, when you're, like, going home to relatives and you're talking to people and you have to be like, oh, I do like videos on the Internet. Are you now like, I'm a New York Times bestselling author?

[A]

Honestly, No. I should say it more, though. I should wield it way more than I do. I forget oftentimes.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So, like, normally. Because I've been saying the same thing for my job description for a long time. Yeah, the incredible. Yeah, the incredible. Obviously, I just literally tell them. I'm like, I know. I just make fun of dudes on the Internet. And I even one time I did a, like a Hollywood reporter thing and they asked me that question in an interview. They're like, what do you. What do old people say? Like, older people say when you tell them what you do for a living? And I was like, I say I make fun of dudes on the Internet. And then they normally go, they pay you to do that? And then I go, yep. And then that's where it ends. Like, they don't. They ask, no follow ups. They really don't give a.

[C]

They want to know. They want to know if you get paid for that.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And that's all they want to know.

[A]

They care about.

[D]

That's all.

[C]

They care about it.

[B]

There's no one more concerned with the income you're making than a elderly stranger.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, how are you monetized?

[A]

Yeah, they're like, but they pay you. And I go, yeah. Though. Well, all right. All right. There's something for everyone. Yeah.

[C]

I think that's beautiful. It's kind of the ultimate acceptance, right? It's so nice.

[A]

Capitalism, it's really.

[C]

Is the ultimate acceptance. I always say that. I really do, and I believe that in my heart. Well, this is so fun. We were like, what would be the best topic to talk to you about? Because we could talk to you about literally anything for 100 years. But I was like, let's have a little fun. Let's get a little messy. Let's be a little bitchy. I love that. So we were like, drop your relationship situations, and we will tell you if we think you should break up with your partner, your crush, your situationship.

[A]

Yes, whatever. Yes.

[C]

I do want to say I think it's a little unfair of you to be giving breakup advice because you've been in a committed relationship for 400.

[A]

If anything, I'm the most qualified, as are the two of you. I would say, like, if you've been having it.

[B]

We've been dumped.

[A]

We've been dumped a bunch.

[C]

We've been dumped a ton of time.

[A]

Okay. Okay. Well, I've never been dumped. I'll say that. I. I have been like. I mean, like, does it count if it just kind of fades on its own? No. Right. That's not getting dumped. Right.

[B]

It counts if you're, like, holding a bouquet of flowers, crying, being like, please stay with me, and they're like, I'm not attracted to you.

[C]

That's what being dumped is.

[A]

Okay. Yeah, no, I've never had that experience.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

That being said, though, I do feel a lot about breaking up, like, breakups. And people come to me because people ask me all the time, like, should I break up with my partner? Like, blah, blah, blah. And I feel like, that's who Sylvester Quote, when she goes, there's only one person in this world who could tell you you're gay. They go, me? They go. She goes, no, me. That's how I feel about breakups. Like, I'm like. And that's more so a third eye thing. I don't think that has anything to do with my, like, relationship status. It's more so just. I just know it. I just know. I can feel it in my bones. You can feel it.

[C]

I think that's good. You know, we're very pro breakup, pro divorce. We have a Lot of hate for that. People are like, it's bad to be encouraging people to divorce. And I'm like, why?

[A]

No, I think it's bad to encourage people to stay in an unhealthy, unhappy situation. Yeah. Just because you lost five years doesn't mean you can't gain the next 10 back. You know what I'm saying?

[C]

Sunk in cost fallacy.

[A]

Hello.

[C]

You have to keep moving forward. But I also think people are like. I feel like people are always like, well, divorce is so expensive.

[A]

I guess it depends. Like it really does depend and you

[B]

don't have to legally do it. I mean everyone in my family, they'd be divorced and then I'd find out 20 years later they were still legally married. I'm like, but they haven't seen each

[C]

other in 20 years or they never got married in the first place because

[A]

they were already married to someone else.

[B]

But you can just kind of just move out.

[A]

Right. I think can be expensive if you don't. Well, I think aren't aligned. Right. In some regard. Or if one person makes money, the other person doesn't. It can be. But honestly, if I'm going through a divorce and I wasn't making any money, I'd be like, just leave. I'm going to figure it out.

[B]

We always say that like when we're.

[A]

If you don't have to go to court, it's not expensive. Yes, but that's normally why it's expensive, because you have to go to court.

[B]

Because I'm always like, time is money too, right? To, to a degree. That's ridiculous.

[A]

It's true though.

[B]

The IRS will contact me, being like, you need to make a phone call. And I'm like, just pay it.

[A]

Whatever I need to pay.

[C]

What is it, 20k? I put it on a credit card. I can't make the phone call. I'm like in the other room, I'm like, I'm going to shoot you with a gun. Time is hot.

[A]

Time is money.

[C]

We're married now, so crazy.

[B]

Time is money. But I think with the divorce we've always been like. Cuz you know when you get married you got to sit and you got to be like, well, what's going to happen if you go out of control? And I have to whatever. And I'm always just like. I think if we were divorcing I would be so just like, I just need to move on. Like, I'm so just like, there's no tit for tat.

[A]

Goodbye. You guys are so like me and my, my man, we've both had this talk because I'm sure you guys got like, you got to get a prenup. Like, I'm sure you guys got that before you got married too. And we genuinely. First of all, we've been together for eight years. Seven before we got engaged. Which. That also pisses people off. Like when I was like, I was in a long term committed relationship for a long time without getting married. And they're like, oh, seven years, no ring. See, you guys throw marriage around too silly.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

For people who don't believe in divorce, you guys offer marriage so easily. Very ironic for marriage. That's why. For real. That's why I'm like. Because you guys like the pageantry of it. Like, when I'm thinking marriage, I'm thinking commitment. I'm thinking partnership.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So that's why I was like, no, I want to live with my partner. I want to go through life with my partner. I want to experience ups, downs, sideways, forwards, like, all of it. I want to experience the worst and the best things before I decide to legally tie myself to someone. So we're the same way about the prenups. Because we're very. I'm very. Like, I don't really, genuinely. I do not believe I need one at all. Because I really do think if we ever broke up and divorced. Because I'm not saying that's never gonna happen, even though I don't think it will, but even if it did, I really do think we'd both be like, I just never want to see you again. Yeah, exactly. It's time for me to never contact me into the sunset. And I'm going to take all my shit that I brought into this marriage and I'm. You take what you brought into this marriage and I just never want to see again. Like, that's really how I feel. Yeah. And that is the kind of girl I am. And that's how he is too. So I really do feel like it's unnecessary, but not so, like, but also

[B]

I wouldn't even want. Like, there's one person on this earth I wish ill will towards.

[C]

There used to be two, and now there's only one of them.

[A]

We've done some growth. Yeah.

[C]

One of them did some growth. There's only one now.

[A]

One of them.

[B]

There's one who I wish ill will towards. But anyone else, even people I dislike, I'm like, oh, I would never want. So I think about. We talked about that too. Is I'm like, well, even if, like, there's a World where, okay, let's say in our marriage, Jordan becomes, like, the rich. Like, you are added to the billionaire list.

[C]

Perfect.

[B]

That's why we're getting a divorce.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Because I'm not okay with it because I give to charity.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

And then we divorce. I still wouldn't want to be like. I think you would still be like, well, I don't want Kendall to not have anything.

[A]

Right.

[B]

I agree. I want you to be. Even if, like, we kept being like, okay, worst case scenario, you, like, cheat on me in a horrible way. Serial cheater for years, I find out.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Like, I still wouldn't want you to be, like, without a place to live.

[A]

I agree. Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

Like, basic human rights. But we kind of have just been like, we're just signing some papers that are, like, everything half.

[A]

That's. Yeah, that's how. That's exactly what I told my. My husband. I was like, my future husband. I was telling him, like, that we should just really just, like, whatever we brought in is what we take out.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Anything. We start together after split down the middle. Like, that's. That's really how I feel.

[B]

And I'm sure you guys are like this, too. It's like, I'm like, this is a team. So anytime I'm like, if there's ever a time where, like, I'm making more money, that's because you were putting in

[A]

the hours doing something. And you guys are just like us, too, in that regard with finances, because we've never been that way. Because there have been times when I had no job and he was making all the money, and then there were times when I had a job and he had no money, and then now there's times when we're split down the middle. So it's very like. That was another reason why, though, I wanted to, like, live together, not just, like, with other people, because we lived with his parents for a while. He kind of lived with me and my family for a while, and then we moved out on our own, which is just, like, a very different thing. Like, I always. I cannot believe people get engaged and they've never lived together. Well, that's where I. Insane, sick.

[C]

I would prefer to say yes to

[B]

marriage than I was to moving in together. Moving in together. I said, now this. Because this is inconvenient.

[A]

Divorce.

[B]

I say I walk away.

[C]

I. I call you got a lawyer to handle it.

[B]

Divorce. If I'm having to pack my up, no way.

[A]

That's going to take a week.

[B]

I'm going to be hot. I'm going to be sweaty. No. I took a lot of time to think about moving in together. We didn't u haul in that way. But marriage, I was like, that's. That's great.

[A]

That's.

[C]

Well, because already a certain point, you're like, we're already married. Now we're just doing some paper work.

[A]

Right. You know, I guess.

[C]

Unless you're like, super religious or something. But we're not.

[A]

No, I agree. But you guys look at marriage the same way I do, which is like, partnership, like, commitment to each other. Like, that's really how I look at marriage. And even, like, a lot of people have asked me, like, what are you most excited about for the wedding? And I was like, this makes me sound corny as, but I really do. Like, just getting married.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, that is what I'm most excited about is to get married and be married to the person of my dreams. Like, that's really, like. Sorry. Like,

[C]

no, but I love my man.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And that's okay. You know? And that's okay.

[A]

I think that's all right.

[C]

I think that's beautiful.

[A]

Sorry. Sorry. We're all so deeply in love and happy and fulfilled.

[C]

People are so jealous.

[B]

Sorry.

[C]

Crazy. I want to know if you feel comfortable sharing.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I want to know what the craziest, like, conspiracy theory or fan theory or whatever around you and your fiance. Is that you?

[A]

That's a good question.

[C]

Our big one that I see a lot on Reddit is that we're not actually lesbians and that this is like a.

[A]

An attention sitting.

[C]

The biggest theory is that we're not actually lesbians.

[B]

Like, no one's ever like, yeah, let's

[A]

look at both of your outfits and then revisit this, honey. Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

They are circulation. But yeah, people. People are like, this is an attention thing. They're not actually gay.

[A]

That's why you got legally married.

[C]

That's why we got legally married.

[A]

Like, we're not getting enough attention for us. Yeah. Doing this for you guys want to get married. Oh.

[C]

Can you imagine if it was for ATT attention?

[A]

And this is how much girl it's really not giving me much. Like, if that were the case. Yeah. Not getting a ton of attention for it. Absolutely.

[C]

And we were also both poor when we met, so it was like, not

[A]

even nothing good store me and my man. That's true. That's how all good relationships start, I think.

[C]

Really nice. I think it is really nice. And people will, like, say something about that too. But I told Kendall I got on tick tock during The Pandemic. Because I was touring, doing comedy before Pandemic started. My ass is in the house. No clue what to do.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And so I make a tick tock. It goes viral. And then Kendall and I started talking, and I was trying to big dog her.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I was trying to be like, yeah. Oh, your friend told you about my tik tok? That went viral. That's awesome.

[A]

You're.

[C]

I think you're funny, too. I think I. You know, I'm sure. I'm sure people would like your stuff if you.

