Ramy Youssef is Your Elmo-Approved Muslim

Summary

---

Hasan Minhaj Doesn’t Know: "Ramy Youssef is Your Elmo-Approved Muslim"

Date: May 6, 2026
Host: Hasan Minhaj (186k Films)
Guest: Ramy Youssef
Episode Theme:
Comedian, actor, and show creator Ramy Youssef sits down with Hasan Minhaj for a funny, warm, and probing conversation about Muslim representation, culture, the quirks of family, the digital age, internet obsessions, spirituality, activism, and what makes him “Elmo-approved.” They jump from deep dives into faith and politics to the hilarity of childhood cartoon crushes, with irreverent tangents and classic Northeast banter.

---

Main Theme & Purpose

The episode’s heart is a spirited, multi-layered discussion of modern Muslim identity—filtered through comedy, art, family, and pop culture. Minhaj and Youssef deconstruct everything from faith and privacy in the age of AI to immigrant parents’ Candy Crush addictions and what it’s like to be political comedians with public platforms (and private hangups).

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Cartoon Crushes, Vulnerability, and Childhood Confessions

• Lola Bunny vs. Anastasia:
  • The episode opens with Minhaj relaying his childhood (and possibly ongoing) crush on Lola Bunny from “Space Jam.” Youssef teases out the lingering affection with comic precision, sparking a recurring motif about how vulnerability can be weaponized in relationships.
  • “[Lola Bunny] can hoop... for a basketball-playing bunny rabbit, yes [she’s attractive].” —Dave (Hasan), (00:50)
  • Ramy’s advice: “For you, this is the kind of thing I would edit out. Don’t let this go to air.” —Ramy, (00:59 & 21:34)
• Childhood vs. Adult Attraction:
  • The ethical line between identifying childhood crushes and admitting lingering attraction as adults, with Youssef warning, “This is not a ’96, this is a ’26!”

2. Family, Technology, and Immigrant Parental Habits

• Parents & The Internet:
  • Ramy recounts his mom’s Candy Crush obsession and his dad’s mastery of word puzzle games, with both Minhaj and Youssef riffing on how their parents have become, in their words, “low-key gamers.”
  • “Moms are low key spending their Social Security on Candy Crush.” —Ramy (08:22)
  • Minhaj jokes about the binary choice: “Would you take a kidney transplant or a brand new iPhone 17 Pro Max 512 gigabyte?” (10:40)
• Digital Distractions & Generational Irony:
  • Hilariously, both families bemoan not seeing their kids enough, even as everyone at home is glued to their screens: “It’s kind of Internet cafe vibe.” —Ramy (09:00)

3. Islam as “Future-Proof”: Privacy, Burqas, and Digital Age Hardships

• Jokes with Depth:
  • Ramy discusses a bit from his special (13:34-16:10), leveraging the burqa as not just a religious/cultural symbol but ultimate privacy shield in the age of omnipresent digital surveillance and AI deepfakes.
  • “The burqa is the ultimate ‘reject all cookies.’” —Ramy (15:55)
• Islamic Practice as Modern Safeguard:
  • Fasting and lifestyle boundaries (“We’ve been on [intermittent fasting].”) shield from newer social and digital vices.
• Handling AI Risks:
  • “How do you stop yourself from being literally turned into pornography? … The only thing I could think of was the burqa.” —Ramy (14:04)

4. Politics, Activism, and Comedic Responsibility

• Platform Pressure & Burnout:
  • Both reflect on the burden to always “go hard in the paint” on every humanitarian or political issue, and the alienation of being expected to comment on everything.
    • “If I have Instagram on my phone, I will be tweeting, posting about a whole host of things... if it’s not, sorry guys, I missed this one.” —Ramy (26:17)
• Generational Skepticism:
  • Raised among Egyptian-American conversations, Youssef is less shocked at U.S. political corruption than his peers.
    • “All the Arabs are like, yeah, that’s what presidents do. Like, you guys don’t know this?” —Ramy (29:38)
• Beautiful, Human Spirituality:
  • Both agree on the importance of seeing “bad people” as fundamentally good but infected—with Ramy framing this via spiritual disease and zombie apocalypse metaphors.
  • “You kind of want to give people the opportunity to get better... maybe things can get better. Because they can.” —Ramy (33:51)

5. Faith, Pilgrimage, and Spiritual Encounters

• Umrah and Spiritual Frequency:

  • Ramy describes the sacred energy of Mecca/Umrah (34:11-34:52), and the interplay of ancient faith and contemporary life (e.g., shopping for a Gucci bag after pilgrimage).

• Vatican Stories:

  • Hilarious tales of touring the Vatican with a team of comedians, and Jimmy Fallon upstaging the Pope:
    • “Imagine 150 people... and there’s this tension of, when’s the Pope gonna come out? And through this giant side door, Jimmy Fallon walks through and goes, ‘We can get started.’” —Ramy (37:27)

6. Cultural Artifacts, Legacy, and Documentation

• Saving the Past:
  • Both recall the artifacts left from growing up—newspaper clippings, VHS tapes, the pride of local press over national.
    • “Local paper is so much cooler than New York Times.” —Ramy (46:14)
    • On his dad’s use of audio tape exchanges to Egypt: “I always thought that was so inspiring. So beautiful. And he didn’t know how long he would stay in the States when he came.” —Ramy (40:51)

7. Jersey Pride and Local Lore

• Jersey Culture, Trivia, and Weirdness:
  • A Jersey-centric quiz leads to tangents on landmarks (e.g., Hindenburg, Dunkin’ Donuts’ origins), amusement parks (Kingda Ka, Action Park), and local cryptids.
    • “We only have one sports team... the Devils. And how many of those gambles are really about the Devils?” —Ramy (52:41)
  • The mythology of the Jersey Devil and marshland alien tales reflect Jersey’s “Florida energy.”
    • “No, the alien is probably right off the side of the highway. That’s that smell.” —Ramy (56:17)

---

Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On Keeping Things Private:
  • “Certain things should be hidden, and that would be one of them.” —Ramy, on skipping tooth brushing confessions (06:51)
• On Spiritual Health:
  • “It’s like plaque and Palestine. These are very important issues for me.” —Ramy (07:38)
• On Social Media Burnout vs. Activism:
  • “I’m not part of the actual government. I think it’ll be okay if I’m not... We have microphones. We’re louder than other people.” —Ramy (23:55)
• On Heritage:
  • “Any real spiritual practice will show you that... It’s not even fun to judge people.” —Ramy (31:37)

---

Engaging & Notable Segments (Timestamps)

• 00:50 – Comedy on cartoon crushes and vulnerability in relationships
• 08:12 – Moms as secret mobile gamers; immigrant parent digital obsessions
• 13:34 – Islam, the burqa, and privacy in the digital/AI age
• 21:10 – The continuing (and controversial) Lola Bunny attraction
• 23:09 – Power moves: public pee breaks and the perils of being “political comedians”
• 26:17 – Activism fatigue and platform management
• 29:38 – How Egyptian political culture informs American perceptions
• 34:11 – The emotion of Umrah and spiritual pilgrimage
• 37:27 – Meeting the Pope (and Jimmy Fallon’s comedic entrance)
• 40:51 – Telling family stories via audio tapes and the emotional heart of “Ramy”
• 46:14 – The unique pride in local press and artifacts
• 48:21–54:59 – Jersey trivia: Hindenburg, Dunkin’ Donuts, Theme Parks, Gambling
• 56:09 – Local cryptids: Jersey Devil, marshland aliens, and “weird New Jersey” lore

---

Summary of Episode Tone

The conversation is full of warmth, wit, and easy banter—playful and irreverent but never shallow. Hasan and Ramy seamlessly blend big questions with pop culture and personal tales, making profound cultural insights digestible and deeply funny. Vulnerability, debate, and family history interweave with the everyday absurdities of being Muslim, American, and somewhat public, in a world that’s both overexposed and misunderstood.

---

For listeners:
This episode is a journey—at once hilarious, philosophical, and achingly relatable—into the lives and minds of two of American comedy’s most thoughtful voices. If you missed the laughter, the nostalgia, or the real talk about surviving the internet, family, and activism, this summary brings you to their table.

Transcript

[Dave]

Lemonade.

[Ramy Youssef]

Uh huh.

[Dave]

And Bina was so disgusted, she's like, gross. Lola Bunny, that's what you're into. Like you're into this like perverted bunny. Bunny rabbit. And I was like, how could I, how could I have let my guard down?

[Ramy Youssef]

Just a question about the attraction. Was this like you were talking about when you were a kid or is it a current.

[Dave]

No, no, no. I was saying as a kid I totally understood why Bugs Bunny was attracted to her. And sure, I get it. If I also was an animated cartoon, yeah, I'd be attracted. She can hoop. She's like.

[Ramy Youssef]

But for the record, where does your attraction currently stand for?

[Dave]

Lola as a 40 year old adult man that's married with two children.

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah, yeah, she's fly.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Ramy Youssef]

It feels like it's still going on.

