Why we didn’t kiss on New Year’s Eve

Summary

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HARD LAUNCH with Dan and Phil

Episode: Why we didn’t kiss on New Year’s Eve

Release Date: January 12, 2026
Hosts: Dan Howell and Phil Lester (Studio71)

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Episode Overview

Dan and Phil kick off the new year with their signature blend of chaotic banter, radical honesty, and a side of psychic predictions. In this episode, they revisit their eventful (and anticlimactic) New Year's Eve, dish on family holiday antics, manifest their 2026 "vibe" with a Buffy-themed tarot reading, and entertain fan hard-launches ranging from bidets to being “cringe but free.” With plenty of irreverence, they set the tone for a year full of messy fun, psychic omens, and a newfound wariness toward pears.

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Key Discussion Points

1. Why They Didn’t Kiss on New Year’s Eve

[00:00–01:46]

• Dan and Phil did not share the classic midnight kiss—the countdown came while stuck in a taxi.
  • Phil’s stained shirt delayed them:
    "We missed New Year's cause we were stuck in a taxi." – Dan [00:06] "I got cream all over my shirt." – Phil [00:20]
• A “homophobic dog meme” moment with the taxi driver led to awkwardness:
  • "I was making direct [eye contact] with [the driver] the whole time… I just saw this guy just staring. I know what you are." – Dan [00:55]
  • "He’s like, 'You off to pull some birds then?'" – Dan [01:16]
  • Dan admits to just nodding along to avoid confrontation, joking, "We should have been like, we’re mega gay, we’re gonna go pull each other." – Phil [01:32]

2. Kicking Off 2026: Celebrate “Pink Mondays”

[02:00–04:12]

• New podcast Mondays are “Pink Mondays”—no more “Flaccid Mondays” when the show’s on hiatus.
• Both reflect on how “2026 sounds futuristic,” but the reality is less sci-fi, more social media chaos and AI disappointment.

3. Phil’s Birthday/Wishes for 2026

[03:09–04:12, 04:46–05:58]

• Phil laments his “tragically timed” January birthday but jokes about getting creative cakes from Dan (e.g., “Megadilf” or “Happy Twink Death”).
• Dan threatens “offensively shaped cakes” for future birthdays.

4. Tumblr Award: 2025 Tumblr White Boy of the Year

[04:41–05:38]

• Dan and Phil collectively win the “White Boy of the Year” award on Tumblr.
  • "Collectively, our audience… voted us 50/50. We combined." – Phil [04:50]
  • Amused that their “bare minimum” sufficed: "Did we win by doing the bare minimum? – Yes. Sick. We take it." – Dan & Phil [05:30]

5. Psychic Predictions and Buffy Tarot Reading

[05:38–09:07]

• Phil shares family psychic traditions and performs a Buffy the Vampire Slayer tarot reading.
  • Recaps past prediction:
    "Last time I did a tarot card reading, I predicted Dan into reality." – Phil [06:20]
• The cards for 2026:
  • "The Lovers": Radical honesty and communication needed for relationship success.
  • "Wheel of Fortune": “A lot of good karma is coming our way.” – Phil [08:49]
  • Dan jokes about going on a game show and justice for enemies:
    “May the inevitable death of your enemies come swift.” – Dan [08:55]

6. Holiday Recap: Christmas with Family

[10:02–13:53]

• Dan survived his first Christmas with Phil’s family, endured “northern” social traditions, and had his hand nearly crushed by a neighbor’s handshake.
  • “I went in trying to be polite. And he literally crushed me.” – Dan [11:08]
• Attempted fitting in with beer and “business chat,” even as neighbors grilled Dan about how podcasts make money.

7. Grandma as a Reincarnated Robin

[13:11–14:10]

• Phil’s family tradition: grandma’s spirit returns each year as a robin.
  • “Phil’s mum thinks that their grandma has been reincarnated as a robin.” – Dan [13:24]
  • “That is 100% grandma Dorothy.” – Phil [13:38]

8. Polar Vortex & Partying with Resilience

[13:59–15:07]

• The two experience “the coldest cold” outside at a friend’s after finally arriving post-midnight.
  • “This was like… I’ve never felt cold like this.” – Dan [14:31]
  • “Every party there’s a girl vaping in a T-shirt.” – Dan [14:44]
• Both are humbled: “I think something happened to us on like a deep spiritual level.” – Phil [15:03]

9. Manifesting 2026 Plans and Swole Eras

[15:34–16:49]

• Both admit to “raw dogging life” sans concrete plans for 2026.
• Phil claims “I’m gonna be huge. Fucking massive.” – Phil [16:09]
  • Dan is skeptical, "You have to lift something… I don't identify as a beefy person." – Dan [16:11, 16:46]
• Discussion skips toward “twunk era” possibilities.

10. Sports, Yaoi, and Fan Culture

[19:44–21:44]

• They discuss not yet seeing “Heated Rivalry” (hockey gay drama) but express excitement for its “explicit and emotional” content.
• Reflect on sports anime/TV and the sudden fame of actors:
  • "They expected to be domestic Canada famous, …the ‘fugees of the world said, no, you will be known across this land." – Dan [20:34]
• Discourse on “shipping,” fanfic, and the fine line for actor privacy:
  • “No one likes people digging up where they live… maybe not that stuff.” – Dan [21:14]

11. Pears: The Secret Plot

[22:49–24:44]

• Phil theorizes 2026 is “the year of pears,” referencing a viral tweet questioning who actually eats pears.
  • “Who the fuck eats pears? … I never see anyone eat or even talk about pears.” – Nicole Shed tweet, [23:01]
  • Dan observes: “No one eats pears. …It’s, like, not something you’d ever choose.” [23:27]
  • Pear trees and their questionable odor are recounted with gusto (“smell of, like, heated rivalry…cum” [24:32]).

12. Minions as Cultural Touchstone

[25:33–27:42]

• Both reveal neither has watched a full Minions film, pondering their unlikely demographic.
  • “What is the target demo for Minions? …I think it's five year olds and yet it's actually 45 year olds. It's your aunt who’s made her whole thing ‘live, laugh, love’ with someone going banana Facebook.” – Dan [26:04]
• Minion wanking sticker is fondly remembered as the ultimate Facebook emoji.

