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Jordan Myrick
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Kendall Landrus
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Jordan Myrick
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Kendall Landrus
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Jordan Myrick
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Kendall Landrus
Give your gut health some support with.
Jordan Myrick
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Kendall Landrus
Do wellness on your terms. Find Ollie at a Walmart or Target near you or@ollie.com. these statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration.
Jordan Myrick
This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.
Kevin McDonald
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Jordan Myrick
Welcome to Happy Wife, Happy Life.
Kendall Landrus
We're your hosts. I'm Kendall Landrus.
Jordan Myrick
And I'm Jordan Myrick.
Kendall Landrus
And we are two incredibly unqualified but.
Jordan Myrick
Deeply in love comedians who are here to help you with all things relationships. And on today's episode, we are talking toxic masculinity with Kevin McDonald.
Kevin McDonald
Hi, guys.
Jordan Myrick
Kevin, thank you so much for being here.
Kevin McDonald
Oh, my gosh. Thank you so much for having me.
Jordan Myrick
We're so happy to have you. I know you as the song sexy mailman from Monet's show on Dropout. Monet's slumber party.
Kevin McDonald
For sure. For sure.
Kendall Landrus
And you truly were a star in that.
Jordan Myrick
Because we were taken aback when we saw the premiere.
Kendall Landrus
We were taken aback, truly, when you walked in. We're lesbians. I grabbed Jordan's wrist and was like, damn.
Jordan Myrick
We said, who is that?
Kevin McDonald
I have two thoughts. I have two thoughts to that. First of all, I. The amount of, like, street cred I got from doing that show is insurmountable. Like, Like, I got to hang in a room, say nothing with some funny comedians, let them do their work. And then people come to me and be like, you were great. I'm like, thank you. I know it's part of the family, but also, I. I was listening to your episode with Cameron Esposito, and y'all were talking about, what was it like? Just, like, the. Like, the masculine presence of a man despite being a lesbian.
Kendall Landrus
Yeah.
Kevin McDonald
And for the longest time, I was like, a lesbian. Compliment is the best compliment because what else do they have that they could possibly be interested in me?
Kendall Landrus
Yeah.
Kevin McDonald
Like, what do I have to offer a lesbian? Nothing. But now I'm like, oh, you know what?
Kendall Landrus
Maybe you could lift me over there.
Kevin McDonald
Maybe they're still, you know.
Kendall Landrus
Do you think with the right kind.
Jordan Myrick
Of stretch and I'm sure, yeah, no, I. I still think it's a devastating.
Kendall Landrus
I should not have asked that question. It could really teed you up to be like, no, yeah.
Kevin McDonald
Lifting someone else. It more relies on the core strength of the person being lifted. So if you can plank hard enough, if you can really hold that stable position, we're going to town.
Jordan Myrick
And that's something to work toward. No, I do think that a lesbian compliment is the best compliment for a man because there is nothing I want from you. There is nothing I want from you whatsoever. So if I'm giving you a compliment, it's just because it's real and I want to give it to you.
Kendall Landrus
And whenever I think, you know, I have known many men who have been like, well, I've dated three lesbians, and I broke up with me, and then I found out later they were gay. And I'm like, I think that's actually a huge compliment because we're always as people attracted to just the worst types of people. Like, there's so many exes I have that I'm like, they were not even attractive, and I was absolutely doing anything for them. And they had the most mediocre personality just because I'm gay. And they were a person that I just was super attracted to. So when you date a man, I feel like in high school, as a lesbian, you'll date guys or have crushes on guys that are just really good people or objectively attractive, where I can look at you and go, like, well, I can tell you're hot and I'm supposed to like you, so.
Kevin McDonald
Cause society says that you are the optimal. Yeah, 100%.
Jordan Myrick
Yes, absolutely. So people know you from the Internet as a personal training influencer.
Kevin McDonald
Unfortunately, those words are together in a sentence.
Jordan Myrick
Listen, it's embarrassing to say out loud. You know, I have to say it's. Oh, and comedian and content creator. It feels not good, but, you know, you got to make the money.
Kevin McDonald
Actually, can I. Can I, like, point you out and compliment you specifically in this moment for a second of you like it? I. Okay. So I was watching Gastronauts and I had this, like, revelation because it's such a fun show. Rarely with, like, food content is there joy involved. Rarely do you have, like, A group of people coming together to just have fun with food and make it delicious and cool and, like, unique. And your content specifically is so much fun to watch. And I think that's so rare. Maybe it's my, like, personal training circles where it's just a lot of people telling you how to make shitty ice cream out of a banana, but it's really nice to see.
Jordan Myrick
That's so sweet. I. I totally get what you're saying. I think a lot of food content lives in the world of either elitist or perverted is kind of what it feels like. And I try to get somewhere in the middle, you know?
Kendall Landrus
Well, and I even having been on set of Gastronauts, and stop me if there's anything I shouldn't be saying, but I found the chefs would come in and they were stressed to the mat, and I was, like, just in the green room, and they'd be, like, almost brought to tears, so nervous, as if the. And I would have to be like, no, no, it's really not gonna be stressful.
Kevin McDonald
Yeah.
Kendall Landrus
And I feel like by the end, all the chefs were like, this was so fun. Sorry. I was so weird in the beginning. When I got here, I thought someone was gonna, like, yell at me.
Kevin McDonald
Yeah.
Kendall Landrus
And I'm like, man, food shows and the food world is really intense.
Kevin McDonald
Food is intense.
Jordan Myrick
Yeah. I also feel like they're, you know, and when I say perverted, I both mean sexual. But also I think there's, like, a lot of weird perversion around food in the dieting space or like, with, like, mukbangs and things like that. Like.
Kevin McDonald
Well, I mean, that's what happens when you restrict things. Like, with you. When you restrict things so much, it becomes just, like. I don't know, just, like, sexual. Yeah. Like, I'm thinking of, like, just religious people in the devil, how they, like, just obsess over finding something that's satanic. It's like, you're now, like, you. This is no longer a healthy anything. You're obsessed with this.
Jordan Myrick
Yeah. It's very bizarre. I. I don't know. The food space is so weird. So I'm glad that you like what I do. So nice.
Kevin McDonald
No, it's. It's. It's special to me. I like it a lot.
Jordan Myrick
Thank you.
Kevin McDonald
I wish more people.
Jordan Myrick
And I also do want to acknowledge you also take a lot of extremely sexy pictures.
Kevin McDonald
Thank you. I try very hard every day.
Jordan Myrick
It is working. Please plug your Patreon so people can go look at them.
Kevin McDonald
Oh, my gosh. It. I mean. Oh, God, it's linked everywhere. Yeah, you're a friend, Kevin. On Patreon. I take sexy, lewd photos. But you, you ain't gonna see no nudes. That's too far.
Jordan Myrick
Okay.
Kendall Landrus
Too far.
Jordan Myrick
Would you ever show penis or hole?
Kevin McDonald
I have. Okay. So people support me enough for me not to do it.
Kendall Landrus
That's very nice.
Kevin McDonald
So if I come to a point in my life where I'm not being supported.
Kendall Landrus
Don't say that. People are gonna start unsubscribing.
Jordan Myrick
They're like, if we all subscribe, he'll strike. Your fans unionize America, baby.
Kevin McDonald
Boycotts don't work, baby. This is America. No, I'm kidding.
Jordan Myrick
I.
Kevin McDonald
No, like, I. I am doing fine enough now where I'm like, there's no need. And if I get to a point where someone offers so much money or it's so camp. Like, if someone's like, you're going to play this role, it's going to be iconic and you're going to get paid as much. I'll be like, well, we can't turn down a great opportunity. Yeah, no, I'm doing fine right now, so there's really no need to. And who wants to appeal to the people who only want to see you after you've given them everything?
Kendall Landrus
Wow. And that's kind of. We can actually just wrap it up here. That's kind of the advice of the other side.
Jordan Myrick
There you go. That's the end of it.
Kendall Landrus
Did you. Are you surprised? Like, if you told yourself many years ago you'd be kind of a fitness influencer, would you have been shocked?
Kevin McDonald
No. Yes. Yes, yes, yes. I would have never believed, just because I'm so insecure in, like, so many aspects of what I do that, like, if back then you would have said that I'd been like, anyone wants to listen or, look, I don't think so. That doesn't sound like something I believe in.
Jordan Myrick
What's going on with gay men? Why are you guys so insecure?
Kevin McDonald
Oh, my gosh. Name an issue and, like, it applies.
Jordan Myrick
I. I just feel like you guys are so popular. Like, I feel like lesbians are so secure, and there's really a lot of lesbian hate out in the world.
Kendall Landrus
Well, but Regina George wasn't secure. You know, she had more insecurities than anybody.
Jordan Myrick
Okay.
Kendall Landrus
So I guess that's how I feel about gay men. They're so popular. They're so. But then deep down, they have a lot of insecurities.
Kevin McDonald
I think it all comes down to, like, sex and power. Like. Like, when you come out as a woman, there's not a lot of like sexual drive that inspires it. Like it has to come from inside, has to come from like what you love, what you're interested in. Where gay men, like a, a masculine red blooded male just kind of wants to stick their dick in whatever they want. Are we allowed to say? Yeah, you can say that. Awesome.
