America's Best Palestinian Comic - Mo Amer

Summary

Podcast Summary: "America's Best Palestinian Comic - Mo Amer"

Podcast Information:

• Title: Hasan Minhaj Doesn't Know
• Host: Hasan Minhaj
• Guest: Mo Amer
• Release Date: July 30, 2025
• Description: Two-time Peabody Award-winning comedian and noted IBS sufferer Hasan Minhaj engages with prominent figures in politics, culture, and tech through thought-provoking and often absurd questions. Each episode fosters a curated exchange tailored to the guest’s background, aiming to provide answers for curious minds.

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1. Hotel Checkout Negotiations

The episode kicks off with a humorous discussion about securing a late hotel checkout. Mo Amer shares his strategies for negotiating with hotel staff, emphasizing the importance of portraying entitlement through performance.

• Mo Amer: "You have to call the front desk. Be like, hello, sorry, my flight was canceled out of Europe. They'll say no. And then you say, I need to speak to your manager and keep taking it up the ladder." (00:15)

Mo demonstrates his technique by role-playing a hotel checkout scenario, highlighting the effectiveness of persistence and maintaining an assertive demeanor.

• Mo Amer: "That's how you do the 6pm checkout. Make your daddy glad." (02:44)

2. The Realness Lexicon and Standup Comedy

Hasan introduces the concept of the "Realness Lexicon," a set of codes Mo developed with his friend Azhar to assess and handle various situations, akin to a comedic survival guide.

• Hasan: "We talked about this idea of the situation, tell people what the situation is, and basically how you taught me about how to handle a situation." (02:55)

Mo explains the origins of the lexicon, drawing parallels to navigating life’s unpredictable challenges with humor and preparedness.

• Mo Amer: "We created a whole lexicon around, you know, assessing the situation. Not a good situation." (03:43)

3. Mo Amer’s Family Background and the Gulf War

A deeply personal segment where Mo delves into his family’s tumultuous history during the Gulf War. He recounts his father’s abduction and his mother’s relentless efforts to secure his release.

• Mo Amer: "My dad was kidnapped in the middle of the night... My mom went on a three-week journey to find him." (07:58)

This narrative not only highlights the resilience of his parents but also underscores the generational trauma and displacement experienced by his family.

• Mo Amer: "There's generational displacement here. There's layered trauma." (15:09)

4. Comedy as a Bridge with the Military

Mo shares his extensive experience performing for U.S. troops, both before and after 9/11. He discusses how his comedy served as a means to humanize himself and bridge cultural gaps with soldiers.

• Mo Amer: "Comedy is the way I express myself... It creates a shift in thought." (33:42)

He emphasizes the transformative power of comedy in fostering understanding and empathy, recounting interactions where soldiers expressed remorse and gratitude after his performances.

• Mo Amer: "Most of them were really remorseful... They love me because I didn't judge them." (30:55)

5. Episode 208finale: Reconnecting with Roots

The conversation shifts to Mo’s pivotal Episode 208finale, an emotionally charged installment that intertwines archival footage with his personal journey back to his ancestral village. This episode serves as a homage to his father's legacy and the enduring bonds of family.

• Mo Amer: "I wanted people to know, like, this is real. This is not just some fictionalized thing." (43:03)

He describes the divine synchronicity that allowed him to capture authentic moments, including his mother's emotional reaction to revisiting their village and discovering forgotten family memories.

• Mo Amer: "Standing in my father's installed microphone and speaker system in the mosque... it was emotional." (39:32)

6. The Importance of Resolving Personal Conflicts

Towards the end, Mo reflects on his strained relationship with his late father and the importance of reconciling personal conflicts to prevent lifelong emotional burdens.

• Mo Amer: "If I see you with your parents having any kind of issues, you gotta get rid of it. Cause I know how incredibly painful it is." (46:17)

This introspective moment underscores the episode's theme of healing and the profound impact of familial relationships on personal growth.

7. Closing Gifts and Personal Connections

The episode concludes with a heartfelt exchange of gifts between Hasan and Mo, symbolizing their deep bond and mutual appreciation. This segment, while personal, reinforces the episode's themes of friendship, support, and the importance of meaningful relationships.

• Mo Amer: "I got you a gift from Texas. It's a cast iron boot cake. This is fire." (48:09)
• Hasan: "And then I just got another situation... a lawnmower for every situation." (48:35)

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Notable Quotes

• Mo Amer on Hotel Checkout: "You have to call the guy. You have to call the front desk. Be like, hello, sorry, my flight was canceled out of Europe. They'll say no." (00:15)

• Realness Lexicon Creation: "We created a whole lexicon around, you know, assessing the situation. Not a good situation." (03:43)

• Generational Trauma: "There's generational displacement here. There's more. There's layered trauma." (15:09)

• Comedy’s Impact: "Comedy is the way I express myself... It creates a shift in thought." (33:42)

• Reconnecting with Roots: "I wanted people to know, like, this is real. This is not just some fictionalized thing." (43:03)

• Resolving Conflicts: "If I see you with your parents having any kind of issues, you gotta get rid of it. Cause I know how incredibly painful it is." (46:17)

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Conclusion

In this compelling episode, Mo Amer opens up about his personal and professional journey, blending humor with profound narratives about family, identity, and resilience. Through his storytelling, listeners gain a deeper understanding of the complexities faced by Palestinian refugees and the transformative power of comedy in bridging cultural divides. The heartfelt exchanges and emotional revelations highlight the essence of the podcast: an authentic exploration of human experiences beyond conventional talking points.

Transcript

[A]

Lemonade.

[B]

You've been able to do things that I think no human being has ever been able to pull off. I think one of your greatest accomplishments is you've been able to pull off the 6pm checkout from a hotel.

[A]

Yes. Oh, the British voice is crucial for the 6pm Bro. You just have to be a British voice. Be super entitled. You had to put them under duress. Yes. So you have to call the guy. You have to call the front desk. Be like, hello, sorry, my flight was canceled out of Europe. They'll say no. And then you say, I need to speak to your manager and keep taking it up the ladder.

[B]

But I've seen you do it raw dog, no warmup. Or I've seen you dunk with Timberlands.

[A]

Look, you have to be pressed. If you're, like, calm and, you know, cool. Like, listen, I would really like, you know, 4pm checkout, please. That guy, you'll hang up on his face. No, you leave at 11. But if you call, like, listen, I need a 4pm checkup. This is so important. Thank you so much. Like, you assume that it's done right. Like Usher. I think I was in India touring with like, Hari Kunbolu or something like that. And I was doing shows in Egypt. They literally FaceTimed me. Cause they were like, this guy won't give us a late checkout. So they FaceTimed me from India. They're like, can you please do this? So I did it over FaceTime and I got him at 4pm at this, like, amazing five star overbooked. The lady was so upset. Incredible. Like, I can't do. I was like, give me your manager. I have to take care of this right now. And they were touring like, I think with the U.S. embassy or something. I was like, I'm with the U.S. government. While speaking with a British accent, which is hilarious. Why does he have a British accent? But it worked.

