← Healing + Human Potential
Healing + Human Potential
The Hidden Ways Trauma Affects Your Business + How To Overcome It | EP 97
01:01:46
What if the challenges in your past were the very things that set you up for the life you’re meant to live? In this episode, Dan Martell, a serial entrepreneur and multimillionaire, shares how his troubled past — including time in prison...
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- [00:00]
Alyson Abriga
Welcome back to the Healing and Human Potential podcast where today we're exploring what becomes possible when you break free from.
- [00:06]
Dan Martell
Playing small and lead with more clarity, purpose and trust.
- [00:09]
Alyson Abriga
We're specifically going to be talking about how do you use business as a personal development path and how do you practically scale with alignment so that you have more freedom. Joining us is Dan Martell, a nine figure business owner, five time founder, investor and author of Buy Back youk Time. And his life is living proof that.
- [00:27]
Dan Martell
No matter where you're starting, it's never too late to to build a life.
- [00:31]
Alyson Abriga
That you are proud of. I'm so happy to have you on, Dan. I want to just start off by sharing with everybody that I read your book within a matter of days and I start a lot of books, I don't finish a lot of books. So it says a lot to me between the value I got, how applicable it was to me. So I just want to say thank you for the work that you were doing in the world. And I know that you have a lot of success. You've got a lot of, you know, success, but also freedom. Freedom with impact, freedom with time. And I wanted to have you on because you also value doing the inner work and some of the mindset shifts as well. You've had this incredible career and you also mentor and coach a lot of entrepreneurs and sometimes people can get really stuck in blame. And I'm just curious, in terms of your experience, has there been a lesson or a hack that people can do internally to really help them be more successful or something that really changed the game for you?
- [01:26]
Dan Martell
That's such a great question. I love it. Well, honestly, it's an honor to be here. As I was mentioning, you know, I spent a lot of time with this thing called AI that everybody seems to have on the tip of their tongue and they can't stop talking about it. And yeah, it's powerful. But what I've discovered for me is that just because you give me a clear path doesn't mean I take a step towards it, which is fascinating to me because then we got to go to the mindset. So when I look back on my journey from, you know, colorful childhood is how I like to jokingly talk about it. But obviously going to prison twice by the time I was 17 had an impact on me, I think. You know, you talked about accountability and blame. That would probably be the biggest thing. I remember when I was in rehab, I was 17 years old and when I first showed up, I was mad at everybody. I was mad at My mom for the way she raised me. I was mad at my dad for not being around. I was mad at the counselors for the way they talked to me. I was mad at the prison guards for the. The situation. I was mad at the city I grew up in. I was blaming everybody. And I think one of the things that's beautiful about the program, I did 11 months at this place called Portage. It was a therapeutic community. We essentially read the Morning prayer is what they called it. And it was a combination of a lot of stuff like serenity, prayer, and a few other things. And it was. I accept that I am my situation. Like, just the idea of repeating that, that I created my. The. The. The world I live in is the one I created. And I have to accept my situation, whether it doesn't make it right or wrong. It doesn't make that this person's decision. You know, obviously it impact me, but I went from being a pissed off, angry kid to somebody that realized that if I want to be happy, there's only one person that's going to make me happy, and it was me at 17. So this is a crazy part, because people meet me today and they're like, you're really good at this. You're really good at that. Why do you think, you know, were you always like that? I'm like, no. But I know where I learned it. And it's wild to think how much the business stuff that I do today was impacted by the 11 months of rehab that I had the privilege. Privilege of going to, like, wouldn't change a thing. Grateful for the experience was definitely hard. Almost got kicked out three times. But that's where I learned that there's this locus of control. It's not something they told us because I think it was a little too advanced for us. But I learned later on in life, and today, on a daily basis, I pretty much remind myself to control the controllables. I can't control the tariffs. I can't control how team members respond to situations. I can't literally, I can't control. I can't control my kids. I can just reinterpret the meaning or the story that I tell myself. And that's probably the freeingest thing in the world.
- [04:23]
Alyson Abriga
Yeah, I would agree. And I. You know, it sounds like even in your childhood, going to anger was a protection mechanism. A lot of the time when we don't feel safe, if you consistently felt angry, it was because it worked, right? You got your voice heard in some way. That was a way to look for Safety. And so it worked in your family system, but then it wasn't working in other systems. And so share with us a little bit about your story just so people have a picture of what's possible for them, too, because I think that they think that their life defines them, their past defines them, that they can't do it. They've missed opportunities. And really, your story of pain and challenge and what I'm hearing from you is what sets you up for success and being intentional about creating the life you have.
- [05:06]
Dan Martell
Stuff. Yeah, it's kind of wild looking back, because when I share it, a lot of people kind of can't believe if they see. They see my relationship with my brothers and my sisters, say, and my parents. I mean, I got diagnosed with ADHD when I was 11. I got put on Ritalin at a very young age. I always remember the neighborhood kids, the parents treating me like I was different. Like, I was. Like I was. And I. And I was like. I mean, I can't deny the fact that, like, I was the one that always got the other kids in trouble. So, you know, knowing what I know now, if my kids were hanging out with a group of kid, a kid that was always getting, I'd be like, hey, let's stop hanging out with them. But, man, I used to have to hide in the woods just to play with my neighborhood friends, you know, 11, 12, 13 years old. So. And then the anger thing, you're 100% right. I didn't know how to feel heard or seen. And I knew. And again, I learned this later on in therapy that when I got mad and I'm talking like, I think people sometimes, I'm assuming most people get to this level of anger at least once or twice or maybe three times. Maybe some people live in all the time. But I used to get so mad as a kid that it was. I wasn't there. Like, the Dan that's here was not present. It was pure rage. It was. I see red. Everything needs to be broken. Everybody has to feel my pain. I don't want anybody to feel safe. And. And that's honestly why my parents eventually had to call the police and have me put in. Into the system. I went to a crisis center first for two weeks and then a group home or I went into a foster home. And eventually I got kicked out of the foster home. I was the first and last kid this foster dad, Dave, ever got. I was a little wild. And then I end up in a group home. I turned 13 in this group home hanging out with people 16, 17 years old that had just gotten out of juvenile detention teaching me stuff I definitely should have been learning. So that was the upbringing. And then I got turned in. I got introduced to drugs and that's, that's the spiral. Like one thing about me is I have an addictive personality. So I don't play video games, I don't gamble, I don't drink, I don't. There's a lot of stuff I don't do because I know me. Luckily, I founded, you know, in many ways as a therapist you can appreciate this, like the difference between me and the person that's homeless on the street. It's actually quite small. Like the. There's an adaptation. Mine was just positive, right? I. I eventually went down a different route, whereas I could have easily adapted to the pain in a different way. And, and what happened and where things changed is I ended up getting in a high speed chase, almost took my life and got sentenced to two years in prison. It was an adult prison, even though I was a juvenile, just because I of my background and previous crimes at that point. And I got in a fight in jail and thrown into the whole solitary confinement. And on the third day the door opened and there was this guard named Brian standing there. And Brian pulled me aside and brought me into the guard unit, which he wasn't supposed to. I'd never been, I've been there for six months and we'd never seen the inside of the one way mirrored glass in the, in the cell block. And he sits me down and he looks at me and he goes, what are you doing here? And I remember as a 16 year old, I'm like, well, I got in high speed chase. And he goes, not that. He goes, what are you doing here? And I'm like, well, I got in a fight with Kurt. And he's like, not the fight. Dan, what are you doing in this place? I've been working here for like a decade. I've seen hundreds of kids and like I see you and it makes no sense to me that you're in this place, like you don't belong here. And he goes, you got to do whatever you can to get out of here. Maybe for the first time, maybe somebody had said it before, but I don't remember any adult ever kind of saying that to me. And he saw, he saw potential in me when I didn't even think, feel like I deserve to breathe. The arrow is taken. And that that was the beginning of the seed of the Dan is always bad. Dan is always getting in Trouble. Dan is a troublemaker too. Maybe I'm not. Maybe I'm just. I haven't been put in a situation to win or succeed and maybe I'm not that bad. And you know, a few months later I got released to that rehab center and that was where the journey kind of shifted. So it's kind of nuts. And even crazier than that is today, if you follow me on social media. You know, the thing where I made my wealth was in software. I learned to code at 17 in rehab. So it's like when I say I'm grateful for all of that, I can't even imagine. I get out of rehab in 1997 and discover this little thing called the Internet. And that's what allowed me to build and exit companies in my 20s that allowed me to live this incredible life where I fly around on my own jet and build companies with incredible entrepreneurs and write books that people seem to enjoy. It's.