[A]

You're pretty chill. Whatever.

[C]

Kendall makes a Tik Tok. 500 million views.

[B]

What are you going to do?

[C]

All the comments are like, you're beautiful. I'd love to take you out the X factor.

[A]

What are you going to do?

[B]

What are you going to.

[A]

You have a dime on your hand. Your wife is a dime. I know.

[C]

So I had to lock it down immediately. But I. I was like, yeah, we just started kind of with nothing, like at the same time place.

[A]

But I go back.

[B]

I've always not. Well, I hope this doesn't hurt your feelings. But whenever I've thought about, okay, what would it be like dating now, I'm like, what?

[C]

Why?

[B]

That's just, you know, daydreaming, wishful thinking.

[A]

You're wishing that.

[B]

No, not actually.

[A]

No. You're right, though. I get what you.

[B]

Oh, I couldn't now actually even. Like, I'm lucky that I'm with someone that I adore, because I. I couldn't even. And I'm a nobody, but I'm like, I can't. I've seen you get. You people will try to get something from. I. It's just amazing to me. What people?

[A]

Yeah. They'll squeeze juice out of anything and they'll try to.

[C]

One thing that's crazy, too, to me is that a lot of times people will be really rude to me and then nice to her, which is. And I'm like, what are you. What do you think she has?

[A]

That I don't know.

[C]

What do you think she has?

[B]

I know both.

[C]

We share everything.

[B]

Right.

[C]

Also, why do you think someone would like you being rude to their partner?

[B]

I know.

[A]

I think it's because you guys are fake lesbians. Maybe. That's bad.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

They're believing you guys are dating men on the low. That's crazy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I've seen. What.

[B]

Seen people try to social climb. Like a local dentist. They're like, he makes a lot of money.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm like, this is crazy. So I'm just Like, especially here, when you date some. When you start dating someone, when you're both poor and have nothing, it's like you can't let it go. You.

[A]

No, you're right. You're right. Because I. I used to get that all the time too, from men who hate me mostly. But like in the last year or two, I started having random pick me girls find me and then all of them objectify my man. And then like, they'll say like, oh, she's ugly and shouldn't be. Whatever. Like, women have said that about me, which is crazy. But it's mostly men. And they always say like, oh, he's with her for the money. Which I always say. I'm like, I had. Dolph had $0 when he started dating me. You talking about, like, we literally met and. Well, we met in high school, so that was like 2009. Went to high school together. We stayed friends after. Stopped talking because I got pissed off at him. And then like literally for almost two years, I didn't talk to him because I was so annoyed at him. And I still can't remember what it was to say, which clearly wasn't that serious if I can't remember. Right. But I was just like, whatever you. And then eventually started dating in 2017. So like, that was way before I started doing Tick Tock. And I was like, like, what was his excuse then for being a committed partner to me? Yeah, four or five years before you guys found me, before you met me. But as far as conspiracy theory goes, they've had some pretty crazy ones. One of them, there was one I saw once where this guy said that my dad makes a ton of money and is like, I'm like, I'm a Nepo baby. I'm like, to what? I did not inherit anything. Like, if anything, my dad is a bad one. If that's the case, I haven't gotten anything right. Also, my mom is the one who made the majority of the money in my parents marriage. So what is he giving me?

[B]

Yeah, give her her flowers, girl.

[A]

The only thing I inherited from my dad was a jacked up grill. That is the only thing I got from my dad, like in height. That's really what he gave me. Thanks, dad. So like he made a lot of money, owned a gym franchise, gave it to my partner, like, gave it to my, my boyfriend, my husband, whatever.

[B]

So detailed.

[A]

Yeah. And then. And then that's like basically all that money is what funded my Tick Tock career. So my marriage is not real.

[B]

I was like, what?

[A]

What Like, I was like, who? Okay. Like that. I can't even follow that thread.

[C]

That feels like a plot to an A24 movie.

[A]

Yeah. Like, and it's also very like, Black Mirror episode. That's how it feels like. He's like, I just paid to get a following on TikTok. I don't know how I could have done that. Yeah. I mean, if there is a way, let me know.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

If there's a new way, famously, it's

[C]

extremely easy in general for women of color to get attention.

[A]

This industry.

[C]

Too easy.

[A]

That's what I said. If I. If that's the case, like, I'm the worst. I picked the worst look. If that, like, and like, vibe and platform.

[C]

Absolutely.

[A]

If I was trying to infiltrate the system. Right.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You think I would have gone a much different route. Like, an easier one by that measure. But.

[B]

But they're so detailed. Never, never cease to be amazed in the confidence. And you go. And they're not trolling. That'.

[D]

It.

[B]

You're really scary. I have comments all the time. We.1 recently, someone commented on something. I don't remember what it was. And someone was like, kendall already spoke about this months ago. She's sick with cancer. I'm not, to be clear.

[A]

Hey, I'm not. So to me, not sick at all. Yeah. You're like, is this how I found out?

[C]

Yeah, this is my doctor. She announced it by. Couldn't reach you on the phone.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

They said she made a video about this months ago. She has. I'm like, like, but you.

[A]

No, I didn't.

[B]

Something seriously going wrong.

[A]

I said one recently with one of my friends where someone had commented, because I like a look like my everyday clothing. I love wearing a huge T shirt and really big jeans. That's just like my vibe. I just like that.

[B]

I love.

[A]

And so I wear it all the time on my show. I wear it when I do live performances. Like, it's just comfortable and I think it looks cool. So I don't give a. I saw a tik tok probably a couple months ago where this girl was saying, you know, like, a lot of people were theorizing that me and my man had broken up. I don't know where they got that from. But then they were like, yeah. And honestly, like, either they broke up or I think she's pregnant because she's wearing these huge T shirts. Like, she's wearing these 3x T shirts and, like, these humongous clothes. Like, they're describing my clothes in such a up way and they're like, string. All these massive. I can't. I can't even describe how big the T shirt.

[C]

That's so crazy. But also, I'm like, and what if.

[A]

Right.

[C]

What if you're pregnant?

[A]

And what.

[C]

What if you guys broke up?

[A]

Well, and you know what's even funnier about that is, like, in my book, my New York Times bestselling book. Thank you. I have an entire chapter on why I don't want kids. Like, I literally talk. I've talked explicitly and publicly about how I don't want children, and I've never wanted children, and neither does my man. And we're both good. Like, I was like, we don't want kids. That's just something we decided a long time ago. But I was like, I think you need to, like, brush up a little bit on my lore. Like, I know I'm not pregnant. Those are just my clothes. I like wearing them. Thanks for that. You could just tell me you hate my outfits. That's okay.

[C]

Yeah. And also do that as well. And they will do that as well.

[A]

They did that in the comments, so

[C]

that was great all the time.

[B]

But when a woman says, I don't want to have a baby.

[A]

Right.

[B]

It goes for everyone. It feels like, girl.

[A]

No.

[B]

It goes one year out the other.

[A]

Yeah. They're like, well, you don't know. You might change your mind.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I was like, I'm not going to. Yeah, you might, though, though. I'm not going to. I'm telling you. You might have. I didn't.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Like, and even, like, I've watched, like, I've watched some girls, like, on Tick Tock who have become moms, and I. And it felt like very quickly, which, like, cool. More power to you. I love watching mommy vloggers, like, on Tick Tock, but I like watching them probably the same way they like watching me, which is like animals in the zoo, literally.

[C]

Because it's like a documentary.

[A]

I'm like, wow. I could never imagine, but, like, never am I watching. And I'm like, like, o, I wish. O, I wish.

[B]

All I watch is the women. Oh, it's like they're. They live in Tennessee, all of them. Morning routine, pastor's wife. They wake up, they always. They get their Bible out. They turn the heated blanket at the asmr. The clicking of the heated blanket. Click, click, click, click, click. They're highlighting.

[C]

I'm like, that is so funny. These highlighting in the Bible.

[A]

What are they?

[C]

What are you highlighting in the Bible? Are you for real? I grew up. I grew up Going to religious school. Cuz there were the only good schools like around me in Florida. I went, I went to a Christian school, I went to a Catholic school.

[A]

I've never ever felt you jumping teams.

[C]

Yeah, I'm just trying stuff out. Yeah, I'm bisexual. But for religion I was like I've never felt compelled to highlight something in the Bible. I've never been told to highlight something in a Bible. I think that's like maybe not allowed. It feels like dropping the flag on the floor. You're allowed to highlight in the Bible.

[A]

Yeah. What do they call them? Devotions. That's what they call them in the mornings when they do that. They call it devotional. Like they do their morning devotional. What do you think? They're like, I don't know girl. Right?

[C]

They're not doing that because the Bible crazy.

[A]

Yeah. No, they're like highlighting and then they're like I don't know what the devotional itself is. I can't even speak to it. I really don't. I actually have no idea. But I do know they call them devotionals. That's all I know.

[C]

It makes me laugh so hard because it's like literally 80% of the Bible is like, and Michael spilled his seed on the ground next to his brother, therefore he shall be stoned in front of the Lord or whatever. And they're highlighting it. A girl, big Starbucks, she's highlighting it. Remember that? I need to remember this.

[A]

That's what I'm saying. Like is it offensive to say, I don't really know. Like, like it feels almost like word of the day. That sounds up but like they're like word of the day. That's how their devotionals feel.

[B]

They, I think they literally will have verses day like that's the thing. Or they'll be like read the Bible in the year or read a Bible in a year. This year I'm going to read the Bible in the year. I go, they're like have seven kids. Their whole thing is that they're a Christian. I'm like, you've never read the Bible this year I'm going to read the Bible this year.

[A]

That's my goal this year. I've only been, I've only been told about it. I've never actually done the research.

[C]

I've heard good things.

[B]

You multiplied, you were fruitful.

[A]

Multiplied before you even like checked in

[C]

sentence before and after that you said

[A]

I had a lot. Yeah, like religion like that with, with friends before. And I've said like I, I think at a Time I was like, my sister was kind of into it. Yeah. So I was, like, trying to be supportive. Yeah. But I did kind of feel like this the whole time. Like, I felt like one foot out the door a little bit. Because I. I think at. At most, I'm agnostic. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, when it comes to religion, I'm very agnostic in that regard. I feel like I've always been that way. I've always been like, I mean, it could be true. Yeah. Or it could not. Yeah. Like, it's really anyone's guess.

[C]

Absolutely. Like, that's how I was like, I know or I don't know. I'm like, I don't know, but I don't know. I mean, it's nice that you believe, but I think if you're being like, I know or I don't know. I'm very skeptical. And I agree. I'm not basing anything I do in my life off an old book.

[A]

Right, an old book? Yeah. One that's been improperly translated many times too literally in a way to serve a larger agenda, which is like, you know, colonialism. Imagine all that.

[C]

Imagine if it would be like, oh, I'm gonna live my life based off Moby Dick.

[A]

Well, and another old book. Well, do you know what I mean? Big into whales.

[C]

Yeah. Imagine if all of a sudden, any other old book, you're like, oh, this is the thing. And also I. Kendall and I argue about this a lot. Oh, it's like a completely different. It's about having kids. I know we argue about this a lot because I'm. This makes me sound like I'm pro. These like, freaky ass new religions. And I'm not to be clear, but I think it's very interesting that old religions are kind of like, they got to pass. They can do whatever. It doesn't matter.

[A]

When they. When they bring up, like, monkeys or aliens, all of a sudden they're talking crazy.

[B]

Now, keep in mind, Jordan's start a religion.

[C]

Religion that I'm the head of, but it's very progressive.