[B]

But he works for the US Government.

[A]

She was like, okay, okay, sorry.

[B]

So watch this. I'm the front desk Sheraton Charlotte. How can I help you?

[A]

Hello, yes, my flight has been canceled out of Europe. I'm in quite of a situation, unfortunately. Originally my flight was at 2pm which would let me allow me to leave right now. It would be so totally easy to make my flight. But unfortunately they're looking for different aircraft currently, so I need to get a 4pm checkup, please.

[B]

Sir, sir, I'm so sorry. Checkout is. Checkout is at 11am I'm aware of when it.

[A]

When checkout is okay. Unfortunately, no first of all, you should know we've done a lot of business with your hotel. If you look at my history, you will see that we have spent quite a lot of money. Now, if you want us to sustain this beautiful working relationship, then I would suggest you help me out and give me a 4:00pm check. Oh, look, hold on a second. Unfortunately, the flight looks like it's not going to be until 8:00pm so it was 4:00pm Now, I need a 6:00pm checkout. Hello?

[B]

Yeah, I'm sorry, sir. I'm just looking.

[A]

Hello, Yes, I need a 6pm checkout. I'm really sorry, but I have another meeting that I have to jump into. So thank you very much for giving me the 6pm checkout. I appreciate it.

[B]

Okay, sir. Thank you. So, yeah, we can do that.

[A]

Perfect.

[B]

And that's how you do the 6pm checkout.

[A]

That's how you do the 6pm Checkout. Make your daddy glad. You have had such a.

[B]

You basically welcomed me into the game of standup comedy. But one of the things that you put me onto was this thing called the Realness lexicon.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

We talked about this idea of the situation, tell people what the situation is, and basically how you taught me about how to handle a situation.

[A]

It's funny. This all started because Azhar and I, Azhar, we did all of Me funny back in the day. It was like mid-2005, 6, something like that. And we were touring all through Scandinavia and Europe and everything else in South Africa. And I would always be looking around. I'm like, hey, Azhar, we gotta get out here. It's not a good situation. And he was like, you're always saying this, not against you. I was like, I assessed what's happening. I'm telling you, I'm from Houston. I'm Palestinian. I'm a refugee. My hood, Spidey refugee senses are very strong. It's not good.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

We need to get the hell out of here. You know, just certain time human beings turn into zombies, bro, you got to get the hell out of there.

[B]

There we go.

[A]

You don't want to get bitten. You got to get the hell out. So I was always saying this. He's like, what is this? So we created a whole lexcon around, you know, assessing the situation. Not a good situation. Ngs.

[B]

Not a good situation.

[A]

Not a good situation.

[B]

The NGS is a very.

[A]

Not very very. Then there's Infinite Ings, which is Infinite Nagas.

[B]

Infinite Naga situation, which means death.

[A]

Yeah, death.

[B]

Or you're gonna end up in an orange jumpsuit type of situation.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And here's the thing. Him putting me onto this knowledge early on protected me from a lot of situations. So people here at the office think I'm crazy, but I'm like, I'm ready for the situation.

[A]

What is it? Are you about to pull out a shotgun?

[B]

People always make fun of me because I'm ready for the situation. And they're like, what are you talking about? I'm like, just stay ready for a situation.

[A]

Do you have a t?

[B]

A situation is any situation where it's like, hey, we got to go. I'm with Mo. Something happening. All right, man. I got my US Passport. Bam. Obviously, we don't know what Donald Trump's going to do. I got my Indian passport.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Ready to go situation.

[A]

You're so lucky. I mean, you put me on such a prick. Like, hey, you only have one passport. Look here.

[B]

I know, but also, just keep.

[A]

Just. Oh, that's not. Yeah, you know more than that.

[B]

No, no. But this has twenties, hundreds, fives, and.

[A]

Oh, really? Okay. You got to make every denomination situation. Because sometimes somebody. You could tip somebody. Yeah. $10. And they're like, oh, yeah, I'll do it. And sometimes you need a hundo.

[B]

Right. To grease the wheel of the situation. Now we're out of cash.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Keep a watch for.

[A]

Keep a watch. That's a big one, bro.

[B]

Listen, is that a safe house? Everything goes away. Safe house is mom's house. This is mom's crib. Sacramento. Everything goes away. I'm talking about mom's house. We got. I can still get in. I'm in. I can. 12:28am Situation Sacramento. I could still go home. And then, you know me, I got add. Just keep it on the risk.

[A]

So keep it on the wrist situation. Funny.

[B]

Oh, man. He asked me to open for him on the road. I'm ready. Let's get showered.

[A]

Yeah, that's definitely me. That's 100% me.

[B]

You put this on me? Yeah. Everybody in this office thinks I'm crazy.

[A]

Yeah. You saw that hanging in my hotel one time, didn't you? Yes. Yo, I'm sorry I did that to you. I didn't know. I mentally screwed you this way in such a big way. You have your family key and everything. You have an escape route.

[B]

Everything goes up.

[A]

Like, I think about it all the time. Like, my house is all, like, self sustaining. Some goes down. Like. Yeah, I have rainwater tanks.

[B]

Yeah. You have a Scarface situation.

[A]

I got batteries, gas, powered generator. Like, we gotta have it. I have spikes that come up from the ground if you go. Knobs.

[B]

Really, bro, That's a allegory about your life, which is like, anything could go left.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

So just be ready to go.

[A]

That's from my mom.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah. That's 100 from my mom. When that was, like, season one is the first thing I wrote. It was in 2014. I was opening for Chappelle in at the House of Blues in Dallas. He walks off stage and he puts this short film in my ear. I was like, oh, you should do a short film on your special. And da, da, da. I was like, oh, dope. Short film. And when I. When I heard Elvis Presley's track of that's All Right Mama and that song came on. That's all right Mama. That's all right now. Oh, that's all right, Mama. You just. Dude, there's a dude. Oh, that's all right. When I heard that, I just started visualizing my mom grabbing the money we were flinging the Gulf War. How she sewed it, you know, into the purse, how she cut behind each zipper, put equal amounts of money on each side, how she, like, threaded the needle through. And I was looking as a little kid with a Pele jersey on, you know, I just saw the whole thing so clearly. And I was like, dave, I know what the short film is. I know what the short film is. He was like, avoiding me. He was like, what if it sucks? You know what I mean? I grabbed his speaker. He was like, you got to listen to it now. I'm telling you, it's amazing. And I turn it on and I acted it out for him. He had a cigarette in his mouth and he goes, oh, that's all right. He's like, mo is genius. Shouldn't put it in the special. Maybe like a movie or a TV show. I was like, oh, TV show?

[B]

That scene from season one. Oh, it's a Scorsese, man. That scene is like all time.