- [10:18]
Alyson Abriga
Yeah. And the. One of the things I really love about your story is that the power of one person truly seeing you beyond all of the behavior underneath all of that to really connect. And so I just want to highlight, not to overlook the power of one person in our lives, whether it be.
- [10:34]
Dan Martell
The power of belief and it's. I didn't. I kind of refuse the knowledge or knowingness of that for a long time because I didn't want the responsibility today. Not only did I lean into it, I mean a lot. A lot of the motivation for me to create the content I do is to be that person for other people. If not in person virtually, but even in person. Like in two days, I host this monthly event called Kings Club where I mentor young men, 15 to 20 year old young men that are struggling life that want to learn from me and I teach them the how to be. It's funny because like I teach them, I use the make money thing to attract. I called the chocolate broccoli. Like the chocolate is, do you want to get rich?
- [11:19]
Alyson Abriga
I do.
- [11:19]
Dan Martell
This broccoli is let's talk about being a great person and changing your situation. Exactly. So you know, in many ways that one conversation with Brian for me 28 years ago has turned into me being the Brian for hundreds of thousands of people at this point. It's kind of wild.
- [11:37]
Alyson Abriga
Yeah. And that ripple effect that happens as you change your life, but it starts with you and you really heard it. And bless Brian for all that he's done and all of us, the ways that we really get to connect and see people and we do the work within ourselves first. I know as a psycho, having worked as a psychotherapist, I work more in coaching now. But I know like emotional intelligence and healing work is my jam, but I love mixing it with entrepreneurship and business. And I don't think people talk enough about the correlation between your pain and how that shows up at work. That, you know, as you scale your business, so you scale your patterns. Like if you have patterns of control, trying to do it all, you know, not trusting people or just like fear.
- [12:20]
Dan Martell
Of abandonment, like just so many things. It's wild.
- [12:23]
Alyson Abriga
Yeah, nobody really talks about that because I think people really get the carrot of like, when I make more money, those things go away. It's like, no, those things get bigger. As you get bigger and your company gets bigger, it really does reflect in your teams in the way that you're living your life. And so for somebody that's in a growth phase right now, how do they recognize when their patterns are, what the real issue is in their company and like, what's a shift they can do to help get more clear so that they don't unconsciously perpetuate that in their teams and in their work?
- [12:58]
Dan Martell
It's such a great question. You're really good at this. You know, my, my, my mind wants to go to the five Time Assassins, which I talk about in my book, because I think a lot of us thrive in chaos. I know I, I still do. Like, I know my happy place is when there's problems around me that I feel qualified to help and solve and resolve. The risk is when you're unconsciously creating those problems.
- [13:29]
Alyson Abriga
That's right.
- [13:29]
Dan Martell
And that's why I had to write that chapter. But what my heart wants to talk about is this concept that I've been playing with called the trauma trust barrier. Because you kind of talked about it. All business problems are personal problems that show up in the business 100%, period, full stop. Like, I always joke with my team, like, business would be easy if it wasn't for people. And it's like so true. And business, you know, it's kind of the double edged sword because it's only fun because of the people. Right? And, and what our teams and, and customers do for us is they show us who we are. I mean, I think that's why, like, if you're really, you know, in tune with your, your partnership and you know, your marriage or whatever, like that's, that's what your partner does for you. Right? So when I think of how to identify where my work to be done Is I always look at the. The roots of the fruit, because if I keep. It's funny. Like, the other day I was talking to a friend and she's on her third marketing hire. And I said, have you identified the pattern? And she goes, what pattern? I said, well, there's a common denominator. Like, there's three people that are no longer in your life, but there was one person that's consistent in those three, you know, projects, and it's you. I said, so have you, like, figured out why you continue to hire the wrong person? You know? Well, I didn't think I did. Well, you'd be surprised. Let's talk about. And what she found out was she was scared to hire somebody knew more than her because then she wouldn't know how to manage them. So it was safe for her to hire a marketing person that she could lead, which made her the bottleneck, which means she'd always have to. The person was always being told what to do, which mean the marketing person didn't have the autonomy and the ability to do the thing. And that's the trauma trust barrier. And. And in that same vein, I'm talking to my other friend, and he's got to downsize his business, but there's seven people he doesn't want to let go. And these seven people have been with him for 14 years. And when I said, well, out of the seven people, out of the team of 20, you got downsize everybody. Like, who's the top performers? Those seven names didn't come up. And I was like, I think you keep them around because it's safe, not because they're the best person for the role and because it allows you to never worry. Because essentially he was paying them all six figure jobs. So how could they leave? They would never get paid that anywhere else. He was the person that was supporting their life, and he. It never occurred to him that it had to do with the fear of abandonment. And I thought that was just such a obvious thing. When I'm sitting back looking at the pattern and he's like, oh, yeah, maybe. I'm like, no, that's like. I said, what would be the worst case if you hired somebody that was really competent and then they left you? And he's like, well, that wouldn't feel good. I said, I know, but it would be the end of the world. Well, no, that might be a better solution to finding somebody to fix the business.