[Dave]

I mean, if you're asking me do I think Lola Bunny's attractive, yeah, she's attractive For a, for a basketball playing bunny rabbit, yes. But why is this a bad thing to say?

[Ramy Youssef]

I'll be honest, bro, for you, this is the kind of thing I would edit out. Don't let this go to air.

[Dave]

Probably know Ramy Youssef as an accomplished actor, comedian, director and show creator. He's won a Peabody and a Golden Globe and called for a ceasefire live on snl.

[Ramy Youssef]

Free the people of Palestine, please.

[Dave]

But the accomplishment, I'm most proud of him for. He, he got Elmo to say, asalamu alaikum, Mr. Brahmi. What does salam alaikum mean?

[Ramy Youssef]

Well, salam means peace and it's a way to say hello in Arabic.

[Dave]

Oh, cool. Salaam alaikum, everybody. Not only was this a beautiful lesson for American children to embrace and celebrate other cultures, it made Fox News lose their Laura. Next, Bert and Ernie will be praying five times a day on Sesame street facing east. Listen, Sesame Workshop, if you bring me on, I will get Oster the Grouchy to take the shahada. So I sat down with my Elmo approved friend to talk about his new HBO special, In Love, now streaming, which has some pretty spicy takes.

[Ramy Youssef]

There's cameras everywhere. They're watching everything you do. They're listening to everything you do. How do you protect your image? The only thing I could think of was the. The burqa.

[Dave]

We also went deep on my childhood crush Lola Bunny from Space Jam. And this has never happened before. But in the middle of the interview, he left for a bathroom break. And to be clear, I am totally fine with my guests taking bathroom breaks. And my viewers, although half of you are already watching this on the toilet. So. Hi, there. Hurry right away, no delay. Stop Dave. Make your daddy glad to have had such a land.

[Ramy Youssef]

I. I forgot my. Forgot my wedding ring. Yeah, it's at the house. I can't wear your ring. No.

[Dave]

You know what's crazy is there's no. There's not even a mark.

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah, it's. I just.

[Dave]

What the hell?

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah, I know I forgot it because I always forget it, dog.

[Dave]

It's gotta leave. It's gotta leave an indelible.

[Ramy Youssef]

I know. I know. When I take. When I. I take it off always to wash my hands, and then a lot of times I'll forget it at the sink, and I've left it in sinks that I'm like, out. Cafe sink. Go back the next day.

[Dave]

You've been at a Grand Lux Cafe bathroom.

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah. I take the ring off to wash my hands.

[Dave]

Damn.

[Ramy Youssef]

And then.

[Dave]

Really?

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah. Yeah. Cause I don't like the idea of soap getting caught under the ring or, you know, it just gets kind of. So I want to do a thorough. And then I'll start thinking about something else, and then I'll. Later in the day, I go, oh, I left it at this cafe.

[Dave]

And then I go back and they found it.

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah, it's. It's. It's happened too many times when I travel.

[Dave]

I don't.

[Ramy Youssef]

I just leave it at home because I don't want to leave it, you know, in another country or another state. Yeah.

[Dave]

Can I say your wife's name or. No, rather not. How. How does your wife. How does your wife feel? Wifey's cool with this.

[Ramy Youssef]

She goes, leave the ring at home. Yeah. She goes, just leave it. Yeah. She goes, just don't even.

[Dave]

Nah, bro, you gotta rock it. I use it as a power move.

[Ramy Youssef]

I think I just want to get a backup ring.

[Dave]

I'll be on set. I'll be on set and we'll be in a scene. I'll go, hey, can someone take this. Hey, can someone take this sign of infallible love?

[Ramy Youssef]

And do people kind of look at you like, wow, he's. He's a married guy.

[Dave]

I don't know. I don't even know what they're thinking. I don't even know what they're thinking. But I just do. I just do it for the flex.

[Ramy Youssef]

All right.

[Dave]

You want to know a fun fact? I'm going to put you on the spot right now. Please. You know what's so crazy is we tried to get you on the show last year, and you said, no, no way. 100% yes.

[Ramy Youssef]

No way.

[Dave]

You know how wild it is to invite you on the show. And then we kick it two days later. And then I don't mention. I can't.

[Ramy Youssef]

That didn't get. I mean, it didn't get to me because I asked to be on the show this year. I said, hey, I really want to be on it. And actually I've been watching the podcast going, why am I not on this podcast?

[Dave]

Yeah, why not?

[Ramy Youssef]

No, no, this was a miscommunication. I'm. I'm 100%.

[Dave]

I never personally ask because my heart can't take the.

[Ramy Youssef]

No, no, no, no.

[Dave]

I never personally ask.

[Ramy Youssef]

I'll tell you what might have happened.

[Dave]

What's happened.

[Ramy Youssef]

That's what might happen. Sometimes I hit a wall, you know, where I just go, I can't keep talking about myself, whatever it is. And so sometimes I'll go, hey, this is the last day I'm gonna do a thing and I don't wanna do anything afterwards. I'm guessing it must have been that because I've been watching this podcast for a year, going, this is kind of weird. Guy never asked me to be on it. What's going on?

[Dave]

Well, why don't you confront me about this, bro? We see each other all the time. Why don't you?

[Ramy Youssef]

Because I don't actually. Because when I see you, I'm just happy to see you. You on the podcast is a different thing. It's a whole other entity. Yeah.

[Dave]

You know, you could confront me, by the way, like, that is an emotional language that I. I respond to confrontation. Confrontation. I have other friends that don't respond to it. But it's my.

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah, no, I don't mind. And to me, I don't even view it as confrontation. It's just like talking. Yeah. It's truly just a conversation. Yeah. No, but you get it.

[Dave]

I do get it now.

[Ramy Youssef]

The Heiress, but I'm not gonna.

[Dave]

But, hey, can I tell you what I don't get?

[Ramy Youssef]

Tell me.

[Dave]

It's like a 12 month gap. You weren't on the show, was on the show. And then I see you pop up on Neil's podcast. And then Neil shares an intimate story that I shared on his show about how sometimes at night I don't brush my teeth before I go to bed. I'll be up late and I'll be like, fuck it, I'm just gonna go to.

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah, go to bed.

[Dave]

And then you were like, yeah, it's kind of gross. It's actually kind of disgusting that Hassan does that.

[Ramy Youssef]

Did this happen?

[Dave]

This Happened.

[Ramy Youssef]

We talked about you not brushing your teeth.

[Dave]

Yeah, let's go to the clip. You know, Hasan Minaj doesn't brush his teeth some nights. It's the creepiest thing anyone's ever said on this.

[Ramy Youssef]

Well, he also seems so clean.

[Dave]

You throw me. You throw your boy under the bus. You just. You. Yes. And it. You retweet it, you're like, yeah, that is fucking gross.

[Ramy Youssef]

I mean, you really gotta brush your teeth before you go to bed.

[Dave]

I'm saying on a. An occasion or two, you've never done that where you stay up, stay up super late. You stay up super late and you're like, you know what? I'm gonna let it rock.

[Ramy Youssef]

I guess I think certain things should be hidden, and that would be one of them.

[Dave]

That's fair.

[Ramy Youssef]

Certain things can't be promoted. You know what I mean? And I think dental health is crucial. I've seen a lot of people fall to dental issues in my family in their older age. So maybe it's kind of a triggering one for me. You ever see that? You ever just see like a couple of root canals take out your grandpa? You go, oh, my God, this guy's still dealing with dentist stuff.

[Dave]

You are, right? There is.

[Ramy Youssef]

It's tragic.

[Dave]

There is a generational thing where you're

[Ramy Youssef]

like, oh, dude, just a lot of guns, old people in our family just. Just falling at the dentist. And it's just this crazy quality of life, you know? So, yeah, I guess I. I didn't realize actually how emotional I am about this issue. Yeah.

[Dave]

And it was. You're right. And maybe it was a different. And it does make me think about, like. You guys didn't have toothpaste.

[Ramy Youssef]

No, no, this is on. This is just skyrocketed to the top of things I care about. It's like. It's like plaque and Palestine. These are very important issues for me. Top two issues, and they have to be solved.

[Dave]

I told you this before, this is one of my favorite specials that you've done. I think it's one of your funniest specials. Funniest and the most personal and spiritual. You talk about many things in the special that I'm dealing with right now. The first is getting our parents off the goddamn Internet, bro. This is a huge, huge.

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah, well, you know, cell phone. Cell phone games are mainly used by moms. Moms are low key.

[Dave]

The biggest gamers on Candy Crush and all that stuff.

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah, they're doing crazy numbers. They're paying in ways you would never imagine. Moms are low key. Spending Their Social Security on Candy Crush and these games that you'd buy more jewels with and stuff like that. Yeah, yeah. Ask any mom if she wants a piece of jewelry or if she wants, you know, like, is your mom. Get some royal kingdom? So, yeah, ask any mom what she wants. She'll go buy me some. Buy me some crystals. On this phone game. This is the world that we're in.