13. Weird News: Oldest Cat & Psychic Aliens

[28:28–30:52]

• Phil shares a fact about “Flossy,” a 30-year-old cat in London.
• Drops a Baba Vanga prediction: a colossal alien spaceship will arrive in November 2026.
  • "She predicted 9/11. She predicted Covid. And she predicted the spaceship coming in November." – Phil [29:57]
  • Dan and Phil debate whether they’d want to be abducted. Phil is ready: “I'm getting swole so they'll pick me for their space party.” – Phil [30:12]

14. Audience Hard Launches and Community Calls

[31:27–36:05]

• Voicemails from fans cover bidets ("Power washing that booty hole" – Mal [31:34]), being kind to bugs (“The world is so big for them to exist.” – Natasha [32:48]), and being “cringe but free.”
  • "Cringe as a concept only exists because people have determined that certain things are embarrassing… we should stop caring." – Alex [33:49]
  • Dan (contrarian) suggests: “I think some things are cringe. And that shame is important… the problem is people are saying the wrong things are cringe.” [34:06]
• Morgan credits the podcast with helping quit vaping:
  • “I told myself I’m not going to buy the Patreon subscription… unless I quit vaping.” – Morgan [35:02]

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On the New Year's Taxi Dilemma:

  • “We missed New Year's cause we were stuck in a taxi.” — Dan [00:06]
  • “I was vigorously scrubbing myself.” — Phil [00:38]

• On Passive Heteronormativity:

  • “You off to pull some birds then?” — Taxi Driver as recounted by Dan [01:16]
  • “We should have been like, we're mega gay, we're gonna go pull each other.” — Phil [01:32]

• On the Tumblr White Boy Award:

  • "We beat Jonathan Bailey. That's the only thing we've been doing." — Phil [05:08]
  • "Did we win by doing the bare minimum?" — Dan [05:30]

• The Lovers Tarot Card:

  • “It’s time for radical honesty, communication, and daily dedication if you want this to work.” — Phil [08:05]
  • “I'll settle for weekly. Yeah, how’s Mondays?” — Dan [08:13]

• On Fans & Shipping:

  • "No one likes people digging up where they live...maybe not that stuff." — Dan [21:14]
  • “Just don't be creepy to the actors.” — Phil [21:22]

• On Fruits & Pear Conspiracy:

  • “Who the fuck eats pears?” — Citing Nicole Shed’s tweet [23:01]
  • "No one eats pears...it's like, not something you'd ever choose." — Dan [23:27]

• On Cringe:

  • "The concept of cringe is cringe. Just enjoy stuff. Who gives a shit if you've got people going, 'ugh, I don't like you enjoying that because I'm boring.'" — Phil [33:53]
  • “I think that some things are cringe. And that shame is important… the problem is people are saying the wrong things are cringe.” — Dan [34:06]

• On Aliens and Psychic Predictions:

  • “Baba Vanga predicted a colossal alien spaceship will enter our atmosphere in November 2026.” — Phil [29:52]
  • “I'm getting swole so they'll pick me for their space party.” — Phil [30:12]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• New Year's Taxi Confessions: [00:00–01:46]
• Tarot Prediction for 2026: [05:38–09:07]
• Tumblr Award & White Boy of the Year: [04:41–05:38]
• Family Holiday Antics: [10:02–13:53]
• Pear Agenda Discourse: [22:49–24:44]
• Minions and Facebook Moms: [25:33–27:42]
• Listener “Hard Launches”: [31:27–36:05]
  • Bidet Advocacy: [31:31–32:23]
  • Don’t Squish Spiders: [32:33–33:33]
  • Cringe But Free: [33:34–34:58]
  • Quitting Vaping for the Podcast: [35:01–36:00]

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Tone and Style

• Unfiltered and explicitly queer, with recurring inside jokes and mutual roasting.
• Self-aware, meta-commentary on their fanbase, internet culture, and the act of “hard launching” on their own terms.
• Playful irreverence toward serious topics (e.g., aliens, reincarnation), always keeping things light.

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Summary

Dan and Phil’s first HARD LAUNCH of 2026 is a raucous blend of comedy, fan connection, and brutal candor. Between “cockblocked” New Year's mishaps, psychic tarot readings, generational miscommunications, and the looming invasion of “big pear,” the duo welcome their audience to a year that promises both chaos and camaraderie. Fans can expect more self-aware oversharing, plus plenty of community input—and perhaps a pear revolution.

Memorable closing sentiment:
"Psychic predictions, manifestations, alien abduction or the world healing and men going blast. We are so back." — Dan [36:16]

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Transcript

[A]

Happy New Year, Phil.

[B]

Happy New Year.

[A]

Guess who didn't share a kiss?

[B]

Us. No, we didn't.

[A]

Heartbreaking. We missed New Year's cause we were stuck in a taxi.

[B]

It was not my fault. You're about to say it was your fault.

[A]

I like that you're preempting that when it was entirely your fault. Because Phil got a stain on his shirt.

[B]

Look.

[A]

And it is as bad as you're imagining.

[B]

We went out for a meal. I got cream all over my shirt.

[A]

How'd you flip cream onto your own shirt?

[B]

Look, it happened. We were going to a friend's to watch the fireworks and I didn't want to turn up with a big white stain going up my shirt.

[A]

It did look awful. And Phil was in the bathroom for a while. We thought he was having issues. Apparently you were just scrubbing.

[B]

I was vigorously scrubbing myself.

[A]

Yeah, that's why the stain was there. And we were in a car and we just realized we weren't gonna make it in time. So I loaded up Iplayer to watch the fireworks on my phone.

[B]

It was quite sad. And I thought, you know, what with the countdown, we could maybe, you know, still celebrate it a bit.

[A]

We're have a nice little moment for ourselves. The problem is with the London taxi. You can completely see the driver sat at the front and I was making direct with him the whole time. And it was like the homophobic dog meme. I just saw this guy just staring.

[B]

At me in the rear view mirror.

[A]

I know what you are. So I think I just gave you a little like.

[B]

You did a little like, happy, happy New Year.

[A]

Yeah, bro. Happy New Year, bro. And then the guy turns to us and he's like, you off to pull some birds then.

[B]

Birds.

[A]

And I know what you're thinking. And this is when Dan and Phil stood up against assumed heterosexuality and said something. No, I just went, yup. No.

[B]

We should have been like, we're mega gay. We're gonna go pull each other.

[A]

Oh, my God, Carl. That's how you get stains on your shirt. Don't do that. Dan and Phil, they started the year by getting cock blocked and assumed to be straight.

