Healing + Human Potential with Alyssa Nobriga

Episode: Authentic Confidence: 4 Steps To ATTRACTING What You Want

Release Date: October 21, 2025
Host: Alyssa Nobriga

Overview

In this compelling solo episode, Alyssa Nobriga breaks down how to move beyond fleeting, externally-driven confidence and embody deep, authentic confidence rooted within. Drawing from her experience as a psychotherapist, transformational coach, and coach trainer, Alyssa unveils a four-step inside-out process designed to help listeners transcend imposter syndrome, self-doubt, and the drive for external validation. She emphasizes practical, psychology-based tools—intertwined with spiritual wisdom—for manifesting the life you truly desire by freeing your authentic voice and stepping into unapologetic confidence.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Problem with "Conditional Confidence"

[00:00–07:40]

• Misconceptions about Confidence: Most people believe confidence must be built or achieved through external successes (job, relationship, wealth).
• Conditional Confidence Trap:

  “If something gave you confidence, then ultimately it can be taken away.” – Alyssa Nobriga [02:00]

• Societal Myths: Cultural messaging says you must first change your circumstances to become confident, but this leads to insecurity and anxiety when those circumstances change.
• Lasting Confidence: True confidence is “already within you,” just overshadowed by old, limiting beliefs.

Authentic Confidence—An Inside-Out Approach

[07:41–10:30]

• Redefining Confidence:

  “You don’t need to find your voice. You already have a voice. You just need to stop worrying about what other people think when you use it.” – Alyssa Nobriga [09:35]

• People Pleasing Doesn’t Create Connection: Adjusting yourself to avoid criticism only leads to self-betrayal.

The Four-Step Framework for Authentic Confidence

Step 1: Become Aware of Your Thoughts and Question Them

[10:31–19:30]

• Thoughts Create Feelings: Insecurity is a result of believing negative internal narratives.
• Practical Example: Insecurity about speaking up often hides thoughts like, “Everyone else is smarter than I am.”
• Questioning Thoughts:

  “They’re just thoughts. They’re not facts. They’re just old programs, often from childhood, still running in the background.” – Alyssa Nobriga [13:25]

• Powerful Question: Can I know, without a shadow of a doubt, this belief is true? Would I bet a loved one’s life on it?
• Research Highlight: Positive affirmations can backfire for low self-esteem; finding real evidence is more effective.

Step 2: Secure the Insecurity—Somatic Acceptance

[19:31–28:00]

• Don’t Suppress It, Feel It: True confidence comes from allowing insecurity to be felt in the body, without resistance.
• The “Game of Opposites”: Avoiding insecurity increases its power; welcoming it diffuses it.
• Practical Exercise: Breathe into insecurity as a physical sensation, setting aside stories or images.
• Safety First: Ensure a sense of safety before feeling intense emotions; seek professional support for deeper traumas.
• Case Study:

  Alyssa shares a story of a client who confronted her fear of public speaking. By facing the underlying terror (a fear of rejection) somatically, she not only overcame the fear but discovered a passion for speaking and a new career direction. [26:15]

Step 3: Emotionally Embrace the Insecure Part

[28:01–33:30]

• Insecurity as an Inner Child: Treat that part of you seeking validation as a scared child needing comfort.
• Reparent Yourself:

  “The insecure part of you is just that, it’s a part of you, not the whole of you.” – Alyssa Nobriga [29:05]

• How to Meet It: Don’t try to cheerlead; instead, emotionally witness it with phrases like, “I’m sorry that you’re hurting. You don’t have to do this alone. I’m here, tell me more.”
• Becoming Internally Resourced: This is about nurturing and validating yourself—external validation becomes a bonus, not a need.

Step 4: Create a Success Journal

[33:31–38:00]

• Retrain Your Brain: Instead of focusing on flaws, systematically track daily successes—big or small.
• Daily Practice:
  • Write 3–5 things you did well each day (e.g., spoke up, set boundaries, acted courageously).
  • Focus on things within your control (actions, not outcomes).
• Benefits:

  “This is a simple practice that will retrain your brain to notice the evidence and your confidence as well as your capabilities.” – Alyssa Nobriga [36:25]

• Real-Life Results: Clients using this process have started dream businesses, left toxic relationships, set boundaries, and created authentic connections.

Application & Call to Action

Integration in Daily Life

[38:01–end]

• Pick One Area of Insecurity: Apply the four steps (awareness, somatic acceptance, emotional compassion, and success journaling) to transform it.
• Take Aligned Action: Even a small, brave action (sending an email, starting a difficult conversation, making an ask) cements new confidence.
• Transformation Requires Practice:

  “Knowledge without application is just entertainment. And transformation happens when you take what you’ve learned and put it into practice.” – Alyssa Nobriga [40:20]

Final Wisdom & Inspiration

• You Are Already Confident:

  “You don’t need to find your confidence. You need to free it. You don’t need to become different. You just need to remember who you already are underneath all the insecure thoughts and feelings.” – Alyssa Nobriga [43:25]

• Become Magnetic: Your authentic self naturally attracts aligned opportunities and relationships.
• The World Needs Your Voice:

  “Here’s to experiencing the freedom and power that comes with being unapologetically confident in who you truly are.” – Alyssa Nobriga [44:10]

Notable Quotes

• “Confidence is the difference between going for your dreams and staying stuck.” [01:08]
• “Trying to please everyone means you end up pleasing no one and then ultimately betraying yourself.” [09:50]
• “Insecurity is just a feeling. It’s not a fact.” [20:10]
• “How you treat the insecure part of you impacts your life in profound ways.” [29:15]
• “When you consistently apply these steps, you embody a confidence that’s reflected in every area of your life.” [38:30]
• “Real healing is a change of behavior.” [40:10]

Timestamps for Important Segments

| Segment | Timestamp | |---------------------------------------------|------------| | Introduction & Conditional Confidence | 00:00–07:40| | What Authentic Confidence Actually Is | 07:41–10:30| | Step 1: Awareness & Questioning Thoughts | 10:31–19:30| | Step 2: Somatic Embrace of Insecurity | 19:31–28:00| | Step 3: Emotional Embrace & Reparenting | 28:01–33:30| | Step 4: Success Journal (Retraining Mind) | 33:31–38:00| | Integration: How to Put It All Together | 38:01–end |

Tone & Style

Alyssa’s style is compassionate, encouraging, and practical—grounded in psychological theory and spiritual wisdom. She weaves in personal stories with client examples, offering gentle but direct calls for self-compassion and personal responsibility for transformation.

Summary Takeaway

Alyssa Nobriga’s four-step framework offers a practical, deeply healing pathway from insecure striving to grounded, authentic confidence. This confidence arises not from external achievements, but from befriending your own inner landscape—questioning old beliefs, welcoming uncomfortable emotions, nurturing your “inner child,” and building a habit of self-recognition. The episode closes with an invitation to take action: choose one area of life to apply the process, reinforcing that real confidence—and real change—emerges only when you practice the tools in your daily life.