Am I The (Seasonal) Asshole?

Summary

Podcast Summary: Happy Wife Happy Life – Episode: Am I The (Seasonal) Asshole?

Hosts: Kendahl Landreth and Jordan Myrick
Release Date: November 18, 2024
Episode Title: Am I The (Seasonal) Asshole?

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In this engaging episode of Happy Wife Happy Life, hosts Kendahl Landreth and Jordan Myrick delve into the often tumultuous dynamics that the holiday season brings to relationships and personal lives. Through a blend of humor, personal anecdotes, and thoughtful discussion, they tackle various holiday-related "Am I the Asshole?" scenarios, providing listeners with insights and perspectives to navigate the festive period with grace and love.

1. The Holiday Pressure Cooker

Kendahl and Jordan kick off the episode by addressing the universal stressors associated with the holidays. Kendahl shares, "You're forcing everyone together who doesn't want to be together... It's a lot." (01:07). They discuss the financial strain, the overwhelming to-do lists, and the heightened emotions that come with family gatherings. Jordan echoes this sentiment, emphasizing the added pressure to make the holidays magical, especially for children.

Notable Quote:

• Kendahl: "Everything feels magic around Christmas time. But I think you're right. With family, there's so much pressure to spend so much money on these people that you don't even like." (03:22).

2. Navigating Family Traditions and Boundaries

The conversation shifts to the challenges of managing family expectations. Kendahl advises setting boundaries, stating, "Telling your parents you're not coming home for Christmas isn't the meanest thing in the world." (04:55). They explore the difficulties of balancing personal desires with familial obligations, especially when traditions feel obligatory rather than joyful.

3. A Long-Awaited Holiday Trip

Amidst the serious discussion, the hosts share their excitement about an upcoming holiday trip to Europe. Kendahl reminisces about the delayed plans due to Jordan's foot surgery, highlighting their anticipation: "I think we've been like... where are we going? And now we're really happening." (07:10). This personal story adds a heartfelt touch to the episode, showcasing their deep bond and shared experiences.

4. Kendahl's Farm Dreams: Balancing City Life with Rural Aspirations

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to Kendahl's passion for farm animals and her dream of owning a small homestead. She elaborates on her vision of a semi-homesteaded life: "I would like to do, like a 5% homestead where I get everything from stores, but then I get, you know, eggs from my ducks." (09:02). Jordan engages in the conversation, offering supportive yet humorous insights into the feasibility and challenges of such a lifestyle.

Notable Quotes:

• Kendahl: "I am obsessed with getting some land and I have a lot of land with animals because I really like taking care of animals." (09:31).
• Jordan: "But you can't own farm animals everywhere." (10:07).

5. Tackling "Am I the Asshole?" Holiday Scenarios

Transitioning into the core segment, Kendahl and Jordan address listener-submitted scenarios inspired by the popular Reddit thread "Am I the Asshole?" focusing on holiday contexts.

a. Not Giving Presents to Those Who've Wronged You

A listener questions whether they're in the wrong for not purchasing gifts for individuals who have hurt them. Kendahl responds firmly, "First of all, I don't think you owe anyone a present." (16:23). Both hosts agree that gifts should be given without obligation, emphasizing that true care doesn't necessitate reciprocation.

Notable Quote:

• Jordan: "If they really hurt you, stop talking to them and stop being friends with them." (19:30).

b. Choosing Between Partner and Family for Holidays

Another scenario involves a dilemma between spending holidays with a partner versus visiting family, especially when one party would otherwise be alone. Kendahl advises prioritizing who needs support more, suggesting, "If your girlfriend would be alone on Christmas if you did, stay with your girlfriend. You’re not the asshole." (27:10).

Notable Quote:

• Jordan: "Don't put a partner in that situation. I would not want to be put in that situation." (22:12).

c. The White Elephant Cookie Exchange Critique

A listener expresses frustration with a white elephant-style cookie exchange plagued by unhealthy, restrictive cookie options. Kendahl empathizes, suggesting, "Maybe we need to get some other people in the mix of this party that are a little more fun." (32:15). Jordan humorously counters by proposing a gourmet twist to the traditional swap.

Notable Quote:

• Jordan: "I disagree. I heard that idea and I say, genius." (34:16).

d. Proposing During the Holidays

A heartfelt scenario involves proposing to a partner on Christmas morning, only to face backlash from social media skeptical of holiday proposals. Kendahl shares her own experience: "When you proposed to me, it was the two of us... it was very sweet." (37:25). This segment highlights the balance between personal joy and external expectations.

Notable Quote:

• Kendahl: "It's about spending time with people. And it's really not about the cookies." (32:15).

e. Overly Controlling Gift Opening Behavior

A unique case discusses someone insisting on announcing the giver before opening each gift, leading to disrupted holiday moments. Both hosts find this behavior contentious, ultimately deciding that while acknowledging givers is thoughtful, overemphasis can be irritating.

Notable Quote:

• Kendahl: "I need present opening to be focused. I cannot have people just ripping crap open and being, like, cool." (40:01).

6. Santa Claus and the Magic of Holiday Traditions

Towards the end of the episode, Kendahl and Jordan reminisce about their childhood experiences with Santa Claus. They discuss the balance between fostering imagination and maintaining honesty with children. Kendahl asserts, "It's so fun because it's fun. I will tell you the second best day of my life. First day when I met you." (49:29), intertwining personal anecdotes with broader reflections on trust and tradition.

Notable Quotes:

• Kendahl: "If your kid doesn't trust you after you tell them Santa isn't real, that's a good thing for you to know." (46:44).
• Jordan: "I like to pretend things are real... The Muppets are people. Miss Piggy, Kermit, Animal. Those are beings." (48:55).

7. Final Thoughts and Holiday Wishes

In wrapping up, Kendahl and Jordan share their holiday plans, including their trip to Europe, and extend warm wishes to their listeners. They encourage followers to engage on social media and participate in their Patreon community, promising exciting content and updates for the upcoming year.

Notable Closing Quote:

• Kendahl: "Enjoy the good conversations you had." (32:15).

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Key Takeaways:

• Communication and Boundaries: Clear communication with family and partners is crucial to alleviate holiday stress and set healthy boundaries.
• Personal Priorities: It's essential to prioritize personal happiness and the well-being of loved ones over societal or familial expectations.
• Gift-Giving Intentions: Gifts should be given out of genuine care rather than obligation, and it's okay to redefine how and to whom you give gifts.
• Maintaining Traditions: Balancing cherished holiday traditions with personal happiness can create more meaningful and less stressful festive experiences.

Recommended for Listeners: If you're navigating the complexities of the holiday season in your relationships, this episode offers relatable scenarios, practical advice, and a touch of humor to help you maintain a happy wife happy life during the most wonderful time of the year.

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For more insights and relationship advice, follow Kendahl and Jordan on Instagram and join their Patreon community for exclusive content and updates.

Transcript

[A]

What's the best time of day to get a deal? All day with Jack in the box's all day big deal meal. You get to choose from four entrees like the supreme croissant and five tasty sides, plus a drink starting at $5. So hurry in or take your time. You've got all day at Jack. Every bite's a big deal. Welcome to Happy Wife, Happy Life. We're your hosts. I'm Kendall Landriff.

