The Ultimate Q&Gay w/ Alyssa & Lauren

Summary

Podcast Summary: Happy Wife Happy Life – "The Ultimate Q&Gay w/ Alyssa & Lauren"

Episode Details

• Title: Happy Wife Happy Life
• Hosts: Kendahl Landriff and Jordan Myrick
• Guests: Alyssa & Lauren
• Release Date: November 11, 2024

In this lively episode of Happy Wife Happy Life, hosts Kendahl Landriff and Jordan Myrick welcome guests Alyssa and Lauren for "The Ultimate Q&Gay" segment. The conversation delves into personal relationships, navigating the LGBTQIA community, dating challenges, and building meaningful connections—all infused with the hosts' trademark humor and candidness.

---

1. Personal Journeys and Relationship Dynamics

The episode kicks off with Alyssa and Lauren sharing their love story, highlighting how digital platforms like TikTok played a pivotal role in their meeting.

• Jordan Myrick shares, “[07:24] ...I was in love with her, and I'm checking her bio to see if she's queer.”
• Alyssa adds, “[07:33] ...I was commenting. I was saying, you're hilarious, mama. This changed my life.”

Their narrative underscores the modern pathways to love, emphasizing persistence and authentic connection.

---

2. Navigating Public Spaces: The Great Bathroom Debate

A significant portion of the discussion humorously tackles the complexities of using public bathrooms, particularly in malls.

• Alyssa describes her favorite mall restroom: “[02:03] ...it's just glamorous. Very soft hand towels.”
• Kendall Landriff expresses frustration: “[04:49] ...this feels like I work in. I'm in the kitchen. This feels like this shouldn't be allowed hygienically.”

The hosts and guests share relatable anecdotes about bathroom etiquette, blending practical advice with comedic relief.

---

3. Building and Cultivating Communities

Moving beyond personal anecdotes, the conversation shifts to effective strategies for meeting and connecting with other lesbians and non-binary individuals, especially when relocating to new cities like Seattle.

• Jordan Myrick advises, “[12:38] ...when a day doesn't go well, but you did vibe, you could be like, it's kind of a friend vibe. Do you want to hang out?”
• Alyssa emphasizes embracing hobbies: “[14:33] ...meeting new gay people is, like, really embracing hobbies.”

This segment offers actionable tips for fostering community bonds, highlighting the importance of shared interests and genuine interactions.

---

4. Dating in the Digital Age: Apps and Beyond

Alyssa and Lauren delve into the challenges and opportunities presented by dating apps, discussing their effectiveness and alternatives.

• Jordan Myrick remarks, “[37:36] ...join a softball league. Go to like, a knitting circle at a bar.”
• Alyssa concurs, “[38:43] ...if the apps are not working for you, you can really meet people in person.”

The dialogue underscores the notion that while apps are a common tool, expanding one's social activities can lead to more meaningful connections.

---

5. Emotional Labor and Relationship Communication

The hosts explore the concept of emotional labor within relationships, offering insights on maintaining healthy communication and personal boundaries.

• Lauren shares, “[18:19] ...you do have some bad qualities, and most people do. You have to work on being your best self.”
• Jordan Myrick advises, “[20:30] ...if someone is annoying you and you feel like you're having to do emotional labor, just talk to someone else.”

This section emphasizes self-awareness and mutual respect as cornerstones of enduring relationships.

---

6. Hosting with Heart: Eco-Friendly Party Tips

Alyssa and Lauren discuss their experiences with hosting parties, balancing aesthetic appeal with environmental consciousness.

• Kendall Landriff reveals, “[25:08] ...small food items. Napkins.”
• Alyssa adds practical advice: “[25:19] Small food items. Napkins.”

The conversation provides listeners with creative ideas for hosting memorable yet sustainable gatherings.

---

7. Handling Friend Crushes and Moving On

The episode addresses the delicate topic of friend crushes, offering strategies to navigate unreciprocated feelings without damaging friendships.

• Jordan Myrick suggests, “[46:10] ...stop talking to her.”
• Lauren emphasizes, “[46:48] ...mute button exists for a reason. You do not have to let them know.”

These insights aim to help individuals maintain emotional well-being while preserving valuable friendships.

---

8. Making Moves in the LGBTQIA Community

Wrapping up the Q&A, Alyssa and Lauren provide practical advice on how to approach romantic advances within the LGBTQIA community without appearing awkward or intrusive.

• Lauren recommends, “[56:03] ...start with three strong compliments peppered into the small talk you're making.”
• Alyssa adds, “[56:53] ...get them alone. Invite them to a restaurant, invite them to the movies.”

The tips focus on sincerity and clarity, encouraging individuals to express their interest respectfully and confidently.

---

9. Promoting Creativity and Community Projects

Before concluding, Alyssa and Lauren promote their upcoming web series, Pain in the Neck, a vampire comedy that celebrates queer love without tragic endings.

• Alyssa enthuses, “[62:06] ...we have a vampire comedy. It's a little rom-com web series called Pain in the Neck.”
• Jordan Myrick adds, “[62:32] ...they don't die. Our characters are already like, we know we're gay.”

Listeners are encouraged to support the project via their Kickstarter, fostering community engagement and creative expression.

---

Conclusion

This episode of Happy Wife Happy Life beautifully intertwines heartfelt advice with humor, providing valuable insights into relationships within the LGBTQIA community. Alyssa and Lauren's candid discussions, combined with the hosts' comedic flair, create an engaging and informative listening experience for anyone navigating the complexities of love and friendship.

Notable Quotes:

• Lauren: “Start with three strong compliments peppered into the small talk you're making that are very clear.” [56:03]
• Jordan Myrick: “If someone is annoying you and you feel like you're having to do emotional labor, just talk to someone else.” [20:30]
• Alyssa: “Meeting new gay people is, like, really embracing hobbies.” [14:33]

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Happy Wife Happy Life continues to be a go-to resource for those seeking relatable and humorous guidance in their love lives. Tune in for more episodes filled with laughter, wisdom, and authentic conversations.

Transcript

[Kendall Landriff]

What's the best time of day to get a deal? All day with Jack in the box's all day.

[Jordan Myrick]

Big deal meal. You get to choose from four entrees like the supreme croissant and five tasty.

[Kendall Landriff]

Sides, plus a drink starting at $5.

[Jordan Myrick]

So hurry in or take your time.

[Kendall Landriff]

You've got all day at Jack.

[Jordan Myrick]

Every bite's a big deal.

[Kendall Landriff]

Welcome to Happy Wife, Happy life. We're your hosts. I'm Kendall Landriff.

[Lauren]

And I'm Jordan Myrick.

[Kendall Landriff]

And we are two incredibly unqualified but.

[Lauren]

Deeply in love comed who are here to help you with all things relationships. And today we are doing the ultimate Q and gay with Lauren and Alyssa. Lauren. Hello, Alyssa.

[Alyssa]

Hi. Nice to see you.

[Lauren]

We are so happy to have both of you here today.

[Alyssa]

We're so glad to be here with you. Thank you for having us.

[Lauren]

You know, it's a bad day. You know, this comes out. If you're listening to this, it's Monday, but we recorded this on Wednesday and that Wednesday was the day right after the election.

[Alyssa]

Yeah, we hate today.

[Jordan Myrick]

And today is horrible and putrid.

[Lauren]

I think we should just get that out of the way, you know, and move forward with this episode.

[Kendall Landriff]

But honestly, we were excited. Cause this morning we woke up and we were like, you know, I think it's good we have this to come do because it gets us out of the house and we get to come spend it with you and have a gay old.

[Jordan Myrick]

There's definitely something good about wallowing, but there's something good about being forced to go to a prior commitment.

[Kendall Landriff]

Yes, exactly.

[Lauren]

We did have to work all day and I think that kept me from ending it all.

[Kendall Landriff]

Yeah.

[Jordan Myrick]

Okay.

[Alyssa]

And after this, my mom is coming to stay at our house this evening. But she's fabulous.

[Kendall Landriff]

She's fabulous.

[Lauren]

Okay.

[Kendall Landriff]

I love that.

[Jordan Myrick]

So tiny woman. You can't be sad around her.

[Kendall Landriff]

Oh, I love that. What's like your go to thing to do with your mom?

[Alyssa]

Go to the mall. Oh, we love the mall. Get lunch, get an iced tea at the mall. Walk around, go to the bathroom in Tiffany's.

[Lauren]

What is.

[Kendall Landriff]

Oh, at Tiffany's.

[Alyssa]

Yeah, they have the best bathroom.

[Lauren]

Wait, tell us more about the Tiffany's bathroom, please.

[Alyssa]

Well, it's just glamorous. You go in, you pretend to, like, look at something. I always look at the charms.

[Jordan Myrick]

Then I'm.

[Alyssa]

Then I make my way to the bathroom. It's lovely.

[Kendall Landriff]

Wait, that's good to know. I had no idea.

[Alyssa]

Very soft hand towels.

[Lauren]

Is it stalls or is it one big room?

[Alyssa]

One Big room.

[Lauren]

And you're saying that as a positive?

[Jordan Myrick]

Yes.

[Kendall Landriff]

Do you like stalls? I need a stall.

[Lauren]

We need a stall.

[Kendall Landriff]

I need it to be okay if I'm there for free.

[Alyssa]

Okay.

[Lauren]

Because once if you're in a space where it's the only bathroom, I feel so much guilt because I'm like, what if someone is immediately outside the door having an IBS situation, as I currently am inside the bathroom.

[Kendall Landriff]

Well. And the whole time I'm in the bathroom, even if it's only been a couple minutes, I'm like, there's a line of 20 people being like, what's going on in there?

[Jordan Myrick]

And then you have to walk of shame out.

[Kendall Landriff]

And then you have to walk, and everyone knows how long you've been in there. And it just feel. It's very overwhelming.

[Alyssa]

Well, I feel like people are very intimidated by the fancy mall bathrooms. Cause I feel like usually when you go to the mall, there's an area with the stalls, and then there are some bathrooms within the stores. I love, like, a William Sonoma bathroom. I love Tiffany's bathroom. I love a Pottery Barn bathroom.

[Kendall Landriff]

Because people aren't going, God, I have to explore bathrooms. Cause I haven't gone into any of these. I always go to the public mall bathroom where they have the stained couches. Like the white couches that are just covered in dirt.

[Jordan Myrick]

Yes. No. The recent tack that I have found via this is like, yeah, when you're at. At a certain mall, at the Century City Mall, don't go to the. The plebe bathroom. Go into Bloomingdale's. Yes. Go to their. The department store bathrooms. And it's always like a quiet woman, like, sitting there waiting for her daughter to finish peeing. But other than that, it's fair game. No one's in there.