[B]

Cock blocked. What are we gonna do in the back of the taxi?

[A]

Yikes.

[B]

2026. Hard Mondays.

[A]

Hard year, Hard Mondays with Dan and Phil on the Mail podcast.

[B]

We're back.

[A]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Welcome back.

[B]

Getting bringing you joy to this wonderful January.

[A]

Oh, sorry. Is it the cold? Sad. What is that Tuesday called Monday?

[B]

What do you mean?

[A]

Well, fuck it. Because if you're listening To Dan and Phil. It's Pink Mondays.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And it's great.

[B]

Purpley Pink Mondays.

[A]

Whoa.

[B]

Did you hear that? When we were not having a podcast, people were calling it Flaccid Monday.

[A]

Oh, my God. Did you guys have a flaccid Christmas without us?

[B]

Hey, we posted some stuff on Patreon. It was kind of like a semi Monday.

[A]

Wow. What? No, I hated that a little bit. How do you feel about 2026? It sounds futuristic.

[B]

It sounds like a year of opportunity and joy.

[A]

It sounds like when you were a child, you thought, we'll have flying cars and this thing called AI which does amazing stuff for us, when actually it just says homophobic things on Twitter.

[B]

I thought we'd be having sex with robots right now.

[A]

I think you can do that. No, I actually. Yeah. I think you're just not looking in the right places.

[B]

Oh, really?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Can we get one?

[A]

We. I'll get you your own one.

[B]

All right.

[A]

And I don't want to know about it.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Phil's birthday coming up soon. Phil's birthday is January 30th.

[B]

Nobody wants to do anything for my.

[A]

Birthday because I've got a sex robot Patreon.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Yeah. No, Phil. Devastatingly badly timed birthday. No one is going to want to celebrate at all. No.

[B]

And I'm going to get everyone's leftover.

[A]

Christmas chocolates that you can't even eat.

[B]

No.

[A]

Tragic. What are you hoping for your birthday?

[B]

I'm hoping that you.

[A]

Because I've already gotten you all your gifts because I'm really thoughtful.

[B]

I'm nervous about what you're gonna put on the cake, because I've had cakes from Dan that have said classics such as Megadilf.

[A]

Yep, I did say that once.

[B]

Twink. What was it?

[A]

It was a happy twink death. And then you bleached your hair and you got a happy twink rebirth.

[B]

Oh, yes.

[A]

Because you can rejuzz yourself. Rebrand yourself whenever you feel like there's.

[B]

Only so many cakes that you can think of. Dan, you're gonna run out.

[A]

I think I'm gonna get into offensively shaped cakes.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So you're giving me ideas now?

[B]

Also, as a magical gay, I. Stopp. I was 32.

[A]

You just chose to do that, which is a power that any of you can have.

[B]

Homosexuality brings you that power. What about 2026 for you, Daniel? How are you feeling? What's your vibe? Great start. Yeah. You know.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Would you bang a robot?

[A]

Venezuela.

[B]

Venezuela?

[A]

What?

[B]

No, that's not like podcast. Listen to a different one. Trump needs to go away, though.

[A]

Well, someone's not getting his visa for the next tour.

[B]

Oh, my God. This is why I don't literally. We're not gonna get in.

[A]

Not a joke.

[B]

We're not gonna get in manifests.

[A]

Something good for the air.

[B]

I'm gonna go through fricking security in a maga hat.

[A]

Oh, my God. Like. Well, when you see the picture, you'll know what happened. We're doing it for you. Just so we don't want us to visit you in Oklahoma. This is what it takes.

[B]

Damn.

[A]

Okay, we need positivity.

[B]

Positivity. We Are 2025 Tumblr White Boy of the Year.

[A]

Another fucking award that we have for sure.

[B]

Collectively, our audience.

[A]

This is your fault.

[B]

Voted us 50. 50% together. We combined.

[A]

The owner of this vote tried to pit us against each other. The world said no. We will defy the laws of mathematics. I don't even know how you did that. And now we are collectively the White Boy of the Year.

[B]

That's good news.

[A]

How'd you feel about that?

[B]

We beat Jonathan Bailey. That's the only thing we've been doing.

[A]

I mean, he won other awards, so get over it. With your ass and your sexy little glasses. Yeah, and your talent.

[B]

You know, my grandma was psychic.

[A]

Where's this going?

[B]

Well.

[A]

And she had a crazy ass, slight little glasses. She could sing.

[B]

Don't say that about Dorothy.

[A]

White boys, the bar is low. Did we win by doing the bare minimum?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Sick. We take it. Thank you, Tumblr. It's so back. They say that 2026 is the new 2016. Tumblr is proving that.

[B]

Tumblr is back 100%. I was talking about my grandma because back shots. She was.

[A]

She.

[B]

Dan, she's not alive.

[A]

Does that make it better or worse?

[B]

Worse. Okay, we are speaking about her because she liked to make psychic predictions about the year, and I thought I could carry on.

[A]

What do you mean?

[B]

Genetic legacy.

[A]

Oh, she was superstitious. Yes.

[B]

A tarot card reading did you just pull?

[A]

It was in Buffy the Vampire Slayer Tarot card set out of your anus.

[B]

It was in my asshole.

[A]

You were just sat on that. That must be so uncomfortable.

[B]

It was because I was waiting to do this magical tarot card reading.

[A]

Oh, that explains why you're in such a bad mood. You had a cardboard oblong.

[B]

I did.

[A]

In your rectum.

[B]

So I've got Buffy themed tarot deck. Last time I did a tarot card reading, I predicted Dan into reality.

[A]

Ah, one of the great fan lore moments.

[B]

The Knight of Wands. So some guy is gonna have a big impact. An energetic warrior. He has a hasty personality and he's very quick to love or hate.

[A]

Hmm.

[B]

Yes. I pulled something called the Knight of Wands about six months before I met Dan, which said I was gonna be greeted by a man, an energetic warrior who is quick to love or hate. And it's you.

[A]

Quick to fucking what?

[B]

Just did it then? Hate. Bit of love. Hate.

[A]

Am I quick to hate? I think I'm nice. I don't think there's a valid reason to hate Dan Howell. I think you've got a weird problem if you've got that feeling.

[B]

You're quick to sarcasm. Maybe that's what it is.

[A]

If you can't swallow that, that's your problem.

[B]

Do you believe that I predicted you and I made you into reality.