Kendall Landrus
We've already begged for you to show hole.
Jordan Myrick
So I'm thinking at the end of.
Kevin McDonald
The episode, well, listen, the money, the money' above it. But yeah, like, I just feel men are so like sexually forced to come to terms with what they want earlier in life. And so that brings them to a point of just, just more recklessness that you would get from a woman in their, in their coming out story. But yeah, with men, like they, they're all going through a hard time right now, right? Like, it's just the world is changing and they don't know what to do. And I think gay men are caught in that because they used to be cool, they used to be fashionable, and now they're just guys who don't really do much to provide to society outside of support. Gaga and her endeavor.
Kendall Landrus
Yes. I really feel like there is some. And I'm not a gay man, so maybe I shouldn't be speaking on this. But from an outside point of view, we're clipping this. Yeah, here we go. I think there must be something really hard about.
Kevin McDonald
Hot. Yeah, definitely.
Kendall Landrus
Really hot. Sorry. Something really hot and hard about going to high school in like the Midwest or the middle of the Bible Belt. Well, maybe once we get to the Bible belt, it's no longer really fun. But we're in the middle of the Midwest and you're like the one gay guy at the school and everyone's like, you should be a comedian. And it's like, no, I just paint my nails. Like, I'm not even saying a joke. Like that's not something funny. And you kind of cultivate this personality where it's like your personality is that you are gay and then you move to LA or you move to New York and everyone's kind of like, yeah, we're all kind of doing that.
Kevin McDonald
Yeah.
Kendall Landrus
Do you know what I mean?
Kevin McDonald
Oh, totally. Like when someone points you and says you're different, you have two paths where you like reject it and you say, no, I'm actually the same as everybody else. And you're, you're the gay one and then you just crumble and go to therapy 20 years later. Or you can like the other alternative Is what to like. You're right. And I'm gonna dye my hair blue. And then you become this. This, like, this ire for other attention, and that can be traumatizing. Yeah, it's a mess.
Jordan Myrick
It truly is. But I'm glad you're here today to talk about toxic masculinity. And I do wanna start with one of our segments, which is Mary U Haul Ghost. It's like Mary F Kill. We keep forgetting to look up if you can say the F word and still be monetized on Spotify. We'll do that after this episode. I'm sorry, we just keep doing that. Mary. Mary U Haul.
Kevin McDonald
Or wait.
Jordan Myrick
No, it's different. I wrote the down. What is it? Mary Shull?
Kevin McDonald
Mary Scholler.
Kendall Landrus
Mary Ghost.
Jordan Myrick
One Night Stand.
Kendall Landrus
One Night Stand.
Jordan Myrick
No.
Kendall Landrus
Mary We.
Kevin McDonald
No.
Jordan Myrick
Hey, is it U Haul Ghost One Night? Yeah, that's what it is. We're new to segments.
Kevin McDonald
I just thought you guys would be more professional.
Jordan Myrick
I know, and we thought that, too. Okay, we are going to kick it off with a segment that we do called U Haul One Night Stand Ghost, which is like Mary F Kill. You know, you get it. But we wanted to do it with all things that were toxically masculine.
Kevin McDonald
Okay.
Jordan Myrick
So U Haul is Mary One Night Stand is Pound. And Ghost is Kill.
Kevin McDonald
Great.
Kendall Landrus
You know, the name of the segment's good. When we have to explain it so.
Kevin McDonald
Intense, it really just rolls off the tongue.
Jordan Myrick
So you have to just try things sometimes. Okay, we're starting something new. We're start. You know, it's a new segment. It's fun. We tried to make it kind of gay, even though this. Hey, I want to take a moment to remind everyone, this is not a gay podcast. This is a podcast for everyone. This is a podcast for everyone.
Kendall Landrus
We're always.
Jordan Myrick
We actually are really good at giving straight people advice, and I think that's important to remember.
Kendall Landrus
See the podcast brainstorms that happen behind the scenes where we're, like, literally texting our friends, being like, who's a straight person?
Jordan Myrick
You guys like to see on our. We are trying to get any contestant from the Bachelor or Bachelorette franchise that is straight to come do the show. So if that's you, please let us know. All right, first thing. Arnold Schwarzenegger, Clint Eastwood, and John Wayne. I looked up masculine men, and those were the first three that came up on Google.
Kevin McDonald
Hell, yeah.
Kendall Landrus
You were the fourth, though.
Jordan Myrick
You were the fourth. Yeah, yeah. Right after them.
Kevin McDonald
Well, something's wrong with your Google. Okay, okay. If. Okay, repeat those names for me.
Jordan Myrick
Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Kevin McDonald
Uh huh.
Jordan Myrick
Clint Eastwood. Okay, John Wayne.
Kevin McDonald
What year is it with Clint Eastwood? Is it today where he's like a shriveled man and he's.
Jordan Myrick
I'm not in charge of that.
Kevin McDonald
Okay.
Kendall Landrus
I think we're doing early 90s.
Kevin McDonald
Yeah, I'm imagining that we're doing early.
Jordan Myrick
90S for all of them.
Kendall Landrus
Yes.
Jordan Myrick
How old was John Wayne in the early 90s?
Kendall Landrus
To be honest, I don't really know who that is.
Jordan Myrick
Let's say, let's say at their hottest.
Kevin McDonald
Yeah, absolutely. I'm gonna, I'm gonna. The equivalent of kill.
Jordan Myrick
Ghost.
Kevin McDonald
Ghost.
Kendall Landrus
Worse.
Kevin McDonald
I'm gonna ghost. Not John Wayne Gacy.
Jordan Myrick
No John Wayne.
Kendall Landrus
Just John Wayne. Wait, I do know who John Wayne is. I know him.
Jordan Myrick
I will have to say that's a mistake. That makes sense because for a really long time I was confused why the airport was called the John Wayne Gacy Airport. I was like, why does he have an airport named after him? It's not. It's the John Wayne airport.
Kevin McDonald
That makes a lot of sense. That makes a lot of sense. I need a notepad. I know.
Jordan Myrick
This is an educational learning podcast. This is an educational learning podcast for straight people, don't forget.
Kevin McDonald
I'm so sorry. I'm used to like lifting weights, not retaining information.
Jordan Myrick
Absolutely, yes. You're dumb, but you're hot. So I'll just remind you.
Kevin McDonald
Thank you.
Jordan Myrick
U haul One Night Stand Ghost. Arnold Schwarzenegger. Clint Eastwood. John Wayne. The actor, not the serial killer.
Kevin McDonald
Okay, I'm going to ghost John Wayne because as masculine as he would be, he just seems like he'd be mean to me. He just seems like someone who's gonna like. He doesn't look like he's nice to his mother. And I just like, like, I, I know that man would just call me a slur, spank me in the ass and put me back in the kitchen. It's just not something I appreciate. I want, I. If they're gonna do that, I want more of a sexual tone to it. It's not like a hatred, dismissive. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me. We gotta specify. I will u haul Arnold Schwarzenegger because I just. What an iconic figure. I like. Even today, people in like bodybuilding spheres see him as like the optimal, the goal and that is just like to do that and to have your legacy last so long. It's just impressive.
Kendall Landrus
Did you see him in the spongebob movie?
Kevin McDonald
Of course. I have two eyes and a heart, don't I?
Kendall Landrus
There's literally a part of the movie where if I remember correctly.
Kevin McDonald
Wait a minute. No, wait, wait, wait, wait. Are you talking about. Is that David Hasselhoff?
Kendall Landrus
That's David Hasselhoff. Oh, my God.
Jordan Myrick
He's in the SpongeBob movie.
Kendall Landrus
There's a part where David Hasselhoff puts SpongeBob and Patrick between his pecs and he, like, squeezes them, and then they use that as a mode of transportation.
Kevin McDonald
Hold on to his chest hair. Yeah.
Jordan Myrick
No. A little different vibe than Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Kevin McDonald
This was pre cheeseburger. Oh, do you not remember this when, like, oh, David Hasselhoff had this, like, daughter film him while he eats. He ate a cheeseburger and was like, you. You, like, call me a. Let me eat this.
Jordan Myrick
His daughter.
Kevin McDonald
Yeah. He's insane. Like, truly, like, breakdown moment. Oh. Who can guess the motives? But behind, like, a insane crash out. But sorry.
Kendall Landrus
Jordan's stomach just need to lie.
Jordan Myrick
My stomach just grown so loud. This is one of our more chaotic episodes. I'm really sorry. Really sorry. This episode is one of our more chaotic episodes. Wow.
Kendall Landrus
The most chaotic thing being that Jordan has their laptop out with trying to buy Beyonce again.
Jordan Myrick
I'm on the resale. There's 20,000 people in front of me.
Kevin McDonald
I'm like, she's having so much trouble. Is she not looking at her notes?
Jordan Myrick
I'm looking at my notes in a way. I am having so much trouble. There's also notes, but I, you know, I'm looking at a couple things, and one of them is the Beyonce.