[Lauren]

Wow. I'm in the same boat as Kendall. I had no clue that there were store bathrooms inside the mall.

[Alyssa]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

Feels unnecessary, but it feels unnecessary for the store to do it is.

[Jordan Myrick]

But because the Richie Richos don't want to slum it with the people going to Forever 21.

[Kendall Landriff]

It's because they say, does Forever 21 have a bathroom?

[Jordan Myrick]

No, I don't think so.

[Lauren]

No.

[Jordan Myrick]

Those people have to go to the mall bathroom.

[Alyssa]

Did you guys know that Trader Joe's has a bathroom? This is something I recently learned.

[Kendall Landriff]

Every Trader Joe bathroom, they seem like a employees only type.

[Alyssa]

No.

[Kendall Landriff]

What?

[Alyssa]

You can go, which one?

[Kendall Landriff]

No, mama.

[Lauren]

All of them. All of them?

[Jordan Myrick]

All of them. But it's kind of like. It's kind of in an area that does seem employees only, but it is a public restroom. Just saying.

[Kendall Landriff]

Well, I hate when you go into a. You're like, oh, you have a bathroom. And they're like, I don't hate it. Cause I appreciate that they're letting me use the bathroom. But, like, we went to a ramen place recently, and I was like, oh, do you have a bathroom? And they're like, yeah, it's down that hallway and to the right. And I had to walk through the full kitchen, and then I had to go past all of everyone's backpacks, like, all the employees. And then you go into the bathroom, and I'm like, this feels like I work in. I'm in the kitchen. This feels like this shouldn't be allowed hygienically. Like, who knows where I've been?

[Jordan Myrick]

I should put you on payroll.

[Lauren]

Exactly.

[Jordan Myrick]

I shouldn't be paid.

[Alyssa]

I hate a sink between two bathrooms. Do you know what I mean?

[Lauren]

Yes.

[Alyssa]

I hate the outside. And then. And then the restaurant. Like, I feel like it's always, like, a true food or, like, wherever. And then everybody sees you washing your hands.

[Lauren]

What I don't like is when there's a communal bathroom sink, but there's also a sink in the bathroom itself. Because then when you walk out of the bathroom and don't wash your hands at the communal sink because you've already washed it in the bathroom, people think you didn't wash your hands.

[Jordan Myrick]

They call you duty hands.

[Lauren]

They scream that as you. They scream that at you.

[Jordan Myrick]

You get in your hand. You get in your car, you drive away. They do the hands.

[Lauren]

You have to crash your car inside of a mountain because people won't stop calling you that.

[Kendall Landriff]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

We're so excited to have you on the episode today. This is going to be so fun. I mean, you two are queer icons on the Internet. You're constantly giving people wonderful, incredible LGBTQIA advice. Hope you're also both so cute and fun. You're a great couple. We were like, we gotta get them on to do kind of an ultimate of a segment that we do, which is the Q and Gay, which is a Q and A specifically for gay questions.

[Alyssa]

Oh, we're familiar.

[Jordan Myrick]

Those are the only questions I answered.

[Kendall Landriff]

Yes.

[Lauren]

So we were like, we gotta get them on.

[Jordan Myrick]

Well, thank you for having us. I feel the same about you too. I love you guys so much. And also, we were obsessed with food.

[Alyssa]

And I feel like you were both going to the most fabulous restaurants.

[Jordan Myrick]

I'm always seeing, like, best bites that I've eaten this month. Best bites of the week best bites that I had with my fiance. I'm like. I'm like, yes, tell me. Tell me.

[Alyssa]

Yes.

[Lauren]

I'm constantly biting.

[Jordan Myrick]

You are biting. You are chewing, you are swallowing, digesting.

[Lauren]

I'm doing it all.

[Jordan Myrick]

And then you're going to the mall.

[Lauren]

Bathroom, and I'm going to the mall bathroom. Absolutely.

[Jordan Myrick]

Full circle.

[Lauren]

Wow.

[Kendall Landriff]

Wait, when did you guys meet? How long have you been together?

[Jordan Myrick]

We have been together for two years, almost two and a half years. But we. And we met in person in 2022. But the first time I ever saw Alyssa's first face was in 2020 on my TikTok FYP. Yes.

[Kendall Landriff]

Wow.

[Lauren]

What was the vid.

[Jordan Myrick]

Oh, my God. Okay. One of the. I don't know if it's the exact first video, but one of the first videos that I distinctly remember being like, first of all, I'm obsessed with her, and. And also, I'm in love with her, and I'm checking her bio to see if she's queer. Yeah, she. She did that TikTok sound that's like, nobody's gonna know. How are they gonna know? Whatever. You know the one. And it was like me purchasing a Bedazzler, and it's like, no one's gonna know. How are they gonna know? And then it's her wearing a shirt that says, I own a Bedazzler, and it's bedazzled on. And I remember being like, this woman is the love of my life. I think, oh, my God.

[Kendall Landriff]

And then you didn't reach out.

[Alyssa]

I commented on everything.

[Jordan Myrick]

And I was commenting. I was saying, you're hilarious, mama. I was saying, this is. This changed my life.

[Kendall Landriff]

I love your post. I was reporting and blogging.

[Alyssa]

I feel like I. Like, at the time, it was like, deep pandemic. I was like, I'm afraid to reply to comments. I haven't talked to anybody in forever. But then eventually I started seeing her videos, and I was like, oh, this is a girl that's like, commenting.

[Jordan Myrick]

This is my. This is my swipe up girl.

[Kendall Landriff]

But you were ever like.

[Alyssa]

You were always like, great video friend.

[Jordan Myrick]

I love to call a person friend.

[Lauren]

That's wild.

[Alyssa]

And when we first started talking, she was like. Had so much fun hanging out with you today, friends. Well, because I didn't.

[Jordan Myrick]

I didn't.

[Lauren]

We.

[Jordan Myrick]

We hung out. I didn't know it was like, anything more than friendship.

[Alyssa]

And I came in with the intention of finding a wife.

[Lauren]

Right.

[Kendall Landriff]

And you wanted that.

[Alyssa]

Yeah.

[Kendall Landriff]

But I just.

[Jordan Myrick]

I was like. It had been like, I don't know.

[Kendall Landriff]

See, there can't be subtlety. Cause that. That was my. I mean, I seemed like a freak, but when I asked Jordan out, I was like, I want to be. I want you, your girlfriend so bad. Don't go on a date with me.

[Jordan Myrick]

And I said, okay. I know that's.

[Lauren]

I said, okay.

[Alyssa]

I was very, like, formal. Like, the night. The first night that we kissed, I was. I was gonna ask her. Like, on a formal date?

[Kendall Landriff]

Yeah.

[Alyssa]

Like, I was gonna be like, let's get dinner. And then she was just like, we should just kiss. Well, we've been, like.

[Jordan Myrick]

We've been. We've been seeing each other in person. Literally. Like, we met up for the first time. We were like, we're gonna hang out. I thought, hang out. She was like, we should get to hang together and hang out and thrift and whatever. And we, like, ate, like, an Italian restaurant, gagulato. It was great. And. And we spent so long together. And then it was literally two weeks of, like, non stop texting. Like, I've never had my messages app be the most on my screen time before. And then I was like, oh. Oh, this is crazy. So, like, two weeks of that, and then I was like, let's smooch. Yeah.

[Lauren]

You didn't want to go on a fancy dinner, though?

[Jordan Myrick]

Well, I was just. Well, okay, this is me. This is my. Truth is that one of my greatest joys in life is that, like, tension that builds where you're like, I know we're both feeling it, but no one's made a move yet. I feel like that is the most delicious, delectable. It's my favorite part in a movie when they haven't kissed yet, but they're like, oh, we want each other so bad.

[Kendall Landriff]

See, I really wish I could. If I could go back in time.

[Alyssa]

I wish I could savor that.

[Kendall Landriff]

Savor that more, because I am really bad at that. I feel like on a date, the second I would feel anything, I would be like, you're feeling this too, right? I feel like there's something going on. Like, no, subtlety kind of, like, meant.

[Lauren]

We were like, should we bust it open? Amen to that, sister.

[Jordan Myrick]

And your hand shook.

[Kendall Landriff]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We keep it really subtle in other ways.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Jordan Myrick]

Yeah.

[Kendall Landriff]

We didn't kiss for five months. Just kidding. That's not true. Anyway.

[Jordan Myrick]

Oh, so you lie.

[Kendall Landriff]

So I'm liar. It's kind of how I flirt.

[Lauren]

One thing that's funny about when we first met was that I picked Kendall up at the Burbank airport, and I was one of like, six lesbians waiting to pick up the person they were meeting for the first time with a sign outside the Burbank airport. I was like, you know what?

[Jordan Myrick]

It makes sense that it was in Burbank and not lax. Something about Bob Hope seems Sapphic.

[Kendall Landriff]

Very.

[Lauren]

Well.

[Kendall Landriff]

Cause it seems like a set of. It doesn't feel like a real airport. It's so small that there's, like, one employee and you can still, like, walk on. You, like, have to walk onto the tarmac to get onto your plane. Very.

[Jordan Myrick]

All I'm saying is honorary lesbian Bob Hope.

[Lauren]

Who is he?

[Jordan Myrick]

I have no idea.

[Lauren]

Yes.

[Jordan Myrick]

No, I do Hope Bob Hope.

[Lauren]

He's not a lesbian.

[Kendall Landriff]

Okay. You said it's your favorite part in a book when they're like, are they gonna get together? Are you guys reading the lesbian romance novels?

[Jordan Myrick]

You know, I'm having a hard time. I was literally. We're audiobook girls.

[Alyssa]

We're both reading the Honey Witch right now.

[Jordan Myrick]

I had to stop.

[Alyssa]

Yes.

[Kendall Landriff]

I applied for it on a Goodreads giveaway. Didn't win.

[Jordan Myrick]

Listen, maybe you would love it. I got through most. I think I'm at, like, 75%. And I stopped when the main couple had their first kiss because I said, this is too saccharine for me. I need there to be more angst and more longing, and it's too sweet. And I love Happy Sapphic. Of course I love.

[Kendall Landriff]

I don't. I'll say it.

[Alyssa]

I want angst.

[Jordan Myrick]

I want longing. I want. I want conflict.

[Kendall Landriff]

I want the last drama to pay. I want the epilogue to be happy.