[B]

And I'm Jordan Myron.

[A]

And we are two incredibly unqualified but deeply in comedians.

[B]

We're here to help you with all things relationships. And today we're doing Holiday Am I the. If you're not familiar, am I the Asshole? Is a Reddit thread that got started because people would write in and say, am I the asshole for feeling this way or for doing this thing? And then people in the Reddit thread would let you know yes or no. And today we wanted to do some of these specifically related to holidays, relationships, dating. Because the holidays bring out the absolute worst in people somehow.

[A]

Oh, yeah. I mean, I, I don't even think somehow it's like, I. To me, it's so clear. You're forcing everyone together who doesn't want to be together. Family that you haven't seen and never see otherwise, together in one room. You're all spending insane amounts of money. And for a lot of people, that's very stressful. And also you feel like you have just so much to do. Everything's so busy, everyone's so high stress. And also, if you're a parent, you feel this, like, need to make it magical for your children. And it's a lot.

[B]

I understand that. I understand needing to make it magical for your children. That being said, I think the rest of your family. No way.

[A]

I think people. I could not be a parent today and do Christmas when I found out that Elf on the shelf is a daily thing where you have to set up a diorama like situation with this stuffed elf. Stuffed elf. That's hard to say. And make it seem like your elf swung down into the kitchen on toilet paper. Every day you have to do it 30 days. Well, I guess till Christmas, 25 days. I'm like, that is a full time job.

[B]

Yeah. I probably wouldn't do Elf on the Shelf.

[A]

I probably would. I probably would.

[B]

I don't like him.

[A]

Why?

[B]

He's giving. Like he sees you when you're sleeping and I don't like that.

[A]

Well, that's kind of the point is he's kind of like, he's watching you.

[B]

I don't like that.

[A]

But I think people sometimes, if you're a parent out there. This is a new segment I'm starting.

[B]

Called Kendall's Parental Advice.

[A]

Kendall. Kendall's parental advice. She has no kids and she doesn't know what she's talking about. That's the theme song for I love.

[B]

That little sting you made up.

[A]

Thank you. I feel like so much can be magical for kids. You don't have to try. You know what I mean? I feel like you hand them a plastic bag and they're like, I will remember this forever. Especially around Christmas time. Everything feels magic around Christmas time. Anyways, I think you're right. With family, there's so much pressure to spend so much money on these people that you don't even like. Especially when we get into like, oh, it's not a family member, but it's one of my kind of family members. Like an in laws aunt whose cousin's throwing this party. Make sure to get her a huge gift basket.

[B]

I'm like, need to go to that.

[A]

What?

[B]

You don't need to go to that. You don't.

[A]

So it's hard. There's a lot of, like, tradition also around holidays, which I think heightens people's emotions. There's a lot of like, nostalgia, which heightens people's emotions. And there's a lot of like, you know, missing the old. I think there's just a lot. It's a. It's too much.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

When I hear my friends stories around the holidays, it's the craziest stuff I've ever heard.

[B]

How do you think it should be split up in terms of if you're a couple, how do you do holidays?

[A]

Well, I don't even know if I'm one to give advice. I think both our families are pretty. What?

[B]

Yeah. We're probably not ones to give advice in general, but here we are with this podcast.

[A]

I just think on this specific thing, I feel like you and I, we're really lucky. Our parents are very chill. And also we're not coming from families. You know, my family loved Christmas, but some families, it's like Christmases or 60 people coming into town every year, they do the same 60 things and they have all these traditions. They do a family photo together, professional family photo, every. It's like a big thing. So there's a lot of pressure on it. So I don't have experience coming from that family, but I think, you know, just try to be fair and set boundaries with your family. I Think you have to remember that telling your parents you're not coming home for Christmas isn't, like, the craziest thing in the world. I think people are like, this is the meanest thing I could do. And it's like, no, they have to learn that eventually you will have your own children, maybe, and you will want to do as they did and have your own Christmas morning and just remember to have your own boundaries with it.

[B]

It's not even Jesus's real birthday.

[A]

Damn. Because his birthday's in August. I heard.

[B]

Did you hear that? Because your birthday's in August?

[A]

Yeah, a little birdie told me he's a Leo.

[B]

Like, Ken Leo.

[A]

I mean, like, come on. Of course he's a Leo. His dad is the son, right?

[B]

His dad is the son.

[A]

I don't remember.

[B]

What are you talking about?

[A]

I went to Bible school when I was five. So let's just. I'm still. That's what I remember.

[B]

You mean the sun in the sky or the sun.

[A]

Oh, maybe they make. He's the son of God. And that was.

[B]

What did you mean just now?

[A]

I think I was picturing. Let's just move on. Okay, guys? Let's just move on.

[B]

Did you just find out now that Jesus is supposed to be the son of God?

[A]

Right. No, I knew that, but I think I also separately was kind of like, somewhere there in there, the sun is involved.

[B]

You thought Jesus was the sun in the sky, so.

[A]

Right. And you know what? I have other attributes that are very wonderful, but I did maybe think that briefly.

[B]

So you thought he was a literal son in two different ways. A son of a man and the son of the sky.

[A]

Okay. Yeah.

[B]

Do you think Christians worship the sun?

[A]

I don't. Do they? I don't know. I don't know. Now we're mixing science and religion, and I feel scared.

[B]

The sun is science, so I don't.

[A]

Even know if they believe in the sun. I have no idea. Let me ask you before we get into this.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Cause you jumped right in before I even got a chance to ask you how your week was.

[B]

I know, Sorry. I just have a lot of thoughts about holiday time. I have a lot of thoughts about holiday time, and I am excited because we're about to go on a big holiday vacation. So no episode next week because it's the week of Thanksgiving, which we don't care about. But a lot of people have off work. A lot of people are traveling. And we are also traveling. We are going to Europe for two weeks.

[A]

I'm so excited. It's gonna be excited. This feels like. I feel like I'm not even gonna feel like it's real when we're there. Because truly, we've been planning this trip. We. Jordan has been planning this trip, but I've been excited about this trip for two years now. Cause we were supposed to go. I'm sure we've already explained this, but so I'll do it really fast. But we were supposed to go on this trip when we were gonna get engaged, and then Jordan had to have a foot surgery, so we didn't go. And now we're going. And so I think we've been like.

[B]

I couldn't cancel anything. I could only reschedule. They wouldn't let me cancel.

[A]

But I'm glad that. I'm glad for that, because now we get to go. And it. But it feels like this thing I've been anticipating for years where I'm like, well, soon we're gonna go to Berlin and. Right. Yeah. Berlin and Copenhagen. Sorry. Jordan plans it, so I'm like, where are we going? And now it's really happening. So that's really exciting.

[B]

I'm glad you're excited.

[A]

I'm so excited.

[B]

Makes me happy that you're happy.

[A]

Oh, you want to know something exciting going on my week?

[B]

Sure.

[A]

I'm having a lot of fun on my little app. I've been playing a farm game.

[B]

Kendall is obsessed with these games where you farm on your phone or on your switch. I do not understand it.

[A]

It's similar to farmville. If you ever played that on Facebook, it's called Hay Day. It's funny because this is not sponsored, but I did do. That's how I found it is I did a. Like, a branded video.