[Dave]

Do you do that thing where you visit your parents and they're like, hey, you need to see us. You need to see us more. Then you get home and both your parents are on the phone all the time.

[Ramy Youssef]

It's kind of Internet cafe vibe.

[Dave]

Oh, you're in the living room.

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah, Just visiting the family. Yeah. Everyone's got their own device, doing their thing, and then, you know, you show up and incredible food.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Ramy Youssef]

So loving. Pray together, then play together. Right. Where we get our phones out, get on pop in the games. My dad has a word puzzle. He's just doing words. Yeah. You know, he knows how to word combo.

[Dave]

We use him a wordle. Your dad, it's not like wordle.

[Ramy Youssef]

Have you seen it? It's a circle with all these letters and it's just you. You make words with the letters, you know, and so it's kind of incredible, actually, because for a guy who grew up in Egypt, his command of the English language is incredible. Now because of this game, he just knows all these really obscure words. Okay. Because, you know, he wants to win the game.

[Dave]

And then. And then your mom's on just like, yeah, these. Candy crush, Magic kingdom, royal kingdom, Candy

[Ramy Youssef]

crush, All that kind of stuff. Yeah, yeah. She's really, you know, high ranks, too. I'm proud. Like, I kind of looked at the global chart. Yeah, she's. She's doing it. It's like her. There's some numbers out of Russia, but she's in that kind of top 30 global.

[Dave]

I mean, that is kind of unexpected. No, no, no, no.

[Ramy Youssef]

It's inspiring and it kind of just. Yeah, it makes me think this is a family of excellence. Just in terms of what we're kind of. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just putting in numbers.

[Dave]

Bravo. That's a new way to think about it.

[Ramy Youssef]

That's how I think about it. There's sometimes you go, guys, can you get outside? Go for a walk? Then you see the global rank and you go, keep clicking. You know, like, just. Just keep going.

[Dave]

I've had this philosophical situation that I've had with my parents where I was like, they're so addicted to their phones. I'm like, Would you take a kidney transplant or a brand new iPhone 17 Pro Max 512 gigabyte?

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah, dude, why are you putting them in that situation? You make money.

[Dave]

Another 10.

[Ramy Youssef]

You make money. I know you make money.

[Dave]

So you're saying I could do both?

[Ramy Youssef]

You easily could do both.

[Dave]

I want to put them in hardcore binary situations.

[Ramy Youssef]

Why are you trying to be a brown dad to your own parents?

[Dave]

That's what I've become, bro.

[Ramy Youssef]

Give them the kidney and the phone.

[Dave]

No, because. Because they go on Facebook and then this is their goddamn gateway.

[Ramy Youssef]

Let them be on Facebook.

[Dave]

I'll see them like this. Facebook was the gateway drug.

[Ramy Youssef]

Okay, so this is doing a lot, right? So this is awesome photograph, right? It's obviously fake.

[Dave]

Yes, 100%.

[Ramy Youssef]

And awesome. It is awesome.

[Dave]

It is objectively awesome. I mean, look, the 60.2 thousand likes is the crazy part.

[Ramy Youssef]

That's the crazy part. No, it's crazy, but I mean, dude, the dog is skiing, right? And whether that's real or not at this point is. I mean, dude, you know, remember when we were kids? Did you ever go to Barnes and Noble when Harry Potter books were coming out? I didn't wait, but I was waiting. My parents would bring me. They go, we know you love Harry Potter. We're gonna bring you to Barnes and Noble at midnight, and you're gonna get that book that you want. Yeah, let them like this shit. This is where they're at.

[Dave]

You're gonna compare AI slop to you waiting in line for Harry Potter. Harry Potter.

[Ramy Youssef]

And, well, look, both are fake and both make people happy.

[Dave]

Okay.

[Ramy Youssef]

You know, so it's like, sure, yeah. And my mom now actually has more faith in what could happen on earth. She thinks animals can do all these incredible things. Drive.

[Dave]

Picture this. You're finally taking time to clean out your gutters. Not fun, but, hey, good for you. Your elbows deep in soggy leaves. And then suddenly, the smoke alarm starts blaring from inside. Smoke pours out the window. What do you do? ADTs do it yourself systems are built for those moments in your life when everything turns on a dime. They're aff easy to set up, and the ADT plus app keeps you in control 24 7. From virtually anywhere, tackle your to do list knowing that your home is protected. When every second Counts, count on ADT. Visit ADT.com or call 1-800-ADTASAP Amazon Health.

[Ramy Youssef]

AI presents painful thoughts I can't stop scratching my downtown. Mm. Yeah, but I'm not itching to go downtown and tell a receptionist I'm here to talk about my downtown. Some things you'd rather type than say out loud. There's no question. Too embarrassing for Amazon Health AI. Chat your symptoms and get virtual care 24. 7 Healthcare just got less painful.

[Dave]

You have this great joke in the special where you talk about how Islam is future proof. The burqa AI bit is amazing.

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah, the bit is just. I was really shocked. You know, I don't have a Twitter account that's. I have one that's for just basketball. So it's. It's. It's. I go on. My whole feed is mainly Lebron and then sometimes Israel. Okay. So obviously it was a field day when Lebron got on there and was like, I've heard nothing but good things about Israel. Which was a hilarious take.

[Dave]

Sure, it's up there with his first page. Every book, he's first page every month.

[Ramy Youssef]

You know, so then you kind of go, you've heard nothing but good things. That's wild. You know, but so. So I have this, this, this, you know, X account, and I'll go on there just to see sports stuff. And I got really disturbed by this grok thing because they're just any woman's photo and it's getting manipulated. And then they go, we're fixing it or we're handling it or we're doing whatever. And then you go, wait. We're in this highly digitized society now. There's cameras everywhere. They're watching everything you do. They're listening to everything you do. How do you protect your image? How do you stop yourself from being literally turned into pornography? Because that's what we're barreling towards. That's what's happening now. And, yeah, the only thing I could think of was the burqa. What are you gonna do? Yeah, if all you got's my eyes. And I think men should wear it, too, because I. And you know what it's like being a prominent guy and being objective. You've been sexualized. This is why me not having my wedding ring today is really devastating for me. I don't know what people are gonna do. I'm walking around. This thing's a really important thing. It's a finger hijab. And I'm walking around just naked, you know, and so this, for me, is not.

[Dave]

It's not a good look. People think you're a man of the street. People. Yeah, yeah.

[Ramy Youssef]

No, it's not good.

[Dave]

Yeah, totally.

[Ramy Youssef]

So, you know, my argument is not about gender. It's about privacy. And that's where I go, wow, we were kind of onto something.

[Dave]

That was the. That was the original. Reject all. You know, sometimes you go to these websites, especially when you travel internationally.

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah.

[Dave]

Hardcore.

[Ramy Youssef]

I'm not sharing cookies.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Ramy Youssef]

Not sharing cookies.

[Dave]

Reject all cookies.

[Ramy Youssef]

That is. The book is the ultimate. No cookies.

[Dave]

Reject all.

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah.

[Dave]

Reject all.

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah. So I'm not. This is a privacy argument. You know, this is a. It's. It's like wearing a VPN.

[Dave]

100%.

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah.

[Dave]

I actually love framing Islam as being future proof for many problems. Do you have other issues that you use? Because I don't like arguing about the past. Sometimes people come up to me, try to debate me about, like, well, what does this passage mean? What does this passage mean? Like, listen, bro, it saved me from online gambling. You have a DraftKings problem. I don't.

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah.

[Dave]

That is Uncut gems has no application to me. Do you see what I'm saying?

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah.

[Dave]

I'm future proof.

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah, it is. It does stop a DraftKings addiction if you.

[Dave]

Do you have any things that you feel you're like, already future proof handled because of Islam.

[Ramy Youssef]

Well, it's interesting, right? Intermittent fasting. We've been on it.

[Dave]

Been on it the whole 16. Nine.

[Ramy Youssef]

Been doing it.

[Dave]

I can eat for nine. But then I don't even. It's, like, done.

[Ramy Youssef]

I mean, look, the whole concept of a spiritual construct that says, hey, don't believe in what you can see. Ponder on the unseen. Look what you can see. Dog is skiing.

[Dave]

A dog is skiing next to a baby that's the same size.

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah. Let me close my eyes. I think that might be a more real image at this point.

[Dave]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ramy Youssef]

Right. This is cool. But we know it's not real.

[Dave]

Yeah. Just even the idea of the unseen being more real than what we're seeing with our own eyes.

[Ramy Youssef]

There's an interesting thing to think about, though, which is, you know, a lot of times when you, like. You ever see this in sports where records keep getting broken? And then once an athlete knows that that record could be reached, they end up surpassing it.

[Dave]

Right.

[Ramy Youssef]

And so there is a part of you that has to wonder with all these images, are some of these dogs gonna go,

[Dave]

can I ski? Can I go alpine skiing?

[Ramy Youssef]

And that's, I think, the kind of thing that we got to figure out over the next five to ten.

[Dave]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ramy Youssef]

Are some of these dogs gonna see these images and go, I. You know what? Let me do that.