Kevin McDonald
Literally. Best of luck to you.
Jordan Myrick
Thank you so much. I don't think we're going to get it, but, you know, you know, hey, we're all trying our best. All right, so then that sounds like you would have sex with Clint Eastwood.
Kevin McDonald
Absolutely. With that fucking cowboy hat on.
Jordan Myrick
But that's even knowing that he's such a weird old freak.
Kendall Landrus
They're all weird.
Kevin McDonald
I'm not. That's so. Okay, like, at what point do we not all become weird old freaks?
Jordan Myrick
Sure. Okay. All right.
Kendall Landrus
Okay. Mary. No.
Jordan Myrick
Okay, okay, okay. Now we've messed it up so much, we have to keep it in. I like this segment. Right. It's hard for us to remember. Do people like it? I think takes nine times longer because.
Kendall Landrus
We repeat the name of it 50 times.
Jordan Myrick
So. Okay, here's the next one. U haul one night stand. Ghost protein powder. Dude wipes a Scarface poster.
Kevin McDonald
Okay. Ghost. A Scarface poster. Because old movies, boring. I like new movies. I appreciate them from. I'm the same with musicals. I appreciate them from a distance, but it was made before 1990. I don't care. I don't care. I don't want to be involved in that. And then U Haul protein powder, because it's just, you know, it was a great little extra bit.
Jordan Myrick
Okay.
Kevin McDonald
It's reliable.
Jordan Myrick
I do feel like you two are similar. I'm getting that vibe already. Wow.
Kevin McDonald
I think we have a very similar upbringing that we really.
Jordan Myrick
About her lore.
Kendall Landrus
Oh, my God. I was like, wait, are you just getting that vibe from me? But I guess you might know some of. What upbringing?
Kevin McDonald
All I know is that you were, like, a musical theater nightmare in high school.
Kendall Landrus
Well, because I was so bad at it.
Jordan Myrick
That makes sense why I'm so drawn to you then. Because you are similar to Kendall.
Kendall Landrus
Kiss him.
Kevin McDonald
We'll save that for the picture.
Kendall Landrus
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Jordan Myrick
And then.
Kendall Landrus
So you would.
Jordan Myrick
You'd marry Dude Wipes?
Kevin McDonald
Yeah.
Kendall Landrus
Wait, no, no, no. You'd. One night stand Dude Wipes.
Kevin McDonald
One Night Wipes. I'll use them once or twice. I feel like that's a luxury, but also not necessary.
Kendall Landrus
Yeah, sure.
Kevin McDonald
I do. I do hate the marketing behind it because it's like, baby mama, that's a paper towel.
Jordan Myrick
Hey. But you know what? I'll say maybe Dude Wipes could have kind of, like, a huge marketing shift if they started, like, sponsoring kind of different podcasts like this one. I'd promote Dude Wipes on this podcast.
Kendall Landrus
We've already been too desperate on this episode. Stop trying to get more sponsors.
Jordan Myrick
Sorry. People know that we pay for this podcast ourselves. You've already been independent podcast straight people.
Kevin McDonald
You can't get beyond advertising.
Jordan Myrick
We have no advertising. We have a network. We do. Kendall and I fully independently produce this podcast with the help of our producer, Blake, who we also pay.
Kevin McDonald
Oh. So I'll take you guys out to lunch after this. Thank you.
Jordan Myrick
No, we're doing. The podcast is doing really well.
Kevin McDonald
Yeah, it's great.
Jordan Myrick
All. All the money we make, though, is from monetization or our patreon, you know, so we're. We're familiar, but I'm looking for advertisers, so I'm going to start just kind of, like, throwing it. Throwing stuff out there. Clip it.
Kendall Landrus
No one's going to sponsor us because we're giving free advertising constantly.
Jordan Myrick
No, I'm not saying anything good about Dude Wipes right now, but I will, for money.
Kevin McDonald
We can record two versions of this podcast. One where we shit on Dude Wipes.
Jordan Myrick
And one where we hype them.
Kendall Landrus
We will release one of these. You decide.
Jordan Myrick
I put on the, like, V for Vendetta. Mask and send the Dude Wipes advertising people a message. I'm like, you decide which one we send. Have you guys seen V for Vendetta or is that movie too old for you?
Kevin McDonald
I understand the references.
Jordan Myrick
Neither of you have seen V for Vendetta?
Kevin McDonald
No.
Jordan Myrick
Oh, my God.
Kendall Landrus
I only know about it because in Olive Pendergast reads it in Easy A, right?
Jordan Myrick
I don't know, Kendall.
Kendall Landrus
Isn't that, like, what the movie's about? I don't know.
Kevin McDonald
I haven't seen that in a long time.
Jordan Myrick
That's the scar. Oh, my God, man. Dude, you are just swinging and missing today like no other.
Kevin McDonald
No, no, hey, hey. They've both got, like, letters from the Alphabet in them.
Kendall Landrus
You know what, Jordan?
Kevin McDonald
They're so close.
Kendall Landrus
Why don't you head over to the John Wayne Gacy airport and get out of town?
Jordan Myrick
We're having fun. You're gonna pop your new titties straight open. Oh, my God. Kendall got a breast reduction surgery, if you all don't know. And she's still healing. I can't believe she's here. She's so brave.
Kendall Landrus
I know if I showed you what was going on underneath here, you would be like, you're a true professional.
Kevin McDonald
She's a survivor.
Jordan Myrick
She really is.
Kendall Landrus
Cover yours if you're squeamish. They took my nipples off and they reattached them.
Kevin McDonald
I had a friend with a similar surgery, and they swear to God that they. They switched the nipples. And they're like, I used to be more sensitive in one nipple than the other, and now they're on the opposite side.
Kendall Landrus
Yeah, but they should not have any.
Jordan Myrick
Sensitivity, I feel like. Because weren't they chopped off? Do you still have sensitivity?
Kevin McDonald
Oh, this is way out of my spirit of insight.
Kendall Landrus
I know.
Jordan Myrick
This is a doctor podcast for straight people about dude wipes now.
Kevin McDonald
Yes.
Jordan Myrick
Okay, we have one more. We have one more. U haul, Mary goes kill.
Kendall Landrus
U haul one night stand ghosts. U Haul and Mary are the same one.
Jordan Myrick
So U haul, one night stand. Ghost golfing with the boys while your wife is in labor, getting mad and punching a wall. Getting into cryptocurrency.
Kevin McDonald
These are all such camp things to do. That's the problem with masculinity is, like, isolated. If you hear about it in just, like, it's solitary confinement. It is hilarious. Yeah, like, just. Just over the top. Very funny. But then you're like, oh, the real world ramifications.
Jordan Myrick
I mean, punching a wall because you're mad is so funny.
Kevin McDonald
That's hilarious.
Jordan Myrick
If it wasn't scary, it would be really funny.
Kendall Landrus
Can I ask you, and you don't have to answer this. Have you done that before?
Kevin McDonald
You know what? No. I have thrown a controller onto the floor and broken it.
Jordan Myrick
Because of a game.
Kevin McDonald
Absolutely. Well, that was my. I. I did that and I like, stopped. I, like paused. I was like, we can't be like this.
Jordan Myrick
Gay men think they're different. They're not.
Kevin McDonald
We're not.
Jordan Myrick
We're not one step away.
Kevin McDonald
But you know what? The difference what made this gay was that it was a Smash Bros Competition, not like a Call of Duty bullshit thing.
Jordan Myrick
So that doesn't make it different. Okay, Whatever you need to say to make yourself feel better. Sponsored by dude wipes.
Kevin McDonald
So all one night stand, punching a hole in a wall. Because some. Honestly, we all have to do it at one point.
Jordan Myrick
Sure.
Kendall Landrus
Yeah. We all have to do it.
Jordan Myrick
We all have to do it.
Kevin McDonald
I said what?
Kendall Landrus
I said, I've never. It's crazy because I as a kid thought, okay, well, crazy guys, bad guy do that. And I had this most quiet friend in high school who was so calm and sweet and he loved Nightmare before Christmas and that was kind of his thing. He and I went over to his house one day and there was a hole in the wall. And he was like, I punched a hole in the wall. And I was like, oh, my God. Every guy does this.
Kevin McDonald
The horrors come for us all. Yeah, I. I saw a tick tock once where someone punched a hole in the wall and then they put a little frame on it and said like, Jeremy's mistake or something. I was like, that's great.
Jordan Myrick
Yeah. Shame is an incredible tactic.
Kevin McDonald
Really is.
Kendall Landrus
All right, so you One night stand, hole in the wall.
Kevin McDonald
In the wall. Ghost cryptocurrency. Because who's got time for gambling? And then what was the other. The first one you would u haul?
Kendall Landrus
Going golfing.
Kevin McDonald
Going golf with the boys while the.
Jordan Myrick
Well, your wife is in labor.
Kevin McDonald
Hilarious. Hilarious. Hilarious.
Jordan Myrick
You're like, I don't even know.
Kendall Landrus
I just did.
Kevin McDonald
Are there not doctors next to her? Does she have no support? Give her a little. Little fidget spinner or a squeeze toy.