[B]

But it's funny what you said about, about when your sister was like, try like getting into a little bit. Because I. I always like when I've been like, if I ever had a kid, of course, you know, you say, you're like, I want him to explore anything. Yeah, hey, explore, whatever. But in practice, I remember in middle school, I started getting really Christian because they go on the coolest trips.

[A]

They're always.

[C]

Parents have to work. They always play, like, after school programs

[A]

with, like, A taco night. I feel like, me. They say jokes about that. They're like, we're gonna have taco night chips. Awesome. And then. And then. Then you get there, and you're like, oh, my God. Nice. Like, friends and tacos. And that's awesome. And then they're like, all right, let's open them up. The night in prayer. And you're like, what? Hold on, wait, hold on. Prayer, Bible.

[B]

Like, Bible group. Feels a little bit like Hollister, where it's like they have, like, three hot guys that kind of stand at the front shirtless that are always like, do you want to play flat? Like, capture the flag with me?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, I do, but I. So I started going to this, and my poor mom. It's like she wanted to be supportive, but they would start wanting to go on these trips that were like mission trips.

[A]

Right.

[B]

My mom was like, no way in

[A]

the hell are you going on that.

[B]

But I. It's so hard when you have, like, this sixth grader who's like, I think this is really important to me.

[C]

Please, Mom, I want to know.

[B]

And she kept. This is so manipulative. And I actually used to hold this against her. She kept telling me. She was like, kendall, you can't go on this mission trip, but I will take you to Sandals, Jamaica. Which she knew was my dream. That was my dream. We didn't travel a lot growing up. That was my everything.

[A]

It did seem like the one, like, the true rip of a lifetime honeymoon.

[B]

Jordan said, I'm not going to Sandals, Jamaica. We can go somewhere.

[A]

I know a girl who got married that Sandals.

[C]

And I'm sure it was beautiful. I'm sure it was absolutely stunning.

[A]

There was, like, sandals branding, like, everywhere on the wedding day. Yeah. And, well, like, in. In the pictures, I was like, hey, we're here. Like, I don't need you to advertise my wedding photos. Right?

[B]

We're here.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I mean, well, that's like when you're in the movie theater and they're like, dolby Pictures is a blacker black screen than you've ever seen before. And I'm like, I'm seeing the movie. Yeah, I'm seeing the movie. And I'm not purchasing a Dolby IMAX screen. So let me watch the movie.

[A]

I'm already in the movie. Turn this off.

[C]

I'm already in the movie. Just like, let me watch the little Nicole Kidman thing and then see 500 trailers and then just let the movie start. I don't need to be explained or sold. Like, the Technology.

[A]

We got it.

[C]

No, no, they're like, the screen is darker on one side than the other.

[B]

I'm like, they always say, flashing xenon ball.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

They actually do say.

[B]

Okay, don't show me that. That's not safer tv.

[A]

What the hell does that really do?

[B]

But I never went to Sandal. Jamaica.

[C]

I know, but she every time.

[A]

Bucket list. Should be a bucket list. It is. Your mom's lowkey. Funny as cuz. She's like, what? What? What? Speaks louder to her than Christianity. Sandals.

[C]

Jamaica vacation.

[A]

I got to bring up Jamaica again. I got to bring it up again.

[B]

And she gets so mean with it. Till she go on, she go see if you pay extra. We weren't paying extra. We weren't even going.

[C]

You weren't paying it all, honey.

[B]

Pay extra. You can get a man who's specific to your little hut.

[A]

She's just manifesting for you, right?

[C]

She says, love God on island time. All right, you want to get into some from people?

[A]

Let's.

[C]

Okay. This person said that their boyfriend works at Trader Joe's and is a huge flirt.

[B]

They've written into us before.

[C]

And that's what she said. She said. And yes, I messaged you last season for the same reason and you did not answer it. So this person says, my boyfriend works at Trader Joe's. He's a huge flirt and it makes me feel like maybe I should end our three year relationship.

[B]

How does she know that?

[A]

Yeah. Does he work? Yeah, he probably comes in the grocery

[C]

and then he's like, wow, these. Oh, my God. God, this Olive Trabata. I love this all.

[A]

Imagine he was like really cold to her. He's like, well, I can't play favorites. They know. They know. Like, okay, they know you're with me. It's part of the job. Well, that's what I'll say is like, he's not a bottle girl, so he doesn't need to be doing all that. Yeah. You work at Trader Joe's. Yeah. Let's keep it nice. Nice. Right and tight.

[C]

Yeah. If you are getting tips, right?

[A]

Do whatever. Do what you gotta do.

[C]

If you gotta do anything, do it.

[A]

What's so hard?

[B]

This is what. And this is. I honestly, I'm a little upset. She said we didn't answer it. We did answer it. I don't think we gave her the answer she liked because I would have her this. Maybe I thought I said, this is

[A]

maybe you answered someone else's with the same issue.

[C]

Yeah, everyone. The guy at Trader Joe's, that's Too flirty.

[B]

I think what I said was, it's always hard for me with this is. I'm like, I don't know what your barometer for flirting is.

[C]

Like, are you.

[A]

That's a good point.

[B]

We talk about a lot, like, Jordan, I are pretty, flirty people, but not, like, we're not, like, making people think we're about to take them home.

[A]

Well, that's why. That's what I think the distinction is with flirting and being, like, really likable. Like, I think there's a difference because I'm like that too. Like, I joke about, like, every time I'm hosting or have my show or whatever that, like, I'm. The whole thing is just getting people to fall in love with me, which does work. But, like, my thing is, like, flirting. I think it has intention behind it.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

So when you're flirting, it's either for attention or to get someone's number or to get laid, whatever it is. Whereas, like, when you're just, like, generally a very friendly, warm person, like, that's not flirting. But some people could take it as flirting. Yeah. So I think it's the intention that matters more than anything. And how she knows that, like, if, like, she's caught him flirting before, like,

[B]

is she, like, in the, like, gingerbread text?

[A]

Like. Right.

[B]

Because I. If in that case, she's insane. But also, to me, it's just hard because I think either way, though, if you're a person who's, like, really forward, like, I feel like we're like this. I feel like you're like this. Like, we make a lot of eye contact, we get really interested. And I think some people could take that as flirting. I couldn't date someone who was always like, you're flirting, you're flirting, you're flirting, you're flirting.

[A]

I would. Like, then you're being jealous, which is annoying and, like, insecure.

[B]

Could date someone who's, like, the same way. Way.

[A]

Right. Yeah. So I like. Yeah, I agree. And also, I'll say this, too. It's. She said he. Right. So she's with a man.

[C]

That's what it seems like.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Man.

[A]

Men don't know how to flirt. Unintentionally, I guess, is my point. Sure.

[C]

Because they're not straight men.

[A]

No way. Like, straight, straight CIS men, especially. No way. If they're flirting, it's intentional and it's on purpose for something or someone. It really just depends. But that's what I'm saying. You're right, though. Like, what's her perception of Flirting. Like if he's just being nice. Nice. And you're being like, hey, you're flirting so goddamn much because you're being nice. Like, that's weird.

[B]

She's ringing the bell.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

His manager's like, get out of the air.

[C]

That's what buys one of the rappers.

[A]

They're like, oh, God, she's here again. Like, she shows up. Like, I agree too. Because my. My man is very. A very. And this is me not being biased. My man is a very good looking person. So when women.

[C]

We've talked privately, he's extremely attractive. Well, what we've said, what do we say? A picture comes up of you guys sometimes and we go, that's a handsome couple. And then we're like, you know, I'm gay.

[A]

But he's nice.

[C]

He's not.

[A]

He looks good.

[B]

Well, we were really good about was. People are so. They'll say, they'll say, what were we talking about? We were like, people will. You'll get these comments.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

About. On the Internet. And you go to the man's profile. I mean, this is what you're holding. What the fuck is that?

[A]

Right? The fudge Is that right? It's one of those where they're like, oh, my man's like, he's treating me like shit or whatever. But they're saying in a way that's not intentional. Like they're like kind of airing out their own laundry about their man. And you're. Well, I got to see what this guy looks like. You know, you go and look and you're. What the hell? Like saying what the.

[B]

These men will comment on like masculinity in some way. And then you go to your provider

[C]

like, oh, yeah, you used him as a. This is what we were talking about. Because we were talking about that girl from the Bachelor, what's her name? Maddie Pruitt and her gay ass seeming husband. And I don't think her husband is gay. I don't think her husband is gay. I don't think he'd ever be lucky enough to be gay.

[A]

He's just homoerotic.

[C]

He wish he's homo psychotic.

[B]

I'm act like we're back.

[C]

That's what it was.

[B]

Christian men who were like, sorry, God, if you. Chris,

[A]

they've done far worse to the world. It's okay. All right. Right.

[B]

The we're like, these Christian men are like masculinity. I'm the leader of the home, sitting there looking like I'm like on her

[A]

little like humpty Dumpty. And I said, legs cross.

[B]

Used your fiance as an example. We said, now if a man.

[C]

We literally said that. Now that's a man. If he said, you said, now that's a man.

[B]

I run this home.

[A]

I'd say yes.

[C]

And yes, you do. Because I'm like, if you're. You know, once again, it's kind of like, don't throw stones in a glass house. If you're going to be talking about

[A]

masculinity and a fem being a feminine it. Right. My mom, like, house is coming, like, calls coming from inside the house.

[C]

It's sick. And, yeah, Maddie pr. Her husband always makes me laugh so hard.

[A]

This is.

[C]

Don't sue me. This is a joke. Whatever. I. I'm just, like, always shocked to see and hear the things that he's saying. I'm like, this is.

[A]

This is.

[C]

So. How do you guys not feel like this is gay?

[A]

Like, yeah, yeah. Like, you want me to take you seriously?

[C]

I'm just like, somebody.

[A]

I don't punch that guy. Sometimes men, like, when they. Like. I was just talking about this with Daisy yesterday. Like, my sister, Jason. I was just joking about this with her yesterday because I was telling. Sometimes men will, like, for real, like, talk to me as if, like, you can't. You can't talk to me that way. Yes, I can. And you're not the boss of me. Yes, I can. I can call you a stupid. Yes, I can. Like, I've had men freak the out at how I speak to them because they are disrespectful, because they believe inherently that you should respect them purely because they identify as man first. Even if I don't even know you, I don't know your name. Like, I owe you that.

[C]

Wrong.

[A]

And I was like, lesbians have been on that tip for a very long time. Lesbians have always been hip to that game. I. So am I, though. Which is why they're like, oh, you're probably a lesbian. Wrong. Wrong. I just don't. I don't deal, unfortunately. I think for them, I just, like, genuinely don't respect them. Like, that's, like, really what it is. Like, I just have zero respect for you in my body.

[C]

And that's beautiful.

[A]

Yeah, it's a beautiful thing.

[B]

We get really, like, to that.

[A]

Yeah, very. Like, because we.

[B]

I mean, men are just so not a part of our lives. Like, I see a man, like, once every week when I film this.

[A]

Just. Richie.

[C]

Hey, Richie. Love you, Richie. He's so sweet. No, but I will never forget. I always think about this. I was Friends with a girl when I was younger, and she was extremely quiet and mysterious, and she had all these cool attributes to her. I can't say any of them because then people will know who it is. But she had all these cool, like, hobbies and she traveled and like, all these things. And she was very quiet and everyone was obsessed with her. People were like, oh, my God, she's like, so intellectual and different or whatever. And then as I got closer to her and she started talking more, I was like, this is dumb. Capital D. Dumb. Not even to be mean. I'm just like you said, people will

[D]

know who it is.