[Dave]

You should show that image to Basha.

[Ramy Youssef]

Go, I. I will. I try to show my dog a lot of these AI things just to kind of see, bro, you're gonna step up because your peers are really doing.

[Dave]

It could be something.

[Ramy Youssef]

You could be doing these things. Yeah, yeah. Which, you know, I don't know, maybe it's a faulty premise because obviously any of these dogs could have been watching Air Bud and getting inspired, and they obviously haven't for many years.

[Dave]

They haven't dunked.

[Ramy Youssef]

We're kind of yet to see a golden break into any league.

[Dave]

One can hope. You have a whole beat in the show that I really loved. Once again. You, like, you really play with the audience's expectations of stuff. And you talk about. You're like, hey, my wife's my best friend. Isn't that right, fellas?

[Ramy Youssef]

You get a lot of, like, guys going.

[Dave]

Guys. Yeah. She's my best friend or bff. You talked about how, like, you have this opportunity to cry in front of someone.

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah.

[Dave]

The world doesn't let you cry.

[Ramy Youssef]

You can't. Yeah.

[Dave]

You can't just be out here crying in front of the boys. They may not have the emotional vulnerability to accept you. But you talked about there's a critical moment once you cross a particular amount of crying.

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah.

[Dave]

She'll go, what the fuck is wrong with you?

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah. Question your sexuality. Yeah.

[Dave]

It reminded me of some wife thoughts that I had, some moments where I was sharing details with my wife. I thought we were cool across the line.

[Ramy Youssef]

Got weaponized later.

[Dave]

Got weaponized later. I'll give an example. Bina loves Anastasia, the animated movie. I'm not gonna lie. I love Anastasia.

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah. It's incredible.

[Dave]

It's a great movie. It's oddly very dark.

[Ramy Youssef]

Totally. It's got the whole European vibe.

[Dave]

Yeah. It's like. It's. It's extremely dark. It's moody.

[Ramy Youssef]

It affected me as a child. Yeah.

[Dave]

But then also, like, the bat is super cute and funny. Like, there's comedy in it. There's, like, demons.

[Ramy Youssef]

It's.

[Dave]

It's actually a great film. And I opened up a little bit. I was like, being. I actually wanted to let you know I, like Meg Ryan, became my first crush because Meg Ryan's the voice of Anastasia. Just want to let you know it kind of brought us closer together. She loves Anastasia. I love Anastasia. I was like, I had a crush on her. It's fun.

[Ramy Youssef]

And this made you cry? The Meg Ryan crush that made me cry. Okay.

[Dave]

But I'll tell you, when she turned on me. So we were watching Space Jam, the first one, and I'm opening up to her. I was like, yeah, like Lola Bunnies kind Of fly. Like, I'm into Lola Bunny. She was really quite attractive.

[Ramy Youssef]

Uh huh.

[Dave]

And Bina was so disgusted. She's like, gross. Like they completely sexualized Lola Bunny. That's what you're into. Like you're into this like perverted bunny. Bunny rabbit. And I was like, how could I, how could I have let my guard down to let you in on this?

[Ramy Youssef]

Right?

[Dave]

Yeah. And they got weaponized.

[Ramy Youssef]

Just a question about the attraction. Was this like you were talking about when you were a kid or is it a current.

[Dave]

No, no, I was saying as a kid, I totally understood why Bugs Bunny was attracted to her. And sure, I get it. If I also was an animated cartoon, yeah, I'd be attracted.

[Ramy Youssef]

She can hoop, right?

[Dave]

She's like.

[Ramy Youssef]

But for the record, where does your attraction currently stand for?

[Dave]

Lola as a 40 year old adult man that's married with two children?

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah, yeah, she's fly.

[Dave]

Lola Bunny's fly. Yeah.

[Ramy Youssef]

It feels like it's still going on.

[Dave]

I mean, if you're asking me do I think Lola Bunny's attractive, yeah, she's attractive. For a basketball playing bunny rabbit, yes. But why is this a bad thing to say?

[Ramy Youssef]

I'll be honest, bro, for you, this is the kind of thing I would edit out. Don't let this go to air. This shit has stayed in the house. Cause I don't even know. I'm trying to understand the implications.

[Dave]

Walk me through this. So all of a sudden I'm like, yeah, I could admit that I had a crush on Meg Ryan as a kid. I wasn't even aware who she was based on her voice alone.

[Ramy Youssef]

I know, but in an estate. She's a human woman. Right? Is a human woman.

[Dave]

Okay.

[Ramy Youssef]

And then on the other side you have. It's a bunny rabbit sexed up bunny. Right?

[Dave]

Bro, they're both cartoons, so why does this.

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah, but the, the distance you're going and the fact that it's still ongoing. Oh, so you're saying that's what it is?

[Dave]

You're saying that Anastasia as a cartoon woman is more real. And then as soon as you're getting into Lola Bunny, this is turning into some weird hentai shit. Is that what you're saying?

[Ramy Youssef]

And I'm not even judging the hentai community. I'm just saying where do you want people to. How do you want to be viewed?

[Dave]

All right.

[Ramy Youssef]

And certain things maybe are private. That's all I'm saying. But this seems to have never stopped for you.

[Dave]

I'm trying to even think of a way out of it, but I Was like. Yeah, I guess I kind of was.

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah.

[Dave]

In 1996. Yeah. I was in love with a bunny.

[Ramy Youssef]

No, no, don't, don't. Oh, you 96 it.

[Dave]

Oh, okay. You want me to own it. You want me to own it, right?

[Ramy Youssef]

In 2020, it's 26.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Ramy Youssef]

This is a 26. Yeah. It's not a 96. It's a 26, you know.

[Dave]

Oh, can I do two tangents with you?

[Ramy Youssef]

Can I pee?

[Dave]

You want to pee?

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah. Is that okay? Yeah, yeah. Because I drank so much of the. Go ahead of the water.

[Dave]

Go ahead. Yeah, yeah, bro. Doing the bathroom break in the middle of the.

[Ramy Youssef]

Oh, my God. When you got a pee.

[Dave]

I've never done that.

[Ramy Youssef]

You've never peed.

[Dave]

Power. I've peed. I peed, but I've never done it. But mid. That's the power move. That's the power move.

[Ramy Youssef]

I want to give you everything, you know, I don't want to be thinking about that.

[Dave]

I have to pee sometimes. We're both framed as, like, political comedians by virtue of what we do in the media. Now I get where. Where it's put on me, especially coming from the Daily Show, Patriot act, all that stuff.

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah.

[Dave]

How do you navigate your role in relation to politics?

[Ramy Youssef]

You know, I think it's. It's. There are periods where I'm online, where I'm on. I'm posting. I've got Instagram on my phone, and there's periods where I don't have it on at all. Yeah. And so right now, it's been off pretty much all year just because I felt overwhelmed by it all.

[Dave]

Yes.

[Ramy Youssef]

And that is where I just go, you know what? I'm not part of the actual government. I think it'll be okay if I'm not, you know, And I think, you know, standing up for human rights, it's like, it is our duty. We literally have microphones. We're louder than other people. So there's a threshold of what you have to say and what you have to do. And I think, you know, I think you're really great about that. And I think so many people I know genuinely care in front of the camera and behind the scenes, you know, the amount of people who I think we know who help families directly deal with their entire countries and worlds being ruined. And so you always want to be a part of that, and you always want to be there. And then at the same time. Yeah. At a certain point, you go like, well, we also want to make people laugh, and we have a, you know, A certain role. And. Yeah, and so, yeah, it's. It's. I mean, that's what's kind of sick about Zoran, right? He tried rapping and then he said, I don't think I'm going to rap my way to any sort of justice for anybody. Let me actually get involved in there. Yeah.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Ramy Youssef]

So,

[Dave]

damn, bro. Really, he really threw his musical aspirations underneath the bus. I actually like the songs you like? You liked. I like. Oh, you actually liked Young Cardamom?

[Ramy Youssef]

You're like, I actually. I think it's kind of a bop. And I think he tapped out at the right time. I think he said, okay, yeah, these are sick. I got Lupita. Yeah, I did this.

[Dave]

And now it's time to make real change.

[Ramy Youssef]

Let me go, Govern. Yeah, yeah.

[Dave]

Do you ever have that thing where you're also, like, when people are like, you're not going hard in the paint enough? Because you had this thing about in your previous special where you do this joke about you were raising money for a humanitarian cause. And then people like, what about the floods in Pakistan?

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah.

[Dave]

Where you basically have to be plugging up the holes of every humanitarian crisis around the world. Do you think at some point we should just pin something in grid to be like, you know, where I stand on the issues, right? It's like, hey, like, my name is Rami Yousef. Like, you know, where I, you know,

[Ramy Youssef]

I care about people, right? Yeah.

[Dave]

Like, you know how I feel about this particular issue.