Kendall Landrus
Yeah, give her a fidget spitter.
Jordan Myrick
Send her off.
Kevin McDonald
Jeez. I did my work nine months ago. I don't know what she needs me for.
Jordan Myrick
And I'm sure great work. It was absolutely.
Kevin McDonald
It was the best three minutes of her life.
Jordan Myrick
I need to know, is there one sex with a man that stands out in your mind as the worst sex with a you've had?
Kevin McDonald
Yeah, I'm okay. So I'M not a size queen.
Jordan Myrick
Sure.
Kevin McDonald
So generally, when men present themselves as, like, just someone who presents girth, that's when I kind of like, you're bored, leave the room. And it's not so much boring. It's that I'm like, oh, you don't know what you're doing. You just have a large tool to use. So generally that's like, the indicator of someone who's pretty bad at sex or not so interesting in bed. They're not going to show me anything.
Jordan Myrick
I mean, it's like someone who's really hot and has been hot forever, so they've never had to try 100%, so they just kind of.
Kevin McDonald
I need everyone. I need everyone to stop looking at me when you said that.
Jordan Myrick
Sorry, sorry. I don't want to.
Kendall Landrus
Did you.
Kevin McDonald
Did you hear that?
Jordan Myrick
I don't want to feel.
Kevin McDonald
Right on.
Jordan Myrick
Sorry. I'm just a size queen, so I got distracted.
Kendall Landrus
I want to know because I feel like in the fitness space, there's so much masculinity plays a huge role in it.
Kevin McDonald
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Kendall Landrus
Do you feel like that is shifting? Do you feel like, how does it affect you? What relationship do you have with it? I know. I just asked three massive questions.
Kevin McDonald
No, it was great. I actually just finished up a video on YouTube about the Velvet Rage, which is a book about. It's kind of like just a. A psychological presentation of, like, why gay men act certain ways. And the premise of the video is that I don't think it's a very good book because it claims to, like, help heal when all it does is just kind of, like, diagnose. And I'm like, you can't just, like, tell men why they're bad and then leave them to figure it out. They're just gonna blame someone else. So. Something that it brings up, though. Actually, could you repeat your question?
Kendall Landrus
Of course. I wish I remembered it, but I. I was.
Jordan Myrick
As soon as you asked that, I said, O.
Kendall Landrus
So just like, what is your. Your relationship to masculinity? What if. Do you feel like it's. I think what I. My first question was, do you think it's changing the. The role masculinity plays in the fitness space?
Kevin McDonald
Yes. So, like, being masculine isn't a bad thing. Like, to want to be a provider or to want to, like, be strong isn't bad. It's yielding those powers over someone else because you're insecure about how much strength you actually have. Like, that's where we get messy. And the problem now is that there's just so much validation online for people who are insecure but don't want to admit it. So, like, you just go in all of these different spaces, and people are like, yeah, well, like, once I get this big, I'm finally gonna attract those ladies that aren't interested in muscle. And then you have all these people in their comments being like, yeah, brother, I'd you. I don't know why these women don't wanna. And it's like, yeah, see, okay, we're. We're circling the drain a little bit. And that's, like, the biggest problem. I think there's too much validation for people's stupid, stupid thoughts and not enough, like, just to stop and breathe for a second and figure out why we might be having these stupid, stupid thoughts.
Kendall Landrus
Yeah.
Kevin McDonald
Because it's not fair. I think about my stupid, stupid thoughts all the time.
Kendall Landrus
Yeah.
Kevin McDonald
These. These dumbos, they have to think about them sometimes.
Kendall Landrus
Yeah.
Jordan Myrick
Do you find yourself attracted to masculinity?
Kevin McDonald
Oh, 100%. Who isn't, though? Who is it?
Kendall Landrus
I know I am.
Kevin McDonald
Who doesn't want daddy's love? Occasionally, you either want mommy's milkers or daddy's love.
Jordan Myrick
I can't talk about mommy's milkers. I'm in a sensitive span.
Kevin McDonald
Oh, because of the breast reduction.
Jordan Myrick
Because of the breast reduction. I'm almost into the Beyonce room. I need you guys to know there's only. Okay, wait. Everyone, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Sorry, sorry, sorry. This is a masculine. This isn't a straight podcast. How about dude wipes? This is a gay podcast.
Kevin McDonald
Beyond say. No. This is. This is genuinely more important.
Jordan Myrick
Everyone be okay for one second. I already entered this promo code. I'm getting. Actually, I'm getting mad.
Kendall Landrus
This is what's gonna be hard, is if Jordan doesn't get these tickets, and then we're gonna have to continue the podcast.
Jordan Myrick
I'm gonna punch a hole in a wall. I'll tell you right now, you're about to experience some toxic masculinity. If I don't get these Beyonce tickets.
Kevin McDonald
It comes for us all.
Kendall Landrus
Are you gonna do the whole thing? What are you gonna pick?
Jordan Myrick
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. What do you mean I'm gonna do the whole thing? You thought I was gonna get it and not buy tickets?
Kendall Landrus
I don't know. You're in.
Jordan Myrick
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
Kendall Landrus
So they're gonna get, like, front row seats because.
Jordan Myrick
No, no, no, no. What?
Kendall Landrus
Did you get them?
Jordan Myrick
We did it, girls.
Kendall Landrus
Oh, my God, we did. Good job. What'd you get.
Jordan Myrick
We did it. Don't look at it.
Kendall Landrus
Okay. Why?
Jordan Myrick
I just don't want you to know about it.
Kendall Landrus
Wait, what?
Jordan Myrick
I should want you to look at the price.
Kendall Landrus
Oh, that's okay. Can I see? I'm just interested. What seats did you. That's for one ticket.
Jordan Myrick
No, two for me and Kelsey. No, for me and Kelsey.
Kevin McDonald
So we just. We got live on camera. You getting those Beyonce tickets. Wow.
Kendall Landrus
Okay. Well, that took eight years, so checking.
Kevin McDonald
No, no, no. That was worth it. Congratulations.
Jordan Myrick
Thank you so much. It's truly one of the least professional things I've ever done. But why do they do this in the middle of a workday?
Kevin McDonald
In the middle of a work day?
Jordan Myrick
It's actually a war on the working class. How do you feel that?
Kendall Landrus
Are you relieved?
Jordan Myrick
I feel relieved. I didn't go, like, way out of my budget. I got the tickets for the right day at the right time. It's more than anyone should spend on anything, but I got the tickets.
Kevin McDonald
Is this a. This a Beyonce thing, or is it a live music thing for you? Are you a concert lady or do you enjoy a Beyonce?
Jordan Myrick
I enjoy a Beyonce. I like a concert. I was a real concert head when I was younger. I lived right by a music venue in South Florida called Revolution, and it was, like, a big concert venue, and I would go see a lot of stuff there. I used to be really into, like, bands and indie music and, like, the whole shebang. But now as an adult, I think I've kind of. I've done it. And so, you know. But we went to Renaissance. I got Kendall tickets to Renaissance for Christmas. We went to Renaissance. It was unbelievable. I've always been a huge Beyonce fan. I'm a big, really big Destiny's Child fan. Specifically, I'm a really big Kelly Rowland fan, but love Beyonce. And Renaissance was so incredible. It was my first time getting to see her. I have never been a spend a lot of money on concerts person, but now it feels like that's the only option.
Kevin McDonald
I mean, to see the greats. Yeah. But even not, there's two extremes. Either it is dirt cheap and you can, like, stand and watch someone perform for three hours, or it is, like a month's worth of saving.
Jordan Myrick
Sure.
Kevin McDonald
Yeah. There's really no in between. I. My ex is really into live music, and I'm not. So when we were in a relationship, I got spoiled because he would just, like, be at all the good ones because he has just better taste than me. And knowing that, I just know in my heart that I am Not a concert boy. Because if I can be ushered in and have all the work done for me and still complain about standing for too long, it's not. It's just not.
Kendall Landrus
That's how I'm the same exact way. I'm not a huge concert person. Renaissance was absolutely amazing, and I was so glad, and I was kind of like, I want to go see Beyonce one time in my life. I have to go see her. But I. No matter who it is, even if it is my favorite singer on earth, like, we saw Florence in the Machine, who's my favorite band of all time. And I. After about three songs, I'm like, okay, I saw it. Let's head home. And people are like, encore. And I'm like, shut.
Kevin McDonald
Yeah. I have so much love in my heart for my favorite artists. I don't ever want to experience them with a cramp. Like, with. I don't ever want to be like. I was sitting in front of. I was watching Ray perform.
Jordan Myrick
Unbelievable.
Kevin McDonald
She's incredible. She could not have sounded better live yet. I was like, when is we gonna wrap this up, though? Because I'm, like, kind of tired now, and I just don't want to have those. I feel like that's insulting to the artists and their artistry. I just don't appreciate it. My one claim to fame, though, is that when Beyonce. No, sorry. When Lady Gaga was just starting and, like, just dance was, like, really hitting the radio hard, and everyone was becoming obsessed. There was this toy drive in San Diego because I used to live there, and if you brought in a toy, you can see an artist perform. And for five days of the week, they had different artists. And Gaga was on a Tuesday, just overcast.