[A]

Yeah, it's so cool. It's so raw, cuz it's so real. And my mom watched that. She couldn't believe that I recreated it, you know, she was just like, I can't. It's very hard for her to watch. Yeah, that was in Houston. We found a house. Really found an older home. And I just gave them pictures from our actual house in Kuwait and the electronics that my father had and things like that. I would send them pictures.

[B]

What was your. What was your dad's official job? He was a telecommunications officer, right?

[A]

Engineer. Yeah. He's a telecommunications engineer. Yeah, his engineering Degree in London. I think it was Brighton. I think he went to college in Brighton. Yeah.

[B]

But he was actually setting up like telecom phones.

[A]

He was one of the head guys at telecom for the Kuwaiti oil company. That's where he was working. And then he had his own electronic store. He essentially had like a mini Best Buy in Kuwait. Cause he was putting everybody on the game. He had like a cell phone in the 60s with that one that goes over the shoulder, that big old joint. And he was like. He was always the guy with the new tech, you know, now everybody get the new iPhone. He was always already on that. And people would see him like, what is that? You know, like, he really was ahead of it. And he fly to Hong Kong and he would fly China pretty frequently to. To see what the newest tech. He would go to Japan, he would bring.

[B]

He would come back with technology.

[A]

Yeah, he would import. And then he opened up his own life.

[B]

I remember I knew a. I knew a kid growing up and his dad would come back from trips from Japan and he was just like, this is Super Mario Brothers 3. And I remember being like, what?

[A]

Oh, my God. It saved him. It saved my father's life. When the Gulf War happened, he was abducted. My mom didn't know where he was. They were holding him in a facility because they were just like arresting any of everyone. They were just like taking random people. Because we lived in a hot spot of an area in Kuwait where the Iraqi military wanted to take over the Kuwait oil company, of course. So sure enough, they're like compounds, right? So that was like a big hotspot. My dad was kidnapped middle of the night, and we didn't know. My mom didn't know where he was. And I was already gone. She already got me out of the war at that point. And my mom went back. She's such a gangster. Like, she went to go finish up all the rest of the paperwork and to get everything out. And they took my dad in the middle of the night, didn't know where he was. And then they were having issues with what communications, where he was being held. And they were like. He heard somebody, like, whining about telephones. These damn phones and not working this and that. And my dad was like, basically a prisoner. Was like, hey, I can fix it. So while he was fixing their phones, he calls my mom. Low key. While he's fixing the phone. Yeah. Crazy. And I don't know why it's making me emotional, but he's an amazing man. He called her up. He's like, you need to find a prime minister of Kuwait. Literally, like, whoever the prime minister was, I might be misspeaking. Who is like, the. The guy? Yeah, he knows me. He's my guy. He knows that I shouldn't be here. You got to find him. And she's like, where is he? Where I find him? He's like, I don't know. My mom was telling him, like, oh, we need to get the money out, too. From the. They owe you money, right? He was like, forget the money. You can't get the money. And my mom goes, I'm gonna get your money, and I'm gonna get you out. She hangs up the phone. So she goes on this, like, three week journey of trying to find this guy. Anyway, by some miracle, she find. My mom finds him. Yeah. Buildings in shambles. And she sees, like, this narrow hallway with, like, flickering fluorescent lights. My mom is very specific when she's describing the stories. She's like, natural storyteller. And she walks in and it's. The office is pristine. The building is messed up, but his office is, like, pristine. She looks around and she sees all the electronics. She recognizes all of them. She goes, these are my husband. My husband must have, like, installed this. And she looks over, and the guy looks at her. He's like, who are you? And he tells her, oh, my husband. Most of it's like, your husband must know. Where is he? She goes, he's being held. This and that. He goes, no way. Your husband's one of my favorite human beings I've ever met. Signs a couple of documents for her. And she meets my dad at the airport. Like, they bring him handcuffed to the airport to release him. Like pasari. Yeah. You know, after, like, a month being held captive, like, for no reason.

[B]

How dumb do you feel when, like, your router goes down and you can't fix it?

[A]

It's so stupid.

[B]

Your dad straight up pulled off a MacGyver. It.

[A]

Yeah, he pulled him. A guy situation.

[B]

And your mom's a gangster, too, where she was. She negotiated the sign and trade.

[A]

Crazy. She gets his money and she gets him out, and she packs all the house.

[B]

You're in Houston, right?

[A]

I'm in Houston complaining because my sister's making the same meal for the last week. She doesn't know how to cook. She's 18 years old. She's making jada, which is like, rice with black lentil. And I'm eating it. I'm like, why is it. Meanwhile, my mom is driving through burnt oil fields. Essentially, all the oil fields were on Fire. At that point, noon is like midnight and I'm sitting like, oh, idiot. You know? Yeah, it was nine. I didn't know.

[B]

Right.

[A]

But when I think back on it, I'm like, shut your mouth. Shut your mouth and enjoy this rice. You welcome.

[B]

That's hilarious.

[A]

Yeah, bro. It's crazy. And that's like a quarter of the stories. Like, I, you know, they held a lot from me, you know, And I finally, I found out the stories, like, much later in my life.

[B]

Hey, is that story in season one with your dad getting tortured, Is that true?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

They tortured your dad in prison.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. I found out exactly the way it was in season one in the way I had it in season one at the office, in my lawyer's office. After I became a citizen and stuff. He gave me a folder. He was like, congratulations, you don't need this anymore. Here you go. It was like a thick ass folder like this. I just started looking through it. I found a picture. I was like, what's this? Yeah.

[B]

It was a crazy situation.

[A]

Crazy. Can I get a tissue or something? Yeah, man. I didn't expect it to go this way, bro. We're supposed to be having fun. Yeah, bro.

[B]

Literally.

[A]

But it's real. People need to know.

[B]

No, this is life. Yo, how did you make sense of like Saddam Hussein and all that stuff? Like, how do you make sense of it? Which is like, all this chaos was part of this thing. They're all like, to me, video game characters from the news.

[A]

Yeah, they are video game kids.

[B]

No, for real. Because all those dudes are kind of dressed up like M. Bison.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

K O U N. They're all just on some M. Bison military fatigue shit.

[A]

Yeah. Initially as a nine year old kid. Yeah. You're obviously just pissed off at him and you're mad at everything, but then you grow up and realize very quickly that there's major global politics at play here. Yeah. You know, he was at a war with Iran for eight years and then he just went into Kuwait. Like, it's just such an odd. Yeah. Like immediately you want to fight Kuwait? Why? What's Kuwait doing? You know, like, it just felt very rash and it felt like somebody maybe gave him that information. Like, I don't know anything. I'm just guessing at this point, but, you know, when you start looking at it like, who put him into power and all this stuff, it's like, oh, this is just America working its magic. Right? Right in the Middle East. Yeah, yeah. That's all it is.