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah. I think it's disingenuous. It's disingenuous when people kind of go, oh, you talked about this thing, but you didn't talk about that thing. And then they kind of try and get you in some sort of thing. And what it does, I think, to some people is make them go, oh, you know what? I'm just not gonna talk about anything. Right? And I think that's kind of the goal of that type of interrogation. So I don't fall for it. You know what? If I have Instagram on my phone, I will be tweeting, posting about a whole host of things, you know, if it's on my phone, if it's not, you know, sorry, guys, I missed. I missed this one. You know, so. And I think it's totally fine. I don't think. I actually don't think I have to be, you know, 24 7. But, yeah, you know, you know how I feel.

[Dave]

That should be a pin.

[Ramy Youssef]

I'm gonna pin this up right now.

[Dave]

If you want my poll quote, you know how I Feel about this? Not good. Thumbs down. I don't approve. I also preemptively don't approve, just in case you circle back and do it later. Not cool.

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah.

[Dave]

Not with it. Let me just get that on the record right now. Anyways.

[Ramy Youssef]

Stop the fucking bombs, you crazy bastards.

[Dave]

Here's what I'm trying to say is I actually get it the worst from someone. Dubois. Like, Du Bois on my, like, group thread.

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah.

[Dave]

Oh, bro, I got friends that are. That are.

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dave]

That are in B2B sass, giving me hell. Nothing's worse than they work in it and they're coming at me.

[Ramy Youssef]

Oh, yeah, yeah. No, the friends are the worst. Oh, bro, they're. Yeah, they're. Because they're monitoring.

[Dave]

They're every move coming at me, they

[Ramy Youssef]

have direct access to. And they go, dude.

[Dave]

But I got to call them on their. Because sometimes they'll be like, bro, you're not going hard enough at the paint.

[Ramy Youssef]

You see what Ramy just did? Where you at? Did you. Has that happened? Bro, it happens all the time. I've done something, and then you've done

[Dave]

something, and then I. I catch, and you get blowback.

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah.

[Dave]

I'm like, oh, wow, he's hosting sn. What do you want me to do, bro? I'm in the crowd. I'm in the crowd while he's hosting snl. What do you want me to do?

[Ramy Youssef]

Right? You get, like, aunties.

[Dave]

Then these jerks, they'll be lecturing me about not using my platform. Then they'll be like, hey, by the way, can you get me a reservation at Admirals Club in New York City? I'd be like, what? Wait, wait, I thought we were going hard in the paint. And it's like, well, you know, I'm only in Manhattan for three days.

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah.

[Dave]

The thing is, I need to get me a res.

[Ramy Youssef]

If you get them that res, that is a form of activism. Brown people deserve to be seated at premium New York restaurants. I am such a supporter of people in the Gulf. I think they're some of the coolest people, and you've met them that are just the sweetest, most down to earth, amazing people. And I think that this whole conversation that we have over here about people who live there and this kind of demonic painting of the world, it's really wild, especially at this point in time. I mean, when you see the way that our president is tweeting, like, imagine not living here and going, what's going on over there? They got a. The president's promoting something called Alligator Alcatraz, they put immigrants in a prison surrounded by alligators. They grab students and they grab people off the streets and throw them in the vans. Yeah, you can't get an abortion in half the place. But they say they're the most pro women. It's really, you know, I mean, it's actually crazy.

[Dave]

I mean, this happens all the time when you travel. Like, if you get a chance to travel, you feel it. Even when I've toured, gone to Europe, people like you guys, you're out of your mind.

[Ramy Youssef]

Like, you Americans are out of your mind. It feels wild, you know, so that's. That's where I am always going to support people. The, you know, people, government stuff. It's like, what? You know, we have no angle. We have no advantage.

[Dave]

Being Egyptian and, like, growing up with Egyptian politics, being in the background of, like, family discussions and WhatsApp threads, how did that shape your perspective on American politics?

[Ramy Youssef]

Well, in a way, what's funny now is I think people are really shocked and, oh, my God, the president is lining his pockets with money. And all the Arabs are like, yeah. Everyone's like, yeah, that's what presidents do. Like, you guys don't know this. You haven't seen this. We've seen this song and dance. And so I don't think it almost for better or for worse, puts the focus on the reality that, you know, people can be amazing, even in wildly corrupt systems. So. So it's almost kind of hardens an optimism, actually.

[Dave]

Yeah. What's interesting is that people in America will then point that lens on other parts of the world and go like, yeah, that's because they don't have institutions. That. Because. That's because democracy has eroded. That's because they have strongmen, dictators. But what you just mentioned, the warmth and the spirit of the Egyptian people, that humanism is in a lot of your work.

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah.

[Dave]

Like, I really loved your subway take. Do you remember what your subway take was?

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dave]

So just for the people that haven't heard it, what was a subway take?

[Ramy Youssef]

Everyone's a good person. Everyone is a good person at their core, you know, and we're all afflicted with things. And people have spiritual diseases and things that overtake their goodness. Yes. But at the core, they're good. And then so many things can affect someone that essentially their heart becomes, you know, completely injured, completely clouded, you know,

[Dave]

but you use a specific word about the bad people, or they've been infected.

[Ramy Youssef]

They've been infected. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dave]

For sure. Which is such A dope framing.

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dave]

Putting it in zombie apocalypse terms is such a great way of thinking about humanity, of just like, look, you're ultimately a good person, but you've been bit, and that's what you've been bit. And why would I argue with someone who's been bit?

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's. It's because, you know, look, that's. That's. Any real spiritual practice will show you that. You know, it's like, it's not even fun to judge people or really get too caught up in what's going on with them. You know, it's. It's. You try to protect it from affecting you and your loved ones. You try to stop it from spreading. And, you know, what are the. How can we mask up against corporate greed and, you know, autocrats and technocrats? You got your, you know, But I'm not going to sit here and opine about, you know, specific individuals for too long, because if it's not them, it's just going to be someone else who gets just as sick with the thing that's floating around, you know, it was

[Dave]

a really great way to frame it too, because also when you look at international policy, things are framed that way.

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah.

[Dave]

Countries. These are bad countries.

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dave]

Or. Or the leaders when Maduro was captured, they're like, yeah, he's a bad guy, though. Sure, he's bad. He's bad. So we need to go extradite him the way Batman extradited that Asian dude in the Dark Knight.

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah, but we're all, like, supporting the system that just allows this virus to free flow. Yeah. So if it's not him, it'd be someone else. Remember when Tom Hanks was the first one to get Covid?

[Dave]

Okay.

[Ramy Youssef]

Remember?

[Dave]

I remember this. Yeah.

[Ramy Youssef]

It was like. Was Tom Hanks particularly reckless? It's like, no, Covid's floating around.

[Dave]

Right, Right.

[Ramy Youssef]

You know, and so some of these guys, these power vacuums and they create all this stuff and it's like, well, it's built on all that, you know, that's. That's what's happening. And so you have to actually go to the core of the thing, because you can almost make it convenient where you go, oh, my God, well, if Netanyahu is gone, everything will be okay. It's like, let's be another one.

[Dave]

Right? Right. Yeah.

[Ramy Youssef]

All we gotta do is get Trump out. And it's like, is that all we gotta do?

[Dave]

But what's also beautiful about it, man, and it's. It's. We've actually chatted about this privately is that it's helped me not fall into the logic trap of trying to argue with people about particular issues. Inside of that. Yeah, all people. And it is quite spiritual. Like all of humanity is this really beautiful spiritual thing. You can't just condemn one particular country, one particular group of people. Like trying to meet people at a very human level.

[Ramy Youssef]

Well, you kind of want to give

[Dave]

people the opportunity to get better.

[Ramy Youssef]

You want to create the opening that oh wait, maybe things can get better. Because they can, you know they can. And there's times where they have.

[Dave]

Yes.

[Ramy Youssef]

And it kind of feels like the more hard headed we are, it just gets worse.

[Dave]

You've done Umrah, right?

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah.

[Dave]

And you've done Hajj?

[Ramy Youssef]

No.

[Dave]

What's Umrah like?

[Ramy Youssef]

Oh, it's incredible. Yeah, it's, it's. I mean it's really beautiful. I mean this is a sacred frequency. I mean when you. And you know, it's all, it's all Abraham, you know, the, the Kaaba, you know, I don't think people understand the father of modern religion and one godness that, you know, is the three major religions. And this is not to discount, you know, Hinduism, Buddhism and you know, but this, this is a location with a sacred frequency that's meant a lot to a lot of people, you know, throughout human history. So you feel that, you know, you go there and you go. This is. You just feel something in your body that you can't, can't explain.

[Dave]

Really?

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah, it's super emotional, man.

[Dave]

I want to go so bad.

[Ramy Youssef]

Bro, you gotta go.

[Dave]

I've talked to your brother in law about it. We need to arrange this. You gotta need to figure it out. I was trying to figure out a way. I need to figure out.

[Ramy Youssef]

You gotta go.

[Dave]

No, bro, I'm, I'm definitely down by the way, by virtue of what I do. I'm always arguing with people. We're talking about issues that are very ad. Yeah, I'm on that BCE tip talking about Abraham, bro. That's 3,000 BCE. Yeah, yeah, that's the, that's the time I'm on.