Jordan Myrick
Long time ago.
Kevin McDonald
Yeah. Yeah. And there was, like, maybe 400 people in an IKEA parking lot watching Gaga perform with two backup dancers. I was, like, a foot away from her. Is amazing.
Kendall Landrus
Oh, that is so fun.
Jordan Myrick
We were having that with Dochi. We had that with Dochi, like, years ago.
Kendall Landrus
We were, like, at an influencer event, and they had hired Dochi to come perform, and everyone. There was a stage where singers would sing, but no one was at it. It was like, no one would. Everyone was drinking and chatting, and it was at. Where was it at? It was at the. Her.
Jordan Myrick
The mansion, maybe. It was, like, weird. That feels like.
Kendall Landrus
That might be wrong, but it was at some crazy mansion, and. And she was there, and there was just, like, five of us in front of the stage being like, yeah, and now it's crazy. Now she's like, the Most famous person.
Kevin McDonald
Anyways, and well deserved. She's incredible.
Kendall Landrus
Sorry. Back to masculinity.
Jordan Myrick
Let's focus up. Okay? I'm sorry.
Kevin McDonald
Genuinely very proud of you. Congratulations.
Jordan Myrick
Thank you so much. Normally, I'm on top of it, but I was, you know.
Kevin McDonald
No, I.
Jordan Myrick
You. You. I was.
Kevin McDonald
I would be. It would be insane for me to sit here and be like, I'm more important than Beyonce. I'm not going to kid myself.
Kendall Landrus
I think you are.
Kevin McDonald
Thank you, Kendall. You're wrong and she's lying.
Jordan Myrick
All right, let's get into some questions from our listeners.
Kevin McDonald
Hell yeah.
Jordan Myrick
This first question comes from our patreon. And this person says, how can I deal with toxic masculinity trauma? My ex was disgusting. He would punch holes in walls and rip his shirt off when he was mad. I'm so sorry. I hear your drama, but funny thing to do.
Kevin McDonald
Masculinity is hilarious.
Jordan Myrick
That's a wild thing to do, to rip your shirt off. They say it was terrifying. My current boyfriend is so much better. He's a sweetie and rarely gets mad, but when he does, he will scream profanities like something horrible has happened. Scares the out of me. How can I politely tell him that his behavior is really triggering for me?
Kendall Landrus
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Kevin McDonald
That's tough. Cause it's like that behavior is just really not acceptable, right?
Kendall Landrus
Yeah, that's the thing. It's really not like I've never. I mean, I guess unless you're like if it's unrelated to. But I. I couldn't handle that if it's like, he burns something in the oven and he's like, fucking shit. Fuck yeah.
Jordan Myrick
Where's the. Where's the lie? Like, if he gets into a car accident is like, fuck yeah, that's normal.
Kevin McDonald
I actually. Cause I felt very similarly the other day. My dog got in a little tussle with the skunk, and I. My roommate comes out. I'm in, like, the backyard, and I'm just like, dealing with the issue at hand.
Kendall Landrus
Did the dog get sprayed?
Kevin McDonald
So he smelled like a skunk? My dog hates water, and it was like 11pm at night, so I can't take him in anywhere. And my roommate comes out and is like, pee you. What happened there? Like, truly Lucille Ball coming into the scene. And I turn to him, I'm like, this isn't about you. But I am so incredibly angry right now. You need to leave right now. And so I was like, that's my way of dealing with things. Like, as long as I can let the person know that the anger is not directed at them. But I am incredibly angry. I feel like I can navigate it. So I think that's it. Like, if someone is directing it towards you and it is not your responsibility to take it, like, that's unacceptable and it needs to be dealt with. But just like, helping someone find the proper avenues of communication so they can just talk about their emotions and feelings.
Kendall Landrus
Yeah.
Jordan Myrick
I also think that's good too, because it's unreasonable to expect someone to never get upset or mad or anything. And even if it's triggering for you, it is natural and normal for that person to feel upset sometimes. So I think finding a way together to be, like, what's something where we can both get our feelings out? So is it maybe like, they give you a heads up, like, hey, I'm feeling real angry. I just gotta let some sound out of me. And you go in the other room and put in headphones and take a shower or whatever. Like, whatever. And then they get to just yelp. Sorry, I burped. Hold on. My body's turning against me. This really is one of our most chaotic episodes we've ever filmed. We all got stuck behind a car accident on the way here. Okay.
Kevin McDonald
I just want everyone to know, listening. I'm usually, like, so funny and so on it. I'm so smart and capable, but, like, there's just a lot of chaotic energy, so it's hard to focus. Yeah, I'm. I'm usually like, so much funnier.
Jordan Myrick
I'm sorry. And we're keeping you from being able to do any of that, and I feel really bad. I'm really sorry. I'm really sorry. What was I saying? You have no clue. I don't know why I asked you.
Kendall Landrus
I. I remember. You were really sure of it, though.
Jordan Myrick
You realized, too.
Kendall Landrus
You're like, here's what I'll say about that.
Jordan Myrick
What?
Kendall Landrus
Here's all that. That's what you did.
Jordan Myrick
I do say it like that. No, I think it's just like. Yeah, maybe you just go take a shower and put the music on and you're in the shower and taking a relaxing shower, and they get to just, like, be in your bedroom and, like, scream fuck into a pillow for four minutes.
Kevin McDonald
Yeah.
Jordan Myrick
I think you have to find a way where you can both get it out.
Kevin McDonald
Yeah. My thing is, I usually just need to be alone. I usually just need some time to, like, decompress. Like, let me scroll mindlessly on my phone for 15 minutes. I'm not gonna absorb any of it. Let me just, like, take some time, and then I'm. I'm usually pretty good.
Jordan Myrick
Yeah. I think this takes us to a great question that we got on Instagram. What do you think the border is between toxic masculinity and healthy masculinity?
Kevin McDonald
Like, oppression. Like, the oppression of others is basically like, if you are stomping on someone to display how cool you are, then we've got an issue. If you're just like, it's your Instagram page and you love, like, chopping wood and, you know, down in the brewskis, like, there's like, who is that harming?
Kendall Landrus
Well, I also think it's like, masculinity is not. I think it too. If it's, like, healthy, it would go to any gender as well. It's like, well, masculinity doesn't have to stop at a man. Yeah. You know what I mean? Where it's like, if you're okay with a. If it doesn't upset you to have a. A woman chopping wood.
Kevin McDonald
Yeah. Yeah. Masculine is a vibe. It's not a gender. Absolutely.
Jordan Myrick
Yeah.
Kendall Landrus
Something.
Kevin McDonald
What is. Oh, I'm gonna butcher this. Martin Luther King says, like, the. The answer to power is love. Like, in order to use power properly, you need love and compassion, and I think that's it. It can't be born out of spite or needing something from someone else.
Jordan Myrick
Ooh, the needing is so true. It's like, it should just be something that's, like, about you for you, and not about your position or context to other people.
Kevin McDonald
I do think that's where A lot of miscommunication happens, though, because a lot of men are like. It's like the. The not all men crowd. It's like they see themselves as, like, just an innocent bystander.
Kendall Landrus
Yeah.
Kevin McDonald
And they haven't, like, associated their role in the whole, like, you know, metaverse yet. And so when people are like, you're doing this wrong, they're like, but I'm just a little baby boy who hasn't done anything. It's my birthday.
Kendall Landrus
It's always their birthday.
Kevin McDonald
Typical response, but yeah. So then you get into, like, this tricky, just, like, blame game, and it gets really difficult.
Jordan Myrick
I do want to know, is there anything that you feel like to you, feels very personally masculine that maybe is not traditionally thought of as masculine? Because I have one.
Kevin McDonald
Oh, go first. Because, I don't know.
Jordan Myrick
Eating a whole fish. A whole fish. Head on bones, deep fried bones. I don't have to eat the bones, but, like, I'm. I'm presented with. With a whole fish. A whole fried, steamed, baked, whatever, grilled. A whole fish.
Kevin McDonald
Okay.
Jordan Myrick
I'm eating the whole thing. I'm getting in there with my hands.
Kevin McDonald
I just. I just. Just imagine this, like, Tom and Jerry sticking a fish in your oven.
Jordan Myrick
I find Tom and Jerry to be two of the most masculine than I can think of. But, yeah, honestly, yeah, I do think that's a. You know, that's not what I was referring to. But when I stop and think about it sucking a fish carcass, full meat from its core, Yeah, I do think that's extremely masculine.
Kevin McDonald
Delicious. I can't argue with that.
Jordan Myrick
But that's when I feel. When I feel particularly masculine, when I am eating a whole fish.
Kevin McDonald
This is. I mean, this isn't so, like, untypical, to use a word that doesn't exist, but, like, when I can, like, fix something without doing the proper avenues of repair. Like, if I can just grab some duct tape and, like, cover up a hole in the wall that I punched earlier. Like, that's when I'm like, fuck, yeah. Fuck, yeah. I can do anything. But that's. That's already kind of like a male stance of male. But, yeah, anything.
Jordan Myrick
Laziness is what it sounds like you're describing.