- [16:41]
Imagine having a fulfilling career doing what.
- [16:44]
Alyson Abriga
You love, working from anywhere in the.
- [16:46]
Dan Martell
World, setting your own hours while making Good money and a big impact. If that lights you up, then I'm.
- [16:52]
Alyson Abriga
Super excited to share with you.
- [16:54]
Dan Martell
Today's sponsor, the Institute for Coaching Mastery. This is my robust, accredited, year long certification program for newer seasoned coaches, therapists, leaders and those just looking to up level their life in a profound way. We have an amazing community of students from all around the world who have really started their journey to expand with us both personally and professionally. And this experience is designed to give you the three things that you need to thrive. So first, you have all of the tools and support you need to move past what's been holding you back so that you can completely change the trajectory of your life. And then you learn how to masterfully and confidently facilitate transformation with your clients or your team, regardless of your niche. If you want to do health, business, relationship or you just have no idea yet, we hold your hand through that. And then lastly, you'll receive my six figure and beyond signature roadmap that's customizable to meet you wherever you are. So whether you want to do high ticket sales, online marketing, or you just want to hit six figures without ever needing needing to go on social media.
- [17:56]
Alyson Abriga
We'Ve got you covered.
- [17:57]
Dan Martell
And this truly is the most rewarding.
- [18:00]
Alyson Abriga
Work in the world.
- [18:01]
Dan Martell
We have new students now who have a wait list of dream clients in under a year. We also have seasoned students who are doing $80,000 months. And this is really about creating lasting transformation from the inside out so that you can share your gifts and serve the world in all the ways that you're called to. And I've seen firsthand the power of what happens when you have have the community to collaborate with, but you also have the right tools and resources to really thrive.
- [18:27]
Alyson Abriga
And so whether you want to do.
- [18:29]
Dan Martell
Your own personal development, you're wanting to become a coach, or you're just looking for a cutting edge approach to really grow your business. The Institute for Coaching Mastery is for you. You are held every single step of the way. And so if you want to get behind the scenes access to the institute with three proven transformational tools for free to help you create the business and life you love, all you have to do is go to alyssinobriga.com tools or you can find us at alyssannobriga.com apply now to see all the details and apply today.
- [19:03]
Alyson Abriga
Yeah, and that the business is just going to keep reflecting back. I really did. There was a point where I thought, I mean, I'm masterful in the inner work and how that reflects in the outer Work. And I genuinely had myself duped thinking, but team's different. That if I. It's just about hiring the right person, quote unquote. And so I thought it genuinely. I couldn't see it with team until I started doing what you're saying, like looking at patterns, looking at what do I fear would happen if I had what was ideal and then I could see what the alternative payoff was for, why I was continuing.
- [19:35]
Dan Martell
That's a great question. To get to the root of it.
- [19:38]
Alyson Abriga
That's right.
- [19:38]
Dan Martell
You frame that what would I fear.
- [19:40]
Alyson Abriga
Would happen if you got what you wanted or said in another way. Yeah. It's like if I got the perfect marketing person. I fear.
- [19:49]
Dan Martell
And then I like that language of ideal. There was. The way you said it just from my heart was like I could get to that place and go, oh, there's. Now there's a gap.
- [19:57]
Alyson Abriga
Yeah. And then you listen deeply. So it's from the subconscious, not from your conscious mind, which is only 5% of change comes from your conscious mind. So you gotta really listen silently inside. What do I fear would happen if I had my ideal? Fill in the blank. And then just. You have your own answers. It's just about unpacking that so you can hear your own wisdom. Yeah.
- [20:17]
Dan Martell
And so good.
- [20:18]
Alyson Abriga
I think Gabor Amate says that entrepreneurship is a trauma response.
- [20:23]
Dan Martell
Yeah. That's what I was saying earlier about like my adaptation to my situation just caused me to find a trauma response that was positive in this societal structure that we live in.
- [20:34]
Alyson Abriga
Yep.
- [20:35]
Dan Martell
And the difference between me and the person that's literally homeless on the side of the street is very thin. Like we're kind of cut from the same cloth.
- [20:43]
Alyson Abriga
Totally. And it. And. And I think one of the most powerful things that I've found in personal development work in general is obviously everything is a reflection of you. Your relationship, your kids, your health, your business. And if you look at it that way, like you're saying you're taking 100 respons for your life and your. Whatever your situation is as you shift it inside. And it's usually around feeling the thing we're avoiding, which opens us to the freedom that we deeply desire. So if we are avoiding failure, abandonment, rejection, whatever, the thing is, if we can stretch the capacity to feel that very thing, ironically, it opens us to what we wanted on the other side. But a lot of people have avoidance patterns, so they. They move away from unworthiness or failure. And ironically, when failure is fully met and you learn how to do it through emotional intelligence, it can move through your body within under two minutes, and you instantly feel a greater sense of confidence and capacity to navigate that feeling. You're not moving away from it and make bolder decisions. You're clear in your mindset. You're not dysregulated. So just giving people this sense, because we haven't talked a lot about it on the podcast, how these two worlds marry of business and somatic inquiry or emotional intelligence, because that's really where to me the unlock is.
- [22:01]
Dan Martell
Yeah, that is fascinating. I've never heard anybody explain the emotional intelligence side that way. That's really cool.
- [22:07]
Alyson Abriga
It's super powerful. And. And I know one of the things you're really passionate about is talking about how kind of some of our earlier structures of learning and systems set us up to learn in a particular way to avoid failure, to avoid taking risks. Talk to us about how those earlier on programs shift and show up as an entrepreneur later in life.