[Ramy Youssef]

It's also wild though because like you'll go and, and then, and then it's like the most holy place. Yeah. And then, you know, you just kind of step out and you can buy a Gucci bag.

[Dave]

Oh, so you like quickly, quickly.

[Ramy Youssef]

It's.

[Dave]

Yeah, that's what it felt like when I was at your wedding. When we went to Cairo.

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dave]

Where I was like, all right, so there's the pyramids of Giza. But then here's an H and M, which is kind of a.

[Ramy Youssef]

It was just a trip. Same skyline.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Ramy Youssef]

See it? You know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the world.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Ramy Youssef]

You know, both ancient corporate structures, or

[Dave]

you got to go to the Vatican.

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah.

[Dave]

How crazy is it that Vatican City is also its own country?

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah. I didn't understand that. And the crazy thing, too, about being in Rome. There's a bunch of Egyptian stuff everywhere. I mean, it's really wild. You'll see these things that have hieroglyphics on them, and there's these.

[Dave]

Wait. Inside the Vatican.

[Ramy Youssef]

Just in Rome, you know, the Vatican itself is quite Jesus forward, I would say. Yeah, yeah. But the other stuff is very. I mean, it's wild. You see these obelisks, and you see all this stuff that very clearly was pillaged. And I'm just kind of walking around going, this is like a lot of our shit. Like, there's a lot. And it's just being.

[Dave]

Go to the British Museum dot com.

[Ramy Youssef]

I know, but at least the British is covered. You know, this rain is falling on our stuff.

[Dave]

Oh, damn. Outside, it's getting rained on. Straight up, eroding.

[Ramy Youssef]

It looks pretty clean, honestly. I think they're taking care of it.

[Dave]

What was the Vatican like for you?

[Ramy Youssef]

It was funny because you feel this spiritual thing of, whoa, this is where the Pope is and where all these guys are. But then you're walking through it with Conan o' Brien and, you know, Chris Rock.

[Dave]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Birbiglia.

[Ramy Youssef]

Mike Birbaglia. I mean, come on. You know, it's like a whole different thing when people are. Jimmy Fallon was so funny there.

[Dave]

You guys were doing bits. You guys were just walking around doing bits.

[Ramy Youssef]

He was the only one doing a bit. So he shows up late in sunglasses. We're all seated. He kind of walks in through the side and is just like, let's begin.

[Dave]

He's Catholic, though, isn't he? Yeah.

[Ramy Youssef]

No.

[Dave]

And he showed up late.

[Ramy Youssef]

I think it was a big place. I think he just probably got a little lost. But, I mean, imagine you have 150 people sitting to see the Pope, address them, and there's this tension of, when's the Pope gonna come out? And through this giant side door, Jimmy Fallon walks through and goes, we can get started.

[Dave]

That's hilarious.

[Ramy Youssef]

Best laugh I've ever seen. I mean, so funny.

[Dave]

That is very funny.

[Ramy Youssef]

Just. Just like, class clown. Yeah. Knew exactly when to. I mean, just truly spiritual. A spiritual laugh.

[Dave]

Were you guys not talking? Were you Guys, not talking while you're waiting.

[Ramy Youssef]

Every sound you hear, you go, is that about to be the Pope? So you kind of talk for a second, but then you go, oh, it's the Pope. And then, oh, it's Jimmy Fallon.

[Dave]

Oh, man.

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah.

[Dave]

Did you. So you go up and you meet the Pope. Did you kiss the ring? I didn't notice if there was kissing in Colbert Catholic. So I don't know. Did they.

[Ramy Youssef]

They might have kissed. I don't know. I didn't, I didn't. I didn't kiss. I didn't see kissing, but there very well could have been. Yeah, he was just super warm. Just a nice. You can feel it. The aura was, was mass. I mean, he was just so radiating goodness.

[Dave]

Totally. And he's also, I, you know, he's a full Italian Pope.

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dave]

Speaking Italian.

[Ramy Youssef]

Real deal. Yeah, yeah. And he, they wrote, they gave us his. A pamphlet with what he was, you know, saying in Italian. Most of us didn't understand it. It was beautiful. I mean, he really believed in laughter. He really believed in what it could do and how it could heal and how different things could come out.

[Dave]

What was the philosophical question that he was talking about? It was about. Because there's a whole thing of like, does God. Was he answering that, that philosophical question, Does God have a sense of humor or just the importance of.

[Ramy Youssef]

I think there was something about him saying that he does believe. God laughs. I think there was something about that in there, which is something I think I've heard in. In, you know, a lot of faith practices. That idea, which is always, I think so. I think the complexity of laughter. Yeah. How could that be ignored?

[Dave]

Guys, we got to talk about your secret late night Internet searches. You know the ones. Bumpy leg rash, hair loss, itchy bum. Trying to figure out your body by endlessly searching for answers. We all do it and it never works. Thankfully, there's Amazon Health AI. It can connect your symptoms with your medical history to offer personalized care 24 7. So call off the search. Amazon Health AI is here. Healthcare just got less painful. Rami Season 1, the episode about yout dad is one of the most beautiful pieces of television I've ever seen in my life. 2. Oh, that's Rami season two. 2 where he. You listen to the voicemails, the voice

[Ramy Youssef]

memos, the recordings, the one about the father, you know, so. So in season one, the Ramy character listens to some tapes.

[Dave]

Yes.

[Ramy Youssef]

You know, and then that's 103.

[Dave]

Right.

[Ramy Youssef]

No, I think it's like 107 or 8. I don't remember.

[Dave]

It was one of my favorite episodes on television.

[Ramy Youssef]

And then season two is the episode that, like, circles on the dad, and we see him recording the tapes. That particular bit of the recording of the tapes is what my father used to do when he came to America in the 80s, just making a life for himself, you know.

[Dave]

And he would send tapes back to your grandfather and my grandmother.

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah. So he would record, send it, and he'd mail it, and then they'd record and send back, you know, And I remember hearing that as a kid and. Cause my dad was very much. You know, he said, we have phone cards now. This is wild. In the 80s, you'd spend your whole paycheck if you wanted to make a call. Yeah. So I used to do this tape. This tape thing. And I always thought that that was. It was just so inspiring, you know, it was so beautiful. And he didn't know how long he would stay in the States when he came. And so I always found it to be very moving. And then it felt incredibly cinematic, obviously.

[Dave]

Yeah, you have a physical device. It's also, like an audio recording, which is really beautiful. But what you really showed in that episode that I think, like, set up the. One of the, like, spiritual and emotional engines for the whole thing is as. As kids, we often wonder, what was my dad like? And what were his dreams? And what were his dreams for me? And so that episode, like, had all of those things in it. Like, I've never had the answers to all those questions. Like, I've gotten bits and pieces from other people. Like, your dad was like this. Like, your dad was like that. Yeah, some things are true. Some things are, like trolling. Some things are comedic. But then I've never known. And I've tried to ask my dad, when I was born, what did you feel? But everything is like. He puts, like, the Sylvester Stallone veneer on everything. I'm like, you're just rocky. And on all of these things, like, yeah, it was tough and it was hard, and life really beat me down. But Hassan, I did it. I did it for our. I did it for our family. Like, it's like, come on, bro. Like, every story is just like, yeah, you were too much. But I persevered through all of it. And your mom was killing me. But I said, one of us has to live. It's like everything is like, he's the.

[Ramy Youssef]

It's really funny when. Yeah, you're your father's struggle.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Ramy Youssef]

You're what he overcame. Like, he overcame You.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Ramy Youssef]

He's like, in. Despite of you and everyone here that you know and love.

[Dave]

And I'm trying to get to, like, vulnerability. Yeah.

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah.

[Dave]

I.

[Ramy Youssef]

This is.

[Dave]

I'm trying to get to, like, were you scared? Did you have hopes?

[Ramy Youssef]

Did you.

[Dave]

Did you see me? What emotions did I evoke in you?

[Ramy Youssef]

No. My parents are quite vulnerable. I think they, in many ways, taught me vulnerability, you know, the ability to kind of, you know, be able to say how you're feeling. And I'm not saying that it was always easy for everybody, but I think that they really. You know, it's interesting, too. Like, I look back at photos of them, and I was like, these guys are cool. Like, if I look at old photos of my parents and I go, oh, they're cool. Cool clothes. Not even just for the era. Like, they figured out we all have,

[Dave]

like, three photos of our parents of them being fucking cool. So cool.