[A]

This is one of those things that I have to say yes to.

[B]

Yes. Because they all think tarot is real.

[A]

It's factual. It 100% decides the future.

[B]

So I'm gonna decide the future of us together, collectively.

[A]

Okay, this is the Dan and Phil hard launch 2026 vibe check. As genetically ordained by the Lester psychic powers.

[B]

Yeah, they're all Buffy themed as well. Oh, my God.

[A]

What?

[B]

Wait, I just revealed that one. This is the episode we watched last night.

[A]

Oh, last night we watched the Buffy musical episode where there was what?

[B]

The lovers.

[A]

Oh, my God. The lesbian witch is on a bridge. There's a scene in Buffy the Vampire Slayer with lesbian witches sitting on a lesbian bridge. We watched that last night.

[B]

Lesbian bridge.

[A]

Oh my God.

[B]

What does that mean?

[A]

The lovers.

[B]

Are we the lovers? Is this a great clickbait thumbnail?

[A]

Dan and Phil are the lovers. Yeah. No shit. We made an hour long video about it. What does it mean?

[B]

It's time for radical honesty, communication and daily dedication. If you want this to work.

[A]

I'll settle for weekly. Yeah, how's Mondays?

[B]

Daily communication. Right, let's pick one more. Which is the future? That's the present. We need to communicate more. Think about me. Think about me on a beach. Close your eyes, say stop.

[A]

Say stop. And we're on a pontoon. Oh, that cup sandwich is coming back up. Right, this is the universe and everybody listening's 2016 vibe. And by that I meant 2026.

[B]

Choose one. Okay.

[A]

Oh, I snatched one. It's the Wheel of Fortune. That's gotta be good. Phil, this is when you tell me it's like disease.

[B]

It's all about life's inevitable cycles. Dan.

[A]

Oh my God.

[B]

A lot of good karma is coming.

[A]

Our way and justice for those who deserve it.

[B]

And we might go lightning bol. And we might go on a game show together.

[A]

100%. And we'll win. That's what it means. All right, well, good luck to everybody going on the chase. And also, may the inevitable death of your enemies come swift because you never.

[B]

Got any New Year's hand squeezed. Do you want it now?

[A]

Well, you're doing like a claw motion in like a very scary happy New Year. Like a hag in a shack, squeezing you while going child run. Yeah, okay. Well, thank you. Phil loves horoscopes and tarot. Yeah, I obviously believe in nothing. I believe that there is universal knowledge and perspectives to learn from horoscopes and tarot that anyone can apply to anything in their life at any moment. And that is valid regardless of whether there is mystical energy or not.

[B]

If I hadn't pulled that card, you would be a lawyer right now.

[A]

Oh, as if you didn't draw the Knight of Wands. I literally wouldn't be satin in an inflatable chair right now.

[B]

You'd be lying on that boardroom table.

[A]

Lying on the table?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Why am I lying on the table?

[B]

We know what they do in those law firms.

[A]

All right, so that's the new year. Welcome, everybody.

[B]

Objection.

[A]

I had a lovely Christmas. That restful energy is going out the window quick.

[B]

Our first Christmas together. That was nice.

[A]

Santa visited in the night. I got a stocking.

[B]

I like that you said Santa.

[A]

Yeah, And I got fruit.

[B]

Do you know what time Santa came?

[A]

Was that a homophobic attack from Santa?

[B]

You got other stuff as well. You got a Toblerone in there.

[A]

That makes it worse.

[B]

Why?

[A]

An apple, a satsuma and a Toblerone.

[B]

That's a cock in a sock and some chapstick.

[A]

I'm being read by your mum right now. No Santa. Thank you very much for that.

[B]

Santa breached into our bedroom at 4 o' clock in the morning. I heard a little jingle.

[A]

I think you've been reading too much fanfic. We had to do the rounds with your extended family friends. We did because I wasn't aware of. And as a generally socially drained person, that was quite a big ask for me. Oh, surprise. Boxing Day. We're going to visit the neighbors.

[B]

The hoomst Dan was plunged into some northern family life. Yeah, I think we tried to amalgamate.

[A]

Ourselves chatting with a 70 year old man from Lancashire who almost crushed my hand into a snortable powder.

[B]

He's got a strong fist.

[A]

Yeah. And I don't. Apparently. I went in trying to Be polite. And he literally crushed me.

[B]

And he was like, what are you drinking, lads? What are you drinking? And you were like, I was honestly.

[A]

Thinking, it's three in the afternoon. I could go for a coffee and a biscuit right now. Anyway, we got Stella, we got Budweiser, we got some. The wife was like, we've got some record Lick. And he was like, no, none of that cider.

[B]

But Dan, you said in an almost slightly northern accent, I'll have a beer.

[A]

I'll have a beer.

[B]

We both drank that whole.

[A]

Stella, though, we manned up and we drank a lukewarm can of beer at 2 in the afternoon. And we talked about money with your neighbor. Because straight old men, they just want to talk about business.

[B]

They just want to talk about business.

[A]

So, Dan and Phil, you got a podcast now. I've had a radio my whole life. What is this podcast business and how does it work? And I'm like, I don't. Like. I don't know. You can listen to it on YouTube. Is that. Listen. Yeah, on YouTube. He kept talking about the money as well. It was like, so, how do you make money from this? And I was like, I actually don't really know. I don't really ask these questions.

[B]

Well, speaking of money, thank you to the sponsor of. I'm kidding. Is it time? Is it time?

[A]

What the fuck? No, Phil.

[B]

Oh, dar.

[A]

I see. It's a northern thing, is it?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm sorry, but my granddad is the same. I love my grandad, I think, yes. No chat. That's all he knows how you think? I see him and he goes, so, Daniel, how are the stocks? I don't. Granddad, I don't know what a stock is.

[B]

What is a stock?

[A]

I don't do that.

[B]

No, they're just trying to connect with you, Dan. That's what it is. They think this. They know what money is. They don't know what gay stuff is.

[A]

They don't want to talk about heated rivalry.

[B]

They don't want to know what poppers do.

[A]

I don't want to think about my granddad and poppers.

[B]

Sorry.

[A]

Oh, my God. Okay. I'm just saying, what else is into gardening?

[B]

Gardening. You could be like, seen any good plants in December?

[A]

He'd fucking die. I hope not. I got him a thermal vest. I want him to wear many, many socks and sit in a chair.

[B]

We saw the resurrection of my grandma.