[B]

Kendall was hired to do a brand deal for this app, so she played it to see if she wanted to do the brand deal. Now she won't stop playing.

[A]

It's. I'm addicted. I'm literally addicted. So I've been playing that, and I've started. You know, I have a lot of pigs. I have cows on there. Chickens. I have sheep. I'm about to get a goat. And I have a horse and two dogs, two cats.

[B]

One thing I need to know from y'all, and you can leave it in the comments, if you own land, if you own farm, like, farm associated animals, what's it like? Do you like it? How hard is it? Could we do it? Because Kendall is obsessed with the concept of getting some lamb.

[A]

I really want to get lamb. Well, you can't give lambs too I'm.

[B]

Actually getting some land.

[A]

I'm obsessed with getting some land. I am, and I'm obsessed with having animals. But what I want to differentiate is I'm not trying to homestead. Like, I'm never. I don't see that in my future, and I'm not interested. I would like to do, like a 5% homestead where I get everything from stores, but then I get, you know, eggs from my ducks. I have cows that of graze and so I don't have to mow the lawn. I compost. And then I. I don't know how this works, but I give it to my pigs in their slop.

[B]

We grow tomatoes.

[A]

We grow tomatoes. You grow food like you grow vegetables, but it's not like all of our. We're not making, you know, butter. I mean, that's not that hard, I guess, but I don't need to do that. We're not making everything, but we have a lot of land. I love the idea of having like 12 dogs, but we're city girls, and I want it to stay that way. But I. I don't want to be like homesteading. I want to have, like the, you know, a city girl life. But then I have a lot of land with animals because I really like taking care of animals.

[B]

But does that exist? Can you have a city girl?

[A]

I know. I don't know. I think so. I. I've looked on Zillow, and there are places where there's a lot of land. What I don't know is the laws in those counties, which is what I would have to look up, even though on, like, a lot of the places on Zillow. First of all, any place in California that's like in Southern California with a lot of land is like $13 million. So we'd have to really save up. But if we were able to do that, there's definitely enough land to have livestock. But I just don't know if in those counties you're allowed to have livestock.

[B]

Sure. Because you can't own farm animals everywhere.

[A]

No, I think you can own a pig. I feel like pigs are weirdly kind of like, allowed a lot of places. Like, you knew a woman in New York that had a pig.

[B]

I don't know if it was legal, but there was a woman that lived in my old neighborhood that owned a pig, and she walk it around. It would tutu and she'd walk it on a leash. I don't know if he was happy. I don't know if it was legal.

[A]

I'm wanting that kind of a situation. But I want my animals to have, I want them to be. I'm not trying to like cram any animal into a small area. I'm trying to like have a big, a lot of land. I would love to have a horse, but I would love for them to be able to, you know, really run around. Some horse owners gonna be like, no, they don't want to do that. I have no idea. I haven't done my research yet. Before I did all this. I would do a lot of research.

[B]

But that starts with you dropping in the chat if you think we could do it.

[A]

Ye. I want to, you know, advocate for myself that first of all, I spend a lot of times with my animals on Hay day, which is my farming app, and I'm really good at taking care of them.

[B]

I can't believe they're not sponsoring this episode more.

[A]

I know. I mean, I do really love the game, so I'm not going to lie. I'm sorry. I'm free. I'll give a free sponsorship if I love it. But what I will say is like, we have a dog and I love taking care of our dog. Like I really find joy in it. Like I love. And I know that's a smaller physically than a horse for sure, but I.

[B]

Understand that a dog is smaller than.

[A]

A horse, that a longer chihuahua is smaller than a horse. But also there's less care. I know that I really just have to feed her and bathe her sometimes. Well, I have to feed her every day and then I have to bathe her sometimes.

[B]

She's a diva though.

[A]

She is a diva. And I love like I buy all the little mix ins for the food Whenever I give her a bath. I don't just give her a bath. I do a shampoo, a deep conditioning treatment, I do a foot treatment, I cut her nails, I blow dry her and I do a conditioner, a spray conditioner after brush her, brush her teeth. Like, I really enjoy taking care of animals. I think it's so fun and like you get to talk to them the whole time. And then I see these videos of people brushing horses and it looks so satisfying. And I think if I volunteer at a horse place, I know well, so. Right. And that's what I think my first step would be Before I ever considered like, I view my, I view getting farm animals as a real long haul thing. Like to me, in like 15 years I could see myself like us really being like, okay, let's think about getting farm animals. I am just like my dad, my mom, if my mom is listening to this, she's gonna be like, oh my God. Because my dad.

[B]

This is so funny because last episode I said something and was like, I have turned into my father.

[A]

You can't help it. You turn into your parents. And my mom would always make fun of my dad because my dad is the biggest city guy. Like he didn't go outside. I don't even have any. I don't have one memory of my dad and I outside together. Like we were always inside. And like he did not. He didn't even. He liked animals fine.

[B]

I mean, your dad's favorite thing to do is DoorDash. Burger King, 100% like city life.

[A]

He's not made for a farm. But he always was like, my dream is to own a farm. My dream is on a farm. And now that's me. Which I think is very funny. But I really think I could do it. But to me it would be like, before I thought about getting a farm, I would first of all take horseback riding lessons. That's more just for fun. But then like volunteer at a horse place and like learn how to take care of, I don't know, a stable. A stable. A stable girl.

[B]

Oh my God.

[A]

I'm gonna get rider's boots, tight pants, high waisted pants. Oh my God. A little hat. Oh my God, I can't. I'm so sad.

[B]

A hat. I don't know what kind of hat.

[A]

Horse hat, little horse ears on it.

[B]

It looks like a horse, makes you look like one of the horses.

[A]

And they think, oh, that's another horse story. She's another horse. Don't kick her in the face. So I would start volunteering there, learn how to take care of horses, maybe, you know, take a class on farm animals. I would do a lot of work to like get prepared for it. What I'm not doing is the food. I have no passion for taking care of food. So that's more your thing.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

But I think that's good. Cause nobody can take care of the food.

[B]

No, you were saying you were gonna feed the horses. What I'm not gonna do is take care of the food for the horses. That is boring.

[A]

They can go to restaurant. They can go to restaurant.

[B]

Cause I'm not doing it. You can tell we're in a goofy food today. Cause our southern accents are alive and well.

[A]

I think it's like my natural accent. Actually. Sometimes I'm like, do I put on a California accent?

[B]

Well, because we both have parents that have southern accents.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Do your parents think they have Southern accents.

[A]

I mean, they know they have Southern accents. So I think it's like, yeah, they wouldn't be like, no, I don't.

[B]

My parents don't think they have Southern accents.

[A]

That's insane.

[B]

I don't think my parents have a Southern accent, but everyone tells me the contrary.

[A]

Well, I don't hear my mom's Southern. I don't hear my dad's Southern. I don't hear it as strong it is. As it is. I, I.

[B]

Your dad's is stronger than your mom's.

[A]

Right. I could hear my dad's Southern accent, but then I wouldn't think of it as really anything. And then when people would meet my dad, they would be like, oh, my God, he sounds like a real deep Southern accent. And I don't hear that. And then my mom. My mom's accent is similar to mine. I feel like will come out.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because she lived in the south her whole life.