[Ramy Youssef]

Cool. But my dad was a. And this is where I think I got a fascination with cameras. My dad was obsessed with documenting. He loves documenting. He loves photos. I think this is why he did the tape recorder thing, too. My mom, same way, loves photos, so. So we have extensive photos. My dad used to work crazy hours, and first thing he'd do is he'd come home, didn't even get out of his suit, pick up the video camera. So he'd try to catch us for, like, a little bit before we go to sleep, and he'd film. So he loved. And when you think about the effort, it's actually incredible now because now, okay, we all have the iPhone and you can just take, you know, one day, you could take 400 photos of your child. This is buying the tape, you know, and saving it and buying more tapes. You know, it. There was this cost to archiving, so I think so much of it, you know, has double, triple weight, you know, in how I see it. And so, you know, they were. And my mom, too, is so about, you know, showing us music and. And documenting things. And so that was always really inspiring to be able to look at, you know, and sometimes I don't even know how good my memory is, but we have so many photos and videos that I can go, oh, w. You know, that. Yeah, that. That's what that was.

[Dave]

Like, what will our kids remember of us? Like, what treasure trove will we give them where they were? Like, this is my dad's GameCube.

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or, like, I mean, your kids will have, like, hundreds of podcast episodes.

[Dave]

What a. What a nightmare. What a nightmare. What A nightmare. What a nightmare.

[Ramy Youssef]

They'll be able to watch, but they'll be able to watch you speak to senators and business people and entertainers. Incredible.

[Dave]

I mean, everything you just said was depressing.

[Ramy Youssef]

No, it's. It's cool. I think it's cool. Yeah, I think it's cool. I think it's really cool.

[Dave]

I have a ton of the stuff that I collected that's still at my. That's like, in my parents, like, in my childhood bedroom.

[Ramy Youssef]

Mmm.

[Dave]

Like archives of, like, Slam magazine. Old, like, VHS. VHS and one mixtape. VHS Home 1. VHS Home Alone 2. It's obviously because my parents are hoarders, but there's another component to it, too,

[Ramy Youssef]

which is, like, stuff so sweet that

[Dave]

I've still legitimately, like, kept.

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah.

[Dave]

Old newspaper clippings when I first was doing comedy. And then, like, the local newspaper wrote about it.

[Ramy Youssef]

Wow.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Ramy Youssef]

Local paper goes so hard.

[Dave]

Local paper.

[Ramy Youssef]

Local paper is so much cooler than New York Times.

[Dave]

Hundred thousand.

[Ramy Youssef]

Like, when both have occurred, you kind of go, give me the local paper.

[Dave]

Davis Enterprise.

[Ramy Youssef]

I'm always. Give me the South Burgeonite. Yeah, dude. South Burganite articles.

[Dave]

Hey. Hey.

[Ramy Youssef]

You got a lot of, you got

[Dave]

a lot of pride in being a Jersey guy.

[Ramy Youssef]

Oh, dude, absolutely.

[Dave]

So you rep Jersey hard.

[Ramy Youssef]

North Jersey.com has been by my side.

[Dave]

So you. John Stewart, Cal Penn Vanguards of being Jersey guys.

[Ramy Youssef]

I, I, I like, really got to have a heart to heart with Cal Penn. And I said to him it was so important to me that Cherry Hill, New Jersey was, was in that, you know, Harold and Kumar go to White Castle. That as a kid, that was the most representation. I saw Brown guy at a New Jersey White Castle. I thought that was the peak.

[Dave]

Okay.

[Ramy Youssef]

Arguably. Still is.

[Dave]

Still is.

[Ramy Youssef]

I don't know that our work has even gotten close.

[Dave]

So look, just so everyone's aware, I'm not walking him into this. He's repping this guy.

[Ramy Youssef]

Repping.

[Dave]

Let's do New Jersey trivia. What famous airship disaster happened off the New Jersey coast in 1937?

[Ramy Youssef]

What?

[Dave]

Bro, this is one of the easiest historical. I went to public school in California and we learned about this. What is this?

[Ramy Youssef]

Like, Amelia Earhart, 1937.

[Dave]

What, in the first year? Fucking college dropout. You're not, you don't know the answer to this. It was a huge explosion. It's used as a punchline often. Please get this right.

[Ramy Youssef]

Pearl Harbor.

[Dave]

The correct answer is the Hindenburg. Oh, that was Jersey. It's the blimp dog, bro. It's the blimp dog.

[Ramy Youssef]

That was Jersey.

[Dave]

Yes. Jersey, dude. Hey, anyone who says that satirists are the smartest people on planet Earth, please just understand there's basic US civics that we're not getting. Right here. 8th grade US history. We're failing. Okay, multiple choice. Here we go. What fast food chain started in New Jersey as a hot dog stand in 1946, but now it is a huge coffee enterprise.

[Ramy Youssef]

Mm. It's not multiple. You said multiple choice.

[Dave]

I'm not. I'm not gonna give you multiple choice.

[Ramy Youssef]

Oh, it's not multiple choice. Yeah. It started as a hot dog stand,

[Dave]

but it's a huge coffee chain. There's, like, two options here, bro.

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah, I know. I'm just like, I don't think Dunkin had.

[Dave]

Dunkin Duns.

[Ramy Youssef]

Dunkin had hot dogs.

[Dave]

Dunkin Donuts started New Jersey as a hot dog stand in 1946.

[Ramy Youssef]

Cause I remember Dunkin being Jersey. I just didn't know about the hot dogs. And then also, like, I feel like Ben Affle and Matt Damon have tried to take Duncan.

[Dave]

It's a very mass thing. Yeah. It's a very massive thing. Yeah.

[Ramy Youssef]

They really.

[Dave]

Let me just say, for. In. In defense of New Jersey, when you drive around New Jersey, there's two things that y' all should take claim on, which is there's a shit ton of Dunkin donuts.

[Ramy Youssef]

A lot of Dunkin.

[Dave]

And storage unit facilities.

[Ramy Youssef]

A lot of storage, a lot of garbage, and also a lot of trees.

[Dave]

Yeah. So I'm a fan. I'm a theme park fan. I love theme parks. Growing up in California, theme parks were the shit. What 1980s New Jersey water park, infamous for its dangerous rides and personal injury lawsuits, was featured in a 2020 HBO Max documentary. It's a very popular 1980s theme park in New Jersey where people were getting hurt all the time.

[Ramy Youssef]

I'm not caught up on my HBO Max documentaries, man.

[Dave]

But you may have heard Jersey lore. Cause I look in Cali, we would always hear about, like, the kid who died on the wooden coaster.

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, we.

[Dave]

Which kind of made me want to ride the coaster more.

[Ramy Youssef]

We only went to. We go to Six Flags, or we would go to Wildwood, but we never went to a water park, man.

[Dave]

So it was called Action park, and the documentary was called Class Action Park.

[Ramy Youssef]

Clever.

[Dave]

Okay, so did you ride Kingda Ka? Did you?

[Ramy Youssef]

Kingda Ka was incredible.

[Dave]

You know, it's closed now.

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah. All right. The best thing that I ride now is Space Mountain, because I can't. I think when I was a kid, I could Loop. I can't loop anymore. I get vertigo.

[Dave]

Oh, so you did the Joker. You did the Joker ride and you can't do that anymore. So the joker rides crazy because you spin while you can't do that.

[Ramy Youssef]

Vertigo for.

[Dave]

Yo. What was.

[Ramy Youssef]

That'll set me back.

[Dave]

What was kingda ka like?

[Ramy Youssef]

It was incredible. Epic. Dude, that was. That was like, you know, I promised

[Dave]

my son I was going to take him on kingda ka.

[Ramy Youssef]

That was one of those two, though, in Jersey where people go, you're going

[Dave]

to die on Kingdom.

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dave]

When did you first go on? At like, high school. You, like, went on kinda in high school.

[Ramy Youssef]

Maybe even like seventh, eighth grade.

[Dave]

Damn.

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dave]

Tallest coaster in the world.

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah, yeah. It was crazy. Crazy. That was like. I think it was before high school. I think it was like eighth grade.

[Dave]

Who'd you ride it with?

[Ramy Youssef]

Just the guys. I think it was a birthday party. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was. That was so fun. Six Flags birthday parties.

[Dave]

Incredible. Yeah, yeah. Did you guys have the thing in Jersey too, which bring two Coke products and you can get in for five bucks?

[Ramy Youssef]

No.

[Dave]

So. So in Great America and Six Flags in California, it's like during the summer they would have these ads where they're like, bring two cans of Coke and you get in for $10. It was that.

[Ramy Youssef]

Wow.

[Dave]

So my mom would have four cans of Coke and be like, all right, child care for the day. Go. Me and Aisha would just go to Six Flags all day.

[Ramy Youssef]

Just run around.

[Dave]

Yeah, yeah. True or false? Every baseball used in the major leagues is rubbed with mud from New Jersey.

[Ramy Youssef]

True.

[Dave]

It's true.

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah.

[Dave]

It's known as Lena Blackburn Baseball rubbing mud. This substance removes the slick glossy finish from new baseballs to improve pitcher grip and control.

[Ramy Youssef]

Wow.

[Dave]

That's fire, right?

[Ramy Youssef]

That's really cool.

[Dave]

That's dope.

[Ramy Youssef]

It's super cool. Yeah, that's really cool.

[Dave]

True or false? The state song of New Jersey is the old New Jersey.

[Ramy Youssef]

Nah, it's false. I never heard that.

[Dave]

It is false. I pulled a Rami.