[Alyssa]

Well, honestly, I want, like, the page before the last page to be happy and then something awful to happen on the last page. Because then I want the sequel death.

[Jordan Myrick]

Of both of them.

[Lauren]

I like that. I have to ask a question, a personal question. If you love longing.

[Jordan Myrick]

I do.

[Lauren]

So much.

[Alyssa]

Yes.

[Lauren]

But now you are in a serious, committed relationship.

[Jordan Myrick]

Yes.

[Lauren]

What do you feel about that? What's to be done?

[Jordan Myrick]

I feel happy. And I. I feel like, for me, I get my fix through, like, fictional characters now. I'm like. I'm like. I want to see other people long because I'm not longing anymore. I'm so completely satisfied and happy. But that, like, that romantic in me that wants to see people, like, reaching for each other. I just, like, watch. I watch things, I read things, and I say, I see that for you, girl.

[Lauren]

Okay. Kiki wants to know what is the best way to meet lesbians to date and cultivate a community of lesbians and non binary people. I'm moving to Seattle and I could use some guidance here.

[Jordan Myrick]

Well, when I first moved to la, I knew literally one person. And I know everyone's like, dating apps are hell. Dating apps are hell. They are. But sometimes hell is where you're finding people, and also, you don't have to stay there. I feel like when I first moved here all those years ago and I didn't know anyone, I was going on first dates like crazy. I was going on first dates after a few messages, and, you know, what happened is, like, none of them panned out romantically. But then I had a bunch of, like, gay friends. You can, especially, because I feel like this is my truth, and I think this is a hack that more Sapphics need to be using or more people in general, honestly, is like, if a day doesn't go well. But you did vibe. You could be like, it's kind of a friend vibe. Do you want to hang out? Yeah, I did that with, like, a bunch of people, and I'm still friends with them to this day.

[Kendall Landriff]

That's so nice. I feel like I was so bad about being like, not only will I I now I only feel friends. So I have to just never speak to you again. No, you got to, like, not even ever respond to. I just have to be like, never again. Why? See you.

[Jordan Myrick]

You got to, like, grab it. Because I feel like otherwise, I mean, but if you didn't vibe with them either way, then you can be like, bye, babe. But.

[Kendall Landriff]

But, no, but there were some people I'd met where I was like, oh, you're so fun. But I feel like I already we established it's a date, so I have to either do that or nothing. And it's so not true. You're right.

[Jordan Myrick]

Yeah, it is true.

[Alyssa]

I feel like a lot of times, like, dates don't work out and they're unpleasant, but you can still make a friend. I think, like, the thing that has helped me the most, like, obviously Lauren and I are together, but, like, meeting new gay people is, like, really embracing hobbies. I feel like gay people love things, and I've met, like, a lot of good friends. Like, obviously we all, like, do comedy, and I feel like the comedy space that I'm in tends to be very queer. So like, that has helped me find community. And also just, like, even going on these dates on dating apps and making friends, those people will introduce you to other gay people. Yeah, your network expands.

[Lauren]

You just need one friend to go to things with.

[Alyssa]

Exactly.

[Lauren]

And then once you're at the thing, you can Meet other people.

[Kendall Landriff]

Come on in Seattle. Yeah. It's gonna be a. You're gonna have a field day.

[Jordan Myrick]

You're gonna be crossing to find straight friends.

[Kendall Landriff]

Exactly.

[Lauren]

We have friends that used to live right next to a very famous gay bar in Seattle. And it was loud all hours of the night.

[Kendall Landriff]

It was irritating.

[Lauren]

Go there.

[Kendall Landriff]

We could sleep with the window open and. Well, I couldn't sleep, but I was happy they were having fun. So if you're. The advice I would say is go to that bar.

[Lauren]

Cause it makes noise. I wanna say it had a horse theme or a horse in the name.

[Kendall Landriff]

I think it did. Yeah. It was called like pony or something. I think it was maybe called Pony.

[Jordan Myrick]

Gay Horse Bar, Seattle Loud.

[Lauren]

Just Google that and you'll find it kind of similarly but a little different. I think it's good to also answer this question. This person said, I'm a Black trans man, 21 years old, and I'm on the spectrum. And I'm finding that all of these things combined generally makes it difficult to date and connect with people. Any advice on how to connect with people when dealing with gender struggles and neurodivergence? I think for me, you don't owe anyone anything. So you can be as private as you want about whatever you want. But for me personally, it's always benefited me in my life to be as open as possible. If I've had gender struggles, I've just been like, I'm feeling weird about some stuff right now, or I'm figuring some stuff out right now. Same thing with dating. If you're like, maybe I'm open to long term, maybe I just want short term. I don't know what I want. Just say that. Yeah, I think as long as you're being honest and communicative with people, I think you can be like, I'm on the spectrum. Sometimes it makes it hard for me to meet people. Like, I think if you're just being honest with yourself, you're in turn gonna be honest with other people. And that makes it so much easier to connect. Because I think if you feel like maybe sometimes people aren't connecting with you, maybe they're intimidated by you, or maybe they think that you don't like them or whatever. The thing is. And I think if you're upfront about what your deal is, makes it so much easier for people to connect with you.

[Kendall Landriff]

Yeah. Also that you don't communicate in a wrong way. You communicate in a different way. There are other people that communicate exactly like you find it hard to communicate with other People who don't communicate in that way. So maybe you actually are more compatible to have those friends than other people.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Jordan Myrick]

Also, if you're. If you're putting it out there, other people, like, you might see that and be like, wait, no, this is actually great because I'm the same way.

[Kendall Landriff]

Yes, exactly. Exactly.

[Alyssa]

It's also, I feel like I've experienced, like, mainly in relationships. Like, I'm like, I don't want to be my full self around people because then they will like me. And then it's like, it's my fault if that didn't work out because I wasn't putting myself out there. So if you're not being your full self, you are setting yourself up for disaster. That doesn't mean you owe everybody everything, but, like, if this is somebody that you want in your life, you have to meet them as yourself.

[Lauren]

Now, I will say this, though, and this is not directed at our beautiful Patreon follower. This is just in general, I see a lot of people who are like, I'm me, and that's me. And I'm like, but you're an asshole. And I think that's an important thing to remember, too, is that you should also be working on yourself. So I think be your true self. But if you have some bad qualities, and most people do, we all have to. You know, one of my bad qualities is that I'm very, very anxious. So because I've generalized anxiety disorder, so I take medication to not be so anxious. And then I've actively worked on not constantly being like, are you mad at me? And you? Are you mad at me? What about you? Are you mad at me? Blake, our producer, listening to this. Are you mad at me? That's my impulse. That's like, my rawest impulse that I think I could just be like, well, that's just me doing me. But it's like, no, that's actually not really kind to other people. It's not really kind to my. I need to work on that. So I think keep that in mind. Is that be yourself, but be your best self, but you want to set.

[Jordan Myrick]

Yourself up for success. Right? And if. If at the end of the day, if you're an asshole. Not saying you are, but if. But if you are an asshole, you're. You're putting yourself at a disadvantage to find, like, a lovely person to be with, because lovely people typically don't want.

[Lauren]

To be with assholes 100%.

[Alyssa]

I think a lot of times people think that everybody on earth thinks the same way as them, but I think we all think really differently, and it's important to remember that because then we are able to not make excuses for ourselves and, like, I don't know, just, like, be better to each other. I know people are like, we shouldn't have to, like, be polite. But I actually think it's. It's nice to try and be nice.

[Lauren]

We love being polite. We love politeness. We love pleasantry. We love small talk. We love any of that. I think it's becoming a lot lost art form to just be pleasant with people in passing. And I think, why not? It's so easy. It's free. It takes no time. It builds community, makes people feel safe.

[Kendall Landriff]

Well, I feel like things always start as one thing. That's like, yes. And then we just slowly build onto it until it's like, no, that's not so. I feel like it used to be like, my job pays me minimum wage, and then they want me to do work after. I don't owe you anything. And then now people are like, I don't owe anyone anything. So if an old woman falls on the street, I don't have to do anything about it.

[Alyssa]

I'll kick her.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Jordan Myrick]

I'm not getting paid because that's labor.

[Lauren]

Picking her up would be unpaid labor on my part.

[Jordan Myrick]

Emotional labor.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Jordan Myrick]

Physical labor. Fiscal labor. Because I could have been doing a side hustle.

[Kendall Landriff]

Exactly.

[Lauren]

Exactly.

[Kendall Landriff]

And I'm like, too much like you saying hi to someone is. Or if, like, you're like, how are you? And they're like, oh, rough day. Like, that's normal.

[Jordan Myrick]

That's not emotional labor.

[Lauren]

I actually. I'll tell you what. Never need to hear anyone say emotional labor ever again.

[Jordan Myrick]

That's a nice phrase. That phrase actually kills me. And you know what? Maybe this is a hot take. I say, if someone is annoying you and you feel like you're having to do emotional labor, just talk to someone else. I feel like everybody's like, I feel like I have to fix this person. I feel like they're demanding so much of me. I'm like, if it's too much for you, go somewhere else. Well, it's true.

[Alyssa]

I think a lot of people think that they are people pleasers, when in reality, you can tell when somebody's not happy to be pleasing you.

[Jordan Myrick]

Yeah.

[Alyssa]

Somebody be like, I'll do this for you because I'm a people pleaser. I'm like, well, you're not.

[Kendall Landriff]

I'm not pleased.

[Jordan Myrick]

You don't have to do it.

[Kendall Landriff]

And to get back to this, to bring the full person that I think, because I do think it connects. It's like if you. You don't have to communicate or be on the same page with every person you meet and view it as, like, compatibility, as not a rejection. I think there's people I've gone on dates with where I'm like, oh, we're not. This wouldn't. I like you a lot, but we wouldn't be good partners.

[Jordan Myrick]

Yeah.

[Kendall Landriff]

And I think if someone is not reaching out again to hang out as friends, don't take it as like you're a loser. It's just like, maybe there's someone out there that's going to connect with you more.

[Lauren]

Also, like, especially with dating app stuff and with meeting new people. Like, people are so busy, people get in their own head. Like, there's so many reasons why you might not be, like, spending more time with this person, even if you thought it was going to be cool or whatever that happens. So don't take it personally.

[Jordan Myrick]

Well, I. And this is. This is the last thing I'll say on this. We can move on. But I think someone like, rejecting you in any sense, whether that's they ghost you or they're just like, this is not. The vibe is honestly nicer than them not having the guts to end seeing you. Like, I know people who are such people pleasers or whatever that they're like, I can't reject anyone. So then they, like, keep going on dates that they're not into. And I'm like, you're wasting this person's time.