- [22:30]
Dan Martell
Yeah, I think when I was younger, because again, when you start off in this world and, you know, you don't have a track record of making good decisions, and eventually, you know, you go to a place where they talk about blind faith because, like, literally getting sober at first, you're just like, I don't even know if this is going to work. And they're like, you know, they say things like, you got to work the. The system for it to work, and you have to have blind faith. And, you know, even if you don't trust, just, you know, kind of act as if and all these things. So then I get out and, you know, I'm like, going to school, and I'm thinking about, like, okay, well, now I gotta get a job. But I just knew me, I'm like, I don't think. I'm like, I just don't see a world where I'm employable. Like, I'm too opinionated. And. And honestly, a lot of folks asked me, they're like, dan, did you always have the vision for the life you live today? I'm like, no, no. My. I was just trying to stay sober the first two years of getting out. Can I just please not relapse? Can I. Can I not break my mom's heart again? Can I? I mean, the second time, my dad. The first time I went to juvenile detention, he said, because it was so hard on him, he said, if you ever come back, I can't come visit. And the second time he didn't come once. And I was just like, I was so scared. And then, you know, I. I Just, I made a decision to, like, and it was actually a privilege because I. I meet. I mentor a lot of kids just through my social media and stuff. And, you know, some of them grow up with parents that are very like, you got to do this. You got to have straight A's. You got to go to university. You have to be a doctor, a lawyer. And I'm just. There's a lot of expectations on these. These young children, you know, And I'm like, don't. I had none. So I had the privilege that nobody had any. They were like, I really hope Dan doesn't end up dead or in a ditch. Like, that would be a win. So when I just. I remember telling my dad, like, I'm going to go all in and do the business stuff, he did say, he's like, this could be the worst decision you ever make. And in the same breath, he was like, as long as you stay sober, like, I'll be here to support you. And that's when I realized how this. This world of risk works, right? And these. The stories I made up about what's true. That's just so not true, you know? So, like, my favorite thing to do with young. Young entrepreneurs or people just getting going is just say, okay, let's. Let's pretend. Let's go. Worst case, like, even today, and I don't do it often, but, like, maybe a decade ago, I remember I was, like, really doubling down on some big moves. And, you know, I was. I was exposed, and there was a chance that if it didn't work out, I was gonna. It would have kind of toppled a bit. And I remember I was like, okay, what's worst case? I called my brother up and I said, hey, bro. Worst case, because my kids at the time were like, one and two, like, very young, just got married. And I said, worst case, if this doesn't work out, can I come stay at your house? It'll probably take me six months to get back on my feet. The cousins can hang out, the babies can hang out, the moms can hang out. Kind of sounds awesome, but I just want you to know that that might happen, but it probably won't. But if it did, it'd be good to know that I can depend on you. And he's like, not only is that awesome, and of course, but. But can I do the same for you? I said, what do you mean? He goes, I don't know, man. You really. He. He said, I. He admired the fact that I was willing to take that risk because he. He Felt like he was playing a little safe in his life and me saying to him, oh, a hundred percent allowed him. I think you'd have to ask him to then go. It feels good to know that my worst case scenario is literally living with one of my best friends, my brother, my other brother, and one of my best friends, and having our family spend six months together. It's kind of. After we set loud, we're kind of like, we should probably do that anyway. Like, sounds awesome. Let's go rent a house in Italy or something and bring the families together. But I. I just find that that's a. That's a really fun question, because in the answer, you can then go, would that be that bad? Or could you. Could you live with it? You know, like, a lot of the, the people in my world, they're all like these tech people that want to start software companies and they're thinking of quitting their job and go into an accelerator and, like, they give them half a million dollars day one. These are people that come from Facebook and Google. I'm like, your worst case is making a million dollars as a software programmer where you're already working. Like, I don't even think you think that's not risk. I don't see that as risk. Yeah, but I think that, that, that was the big takeaway for me when I started making decisions in spite of the fear, because that's what courage is. In spite of the fear, I still made the decision. And then on the backside of that, my worst case fear wasn't even plausible, Let alone. The worst case was something super tolerable. Then I was like, oh, and okay, well, let's do that again. Let's try that again. Let's, you know, like, what if I hire the wrong person? Worst case, I let them go quickly and kindly and professionally and, okay, all right, I'm not going to. I'm not going to sit on my. My heels and wait and not make a decision on hire. I'm just going to hire them, and I'm not committing to a year. It's like, some people, they're like, oh, my God, it's $100,000 hire. No, it's not. It's $8,000 a month, and worst case, you'll figure it out in 60 days.
- [28:14]
Alyson Abriga
And what I love what you're doing, though, is you're taking the drama out of it, and you're going to. The more of the practical facts so it's less of all this emotionality, and it's like, okay, let's actually break down the facts. What would happen and how bad would that be? But you're also willing to face it instead of avoid it. Because when we avoid something, it just gets bigger. People think avoidance works. It just postpones it. And so what I love that you're doing is you're going in your mind with a game to say what. What really would happen in the practical, and could I handle that? Could I face that and is it worth it? And then somebody can consciously make that choice rather than unconsciously hold themselves back.
- [28:51]
Dan Martell
Yeah, that to me is like, you know, my software background, left brain, first principles, thinking. That's all it is. It's just like, let's break it down to its actual parts and then just do that inquiry of, like, would this. Like, could you live with that? Like, what. What if, you know, I got canceled? Me and my wife have already talked about it. Just. Just because, like, I think I get 120 million views a month. So my audience has grown, like, wild. And when we started, she was concerned. She's like, what if you, you know, something surfaces and. And it puts you in a wrong light and then all of a sudden I'm married to you. And then blah, blah, blah. I was like, it's a great question. How about, worst case scenario, I go and I delete all my social media accounts and you and I get on the plane and we go live on a beach and we stay there until you feel things have settled down. She goes, that sounds like fun. Let's do that.
- [29:46]
Alyson Abriga
Anyway.
- [29:47]
Dan Martell
Exactly. I'm like, all my worst case scenarios are my vacations.
- [29:51]
Alyson Abriga
Yeah, I know. My plan B, what was more financial, was like, Bali was always Bali.
- [29:56]
Dan Martell
But.
- [29:56]
Alyson Abriga
Yeah, but I love that it's like, oh, I've thought it through and, and that you're. That you're meeting life on its terms. I do find that when people defend against something, even talking about canceled, like, when people defend against something, it gets bigger versus just being open.
- [30:11]
Dan Martell
Yeah. What do they say? What, you resist, persists, or something like that.
- [30:14]
Alyson Abriga
Yeah, exactly. Yeah. And so. And also, just a side note, just because my therapeutic mind from our conversation just a minute ago, if anybody would have seen me when I was working as a therapist that was underage. Typically you invite the parents in, so the. Usually the child is a reflection of the family system, also larger systems. So it's not just the one scapegoat child. It's also a systemic conversation. So, you know, anyway, just for people listening that think, like, my child is a. Is. Is really the problem it's bigger than that. And I love that. Literally the things that were the most challenging in your life have helped you.