Kevin McDonald
Okay. All right. Again with the attacks. No, but, like, any problem I can solve with a zip tie, I'm like, yes, I'm powerful.
Kendall Landrus
Interesting.
Jordan Myrick
I get that.
Kevin McDonald
Yeah.
Jordan Myrick
I love that you have one.
Kendall Landrus
Mine's embarrassing. The only thing I can think of. I was trying to think of when do I feel really masculine? And it's When I pump gas, which is absolutely insane because I think I'm just holding something that kind of feels like a gun.
Jordan Myrick
No, but I think that's true. You know, you're kind of taking control and care of our car. And I think I play into it.
Kendall Landrus
Well, I'll be like, hey, I'll get it.
Jordan Myrick
Yeah.
Kevin McDonald
Do you think there's anything about just like the phallic imagery of shoving into.
Jordan Myrick
Sure.
Kendall Landrus
Shoving it in there.
Kevin McDonald
Yeah.
Jordan Myrick
And penetrating our car.
Kevin McDonald
Yeah.
Kendall Landrus
Holding it there. You also have to flex. Here's what I'll say about gas stations. When I was growing up, my mom always put the thing on the gas pump that made it to where you could walk away. That has never worked for me.
Jordan Myrick
Our car, that just does not work.
Kendall Landrus
I don't know if it's how that would be related to our car. I feel like it's the. I don't know if they Maybe, maybe. I don't know if it's just quality control, but that's never worked for me. So I always have to hold it, which really makes you have to flex my non existent bicep for, like, a really long time.
Kevin McDonald
Hey, there's a bicep there.
Jordan Myrick
You're very strong.
Kevin McDonald
You. You physically couldn't move your arm. But there wasn't. There's something.
Kendall Landrus
Thank you. But it feels like you have to really flex it with the gas. And I like that. That feels good to me.
Jordan Myrick
And I was saying I play into it because I don't like to pump gas. So I'm like, baby, can you pump the gas? And then Kendall's like, I got it and gets out.
Kendall Landrus
You know what I do? That's really embarrassing, though. If I'm wearing a short sleeve shirt, a T shirt at all, and I'm pumping gas, sometimes nobody's there. This is just for me. I roll up the sleeves so there's a tank top.
Kevin McDonald
Get your foot on the tire. Just a nice hell stance.
Kendall Landrus
Yeah. I really do feel. And then I like, slam the little. The tiny door shut.
Jordan Myrick
I slam it.
Kendall Landrus
That's when I go. My.
Kevin McDonald
Makes you feel like a giant.
Kendall Landrus
Yeah, exactly.
Kevin McDonald
Real Captain Morgan over here.
Jordan Myrick
I love that this person says, I find myself filling the masculine role in all of my lesbian relationships. Any advice? And my impulse is to say, does that make you upset? Because I. I guess if you like that, I think that's totally fine. I think a big thing about the three things that we just said that kind of illustrates it is masculinity is, like, kind of made up. Right. Like, it's it's doesn't. What does it really mean if you stop and break it down? It's like almost kind of nothing, right? Like, if, like, fixing something without reading instructions and sucking on a whole fish are both giving you that same vibe. It's like, what is masculinity?
Kendall Landrus
I do think we have to say your answer is kind weird, so it's hard to.
Jordan Myrick
I'm not taking notes today. Thank you.
Kendall Landrus
I just got beyond kind of a example of what we're talking about.
Jordan Myrick
But.
Kendall Landrus
No, but I agree with you.
Jordan Myrick
If you don't, like, if you feel like your partner is making you be, quote, unquote, the boy, and that doesn't sit well with you, just have a talk with your partner about it.
Kevin McDonald
This is literally what I mean. When everyone wants mommy's milkers or daddy's love. If you are the person who's solely responsible for giving daddy's love, but you want mommy milkers, that needs to be communicated.
Jordan Myrick
Yeah. And also, you might need to take a look at yourself. Are you providing, to use the term, daddy's love? Do you know what I mean? Like, is that. Do you immediately come in bringing those.
Kendall Landrus
Things and are you asking for mommy's milk?
Jordan Myrick
Yeah. And then are you upset when people only want you for masculine stuff? When you're coming in giving all masculine stuff? Maybe you need to kind of reassess, like, what you're giving versus what you actually want. Or maybe you need to communicate with your partner that you want something different than what's being given. Or maybe you like what you're given and you're just like, is this weird? And that the answer is no?
Kevin McDonald
Yeah. To that, add a strap on. Let's go. Hell yeah.
Jordan Myrick
Do whatever. Nothing matters. Live your life. Okay, I have the next question for you. Is it possible to have an equitable division of labor in a relationship with a CIS het man?
Kevin McDonald
Good luck, diva. Oh, yes. Yes.
Jordan Myrick
I don't know. I think both our responses are. Are correct.
Kendall Landrus
What do you think?
Kevin McDonald
Think there's so many variables because it's like, what do you guys do for work? How often are you home? What do you want the home to look like? Do you want it? 50. 50. Are you cool with a. You make more money. So I stay at home more often with a 3070 split, like, it just. It's so different. I mean, I think the best thing to do is start at 5050 and then just see where your comfort zone lies. But I'm no therapist, and none of us are.
Jordan Myrick
And that's what's so Important to remember about this Dude Wipes podcast is that none of us are therapists. But I'm like, it. Anything can be anything you want it to be. As. As corny as that sounds.
Kevin McDonald
Yeah.
Jordan Myrick
I'm like, my parents have.
Kendall Landrus
Oh, yeah.
Jordan Myrick
An equal division of labor. I think my parents do a good job with it, and I've seen other straight couples do a good job with it. I think the most important thing is being on the same page about what you both consider labor.
Kevin McDonald
Yeah.
Jordan Myrick
Because I think sometimes, like, one of you is doing something that the other one doesn't see as labor or feel is labor, and it's like, you need to be on the same page as that. But, like, my parents do totally. And my parents, I would say, don't even do necessarily the traditionally, like, masculine feminine roles. You know what I mean? Like, my mom does a lot of traditionally masculine stuff. My dad does a lot of traditionally feminine stuff. But I think my parents are very much on the same page about how much work the other person does.
Kevin McDonald
For sure. I think that, like, the line in the sand, I think, is if a man thinks that doing more work equals, like, oppression for him, like, asking for more is not the, like, the death sentence that you think it is. It's actually just kind of like, bringing you up to speed with everyone else, and it just, like, depends on how willing they are to have that conversation.
Kendall Landrus
Well, right. But then it's so hard because, I mean, first response is like, of course it's possible to do that. But at the same time, I think, and I don't mean to be a Debbie Downer, but I think sometimes I'm like, it feels really hard because the mental labor that is happening is still there. And I feel like when you have a guy that really is like, I want to do good feminism, it still. That also puts back a bunch of labor on to the woman in the relationship. Do you know what I mean?
Kevin McDonald
Yeah.
Kendall Landrus
And I think even, like, you'll see, I mean, every straight couple in our lives, in our life that we're close with is wonderful. And I feel like in their personal relationship, I'm like, yeah, that feels 50. 50. That feels great.
Jordan Myrick
Yeah.
Kendall Landrus
And when you watch them have kids, I'm always just surprised by how everyone reacts to the father. Do you know what I mean? Where it's like, he picks up the child, and they're like, he's such a good dad.
Kevin McDonald
He's such a good dad.
Kendall Landrus
And I am like, to me, that's even. Which. That's not even something you can Control. So it's like, what are you gonna do about it? But that's also inequality in labor, because it's like, we have one person doing the same thing and getting all of this. This adoration and love and one person not getting it. And that does build up to, like, emotional labor.
Kevin McDonald
Totally.
Kendall Landrus
And I hate using the word emotional labor because it makes me feel like Gen Z, which I am.
Kevin McDonald
Oh, I know. I'm like. We were talking about, like, trauma earlier from the pandemic and stuff, and I'm like, nothing makes me feel more than, like, a stupid, stupid dum dum than being like, I'm traumatized. Something that happened. My parents didn't love me, and I was like, come on. Get over yourself. So. But it's real.
Jordan Myrick
Absolutely.
Kendall Landrus
I mean, that's like, when I go to the doctor, and they're like, it says here you have adhd. And I feel, like, the need to be like, yeah, but, like, I actually, like, I have, like, went to the. I actually got a diagnosis. I've had it for, like, a long time. Way before school.
Kevin McDonald
Super functioning. And also, like, very smart about it.
Jordan Myrick
Yeah.
Kendall Landrus
The doctor's like, I do not care.
Jordan Myrick
Are you Gen Z?
Kevin McDonald
No. Thank you, though.
Jordan Myrick
You're welcome.
Kendall Landrus
Are you Gen X? Just kidding.
Kevin McDonald
Oh, my goodness.
Jordan Myrick
Everybody thinks Kendall's so nice.
Kevin McDonald
We are gonna watch you punch a hole in a wall by the end of this episode.
Jordan Myrick
No, I would say it's really shocking to me when people get so mad. I really almost never get mad.
Kendall Landrus
Wait, what are you talking about?