[A]

You explain that. I'm not gonna add into it after you already got absconded.

[B]

We saw a robin and it followed us all the way down the walk from tree to bush to tree.

[A]

Phil's mum thinks that their grandma has been reincarnated as a robin.

[B]

And she visits every Christmas in a.

[A]

Way that is kind of cute and also kind of a bit disturbing in a sentimental way. Cause you'll be out walking in a park and she'll go, oh, there's Grandma Dorothy.

[B]

Yeah. She's like, that is 100% grandma Dorothy.

[A]

And I'm like, you want me to think that that actual bird right there is your grandma?

[B]

I just think it'd be traumatizing.

[A]

Do I need to hiss at the cat that's on that fence before your grandma gets murked by that ginger?

[B]

Yeah. The cat was getting quite close and I was like, this could be the end, part two.

[A]

And then she'll be reincarnated as what? Let's not go there. I almost died on New Year's Eve. Polar vortex.

[B]

What happened then? We experienced something together that was disturbing weather event. So we went to our friend's place. We stood outside.

[A]

When we arrived at 4am after being put back in the closet by the.

[B]

Taxi driver, I had to talk about birds and boobs and nipples.

[A]

Oh, the birds. Yeah. My grandma's doing fine, thanks.

[B]

And we were outside and suddenly I think a hole opened in the ozone layer directly to space.

[A]

It became -25 in the exact area in someone's garden that we were stood in.

[B]

I've been cold before. I've been to Iceland. I've been to Sweden in the winter. This was like.

[A]

I have never felt cold like this.

[B]

I heard my eyes start to crystallize.

[A]

The weather app said minus one. I was like, shut up. Why are you lying?

[B]

For that second, I think it went to minus 40.

[A]

And of course, as happens at every party, there was a fucking girl vaping in a T shirt.

[B]

Every. Ow.

[A]

We were wearing what, like, T shirt, sweater, coat, jacket and a parka hats. And we borrowed gloves because we wanted to stand outside. And this girl was just going, it's not that bad. I was like, what is wrong with you?

[B]

I think something happened to us on like a deep spiritual level.

[A]

The mango was running through her veins.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Do you actually think something weird happened that, like, we should speak to science about?

[A]

No, I think we're just speak to science. Yes, I want to call the.

[B]

Hello, Science.

[A]

I want to speak to the science. Yeah, I'm gonna get you a Karen hot dialing keypad which has army, coast guard manager and science.

[B]

If I could speak to science, we'd get a lot done is all I'M saying.

[A]

And what would you choose to get? What would be Phil's priorities if he could speak to science. Yeah.

[B]

But overall, we had a lovely time.

[A]

Yeah. You feel refreshed and ready to.

[B]

I'm so ready to do all of these plans that we have planned.

[A]

That's ominous. Phil's saying that, like, we have a plan.

[B]

We don't have a full plan. We've not had our plan chat.

[A]

Every single day. We're terrifyingly raw doging life.

[B]

There's always one day in January where we have a plan chat and it's not happened yet.

[A]

And how many of those plans do we see through? Like one.

[B]

Like, maybe one.

[A]

Like, maybe two.

[B]

One and a half.

[A]

Yeah. It's like a nice idea thing.

[B]

Yeah. I'm gonna be huge.

[A]

Oh, my God. We're not. No, we're not going there. We're not going back to. Phil's gonna be huge. 20, 26.

[B]

Fucking massive.

[A]

You have to lift something. You can't just eat and take steroids.

[B]

I'm gonna be so muscular. We're gonna have to get a new chair. My thigh is gonna be the size of this chair.

[A]

Okay, well, we're gonna get some new sponsors in for that. We are Wide shorts. Extra wide shorts.

[B]

Meaty leg.

[A]

What inspired that?

[B]

I just want to know what it feels like to have an ab.

[A]

Well, you do. They're just, like, under.

[B]

I don't have any.

[A]

You don't?

[B]

No.

[A]

That would explain your posture. You're just, like. You're constantly collapsing under yourself.

[B]

Do you want to join me, though? Swole era?

[A]

No.

[B]

Why?

[A]

What do you mean? I don't identify as a beefy person.

[B]

Imagine if your neck was like a triangle.

[A]

Twink rebirth. We need twunk errors. Inevitable heated rivalry is in. We need to hit the ice rink. We need to just skate and fight until we're in fighting form.

[B]

They're not skating and fighting, Dan. They're skating and fucking.

[A]

We wouldn't know because we haven't watched it.

[B]

We've not watched it yet.

[A]

It's not available. It will be soon. It's gonna be on Now TV in the UK. I can't wait to pay to watch it in 360p with ads now.

[B]

TV never loads, but there goes the sky sponsorship. Did you know this is a great way to watch things that might not be available to you in your area. Thanks to the sponsor of today's podcast.

[A]

Oh, my God. He did it.

[B]

NordVPN. Our children have returned to us.

[A]

Phil, that was beautiful.

[B]

They are our dads.

[A]

Me actually trying to have a conversation about the most exciting show in the world. And you're like, pause, let's talk about a virtual private network.

[B]

Do you know when you're in a.

[A]

Cafe and you're goning Canadian? What?

[B]

Yeah. Well, that's the thing. The cafe can see what you're looking at on the Internet, even if it is Canadian men having a good time. And what you need to do is get NORDVPN to protect your browsing data from cafes, airports, your sneaky brother looking at what you're looking at.

[A]

If you're Dan and Phil and you want to watch it in high quality, pretend you're in another country, stream that show. And then when you go on AO3 and you don't want people to know what you'd be doing, that hide your location.

[B]

We've.

[A]

And then when they go, do you want to click on this file to download extras? And you go, yeah. And then your computer sets on fire. There's threat protection.

[B]

There is.

[A]

Don't click on dodgy links.

[B]

No. And we've installed NordVPN on our TV so we can watch certain anime.

[A]

I think you get 10 devices per account. Fact. Dan knows a fact. Dan knows a fact about.

[B]

You know a fact. It's on my phone. It's on Dan's laptop. It's on our TV One account.

[A]

Got it on everywhere. Got it on the smart fridge. Got it on the bin. We say open can in Japan.

[B]

You can just switch your location, it's two clicks and suddenly you're in Japan or you're in America or you're in Canada for hockey reasons. We've got a very special deal just.

[A]

For our podcast as well, just for the pod audience.