[B]

Geppetto just pulling this.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. It's just that so many people that come up to me after my shows, like, exact same story. We're in Kuwait. And this. You know, even when I was writing season one and putting it together, I was, like, encouraged. Ah, just don't put the Kuwait part. Just you. You just left Palestine. You went straight to, you know, Texas. I'm like, no, you don't understand. Like, you clearly don't understand the story. There's generational displacement here. There's more. There's, like, layered trauma. There's, like. There's more complexity to the situation. There's way more people dealing with that. This layered, multi generational displacement and trauma that is going on to omit that part is a massive critical detail. Absolutely. A massive.

[B]

Is actually. It actually matters because it's like, it's important for your character, like, even though it is mo to be like, you don't understand. His home was taken away twice.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And his family was displaced from their home.

[A]

Yes, twice. Yeah. And you can go back. You can go back. This is an important detail I think people miss as well, is like, we can go back. We can go to the West Bank. We can live in that life. But then you're under occupation all the time. You're not. You don't get the same freedoms. You have a future. There's not. It's very hard to get a job, much less work. So. So it's. It's that, like, you can go back there if you want to live under that kind of situation where you're locked in your house basically most of the time, and it's dangerous to leave. But my father wanted us to have a future. My mother wants to have future and a different life. So that's why we came to the States.

[B]

I was thinking about this before you came, dude, you're a human chameleon. Palestinian, American, Houston. A leaf comic. You know what's crazy also with your accent, game is you do multiple different, like, cowboys or people from the South.

[A]

Yeah, like. You mean like the Cajun? Yeah, you do.

[B]

You do Cajun.

[A]

Yeah, boy. Come on here. Like, you do a little something, baby. Like, come on out hungry. We have a good old time.

[B]

Yeah, but you also do, like. Like, hey, boy. Like, you do the.

[A]

Hey, come on now. We all just having a good time here in Houston. Yeah, we just hanging out.

[B]

And then you have the dude now in your act where you whistle with the what? Like with.

[A]

Hold on a second. Hold on a second now. Hold on a second. Hold on a second now. Here we go. Hold on now. Relax. That guy. Yeah, that guy's a fun guy.

[B]

Could you always. Could you always do impression?

[A]

Yeah, always. Always. Since I was a kid. I learned this because I. When we were in Kuwait, I have a cousin of mine that would do, like, all his beatbox and all kinds of stuff on the phone and just, like, just play around, you know? And then I saw my brother do all these different accents, but usually around, like, Gulf Arabs or sometimes he would do a British one and things like that. But. But that's. He would do. My brother would do prank calls all the time. He would just prank call people that we knew. Yeah, yeah. He would just. And I learned it from him, Omar, who passed away, unfortunately two years ago. But he's the one who, like, he.

[B]

Pushed you on the game. Yeah, basically.

[A]

I just saw him doing it. I was like, oh, that's funny. He's really good at the, like, Arab, Khaleesi accents. Exceptional. Exceptional. But he's so funny. Super underrated. So funny. I think he was, like, partly jealous that I did stand up.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah, partly. Probably because he knew that he could do it too.

[B]

Like, he was naturally also funny.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. But also he was, like, a very successful pilot and super brilliant mind and multiple degrees and God knows what. He's just so smart.

[B]

Yo, speaking of crazy story, your Eric Trump story is nuts.

[A]

Yeah. Crazy. Yeah. This. After his dad was elected the first time, it was, like, November, like, early. Early December, actually, of 2016. But I was so exhausted. I just finished touring in Australia. Yeah. And I was coming straight from Australia to go to England. So you. That's a long. Yeah.

[B]

You're also in transit mode.

[A]

And I'm in transit mode. I'm on Diet Coke, hoping. I'm, like, praying for the upgrade. You know what I mean? Like, please let this one K come through. Please, you know, like, please.

[B]

Oh, it was a United flight.

[A]

It was a United flight from. From Newark to Glasgow. So I was like, please. That's all I really cared about. Sure. Yeah, yeah. Economy lady.

[B]

Flat back.

[A]

Yeah, it's a flat, bro. You got to lay flat for sure. And then she gave me the upgrade. She laughed. She, like, smiled at me. I was like, why is she smiling? Like, all right. She's happy for me, maybe. Then I just walk in and I see him looking around like this. I literally looked around. I was like this.

[B]

You're like, there's no way.

[A]

I'm too suspicious of a person. Like, I'm always like, conspiracy. Like, hey, what's going on? You know, something's off.

[B]

Situation.

[A]

Why am I sitting next to him like this? Where's Secret Service? You know, true. I was like, where's these stories? Like, they're an economy.

[B]

That's so funny.

[A]

Yeah, it was great. So I took a picture with him just as a joke, and I posted online and I put the caption, hey, guys, good news. I worked it out. Like, just doing some comedy stuff, like, hey, hey, no more Muslim band. You know, this and that. But I genuinely brought it up to him. I didn't, like, I didn't just like, say it.

[B]

You for real? We're like, hey, my name's Muhammad and.

[A]

We'Re not doing that shit. Yeah. I said salaam alaikum to him. And he was like, what? He was like, I was just messing with him. And I was like, yeah, we're not doing this Muslim band shit. Like, I don't know what y' all crazy ID cards. Like, I'm just letting you know it's wild. And that's not happening. He's like, this is not happening. We do a lot of business in the Middle East. Come on, bro. We were like. I was like, oh, okay, so it's all a game. He was like, yeah. I was like, cool. So I was like, can you take a picture real quick? And I didn't really think anything of it. And then I would like wake up and see people staring at us. Sleep. I'm like, oh, we were like, sleeping. It was weird. It was very weird. But also when I posted, I didn't realize repercussions of that. Like, I really genuinely thought it was just gonna be like, my fans would be like, ha ha, this is silly.

[B]

Yeah, totally.

[A]

Whatever. And people were really angry, obviously at that time. And then I woke up and we both looked at each other like a bad one night stand. Like, maybe we shouldn't have done this. You know what I mean? Like, maybe we shouldn't have taken that picture and posted it. Like, he was on cover of every single digital newspaper. I got a text message email from every single publication or friend that I've ever made in my life.

[B]

Dude. I remember seeing it and like, laughing. I was like, this is a crazy situation.

[A]

I was paranoid. I've never been like this. I've never been in a situation like that at all. Like, that's crazy. Like, to go like ultra viral like that. I don't even know if it's super viral. You're on the COVID of newspaper. People are writing stuff that, like, I said it. Yeah. I even talked to these people. And then I called Dave. I called Dave. I was like, dave, I don't know what to do about this. He goes, well, you got to do a couple interviews to try to control the narrative. Then he goes, man, it's crazy. It sounds like, you know, seems like fame is chasing you. I was like, that's scary. I don't know what that means, but yuck. I was like, chasing me. Yeah. I was like, I gotta make this funny. Cause I don't wanna be a gimmick, right. I'm a real stand up. It's not. I don't wanna be like, oh, this is the guy that sat next to Eric Trump. I'm like, Bart Simpson. Say it again. You know that episode? Yeah, I didn't do it. Yeah, right. I didn't wanna do that. I was like, oh, no. So I just gotta make this hilarious. I would do the shows, like the book shows and the theaters and whatever, and I would run to every like, pub open mic that was happening all throughout England and Scotland. And I. Nobody really knew me then at all, Right. And so I would just be on the side and about to go on and I'd see people looking at me go, that's the guy that sat next to Eric. I don't want to be the guy that sat next to Eric.