Kevin McDonald
I just.
Jordan Myrick
Men punching holes in walls.
Kendall Landrus
Oh, yeah. I thought you were still talking about the other thing.
Jordan Myrick
I was like, what do you mean?
Kendall Landrus
That makes sense.
Jordan Myrick
No, just think of that. I just almost never feel mad.
Kevin McDonald
Well. Cause why? How embarrassing. You're uncontrollably mad right now. Why?
Kendall Landrus
The only time I get it is when I went on, when I got on Vyvanse, and it really opened my eyes up because I got on Vyvanse and they put me on, like, a really high dosage because I needed it, but then I had to get on a lower dosage because I was like, it's making me. It was the first time I understood, like, wanting to punch a hole through a wall and not for any reason.
Kevin McDonald
Yeah.
Jordan Myrick
I'd be like, they're out of the sour cream right now at Taco Bell. And Kendall be like, I'm gonna kill you.
Kevin McDonald
See, I'm just too. I'm too insecure. Everything is inward. So, like, all of my problems stem from me thinking that I'm dumb, I'm lame, I'm not good enough. So rarely is there ever a case where I'm like, you're the problem. It's always just like, you're right, I'm stupid.
Kendall Landrus
Yeah, they're out of the sour cream. You're like, I just couldn't fucking find it. Probably.
Kevin McDonald
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Kendall Landrus
Well, you shouldn't.
Jordan Myrick
You're stop that.
Kevin McDonald
You're right, I'll stop. Thank you.
Jordan Myrick
Yeah, I think. Think you gotta work on that. I'm sure no one's told you, but you gotta work on that. This person wants to know how to help their male partner. Work on some internalized messaging about being a quote unquote real man.
Kevin McDonald
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Kevin McDonald
Okay, how do they help? Stop. Stop being a little puss.
Jordan Myrick
Yes, tell your male partners stop being puss.
Kevin McDonald
What do you mean?
Jordan Myrick
Like, I think they're meaning like their partner has a lot of weird internalized like stuff tied to being a quote unquote real man. And they're like, how do I get help my partner get past that?
Kevin McDonald
I mean that's the thing. I. Figuring out what you like and what you don't like, I think is important. If you're doing something because you think other people need you to do it, then it might not be that important to do regarding, you know, vibes, masculinity. But I think like that's the thing. I think there's plenty of healthy real man outlets that you can do. Like I feel like if I want to feel masculine, like lifting weights is a great way to do that but also like going to a gun range or something and just like, just like having something, having something funny though how.
Kendall Landrus
It really at the core because I feel the same. I've never been to a gun range But I would be like, if I was chopping wood, I would feel very masculine. And it's like, like, what is that?
Jordan Myrick
It's like, it's a core.
Kendall Landrus
I can be as, like, gender as a made up construct as I want. And then all of a sudden I'm like, give me an ax.
Kevin McDonald
It's.
Kendall Landrus
And I am, daddy.
Jordan Myrick
It doesn't make sense.
Kendall Landrus
Do you feel like at being a personal trainer, you meet, I'm sure, many, many people who are there for the same reason. Like, as a personal trainer, do you feel like you get a lot of clients where you're like, feel weird about the reasons they're coming? As a man, where you're like, this is kind of embarrassing. Do you know what I mean?
Kevin McDonald
No, I'm never like, wow, you're embarrassing. Honestly, like a good 60 of the people that come to me, I'm like, no, no, baby, you need a therapist. Like, that's not what I'm wondering.
Kendall Landrus
Like, if they're like, coming, being like, I want to be a real guy. Yeah.
Kevin McDonald
I used to joke with my ex because he was a therapist, and I was like, we should have a joint business where they come to me, feel terrible about themselves, and then I. They take a shower and I send them to you and you talk about why they feel terrible and we make twice as much.
Jordan Myrick
That would be a really good business.
Kevin McDonald
Yeah. Just one studio. Just cycle them through. Like a car wash. Yeah, it is, it is crazy how just people, they, they, they just invent the ideal and then will always leverage themselves against that. That.
Kendall Landrus
Yeah.
Kevin McDonald
And I mean, personal training. I feel like I'm like the. Just a guard on the front lines of like, no, no, we're not bad because we gained a pound. Like, hey, oh. Like, just guarding those soccer balls from entering the.
Kendall Landrus
Yeah.
Kevin McDonald
The goal of discrimination, I feel like.
Jordan Myrick
What you need to do is you need to sit your partner down and then you need to open Tick tock and you need to type in real men into the search bar and then make your partner watch the first, like 10 videos. My guess is they'll be the most embarrassing videos you could ever possibly imagine. And I think your partner will be like, oh, this is what people who think they're, quote, unquote, real men are behaving like. This is so embarrassing. I need to distance myself from this.
Kevin McDonald
I do wonder how much it's related to sexualization though, because it's like, how many, like, real man, like, workout channels are also just like, like softcore porn for people?
Kendall Landrus
Sure. A hundred percent. There's a lot of stuff like that on the Internet.
Kevin McDonald
Yeah.
Kendall Landrus
I'm watching it, and I'm like, something about this feels pornographic.
Kevin McDonald
Absolutely. Oh, those cooking videos where people are just, like, slapping bread around and they're.
Kendall Landrus
Like, you're gonna put the hot dog in the pot.
Jordan Myrick
Yeah. I've read so many think pieces and watch so many videos about how those are, like, voyeurism porn.
Kendall Landrus
And, like, that is another group of people on the Internet that. I'm jealous. I did not do that. Instead of doing coffee comedy, I'm like, if I could just stick pasta and hot dogs and have Jordan film it and be like, yummy, yummy, and we were millionaires.
Jordan Myrick
Take a roll of crescent dough and just slap it on the counter over and over again. Mansion. Huge mistake that we didn't do that.
Kendall Landrus
But I think that it's also hard because. And I. I just feel like you probably have to deal with so much emotions as a. As a personal trainer, because I think the first question a personal trainer always asks, they're like, what are you wanting to accomplish? And I feel like you must get insane answers where people show you a photo of, like, doing the Rock Johnson or like, I want to be this so my wife doesn't leave me.
Kevin McDonald
It totally depends. Yeah. Because it's like, the most frustrating thing is either people asking if I think someone else is on steroids, because they're just asking for my. If. If I'm allowing them to compare themselves to them, like, if they're on steroids, then they don't have to treat that as the ideal. But if they're not, then I should be able to achieve that. So it's like, I. I have to kind of. It's mostly. It's less people, like, breaking down in front of me and more people just being like, is it all right if I believe that I'm worthless if I don't look like this? And then I have to say no sometimes. Yes.
Jordan Myrick
Now, I do want to know how many people are on steroids. Like, what's the.
Kevin McDonald
So many. Oh, my God. So many.
Jordan Myrick
Really?
Kevin McDonald
So many.
Kendall Landrus
I'm not as obvious as you think, right? Because people have a picture in their head, and it's like, well, that's a lot of steroids.
Kevin McDonald
The thing is, like, we idolize a body that is so unobtainable already, and we say that's normal. So, like, we look at, like, Chris Pratt in Jurassic park, and we're like, that's the ideal body. Right. Meanwhile, he's been working out with the trainer for Years he's doing all this stuff. So it's like, already we're starting at an unattainable place. And then we look at people who are past that and being like, have they been altered in some way? Actually, what I like to see is like, I don't consider it whether you're juicing or not to be the question. I kind of look at your resources. So do you have more time in your day than someone else who works a 9 to 5? Do you have time to spend two hours in the gym every day? Do you have money to buy all the food that is necessary to build? Like, the resources that you're allowed make a bigger difference than just the things you inject in your arm. And I think there's not enough attention to like, the economics of a daily procedure to that, like, once people kind of see, like, oh, they spent this much on their lunch, they did this much at the gym, they only had this many calories, they'll kind. They'll begin to see how unrelatable the, like, fitness lifestyle is. And I think that's a better way to recognize whether or not you can take advice from someone. Because it's like, who cares if someone's on steroids? They're gonna look better than you anyway. Because being fitness is their job.
Kendall Landrus
Right, but then how. Right, because then isn't every influencer. Most fitness influencers, though, they're giving advice to someone who, yeah, sucks right now, Only does that.
Kevin McDonald
Yep. They're like, why don't you eat less, you dumb piece of. I do. And it's like, well, gosh, isn't that just wonderful?
Jordan Myrick
Well, it's like, it's like the same thing with plastic surgery, right? Where it's like, I look at all these celebrities and I'm like, why don't I look like that? And I'm like, oh, because I, like, work a job and have a life and like, do things. It's not my job to be, you know. Right.
Kendall Landrus
I mean, I got this breast reduction. I feel like it's consumed my whole life. Me too. Well, I mean, two weeks, I'm not. Today's my two week mark of when I got the surgery.
Kevin McDonald
Congratulations.
Kendall Landrus
Thank you so much. And it's like, hurts so bad. I like, can't lift anything at all. I'm not allowed to lift anything. I have stitches all in me right now. And so I haven't been able to do so much. And I think of these people who get all of these procedures done and they're getting this exact type of Procedure all over their body. And they have, like, three kids. And I'm like, how are you doing this?