[B]

If you go to nordvpn.com hardlaunch our link will give you an extra four months on your two year plan.

[A]

Wow. There is a 30 day guarantee to try it out. If you want to do it, link in description.

[B]

Do it. Protect your browsing. And thanks Nord for joining us.

[A]

Feel safe doing whatever you want to do, wherever you want to do it.

[C]

My dad taught me a lot, including how easy it is to forget to cancel things. So I downloaded Experian, my bff. Big financial friend. Experian could help me cancel my unused subscriptions and lower my bills, saving me hundreds a year. Get started with the Experian app today. Your big financial friends here to help you save smarter. Results will vary. Not all bills are subscriptions eligible. Savings not guaranteed. $631 a year. Average savings with one plus negotiations and one plus cancellations paid. Membership with connected payment account required. See experian.com for details.

[B]

Experian.

[A]

Can we actually talk about skating yaoi now?

[B]

Well, we have not watched it yet.

[A]

Oh, no, that's Yuri on Ice. This is fighting on ice.

[B]

They were fighting.

[A]

I've seen one hockey game and that was a fight.

[B]

Did they fight?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Did you think any of them were secretly getting it on?

[A]

Statistically, sports is full of gay people. It's gonna happen.

[B]

You've seen the Olympics. Apparently Grindr goes wild.

[A]

Apparently it shuts down. Yeah. Yeah. I am excited. Cause I've heard it's both extremely explicit and emotional.

[B]

I like that combination.

[A]

Hell, yeah.

[B]

Usually I'm not very sporty, but I've seen some sports anime which is quite compelling, where you're like, oh, my God, they're rivals. And they're gonna.

[A]

We've watched so much haikyuu. What are the rules of volleyball? Don't have a fucking clue. But we are in the drama. The tension 100%.

[B]

Also crazy how these actors have gone so famous so fast. It must be quite overwhelming for them.

[A]

This was a Canadian show. They expected to be domestic Canada famous. And then the fugees of the world said, no, you will be known across this land.

[B]

This is why TV networks need to learn. We want more gay.

[A]

Exactly. Spread the cheeks and spread the message.

[B]

And the people will come.

[A]

I think they have been probably. People have been watching it in sports bars. Phil.

[B]

It made me think, though, that there's a lot of people with a lot of eyes on these actors who might.

[A]

Not some prayers for them. They did not know what they were getting in for. No.

[B]

I think it all depends on how real people feel about being shipped and fan fictioned. We're quite chill about that, actually.

[A]

Yeah. No one likes people digging up where they live or coming up with a list of everyone that they dated in high school.

[B]

No.

[A]

So maybe not the that stuff.

[B]

I'd say just don't be creepy to the actors.

[A]

I don't even want to know what's happening on that Tumblr tag.

[B]

Well, we're gonna have a look. Cause we're watch it soon.

[A]

We're gonna have a look.

[B]

No, not on the Tumblr tag.

[A]

It feels like I pre saved it.

[B]

We're gonna have a look at the.

[A]

Literally.

[B]

Literally. And I've heard there is really a lot, apparently. I've seen some GIFs and people want.

[A]

To see Dan and Phil's hot takes on the GIFs.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Look at the lava lamp behind you. It's growing. God, the lava lamp is like. No, keep talking. More.

[B]

Keep talking.

[A]

Wait, wait, wait. It's about to separate. Oh, there we go.

[B]

Oh, it's done, boy.

[A]

Preggers. Oh, and something exciting over on our Patreon for the fam tier supporters. We're gonna start a new little thing that has been highly requested for many years.

[B]

Yes. I'm so excited about this.

[A]

It's gonna be the film club with a ph.

[B]

The Dan and Film Club people wanna.

[A]

See us reacting to your favorite things that we have not shared our opinions on or even seen yet.

[B]

Yeah. And we couldn't put that on YouTube because you can'.

[A]

No.

[B]

So we're gonna do it on Patreon.

[A]

You wanna watch Dan and Phil watch Twilight? Fuck yeah. Come hang out with us. It's gonna be a scary experience.

[B]

Heated rivalry.

[A]

Dan and Phil watching heated rivalry for the first time. Okay, I'm scared.

[B]

Yeah. If you wanna get on in the action and also get an extra load of yapping from us today.

[A]

15 minutes bonus yap after every podcast.

[B]

To patreon.com danandphil you're the people that.

[A]

Are keeping this crazy train running. Thank you.

[B]

Thank you. I've got a hot take for 2026.

[A]

I'm terrified. Go on.

[B]

For. I feel like big pear are making their move. It's gonna be the year of pears.

[A]

Okay, this thing, big pear industry is saying, we're not doing enough. We need to do pear propaganda.

[B]

This was sparked off by this tweet I saw from Nicole Shed. Who the fuck eats pears? I never see anyone eat or even talk about pears.

[A]

That is so true.

[B]

People talk about every other single fucking fruit in existence except for Pearson. Does no one like fucking pears? And that's the thing. I saw that tweet the next day on the tube.

[A]

Say it.

[B]

I saw someone eating a pear.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

In the wild, a man in a business. Oh, my.

[A]

The fuck is who. No one eats pears.

[B]

Slobbering all over it. They're very juicy as well, aren't they?

[A]

You could barely contain that thing.

[B]

Have you ever seen someone eat a pear? No. Exactly.

[A]

I've only seen me or you eat a pear in a situation where we've been like, why is a pear here?

[B]

But it's, like, not something you'd ever choose.

[A]

No. I had a pear ice lolly once and it was the worst thing I'd ever had in my life. It tasted like hairy pear skin.

[B]

But then if you think of fruits, you think pears, like in the main Avengers, right? Apple, pear, orange.

[A]

Yeah. Apples and pears is the thing that people say.

[B]

Strawberry.

[A]

Where are the pears?

[B]

This is gonna be the year of pears.

[A]

I agree. There's, like, a big plot to make them more relevant, and it hasn't worked yet. Watch out. They're going hard for.

[B]

You've heard this. You're gonna start seeing pears everywhere. People are gonna be noshing on em.

[A]

Also, isn't it the pear, the country? This is a thing.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

The flowers of the pear tree are the trees that smell like.

[B]

Yes. Our OG apartment was next to a.

[A]

Street filled with pear fruit trees that smell of, like, heated rivalry.

[B]

Come. It was so bad. Like, you would literally walk out of our.

[A]

And gag.