[Lauren]

That's giving the vibe of someone who talks shit about their close friends because they don't want to be friends with those people but can't stop being friends with those people. I'm like, they would so much rather you not be friends with them than you be friends with them and talk about them behind their back. That's not people pleasing. You're not being kind.

[Jordan Myrick]

No.

[Alyssa]

Yeah. Or people who constantly talk shit about their partners.

[Kendall Landriff]

Oh, my God.

[Jordan Myrick]

At that point.

[Kendall Landriff]

And then they're like, I never.

[Lauren]

I've never done that.

[Kendall Landriff]

And then they're like, why does everyone hate my partner? And everyone's like, well, because every time we see you, you're like, my bitch partner won't stop. And we're like, yeah, we all feel like it's maybe a bad vibe relationship.

[Alyssa]

You're not happy. Like, your skin is gray. Please.

[Jordan Myrick]

You're looking sallow. I can hear your bones clacking together. And they're like, no, but mom, we've been together for so long. It's like, why you're adding to the problem by continuing.

[Alyssa]

I'm in a boo basket this year.

[Kendall Landriff]

Oh, don't get me started on the boo basket.

[Jordan Myrick]

A boo basket.

[Alyssa]

Still waiting for mine. Just kidding. Never asked. Never asked.

[Jordan Myrick]

You don't have.

[Kendall Landriff]

You shouldn't have to ask.

[Jordan Myrick]

I also didn't get a boo basket.

[Lauren]

Well, are you both Halloween, or is one of you Christmas?

[Jordan Myrick]

Actually, you're both Christmas. I'm recently a converted Christmas because I went into spirit Halloween this year.

[Alyssa]

I've always been Christmas.

[Jordan Myrick]

I went into spirit Halloween this year, and I love Halloween. But I went in and I said I had a realization. I was alone. And I said if I was stuck in the store by myself, no employees, no customers, I would kill myself because it is gross and creepy and there's too much synthetic hair. I actually would have a sensory overload. But if I was stuck in a Christmas store alone, it'd be fine. Holly jolly holiday.

[Alyssa]

She. She is Halloween, I think in her heart, but she's not Scary Halloween.

[Jordan Myrick]

No. I'm like, cute Halloween. I'm Disneyland Halloween. She's, like, not universal Halloween with a cauldron.

[Lauren]

Got it. Okay. I'm scary Halloween, and Kendall is scary Christmas.

[Jordan Myrick]

Scary Christmas. Krampus.

[Alyssa]

I'm just Krampus Christmas.

[Kendall Landriff]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

I'm really religious Christmas.

[Jordan Myrick]

Gary. Arbor Day.

[Lauren]

I do all the holiday scary, but.

[Alyssa]

I am kind of a Valentine's Day. I throw a Valentine's party every year.

[Kendall Landriff]

Oh, that is fun.

[Jordan Myrick]

It is cute. We'll see you there.

[Lauren]

I was about to say it's called a listful kiss.

[Alyssa]

I get Eminem with my face on them.

[Kendall Landriff]

Oh, yes.

[Alyssa]

My mom gets them, honey. Every year for Christmas.

[Jordan Myrick]

Yeah.

[Alyssa]

I've been doing it since I was, like, 16.

[Lauren]

I love that. I think something that we want to take into 2025 is we want to do parties more and better.

[Jordan Myrick]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

Like. Like throw them.

[Kendall Landriff]

Here's what I'll say. This year, I got my first package of paper plates, and I've never let myself do it. And I'm not saying I continue Purchased. Purchased. I purchased. Imagine I made them.

[Lauren]

I have plain paper machine.

[Jordan Myrick]

I received them from a store.

[Lauren]

Plain paper plates.

[Kendall Landriff]

I never let myself. Because I'm like, it's so bad. It's bad. It's so wasteful. It's so wasteful. And this year, we had a Halloween party, and I saw. But every time I'm at a store and I'm about to have a party, I look and I'm like, they're so cute.

[Lauren]

They look so cute.

[Kendall Landriff]

Oh, my God. And this year, I just said, you know what? Fuck it.

[Jordan Myrick]

What were you doing before then? Handing everyone your real plates.

[Kendall Landriff]

Yeah, our real plates. And then after the fact, it's like a nightmare because you have to clean every dish you've ever had. No forks.

[Alyssa]

You know what the hack is?

[Kendall Landriff]

What?

[Alyssa]

Small food items. Napkins.

[Kendall Landriff]

That's good.

[Jordan Myrick]

You can't offer anyone a hearty meal.

[Kendall Landriff]

Well, we're doing.

[Lauren]

We've made chili. Here's a nap.

[Kendall Landriff]

Yeah, we're doing a lot of crock pot.

[Jordan Myrick]

We love to do chocolate crock pot. We'll spoon it into their mouth.

[Alyssa]

Yeah.

[Jordan Myrick]

Line up, ladle it.

[Kendall Landriff]

I'll ladle it.

[Jordan Myrick]

Say when on the Later.

[Lauren]

I want to see this at the Valentine's Day.

[Kendall Landriff]

I know. But then I. This year finally was. I was. I was at. Is that Target again? Have you ever heard of a Target? And I was like, I'm just gonna let myself get the cute paper plates. It was like, pack one pack of them. There's like 10 of them. I have more guilt than I've ever felt over anything. And I will say, gosh, it made the Halloween party, didn't it, Jordan? Everyone said, who this looks.

[Jordan Myrick]

Were they cute?

[Kendall Landriff]

They were adorable.

[Alyssa]

What did they look like?

[Kendall Landriff]

They had little pumpkins on them. Right. I don't even remember. That's the sideline.

[Jordan Myrick]

You were like, they were beautiful, and I don't know what they look like.

[Lauren]

She loved them in the moment, but.

[Kendall Landriff]

Now I'm like, party decor. I think it was. I've always wanted to just go hard on the party decor. So maybe this year. I think we might do a Mardi Gras party this year.

[Lauren]

That's fun.

[Kendall Landriff]

That's so fun.

[Lauren]

Yeah. Cause I lived in New Orleans when I was a child, and my family's from that area.

[Kendall Landriff]

So wait for the paper plates when you see them.

[Jordan Myrick]

Well, when I see it, I'm gonna say thank you, but I'm judging you.

[Kendall Landriff]

Yes, I know. I know. Gosh. I promise.

[Alyssa]

I'm cold.

[Jordan Myrick]

Really?

[Kendall Landriff]

Really.

[Jordan Myrick]

And then I'm gonna eat something off of it.

[Lauren]

I feel like I've done this to you, and I'm sorry, because we get a takeout order, and I'm like, save every piece of Tupperware they gave us. We're not throwing it away. I'm very.

[Kendall Landriff]

No, but it's great. It's so good. But I think sometimes I have to be real with myself, where I'm like you. There's so much bad stuff in the environment, and you're about to cry in the party aisle to buy one pack of paper plates. Like, there are families that only buy paper plates. Or the styrofoam. Oh, I'd never tried.

[Jordan Myrick]

What if you owned a food truck?

[Lauren]

Think about if you owned a food truck.

[Jordan Myrick]

You're handing people your real dish and you wash it afterwards.

[Lauren]

And that would be me. And I would. And I would be like, kendall, we're not getting paper plates. So you're doing that.

[Kendall Landriff]

Sometimes when you go to a party and someone hands you their real plate, sometimes I'm like, I don't want. I don't know. You.

[Jordan Myrick]

Like, what if I drop this?

[Kendall Landriff]

You know what I mean? What if I drop this? But also, like, how are you cleaning your dishes? I don't know.

[Alyssa]

It's true.

[Kendall Landriff]

Are you hand washing and then air drying or are you doing dishwasher? Do you have a dishwasher?

[Lauren]

I would not be eating at a person's house where I could not trust their dishes.

[Kendall Landriff]

Sometimes you can't control them.

[Jordan Myrick]

Sometimes you. Yeah. What if you're like your best friend handed you a plate right before dinner and you see, like, a little crusted food on it from a previous meal?

[Lauren]

That doesn't bother me.

[Kendall Landriff]

Oh, God.

[Jordan Myrick]

Okay.

[Alyssa]

Honestly, it doesn't bother me.

[Lauren]

That doesn't bother me. A little crusted food, a little hair.

[Alyssa]

I'm like, if it's somebody I know.

[Lauren]

Well, I'm like, honestly, even if it's someone I don't know, because you know what?

[Jordan Myrick]

I say you and I are on the same page. I would leave.

[Lauren]

Let me explain myself. Let me explain my cause. For me, I'm like, I understand a little crust of food that came from food that they had earlier that didn't come off when they watched it.

[Kendall Landriff]

That does not happen at our house.

[Lauren]

One singular piece of hair. I understand it came from the head of the person that cooked this thing. I understand that. To me, I don't want a mystery thing. If it's a thing where I'm like, wait, what it is?

[Alyssa]

What is the mystery?

[Lauren]

I can't tell what it is. Or, like, maybe I'm more concerned about, like, food being left out too long. Maybe that's more of a concern I have. I'm just like, if I got a plate that had a little crust of something on it, I would just say, oh, this one's got a little something on it. Can I wash it or grab another plate? I wouldn't be like, ew, okay, well, I have decorum.

[Kendall Landriff]

I'm not going to do that.

[Lauren]

I just shouted that at me more than once.

[Kendall Landriff]

You just.

[Jordan Myrick]

The word.

[Lauren]

No, the words. I have decorum.

[Kendall Landriff]

Because every so often, Jordan will be like. Jordan will be walking to a store, and they'll be like, don't hit that old woman with your buggy. I'm like, yeah, I wasn't planning. You warned me. Thank you for stuff that. I'm like, well, thanks for the warning, but I'm not, like, on the loose.

[Lauren]

Like, you're not always paying attention.

[Kendall Landriff]

That's true.

[Jordan Myrick]

But, you know, I'm realizing more and more that you and I are the same.

[Kendall Landriff]

And you. And there's always.

[Jordan Myrick]

We'll be walking, like, you know how you'll, like, parallel park? You're walking to get in the car. I'm always driving, so I'm always going out into the road and getting in the car. And she's like, babe, there's a car. And she walks out with her. Like, I'm like, she's in front of it.

[Kendall Landriff]

She's always like.

[Jordan Myrick]

She's like.