[B]

It also comes out more like if you're around people, when she talks on.

[A]

The phone, if she never talked to my Aunt Ramos, she starts, you know, talking like the. Yes. But anyway, so let us know if you think we should own a farm.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then we can throw a big holiday bash on the farm.

[B]

Let's get into the questions.

[A]

Was that a good segue?

[B]

I think it was great. I think you're doing perfect.

[A]

Okay, so now we're going to get to the questions. And if you are like, I want to ask a question. These aren't really questions. These are people sending their Am I the assholes?

[B]

Scenarios.

[A]

Scenarios and that have happened to them. If you're like, I had a great scenario, I would love to send in. This is.

[B]

I want to know if I was the asshole.

[A]

I want to know if I was the asshole. Follow us on Instagram because we, we always post the questions there, and we also post them on our Patreon. We got a lot of fun stuff going on over there.

[B]

And in 2025, our Patreon, we're having some new stuff implemented.

[A]

It's getting a little wild over there.

[B]

Also, we have a lot of new stuff coming in 2025. In general, I am excited because we have some big news coming soon. So everyone just get excited and stay posted.

[A]

It's, like, so annoying for us to. We can't share it yet, but it's coming. It's exciting. It's really exciting.

[B]

Just know that there's new fun stuff coming for you as listeners of this podcast, both on Patreon, but also on everywhere else.

[A]

A Lot of people are saying 2025 is kind of the year of happy life. Happy life.

[B]

That is.

[A]

I saw that listed in multiple articles.

[B]

I saw that listed in a bunch of articles. I saw a billboard that said that.

[A]

And we didn't pay for it. I swear. Okay, what is the first. Am I the asshole?

[B]

Am I the asshole for not getting presents for those who have wronged me?

[A]

No. First of all, I don't think you owe anyone a present. I think the present thing. If you want to give a present, then give a present. But anytime I give a present, I'm excited to give a present. I literally never think about someone giving me a present in return. I have a hot take. I'm not one to usually give a hot take. I think if your love language is gifts, something's wrong with you.

[B]

Okay, I. I understand giving or receiving.

[A]

Receiving. I think if your thing is like, I need big gifts, I need gifts. I guess I understand. I get. If you're like, it makes me feel really cared about when someone sees something that reminds me of them and gets it from me. That makes me feel cared about. Makes me feel cared about, too, when I receive one. But to be like, I expect you, if you love me, to get me a gift, it feels a little weird to me. Do you know what I mean?

[B]

Yes. It feels funny that it's on the same level of, like, time spent and words of affirmation.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And gifts. Like, it feels to me, it feels a little. I understand people liking it. I really like giving gifts.

[A]

Me too.

[B]

And I like receiving a gift from someone that I like or someone who seems excited to give me a gift. But I think to be like, between spending time together and gifts, I guess I'm going to have to go with gifts. Feels interesting to me.

[A]

And maybe I'm saying this because we were just watching Love is Blind and there was a girl on there who was like, well, I need a fancy purse. And he was like, well, what's a fancy purse? What did you say? He was like, kate Spade. And she goes, please never get me a Kate Spade. And I was like this. And she said, my love language is gift giving. And I guess to me, if your love language is gift giving, and you're like, I love a handmade gift or something that you spent time. That I guess makes sense to me. But if you're like, my love language is gifts, gift giving, and I want luxury items, I think something is wrong. I think you're, like, using love languages to be kind of really weird and mean and materialistic and then she said, she's like, I don't want to be materialistic. But I'm like, you are. You are.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You want a Louis Vuitton purse? This man didn't even know what Louis Vuitton was. He said he was like, what's Louis Vuitton?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I'm like, Instead of, like, spending time anyways, whatever.

[B]

They weren't a good couple, and he wasn't good. We haven't finished the season.

[A]

I know we haven't finished it, so maybe there's.

[B]

Sorry.

[A]

I'm not saying she's that person. I just think it's, like, a lot to be like, I expect big gifts. Anyways. My point is, during the holidays, I'm like, I love to give a gift, but I never expect anyone to give me a gift. And I never give a gift with thinking, thinking that person is going to give me something, because oftentimes it is just something reminds me of them. So sometimes, like, there'll be someone I'm pretty close to that, like, I don't get a gift because I didn't see anything. But randomly, there's this person I met three times, and I'm like, oh, my God, I saw the perfect thing for you and I got this for you. I am absolutely not expecting you to get me something.

[B]

Yeah. Why are you even friends with somebody that's wronged you? Why are they still in your sphere? Don't just get rid of them. If they really. They really wronged you, go stop talking to them.

[A]

I really can say that we don't have a single friend that we don't like. And I know that sounds, like, obvious, but I really. I think I'm coming to find that a lot of people have many friends they do not like. And I find that to be truly bizarre.

[B]

Yeah, couldn't be me.

[A]

Um, but no, you're not the asshole.

[B]

Yeah. Don't get them a gift and stop spending time with them and stop talking to them. And I don't care if it's like, if they really wronged you. If they really actually wronged you. So if the thing is valid, like.

[A]

A friend smacked your car's face, sure.

[B]

That could be one of them. But if someone really, like, hurt you, stop talking to them, stop being friends with them. Why would you also get them a gift? That's wild to me.

[A]

But I also think it's like, we put the stress of holidays on ourselves. And I. I have. I know people in my life where it's like, they, you know, are stressed about Money. And they're still like, well, I have to get every person I've ever, ever met a really nice present. And I'm like, you really don't. If that stresses you out, that's not a gift to anyone.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

If people really care about you, they don't want you to stress like that. And nobody's. Unless they are in which I wouldn't hang out with them if they're giving you a gift in hopes that you give them something in return. That feels weird to me. That feels weird to me. So I think just try to be like, how can I enjoy the holidays for myself? How can I enjoy this experience? And what about the holidays is really stressing me out? And then remember everything you're listing is actually optional and you actually don't have to do it.

[B]

Yes, I agree.

[A]

Cause I feel like the holidays will be like a woman literally being like, I am just like, I need to go to the hospital. I'm so stressed. And I'm like, what's going on? She's like, well, I need to make homemade cookies and I need to make a wreath for the part. And I'm like, all of this is the most, like, random, like you absolutely unnecessary stuff. You don't have to do it.

[B]

Yeah. I also see a lot of couples where, like, let's say it's, you know, it's two people. One of them is like, we have to go see my family for Christmas. And they're like, but my family is like, really racist and homophobic. And like, you're a gay couple and like, your partner is black. I'm like, don't do that. Don't do that to your partner. That's my personal opinion. People will disagree with me. That's. That's their business. For me, I would not put a partner in that situation. I would not want to be put in that situation. You don't have to see your family. And some people will say, that's a privileged take. And I understand that. I understand that all cultures are different. Not everyone is the same. For me, why would you be nice to someone if they are not nice to you? And I think that includes your family.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

If they are not nice to you, if they are not kind to you, if they are hateful towards you, I just am not going to spend time with them. That's speaking from personal experience. There's a lot of my family that I do not associate with at all. Does it sometimes feel like a bummer that I don't have a bigger family? Yeah. Is it Worth me spending time with people who actively do not treat me kindly or actively think that I am bad and wrong in so many ways for, like, the fact that I'm gay or whatever. No, that's not worth it to me.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I agree with Kendall, you know, saying a lot of holiday stuff is made up. It's like, don't put that pressure on yourself. I know so many people are dreading going home from the holidays because of the election. For me, I'm just like, hey, if you don't have to go home, don't go home. Take yourself on a vacation instead.