- [30:53]
Dan Martell
They are my gifts. You know, man, I got really emotional. I don't know where that came from, but I know where it comes from because I was watching a tick tock and I'm going to pull it up because I want to say it properly. And it was Stephen Colbert and I think it was Anderson Cooper was interviewing him and he said, did you really say this? And he reads the quote that he said and what he said, I literally just. It struck me. He says, did you really say that? That the worst things that have ever happened to you were gifts? And he said, I did say that. He said, this is it. Word for word. I've learned to love the things that I most wish did not happen. What Punishments of gods are not gifts. If a, if it's a gift to exist, with existence comes suffering. I look at it that way. I can't appreciate how much gratitude I have for my life if I don't know and have experience the opposite. Like, it's, it's one of those things. It's a truth. It's a universal truth. It's the yin and the yang. It's the cold and the hot. It's to the depth I've gone down to the, the heights I can rise and I've done. When you say did the work, I'm talking. I still do the work. I don't, I don't pretend I have anything figured out. I don't want anybody to think like, oh, this is the way it is. No, I' I call it strong opinions. No. Yeah, strong opinions. Loosely held or often wrong. Never in doubt. Because I can convince people I know what I'm talking about. But at the same token, if you gave me some evidence or data to support a different perspective that I felt made sense, I'd be like, yeah, that actually sounds better. So I just. I learned a long time ago that my mess could be the most powerful message that I have. And it took me 15 years. Most people don't know this, Alyssa, but I didn't share my story of what I went through as a teenager for 15 years because I was embarrassed. I was. I had a lot of shame around it. I didn't want to, you know, air dirty laundry and have my brothers and my sister and my parents have to deal with stuff that they were hoping that we could all forget. But I was still for years, ever since I got out of rehab, every year, twice a year, I'D go speak to the kids, the new kids that were coming through the program. And after 15 years of doing that in secrecy, I just felt like I don't want you to think you know me if you don't know me. And there's a part of me that I'm not ashamed of. I mean, it's not easy for me to relive or talk about, but I'm proud of who I've become. And if you know that part of me, I think who I am makes a lot more sense. And that, that's why I'm very specific in the language I use to describe it, because it was a privilege.
- [33:48]
Alyson Abriga
And to me that shows the depth of work that you've done around it. And so if there's somebody listening, they're going through a hard time and it doesn't feel like a privilege yet. It just means that there's a little bit more tending to your heart and that's it and you can get there. And I also just honor your courage to share it. Not only because it takes the shame and the stigma off, but also because it's of service, because everybody has something that they're ashamed of or that they, that was challenging in their life. And you have such a powerful story that I think it serves so many people by your courage to share it. So I appreciate you in that.
- [34:20]
Dan Martell
Thank you.
- [34:21]
Alyson Abriga
Yeah. And, and you know, speaking vulnerably, one of the things that has been most challenging for me as an entrepreneur has been team. I think Google wrote a book about something about the company of Google and most of it was around team is what I've heard. And I, I have really gotten to see that the patterns. I was the youngest and my family, I self appointed myself as the one who would take care of everyone. So I learned to override my needs to take care of my family. And then how that has reflected in my business. So I have forgotten my own needs in support of my business's success. And that is life is so friendly in the way that it gives feedback so that I can course correct and learn again and again and again. And there are times for growth and entrepreneurship and I just want to, at least for me, it was really important to marry entrepreneurial growth with the inner work because it has made it so much easier and quicker and more graceful. And it doesn't mean that it's ever done and I don't ever want it to be done because I, to me it's like these are the goals that I, that I love so much is Growth and service, part of core values. But for, for somebody listening to this who is feeling like inspired to take risks and, but really feels overwhelmed with either drowning in bills or taking care of their family and they keep putting their own needs off because when they have more time, then they can start the business or then they can prioritize themselves, what would you say to them?
- [35:55]
Dan Martell
Well, it's counterintuitive because the truth is if you don't become better, then you won't be better for others. And you know, I remember hearing somebody explain it best, especially in a relationship. They said, instead of being 50, 50 and meeting in the middle, how about I go work on being 100% better for me and you go work to be 100% better for you and then we'll be 100% better for each other. And I feel like the risk is you think it's selfish to put your own dreams, goals, priorities first. And in hindsight, and unfortunately sometimes it is in hindsight, unless you're willing to listen to people who've been there before, you'll discover that the best thing you could have ever done for the people you love the most is to actually put yourself first. Like, I know everybody is happier in the family, in our family, in my house, when my wife gets to go to CrossFit, when she gets to spend time with her friends, when she gets to travel, when she gets to, to express her feminine and do all the stuff that I know she will put on the back burner and sacrifice. If we as a family don't create the space and make her feel comfortable that she can go do that and we all win. It's like when I go away for a ski trip in the winter, I'm better when I come back, I'm recharged, I'm rejuvenated, I'm more focused, I've had time to think, I've got a bigger vision, I'm more fun to be around. Like, I think the fallacy that people have and I, and honestly I think it's self sabotaging belief, is that, you know, I gotta sacrifice now my own stuff for other people. And the truth is, is one of the best things we can do for our kids, especially if that's your reason, is to go be the best version of you. Like, I remember I was hiking the other day and this guy Jesse was struggling and he was having a hard time. He's 40 pounds overweight and he wanted to turn a situation around. He says, it's really hard because I have kids and I said, dud. You're using your kids as the excuse. You should use the kids as the excuse to do it. Like, kids don't hear what you say. They watch what you do. And I just think, like, if you don't have the time, it's not that you don't. You just don't make it a priority, right? So that's. That's the big thing. And it's why I'm so passionate about the concept of buying back your time and just trying to find leverage. Because if I look at, like, what is the process, right? Because again, I study internal family systems, parts work, like, you name it. I've studied it to try to understand my own psychology and to, like, understand my own values and. And why do I prioritize things like the. The recipe or the. The. The rhythm that I'm executing every day? And. And sometimes in an unhealthy way. So I got to catch myself. Is the idea that my time is fixed, right? We don't. When I say buy back your time, it's not true. You can't buy back your time. You can't buy time, right? You can create leverage. And if my time is fixed and my compensation or the way I create value in the world is directly proportionate to the ability to solve bigger problems, which is a skill, then I'm always trying to figure out if I want a bigger life. I got to become more because I got to be able to deal with bigger problems and to become more, I got to create the skill set to do that, which means I need the time to do it, which means I have to find the places to trade and. And the beauty. And that's why I wrote that chapter is a lot of. For a lot of people, it doesn't cost anything. It just. It might cost the social currency of putting your foot down. It might cost the awkwardness of the conversation because you're going to stop accepting people to treat you a certain way or ask you to do stu. That is not your job. To. Whatever it is, like, it might require to reestablish some boundaries. And that has cost. But I think most people create the prison that they live in. I mean, they just. You know, for a lot of women, I. I find it interesting that they hire a cleaning lady and clean the house before the cleaning lady shows up. That's interesting. Or, you know, they have a babysitter and they. I mean, my wife used to do this. I'm like, she would. Would hire the babysitter, she'd show up, and they Would talk for an hour. And I'm like, the whole point is for us to leave when she shows up so that we have the hour together. And. And you're paying to be her friend. It was wild. And, you know, those are a little thing. And I'm sure I have my own little quirks, but that's the big idea and the big misunderstanding for most people, I think, and I know I. I suffer with this for a lot, is that if I want more, the only way to get more is to become more, which requires time to do the work. And I need to figure out, either I renegotiate with people, I say no to people, or I take dollars and buy back that time by getting somebody else to support me in some of the work.