[Alyssa]

And then she always. She always likes, like, doesn't not, not yell, but she's always like, I know there's a car. And then, like, five minutes later, she's like, thanks for telling me that, baby.

[Kendall Landriff]

Wow.

[Lauren]

I can't believe she loops back to say thank you.

[Jordan Myrick]

I do.

[Lauren]

Wow.

[Jordan Myrick]

Otherwise, she'll hold it against Kendall.

[Lauren]

You hear that?

[Kendall Landriff]

No. Because Jordan doesn't, like, that's thing. They'll be like, make sure to put. You never said this.

[Lauren]

I'm gonna get blame for something I didn't even do.

[Kendall Landriff]

I'll, like, get my toothbrush out. They're like, make sure to put toothpaste on it.

[Lauren]

And I'm like, I know.

[Kendall Landriff]

And they're like, we don't have to say, I know. Just say, thanks for the reminder. That's what I'm working on.

[Jordan Myrick]

You don't have to say, I know.

[Kendall Landriff]

For the reminder.

[Lauren]

Well, because. So Kendall has really severe ADHD and some, like, processing disorders and stuff, and learning disabilities. So Kendall, like, we used to have little tiffs because I would be like, I've asked you to do or to not do this thing 800,000 times. You never do or not do the thing. It really feels like you don't care. And Kendall was like, well, because of my disabilities, it takes a while for a habit to set in. So I could use some reminders.

[Jordan Myrick]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

So I was like, great, I will help provide those reminders. And then whenever I do, Kendall's like.

[Kendall Landriff]

I have some attitude. What's the problem?

[Lauren]

Kendall has such attitude.

[Kendall Landriff]

It's fine.

[Jordan Myrick]

You're like, I want my teeth to be dirty.

[Lauren]

Well, Kendall was like, okay, I know that. And I'm like, can you just say thanks for the reminder? I don't want to have to tell you. Okay.

[Jordan Myrick]

I know that.

[Lauren]

To close the shower curtain.

[Alyssa]

I'm not a reminder person, but you also do it to be sweet.

[Lauren]

Yes. I don't want to have to be like, hey, when you get out of the bathroom, can you not leave the floor soaking wet as if a family of ducks has been in there? And Kendall's always like, I know. I'm not finished. I'm not finished in there.

[Jordan Myrick]

You know what it is always. I'm not finished. Alyssa will leave the shower. We have a shower window that we open to, like, let the steam out. It's always open after she showers. And she's not. She's like, I was letting it air out.

[Lauren]

I'm like, for three hours, you close the shower window.

[Jordan Myrick]

Close it at the end when you're done.

[Lauren]

We open it at the end?

[Jordan Myrick]

No, we keep it.

[Alyssa]

We keep it open during, and then kind of when we're putting on skincare, we keep it open, and then we close it after. And that's what's hard, because a lot of times I'll, like, let my snail mucin set in, and then I'll walk around the house and do my other tasks, and I'll forget to close the.

[Jordan Myrick]

Window, and I'll be. And she'll be like, no, babe, I usually close it. I'm like, I'm closing it behind you. Three hours later. So it appears like you did it.

[Lauren]

This person wants to know, is it okay to never come out?

[Alyssa]

Oh, I think. Okay. So I have complicated feelings about this. I, like, never officially came out to my family. I just started dating people because I'm from San Diego, and so I. And I was. I went to, like.

[Lauren]

I just started dating people because I'm. Because I'm from San Diego, baby.

[Jordan Myrick]

That's how the people in San Diego do it. They fall in love. We're laid.

[Alyssa]

And I went to, like, an arts high school. It was. It was cca. Everybody called it CC Gay. Everybody there.

[Kendall Landriff]

It would have been embarrassing to come out.

[Alyssa]

No, I think other people came out. I just did. I was just like, eh. And my mom is chill. And I think, like, all of my siblings at this point are in the community, so. And my siblings are older, so. But I think it's. You should do whatever you want. I wonder.

[Jordan Myrick]

I wonder if they meant, like, is it okay to Never come out or is it okay to always be in the closet?

[Lauren]

That's what I read it. I think they meant it's okay to always be in the closet. And I guess, though, I would have the same answer. Yeah, if staying in the closet feels good for you, that's your business and no one else's. I wouldn't want to do it. I don't think it would lead me to my happiest life. But I think especially it depends on what it is. I think if you are gay or you are trans and you fully feel like the way you are living is fully contradictory to the feelings you have inside, I think that's probably really hard and I wouldn't recommend it. But if you want to do it. Do you? I think if you are like a woman who's married to a man who feels like she is probably bisexual or pansexual, but is in a heterosexual, monogamous relationship, I'm kind of like, yeah, I think you could. I don't think you have to come out if you don't want to. I don't think you are owed that to anyone. And it doesn't seem like maybe it is affecting your life that much. So if that's the way you feel, I think that's your business too. I'm kind of like, just do whatever you want to do. If it makes you feel more yourself to come out, great. If it makes you feel pressure that you don't want, you also don't have to do it.

[Kendall Landriff]

Well, I think you should always strive to, like, live your most authentic life. Because I just don't think you would be happy if you're not. But at the same time, you don't have to. I think people maybe get nervous to be like, oh, I'm gonna come out. So I've got a big. I gotta live this big gay life. I gotta do all the.

[Alyssa]

I need to know exactly what sort of gay person I am and exactly who I'm attracted.

[Kendall Landriff]

I have to start watching different shows and I have to read those weird books. Okay, yes. I'm like, just. You can be like. You don't even have to tell anyone. But I think if you're, like, living openly as gay, but, like, talking about it in the same way that straight people talk about it, which is not much. Just, oh, I have a boyfriend. Yeah, whatever. I feel like that. But you don't have to come out in some big hurrah, post on social media, and then get a pride flag and hang it from your door.

[Jordan Myrick]

The only caveat I have for me is if you're wanting a romantic partner but you want to stay in the closet, I think you have to be really understanding that not a lot of people are probably going to want to be in the closet with you, because that doesn't just affect you, it affects their whole life. So I feel like as long as you're understanding of the fact that you can't ask someone to go back in the closet for you, then, yeah, live your life. You're not obligated to come out to anyone. I think we live in this very wonderful era of I am who I am in a good way. Not. Not a previous way, but, like, this is who I am, and I'm sharing it with the world. And I think a lot of people. Yeah. Feel pressured to. To be so public and big about it, but it really is just, like, what makes you happy. Like, at the end of the day, if that. The idea of that stresses you out more than the idea of being out brings you joy, then why would you force yourself to do something super stressful that you don't see yourself being happier after?

[Lauren]

Yeah. I think for me, I'm interpreting this question thinking, like, if tomorrow I woke up and I was like, wait, maybe I'm not a lesbian. Maybe I am also a little bit attracted to men. I don't need to, like, go tell my grandma that.

[Jordan Myrick]

No.

[Kendall Landriff]

You know what I mean?

[Lauren]

I'm kind of like, you can have personal realizations and you can have things, but, like, I'm marrying Kendall. I don't plan to be in a relationship with a man.

[Jordan Myrick]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

I. Things like that, where it's just like, those might be feelings that I have, but I might need. I might not need to make an Internet post about it. I might need to. You know, you don't have to tell everyone in your family every single thing. So that's kind of how I interpreted it.

[Kendall Landriff]

But I think if you're really open with everything else, like, if you're like, I'm an open person. Like, if you're a really private person and then you were like, well, I don't really want to come out because I don't really want to, that makes sense to me. But if you're open with everything else, and then when you want to come out, you're like, I want to keep that really secret.

[Jordan Myrick]

Yeah.

[Kendall Landriff]

Then I think that is from a place. Yeah, there's like, it's coming from a place of shame.

[Jordan Myrick]

Internalization. Yeah.

[Kendall Landriff]

On that. It doesn't mean you have to do anything now. You don't have to come out when you're not comfortable. But you shouldn't just, like, sit and be comfortable with feeling that much shame for the rest of your life.

[Lauren]

Yeah. Just do whatever makes you feel genuinely happy. And go to therapy.

[Jordan Myrick]

Go to therapy.

[Lauren]

That's my thought.

[Jordan Myrick]

Good thought.

[Lauren]

Thank you.

[Alyssa]

Move to San Diego.

[Kendall Landriff]

Yeah, Move the way There'll be no problem.

[Lauren]

Is different.

[Jordan Myrick]

You just fall in love.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Kendall Landriff]

So easy over there. Honestly, it is great.

[Alyssa]

I love being from there.

[Kendall Landriff]

Oh, I love it.

[Alyssa]

Warm Christmas.

[Lauren]

Warm Christmas. That could be a Hallmark movie. The girl I like started dating a guy. She's bi. I don't know what to do because I'm on the apps, but I rarely like people.

[Jordan Myrick]

Well, she's dating someone. Mama seems a little separate. I would say. Well, she's not available to you. And as much as that hurts, you gotta prowl somewhere else because you cannot pursue someone who is obviously into someone else.

[Alyssa]

This is true. I also feel like if the apps are not working for you, you can really meet people in person.

[Kendall Landriff]

Join a softball league.

[Jordan Myrick]

That's what I'm always. I'm always like, join a softball league. Go to like, a knitting circle at a bar. Yeah. And the apps again, crapshoot. But it is a numbers game at the end of the day. Like, it feels like ass being on there for so long. But just statistically, there will probably be somebody eventually that you're like, you're not.

[Kendall Landriff]

Disgusting unless you are a nightmare.

[Alyssa]

Or you can always just be like, immediately, like, let's go on a date. Like, you don't have to go back and forth on the apps for so long. I also think that at some point you'll get lonely enough that you will decide to just go on a date with like, I feel like for me, like, I. I have trouble connecting with people on the apps. Like, obviously I'm not currently, but I always had trouble connecting with people. I was like, I. Seeing a picture of you, like, isn't really doing anything for me. I don't know what you're like. I feel like textile is so different than, like, in person communication. But at a certain point, you just have to put yourself out there because you're unhappy.

[Kendall Landriff]

Yeah.

[Alyssa]

So if you get to that point, you're gonna put yourself out.

[Jordan Myrick]

Drive yourself to the brink of insanity from. From lack of bottom come the trashier car.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Jordan Myrick]

Go on a date.

[Kendall Landriff]

You'll figure it out. I feel like, though, also, just take your time. I think people get so, like, well, it's not working. I'm like, yeah, it's okay. Like, and obviously understand when someone's like, well, I'm 35 and I've been trying to, like, find. I've been consistently dating for 15 years and nothing. And I'm like, yeah, that's frustrating, I'm sure. But I feel like I'll hear like a 21 year old BE like, well, nothing.