[A]

A lot of parents, I think, can be a bit toxic about. And this is why I hesitated to say I should give advice on this, because I think our parents are absolutely not toxic in this way. But I hear. I think a lot of people's parents can make them feel like coming home from the holidays is such an obligation. It is so blasphemous that you wouldn't come home for the holidays. It is so mean, and it is bizarre. And how could you even do it? Because everyone comes home for the holidays. A lot of people don't go home for the holidays. It's actually really normal. And I think, you know, if you love doing it, that's awesome. But I love going home for the holidays. I absolutely love doing it. I still don't do it every year because we are busy adults that have a lot to do.

[B]

And it's also expensive to travel during the holidays. I'm like, especially if your family is not paying for you to travel. If you can't afford to travel, they should not guilt you for that.

[A]

And you have to, like, set. But I'm. Yeah. To say that. I'm like, if I had the choice, I'd always go home for. I love going. And we're going this year, and I'm so excited. I love to go home for the holidays, but even I have not spent every Christmas at home because, yeah, we're like, we are building. We have our own life, too. And every. You know, and I think with some people's parents, sometimes I'll be like, well, how many times have they visited you? And they're like, literally never. And I'm like, that. Yeah, that's like a. That's a standard that's been set that they can guilt you. I was talking to someone a while ago. I can't remember, but they were like, my parents are always like, you never visit enough. And I. They were like, and I visit five times a year, and they Lived across the country from their parents. I was like, that is unacceptable.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Someone needs to tell your parents that they need to zip it, because that's absolutely wild. So I think sometimes the fir. The first cut is the deepest. But that first time being like, I'm not coming home for Christmas this year because I'm too busy and I want to stay in my house with my partner might suck and there might be drama, but you've just set a precedent for the rest of your life that you decide what you do. And you also love them very much.

[B]

Yeah, I think the reciprocation thing is big because I realized a couple years ago that some of the relatives that I call, check on, care about never called me.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Never checked on me.

[A]

And what do they always say when they. You call them?

[B]

Oh, you never call. You've literally never called me once. And it made me kind of realize we're all adults. If we're all adults, I do believe the phone works both ways. If we're all competent, capable adults, why am I supposed to call you all the time? Why would you never call me? Why would you never check in on me? Why would you? You know, so I'm just like, I think family is what you make of it, and I think my parents practice that. So I also think I'm, you know, I've been grandfathered into that belief system, but I have so many people that I'm not literally related to that are my family so much more than people that I am actually related to.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's my personal experience. So. And that might not work for everybody.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You might say that's not how my culture does it. That's not. I don't believe in that. That's great. I respect you and whatever you do, but if you're sitting there being like, I really want to cut out some of my family, but I am scared, and I don't know if it is okay. If it will be okay from someone who has done it. It's okay. And you'll be okay, and your life will be better. You will feel more valid by surrounding yourself with people that genuinely care about you. It'll make your life so much better. So I encourage you to do that. If it's something you're considering.

[A]

I love that.

[B]

This next. Am I the. My partner and I have been together for three years. We live together in a town that.

[A]

Is, you should say, in a tent.

[B]

We live together in a tent.

[A]

Help us.

[B]

My partner and I have been together for three years. We live together in a Town that is three to four hours away from both our families. She can't get time off from her job to travel home for Christmas. So I was going to stay at our apartment and spend the holiday with her. My family is going to be upset with me for not coming home to see them for the holidays, but my girlfriend would be alone on Christmas if I did. Am I the asshole?

[A]

No, no. I mean, we're just. Now we're parroting what we just said, but it's like. I mean, do what you want to do. So it's like if you're like, I really want to go home, your girlfriend will be fine for Christmas. If you want to stay with your girlfriend, do that. It's what you want to do. And if your family will be mad at that, it's okay because they won't be mad forever. And if they're mad forever, that's wild.

[B]

I'm also kind of like, prioritize. Who needs it more? If you have a single mom who never gets time off and she's single right now because your dad passed away last year and this will be her first Christmas alone and she really needs you. Yeah. Maybe go home. Maybe. Maybe it's time to go home and your girlfriend will understand. If your parents have a million other kids and you're just going and they're basically already kind of having a party, and if you don't stay with your girlfriend, your girlfriend will be alone. Stay with your girlfriend. You know, I'm kind of like, who needs it more? I think if you take. Even if you take yourself out of the situation because you're like, I can't decide what I want to do. I think go with whoever needs it more. But I think either way, you're not the asshole.

[A]

Yeah, I think that's. People put so much pressure once again on Christmas where it's like. Or any holiday, I feel like any holiday, honestly, where it's like, well. But then she'll be alone. And this is not even at your girlfriend. This is either your girlfriend or your parents. They'll be alone and it's like, they're okay.

[B]

Actually sounds kind of nice to spend Christmas alone.

[A]

I'd give anything.

[B]

Do you know what I mean? Like, I love you and I would spend every second with you if I could. But if you were like, I'm gonna go do Christmas with my mom and I had to stay in la cause I like booked something or whatever. Christmas Day, I would doordash Chinese food. I'd watch Nightmare Before Christmas. I'd put A million blankets on the couch. I'd turn the AC down to 64 degrees.

[A]

Santa hat on.

[B]

Angel put a Santa hat on the dog. And I would just relax. Like that is nice. There's nothing wrong with that.

[A]

Yeah, totally. So I think it's like you're not deciding the fate of two people, you're deciding whether or not you're going to be present for Christmas Day. It's really okay. But I think people can make you feel like not coming home for Christmas, not coming home for the holidays. And it's really not that big of a deal.

[B]

Yeah. The likelihood of you being able to come home for the holidays, for every single holiday for the rest of forever is very, very unlikely.

[A]

Well, because what's the plan? What's the plan? You're gonna do it forever? And I think I always, I. I will ask people who are like, well, my parents are really insane about me coming home for the holidays. And I'm like, when you were a kid, what were holidays like? And it's like, well, we'd wake up and we would open presents and then we would hang out at the house all day. And I'm like, great. So your parents didn't go see their parents for the holidays.

[B]

They stayed is what I mean.

[A]

In their home with their husband and their children. And for some reason, because you don't have kids, it's not being valued. Or sometimes you do have kids and they're still like, you need to come visit me. And it's like, at a certain point you gotta cut the umbilical cord. And I don't even mean from you, I mean like your mom. I know it's the same, but your mom is a. You need to cut as if your mom's a baby. You gotta cut the umbilical cord.

[B]

Treat your mom like a baby.

[A]

Treat your mom like a baby. Say no more.

[B]

They can come to you. I said the phone works both ways. Planes work both ways. Yeah, they can come visit you. I think that's great. I think everyone should be doing what makes them happy. And that happiness has to be found within.

[A]

Ooh, I love that.