[B]

It was so pungent. And it is. That is what that tree smells like. Can you say cum, Richard?

[A]

Can we get Richard? Okay. Yes. Yes. Thank fuck. Oh, my God. Here she is.

[B]

Richard, we've missed you. Did you have a nice Christmas?

[A]

Jiggle, jiggle, jiggle. Sorry. Whoa. I was jiggling the balls.

[B]

Oh, my gosh.

[A]

I forgot that we put breast stickers. So that really made it look like I was just going, hey, Richard, how you doing? Jiggle, jiggle, jiggle.

[B]

What do you mean, breast stickers? They're eyes, Dan.

[A]

I thought they were tits.

[B]

No.

[A]

Are they eyes?

[B]

They're eyes.

[A]

I forgot.

[B]

You see, Richard in a whole new life.

[A]

I forgot. And I thought they were boobs. I am so sorry.

[B]

Give him a twist.

[A]

You do it.

[B]

You do it.

[A]

I do it every week.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Oh, he's cranking. He's yanking.

[B]

There we go.

[A]

Thank you for your service, madame. Sorry for disrespecting you.

[B]

Whoa. And in the red ball today, we have.

[A]

I'm ready. The topic of the tension's killing me.

[B]

Minions. Great start to the new year.

[A]

Gru did not know what he was creating. Not in terms of his own Minions. In terms of destroying Facebook forever.

[B]

Can I make a confession? I've not seen Minions. I'm sorry. I saw half of Minions two on a plane.

[A]

I've seen. Yeah, half of Minions one.

[B]

You haven't seen it either?

[A]

I haven't seen the whole of Minions, No.

[B]

Are we terrible people?

[A]

Are we supposed to be in the target demo for Minions?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Talk about that. What is the target demo for Minions? Because I think it's five year olds and yet it's actually 45 year olds. It's your aunt who's made her whole thing live, laugh, love with someone going banana Facebook.

[B]

Dads love a minion, and it's Fucking weird. You like that minion? Like, wanking sticker.

[A]

Okay, Back when people used Facebook eight years ago, there were Facebook stickers.

[B]

You used that one.

[A]

You are so destructive. You say seven words that require so much talking to explain.

[B]

That's why we talk about Minions.

[A]

Facebook stickers. There were sticker packs. You could have, like, emojis, and I'd be like, oh, look, it's Pusheen. Yeah, fucking Pusheen. Capitalist sellout.

[B]

Leave her alone. Minions.

[A]

There was a minion sticker set, and for some fucking reason, there was just a minion that was going like this.

[B]

And Dan used that in every opportunity.

[A]

And it was like they were replicating the different emojis, and we were like, what? What fucking emoji is this?

[B]

Do you think you'd ever use it when you're like, hey, do you wanna come to bed?

[A]

No. But a friend would be like, are you coming over to mine later? And I'd go. And they'd be like, dan, please fucking stop with that minion thing.

[B]

I know there's a minion called Phil. Is he a good one, do you think? I don't know.

[A]

He's homophobic.

[B]

Oh, what do they do for Gru?

[A]

I don't want to think about that. It's kind of like a Sparta situation.

[B]

Are they good or bad?

[A]

Are they bad when he wants them to be?

[B]

I think they are chaotic, evil, neutral. Gru wants the moon. I know that. What does he want with the moon?

[A]

All right, thank you, Richard. I think it's time.

[B]

Is it our homework to watch Minions? It's not even called Minions. It's called Despicable Me.

[A]

Gonna watch Despicable Me 1, 2, 3, 4. Or the other nine Minions films, okay? On Patreon.

[D]

Hey, it's Brooklyn Adams, and I'm partnering with Abercrombie to tell you about the newest drop from their Active brand. Your personal best. YPB leggings are made with butterf soft fabrics that hug you in all the right places. And Common Abercrombie's viral curve love fit, designed to eliminate waist gap, paired with sports bras and super soft sweatshirts. It's activewear that supports every part of my busy lifestyle and gives me my best butt ever. Head into the new year feeling your personal best. Shop Active by Abercrombie in the app, online and in stores.

[B]

Do you want me to actually give you some strong knowledge?

[A]

Hit me, Phil.

[B]

Here's the thing.

[A]

Ah, wait, wait, wait. I got you a Channel 5 esque lighting look.

[B]

Oh. It's making me feel anxious.

[A]

We're on the news. It's exciting. Imagine the news button. Dun dun dun. Phil, here's the thing. Go.

[B]

Here's the thing. Old pussy in the news. Did you know there is a cat that is is 30 years old? Flossy in London, I am Beastle. The oldest cat ever is flossy.

[A]

Flossy8.

[B]

So it only has another eight years to go and it'll be the oldest cat in the world.

[A]

Still got it. Unk.

[B]

Hey, I'm 32. I froze your eggs. Do you know unk means uncle?

[A]

Yeah, that's.

[B]

There's like this whole thing on Twitter at the moment where people are saying it means uncool or uncertain.

[A]

Well, shut up. People that are wrong.

[B]

Imagine being 30 and a cat.

[A]

What? I'm a cat boy and I'm in my 30s.

[B]

Aw, look at Flossy though.

[A]

Flossy looks younger than me. Yeah, Flossy looks how I feel. Emotionally tired. Trying her best. Hanging on.

[B]

Well, we wish you another strong decade, Flossy.

[A]

100%.

[B]

Kick the shit out of that Texan cat to 40. Here's the thing. The dead Bulgarian blind mystic Baba Vaga predicted a colossal alien spaceship will enter our atmosphere in November 2026.

[A]

What the fuck did you just say?

[B]

She died. Right. But she predicted things.

[A]

Rest in peace.

[B]

All the way into the future so we would know what's coming up next. She predicted 9, 11. She predicted Covid. And she predicted the spaceship coming in November.

[A]

Oh, is that the wheel of Fortune?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Great.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Well, Phil confirmed it.

[B]

Why? I'm getting swole so they'll pick me for their space party.

[A]

Phil is looking to be actively selected for the probing.

[B]

I am.

[A]

What is it about being blind that adds to your mystic credential? Why was that added to the list?

[B]

Like Spider man, it's like the extra sense is stronger. Wow. Oh, wait. Spider man isn't blind. That's Daredevil.

[A]

That is Daredevil. What other things?

[B]

Spider man is sticky and if you're.

[A]

Autistic, you smell great.

[B]

Autistic?

[A]

I'm just adding things. The autistic purple haired, furry mystic.