- [41:00]
Alyson Abriga
Yeah. And this just keeps reaffirming and highlighting the power of doing the inner work. Because you can't just change it from the outside in. It needs to be inside out first, because you can shift the strategy, but if you're still divided or that pattern.
- [41:11]
Dan Martell
Is still running a horror movie. I had a CL client. His wife was like, so not on board with having somebody in their home. Like, And I get it. That's like, that's a big deal. Like a stranger in your home. It's not like a cleaning person that comes for two hours when you're not there once a month. It's like, you know, we were. I was working with him because he had a big enough, you know, team and infrastructure and demand and desire to travel the world. I was like, you need a house manager. You need somebody that literally is a CEO of all the stuff that you're currently doing, your wife's currently doing. Put it in a bucket and hire somebody and give them the accountability to run all that stuff.
- [41:45]
Alyson Abriga
Like.
- [41:46]
Dan Martell
And he's like, really? And I'm like, yeah, dude. Like, you're allowed to hire people to do anything. He goes, I. I said, I only do one of two things. Spend time with people I love or do things that only I can uniquely do. Other than that, I. I mean, not to sound pompous, but I. I haven't washed my car, put gas in my car, dealt with all these things because I'd rather trade my capital because it could be in a bank account or it could be in your fancy new car, your BMW, whatever it is, or you can buy back your time. And his wife wouldn't be on board with it. And I. And I understood it because it's a real thing, you know, and then I told him to use this angle I said, ask her if she cares about creating employment in the city. Because I knew she did a lot of charitable work. And obviously her answer was yes. And she goes, well, then why are we being so selfish by not having people support us and create an employment with. And then he's. And, and he got her to like, finally, I think it was five hours a week or something. Come twice, cleanly come twice. This is three years ago today. If you ask his wife, her name is Margaret. There's no way in the world. I think he would have to go before she went. Margaret has become critical to the family. Started as a cleaning person, now takes care of the whole household, now is part of their family's lives, travels with them, supports all aspects of coordination. And I'm so pumped because I think that is the backside of doing the work. And again, it was an emotional response. You know, it's like when I teach people to delegate your email and your calendar. It's not the mechanics, although some people need the strategy and I, I give them that, but it's the feeling of the fear. Right? And I get it. All the stuff I teach, I went through it, learned it, did it. Wow, that works a lot better. And now I teach it the pressure. When you talk about somatic, what if somebody accidentally replies and embarrasses me to a customer, to a potential investor, or to a friend? Or what if my dad mess me something that they shouldn't have seen? Or something like it's all emotional fear and it has nothing to do with the mechanics.
- [43:47]
Alyson Abriga
That's right. And yes, it's like I always say that it's 80% inner and like just 20% outer. And so one of my methodology, I have a methodology where it's 5 levels of change, but literally 1/5 is the inner work is strategy. Some people do need that, but most of it's inside. And I noticed for me, because even in reading your book, I was like, okay, let me self receive more from team. But I couldn't do that until I understood that I had paired guilt with receiving.
- [44:16]
Dan Martell
That's interesting.
- [44:17]
Alyson Abriga
Once I saw that, then I got to really stretch and feel in my body the sensation of guilt so that I could breathe into and feel comfortable or more comfortable with it. So it didn't just have me work harder to prove that I was, I earned it or, you know, I deserved it, things like that. So some of the deeper psychology, just to give people a reference point, a lot of common inner blocks are people pleasing, self doubt, perfectionism, comparison, fear, failure. But at the Heart of it is usually around worth and so if people can have a framework I just want to share like just slow it down. Especially with the inner work. If you want to go faster, slow down to see what is the fear that's holding you back because once you get that then the practical things are a lot easier to implement.
- [45:01]
Dan Martell
That's interesting. Is there other attachments that you've seen? Like you mentioned a few. Like. Like the receiving with guilt.
- [45:08]
Alyson Abriga
For me it was and everybody's going to be wired a little bit different but I do think that that's a common one another. So my receiving and I felt guilt so I wasn't letting myself receive because I didn't want to feel guilt. But once I saw it then I could let myself feel the guilt consciously and then I was able to receive more easily.
- [45:24]
Dan Martell
Yeah, I deal with the people that judge people that have wealth and then realize their desire for more wealth is always going to be met with sabotage.
- [45:33]
Alyson Abriga
Because they don't want to be judged.
- [45:35]
Dan Martell
Yeah, exactly. So it's like. But it's subconscious. Like they don't even know to say it. But they do because they make comments about people that are rich and then I'm like, well yeah, if you think that, guess what, you'll never be it. Which is funny because you want to.
- [45:49]
Alyson Abriga
That's right.
- [45:49]
Dan Martell
And there's on your goals list. But then you're judging yourself towards the.
- [45:52]
Alyson Abriga
Actions and sometimes people will have blame be a way to avoid feeling what they are underneath the blame. It's like a surrogate feeling. So it's like I don't really want to feel abandoned or fear of failure. So I'm going to blame and that's more of a surface level. Or if people don't want to be seen because they think it's egoic and they judge that then they're going to really crave being seen in the world. Yeah, they're going to be. They're really craving being seen in the world. But then they feel guilty and then they stuff it down. It comes out in these sideways ways. So it's like really if somebody sees you and then compliments you learn how to really receive that. Because we want healthy integrated egos. Otherwise if you don't let yourself be seen or you don't see that part of yourself, you're going to be incredibly hungry for it. And then it comes out unconsciously.
- [46:39]
Dan Martell
So good.
- [46:40]
Alyson Abriga
Yeah. So there's so. And there's so much and I just want to emphasize the inner work married with the outer work and the outer work is just as important for me also. I just felt like you have such an engineer systems mindset that helps put things together. My brain is not oriented that way. And so that was a big part of getting reading your book. I was like, oh, wow. And you've got all these really beautiful, practical things that I want to highlight for people and encourage them to read the book. But one of the practical things is your rule, the 1080 10. Can you talk to us about that and how to use it?