[A]

Is.

[B]

Was she like a famous person?

[C]

No, Like, I would.

[A]

Yeah, they'll know. They'll know. I first thought it was a famous person too. I wish. Yeah, that would be crazy.

[C]

Kendall Jenner. No, but it was. I was like, oh, but she is. Even though she's capital D, dumb, she's not. She's not smart. She's not making good choices. She's not thinking about things. The one thing she has done very intelligently is been like, I'm not smart. I'm gonna hold back on the words.

[A]

Right, right.

[C]

I'm gonna keep it in a little bit. You created this, this image of mystery.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Around her. And people thought she was so smart and so different and so interesting. And I'm like, some of these men need to be doing that. They can't talk a little bit less. And like, you get out a little bit more honest.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Things would be so good for you.

[A]

Well, and that's why I think they'll never do that, which is a good thing. Like, I always tell women especially, but like, anyone really who's attracted to men, I always tell them, like, because someone had asked me, are you going to comment on this? Like, I think I've kind of moved away from making fun of men all the time. Like, I just have done it for so long. I'm like, I've proven I can do it. I've lapped this school a million times. Like, you guys know. So, like, now I just kind of do other stuff too. But I always, like, go back to, like, the education part of it and the empowering part of it. Cuz that's the part that I care about, like, more so than anything. But like, even when I was like, they'll always ask me randomly, the Internet, they'll be like, do you want to. Are you. Can you tell us what your thoughts on this trend? Or whatever? And it always has to do with misogyny. Like, largely and one time I said like, honestly, the only thing I have to say is like, men humiliate themselves willingly and for free every single day.

[C]

That's true.

[A]

Treat them accordingly. That's like really what I have to say. Like, treat them how they deserve to be treated. Which is what they show you. It's like a really great blanket rule.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because sometimes I'll give people, well, what if he does this? But he doesn't do this? Like, and I, I've said this before. I'm like, sometimes I think women, I can. Women's especially like, who are attracted to men. I really do think their bar is like, he doesn't hit me. And like there are so many. Yeah, yeah. No, I hope he doesn't. That's like the very bare minimum. There are thousands of other things that you should be paying attention to. Like when women say, like, oh, well, we got married and then he got cheap. That's not true. That's not true. You don't just get cheap. Like you, you some, you are cheap. Yes. And you eat it for however long and then at a certain point you can't take it anymore.

[B]

What do you think when people. Because this is, is like my poor. It's like I'm running a charity sometimes with my street, my street girlfriends. I'm like, I don't know, I don't know what to do anymore. But they're always like, when I say that, they're like, but I, it's like they, they're like, I know my bar is so low, but I don't know what to do because that is where,

[A]

like where it's at.

[B]

That's where it's at.

[A]

The pool is at any of the

[B]

men that are above that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

They're gone. They're taken.

[A]

Taken. Or like the solution in that regard, I think a lot of times is, is this, this is the advice that one time tried, someone tried to get me canceled for this, but I mean this very literally. And this.

[C]

And you'll see, can't wait to hear it.

[A]

Yeah. And you'll hear. And you'll hear how that's what it was. Yes, it's. It truly is decentering them entirely. It's like making peace with being alone. Like that is the solution. Like I, I know women don't want to hear that, but it's true. Because the reality is you can live a beautiful love, sex filled love life and not be with someone, have a baby. Yeah, you can have a baby. You could have a compound. You could have a roommate. You could Have a best friend you can have. Any women can do and achieve anything. I really do believe that. And they are inherently better and smarter than men. I already believe that too. So it's like the, the answer is quite literally like, you need to love being alone. Like, you need to love it. It fill your life with love and color and everything you've ever wanted. And then if a man accessorizes it perfectly, great. If not you. Like, that doesn't mean you're never gonna have sex. That doesn't mean you're never gonna go on dates. That doesn't mean you're not gonna have a lot of really sexual, sensual experiences. I feel like a lot of times that's what women are thinking about. Like, oh, well, just if I'm alone, I just mean that means I. I don't get laid.

[B]

But no, these guys, I'm like, how many sensual sexual experiences he gave?

[A]

And then it's like, yeah. Then it's like, oh, well, you know, sex dies after marriage. I don't know anything about. I don't know what you're talking about. I can't relate to that. I don't think that's the case if you're happily married.

[B]

Right?

[A]

Right. So I do think it's like, it's decentering the idea that it's like, that's the end. Like, I think a lot of straight women are like, oh, well, once I get a man, then everything's going to be perfect. Once I get the perfect man, then I'll pursue that business I want to do. Then I'll go finish my degree, then I'll go get another job, Then I'll, you know, get a new hairdo. Like it's like anything like that. Like, it's because it's centered more than you realize or you're willing to admit. And I think that's why I tell a lot of women. And like, there is autonomy and like, honesty. So, like being very honest about, like, well, I just, I feel lonely and that's why I want someone. Or I see Valentine's Day or I see holidays or my birthday or whatever, and that's okay. Like, I think loneliness is a very human feeling.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I really do believe loneliness is the most common feeling. Like, people in relationships feel lonely.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

So it's like, loneliness is not the problem. But you, it's. You're not alone. Those are two different things. Feeling lonely in the moment is. Okay, that's valid. It's fine. It's okay. You can feel, feel it. But embrace it and be like, okay, would I rather have this temporary feeling of loneliness or would I rather be shackled to someone who hates me? Because the reality is a lot of men who are terrible and in relationships hate their partners. We.

[B]

We've talked about this where it's like a person.

[A]

Sometimes I see couples and I'm like, you hate your wife.

[C]

Like, because not all men like women and not all women like men and not. We mean that in like a gay way. They're closeted.

[A]

No, it's like a friend way.

[C]

Yes. I think there are some men that like, only are interested in being friends with men and some women that are only interested in being friends with women.

[A]

Right.

[C]

And I think that affects your relationship dynamic in general.

[B]

About that the other day where they were like, it's actually so wild that people would be like, I would never be. I would never date a man who is friends with, who's really close to the woman.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And it's like, really think about that, though. Like, actually. And why that's so scary that you're comfortable dating a man who has no close female friend.

[A]

Well. And even then, like, it also for me that it depends on the context. Like, are you talking about an ex? Yeah. Yeah. No. Yeah. No. I don't want you to be friends with them.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

But yeah, if you have. If you have like a sister you're really close to or a friend that you grew up with and she's married. Yes. And you guys just grew up together. But that's another thing about heterosexual relationships. Like, that's really easy in. In gay relationships, because first of all, a lot of gay people like to be friends with their exes. That's a very normal thing.

[C]

That's wrong. I think that that's wrong.

[A]

That is a very common thing. But their dynamics are very different. And I think that's why women don't like that. Because. Because notoriously, men only are only friends with women they want to have sex with.

[B]

But that's.

[A]

So that's the problem.

[B]

The problem that, that you dated a man who sees.

[A]

And we had.

[B]

I mean, even you've talked about when you came out as gay, it's like so such a whiplash when you have these male friends. He's like a brother to me. And then you come out as gay and he's like, and I don't want to hang out with you.

[C]

Never seen you again.

[B]

Did you think we were going to have sex?

[A]

Well, I don't know. I thought maybe one day. And it's true. It's gross. It's like when you find out, like, wait, you've been my friend this whole time on the off chance I feeling bad about myself and slept with you, and then they're like, well, yeah, it's so normal to them.

[C]

Loser, baby loser. When that stopped talking to me when I came out, I was like, we've been friends for like seven years. There's never been anything even remotely romantic. Not even an inkling.

[A]

You haven't tried once and neither have I.

[C]

Yes, I've been in relationships a lot of that time. Like, never ever anything. What did you think was going to happen? That's so embarrassing for you?

[A]

That's why, like, there's a change. There's a change. The brand, like, they have a shirt that says, says only respecting women you're attracted to isn't respecting women. Which is the whole point. Like, that's why, that's why I tell women all the time, never take anything they say seriously. Yeah, men, please. But like, nothing. They have notoriously bad taste on top of that. So, like, yeah, you never need their input for anything.

[C]

You know what I always think is interesting? I. I don't. I think it's interesting. I don't want to judge too, too harsh, but I'll see these videos on Tick Tock where, like, women will be. Be like, I know it's a good outfit. Like, you know, there's the text or they're showing off their, like, little, like, funky outfit or whatever, and they're being, I know it's a good outfit. If my husband says he doesn't like it, okay, you know what I'm talking about.

[A]

I've never seen those, but I, I do know what you're talking about.

[C]

Being like, I'm wearing a weird outfit. That's for girls. My funky outfit. My husband could never. And I'm like, why? What's wrong?

[A]

That's a larger issue. Like, yeah, it's. It's like that trend that kind of kicked up last year with, with straight women who are like, my husband did the craziest thing. And then they say something left our

[C]

kid on the roof of the car.

[A]

Yeah, son, and he forgot my birthday. Y got me nothing. Like, and, like, they'll say it and like, many women have been like, what the is this? Like, why are there so many? Like, I even saw, like, there was like a trend for a very long time of women doing that. And then I saw this, like, meme of a comment on a tik tok that was explaining again, like, my husband did this crazy thing and it Was like abuse or like terrible. Just like treating you like. And the comment said, let me guess, you didn't know this video was going to go viral and we don't really know him and this is only a sipping into your relationship. And then the girl girl was like, well, yeah. And I like, I have had so many people ask me like, are you like, what, what's going on with all these women who are posting these videos? And I really do think, like this is the sad part, but I do think that the women, these women are coming to the Internet in earnest. Like they are saying this because the only women they know in their lives are also in relationships with men who don't like them and they're mean to them and they're disrespectful and dismissive of them, but they don't have hit them, so it must be okay. And that's why I said like the, the bar is like, well, he doesn't hit me, so it must not be that bad.

[B]

Well, especially because.

[A]

Which is not the case.

[B]

I think we have a war perception too. Well, once again, because we're mostly around lesbians, but also like even we're in, you know, we lived in New York, now we're in la. We're on a lot of artists around, a lot of creatives. Creatives that it's just, you know, I do have straight friends who, their husband is an absolute delight and it's like they have kids and their husband is so like, it's just equal.

[A]

It's an equal partnership.

[B]

It's awesome. But then. So things like that sound so crazy.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But anytime I travel to another state and I go to an event and I meet these people that I, I am. It is wild to me where these men. I'm not trying to be rude, but I also am. They, they're, they're non. They can't function.

[A]

No, they're like, they're like low key. They're evil. Like low key, they're evil. I've met, I've met men before where I'm like.

[B]

But it's all of them. They're all in a group.

[A]

You're married and have children and you're evil and they're ugly and they look like frat brooks.

[B]

I'm like, oh, you'. I'm a 40 year old banker. I'm like, what? You just did a, like a kegger? I like watched you do a kid at home.

[A]

It's like.

[B]

And it's all of them and I get really overwhelmed where I'm like, oh, I'm very used to like, I think with all my, my straight friends, I'm like, there's so many awesome guys.