[B]

Gotcha.

[A]

I want to be. Oh, that's Mohammer. Crazy what happened to him. He sat next to Eric. You know, you got to be like, oh, I'm.

[B]

That's the comedian.

[A]

The comedian. You got to make it hilarious now. Right? You got to show that you're a real comedian. Yeah. And you got to make it funny. And that's what I did. And it crushed. And that's how I ended up on Colbert, actually.

[B]

How many military bases have you performed at?

[A]

Over 100. I'm not sure how many exactly. Over 100. Like 100, 700. I don't know, a lot.

[B]

Is that how you paid the bills.

[A]

Early on in my, like, early 2000s? Yeah, I did them.

[B]

I never talked to you about this. Why did you. Why did you perform so much at like, what was it about the military based gig that made you go?

[A]

Well, first of all. First of all, the first time I ever did them was April of 2001. Yeah. So that was five months before 9 11. And it was Italy, Germany and Sicily.

[B]

Performing for the US troops.

[A]

Yeah, they're all like MWR shows. I think they're called Mental Welfare and Recreation. Like us. So there's USO and there's mwr. So I was just offered a gig that's really what I was thinking about. Like, oh, snap. I can go overseas and do a tour already. That's interesting. Yeah, they're all Americans in the end. Like, let me see what's up, you know? So I did those shows, and it was amazing. I had a wonderful experience. I got to see. I was 19 years old. I mean, yeah, you're a kid doing shows. Like, I didn't know anything. I was in Sicily. I got yelled at by Sicilian grandma because I asked for, like, spaghetti and meatballs. She was like, spaghetti, meatballs? It's American dish. I was in this little hole in the wall. I saw this old auntie, like, mixing up the gravy, you know, the sauce. Like, literally two hands, like, giant pot of sauce. I'm like, I'm eating here. And I asked. She's gonna be about. She yelled at me, going crazy. I'm like, oh, my God. She goes, I feed you like this. And she fed me. I'm pretty sure I ate pork. I was so terrified to say no. Brought all this food, didn't charge me a penny. She, like, gave me a kiss on the cheek, like, I have a great day. It was that first. It was like gigs. But it quickly became more than that. After 9 11, it was very different. It was like a journey of understanding what happened to me, myself, as someone who fled war, a product of war, statelessness, or whatnot. So I was just like, yeah, I want to understand it more. And it became like it was those. It was such tension post 911 that I was worried to be myself. It was scary to be yourself. Imagine. Yeah. Yeah. It was hard to be you. And I was like, fuck that. I want to be myself everywhere. So then they asked me to go. I get a call to go to Japan, Korea, and Guam to do shows there. I said, hell, yeah, I'm gonna go. I was scared out of my mind, to be honest with you, because the tensions and anger was so high. They canceled me. And they said, no, we can't go. They said, for your protection. I said, for my protection? What do you mean? He goes, I don't know. The soldiers and this and that. I said, I don't give a shit. I want to go. I want to go. And if I could be myself in front of them, I could be myself in front of anybody. That was my mindset. I was out of my mind, probably, but I wanted to do it. Yeah. And sure enough, it was that. It was like I was never felt so free before that I can talk mad shit. I can literally say Whatever's on my mind was 100% me transparent where I come from. The fact that I wasn't even a citizen yet had a refugee travel document at the time. And then I realized very quickly, like, these soldiers are more culturally informed than most people in America because they've traveled abroad. Right. They've been to all these places. And I had so many situations where soldiers were torn apart inside, emotionally, that I felt they were, like, oversharing with me. Definitely some to tears, you know, quietly, like, behind backstage or seeing me walk around the base. They would have really wonderful conversations with me. And I realized, like, oh, man, this is much more than just for me. This is like an important, like, mission almost, you know, to. For people to see me and for me to see them and to, like, if I can give them and reshape their perspective of what an Arab person is or what a Muslim person is, they might think twice if they have their finger on the trigger. You know, that's what I think about genuinely. And maybe, like, it was really that. And then also, I got to perform. I got to do, like, what I love, and I got to see the world while I'm doing it. It was really, like, kind of an insane situation to be in. But I went back, like, three times. Wow.

[B]

What percentage of, like, soldiers you felt like were down for war and were just. Or were like, hey, I'm just in a situation where this was the best option for me in life.

[A]

I would say most of them are in that letter where it's like, hey, I have to. I got to do what I got to do. Like, I'm already signed on. Like, I can't go awol. Like, there's nobody, you know. Yeah, they can't. They're just doing. They're just taking orders for the most part. The really craziest trip I took with the last one I did was in 2006 when I. No, 2009. Sorry, six or nine. I can't remember. I think I was.

[B]

Did you go to Iraq?

[A]

I was nine. No, I went to Kuwait in Iraq. I didn't go to Afghanistan. They asked me to go to Kuwait in Iraq. Now, I still wasn't a citizen yet, but they asked me to go do that. And I was like, oh, man, that's like a true full circle moment where I can truly, finally put to bed everything that I have in my heart about, like, Kuwait and Iraq. So I went. I said, yes. I had a hard time even entering Kuwait, but I got in. And then.

[B]

Why would they deny your entry?

[A]

Because I had a refugee travel document. And they don't really accept that and all that. And I had to, like, speak ultra American. Well, you know, I'm here with the US Room. I'm doing, you know. And then that was my six. It's very important. I hope it's set exactly at 7:45pm yeah, exactly. They were very nice. They, Kuwaitis are so sweet, dude. They're very nice people. It was the first time re entering Kuwait after we fled there almost 20 years ago. It was extremely difficult to go there. My aunt was there, my cousin was there. I couldn't see them yet. I had to fulfill the tour. So I go. We go to Baghdad anyway. We land there. We go to the JVP hotel, which was Saddam Hussein's palace converted into a hotel. Now I'm staying in Saddam's house, essentially the very reason why we left Kuwait to begin with. And I'm sitting in this chair, and this guy, a soldier walks by. He's like, hey, that's where Saddam had his last interview. I was like, what? Started freaking out. Like, gross. I was just grossed out by the whole experience, to be honest.

[B]

How do I sleep here? Like, was it.

[A]

Yeah, it was very weird. It was very weird. But I got up over that at a chair and I looked down and looked at it, looked around and I looked up the interview, and I was like, sure enough, that's the damn chair. He wasn't bullshitting. It was just. It was.

[B]

Did you feel like you're like, I have to do this. I have to put.