[Alyssa]

Like, I can't really.

[Kendall Landriff]

It's too late for me. Yeah, it's like, too late. I'm just like, what? The apps are terrible. And I'm like, you don't need to find your wife today.

[Jordan Myrick]

I'm like, you have four roommates.

[Kendall Landriff]

Yeah.

[Jordan Myrick]

Like, why are you trying to find a wife?

[Kendall Landriff]

You cannot get anything a bit better.

[Lauren]

Yeah, exactly. This is not.

[Kendall Landriff]

This doesn't make any sense. So I'm like, just take your time and try to enjoy your life. Because once you're married, hate to say it, you're married, you can't go. You don't get to go back. And. Well, I mean, unless you get a divorce, I guess you could go back, but you don't get to go back to me. 20 and getting to do all those fun things. So I'm just like, take your time. Go join a bunch of clubs and eventually you'll meet someone. But it may not be this year or next year. Also could be soon.

[Jordan Myrick]

Underrated. Tell your friends I was just who you are looking for. And they will scope their entire social bandwidth and they'll be like, oh, I know two people you would like. Or I know one person you would like, or I know someone who knows someone who you would like like. Don't be shy about what you're looking for or that you're looking in general.

[Alyssa]

It's not weird to want love. Like, it's not shameful to be like, I'm open to.

[Jordan Myrick]

Also, so many people love to play matchmaker against your will.

[Kendall Landriff]

Well, and a lesbian, you tell a lesbian wants to be able to be at your wedding. And being like, I introduced them like, people. I mean, I'm like, that we had a friend who was like, yeah, I'm looking to date someone. And I, against her will, was like, here's 50 people. Like, please, like, reach out to them. Have you reached out to them?

[Jordan Myrick]

This is an Excel spreadsheet.

[Kendall Landriff]

Yes, exactly. I'm like obsessed with finding someone, a girlfriend. It's so fun.

[Jordan Myrick]

No, same.

[Lauren]

Absolutely. How to make friends within this community without coming off as flirtatious.

[Jordan Myrick]

Call people friend.

[Kendall Landriff]

Yeah, you're great.

[Alyssa]

Call people friend.

[Jordan Myrick]

Honestly, I feel like it's harder to.

[Alyssa]

Seem flirtatious than it is to seem friendly.

[Jordan Myrick]

Yeah.

[Alyssa]

Especially if you're two ladies out there. Like, because I feel like you're like, your outfit's so cute when you're really like, I want to make love to you.

[Jordan Myrick]

I think you can. Also. It's guys, it's easier than, you know, to friend zone someone. You can friend zone, easy peasy. If you're not calling them friend, you're talking about your celebrity crush too much. You're talking about your ex and saying, I hope I get over them soon. Like, it's just like, you can do.

[Kendall Landriff]

It, but also, be real with yourself. Because some people, I feel like, are so flirty because they love the attention.

[Alyssa]

Yeah.

[Kendall Landriff]

And then someone's, like, flirting back, and they're like, I don't know what to do. Like, they think I'm flirting.

[Alyssa]

When I'm obsessed, they're obsessed.

[Kendall Landriff]

And I'm, like, obsessed with me. They're obsessed. I'm like, well, you are flirting, ultimately, which is like, I've done. I've definitely all the time flirted with someone I'm not planning on ever having anything with because it's fun. But if they start to, you know, be like, oh, I'm interested in you.

[Jordan Myrick]

You can't play dumb and be like, why did they think I was into them? I sent them a kissy face, and then I hugged them for a long time, and then I kissed him when I was drunk. Like, you have to stop being a monster.

[Kendall Landriff]

Because I feel like it's. I feel like. Well, maybe it's because we're friends, a lot of couples. But I feel like I have. Most of my friends are lesbians. And I genuinely have never thought, like, oh, are we flirting? Like, are they. Is. Are we Whatever. Because I feel like it just feels like we're friends. But maybe it's just because they're couples. But it doesn't feel hard. It feels very easy to not be flirting with someone.

[Jordan Myrick]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

Yeah, I agree.

[Kendall Landriff]

Although some people are really bad at flirting, so it's harder to tell. That's true. Because I think I've also been in scenarios where someone's like, I was flirting, and I'm like, what?

[Jordan Myrick]

Or you can play dumb. One time I had a friend who. Who was feeling a little saucy with me, was trying to. Was being coy, and I knew they were talking about me. I knew that they were trying to do something, and I. I played so dumb, and I evaded every time. They'd be like, yeah, there's like, this One girl. And I was like. I was like, you should. She sounds great. I have a date this weekend. And you just eventually, like, they'll get the message that you're not into it.

[Lauren]

And anyone who knows me probably knows that I would also champion for the opposite of that. Just look them directly in the eyes and go, I do not like you.

[Jordan Myrick]

But then imagine they're like, okay.

[Kendall Landriff]

That's why I think that's fine.

[Alyssa]

I think it's fine.

[Lauren]

I think that's fine as long as.

[Alyssa]

You can handle it.

[Lauren]

If they say, okay, I wasn't talking about you. Say, oh, good. Yeah, I love you as a friend.

[Jordan Myrick]

Oh, yeah. You could be like, I was just making sure. Yeah, yeah.

[Kendall Landriff]

You know what?

[Jordan Myrick]

You're right.

[Alyssa]

Like, yeah, I'm weird. Instead of they're weird.

[Jordan Myrick]

People are flirting with me. Bozo.

[Lauren]

Yeah, yeah. Just like, put it all out there. Be honest.

[Jordan Myrick]

No, actually, that's a better approach.

[Lauren]

No, I think it's. I think they're just two different approaches. And I think that's why we have a bunch of people coming on this podcast, because not everyone will look someone in the eyes and say, I don't like you.

[Jordan Myrick]

Yeah.

[Kendall Landriff]

Jordan's advice is always really good, but one that I will absolutely never, never do. And be able to.

[Jordan Myrick]

The antithesis of who you are as a person.

[Kendall Landriff]

Yes. 100%.

[Jordan Myrick]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

Yeah. Not in a mean way. Be nice about it, but just, I think honesty, you have to lead with kindness. But I also think in a lot of situation, honesty can be kind in.

[Alyssa]

The long run, of course.

[Kendall Landriff]

Yes.

[Lauren]

And I think if you have a friend who you feel like they like you but you don't like them, I think you just have to be like, hey, I really value you as a friend, but I don't see this as a romantic relationship. I hope that's not a problem for you.

[Kendall Landriff]

I just keep bringing up friends and.

[Jordan Myrick]

Then you're such a good friend. I see you like a sibling.

[Kendall Landriff]

What if I see you like a sibling?

[Alyssa]

Mixed signals, like, don't be cuddling them. Don't be period until after you've established we are just friends.

[Lauren]

Yeah. Do not seek attention from them. It's really hurtful.

[Kendall Landriff]

And I think talk about your dating like you'd said, like, keep being like, I don't know. I really like. I like this girl. Talk about.

[Jordan Myrick]

Yeah.

[Alyssa]

Or you could be like, my type is the exact opposite of you.

[Lauren]

I've done that before.

[Alyssa]

Or you could be like, their blonde. Be like, I love brunettes.

[Kendall Landriff]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jordan Myrick]

You could be like, we're Gonna find you your dream person. I will be your matchmaker.

[Alyssa]

I'm your wingman.

[Jordan Myrick]

I'm your NPC that cannot be interacted with romantically.

[Kendall Landriff]

See, it's hard though. Cause all the lesbian books I read, this is how they all start. I know. It's like, I'm gonna be your wing.

[Lauren]

Woman, and I'm not looking. These books are ruining the community.

[Alyssa]

I'm planning your wedding. But I'm in love with you.

[Kendall Landriff]

Yes. And I'm not looking for anything serious. Trust me. All the red flags. And now I'm like, wait. But it worked out so well.

[Lauren]

Okay, I got a longer one. You love the longer ones.

[Kendall Landriff]

You ready? I do.

[Jordan Myrick]

Audiobook.

[Lauren]

Yeah, this is an audiobook.

[Kendall Landriff]

I'm tapping in.

[Lauren]

I'm doing some ASMR for you. How do I get over a friend crush? She moved states to be with her partner who's trash. And I can't help but miss her and feel jealous when I see pictures of them.

[Alyssa]

Them.

[Lauren]

She's been gone for around three months and we text sometimes. I've known her for a couple years. I don't want to feel this way, but it keeps coming. Please help. Also, I told her I liked her before she left and she reciprocated.

[Alyssa]

She sounds evil.

[Kendall Landriff]

Evil.

[Lauren]

Evil. Parentheses. She's Polly.

[Jordan Myrick]

Oh.

[Alyssa]

Okay. I apologize.

[Jordan Myrick]

And apologizing.

[Lauren]

But she didn't want a long distance relationship.

[Jordan Myrick]

That's fair.

[Kendall Landriff]

I see.

[Jordan Myrick]

That's fair.

[Kendall Landriff]

Okay. Wow. We really all went on an emotional roller coaster.

[Lauren]

That's how I read it.

[Jordan Myrick]

Like that. And thank you for the delivery on that audiobook.

[Lauren]

Thank you.

[Jordan Myrick]

Narrator of the year.

[Kendall Landriff]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

I said I bring you up and then I bring back to you.

[Jordan Myrick]

Yeah. Okay, I'm gonna say it. Stop talking to her.

[Lauren]

Yes.

[Alyssa]

For now.

[Jordan Myrick]

You don't have to completely toss it in the trash. But like, oh, when you like someone and you're like, still, like, stalking their Instagram and like, seeing them happy and then like, you have to, like, what? Small talk about their new life. Just. And if she knows that you like her, you can just be like, hey, I actually don't think it's really good for me right now to talk to you because it makes me really sad. But I can't wait to reconnect later. Hope you have a great life. States away. See you in 2025.

[Lauren]

Yeah. Also, the mute button exists for a reason. You do not have to let them know. It does not notify them. Just hit that mute button on anybody that makes you feel bad.

[Kendall Landriff]

I also think when you're hung up on someone. Sometimes you need someone to tell you. So I'll be. I'll tell you now. Is that the person you like really isn't that special. Like I think they can feel and everyone is special in their own way. But the person you like is not one in a million. They're maybe to their parents and they. I'm sure they have special qualities. But we're all. You will find a million people just like that person, and they are fine. And you. You can find someone else also like that person.

[Jordan Myrick]

Not every fish in the sea is unique.