[A]

There's so many awesome guys. That's literally what my sister says. Cuz she's also lesbian. So she also says like, I don't know, just like when I'm around strange straight men, I'm always like, I feel like I'm being surrounded. Like, like, whereas like the men, like, like my, my fiance, my dad, like even like the, the only straight men in my family. I'll say. And even like we have friends. One of our really closest friends is married and he's a wonderful man too.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And so it's like. But I said, see all the men, those men that we know and love that are straight, all of them, if I may seen but not heard. Yeah. They don't care about being the center of attention. They don't need to be. They're very like, no, she's the attention of. I'm not. And that's how my relationship is. Like, he's very like, I hate attention. I don't want to be looked at. This is actually perfect for me because you get attention. I'm like perfect because I love attention. So it like works out. But I, I really do think that's the difference. Like the difference is you have men who are genuinely confident and not just their masculinity because, you know, I feel like that's a fallacy too. All of that is made up gender expression in general. But like they're also just very confident in who they are as people, as men. They don't derive or draw power. Power from pushing down their wife.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So a lot of times men like that, like they, they feel good about themselves because she is lesser than him. And that's why I think emasculating, like, you know, when they're like, oh, let him do these things because you don't want to emasculate him. I've always said for years that that is a fallacy because I really don't think that your man will ever feel bad about you being better at something than him. If he doesn't already believe, believe he's better than you.

[B]

Well, and talk about emasculating. I'm like, there's nothing more emasculating than being like, I'll let him do that.

[A]

Make him. I'm like, that's like what you say about pageantry of it. Yeah.

[B]

Story. But with masculinity. I'm like, what the hell is this? Yeah, it feels really nuts only to answer a question. So I'm sorry I interrupted you, like, times, but you were saying about, like, the Trader Joe's person.

[A]

Oh, yes.

[B]

You feel like, like you and your fiance are a little flirtatious maybe, but

[A]

in a way, I think it depends on intention. So I think, like, if you've already seen him and caught him and he's like, oh, yeah, sorry, I was flirting and he's still doing it, then, yeah, break up. And. And if you know for a fact it's flirting, but if it's just your man being friendly and, like, they have to be friendly at that job, which you have to. Well, you should be friendly at most jobs. I don't say you have to because there's many people who work in many different jobs that are not friendly.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, Right. So it's not. Not a requirement by any means. It's showing up and clocking in. That's the requirement. Then I would say then maybe you need to work a little bit on you.

[C]

Well, that's what I was going to say is that I think you should break up either way.

[A]

That's true. That's a good point.

[C]

Yeah, I' of like, either he's flirting and that's bad.

[A]

Right.

[C]

And that bothers you.

[A]

Right.

[C]

I won't say whether it's bad or good. But he's flirting and that bothers you, or he's not flirting, but you feel like he's flirting, and that's something that maybe you need to, like, take some time on your own to like, figure out.

[A]

That's true. And maybe.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And if. And if you sent this question in a year ago, it's been another year.

[B]

And I do love you for that. I love that you stay in contact because I Please let us know how this goes.

[A]

Goes.

[B]

But I think, I mean, I feel need to write into a pod. That's always. I'm the worst podcast. I'm like, if you're writing into a

[A]

podcast, it's already, mama, we got a bigger problem.

[B]

But please do keep writing in. That thing is great. I think breakup.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Either way, you're right.

[C]

I think breakup. And like I always say, it's like you'll either end up back together or you'll end up with someone who's more right for you. And like, those kind of the two options.

[A]

That's how I always, like, when I was dating, that's how I was like, well, yeah.

[B]

And you know where to find them.

[A]

Well, their loss, I guess. And I'm a Big fan of ghosting, too. Because I. I've said before in dating, I feel like ghosting. Unless, of course, you were, like, monogamous for a long, long time.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

But, like, I think you were just dating, like, ghosting is fine. I've, like, compared it to the train. I'm like, when I get on the train and I sit next to you, like, and we start talking, like, I don't gotta tell you when I get off. I just met you.

[B]

Well, also, we're always like, people, this might aren't illegal. Like, I feel like the Internet has made people be like, ghosting is, like, really bad. I'm like, it's actually just like, doesn't matter.

[A]

No. And sometimes. Sometimes people are insane. And. Yeah, I don't really feel like explaining to you. I don't want to see you because you're insane.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

You're like, I gotta take a step away.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Privately.

[A]

Yeah. I'm gonna just disappear and you'll never see me again.

[C]

I exit this relationship.

[B]

I ghosted a person one time. I've ghosted many people, actually. I was bad about it. I am not good at confrontation. I'm better now. But I. I remember this one time this girl, like, got. We, like, went out to drinks, and then she, like, vomited on my carpet and then just left. She didn't clean it up. And then my friend was like, we shouldn't ghost her. I was like, honey, she's got all the answers she needs.

[A]

She goes to this throw up. Yeah, I can ghost her. I only. I got confronted about ghosting one time in college. But to be fair to me, first of all, I. If I just wanted to do it, I can. But, like, also, this guy met me at a bar randomly, was buying me and my friend drinks. Who gives a. But then he, like, followed me into my Uber and, like, would not leave me alone. Like, would not leave me alone, but was on some of, like, I just want to get to know you. I just want to get to know you. And then, like, in the Uber, he was like, I just want to get to know you. And I was like, no, give him your address. Because, like, you're not coming with me to my friend's house. Because I was going to my girlfriend. Girlfriend's house, and she was also in the car.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And the Uber driver was, like, driving, and he was like, no. Like, I'm just trying to like. And he's, like, getting too close. And I was like, okay, there's no more drinks in here. And I'm angry now. And I used to be a lot more, like. I don't want to say violent, but I used to be a lot more aggressive when I was younger.

[B]

Like, he's being violent.

[A]

Any scenario. Like, and then I remember, like, even in my most drunk state, I was. I'd never forget anything, and I'd never, like, I'd never, like, be too up to, like, know what's going. Control what's going on to some extent. So then I. I, like, snapped out of it for a second, and I was like, no, you don't. Because he's like, I just want to get to know you. That's what he kept saying over and over again. And I was like, no, you don't. You want to me, and that's not gonna happen. So give him your address or get the out. Because we were, like, out of stock.

[B]

Yeah. And then was he like, whoa. Yeah.

[A]

He was like, oh, I live at. And he, like, gave his address. And then I was like, and stay over there. And then we were just sitting in the car, and it was quiet, and it was awkward, which, like, I didn't give a right. So the. And then we got. He got out. He was trying to talk to me again, like, with the door cracked. And then I reached over and slammed the door closed, and I was like, let's go. And we just took off. I, I. This guy tries to hit me up multiple times a week, every week.

[B]

Give your number.

[A]

Yeah, for, like, three months. He gave it to himself at the bar. Like, took my phone, put it in there, text himself, and then text me every day for, like, a month, I want to say. Then I saw him randomly at a bar. I kept ignoring. I ignored every single message. Never once responded. Never nothing. He sees me at a bar, confronts me about ghosting him, and then just comes up to me and is like, oh, so. So you do have your phone? And I was like, what? Because transparently, I didn't remember him until he brought it up. And then I was like, you really? I was like, bro, like, leave me alone, dog. Like, I was like, I'm making a restraint at the bar, trying to order a drink. He's like, no, that's up. That's up that you did that. Like, that you're just ghosting me like that? And I go, you really. You. You don't. You didn't want me to ghost you? And he was like, no. I go, okay, you want to hear it now? I don't like you. I think you're ugly. You're way too short. And also, I was like, also, you're like, almost 30. I'm 21. I'm young and turned. What the. You think I'm going to a 30 year old? You're crazy. And I was like, and also your beard, it's ugly, it's patchy. And you're not smart on top of that, you're not smart. And I said, and your pants all too small. You were wearing too small pants at the bar last time I saw you,

[B]

and you didn't get any.

[A]

And I was like, so would you have rather heard that through a text or a voicemail? Like, what the. Did you want me to tell you wanted me to tell you all that through the phone? He say, and nothing. He was dead silent. And I remember later, like months later, the bartender was like, I remember you. And I go, really? He goes, you. You were at this bar yelling at some dude. I remember I told all my friends,

[C]

ruined that man's life.

[B]

And what's crazy, it's like, what's the haunting, most haunting part about all that? Is like, he. It's obvious you're not interested and he still wants it, which is so creepy.

[A]

And I said that I was like, you. I. You couldn't tell by the fact that I ignored every single one of your texts. You couldn't tell I didn't like you and I didn't want to be with you. You couldn't tell.

[C]

Especially after meeting in a bar. You guys hadn't even gone on a date or anything.

[B]

It's like when I was dating, it would be like a. A girl would ask me out, and if I got even, she looked somewhere the wrong way. I'd be like, she's not interested.

[C]

She's not. And that's women.

[B]

She's uncomfortable.

[A]

And that's women reading the room, right? But then I was like, you. You tried to walk up, impress me, and make me, like, embarrass me and what. And intimidate me. I was a man. I felt like this flinching. Get the out of here.

[C]

It's extremely hard to impress a tall woman. I think as well. I think it's one of the hardest things to do.

[A]

Well, I was never, like, I was a. Believe it or not, a lot meaner when I was younger. Like, I was way meaner. And I was way more blunt because you have to be.

[B]

But you're not mean. And you know this. But it's like you're like, what he was doing was so mean.

[A]

It's like what you're doing is like, I agree. It's a mean off for Pemdas canceling each other out. I say it's all. It's all a wash. Yeah. That's why sometimes when men online tell me like, oh, and whatever, if I got on here and made fun of your looks, go ahead.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

I encourage it if you do it.

[B]

Yeah, it's oh, that's never happened before.

[A]

No one ever commented on anything. I welcome it. I encourage it. Honestly, if you do it, tag me. Yeah.

[C]

And you know it's not monetized my network for free.

[A]

Go ahead. I agree.

[B]

Sad Today's episode is sponsored by Quint. Your wardrobe should feel elevated and effortless. Quint has everything you need to mix and layer all yarn long from wardrobe staples to statement pieces. Quinn's clothes are comfy and built to last. The materials are high quality and the fits are great. It's so easy to find something you love. If you've listened to this podcast for any amount of time, you are probably overhearing me talk about quints. You're exhausted. Because it's all I talk about. And I don't just talk about it during this ad. I talk about it on the podcast. I talk about it in my personal life. I'm always telling people how much I love Quintessential because I truly go look through my Instagram most of the time

[A]

when I'm feeling really good in an

[B]

outfit to the point where I post a photo of me wearing that outfit. It's something from quints.

[A]

I love quince so much.

[B]

I got a white tank top from there that I wear every single day and when I die it will be in my estate sale, probably framed that you can buy for $2 million. Because I wore it so much and I'm so obsessed with it, Quince partners directly with ethical factories and top artisans. No middleman means you're getting top quality pieces without paying luxury prices. Refresh your wardrobe with Quince. Don't wait. Go to quince.com wife for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q U I n c e.com wife for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com wife today's episode of Happy Wife Happy Life is sponsored by Lisa. Get a Better Night's Sleep with Elisa Matt Mattress. Lisa has a lineup of amazing mattresses tailored to how you sleep, each designed with a specific sleep position and a preference in mind. With Lisa, you get full body support. No matter how you sleep, you can feel the difference from night one I think I've mentioned this before, but Jordan's parents have a Leesa mattress. And let's just say if you're looking

[A]

for a way to try to convince

[B]

your kids and their perfect wife to come visit you more often, getting a Leesa mattress is the way to do it. Because I am constantly dreaming, dreaming of the perfect cozy sleeps I have on the Leesa mattress at their house. Rest easy when you try Lisa with free shipping, simple returns, and a 120 night sleep trial. Go to Lisa.com for 30 off all mattresses. Plus get an extra 50 off with promo code Happy. Exclusive to Happy Life. Happy Life fans. That's L EE E S a.com promo code H A P P Y for 30% off mattresses, plus an extra $50 off. Support the show and let them know we sent you after checkout. Lisa.com promo code happy. Today's episode is sponsored by Herobread. Herobred is making bread. Better bread that's high in fiber, low net carb with zero grams of sugar. Hero makes bagels, pastries, hot dog and burger buns, even pasta and tortilla tortillas. You'd never know herobread is low net carb and high fiber. From the texture, it tastes great and the texture is amazing. I recently tried Herobred's bagels and listen, I'm a bagel snob. I lived in New York City for years and I give herobred bagels a 10 out of 10. They are doughy, they are delicious. They are so, so good. And I'm obsessed with them. Hero products are the perfect way to add protein to your, your diet. From light snacks to family meals. Hero has you covered. Herobred is offering 10 off your order. Go to Hero Co and use code wife at checkout. That's Code Wife at H e R o dot co.