[B]

I got a nice little long one here.

[A]

Here we go.

[B]

I have been invited to a white elephant style cookie exchange every year since moving to Los Angeles with some transplants who don't travel back to their hometowns for the holidays. However, because it's Los Angeles and I work in the entertainment industry, everyone always brings these God awful cookies with no sugar or gluten. If it was a genuine health concern, that'd be one thing, but it very clearly is people who are terrified of gaining weight. I always bring buttery, sugary, delicious, Midwest family recipe cookies. And they're always a hit that people fight over. So whoever wins my cookies is usually the happiest. Meanwhile, my only option is to go home with a box full of cookies that taste like the feeling of saying, bah humbug. I love hanging out with friends for the holidays and I love how excited my cookies make all of them. I'm thinking this year that I'm just going to gift people cookies and bail on the party because I would rather have a stocking full of coal than feign appreciation for winning another zero sugar snickerdoodle. I'll begrudgingly eat on a Christmas morning because I refuse to eat food. Would I be the asshole if I build on the party this year?

[A]

That is really funny. I. Well, I must say, as two people who throw a cookie swap, we did not have that experience. We had a couple people do it. They brought some like gluten free, dairy free. And they were not gluten free or dairy free. They just bring these cookies and you're like, what? But a lot of people brought some really good ones. So my instinct is to be kind of like, maybe we need to get some other people in the mix of this party that are a little more fun. But I also think now this would be. It would be one thing if you're really triggered by this. If, like you have had a bad relationship with food and going to this party feels just like, really? I get that.

[B]

Yeah. If it feels like eating disorder central and you're like, I can't be here.

[A]

I can't be there, stop going for sure. But if you're not feeling that way and you just feel general annoyance about receiving, about you having to work hard on these cookies that are so good and you receiving the cookies that are bad, I think you just have to remember it's about spending time with people. And it's really not about the cookies. It's about the friends made along the way. And the cookies are just a catalyst for the friendship. Now if you don't want to be friends with people who make disgusting cookies, I think you need to get on the party. And I do, I get that. And I do find it overwhelming going to a party with only people that are like that. But if that's not bothering you, it's just the fact that you have to go home with these lame cookies, throw them in the trash, and just remember the good conversations you Had.

[B]

Do not take the cookies home. If you like the party, go to the party and then be like, so much fun. Actually try not to eat cookies in the house right now or whatever little excuse you need to make.

[A]

I love that.

[B]

And just don't take the cookies home.

[A]

Yes. Also make yourself a second batch of your cookies. Leave them at the house, and then you come home to those and then pretend you won those. I also think it feels really weird for this group of people to throw a cookie swap. Cause it feels like they're trying to do something fun, but they absolutely cannot eat a cookie without freaking out. But they still have been like, we have to throw a cookie party because that's what we do. It's like, throw a different party. Also, like, white elephant with cookies doesn't feel as fun to me.

[B]

Wow. I disagree. I heard that idea and I say, genius. I want to do it. Because what I hate about white elephant is that one person gets an iPad and one person gets single ply toilet paper. And I do not like that. It feels mean spirited. It feels bad, it feels weird, it feels awkward. I hate white elephant and things of that nature. But if it was a cookie, White elephant, they're all just flavors of cookie.

[A]

Well, but I don't think I'd be as engaged. I think I. I think what's so fun about white elephant is you're like, what is gonna come out of that bag? What are they gonna get? Like, that feels fun to me. I also don't think I would be as passionate about the swapping unless I was at a party like this. Because I would just be like, well, I cookie, I want. I don't really need whatever.

[B]

But they're homemade.

[A]

But I also think at a good white. That's true. I think at a good white elephant, you're supposed to have a. You're supposed to have a. You're supposed to have a cap on how much you can spend. What I will say, I think white elephant is something that becomes less fun when people are. Here's what I'll say.

[B]

Say it.

[A]

I've been to white elephant parties with a bunch of college students. When I was in, you know, back in school, I would go to white Elephants and it felt bad because we were all struggling financially. So it really was important what you got to take home. And even though we were all trying to be mature, there were feelings of like, someone would get a $25. Like a $25 gift card, and we would all really not want it, but need it. And someone would get Toilet paper. And there was a lot of anxiety with the switching. Then I went home with a friend for the holidays. When you're, you know, it was, you know, a little bit wealthier group of adults, but also adults in general. They were like in their 40s and 50s, and they all had. Had had the same job since they were 20, and they all were well off. That was a very fun one because it just didn't matter. So then when someone got toilet paper, it was funny because they already already had iPads. You know what I mean? More fun vibe. That advice didn't really help, but I just like, if you're planning a white elephant, I find that one more fun.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Because sometimes. One time I did white elephant, I got a. A flower pot that had a little girl in a boat in it. I thought that was so fun.

[B]

I don't like that. Kendall, I want to know, do you have a holiday? Am I the asshole that you want to propose?

[A]

Ooh. Oh, man. I have to, like, think through who I know that listens to this podcast. You know what I mean?

[B]

You want to say something bad about somebody?

[A]

No, no. Just like, I'm trying to think of moments or it would be a past moment. I was maybe was or was not an asshole or something I could think of.

[B]

Now I have one.

[A]

Okay, let's hear it.

[B]

Well, I want to know, am I the asshole? Because I proposed last Christmas morning, and that morning I woke up, you're still asleep. I'm nervous about proposing. Not nervous. I'm excited, you know, like nervous excitement. I open my phone, the first, like, eight videos on my TikTok. You seem nervous.

[A]

No, I'm just listening.

[B]

Are you scared I'm gonna be like, am I the. For proposing to Kendall?

[A]

No, I assume that's the question.

[B]

The first, like five videos on my tick tock are like, if I ever got proposed to on a holiday, I would say no, because that is ridiculous, disgusting behavior.

[A]

You're not an.

[B]

And I was like, is this a thing? Are you not supposed to propose on a holiday?

[A]

I would understand. I wouldn't understand. I would still not be bothered by this. In fact, I think this sounds kind of nice. But I can understand if you are a person who's imagined your proposal your entire life, and you've imagined the day of the engagement that you wake up on Christmas morning, all your cousins are there, every aunt you've ever had is there, all your uncles in laws are there, all the kids are opening presents. It's all about the children. They're opening everything and then you get proposed to. It takes away from your day a little bit. When you proposed to me, it was the two of us. It was very sweet. I didn't respond well. I was very scared and I was.

[B]

You were scared?

[A]

I was scared. I've told you this. I was scared that I was gonna mess up that.

[B]

Oh, you were scared that I wasn't actually proposing?

[A]

Yes, I was scared that. I don't know, you go to. Obviously when I say it out loud, it sounds insane, but I opened the box and Jordan and I had picked out our engagement rings together. So I knew. I, like, knew this was my engagement ring, but I was worried I was gonna be like, yes. And you're gonna be like, oh, I'm not proposing. This is just the ring. Which, yeah, that's nuts. But at 7am I was thought that. And I have insecurities. Okay. I maybe was like, what if you don't wanna marry me? I was, you know, I was nervous, but so I responded a bit bizarrely. But we were by ourselves and then we went to Palm Springs together. I mean, that is so special and wonderful and I adore Christmas Day, so it's always something I'll fondly look back on. But I think when people are saying that, they mean, like, I don't want anything to take away from my day kind of person. And I just don't really care about that.