[Kendall Landriff]

Right.

[Jordan Myrick]

There are species for every.

[Kendall Landriff]

There's a lot of salmon.

[Jordan Myrick]

There's a lot of trout.

[Kendall Landriff]

There's a lot of trout.

[Jordan Myrick]

Are trout in the ocean? I don't even know.

[Lauren]

Yes. Yes.

[Jordan Myrick]

Is that freshwater or saltwater trout?

[Kendall Landriff]

What do you think we do for a living? I have no idea.

[Alyssa]

Trout, I think trout, river. But salmon also, sometimes river.

[Kendall Landriff]

They're just not that special, you know?

[Lauren]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're right. And I don't know where trout are. I guess trout are in freshwater.

[Jordan Myrick]

You like tin fish?

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Jordan Myrick]

She doesn't.

[Alyssa]

She doesn't.

[Jordan Myrick]

I wish I loved tinfish.

[Kendall Landriff]

I love.

[Lauren]

It's very aesthetic. What's your favorite?

[Jordan Myrick]

So bad.

[Alyssa]

I tried the most amazing tin fish.

[Jordan Myrick]

Oh, my God.

[Lauren]

What was it?

[Alyssa]

It was a tuna in a green curry sauce.

[Jordan Myrick]

It was actually really good.

[Lauren]

From where?

[Alyssa]

It was really good.

[Jordan Myrick]

I tried it at Salty Girl, but overpriced. Overpriced. Hey, Salty Girl, I have a bone to pick with you.

[Lauren]

That's. That's a lot of restaurants in major cities, very expensive.

[Jordan Myrick]

And I was like, oh, cute little girls night. There's six of us. Oh, you wanna order for the table? Oh, you're picking a lot of food. Oh, we're all splitting the bill. And I'm paying $500 for a tin fucking fish.

[Lauren]

A dinner with more than four people is wrong. A dinner with more than four people is wrong.

[Kendall Landriff]

Unless you're at an Olive Garden.

[Jordan Myrick]

No, no, I agree.

[Lauren]

I think Kendall's wrong. Still, I don't.

[Jordan Myrick]

Do you love a Buca di Beppo?

[Alyssa]

Yeah, I love Buca.

[Kendall Landriff]

My family and I used to go every year on Christmas.

[Jordan Myrick]

Merry Christmas.

[Alyssa]

I've been for Thanksgiving once.

[Kendall Landriff]

It's a blast.

[Alyssa]

Fabulous.

[Kendall Landriff]

And it was a restaurant that I thought was five, a five star restaurant until maybe last year.

[Alyssa]

Did you ever sit in the kitchen?

[Kendall Landriff]

Yeah, on Christmas.

[Jordan Myrick]

And then you used their bathroom and they said.

[Kendall Landriff]

And they said, walk in, bitch.

[Lauren]

I'm sorry to go back, but I do have to Say, I still think you're wrong. I think dinner with more than four people is incorrect. Unless it is a flat rate meal, like a buffet.

[Kendall Landriff]

I think Olive Garden has tables for. They have rooms.

[Lauren]

It's not about that.

[Jordan Myrick]

What if.

[Alyssa]

What if it's more than four people?

[Jordan Myrick]

What if you have a family of five?

[Lauren]

Get one of them out of there.

[Jordan Myrick]

Leave the baby at home like the rest of us.

[Lauren]

And I can't believe I'm saying this, because this is a strict rule my father has is that he will not go to dinner with more than four people because it becomes chaos.

[Jordan Myrick]

How many siblings do you have?

[Lauren]

Zero.

[Jordan Myrick]

Okay, there you go.

[Kendall Landriff]

Okay. That's why he was planning.

[Jordan Myrick]

That's why you're like this.

[Lauren]

That's why you're like this from day one. No, but I. I think it's. I think it's too much chaos if you have a family that's different because you're. You're. You can cohesively order as a family, whatever, but if you're like, hey, squad, let six of us go out to dinner. It's too much.

[Jordan Myrick]

I knew a family. I knew. Oh, I love this story. I knew a family that had 13 children and hyper religious. Hyper religious. And one time I went out to eat with them. I was in middle school. And we sat down and their dad went behind the counter of this, like, pizza place. And I was like, oh, my God, he must know the owner. That's really nice. And I asked one of the girls, I was like, does your dad know the owner? And she goes, no. He does this everywhere we go because he knows that there's so many of us that he starts, like, working there kind of. He, like, started, like, bringing out plates and, like, doing stuff. And I was like, like, this is insane.

[Alyssa]

This is.

[Jordan Myrick]

He really did clock in for a show.

[Kendall Landriff]

I really love that.

[Lauren]

That's kind of nice.

[Jordan Myrick]

Yeah, he just immediately starts, like, surfing people. He'll, like, get the pitchers of water from back behind the kitchen.

[Lauren]

I thought this was gonna end with me hating him, but I kind of like that. I think that's.

[Alyssa]

He's a go get.

[Jordan Myrick]

I thought that was insane, though, because it was like. It was not a conversation. It was basically like he put on a metaphorical apron and was serving pizza.

[Kendall Landriff]

Like, I also like this man because he invited. He invited you to dinner, which to me, if I had 13 kids, I would be like, no friends. No friends ever.

[Jordan Myrick]

No friends are friends with each other.

[Kendall Landriff]

Enjoy it. And no, I will not be paying for any of your friends dinner.

[Jordan Myrick]

They had A cargo van. Huge cargo van with benches. And they had, like, I think two of them, maybe. Wow. It was wild. It was wild. And I'm talking age range of, like, 21 to newborn. And also, just admit that, you know.

[Lauren]

The Duggars and get it over with.

[Alyssa]

Yeah.

[Jordan Myrick]

And this man did have two kids from a previous marriage, so he had, like. I think in total, he has, like, 16 kids.

[Kendall Landriff]

Wow.

[Lauren]

Something's gotta be going on with you. Sorry. I'll say it.

[Jordan Myrick]

Yeah, it's. I think, the love of God.

[Kendall Landriff]

I think you have to. If you're gonna go out to eat with that many people, either you need to do four people max, or you've gotta go full, like, 10. Both.

[Jordan Myrick]

The restaurant.

[Kendall Landriff]

Because I think there could be at an Olive Garden. I'll say it. First of all, there's. Then you get a lot of breadsticks. They're made to share. Like, stuff is made to share. But also. Then you can kind of have the elders at one end and the cool kids at one end.

[Lauren]

But you're still talking about families. I'm talking about a group of friends.

[Kendall Landriff]

No, you're right.

[Jordan Myrick]

Wait, did you do. Did you do high school theater?

[Lauren]

Yes.

[Alyssa]

Yeah.

[Jordan Myrick]

It's a cast party.

[Alyssa]

It's not.

[Jordan Myrick]

Did you go to cast party?

[Lauren]

Yeah. And I was anxious every single time. And then my dad would come. My dad would have to drive everyone home because no one else's parents wanted to do it hard. And then my dad would have to check in with the server to make sure that she tipped appropriately.

[Jordan Myrick]

Everyone was.

[Alyssa]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

So I'm just like, it's not fun. It's not good. I was anxious the whole time we were doing it same.

[Alyssa]

I loved it.

[Kendall Landriff]

I did, too.

[Jordan Myrick]

I feel like even as.

[Alyssa]

Did you go to ihop?

[Kendall Landriff]

Yeah, we went to ihop.

[Alyssa]

We went to Denny's.

[Lauren]

Duh.

[Jordan Myrick]

Or Red Robin. We had a Mexican restaurant that knew our deal.

[Lauren]

I love that.

[Jordan Myrick]

But I was always, like. Even as a high schooler, I remember the server would come over and I'd be like, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Can I please get beans and cheese? Like, I'm so sorry. We're out of order. I'm sorry. Because I was a server at the time also.

[Kendall Landriff]

Oh, where?

[Jordan Myrick]

At a hibachi place. But they did. To cook in front of you. They cooked it in the kitchen. Yes.

[Lauren]

Got it.

[Jordan Myrick]

Brought it out. So I brought it out, and I would lay it down.

[Kendall Landriff]

Wow. I saw a video on TikTok the other day of a high school group at IHOP. Doing their performance. Doing one of their songs in Greece.

[Jordan Myrick]

Well, of course.

[Kendall Landriff]

And it was. And it was so funny to me because you could tell all of them were like, people are losing line seeing this. And I feel like I was the same. Like, I would walk into ihop and they'd be like. I would be like, oh, the servers are like, are they celebrities? Like, I was so deluded. And I'm like, 17. Like, oh, yeah.

[Jordan Myrick]

But it's like, your school's drawn.

[Lauren]

I was saying performers are here.

[Alyssa]

You're going character out in the world.

[Lauren]

Bad girl. Yes.

[Kendall Landriff]

And I was like, they are like, oh, my God. Like, this is so cool.

[Jordan Myrick]

And we're so brave for being in costumes today. We're so brave for still having milky white face paint on.

[Lauren]

Yep.

[Kendall Landriff]

Devastating. All right. You got any other questions?

[Lauren]

I got one more question, because we're almost out of time. How do I make a move on someone that I know is gay without coming off as weird?

[Alyssa]

Oh.

[Lauren]

Now, this, to me, makes it almost seem like you're not gay. And you're like, I'm not gay. How do I make a move on a gay person? And I'm like, I have to talk to you about something. I have some news for you that I don't know how you're gonna receive. So I'm guessing. Let's just say the question is, how do you make a gay move?

[Jordan Myrick]

How do you make a gay move? And you know they're gay?

[Alyssa]

You just ask.

[Jordan Myrick]

You just make a move like you would on anyone else. But I'm assuming you're asking this because you don't make moves. So I would say, look up how to make move. Just kidding. You asked us that.

[Kendall Landriff]

Yeah, they did.

[Lauren]

I literally did. I sent in.

[Jordan Myrick]

You're literally like, I reached out 1v, 1. I think if you don't know how to flirt, something that can be really useful is asking the other person, like, about their romantic interests. And it doesn't seem weird if you guys are friends, but if this is a stranger. I feel like I started talking, and I didn't know where this.

[Alyssa]

Listen, I think first things first. Get them alone. Get them alone. Not in a weird way, but invite them over. Invite them to a restaurant, invite them to the movies, wherever. Wherever you want to go, wherever feels safe. And then you try a little flirting. And then maybe if they're not reciprocating, maybe pull it back and let them take the lead.

[Jordan Myrick]

Are we all realizing we don't know how to say how to flirt?

[Kendall Landriff]

Yeah.