[C]

Okay, our next question. My question is how to break up with another couple. My husband's co worker really wants to be couple friends with us, but I find him to be incredibly annoying. And his wife has no personality outside of her husband. My husband keeps saying yes to hangouts. How do I stop this from happening?

[A]

I mean, I would tell your husband,

[C]

I agree, but let's, let's create an alternate scenario where I think that this, for me, I would be like, stop doing that and don't ever do that again.

[A]

Hey, I hate them.

[C]

But not everyone. Kendall reminds me all the time that not everyone is as confrontational as I am.

[A]

Me too.

[B]

Always. Like, we'll pull him aside and say, I need to Speak with you.

[C]

Excuse me, sir.

[B]

Get over here.

[A]

My man's like you. My man's like you. Where he's like, that's like, not like if we don't have to do. Yeah.

[C]

So I'm telling you better.

[B]

Here's how you do it without ever having to say anything.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Seamless.

[C]

So I'll say like, okay, let's say she tells her husband. Her husband's like, I agree.

[B]

What do they do?

[C]

Cuz I actually don't really know what is good. We've had to ghost people.

[A]

Yeah, we so have.

[D]

I.

[A]

Like couple friends. Like, I'm.

[B]

You've done nothing wrong. Any free time I have, I don't want it to be spent with you. It's tough.

[C]

Really mean.

[A]

Let's just call this what it is. Yeah. Really over.

[C]

Feels really mean. But you can't. That's one thing that's so hard is you can do that in relationships. It feels like you can't do that with friends.

[B]

I'm looking. We don't have that spark. But with friends, you really have to be like, anytime I have, I never want it to be with you.

[A]

Yeah. And I guess, like, they're co workers too, so you have to factor like the husband having to see him all the time, which, like. Yeah, that's true. I mean, mean, I'm trying to think very literally, like, what I would do. I honestly, if I'm being honest, I would just tell him to keep saying no and making something up every single time until they just stop asking.

[B]

Because, you know, my therapist told me and I was like, thank you. Because I've always felt so bad where I'm like, there's these certain people in our lives that they just, they reach out. And I. I hesitate to say this because I'm a horrible texter. So there's also people in my life that I adore. And I'm like, please just keep reaching out. Because I. But there's some people where I'm like, we met once.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You've reached out to me every week for the last five years.

[A]

Right.

[B]

I've made a excuse that's they've gotten worse as time has gone on. It's so clear I'm not interested. And I was like, it makes me feel so horrible. It makes me feel so bad. And my therapist was like, yeah, but also, like, they're not reading any signal. Like, I. And that is also on them. You shouldn't have to be. Which I think sucks sometimes. Communicating clearly is great, but I shouldn't have to be Like, I don't like you and I don't want to spend time with you.

[A]

Exactly.

[C]

There's, like, cues.

[B]

We've come up with humans to, like, initiate that without having to do that.

[A]

Exactly. And that's. That's purely so your feelings aren't hurt. Like, I don't need to be doing all that. I could just never see you again. And, like, we don't need to talk ever again. And also, I will say, too, I hate to bring it back to this, but every road leads back to misogyny. Women are expected to, like, stomach like that.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Like men. When men don't like someone, they don't ever see them. Like, if they don't like them, they're like, no, I hate them. I'm not going to see them. Like, whatever. Men are very, like, blunt about that. Or even, like, they. If they do spend time with them, they'll, like, be like, I don't like that guy. I hate that guy. Yeah. And they're very blunt about it. Women, like, are never given the same space, obviously, to be like, I don't really like this person. And honest, honestly, every single time women say that, it's for a reason. It's not big and it's. And it's a reason. Most often times found out on multiple occasions. Yeah. It's not like one where you're like, oh, we had this one thing, and one time they did something, it's. Unless it was huge. It's normally like, every time I see them, they're rude and annoying. It's like, so I don't want to see them anymore because every time I do, they're rude and annoying. Yes. Well.

[B]

And I think you struggle because Jordan's very confrontational. So I think if someone was rude, you'd be like, I don't want to have.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

I think when it's hard is when

[A]

I'm like, this Will, you're just not feeling. And you're just not gelling.

[B]

Like, I think I have to be like, which I'm. This is my New Year's resolution last year. I'm being like, I don't like them. So why am I so stressed that they're going to not like me?

[A]

Right.

[B]

If they think if they say once a year to a friend, oh, Kendall and Jordan, they're such bitches.

[A]

They're so rude. I.

[B]

They didn't want to hang out with me, it's fine.

[A]

And you know what's funny is you're cool with that, right? Yeah, I don't give a damn I'm,

[C]

I'm just like, you know, I, I, I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings that, that shouldn't have their feelings hurt.

[A]

Right.

[C]

But I also can't take responsibility for everyone's feelings.

[A]

I agree.

[C]

And I'm also perfectly happy having a conversation if someone's like, hey, I always try to hands with you and you never respond like, I'm fine to have that conversation with them. I think what you brought up is so valid though, because I think a lot of people don't want to have

[A]

that conversation and it is like something they avoid.

[C]

I think that's what's hard. But I'll tell you, there have been times where I could not get a read on somebody where, like, I would see them in person because, you know, everybody does this, you know.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh, my God. Okay. And then I'll text them and they, like, won't respond. So I'm being like, okay, so we're not going to hang out. But then the next time I see them, why aren't we hanging out? Whatever. And I've had, there have been times when I've been like, hey, every time we see each other, you like, say you really want to hang out, but we've never done that.

[A]

You're so real. What is that?

[C]

I'm just kind of cuz you don't have in on that.

[A]

Cuz I think if that's your idea of small talk, I'd get rid of it just in case someone takes you for real. You know what I mean?

[C]

Working. And I, that I necessarily even want to hang out. So about. I think that makes me just feel really nutso when someone, like.

[A]

And that's fair.

[C]

Will not respond to your text messages. But it's like, we have to see

[B]

each other too much.

[C]

It's too much.

[B]

You're probably a perfect angel from heaven above. Above. And I literally, every time I'm out with you, I wish I could see you.

[A]

And I'm like, okay, yeah, there are people. And then you guys, I'm sure I know, like the kind of person we're talking about too, sometimes there's a lot

[B]

of them in this world.

[A]

Yeah. In this industry especially because there are some people that like, I spent time with one time, and then they are like, we need to see each other. We need to do this. And like, at first I'm like, no, for sure. Like, yeah, like, But I'm busy and you're busy. And even if we don't even live in the same place, that's also another Fact actor. But then I'm like. When they. It's one of those things for me where it's like an over familiarity annoys me. It chafes against me. And also high maintenance. Like, I'm in my 30s. Yeah. I'm not in high school. I'm not gonna see the same people every goddamn day that are not in my life all the time. Right. So like if you are a high maintenance friend and I met you one time, no, I don't feel bad about not responding to you. And no, I don't feel bad about not making plans with you because you're annoying.

[B]

I've had to work on is being like. Because I get. I get confused because I'm like, yeah, I don't feel like I person. But they're acting like we literally really close.

[A]

And they do that in here. They do that in this industry.

[B]

Yeah. So I'm going, oh, God. I got it. Text her back. What's your last name? I gotta. She can kill me.

[A]

It's like, what?

[B]

You don't have to hang out.

[A]

You're right. And I've said before, I was just telling my man this the other day that I feel like time in this industry moves. Like military time.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So like each year is five. That's how it feels in this industry. So that it's like you feel like you have this like closeness to people because you just met them and whatever. And you guys hit it off. Off, whatever. But like, you guys know this. Like, we were joking about the wedding. You're like, I'm popular. Like, it's hard when you're doing a small wedding versus big one. You're right. Me too. I'm very popular too. So, like it. Did I gel with you or do I just get along with everyone? Yeah. Like, I feel like you'll know because I know, like, I can tell when someone's not with me. Yeah, I can tell. Yeah. And I think, as in a fully formed adult moving in the world, everyone should have that skill.

[C]

Everyone should adapt, ask and be prepared for the real answer.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

I think that's fine too. I think some people don't have good social skills.

[A]

Yeah. The ability to read. Yes.

[C]

And I think that's fine. I think you can just be like,

[A]

hey, but here's what I'll say and then just prepare.

[C]

But be prepared.

[B]

Three text, no response. I'm not saying that decides anything. Why don't you wait?

[A]

Yeah. Let me come to you. Yeah.

[B]

Because why do you even want a friend that literally.

[A]

I agree. Care if you live or die. I agree.

[B]

But I will say to this too, because we've had a conversation similar to this because Jordan has the social battery of like, she can run for president. I'm like, she's fine. Shaking hands with every person. And there was a. A couple months ago, we met this couple that was amazing.

[A]

They were awesome.

[B]

I was like, yes, I would love them. And I. And Drum was like, we got to get dinner with them. And I literally said. I was like, I can't have any more friends. I. We actually can't ever see them again.

[A]

I'm capped.

[B]

I loved them. If I was maybe two years ago, great. We can't.

[A]

I can't even falls off the roster.

[B]

They can be on the way to get. And I know it's up, but.

[C]

Or.

[B]

And I said, or you go hang out with them yourself. I cannot have another person I want to hang out with. Cuz that's every.

[A]

I'm spread people spread fan. I got so many friends.

[B]

I wish I could spend more time.

[A]

I agree.

[C]

It's not a reflection of that person.

[A]

No, not at all. It's just timing. It's just like the time of life.

[B]

So I think for her too, she'd be like, if you want to hang out with your coworker and his boring ass wife, go ahead.

[A]

That's tea. If your husband enjoys himself, by all means.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Because nothing here really tells me whether or not the husband liked it. But yeah, I think you can just feel free to split off and yeah, absolutely. Do different things.

[A]

Are you kidding? Hell yeah.

[B]

I have lupus. So, I mean, anytime Jordan just says, Kendall's sick, she's sick.

[A]

She's so sick.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. She can't leave the house.

[A]

And that's period.

[C]

And honestly, I go, sometimes it's a lie.

[A]

You'll never know. You never know if it's true. So you got to take it seriously.

[C]

Otherwise you're an exactly 100%.

[A]

Utilize all the excuses in the world. That's what I would do. I'd be like, can't, I'm busy. Just tell them I'm busy.

[B]

Yeah. If you want to see and get more. That's part of like, I think, I mean, at least I'm just turned. I'm 26. And I feel like people say like when you turn 30, you just suddenly don't care. Like that's why people. I don't care. And I feel like I'm. I was always like, how I can't wait. That's like my dream. I'm feeling it More as I get where I'm just like, oh, I actually.

[A]

As you get more settled in life too, like, and then you have your best friends and you have your day ones and you have the people that you've been that have been with you for years or new people that you're like, this person's going to be in my life forever.