[B]

I was just shocked. I did it because you. Well, I was going to do it. I was going to take you to Europe because you love Christmas.

[A]

I love it.

[B]

I was going to take you to Europe, take you to an old timey Christmasy theme park in Copenhagen. Propose to you there. But we are on one of the rides.

[A]

We are going to go there, right?

[B]

We are going to go there.

[A]

So maybe I give you a little speech. Maybe I propose to you.

[B]

Okay, we're already engaged.

[A]

I know, but I'll have to take. I'll take your ring back and do a little speech for you.

[B]

All right. That's a real comedy of errors. You drop it into some kind of grate and then we're. Yeah, that's what I'm imagining.

[A]

Oh, God, you're right. Okay, what if I win a little ring from, like, a game that's fun. And then I propose?

[B]

I think that's fun.

[A]

Is it sweet that I'm planning it out and explaining it all to you?

[B]

I think that's great. But I was like, I'll take and we'll have this fun Christmas proposal. But then I had to have surgery on both my feet. So I just proposed to you at home, but you love Christmas, so I thought this could be a fun thing. Now every time it's the Christmas season, you think about our engagement.

[A]

I know. I think it's so sweet.

[B]

But people, I could not believe how. And of course, like, you know, you. It's like you hear things or have thoughts, and then your phone absorbs them and then it shows you worst case scenario. So it was just like, a bunch of people. People I follow, people that I think are cool being like, here, my list of yeses and no's for my engagement. If you ever propose to me on a holiday, I will dump you. I was like, should I wait until tomorrow?

[A]

I have an. Am I the asshole?

[B]

Let me hear it.

[A]

Am I the asshole that every single time I gift someone a present and they're opening it, I have to say, this is from me eight times.

[B]

Yes, you are the asshole.

[A]

You go, by the way, this is for me. I need people to know. But it's not even just me. I need people to know who. Because I'll also go, this is from Jordan. This is from Colin. I do it with everybody. I need present opening to be focused. I cannot have people just ripping crap open and being, like, cool. It's like, I need it to be a connected moment between the two people, the gift giver and the gift receiver. And I need them to know before they open it because the wrapping is part of it, too. I put a lot of time into my wrapping. I need to know. This is not. I don't want you to open it and then go, who is this from? I need you to be opening it going, this is from Kendall. And I know it. I can hear it being so annoying when it happens. Birthdays, Christmas, it's always me in the corner going, that's from Andrew. And then this is for me. This one's for me. Hey, this is for me.

[B]

I like it. I think it's cute, and I like it, and I think it's useful. But I do think you're also an asshole.

[A]

But it's not just for me. I just want everyone to know. I don't like chaotic gift opening. It really annoys me. It irritates me. It makes me be like, you ungrateful little bitches.

[B]

I guess maybe it's a little controlling, sure.

[A]

But I think maybe not. Because I don't find myself to be very controlling. But I think it's disrespectful.

[B]

It's so funny to be like, I do controlling things. But I don't see myself as controlling, so that means I'm not.

[A]

I just find it to be rude to open a gift without. But I also. If I'm opening a present, I hate when people aren't looking at me, which I think is normal. You're opening a present. So if I'm opening a present and then everyone's, like, gabbing, I will go, this one's from Colin. This one's from Jordan. Cause I'm like, focus up, you guys.

[B]

Sometimes you'll even go, okay, present time. That's a big one. You say focus. Okay, present time. Time for presents. Present time.

[A]

Focus. I'm like, focus up, you guys. Someone spent time picking this out for me. Watch me open it.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Okay. We've decided I am the asshole.

[B]

Only a little bit. And I think it's fun. I think it's fun. Asshole.

[A]

Someone needs to keep things going on holidays or it will be canceled. When I see families where the kids run down and just rip open the presents, I'm like, you are raising bad people. Wow. I'm just kidding. Not bad people, but you're raising kids who don't think they need to thank anyone. They don't. They're not acknowledging the time that went into the wrapping. They're not patient to watch their other siblings open their presents and be happy for them. I find it deeply upsetting and problematic.

[B]

I don't feel like I've ever really experienced this.

[A]

I've seen it. I've seen it online. Jordan.

[B]

To me, it feels like growing up, opening presents was a performance.

[A]

Well, there was one of you, so that feels like it was just actually kind of rude for you to act like I'm being so crazy for having people watch me. But you always had people watching you because it was just you.

[B]

It makes sense why you would have done it when you were younger. But it's still funny to do it now when it's like, you and me in our house with, like, Charles, our roommate, and you're like, present time. Present time. Look at me. I'm like, there's two of us, and we are already looking at you.

[A]

But if you're not, I have to say, you guys, please. Also, it's funny. I'll do it with you and Charles if I just get a delivery. Present time. No, I don't think present time. But if I've ordered myself something and then I'm like, ooh, I got something in the mail. Everybody, look. Everybody look. I love for people to see me open something.

[B]

It's such A funny desire.

[A]

I also think, you know, to me, so much time goes in, and I have not experienced this, but parents take so much time planning and buying and wrapping the presents. And when I was growing up, it was like we would each. We would pass out a present to each person. We would go around, and each person would open it.

[B]

We did that, too.

[A]

And then you pass it out again. And then each person would open it. You would watch each person open it, and it makes it. We would be opening presents even if we didn't have that many. We'd be opening presents for at least an hour and a half, sometimes three hours. Cause we're taking so much time. We're taking a photo of each person with each one. We're talking about, oh, how I found this one. I was. You know, and it's. We would.

[B]

Do you have to show it?

[A]

Show it, show it.

[B]

Which is, once again, very funny, because my family's just me and my parents.

[A]

Yeah, they bought it. Now you've seen it. Yeah. But it'd be like, oh, where did you find it? Why did you think I would. I thought you'd like it. It's so fun. Versus, like, I've seen. Some parents were like, I'm like, this took them all. This took them two months. And their kids have just. Or some parents. Don't rap.

[B]

My parents occasionally would not wrap a couple things.

[A]

Big items.

[B]

Well, this was my family.

[A]

My pogo stick or something.

[B]

Maybe not wrapped gifts were from my parents. Unwrapped gifts were from Santa.

[A]

She said, santa's lazy.

[B]

She said, Santa can't do half the things I can do, is what my mom said. But, yeah, the gifts from Santa were just kind of, like, out. And then gifts from my parents were wrapped.

[A]

Can I ask you something?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I've heard a lot of people my age disagree about this. Would you tell your kids Santa existence?

[B]

I would. And I know it's controversial. Once again, you live your best life for me as an adult. Looking back, I say, I had so much fun doing Santa. My parents would leave little white strands of hair to pretend it was Santa's beard hair. So I could really be like, oh, it was fun. It was fun and good. It'd be like a little beard hair right next to the plate of cookies. It would be good.

[A]

Where did they get. Is it your dad?

[B]

I think my mom would cut a little hair off a wig.

[A]

It was definitely your dad's hair.

[B]

She'd say, will, my dad's hair's too strange. My dad's hair is too Strange, curly.