[B]

Oh, right, John. They might have been autistic and a furry. They're just not listing that as part of their.

[A]

And they work in cybersecurity and they're very successful.

[B]

I choose to believe that aliens are coming in November 2026.

[A]

And do they have good intentions?

[B]

Yeah, for sure. They're gonna be like, here's the cure for everything. Now you live forever.

[A]

Oh, God, I don't live forever.

[B]

And here's this new plant?

[A]

No, I'm with Flossie. I'm just trying to hang on and then we'll see what happens. Okay, well, thank you for that, Phil. I now think it's time to let the audience have a say. Yeah, it's not all us yapping because. Oh, shit. I need to stop the thing. There we go.

[B]

I'm glad that's gone.

[A]

I programmed that for you. Did you like your news lights?

[B]

I love it.

[A]

Yeah. Okay, well, welcome to the Hard Launch podcast, which is, you know, we said that we're gay and now you can say stuff. Let's get a cooler.

[B]

Here we go.

[A]

Hi, Danifil. My name is Mal and I want a hard launch.

[B]

Trying to convince my roommate to get a bidet toilet.

[A]

They're not as common here in the us But I believe that if you ain't power washing that booty hole, then you ain't clean.

[B]

Power washing that booty hole.

[A]

Don't actually do that with a power washer. You will hurt yourself very badly.

[B]

Oh, yeah, they're strong.

[A]

Power Wash Simulator. More like Power Wash Stimulator in Japan.

[B]

It does feel good to get that jet up here your ass, though, doesn't it?

[A]

It feels absolutely fucking incredible.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I don't know why bidets aren't mandatory in all new construction. Globally.

[B]

Yes, because I saw the thing that said, if you have pooed on your hand, you're gonna really want to wash your hand.

[A]

You know what? That's a great way to put it, Phil. And we out here just like rubbing yourself with paper jet. No. Hydro pump.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

100% sperm whale blowpipe.

[B]

I'm thinking we all need a bidet.

[A]

Yeah, let's get one of those Japanese ones.

[B]

Yeah. That plays Bird Song Heats the sea massage.

[A]

Lovely. We 100% agree. Next.

[D]

Hi, I'm Natasha from Tennessee, and I'm hard launching that. Everybody should be nicer to bugs and spiders. And everybody should try to not squish them when they see them and be gentle and nice to them because they're.

[C]

Just nice to them.

[A]

These beautiful little creatures that are living.

[D]

In a world that's so big for them. The world is so big when you're that tiny.

[A]

The world is so big for them to exist. Okay, so not for, like, a general moral reason or like, they eat flies. Spider Bros are great, but they're so small.

[B]

That sounds like they can't reach the top shelf in the kitchen or get themselves some cereal.

[A]

Can't fucking relate to that. Am I right, long brother?

[B]

It's Too big for them, bro.

[A]

The universe is big for all of us. Have you thought about that?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, what, because we're so big compared to Earth?

[B]

I'm not on a squash team, though. I'm always a glass. Throw out the window side. Fend for yourself. You're not leaving the mask.

[A]

You're not like a post person trying to deliver something is the every guy in his shorts and you just throw a spider at him.

[B]

Yeah. Sorry, dude.

[A]

Sounds like a problem for you.

[B]

We agree.

[A]

Next.

[B]

Next.

[A]

Hi, Dan and Phil. Hi. My name's Alex. I'm from the US and I would like to hard launch being cringe, but free. Cringiness as a concept only exists because people have determined that certain things are embarrassing to enj. We should stop caring what other people think about us.

[B]

I agree. The concept of cringe is cringe. Like stop saying things are cringe. Just enjoy stuff. Who gives a shit if you've got people going, ugh, I don't like you enjoying that because I'm boring.

[A]

I disagree.

[B]

What, Dan?

[A]

I think that some things are cringe.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And that shame is important.

[B]

Right.

[A]

I just feel like the problem is people are saying the wrong things are cringe.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Furries are not cringe.

[B]

No.

[A]

Let them do their thing. E. Girls on TikTok do that fucking dance.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Live your life. Have fun. Some things, though, are cringe.

[B]

Like what?

[A]

Turning Point usa.

[B]

Yes. That is cringe.

[A]

It's cringe, okay?

[B]

We're allowed to cringe at some things.

[A]

Some things are embarrassing and awful.

[B]

The worst time to cringe is when people are expressing themselves artistically or putting themselves out there.

[A]

If you're living your life harmlessly doing things for you, that's okay. Telling other people what they should feel ashamed about is more cringe.

[B]

Yeah. Don't cringe on people who are in fandoms because that's usually misogynistic.

[A]

Oh, my God. Yes.

[B]

Next.

[E]

Hi, Deneville. My name is Morgan.

[B]

Hi.

[E]

I'm from the United States and I want to hard launch that. Because of the Hard Launch podcast, I have quit vaping.

[B]

What?

[E]

When the podcast came out, I told myself I am not going to buy the Patreon subscription. Going with a vape every week. I told myself I'm gonna give myself one or the other. And I have consistently kept up with not buying one because if I ended up buying a vape, I would cancel my subscription.

[A]

Yeah, I'm not gonna do that.

[B]

Don't vape. Get on the Patreon instead.

[A]

Certified Dan and Phil is a dangerous addiction. We love to see it. Thank you all. Are we bad for your health?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Mental, I think we're good. Spiritual?

[B]

I think we're good. We're better than a mango Blast to the lungs.

[A]

I think that happens in heated rivalry episode four.

[B]

Oh, did it. All right, man. Go blast.

[A]

All the way up to the lungs.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Whoa.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm gonna need a VPN to watch that.

[B]

Yeah. Thank you.

[A]

Beautiful, wholesome message.

[B]

That's really great. Thank you. I'm glad that you're not vaping, and I'm glad that you're in our little community.

[A]

Well, that was wonderful. What a start to the year. Psychic predictions, manifestations of alien abduction or.

[B]

The world healing and men going blast.

[A]

We are so back.

[B]

I feel so back. Doesn't it feel good to be back?

[A]

It feels so good to be.

[B]

We've even got our knees crossed over. We're so relaxed. It's been such a.

[A]

Spread it, Phil.

[B]

I am. It's been such a great time.

[A]

Well, thank you for joining us. We hope that this has given you another reason to make it through your Mondays. And stay tuned to the hard launch.

[B]

Bye.