[A]

I did. I. I. No, no, no, I did. I felt like I had to put it to bed. And I was also curious. I wanted to meet the. I wanted to see the soldiers. I wanted to look them in their eyes, and I want to see it for myself. And I'll tell you what it is for real. Like, you hear all these, you know, so much stuff on television and news, and they don't really get into it. They don't get into the soul and heart of the thing. So I went. I went, did all those shows, was on. Was on those choppers, like, and flying us to the gigs in the middle of nowhere and doing shows and flipping in the middle of my set, speaking Arabic because I see Iraqi soldiers letting them know, like, yo, what's up, man? How you doing, D? Oh, wait.

[B]

There were Iraqi soldiers on the base?

[A]

There were some around, yeah. They were like, there's the base. Some of the shows were like, the base is here. So we're inside and we're all around this wall, like inside the base. Yeah. And they're all like pop up bases. There weren't like, none of them were really permanent, to be honest. And then you look up and there's like Iraqi soldiers watching the show. So I would, I would switch to Arabic. And then the soldiers like, yo, what the fuck's happening? And then I would switch back to English and they start laughing. They start laughing. I was doing stuff that nobody's done before. Yeah. Still to this day. Nobody's done it. Nobody's done it. So I was doing these shows and yes, there were some, like, blatant. I could see the soldiers like, hated me. Some of them. Few. I'm talking about like 1% genuinely. But. But that 1% will make you uncomfortable on Stay, like, ah, right. You know, and I would try to break them. I keep looking at them. I keep looking at them, looking at them and doing. And I would focus on them. When I'm doing my stand up while everybody's laughing, I would make sure like.

[B]

Hey, there's a pocket right here.

[A]

I see you. Yeah, I see you. Don't be like that. It's okay.

[B]

You had to break that.

[A]

It's okay. As my way of, like, it's okay. Everything's gonna be fine. You know, And I think it was for them too. They had that mindset. And I would. So many soldiers would come up to me afterwards. I'm like, man, they lied to us. They told us, you know, what we're doing, that they would amp us up before there they were like, they hate Jesus. They were doing this. Yeah. I was like, you know, that's like the furthest from the truth. Like, beloved Jesus, we love, of course, we love him so much. You kidding me? He's like the most mentioned prophet in our book. Like in the Quran. Like, what are you talking about? Yeah. He was like, I know now. I didn't know then, but they wanted us to hate you. They wanted us to hate everybody. He's like, how can you go out and like, I guess go to war and, you know, pull the trigger if, you know, those people believe basically the same thing you believe. Can't do that.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So they would amp them up in that way. I was like, damn. I was like, that's, that's, that's cold. That's real cold.

[B]

The closest for me, man. You know, my mom works at the va. Yeah. So I've seen the, the end of that cycle. Yeah, man, it's depressing. It's sad.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, I'm like, oh, this is a whole group in general, multiple generations of people that are kind of forgotten by society.

[A]

They're completely forgotten. And that's why it's just like.

[B]

Yeah, it really puts a perspective.

[A]

Or for me, it's horrible. Yeah, it's horrible. So to experience that firsthand was the thing that I needed to, like, close the loop, you know, just to see it for myself, to be there to talk to these guys, to see how much they loved me. Like, after I finished my set, they're like, oh, my God, that's hilarious. You know, they were just, like, so in love with it, right? And they were just like. They were just so excited and they were thankful, like, thank you basically, for not judging us either. And, like, coming here. Like, I wasn't. I don't condone war. I'm not, obviously. Clearly. I hate anything with a gun. I really don't like guns at all in general. But, you know, the experience of going there and knowing that, oh, everything I learned was a lie, really. It was just rich people fighting over money. And these are. Everyone that's stuck in the middle is us. We're just people, no matter where you come from. And most of those soldiers, I would say high, like, 99% of them were really remorseful, didn't know what to do with their energy, were super grateful that I was. That would come out. Even though I. From my background, they were like, wow, that's really crazy. You did that. Like, I was crazy, because some of these guys are crazy. Would tell me, like, some of these guys are fucking crazy. You need to be careful. You should be careful. I was like, I'm cool. I'm good. Right? I really, like, believe that because just how I was raised and just being from Texas, I just felt like I had this edge that most guys don't have from my background. So I could walk in there and I felt okay, because once they talk to me, they'll feel like, oh, it's something familiar, right? You know, and it was nuts. It was just. It was a. It was really yucky, but really transformative experience for me.

[B]

We do these interviews all the time, and, you know, when they're like, does comedy change people's minds? Can you change the world through comedy? Like, for me, the way I answer it is like, comedy is the way I express. It's. It's for me, too. I gotta express myself. And I gotta say, do you think it can change someone's mind? I think in that moment they can see, like, yeah, our humanity on some.

[A]

I don't really like the shift, the change thing. The change word is like, where I get allergic. I like the shift. It causes a shift. Surely there's some kind of shift in thought. I don't know about change. Change is really harsh. Like, change who you are, change this, change that. Like, this thing gets used. This word gets used too often.

[B]

Totally.

[A]

You know, I think. I think it's a shift. I feel like that's more realistic. Number one. It's like it creates this new shift in a direction of thought process that you didn't have before.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

There's an experience. Will it over time make the impact? Yeah, but you need to pile it on. You can't just have one experience and be like, I'm a different person now. No, no, you need work.

[B]

It's the 10 o' clock show at the San Jose Improv. I'm a different person.

[A]

I'm a different person. It's not how it works. You need to have more experience with that. Like, it definitely shifts people's mindset and definitely jars their perception of what they've learned before, what they know about us before. Like, that's. That's significant and I've seen it. And maybe it does eventually create that change.

[B]

But no, I like that. I like that framing the shift.

[A]

And it creates an opportunity to make a real difference in the communities by having those experiences. Right. Like, I lived in a really countryside of Houston, like, for a minute. Yeah. And you know, I was the only guy in the neighborhood. Yeah. So they love me. I love it back. You know, like, we're all there for each other. Right. Still friends, still text each other. How you doing? Is it going? You know, move that neighborhood, but you know what I mean? Yeah. Like, you know, he still has a God. How you doing? See their posts and, like, their kids are graduating. Ah, man. So could. They're all grown up. It's wild. I think the more you're. You're you, you don't also seclude yourself because we do this too, in our community. Like, you see that. Oh, it's us, it's them. They're scared. It's fear. It's all this. There's all these projections that happen, but the more you, like, walk in and be like, what's going on, y'? All. Yeah. Like what? Yeah. You know what I mean?

[B]

But you've always been that guy. Like.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's almost like if the world was high school, you've been the dude who's been able to kick it with whatever.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. For sure.

[B]

You speak Spanish all The time you speak Arabic, English, Texas.

[A]

Yeah, it was always like that.

[B]

You go everywhere.