Jordan Myrick
Yeah. I mean, I've had to take off work. My mom took off work to come down and help with it. Like, it's so time consuming. It's such a financial privilege whatever, just to have this, like, one thing. So it really is looking a certain way is a lifestyle.
Kevin McDonald
Yeah, absolutely.
Jordan Myrick
And I think also being looking like, quote, unquote, masculine can also be very much a lifestyle. And I think, once again, like.
Kendall Landrus
And it's infiltrated the lesbian scene now.
Kevin McDonald
I'm so sorry.
Kendall Landrus
I feel like. Do you feel like you're getting more lesbian clients who are like, I want to be jacked?
Kevin McDonald
No, the lesbians.
Kendall Landrus
After I saw Lovelies Bleeding, I literally turned to Jordan in the theater and I went, I'm gonna look like that. And then I went to the gym every day.
Kevin McDonald
Yeah, fair enough. All the lesbians I know, like. Like, say, oh, hey. And then they. They let me do my stupid little things in the corner. They're above it. They don't. They do not care what they don't do.
Kendall Landrus
The trainers, like, they're self training. You feel like.
Kevin McDonald
I actually. I have a very good friend, like a lesbian trainer herself, and so, I mean, she's taking all my clients.
Jordan Myrick
Yeah, I love that.
Kevin McDonald
Sorry.
Kendall Landrus
I do.
Jordan Myrick
No. There is a lot of toxic masculinity in the lesbian community sometimes. And I do feel like it's bled into body stuff in such a way where now it's like, so often, I don't know, I'm just like, I miss a fat butch. Like, what's happening to the community? Like, it's become a fan community. I'm serious. Because now people will be like, oh, like, butch mask. Da, da, whatever. And then they show me a photo of Cara Delevingne wearing a baseball cap, and I'm like, what are we talking about?
Kevin McDonald
Yeah. I mean, the Internet truly thinks, like, Billie Eilish in a big T shirt is as butch as you can get.
Jordan Myrick
It's sick.
Kevin McDonald
I do think we just go in in waves because in order for people to sell things, to sell either the ideal, the body, the procedures, the pills, you have to look different than how people already do. So, like, Kim Kardashian got rid of her BBL after everyone got a bbl, and now it's like, Skinny's back, baby. And so I think it's just constantly shifting those goal posts, man.
Jordan Myrick
Absolutely devastating. Okay, well, we have a bunch more questions about toxic masculinity, but ultimately the episode is over, but we have a 30 minute Patreon minisode and Kevin's gonna stick around for that. So if you're interested, go join our Patreon and listen.
Kendall Landrus
Please do. And if you're deciding not to do that and you're ending our journey here, make sure to give us a review as a making. To make up for not joining our Patreon, give us a review on Spotify or, or Apple podcasts or really anywhere you get your podcast. We're on Pandora podcast now. We're all over anywhere you get your podcast. If you're on YouTube, make sure to subscribe. Subscribe and like, and comment. And most importantly, make sure to have a great week.
Jordan Myrick
Yeah, we're in the Spotify offices. As always, we love it here. And Kevin, thank you so much for being here. Make sure everyone will include his. All his stuff in the bio, but go follow Kevin.
Kevin McDonald
Thank you so much. Yeah, it's an honor to be here, you guys.
Kendall Landrus
Oh, my God. Enough. All right, bye.
Happy Wife Happy Life – Episode Summary: Dating & Toxic Masculinity (w/ Kevin McDonald)
Release Date: February 24, 2025
In this compelling episode of Happy Wife Happy Life, hosts Kendahl Landrus and Jordan Myrick delve deep into the intricate dynamics of toxic masculinity within the realm of dating and relationships. Featuring special guest Kevin McDonald, renowned comedian and actor from Monet's show Monet's Slumber Party, the conversation blends humor with insightful analysis, offering listeners a nuanced perspective on masculinity in modern relationships.
The episode kicks off with Kendahl and Jordan warmly welcoming Kevin McDonald. The hosts express their admiration for Kevin's role as the "sexy mailman" and share their initial surprise upon meeting him. This light-hearted introduction sets the tone for a candid and engaging discussion.
Notable Quote:
Jordan Myrick [01:25]: "We're so happy to have you. I know you as the song sexy mailman from Monet's show on Dropout."
The conversation swiftly transitions to the core topic: toxic masculinity. Kendahl and Jordan seek Kevin's insights on how societal expectations of masculinity impact relationships, especially from the vantage point of a gay man navigating these norms.
Kevin McDonald [02:21]:
"I think it all comes down to, like, sex and power. Like, when you come out as a woman, there's not a lot of like sexual drive that inspires it. Like it has to come from inside, has to come from like what you love, what you're interested in."
Kevin articulates the pressures men face to conform to traditional masculine roles, often leading to insecure behaviors and strained relationships. He underscores the importance of self-awareness and genuine self-expression over adhering to societal expectations.
In an entertaining twist, the hosts introduce their humorous segment, U Haul One Night Stand Ghost, aiming to highlight exaggerated manifestations of toxic masculinity through playful examples. This segment serves as both a comedic break and a tool to illustrate the often absurd standards imposed on men.
Notable Interaction:
Kevin McDonald [12:26]: "Pump gas with a guy stance. Just a nice hell stance."
The playful banter in this segment effectively underscores the sometimes ridiculous lengths to which individuals go to exhibit traditional masculinity.
The trio addresses several listener-submitted questions, offering practical advice intertwined with humor. These questions range from dealing with past toxic relationships to achieving an equitable division of labor in partnerships.
Dealing with Toxic Masculinity Trauma: A listener shares her distress over an ex who exhibited aggressive behaviors like punching walls. Kevin emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries and encouraging open communication to manage such triggers.
Kevin McDonald [36:38]:
"If someone is directing anger towards you and it is not your responsibility to take it, like, that's unacceptable and it needs to be dealt with."
Equitable Division of Labor with Cis Het Men: Kendahl and Kevin discuss the challenges of balancing household responsibilities in relationships with heterosexual men. They advocate for open dialogue and flexibility to ensure both partners feel valued and supported.
Kevin McDonald [46:30]:
"The best thing to do is start at 50-50 and then just see where your comfort zone lies."
A significant portion of the discussion centers on the influence of social media and fitness influencers in shaping contemporary notions of masculinity. Kevin critiques the often unrealistic body standards perpetuated online, highlighting the additional pressures this places on men to achieve and maintain these ideals.
Notable Quote:
Kevin McDonald [57:42]: "We idolize a body that is so unobtainable already, and we say that's normal."
He further explores how economic factors, such as the resources required for fitness and body enhancement, contribute to feelings of inadequacy among men striving to meet these standards.
Towards the episode's conclusion, the conversation shifts towards redefining what constitutes healthy masculinity. Kevin and the hosts advocate for a masculinity rooted in love, compassion, and self-awareness, rather than dominance and power.
Kevin McDonald [40:06]:
"The answer to power is love. In order to use power properly, you need love and compassion, and I think that's it."
They emphasize that masculinity should be about personal growth and mutual respect within relationships, moving away from harmful stereotypes and towards more inclusive and supportive behaviors.
As the episode wraps up, Kendahl and Jordan reflect on the multifaceted nature of masculinity and its implications on relationships. They encourage listeners to engage in open conversations and challenge societal norms to foster healthier, more equitable partnerships.
Kendahl Landrus [60:43]:
"There is a lot of toxic masculinity in the lesbian community sometimes. And I do feel like it's bled into body stuff in such a way..."
The hosts express gratitude to Kevin McDonald for his candid contributions, leaving listeners with actionable insights and a deeper understanding of navigating toxic masculinity in dating and relationships.
Self-Awareness Over Stereotypes: Emphasizing the importance of understanding one's own motivations and emotions rather than conforming to rigid masculine norms.
Open Communication: Encouraging honest dialogue between partners to address and manage toxic behaviors effectively.
Redefining Masculinity: Advocating for a version of masculinity that is inclusive, compassionate, and supportive, breaking away from traditional and often harmful stereotypes.
Impact of Social Media: Critiquing the role of online influencers in perpetuating unrealistic body standards and the pressure it places on individuals.
This episode of Happy Wife Happy Life offers a balanced mix of humor and serious discussion, making complex topics like toxic masculinity accessible and relatable. Whether you're navigating your own relationships or seeking to understand the broader societal pressures on masculinity, this episode provides valuable insights and thoughtful advice.
Notable Quotes and Timestamps:
Jordan Myrick [01:25]: "We're so happy to have you. I know you as the song sexy mailman from Monet's show on Dropout."
Kevin McDonald [02:21]: "I think it all comes down to, like, sex and power..."
Kevin McDonald [40:06]: "The answer to power is love..."
Kevin McDonald [57:42]: "We idolize a body that is so unobtainable already..."
Kendahl Landrus [60:43]: "There is a lot of toxic masculinity in the lesbian community sometimes..."
Follow Us: Stay updated with more insightful discussions on relationships by subscribing to Happy Wife Happy Life on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, YouTube, and other major podcast platforms.