[B]

And when you're married, I do. It makes you be like, oh, yeah,

[A]

look, I got one.

[B]

That's worst case scenario.

[A]

I got one. That's the best fudgeing part.

[C]

Yeah. You're like, I don't really have to listen to anyone.

[B]

I've even.

[A]

And I always got one friend. Exactly. And they're married to me.

[B]

Quieter in social settings too, because I think I used to be so like on, you know. And then as I've gotten older, I'm like, I don't need to like make anyone be impressed by me. They probably.

[A]

It's a beautiful thing. It's really self realization. It's a beautiful thing.

[C]

It's really nice. Okay, we can do one more quick one and then we're gonna move to our final segment.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

This person wants to know they're in a long distance relationship. They sent him a rose and tried chocolates, but they did not receive anything for Valentine's Day. For V day.

[B]

Well, it's not Valentine's Day yet, so.

[A]

Right. It's true. Duh.

[B]

Premature, honey.

[A]

Well, yeah, I would say. I would say, yeah, I would wait till midnight. February 15th.

[C]

Okay. You think the whole day. You're giving the whole day.

[A]

I'm saying if you really want to go there. She's already counting the week before. Then I would give him the whole day too. Like week before.

[B]

And she already wrote into a pod.

[A]

I mean, it also depends on how far long distance. Cuz if it's in another country, it may take a little bit shipping. But midnight, it's like. Have you ever watched Modern Family? Yeah. Do you know that episode in the beginning when he's like. It's like Cam and Mitchell and they're going to bed and he's like, good night. And he was like, wait one second. And he's like, three, two, one. You forgot our anniversary. And then he turns the light off cuz he waits till midnight.

[C]

Because then they can't be like, no, I just hadn't done the thing yet.

[A]

Right. They're like, it's coming later. The only reason I say to wait and not say anything is because like you, you could like 801 in the morning. Be like. But then they have all day to figure something out. That's true. So, like, they could last minute buy you something you want to know. You just gotta wait and see.

[B]

Valentine's Day is harder to me because I'm like, how did you forget Everyone. It's everyone.

[A]

The national holiday. No, like, literally work off. No, you don't get work off for Valentine's Day.

[C]

We never had a normal job, so we don't understand

[B]

Valentine's Day.

[A]

You guys know, three weeks for Valentine's

[C]

Day, for weeks for Arbor Day.

[B]

That's what I do.

[C]

I think that you have to get on the same page early on in a relationship about what holidays matter to

[A]

you and how you express and how you express that. Yeah.

[C]

Because there are some people where it's like, the anniversary is really big. Some people their birthday is really big. Some people Valentine's Day is really big. And it's like, you have to get on that same level with your partner and be like, this is what I like for this holiday. This is what I expect. This is what I hope for.

[A]

What do you like?

[C]

And how do we, like, build that thing? Because I think people are so quick to be like, I sent a rose and chocolates on Valentine's Day. But to me, I'm almost like, no shade to this person. I'm like, that's very, like, impersonal kind of t. Not that it's bad.

[A]

No.

[C]

But what if, like, their partner was like, oh, well, I actually, like, I

[A]

don't want a gift.

[C]

I want. Yeah. I want a handwritten card. I want, you know, something that has a little more, like, thought put into it rather than kind of like the traditional Valentine's Day stuff.

[A]

Right. That's true. I could be new, too. And that's probably why. Yes. Like, which is, again, another thing. Like, you're like, at this state, like, how long have you guys been dating? Dating? Like, are you guys brand new? Are you still talking? Are you, like, actually a couple? Yeah. That's another thing, too, is I think sometimes, like, un. I would. What is it? Like, unlabeled. Right. Like relationships. Valentine's Day gets confusing. Yes. Because they're like, well, this is about love, and you and I are having sex. And so. But those are not the same thing. Those two things cannot be conflated.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And. But if they're treating you like a partner, but you have no ladies label, you're just doing charity work at that point. Like. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, you have no label, but you want one, and they Don't. They're like, well, let's not label anything.

[C]

Let's not like.

[A]

And then, of course they're not going to celebrate holidays because you're not their girlfriend. Like, you're not. And that's. That's the, like, go around they use. It's like. But it's also not fair if you circumvent it.

[B]

I feel like I used to do that with people. I'd be like. They'd be like, I want something casual. I'd be like, me, too. What? Yeah, me too. I don't care. But then on days like Valentine's Day, I'd be like, well, we're Valentine's. And it's like, you're trying to just not hear what they're saying. You're like, yeah, label means nothing. If we just also.

[A]

And that's girlfriend. Where I. I say, like, honesty is important. So it's like, if that's what you want, you need to say, I was so not chill when. When men were like that. When I was dating men back in the day, and they were like, oh, I don't really like with labels. I'd be like, then you ain't with me. Bye. Yeah, because I'm like, what, am I gonna sit here and hang out with you? I don't need any more friends.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

That's not what I'm looking for. Right. So, like, absolutely. That kind of would piss me off because I. I am very literal. Like, I was like, we need to be blunt and upf about it. Like, what are we doing with each other? What is this? What are we doing?

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Yes. Like, that's how I am. And I'm very like, don't waste my time. Like, it's not on some crazy. It's like, I got to do. Don't waste my time.

[C]

Absolutely. I do think it is. You brought. It is very funny. It does feel like if you are dating and you actually do like each other.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You're not quite official yet. It feels like Valentine's Day is like Chekhov's gone.

[A]

You know, it's like.

[C]

It's right there. It's right there. We're so scared of it. Because you have to. I feel like you kind of have to make a decision. Like, that's why so many people get together on Valentine's Day. Because they're like, well, we like each other a lot and we're going to start dating. But it feels. It feels weird to celebrate Valentine's Day if we're not dating.

[A]

Yes. So they use it as, like, a. A catalyst almost. They're like, okay, this is the place. This is when I do. Which is sweet. It's nice. Some people.

[C]

Some people. I think that's probably helpful for them,

[B]

but some people are scary with Valentine. People are scared with holidays. I feel like with birthdays, there's always, like, one person in my life who. It's like their birthday feels like we all are on, like, pins and needles. Like, like we're trying not to be a bomb, where they're like, my birthday means everything to me. And you're, like, all in Mexico together with them, desperate for it to be good. And it's like, they're. It's just scary.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean, we. I feel like now we're just like, whatever. Some holidays will.

[A]

Just randomly.

[B]

I think if I just find something that I'm like, oh, Jordan would like this. I'm like, now, this is for Valentine's Day. Like, we don't really celebrate the holidays that much, I would say.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Unless we just happen. I feel like we'll attach it to something like, oh, we want to go here.

[A]

Oh, that'll be true. That's a good point. We. We even, like, for me, like, gifts and any sort of, like, romantic gesture between, like, me and my. My partner, it feels very, like, personal. Like, just whatever it is. Like you said, like, it feels. I. Yeah. Our flower is nice. Yeah. Our chocolate's cool. Yeah. But, like, intimate. I think intimacy and relationships is in the seeing and the noticing. So it's like when they get you things that mean a lot to you, like, there are things that. Like, my very first Valentine's Day with my. My fiance. I. I'm literally fighting the word to the urge to say husband, because I don't want to hear.

[B]

You guys are married already.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. So, like, our very first Valentine's Day together. I had mentioned to him, like, the year before that or something. I've. I'd never gotten one of those enormous stuffed animals, and I think they're so fun. Like, I think they're really cool. And I was like, I've never gotten one of those. And he was like, really? And I was like, yeah. So for Valentine's Day, that was one of the things he got me, was an enormous teddy bear. Sweet. And it was huge. It's bigger than him. And what's annoying is it's an inconvenience, if I'm being honest.

[B]

I know I said, you got a guest room.

[A]

It is really hard to have. Yeah. It's shoved in the guest room. Closet of my house. It's like, it is inconvenient otherwise.

[C]

It's watching you have sex.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. You know, like low key. I wish I did not get that. I did. I wish I didn't ask for that. But it was like. It's one of those things where it's like being seen. It didn't really. Like, it's not like the romance of it. It's more so being noticed. Right.

[C]

So I feel like 100%.

[B]

Cuz now I struggle. I think we both struggle because I am constantly. I mean, literally have cried this week about it. I'm like, our house is too small.

[A]

We have too much. We have so much.

[B]

And I. I'm sure you understand when it's like my house is already packed and then a brand sends me 700 things of their popcorn and I'm like, get this out of it.

[A]

No, My, my. Our garage is Mount Crumpet, like of all boxes.

[B]

But that, that's what we need is we don't have a garage. I'm like, I need a garage that's just like a bunch of food I'm

[C]

never going to eat.

[A]

And I.

[B]

We like take stuff to pantries. We do stuff. But I'm like, it's just.

[C]

We're.

[B]

Right now we're living in a. Like a small condo anyway. We need space. So I think. And you're like trying to get rid of stuff. We're both trying to get rid of stuff. So anytime a holiday comes around, I think it's this hard thing where I'm like, well, what I really want is for you to sell half your stuff.

[A]

You know, you could give me the gifting space.

[B]

The thought of buying you another kitchen gadget that I have no room for is horrible.

[A]

That's the beauty, the beauty of relationships as they grow and evolve. Yeah. Like, you start to read each other better in that way. You're like, okay, well, like, we're not with this right now. Yeah. So let me try and get you something else.

[B]

Like doing a lot of gifts that you can consume.

[A]

Like.

[B]

Yeah, we're like, I'm gonna get you a bunch of like your favorite fish that you can eat the day I give it to you and we won't.

[A]

Or go to a nice dinner or something. Like a nice omakase or something like that. We went to omakase for the first time the night we got engaged, which I was like, I'd never loved it. I got way too drunk.

[B]

Experience to do with your partner because you.

[A]

Okay, we're gonna try now we're trying this together.

[B]

I know.

[A]

Me. Me horking it down. I'm like, oh, like. And then they're like, did you taste some. I'm like, I didn't. Sorry. I loved it, though. Yeah. I was like, I. I think I enjoyed it, But I did inhale it just now. I was like. I felt, like, hungry after, but I honestly, I felt a little too drunk after because I was like, I need more food. Problem with. Yes, I did. Yeah. We had. We had a couple, like, fun drinks paired with some of them. Okay. But then they gave us a. A wine to, like, last. A white one or whatever. But the sushi chef, I make this joke all the time. Like, he was like, oh, like, you know that at stuff like that, sometimes they'll have, like, notes about what you're celebrating. So, like, oh, birthday or anniversary, whatever. And we were celebrating our anniversary. So he's like, oh, you guys are celebrating anniversary? And I was like, oh, yeah, yeah. Like, that's why we're here. And he was like, oh, cool. How long? And I was like, oh, seven years. And then he was like, oh, seven years married. And I go, no, no, no, just seven years. He goes, not married. And I go, no. He goes, not even engaged. And I go, no. And then he goes, then together, I guess, like that. That's exactly how he said it. And I was like, oh, sushi chef has Joe. Yeah. And then he. I was like, yeah, for sure. And he walked away. And I was like, man, that guy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And we were laughing. I was like, man, you don't know anything about modern relationships. Me, like, bitching and moaning about it the whole time. And then I left that restaurant, went upstairs, gone gay. And I was like, so, you know, like, I don't want to get married. Yeah. I was like, who gives a about a ring?

[C]

Getting married is for losers. You have to walk up like, oh,

[A]

my God, that is so funny.