[A]

That's disgusting. I think it's cute, he said. And then they leave a little reindeer shit in the hallway.

[B]

Kendall, you're disgusting. Don't ruin this beautiful thing.

[A]

It would just be, like, a little.

[B]

Curly lock of hair. It would be cute. And they would leave, like, crumbs on the plate from the cookies and whatever, and very much make it seem, ooh, Santa was here. So for me, I'm like, those experiences were so fun. I had so much fun with them. Then when I found out Santa wasn't real, my mom was just kind of like, oh, yeah, that's just like, a fun thing that people do with their kids. It's part of your imagination. It's fun. And you don't get to do it when you're older, so you get to do it when you're younger.

[A]

Right?

[B]

And I was kind of like, okay. And for like, two seconds, I was like, how could you? And then I immediately forgot about it and, like, moved on to the next thing.

[A]

It's so fun. I would definitely tell my kids there was a Santa. I think it's so fun. And I also find. I feel like the main argument I hear is people are like, I don't want to lie to my kid because I need my kid to know that they can trust me, and I'm not lying to them. And I'm like, if your kid doesn't trust you after you tell them Santa isn't real, that's a good thing for you to know. Something might be off with your kid.

[B]

You know what I mean? Like, long term, if they don't trust you. Yes.

[A]

They're that untrustworthy. That means you don't blame this on Santa. You've been untrustworthy with other stuff. I never thought to not trust my mom. I mean, I found out Santa was not real very early.

[B]

Because you have older siblings.

[A]

No. Oh, I just guessed it. I swear. My mom. It was actually, I think I've told you this, but there was a year where mom let me know if I'm telling this story completely wrong, because this is from my memory.

[B]

My mom, that's the hardest thing about getting older, she'll tell these stories, and then your parents will be like, that does. That did not happen.

[A]

That did not happen. I'm like, I've told this to hundreds.

[B]

Yeah. You're like, okay.

[A]

And why do I remember it? Like, I don't know. But this is how I remember it. I'm pretty sure how my mom just told it, but I wanted this. If I remember correctly, this, like, it was like a tree house, wooden doll set that had, like, wooden people in it. Whatever. Sold out supposedly.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

So my mom, Very fun. Makes, like a letter from the elves. And it was like typed out and it was like, kendall, we're so sorry. We in the. You know, we ran out of paint this year, so we weren't able to make this for you. But we're gonna make it soon and send it your way the second a new shipment comes into paint. Like, it's very cute. And I was like, four. Three or four. And I went up to my mom and I was like, hey. I was very level headed as a kid. I was like, hey, Santa just, like, wouldn't run out of paint. That's, like, not how the workshop really works. Sure. So I just don't think maybe he's real. And she was like, yeah, he's not real. And then. But then I wish. I honestly, I wish I thought Santa was real longer. And I even remember thinking that as a kid, because then I went to school and my mom was very like, you cannot tell any children that Santa's not real. And I was always bummed. You know, we'd write letters to Santa in class and everyone's so excited. And I was like, oh, my God, this is so fun.

[B]

It's fun. I'm also, even as an adult, I'm like, I like to pretend things are real. You cannot tell me the Muppets are puppets. The Muppets are people. Miss Piggy, Kermit, Animal. Those are beings.

[A]

I don't like the look in your eyes. You talk about this, you get a weird glisten in your eyes, but do.

[B]

You know what I mean? I'm like, it's fun. Imagination to have fun. It's fun to have imagination. And if you're honest with your kids about everything and you're upfront with your kids and you pretend Santa is real, sometimes in my mind I'm still like, santa is real. Santa is a man at the North Pole. I know it's not real, but in my mind, I still picture Santa in the North Pole.

[A]

Yes, it's fun because it's fun. I will tell you the second best day of my life. First day when I met you.

[B]

The best day of your life was.

[A]

Meeting you, maybe proposing. I've had a lot of good days with you, is what I'll say. Okay, second one. When I would walk into my damn classroom in elementary school and my teacher would have messed everything up and there was green glitter everywhere. And she would say, a Leprechaun broke into the classroom, I would lose it all. The kids would be like, oh, my God. Like, we are freaking out. It's the most exciting thing ever. What even does that mean? A leprechaun broke into the classic. Is that offensive? I don't even know.

[B]

And like, why, like, why did he have going on? Like, and he didn't steal anything.

[A]

He just messed everything up. Like, it was so exciting.

[B]

Yeah, I'm just like, let's just have fun. And Santa Claus was a real person at one point, right? St. Nicholas. Wasn't that a real person? Maybe not. Maybe just, I don't know. Was Krampus a real person? I don't know. None of it matters.

[A]

Well, and then I've heard some people say, well, it's scary to kids. It's scary to kids because the kids think a man is breaking their house. And I'm like, once again, good thing for you to know your kid maybe needs to get it together.

[B]

I even me, I have generalized anxiety disorder and have always been very anxious. I did not think a man was breaking into my home. I didn't even think about that. I didn't even know what break ins were. So I'm like, yeah, maybe if your house has been broken into like a bunch of times and that's triggering to your kid, maybe just put the presents outside. Be like, santa leaves the presents outside. Santa leaves the presents outside. And that's. Santa puts the presents in the car and you leave all the presents in the trunk of the car. I think there's a lot of ways to get around it, and I think that's fine. But I was always just like, santa is a friend. He's not a random man. Yeah, Santa. Santa has a job. That would be like if the mailman was delivering mail to my house and I was like, I'm scared. He's breaking into my mailbox. No, that's the mailman. That's his job.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Well, we solved it. Have a great holiday season. Like we said, we are off now, next week. We hope you do something good.

[A]

But follow us on Instagram because we're gonna be posting so much fun stuff. I mean, we're gonna be going all over Europe, kissing.

[B]

Calling a bunch of perverts to follow us. Well, we'll be kissing all over Europe.

[A]

Pictured us in the snow. I'm just so excited. I'm so, so excited. So follow us on Instagram for some cute pictures and stories and all the food we're gonna eat. Oh, my God, we have so much good food.

[B]

Take care of yourself this holiday season. If you spend, I hope it's enjoyable. If you spend time by yourself, I hope it's enjoyable. And consider donating to some kind of charity, whether it's within your own community. An indigenous and native related charity. Whoa.

[A]

There we go.

[B]

Lots of good things you could do for a holiday. That is bad, right?

[A]

Yeah, 100%.

[B]

Just eat a bunch of potatoes and donate $150 to a native charity. That's what I think you should do this week.

[A]

I love that. I think that's wonderful. That's what I think you should do this week. Yeah. Enjoy your week. Weather's finally cooling down, at least in Los Angeles, although it's pretty hot today. Don't look at me like that. We're recording Spotify Studios. Enjoy my radio host, Outro Jordan. It's really getting some stuff we need to get to.

[B]

We're recording in the Spotify studios, which we always record in. We absolutely love them. You can find this podcast here on YouTube or anywhere else you get your podcast. You can also join us on Patreon. You get ad free episodes. You get get free monthly episodes. We're also implementing a lot of fun stuff in 2025, as we said. And like comment, subscribe, rate us. Live your best life.

[A]

Woohoo.

[B]

We'll see you in December. Bye.