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah, that's not.

[Dave]

I totally made it up.

[Ramy Youssef]

There is a state song. Yeah, I made it up. Never heard it.

[Dave]

I think it's my body language that's giving it away.

[Ramy Youssef]

No, I just.

[Dave]

In 2025, how much was wagered on sports betting in New Jersey? It's in the billions. It's in the billions.

[Ramy Youssef]

It's in the billions.

[Dave]

Yes. Three over 12 billion. What? That's crazy. Oh, that's people just on just pocket gambling.

[Ramy Youssef]

And that's not even the underground market. It's not even underground because Jersey's got, you know, bookie culture. Yeah.

[Dave]

Wow.

[Ramy Youssef]

12.

[Dave]

12 billion.

[Ramy Youssef]

12 billion. Yeah. You know what's crazy about that was up is that we only have one sports team.

[Dave]

I know.

[Ramy Youssef]

We only have the Devils.

[Dave]

That is crazy.

[Ramy Youssef]

So to be spending 12 bills to be that flush. Gambling and sports gambling, basically on teams that you have nothing to do with. You're connected to no team other than the New Jersey Devils. And how many of those gambles are really about the Devils?

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Ramy Youssef]

Gotta be low.

[Dave]

None. Virtually none. By the way, shout out to Chris Christie. He's the one that legalized it. He's gonna come on the show. He agreed. What should I ask him?

[Ramy Youssef]

Chris is coming.

[Dave]

Yeah, bro. Chris Christie came and our booker, by the way, was like, do you want Chris Christie? I'm like, what are you talking about? Yeah, I want Chris Christie. Chris Christie is so Jersey. Chris Christie. Chris Christie's out of a safdie movie. He's out of a safdie movie of what they think the governor of New Jersey would be like.

[Ramy Youssef]

Are you gonna say that to him? Yeah.

[Dave]

Chris Christie, Rob Ford. There's certain political. That. There are certain political fixtures that are just, I believe, are characters in and of itself.

[Ramy Youssef]

What's he here to promote?

[Dave]

I have no idea. I genuinely have no idea. I don't know why he said yes. I don't know why he said, I don't know. Yeah, I mean, I don't know what any of this means, but what's also wild is that like this. This now has become some of the most compelling television that exists. Like, I've said this to the. I said this to the whole team that. That works here. I was like the. The Cat Williams Club Shay Shay interview.

[Ramy Youssef]

Oh, my God.

[Dave]

Is probably one of the best pieces of cinema. And I'm including the Godfather. What it means in its. Its beginning, middle, and.

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dave]

The tension that. It's some of the.

[Ramy Youssef]

And also the prophecies that have come true since.

[Dave]

Correct.

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah, I would see that if they put it out. Limited theatrical predates. Put it out.

[Dave]

Put it at.

[Ramy Youssef]

Drop it. Yeah, put it at.

[Dave]

I pick Alamo Drafthouse. Yeah, yeah, I'm there.

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah, I'm there. It's really good.

[Dave]

It's very good. Very good. I think it's at 96 million views right now. Might have. Might have broken over 100. That's the full, like three hour, three hour plus joint. I've rented back, watched it twice. It's. It's. I mean, it's truly nuts. Dude. What's going on with the drones in New Jersey? Mm. Because I had Governor Phil Murphy come on, and I. And I showed him the footage of the drones.

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah. What he said.

[Dave]

People are cap. This dude was evading and dodging left, right, all over the place. Now, I didn't grill him too hard because I also was shooting a feature in Jersey and I needed the tax rebate.

[Ramy Youssef]

Yes.

[Dave]

So I didn't want to go too hard, but I was like, now we're wrapped and picture locked.

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah.

[Dave]

I'm going to say he ducked and dodged the question. How are you feeling about the. Have you seen these? The videos that people are posting from specifically New Jersey about the drones and the orbs?

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah. It's. There's these things flying around, there's lights. And then there was also this Obama interview where he kind of just goes, there's aliens. Kind of casually. Yeah. And then starts talking about something else. And he goes, you know, I don't think it's what they tell you. I don't think that there's. Whatever. And he goes, but there's other life and whatever.

[Dave]

And then he's like. And then Medicare. You're like, wait, what?

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah. And you guys start talking about some other stuff. Yeah. Yeah. And so everything feels. I'll tell you this. New Jersey, there are people there who believe in the Jersey Devil, Like a creature that lives in the meadowlands. We have these huge marshes. There's all sorts of things in there. And some people actually believe that there are extraterrestrial beings living in those marshes. Also famously, you know, mob burying grounds and that kind of stuff. But that's the place that I grew up in. So I grew up in. The aliens are not in UFOs.

[Dave]

Oh, that's the marshlands.

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah, those marshlands right there.

[Dave]

Oh, shit.

[Ramy Youssef]

That's how we grew up. No, the alien is probably right off the side of the highway. That's that smell.

[Dave]

This is a huge realization because basically Jersey has a little bit of that Florida energy to it. Yes.

[Ramy Youssef]

No, no. Weird New Jersey is a thing. You know, Chris Gethard was all in on weird New Jersey.

[Dave]

Right. I just want to do a quick fact check real quick, though. Fun fact. And this is a. This is not even a fun fact. This is a fact check. The New Jersey Devil is technically a demon, not an alien. Just want to let you know that.

[Ramy Youssef]

What would you say is the line between demon and alien?

[Dave]

Demons generally, in my opinion, gravitate to and are affected by gravity a little bit more. So they're terrestrial. They're on the ground.

[Ramy Youssef]

Right.

[Dave]

So demons, Chupacabras, Bigfoot.

[Ramy Youssef]

That was incredible pronunciation on Chupacabra there.

[Dave]

I grew up in California, so I got put on. Wow. Yeah, I got put onto the Chupacabra a long time ago.

[Ramy Youssef]

But the way you said was really cool. I'm not gonna offend the culture.

[Dave]

I'm not gonna offend the culture. Yeah, yeah. But I was like, I see what you guys are talking about. You guys talking about jinns, demons, ghosts, Kardashians. I get it. They are terrestrial, 10 toes down. Beings that.

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah.

[Dave]

Can walk around your home.

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah.

[Dave]

Edifice, whatever. Aliens are more of the Independence Day, Will Smith saucer. Flying saucer type vibes. They're more flying intergalactic beings.

[Ramy Youssef]

You don't think these guys are in communication with each other?

[Dave]

Yeah, I feel like these are two different types of. These are things.

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dave]

Maybe they're cousins of each other.

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah.

[Dave]

But I'm not on that Men in Black alien stuff. Like I'm wearing a skin suit. No, Like I'm on the real. Like, if they are, they're hitting it the same way. You and I, when we're on tour, we hit Earth as like ord. You know, the way you stop off in o' Hare and then you keep it moving like that.

[Ramy Youssef]

Right, right.

[Dave]

In my opinion. I don't know. But what do I know, right?

[Ramy Youssef]

They're just here doing the.

[Dave]

What did you call it?

[Ramy Youssef]

A portal.

[Dave]

Switch. Transfer. Portal.

[Ramy Youssef]

Transfer Portal.

[Dave]

Transfer. Portal.

[Ramy Youssef]

There you go.

[Dave]

By the way, fun fact. Governor Murphy pardoned a guy who killed a 76 year old grandfather in a hit and run. His father, Joe Jacobs, is a Democratic power broker and raised money for Governor Murphy's wife, who had a failed Senate campaign. Gross.

[Ramy Youssef]

Phil Murphy called me when I won the Golden Globe.

[Dave]

Oh. To congratulate you.

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah.

[Dave]

That's cool.

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah. He called and he said, you gotta come film in New Jersey. And I said, have you taken him

[Dave]

up on this offer?

[Ramy Youssef]

Not yet, but. Cause I said, dude, the tax incentive's not there. And he said, I'm working on it. And then he did it, bro.

[Dave]

It is there now.

[Ramy Youssef]

It is.

[Dave]

It is there.

[Ramy Youssef]

So this was in 2020. So he called me and he was, you gotta come. And I said, dude, I want to, but, you know, I'm getting the tax break in New York. And he said, I got you. And then he did it.

[Dave]

Damn.

[Ramy Youssef]

But I haven't filmed there. I just did it.

[Dave]

He did make it happen. He did.

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dave]

It's like 30 it's like something like 28, 30%.

[Ramy Youssef]

Yeah. Yeah. So, I mean, that was kind of part of my time.

[Dave]

That is a weird pardon, and that is a insane, weird thing, but it's also very Jersey. It's a very Jersey Mafia thing. He was literally, like, 15 minutes away from being out of office. Or this dude was about to. About to get sentenced, Right. And then the lawyer pulled it up, was like, no, no, no, we got the pardon came through. That was it, bro. Have you subscribed to Lemonada Premium yet? You can listen completely ad free and get access to exclusive bonus content you won't hear anywhere else. Like my discussion with Malala on how therapy changed her life. Or my convo with Mel Robbins on how her let them feel.