[Jordan Myrick]

I'm like, how have I ever picked.

[Alyssa]

Up a woman, you just make them laugh.

[Lauren]

This is.

[Kendall Landriff]

This is my thing, and I feel.

[Lauren]

Like a lot of, like, touching this is my thing. This is kind of my strap. I would go, you know, this isn't the way I've done it every single time. But if I had to break it down.

[Alyssa]

Yeah.

[Jordan Myrick]

Kendall's like, you didn't do this for me.

[Kendall Landriff]

Yeah. What the heck? Sorry.

[Lauren]

You just kind of floated into my life. I would say start with three strong compliments peppered into the small talk you're making that are very clear. You don't like her dress. You like something about her. You love her energy. You love her eyes.

[Jordan Myrick]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

You love whatever. It's not just like, oh, my God, girly. Love this sweater you're wearing.

[Kendall Landriff]

Oh, that's such a good tip, because.

[Alyssa]

I do love how you look in this dress.

[Kendall Landriff]

And even question earlier of, like, how to be friendly without it seeming like you're flirting. I feel like being like, oh, my God, these pants are so cute. Girl is so, like, not funny. But if I were to be like, your eyes are so beautiful.

[Lauren]

Yes.

[Kendall Landriff]

That is, like, very flirting.

[Lauren]

You have the perfect lips. Okay.

[Jordan Myrick]

Your lips. Your lips make me go crazy. No, that's actually. That's actually flirting while being weird.

[Lauren]

I love the idea you tell someone.

[Kendall Landriff]

In the advice, and it's, like, so wrong. It's like, your butt is on.

[Lauren]

I don't want to smack it.

[Alyssa]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

I think if you lead with three strong compliments, it's clear that you're flirting. And then I think you do a little. Little touch. Ha ha, ha, ha, ha. Place the hand on the arm.

[Alyssa]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

If they seem into it, they'll be giving the same thing back. Compliments back to you, touching back to you. If they're not, they might not be interested. On to the next one.

[Jordan Myrick]

I think you really brought up a huge point. You cannot bestie vibe. You cannot bestie vibe. You cannot, like, get all pitched up and, like, nervous to compliment. Because I think while you may be nervous just to hit on them, I think that a lot of people, especially, like, young gay people who don't have much experience flirting. They have, like, a physical kind of, like, cringe when they're, like, hitting on you. They're like, you're so pretty. Hey, I'm scared of women. It's like, then why are you here?

[Lauren]

Sorry, that's loser behavior.

[Kendall Landriff]

I know.

[Alyssa]

I hate when people say that they're scared of.

[Jordan Myrick]

I'm like, it makes me want to blow.

[Alyssa]

Like, it's so easy to Date.

[Kendall Landriff]

I'm like, I know.

[Alyssa]

No, it's not.

[Kendall Landriff]

We've ranted about this so much. We're like, it's so bizarre.

[Jordan Myrick]

No, it's. It's bizarro. And it's like, if you can't hit on a woman without looking like a dying bug and without your voice sounding like a child's animation, you're not ready to date a woman. Like, a woman deserves someone who can kind of, like, you kind of have to fake it till you make it. You have to fake it till you make it. If you are nervous, you cannot let her see it, because imagine you're on a date with someone and they're nervous to compliment you. Like, yeah, it's not attractive.

[Alyssa]

Bad precedent for your relationship.

[Jordan Myrick]

Yeah, you gotta be chill.

[Lauren]

I think that's for anything. I think sometimes people want to be like, but dating is hard. Or, like, but I just came out and I've never dated a woman. I understand why internally, you're feeling scared. I'm not saying internally you can't feel scared. Yes, but that's like, if you started a new job, you could not go into your new job, and if your boss was like, how are you on your first day? And you'd be like. Like, I don't know. Jobs are, like, scary.

[Jordan Myrick]

To be such a.

[Lauren]

You could never, ever do that. It would be so unprofessional. It would be so weird. You're projecting your anxieties onto someone else who doesn't want them.

[Jordan Myrick]

Nervous.

[Lauren]

Yeah. Like, you need to kind of take ownership and responsibility for yourself and for your own feelings. And I think there's even something hot if you're being like, I really wanted to talk to you, but honestly, you make me a little nervous.

[Alyssa]

That's so hot.

[Lauren]

Be upfront.

[Alyssa]

And then they can be, like, so normal.

[Lauren]

Yeah. You don't have to be like.

[Kendall Landriff]

And then Jordan says, your lips are so juicy.

[Lauren]

That's. Stand by the lips. Compliment.

[Jordan Myrick]

Your lips are lush.

[Lauren]

You would never say that to a friend. If you're, like, not going off with a friend too much and you met someone and you said, you have the perfect lips, they would say, oh.

[Kendall Landriff]

I think the word lips just in general feels like a big swing. I don't know why.

[Lauren]

What else?

[Jordan Myrick]

Your mouth hole. Your mouth hole is such a good.

[Kendall Landriff]

Your m hole.

[Lauren]

Your m hole.

[Jordan Myrick]

Your face hole. Yeah. No, no. Dare I say, I think that when people hide behind the women are too scary, I can't date them. I'm like, you're making an excuse so you don't have to try.

[Kendall Landriff]

Yeah.

[Jordan Myrick]

You're making. You're making it so that you have already failed. And if you constantly go into the world being like, women are too scary. I can't approach women. I hate to break this news to you. You will never date one.

[Kendall Landriff]

Yeah.

[Jordan Myrick]

You will never date one. Because it is so. I mean, maybe you find the anomaly, but it is so rare that someone has 100% initiative that they can move past you being weird.

[Kendall Landriff]

Right, Right. And why would they want to? Like, why would you push so hard?

[Lauren]

And let's be like, I know.

[Jordan Myrick]

Yeah. Unless they're, like, specifically, like, I love little freaks who can't make a move, which, like, that's kind of weird.

[Kendall Landriff]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

And maybe you're both weird together. And if you can't get over the acting like that, then you need to sit, go with somebody like that. You need to put out a post.

[Jordan Myrick]

On Lex to think, like, I'm the weirdest person you'll ever be. Kiss me on the first moment we see.

[Alyssa]

Just tell me you love my lip.

[Lauren]

Yeah. Seeking weird for weird.

[Kendall Landriff]

I also think, though, that people with, like, the flirting sometimes get nervous to, like, make someone uncomfortable. Because I think there's this, like, trope. Not really a trope because it exists, but it's like men flirting and then not taking the hint that you're like, nope, no, it's different. That doesn't mean you can't flirt at all. I think people are like, so if I were to just come out and be like, wow, it's been so nice. I really like talking to you. I would love to grab a drink sometime. They're like, well, if they don't want it, then I have just attacked them. And it's like, no flirting.

[Alyssa]

It's only if you constantly do it at somebody.

[Jordan Myrick]

That's bad.

[Kendall Landriff]

If they immediately. If they kind of seem like, oh, I don't know. And then you keep going, that's bad.

[Lauren]

That's weird.

[Kendall Landriff]

But having a moment where you express your feelings and then someone not reciprocate them is not you being creepy.

[Jordan Myrick]

Also, if. If you flirt with someone, and I can say this as someone who has been flirted with. Right. I'm never offended that someone is shooting their shot. I'm never like, ew, you disgusting hag. I'm like, if anything, I'm feeling flattered. I'm feeling like, wait, thanks. That's actually really nice. I'm kind of having a confidence boost. And I've told people this before. I think it's important to know that when you're hitting on someone, you are complimenting them. You were ultimately being like. Like you're an appealing person.

[Alyssa]

Yeah. And I want to spend more time with you.

[Jordan Myrick]

Even if it doesn't work out, they're not gonna, like, pull out a knife and like, stab you for asking them out.

[Kendall Landriff]

And if they do, that's on them.

[Jordan Myrick]

And if. Yeah. And that's weird.

[Kendall Landriff]

Then they're weird.

[Jordan Myrick]

Then they're weird.

[Lauren]

Exactly. Wow. Well, this has been such a blast. Thank you both so much for being on the podcast.

[Alyssa]

Thank you for having us.

[Lauren]

It's our pleasure. Is there anything you want to plug?

[Alyssa]

Yes. Yes.

[Jordan Myrick]

Yes. Alyssa and I have written a web series. If you are gay, if you like vampires, if you like watching women smooch each. We have written a vampire comedy. It's like a little rom com web series called Pain in the Neck. And we currently have a Kickstarter. Yes.

[Kendall Landriff]

Oh, my God. Fun.

[Alyssa]

So we'll give you guys the link and you can put it under this episode.

[Jordan Myrick]

Yeah, you can go look at. We did like a photo shoot. We have a little video talking about.

[Alyssa]

It's like enemies to friends, to lovers.

[Jordan Myrick]

Yes. It's a lot of that longing, but it's also very campy. And it's Alyssa and I. It's like a little two hander. But I. It's very goofy, very fun. And we really just truly. It came out of us being like, we want to do something together. We want to make something. We want to be creative, we want to be gay. We want to be able to watch something where the gay women are the main characters and they don't die.

[Kendall Landriff]

I'm sick of it.

[Jordan Myrick]

And they're not coming out. Our characters are already like, we know we're gay.

[Alyssa]

They stay gay. Yeah, it's fabulous. There's. It's also the zombie apocalypse.

[Jordan Myrick]

Oh, my God. It's a complex. It's kind of a meaty bite. Go look at it.

[Lauren]

Wow.

[Kendall Landriff]

Well, we certainly will. I'm so excited. Congratulations. Yeah.

[Lauren]

We'll put the Kickstarter down in the bio for this video. So if you're watching this on YouTube, you can donate to their Kickstarter. There we are, as always, filming in these Spotify offices, who we adore just so much.

[Kendall Landriff]

And if you're listening on any of you know, the platforms where you listen to a podcast, just make sure to rate and review us.

[Lauren]

Yeah. Thanks so much for being here, as always. It's Monday. We've gotten a lot of bad news recently as a country, but we thank.

[Jordan Myrick]

You for being here, signing off on the worst note.

[Lauren]

And we love you. And, you know, hey, listen. What. What is there to say? What can I even say? But we are happy you're here, and we're happy that this podcast feels joyful and. And you're able to make it happen with us.

[Kendall Landriff]

Wee. Happy Monday.

[Jordan Myrick]

We'll see you at the Bloomingdale's bathroom.

[Kendall Landriff]

Jordan always makes fun of me because I'm so bad at ending an episode.

[Lauren]

I'm like, okay, bye.