[A]

I do, Yeah. I do, 100%. I feel comfortable in all those areas too. I feel very comfortable with, like, a bunch of southern guys in camouflage chilling outside. You know, they're all cracking beers. I'm not a beer guy. He's like, all drinking beers and stuff. They're all going at it. But something about that, like, feels like home. I don't know. They all believe in God. They're very country. We love our country too. Like, it's just like this. You look at it and be like, oh, okay. There's something very familiar here. Totally. Yeah. I could totally hang out until like 7pm before y' all really shit face and somebody pulls out a shotgun. But you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. You slept with my sister. You know what I mean? Something happens, then leave before that happens. But yeah, something feels good about that environment too, to me. Something familiar about that as well. They're sweet people. They're kind people. They born a barbecue. They want to overfeed everybody. They want to be hospitable. There's all qualities that we have. I love that Latinos are the same way. I hear the music happening on the street. Like, I get jealous. I'm like, oh, they're having a good time out there. Everybody's like, turn off that Tejano music. I was like, turn it off or join it. Join it might be cool. You know, aunties are cooking in there right now. You need to get them fajitas while you can. Yeah.

[B]

Listen, man, I told you this. I opened for you the other night. I said it on stage before I got off. Episode 208 is an all time classic. It's an ode to your father. It makes me think about my dad. Why don't you tell people what went into that episode and why it was so important. You had it in your mind. Take people through every, like, your process and why it had to build to that moment where you're in the mosque. Why don't you paint that picture?

[A]

Well, there was a couple of how I ended up with 208finale, but. All right, so number one is you gotta start with the subject matter. The fact that it's a Palestinian. I want a Palestinian family to go home. Right. Living in a post October 7th world. We were like, hey, do you talk about October 7th? I was like, well, if I do that, first of all, we're a comedy show. Second of all, like, every time I started to attempt to write about that World. It became a very dramatic show and it became very didactic, and it really lost track of everything. Also, the most significant detail as well is that the family doesn't get to go back. Like, if that's the world we're living in, we don't get to go back. There's a very important story that needs to be told which is based off of my own experience taking my mom and my brother back to Burin and the village we're from. So the first time I went back, I went and caught myself in a situation where I was had to do the call to prayer at the masjid. Yeah, I didn't have to do it, but they were like, really forcing me to do it. And in that moment after I did, I felt all.

[B]

By the way, man, this is like low key. A selfish move, by the way. It's like, it's not cool. Yeah, Put you in the spot.

[A]

They did put me in a spot. Yeah.

[B]

You're like, you don't know. How do you know if I'm even good at it?

[A]

Yeah. No, no, they don't.

[B]

Me?

[A]

No. My cousin.

[B]

But they'll put you up at the free throw line.

[A]

Yeah, they did. They did. And you're like, three point. It was like, shoot this half. I felt like a half court shot.

[B]

Who's the call to prayer?

[A]

So every call to pray, the entire.

[B]

Village, it's the equivalent of being like, yo, sing right now.

[A]

Sing right now. Yes, I can do it, but I.

[B]

Can sing in my heart.

[A]

It was. It was so scary. J. When I did it, it was really scary. I had my cousin next to me. I was like, I want to mess up. I haven't done enough like this. But when I did it, I felt so much calm, and I couldn't believe that just happened. My first time coming back to Bourin, and all of a sudden I'm doing a call prayer to the village. This is like, what a moment. Like, the divine write such incredible thing. And then this guy storms in. He's like, what are you doing? Who did the call to prayer?

[B]

Oh, no.

[A]

And they all sold me out. It was like him. I was like, you guys told me it was the whole thing. And then the clock was 10 minutes ahead, so I messed up everything. And then he figured out who I was, and he figured out who my father was. And he was like, oh, my God. That of a. Hello. Your dad's the one who installed the microphone equipment and the speaker system here in the mosque. And I lost it. I just completely. I didn't lose it that moment, I was, like, contained. And then I left. I just, like, just out of control, like, weeping. I was happy, but also, like, who could have written anything, you know? You know what? You would have seen this.

[B]

Yeah. Cosmic destiny.

[A]

Cosmic destiny, 100%. And then I had a similar situation where I was, you know, on tour in Kuwait, and I looked at my manageable staff. I was like, bro, you see this picture? This picture here? Like, I wonder what happened to this camcorder I'm holding. And two days later, I'm with my aunt in Jordan. She says, I have this camcorder for you. Thirty years later, this camcorder appears. Mama. That's the picture I was showing Mama on the plane. It's the same camcorder. And my cousin comes in with plastic bags full of VHS tapes that are just filled with home videos. I didn't have any video footage of my father. I uncovered it all that they didn't even know I was on there. So that night, I'm at the hotel, I look at Adi Khalifa, who's my opening act in Jordan, who ended up playing my cousin in 208. And he was filming me looking through the viewfinder. And this camcorder. Yeah. And it was like, the first one was like a Michael Jackson concert. I was like, wait, hold on. Second one was another Michael Jackson concert. I was like, oh, my God, Michael Jackson.

[B]

But by the way, those are some bangers.

[A]

Bangers.

[B]

Oh, yeah, Michael Jackson. 93. Super Bowl.

[A]

Come on. Crazy.

[B]

He had a Saddam like suit too, by the way.

[A]

Yeah, he did. 100%. Yeah, he did. He had the general suit.

[B]

Yeah, he was on fire. He was in his M Bison bag.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. So that experience, those, like, piling on and how raw that is. And I remember Adi, like, filming me. I was like, having this out of body experience where I was laughing and crying, like discovering this footage. Like, wow, this is unbelievable. Like, how does this happen again? Experiencing all that, having my mom there, seeing her see everything for the first time in 37 years, walk around where she was born and seeing how emotional she was. And she was just like weeping alone, just sitting on the furniture that's still there, like when she was born, you know, like 40 50s furniture still in the house. My uncle preserved everything, you know, so just like, just piling it all together to make the most amazing, incredible, most grounded emotionally, just significant episode that I could make. And that's what I did. I mean, initially the episode was like 62 minutes. I was like, oh, my God, we filmed a movie in 10 days. That's crazy. A layered episode where a Palestinian family gets to go home to their village to see what day to day is like. It was divine writing. You just like. You know, I said this before, like, the divine gives you something, and don't mess with it. Just keep it, preserve it, and then build around it.

[B]

The fact that you were able to make it. Bro, this is a spiritual Spider man multiverse moment.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, in all the multiverses, the fact that it lined up in this way and you were able to do that and combine the archival footage is incredible.

[A]

You know, I wanted people to know, like, this is real. You know, this is not just, like some fictionalized thing. And I remember my mom getting all these calls after the show dropped. She was like, I thought you made a comedy. She goes, everybody's calling me crying.

[B]

Yeah, it's a documentary.

[A]

Everybody's calling me crying. I was like, no, it's funny. It's very funny. But, you know, episode eight is really hard. Right? But it has to be. That's what it is. You know, it's just. You can't control it. There's a lot of heart behind it. She watched the final episode with me. I had to watch it with her. It took her a while to work up the courage to see it because it was really hard to see, because she watched it, she was crying the whole time. She couldn't believe it. Like, the village where she's from is on the biggest platform in the world. That was, like, a really powerful moment.