- [47:12]
Dan Martell
Yeah, I mean, I used it today probably six times. Because the challenge for a lot of artists and creatives out there is when they hear this concept of, like, working through people and delegating more, but really, like, buying back your time. They worry that what they do is the magic sauce, right. And the fingerprint, and they're unique. And. And what I saw as a pattern among some of the most creative people in the world, from the Obras to Andy Warhol to Steve Jobs to a lot of the software Silicon Valley folks, is they spend most of their time in the two ends of, like, if there's 100% worth of effort, they spend most of their time in the 10% up front and the 10% at the end. The first 10% is the ideation. And that's kind of where I spend most of my time is working with different software teams and ideating kind of like the desired outcome or the next Sprint or roadmap or whatever we're building, right? And I think most entrepreneurs would probably agree, like, that's my favorite part. Then the other 80% is the execution. So first step is ideation, then it's 80% execution, and that's where you allow your team to go and build and create. So if you think of Steve Jobs, he comes into the design studio with Jony Ives, and they ideate around the future of the Mac and the future of the iPhone and this thing called the iPad. They just talk about it. And then Johnny and his team goes out and they prototype stuff and they go find new hard drives and new technologies and touch glass and all these things. That is the execution part. Now, the last 10% is the integration. That's where the artist can come back and add their unique touch, right? And for Steve Jobs, that was him with Johnny talking about how they were going to display it to the world and him doing the presentation for the events. That was his. His happy place. And that. That's where I spend my time, is two ends of the spectrum so that I can have people support me. But still feel connected to the work that I enjoy doing and in many ways just get away from the stuff that I don't enjoy doing. And in the same breath understand that 80 done by somebody else is 100 freaking awesome. Because that is also a big belief that people are like, why didn't it get done the way I, I want it done? It's like, they're not you. They don't have the context, they don't have the skill set, they don't have the vision. How about we be super grateful that they showed up and helped you build your goals today? Like, I think most business people are just so self centered and they should just be a lot more gracious and have empathy for the team because like all the stuff I've ever built, there was other people involved and I, I wake up going, I'm so grateful that they decided to come to work today to help me build this thing because if they didn't, I'd have to do it all myself. And that feels hard for some reason.
- [49:56]
Alyson Abriga
You saying that reminds me of like what were our models of power growing up? Because I think a lot of the times with authority figures that can be projected onto our power dynamics. So I learned a lot about power over or power under. And that's another way that we want to heal so that we don't unconsciously project onto our boss or project onto our team some of these power dynamics. So we do come into a place of not only harmony, but gratitude and working cohesively as a team. So another just thrilling thread that I'm pulling.
- [50:25]
Dan Martell
So cool.
- [50:26]
Alyson Abriga
And I, so I've been using the 10, 80, 10 and that's been helpful. My team's like, okay, help me define what the top 10 is because. And I think of that like as a visionary, right? And then you've got your implementer. So. But there's one that I also love that I've been implementing is the 1.
- [50:40]
Dan Martell
3, one that's the one that'll change your whole life.
- [50:43]
Alyson Abriga
Tell us all about it.
- [50:44]
Dan Martell
You know, if you build a big enough team, you realize that decisions start to slow down, right? When it's five people, feels good, cohesive, we're on the same page. We all can kind of finish our thoughts and our sentences and it's just, it's really fun. You get to 25, 30 people, it gets slow, it gets firefighting, it gets scary, right? Because it's like a lot of unknowns. Like I wonder what that team's doing over there. And what I've discovered is the Best way to work against that is to make sure that we push decisions down to the people that have the most context to solve the problem. Okay? Because even me, if somebody that's, like, dealing with a department, they come to me. I don't have the context, I don't have the history. I don't have the dynamics of the people. So my thoughts are very black and white, and it loses the essence of what they might be dealing with. So the 131 helps with that. And. Because the other thing is you teach people how to lead. So if you teach people when they have a problem to come to you all the time, then they'll always come to you all the time. And if you're not available, the problem stays a problem until you get back. Which means that nothing gets done if you're not around. Which means when they hire and lead their team, they do the same thing. And then all of a sudden, you've got a bunch of bottlenecks kicking around because, you know, that's why they call them bottlenecks, because they're at the top. So I remember one day, my HR director, Adam, he just joined the team, and we were doing some planning, and that quarter, we had to hire, like, 12 new people in 90 days. And he'd never done that before. So after the. To me, and he's stressed out, and he goes, hey, Dan, I need your help. And I said, what's that? He goes, I don't. I don't know how we're going to do this. I said, do what? He goes, Hire 12 people in the next nine days. I mean, it takes me two, three weeks to write the job description. And then I put it out there, and I gotta create pipeline and interview and test project all this stuff. And I go, oh. I said, okay. He goes, what should I do? I was like, well, Adam, if I tell you what to do, I feel like I'm doing your job. And I'm pretty sure I hired you because you're the HR director to do that work. And he's like, well, no, no. I mean, I'm gonna. I'm gonna be the one to do it, but I don't know what to do. And I said, well, do you have a one three one? And it was funny because he had been trained on it, but he was like, this is the first time he interacted with me on it. And he goes, do I really have to do that? And I was like, yep. So I said, how about we just meet tomorrow, same day? You think you'll have Time between now and then to kind of figure it out. He said I should. Next morning, 10am, he texted me. I'm good. So what is the one three one? The one three one is a simple philosophy. That one, you have the person clearly state the problem. Because, you know, just like humans, sometimes you're like, what are we talking about right now? I thought we were talking about this. And then you went to here and then we're there. So right off the bat, you ask them, what's your one problem you're trying to solve that will take care of 50 of the challenges?
- [53:33]
Alyson Abriga
I'm hearing that right now. And I'm like, I'm going to apply that to my three o' clock meeting. Because I don't know that we're all even on the same page.
- [53:38]
Dan Martell
What problem are we trying to solve?
- [53:40]
Alyson Abriga
Great.
- [53:41]
Dan Martell
Let's figure out. What's the number? What's it at today? Where should it have been? Then we go to step two, which is the three viable options. Viable options. As any leader, what it does is it lets us know that they evaluated the different options. Because it's not that you don't care if people make decisions. You're just worried they didn't think about other stuff that might have been a better option. So the three viable options, you know, you can't say option three is do nothing. That's not a viable option. Viable options is, well, we could change this thing. We could hire this person. We can do this. Okay. And then the third is one recommendation. So the one recommendation is, out of those three, I recommend number three or I recommend number two. I recommend number one. My assistant did it with me today. She said, hey, I've got a challenge. Here are my three options. I recommend 2. 98 of the time. I go, sounds good. Now here's the beauty of this. Over time, people stop coming to you because they naturally will do the one three one. And it unblocks them from having to come to you, you. And then they do it with their direct reports, and then their direct reports start doing the same thing. And what happens is you have an organization that pushes the decision making to the people that can actually do it. Now, we have rules in our business like the 50 to fix it, which is if it's less than $50 to solve a problem, you solve the problem. You spend the money, you expense it, I'll always approve it. You just got to tell your boss. And at the individual contributor level, at the bottom, it's 50 and then it's 500. For leaders, it's 5,000 for C level or for directors and then 50,000 for C level. And then that way nobody ever feels like they're constrained to make a move and solve problems. And I just think the 131 is one of the most simple and impactful frameworks that we can have our teams operate under.