[C]

Oh, I love that. All right, well, we do have one last little. Are you on time?

[A]

Yes. Okay, great.

[C]

We have one last little segment. Richie, that thing that I emailed you, can we get that up on the screen?

[B]

It's a nude photo of the two of us.

[C]

What do you think?

[A]

Rate it.

[C]

Yeah. So basically what we're doing is we're doing a bracket this season of every guest we have.

[A]

Oh, fun.

[C]

We're trying to find out who would be the ultimate third for us if we were to have a grapple.

[A]

Okay. Period.

[B]

And I want you to know, if we decide you. You have to do it.

[A]

Okay. You have to do a contract in blood.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Contract in blood.

[A]

To have.

[C]

You have to do this. And so you're going up this week against our guest from a couple of weeks ago, our first guest on the season, who was Ash Perez. Okay, so this is the bracket we've made. Who will be our third?

[B]

The pictures are very tiny.

[A]

The big March Madness thing, it is.

[C]

It's just like March.

[A]

No, I love it. I love it.

[B]

Something I think to keep in mind, we're taking this very seriously so there's no feelings involved in this.

[A]

Perfect.

[B]

Because if they're worried, get too. I mean, it would be impossible to choose. We're thinking about logistics, practicality, thinking about how, I mean, this would be a marriage. This would be. We're living together for the rest of our lives.

[A]

Right.

[B]

We give you the opportunity, whether you're interested or not, to pitch yourself.

[A]

Okay, perfect. Okay, well, I will say I would add diversity to the group. Thank you. So that's good. You guys do need that. Yes, I do make really good money. So there's that as well.

[B]

You really like that?

[A]

I also, I mean, what size shoe are you guys? 10.

[B]

Oh, that's good.

[A]

So am I.

[C]

Really?

[A]

Yes. Take that, Ash, take that.

[C]

That's actually because to big footed that often.

[A]

No, that's not what I'm saying.

[B]

And anytime we buy shoes, if it's expensive, you go, well divided by 300,

[A]

I'm a 9 1/2 10.

[B]

When she wears her insole, she's a she back and forth.

[C]

Wow. Okay, that's good.

[A]

And I feel like, I feel like we could be similar sizes in clothing as well. So like I was like, we could share clothing and shoes.

[B]

We can change that. We can all.

[A]

We can all change. We can mix and match, put everything in a pile, just kind of pick what we like. I love that I have a very healthy dose of to fear inside men. All men. Good. So if you guys needed something like that to kind of like just that little stench around you, like a little circle so that men know. I mean, you would think lesbianism would ward them off, but it doesn't.

[B]

Sometimes it makes us maybe naive.

[A]

You.

[C]

Right?

[A]

Well, and sometimes I think it. It attracts them to you like a moth. Like they're like, oh, you just haven't met the right guy yet. Whatever kind of that is. Right. And then, then also I'm stunning, gorgeous, hilarious. Yeah, we know that those are easy.

[B]

Let me ask you think what? I hate that I'm asking this, but this is what it's like. Hang out with lesbians. What's your star sign? Can I guess?

[A]

Yeah, sure.

[B]

Can I. Okay. I'm gonna really just.

[A]

Sure. Just shoot in the dark, I think.

[B]

No, it's. It is because my instincts of fire sign.

[A]

Of course. Yes.

[B]

But I think that's.

[C]

Neither one of us are that into astrology.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

That's how I feel about it too. When I talk about it, I sound so dedicated, but I really don't care.

[B]

Holding my hands as if I'm like pulling from the. I have no idea. My instinct is like a Sagittarius.

[A]

But I don't think that's what you are. That's my rising sign. So that makes sense.

[B]

It's your rising and you are a Virgo.

[A]

Yes, I am a Virgo.

[C]

Wait, that was actually crazy. That was actually crazy. It's never right. She's never been right. Literally one time. She's never been right.

[B]

Both. I was Sagittarius rising. Yes, I was going to say Sagittarius rising.

[C]

I literally feel crazy. Wait, guess the third one. Guess the third one. What's the.

[B]

What's the third one?

[A]

Moon.

[C]

Moon.

[B]

Guess.

[A]

I feel. Guess.

[C]

I'm so connected to God.

[A]

I feel spiritual in this moment.

[B]

No, I'm going to mess it up. Moon. What's moon is like how you feel inside.

[A]

Emotions. Yeah. Like what rules your emotions. You were two for three. Honestly. Is a great all up.

[B]

I got to.

[A]

But it's a great avenue.

[B]

My instinct is either. Okay, I'm thinking too. I think either like a Capricorn. You're so motivated. You're so career driven. So like hardworking and driven. But then I'm also like. I feel like you're so active actually. Like. And we'll find this when you're a thrle. Like I feel like you're just actually so like sweet actually. Like when you get home, you're kind of like.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know what I mean?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Which makes me think maybe Leo.

[A]

No, you were close. It was a cancer.

[B]

Thank you for saying cancer.

[A]

Moon.

[C]

Cuz they are close.

[A]

Yeah, they are.

[B]

I was like, you're just saying close.

[A]

It was something else. Yeah, you were really close. Yeah, they're right next to each other.

[B]

I went, you're. You're sweet when you get home. And I should have said cuz cancer's more emotional. I said Leo because I'm a Leo.

[A]

And I was like, wait, I'm sweet at home.

[C]

Yeah, she's hoping for the best.

[A]

No, you were right though. Virgo. Sun. Cancer. Moon. Sagittarius Rising.

[B]

I was going to say is that I feel like if you were like, we're both Jordan's.

[C]

A triple Aries.

[B]

I'm a Leo. Fire.

[A]

What's your. What's your other two?

[B]

A Taurus.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Moon. And then a Scorpio rising.

[A]

Oh, love Scorpio.

[C]

I don't get from you, but Taurus very much.

[B]

Yeah, well, Taurus is really how. I'm very introverted. I'm very alive.

[A]

A lot of my really, really closest girlfriends are Tauruses.

[B]

Yeah, I.

[A]

And Aries, actually. I actually love Aries when. And like, one of my best, best, best friends from college is an Aries. And I always say. I always say, do. Like, I never would have had fun without her and she would have died without me. So it worked out. Real good balance. I love that.

[B]

But I'm beautiful because I was like, I don't know if we need more fire happening because, you know, we. You two fire signs.

[A]

But we. Yeah, but you're. But no, you having no fear of confrontation is definitely Aries. So it's a very big Aries thing. No, I'm just water, earth and fire.

[B]

I mean, that's what we need.

[C]

You're so balanced.

[A]

That's what I'm saying.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

When I met with an astrologer one singular time, she told me that, like, she's like, you're so balanced and everything you're doing makes sense. Like, she was saying, like, the how you became who you are. And then I told her about my man, too. And then she's like, oh, my God, what a beautiful Venus ruled couple. And I don't know what that means, but I was like, period. I don't know what it means. Yeah, I was like, love.

[C]

I mean, it just feels good to

[A]

be told something, you know, anything that seems awesome.

[C]

It feels good to be told.

[B]

I was an astrologer once in Salem, Massachusetts, because I was like, well, this

[A]

is where I do it have to.

[C]

They didn't tell me anything.

[B]

I paid so much money, like $70

[A]

for like 10 seconds.

[B]

I was like, what? Literally, they told me, they said, a man with a beard. Well, maybe this isn't an astrologer. This is a psychic. That's my first.

[A]

Maybe I'm wrong.

[B]

I gotta be reading stuff before I handle my credit card. He was like. He was like, you will meet a man with a beard and he will change your life. I literally don't know. That was years ago.

[A]

Does he have a beard?

[C]

Richie, Richie, if you didn't change your beard, maybe.

[A]

Well, maybe it's still going to happen for you.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

They're going to change both of your.

[C]

Yeah, we'll see what happens.

[A]

Maybe it's my man. My man has a beard and you know what? And that's why I need to be in the thre.

[B]

And he will change our life. Cuz he's going to kill us if we make you.

[A]

No, he's going to take. No, he'll just. He'll do all the other things we don't want to do.

[C]

And that's awesome.

[B]

Third is that you come with

[A]

a good man, a quiet man that we can make lift things and do whatever. Whatever it is that is.

[C]

That's awesome.

[B]

Cuz I think 3 is actually dangerous. See, this is why I can never start opening up our relationship. Cuz I immediately go, what's one more? Come on, we're opening it.

[A]

Then you're just running a summer camp. Yes, absolutely.

[C]

And then I have to a bunch of activities. I'm doing baked potatoes for 40. It's not good. Three is hard.

[B]

And my mommy says, she said I would never let three of your like two of your friends go. You have to have three friends cuz then one of them gets left out. I don't think that'd be a problem here. But I think it's just something to think about. Like if you guys are turning against me, I can go to like.

[A]

There you go. And I have two dogs.

[C]

Perfect.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

What type?

[A]

They're both Frenchies. So are they on the edge of life constantly? Yes. But they are beautiful and perfect. So there's that.

[C]

Incredible.

[A]

That. That's probably working against me. But Ash can eat it. I think, I think I beat him. I think I got him.

[B]

I have to have a conversation. We need to.

[C]

You think you talk about it.

[B]

We need to have a private conversation. I need to think about it. I have a lot of things. The shoe thing really threw me off.

[C]

I think it was good.

[A]

Well.

[C]

And then you got the astrology. You got the astrology.

[A]

I know you never guessed once until

[B]

today, but I get too excited about what's in front of me. So right now I'm like of course. But I'm like what if I. No, you're right. I think you're right.

[C]

I think it's true.

[B]

Yeah, I think you're right.

[C]

Sorry Ash. We love you.

[B]

We have to send a private breakup tech, obviously.

[C]

Or just Ghost.

[A]

Ghost. Yeah.

[B]

Thank you so much for being here.

[A]

Oh my God.

[C]

Do you have anything you want to plug that's coming up or anything you

[A]

want people to check out doing. You can find me at Drew Alfalo and literally everything. I have two shows. I have the comment section with just me and Jordan Kendall. I've both been on the comment section which we loved. We talked about our love of Hobson Shaw on there. So love that. And then I also have one with my sister called 288 girls. I have a book called Loud and yeah, you can find me anywhere. I'm always doing something. Yeah, being annoying. Thank you for having me.

[C]

Thanks so much. Thanks so much fun. And as always, don't forget that this is a completely independent podcast podcast made solely by me and Kendall. And Richie is also here to help financially. He is not contributing at all. We in fact pay him. So don't forget that. So watch like comment, subscribe, join our Patreon and help us keep doing this because I feel like you guys like it.

[B]

And I started recently, I was like, stop. At the end of every episode. Jordan, always. You just always say this journal will go another incredible episode.

[A]

It's true. I killed it yet again.

[C]

It is another incredible episode.

[B]

Another amazing episode.

[C]

It's a beautiful episode.

[B]

Thank you so much and have a happy Monday.

[C]

Bye.

[B]

Bye.

[D]

Bye. Marketing is hard, but I'll tell you a little secret. It doesn't have to be. Let me point something out. You're listening to a podcast right now and it's great. You love the host. You seek it out and download it. You listen to it while driving, working out, cooking, even going to the bathroom. Podcasts are a pretty close companion. And this is a podcast podcast ad. Did I get your attention? You can reach great listeners like yourself with podcast advertising from Libsyn Ads. Choose from hundreds of top podcasts offering host endorsements or run a pre produced ad like this one across thousands of shows. To reach your target audience in their favorite podcasts with Libsyn ads, go to Libsynads.com that's L I B S Y N ads.com today.