[B]

You guys shot that in Malta, right?

[A]

Parts of it in Malta. And then the other. All the cutaways are my actual village. Everything is. I sent a splinter unit to go out there to get all the shots. Some of it where I had it archived from 22 from when we did season one. I was very deliberate about. I want to use our actual village. I don't want to just license some random footage. This is, to me, like, very, very important to preserve it. And to be accurate, I don't want my family to watch it. Like, what the hell is that?

[B]

You know, Listen, man, one of the things that I owe you a thank you for is your life story, specifically with your pops. The appreciation you have for your pops. You've helped me reconcile a lot of situations that I've been in with my dad and just put past misunderstandings behind us and my whole journey in comedy. You co signed it, you know, so important. Twenty years ago, my dad took me to go see him. He was performing at all. I made me funny in Sacramento, brought Me to your hotel room. And he basically thought you were gonna do a Scared Straight.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Back.

[A]

It was such, like, the backhanded thing. It was like, basically, here's my son. Talk him out of comedy. I'm like, what? This is what I do.

[B]

And you also know how humiliating that is, bro, to make yourself.

[A]

Oh, it was horrible. And I was like, who's this guy bringing this guy? I didn't know what was happening. Cause I was the first one who told me about it. I was like, yeah, of course. Like, let's do it. But I was like, I don't know what's going on. Like, this is kind of odd.

[B]

So basically, he was performing in Sacramento, which is the town, like, the city that I grew up in.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

After the show, I was doing a show at the Punchline, and my dad was like, look, stop with this nonsense. You're gonna go meet with these guys. They'll tell you about how awful the industry is. But, man, you were super warm. I was a very young, naive. I was also defensive, too.

[A]

Yeah, very defensive.

[B]

Very defensive. Very defensive energy.

[A]

But you were dope, though. We knew we were dope. Like, I was. When I was sitting, I was like, this guy's dope. Like, he really knows. He really loves the craft. Like, my whole thing is that, are you a real comedian? Are you really care about this? Cause now you even see comics doing specials. They don't even tour. It's crazy to me. You have to get better at your craft. The only way to do it is to do standup. There's no shortcut. But you were always so dope. I was like, oh, man. I was like, yo, you gotta. And then I knew you knew some people in Houston. I was like, oh, this kid, like, really. He's really doing stand up. I was like, oh, this is great.

[B]

So there were these things where I was like, no, this is the thing I'm pursuing. And you basically were like, look, man, if you're gonna do it, you're gonna do it. It's kind of like you're in the Mafia. It's like, you're gonna keep doing this or you're gonna die, essentially.

[A]

No, it's important. You gotta go all in. You gotta be broke. You can't have a side job. You can't be like, I like to. I'm working daytime here, and I'm. No, no, no. You gotta quit everything. You have to be broke. You have to feel what it's like to be broke. And you gotta continue to taste that, to like, I don't ever wanna be broke again, that you have to do that. And as far as, like, your dad's relationship, you know, my dad, when he passed away, I didn't have a great relationship with him when he passed away. It was devastating. Like, he didn't. I know that if my dad genuinely thought he was going to pass, he would just. He would have had a combo with me and we would have squashed this teenage bullshit that was going on, you know, but that didn't happen. And my whole life goal, for the rest of my life, anyone I meet, not just anybody I care about, I could be. I could not give a shit about you, baby. But if I see you with your parents, any kind of beef, you gotta get rid of it. Cause I know how incredibly painful it is to live for something for the rest of your life. It's horrible. And thankfully, I've had, like, amazing dreams of my father. I fulfilled, like a big life purpose of mine. I have a son. Like, this is. This is more than anything, more than money, fame. If you're living with something that's just so deeply painful and you're carrying around, I'm like, yo, whoever I meet.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

That I see is having any kind of issues, yeah, you better get your shit together. Go fix it.

[B]

And in your early 20s, there's just.

[A]

A lot of energy.

[B]

There's a lot of, like, I need a mea culpa. I need a explanation.

[A]

I hate that I'm so emotional right now. What's going on?

[B]

All right, listen.

[A]

I don't know. It's fine.

[B]

I don't know how to say thank you. Like, how do I say thank you, bro? You're my brother and I love you so much. So I got two gifts for you, cuz. I was like, how do I give a man who's been in every situation a gift? I have a gift from Texas.

[A]

Oh, Austin.

[B]

Bring in the gift from Texas. And then I just got another situation. Because we're always in situations.

[A]

Yeah, what is it?

[B]

The first gift is a Texas gift.

[A]

All right. What's the Texas gift?

[B]

You're a Texas gift.

[A]

Oh, that's fire.

[B]

Do you know what this is?

[A]

Hold on, hold on. It's a what? Oh, the boot cake. This is sick. I love this.

[B]

It's a very Texas.

[A]

It's cast iron, bro. This is fire. Yeah.

[B]

When I stayed with you in Houston, I was like, oh, he's really Texas.

[A]

Oh, yeah. And. Oh, we don't mess around. Yeah. This is amazing.

[B]

And it's the next one. I wasn't I wasn't playing with you the other night where I was like, I need to give you the lawnmower for.

[A]

What is it? This is for every situation, bro. I'm very happy that I got this. You don't understand. I'm not a super hairy guy.

[B]

But this is not a product placement. This is a joke.

[A]

This is.

[B]

I'm joking, not joking here.

[A]

No. I really asked for it, though. When you said, yeah, I do mascot, I was like, yo, is that true that that doesn't cut you and stuff, bro?

[B]

I was like, it's incredible.

[A]

Lawnmower four point, by the way.

[B]

And by the way, look at the logo. Like, that's a lot to stand on, a thing of.

[A]

Where's the scrotum? Oh, is that what that is? Oh, wow.

[B]

To just be like, we're going to put all the chips in this.

[A]

Well, it has, like, angel wings, the scrotum. That's nice.

[B]

You got to protect what's most important.

[A]

Yeah, it's important. I mean, I look at my son all the time. I can't believe he came from my balls. It's crazy. This is so cool. Oh, this could go at the barbershop.

[B]

Too, of course, but you're on. You got the cowboy hat in the joint, bro.

[A]

This is perfect. This is incredible. I love it.

[B]

All right. Love you, bro.

[A]

Love you, too, bro. Thank you so much. I got you a gift, too. What do they got over there?

[B]

Some Sacramento. Yeah, I got you from this from the Sacramento Ross Dress for Less. If you haven't subscribed to Lemonada Premium yet, now's the perfect time, because guess what? You can listen completely ad free. Plus you'll unlock exclusive bonus content like Halle Berry on how to be a good partner during menopause or Mehdi Husson on the dumbing down of media clips you won't hear anywhere else. Just tap that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts or head to lemonadapremium.com to subscribe on any other app. That's lemonadapremium. Com. Don't miss out.