- [55:22]
Alyson Abriga
And it creates a self managing team so that you free up your time and then it's also offering them clarity, which gives safety. And then they feel more autonomous, they're not micromanaged, which also creates safety. And then they feel seen and acknowledged with the work. It's brilliant. I'm going to keep implementing it with my team. I think I just need to get more into the habit of it because. Yeah, but I love it. And a practical thing that I see for entrepreneurs that holds them back on a block is that they try to do way too many things at once. I think a lot of entrepreneurs love freedom. They get distracted by all the shiny objects. And so focus and follow through is really helpful before you pass it off to your team to implement, like really stay with it to get results. And something that you say that I'm just gonna quote you on because I know we're getting close to our time, but I love this quote that you talk about moving out of scarcity into a more expansive perspective where you talk about your energy, your frequency is what you frequently see.
- [56:20]
Dan Martell
It's actually on the wall just around the corner. It's that important to me.
- [56:24]
Alyson Abriga
Tell me more. I just find that I love how catchy it is. But it's so true. It's so true.
- [56:29]
Dan Martell
When I mentor these kids, I always just keep it as simple as, like, there's Mr. Happy Face and Mr. Grumpy Face and, and you know, who do you want to help if you got extra time? It's like, well, happy face. Okay, well, that's their frequency. The interesting part is the reason why they're happy is because of the way they look at the world. Both people could be experiencing the exact same situation. One is happy, the other one's grumpy. And that to me is, you know, why I, I'm not surprised when like beautiful, you know, serendipitous moments where I'm trying to connect with a person, they just magically show up in my life. Like the frequency is what you frequently see. So, you know, even I remember a long time ago I was working with like a spiritual coach and she was saying, like, in your relationship, in your marriage with my wife Renee, like, no matter what she does, if you just show up with pure love. Like, it was so wild because I'm like, okay, I'm gonna try it. So the next day, I'm sitting there, and she's probably annoyed at me for not picking up after myself. Something like that. And I literally, in my mind, look at her as if, like, we just started dating. Like, Jess. Pure love. Pure, pure passion. Infatuation. It was the. It was like magic. Twelve minutes later, she came over, laid next to me, gave me a big kiss and a hug, and I'm just like, how did that happen? And I really, truly believe that it's just the way the world works. I mean, anybody that has felt the presence of another person in a room, the energy, we all know we're connected. So it's like, actually use that to try to shape your world is possible.
- [57:56]
Alyson Abriga
Life is a mirror. So you smile in the mirror, and life will smile right back. It's that.
- [58:01]
Dan Martell
Exactly.
- [58:01]
Alyson Abriga
It's like, from the beginning of the conversation, to hear it all starts inside. Just in closing, I would love to hear, Dan, if there was one. One thing that somebody could take away from your work or from this episode that would really change the way that they lead or live their life, what would you want to say?
- [58:18]
Dan Martell
So most people struggle with letting go. It's kind of the. The essence of buying back your time. It's like, I know mechanically I should do it, but some people just don't understand what it looks like. So if anybody is like, hey, I need to work with my team better, or I need to hire an assistant, or I have a virtual assistant, but I just don't feel like I'm using them right. Find me on Instagram and just follow me, because then. Then I can message you. Because if you don't follow me, I can't message you and just message me. EA Playbook. Executive Assistant. Playbook. And I will send them a Google Doc. I just need to see it. If you just show it to me, then I'm like, oh, is that what it is? It's why, like, in buyback your time, I have a resource document. I have a big PDF and a bunch of templates and structures and best practices. But I feel like the executive assistant one will give people a glimpse. Like, even the way I do my North Star principles, you can start to think about to your point, like, what out of those items, like, ooh, that's scary. Like, here's my 10 out of 10. Okay. And this is wild. 10 out of 10. Letting go is having somebody else pack for you for a Trip and you just grab the bag and go to the airport. I know. That's how I let you live. That's my life.
- [59:30]
Alyson Abriga
Cool.
- [59:30]
Dan Martell
It's kind of wild.
- [59:31]
Alyson Abriga
Yeah.
- [59:32]
Dan Martell
My wife's not there yet. Yeah, it's possible. And, and, and it's just, you think about all the things that would have to be true for you to what you need to believe and the processes in place, all that stuff. But man, when you can start living life without the need to control so much, that's freedom. That's why it's not about money.
- [59:49]
Alyson Abriga
That's right. Yeah. Yeah. It's so beautiful. Thank you, Dan, for who you are and how you move through the world and just your generosity. So I know people I want to highly encourage, encourage, buy back your time. I loved the book. Also follow you on Instagram. I also do. And I love your content. Where else? What else? What can they do to stay connected?
- [60:05]
Dan Martell
My YouTube, I put out a lot of really like, I mean, I have a team, we spend a million bucks a year just producing content. So my YouTube I think I'm really proud of, got about 1.3 million followers there and all platforms. I take it pretty seriously because I understand the opportunity to support other people and teach them the things I've learned. But, but I would encourage everybody listening to do work with you. Yeah. You know what you're talking about. I, I do a lot of interviews and meet a lot of people, but I could tell just the depth and breadth of what you're talking about. And if anybody's listening has been on the sidelines and they're in your world and they haven't made the commitment and the decision, this is your sign.
- [60:42]
Alyson Abriga
Thank you, Dan. So grateful for you and just how you are in the world. What a gift.
- [60:46]
Dan Martell
Cheers.
- [60:47]
Alyson Abriga
Cheers.
- [60:48]
Dan Martell
Thank you so much for doing this work that changes the world, starting with yourself. It truly does make a difference. And if you're finding value in this podcast, a cost free way to support.
- [60:57]
Alyson Abriga
Us is by following us.
- [60:59]
Dan Martell
It does help us grow and we are so grateful. Leave a review on Apple or Spotify, submit a screenshot of that and upload it to Alysonabriga.com podcast as a thank you gift, we will be sending you one of the most powerful tools that.
- [61:12]
Alyson Abriga
You can use on any area of.
- [61:13]
Dan Martell
Your life to help you tap into your full potential so that you don't let fear hold you back from really stepping into your dreams. I have so much more magic I.
- [61:21]
Alyson Abriga
Want to share with you and I.
- [61:22]
Dan Martell
Cannot wait to do that soon.
- [61:24]
Alyson Abriga
But for now.
- [61:25]
Dan Martell
I just want to say thank you so much for being an example of what it's like to live with an open heart and mind in the world.