← Healing + Human Potential
Healing + Human Potential
The Most Powerful Somatic Tool + Guided Process | EP 78
00:21:29
Are you avoiding your emotions without realizing it? In this special episode of The Healing & Human Potential Podcast, I dive into the power of somatic work—giving you a practice that helps you release emotional and physical tension by...
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- [00:01]
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Welcome to this special edition of the Healing and Human Potential podcast. So, one of the main intentions I have for doing this podcast is to share some really practical tools that will help you more easily navigate your life. And having coached thousands of people over the years, I see a lot of people doing the work, but not really getting free. And so I want to give you an advanced tool and training here that can help you resolve the thing you've actually been struggling with your entire life. So here in this episode, I'll teach you briefly what somatic work is. And for those that don't know, my clinical degree was as a licensed somatic psychotherapist. So even if you know somatic work, what I'll be sharing with you is part of my body of work, so it'll probably be new for you.
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I'll share one of the deepest ways.
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That I've discovered using this work that I also teach in my certification program so that my coaches know how to powerfully facilitate it. Since it's that transformative. I'm giving you a taste of it here, but I need to set you up with how to use it in a safe and productive way so that it really supports you in navigating the winds of life, learning how to surf the wave versus getting tumbled by it. And then I'm actually going to take you through a guided somatic process that.
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Will change your life.
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If you do it regularly, it'll help you release physical and emotional tension in your body and access more peace and freedom in your life. And so I encourage you to listen to the guided part of this process for 30 days and notice how powerfully your life shifts. I also wanna encourage you to share this episode with a friend so that you hold each other accountable to using it as a daily practice, since one of the best ways to create change and to be consistent is in community. So whether we're conscious of it or not, we're often moving away from what we fear and chasing what we believe is gonna make us happy, accepted, worthy, and loved. But you might not have noticed that trying to get rid of unwanted feelings doesn't. It doesn't actually work. It kind of traps us. And there's nothing wrong with chasing desires and avoiding fears, but it causes suffering. So I want to make sure you have a different orientation to life if you choose to try it on. Because what I've discovered is, ironically, the last place that we would be willing or wanting to go holds the key to our freedom. I call this the paradox of transformation, because the very thing we've been avoiding, is actually the doorway to what we deeply desire. When we're courageous enough to face the things that we've been afraid of, we free ourselves from the power that it's had over us. So it's kind of the game of opposites. Let me ground this for you. So if you want to feel confident, it's through embracing insecurity. If you want to feel worthy, it's through embracing unworthiness. If you want to feel free, it's through embracing feeling stuck. And if you want to feel connected, it's through embracing loneliness. So again, the game of opposites, what you've been avoiding is the doorway to what you deeply desire. And so in this way, the energy that we've been avoiding, as it's welcomed and integrated into our nervous system, it's no longer driving the car unconsciously in our lives, making decisions for our businesses and for the rest of our life. And I love this framework from my meditation teacher, Adyashanti. He talks about freedom to versus freedom from. So freedom from is really escapism. So it's like I need this thing to get out of my life so that I'm free versus freedom. Two is real freedom. It's being free enough to meet all of life. It's saying yes to whatever arises in the moment, knowing that I'm free enough to navigate my human experience. All the thoughts, all the feelings, all the sensations. And so we can either try to manage and control things outside of ourselves so that we don't feel certain things, but then we feel anxious because we can't control what's outside of us. Or a more empowering way to live is to stretch the capacity to be with the range of our human experience and learn the art of letting sensations move through the body. And when we do it this way, it frees up all the energy that we were using to control and avoid, and it opens us to new levels of vitality, creativity and aliveness. Then we don't have to try to manipulate our lives to avoid feeling certain things, because we now know we're free and that we can handle whatever sensation arises in the moment. And so what if instead of running away from something, you turn towards it? What if instead of trying to escape it, you discovered the freedom of being with it? Real transformation comes by meeting life fully.
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Exactly as it is.
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And then no matter what's happening, we can access a deeper peace that doesn't come and go right. It's always available underneath the fearful thoughts and the fearful feelings as we meet them, with acceptance it parts the clouds so we can experience that peace that's underneath it. Plus, it's just a lot more intelligent to do because I don't know if you've noticed, but what we avoid, we actually create. Let me ground this for a moment. So let's take relationships. Let's imagine that there's somebody that is afraid of abandonment, and so they become really clingy, and then their partner feels smothered by their clingy behavior, and their partner starts to pull away. That creates the very abandonment that the person was trying to avoid in the first place. I'll share another example of what you avoid, you create, but in a sales context. So let's say somebody is avoiding pitching to work with them because they're afraid of rejection. And so they end up hinting at their offer because they don't want to feel pushy. And instead of confidently presenting their work, their potential client senses the hesitation and lack of confidence. And so that potential client is unsure about the value of the offer, and that leads them to say no, creating the very rejection that person was trying to avoid. Can you see that? So, to be clear, the goal of this work is to allow energy to move through the body versus what most people try to do is they either avoid it or. Or indulge it. And they avoid it by thinking about it or talking about it versus feeling it. But the body knows how to take care of itself. It knows how to move energy through. If we don't interrupt it with our mental activity, we just allow it to flow through. Or they indulge in it, thinking that deeper is better, they start ruminating in it, and it creates this, like, spin cycle, not becoming aware of what the thoughts were that were creating the contraction in the body in the first place. And neuroscientists have found that it only takes 90 seconds to feel an emotion in the body before it moves through. And so that means if you're feeling something longer than that, you're not allowing it to be in your body as pure sensation. And so that's the key, to feel the emotion as a sensation, not looping in the story. And so as we open to and allow this old stuck energy, it starts to integrate into our nervous system. We feel more present, we feel lighter, we feel more free. And then that's how you know it's working. And you can think of this like a teapot that's boiling. You want to open the top to let some of this steam out so it's not overflowing and feeling overwhelming, right? Just Bite size, opening to the sensation that you've been avoiding versus feeling really overwhelmed by trying to go for it all at once. And then over time, you'll be letting out the pressure and that tea kettle starts to settle. And so when life triggers you, you're just working with the present moment experience versus projecting all the repressed energy that you've projected from the past onto the present moment in addition. And so this is a practice, you want to be gentle with yourself. And I'm going to guide us on an experience in a moment, but I want to invite you to have a new relationship with the energy that's coming up so that you feel more empowered and whole as a result. And again, the work is not about controlling life so that we never feel uncomfortable. It's about developing the capacity to meet the discomfort without letting it run our lives. And this is the power of somatic work. It's not about fixing, it's about feeling. And when we do, we free up all that energy that was spent avoiding and we redirect it towards creating something that feels much more aligned and expansive. And so, just to give you some context about somatic work, it's also known as embodiment work. So soma means body. I find that somatic work is really helpful for almost everyone, but especially for intellectual people, because they have overdeveloped minds, as well as those who have been doing personal development work for a long time. Maybe they know all about their past, but they're still feeling stuck. And so I find somatic work is like this back door that bypasses the intellect, and it helps integrate this energy and you don't feel as stuck in the past. But I also find it's great for people who are anxious, fearful and stressed, since those are all activated by stories we create in the mind about the future. And so it helps you break the habit of consistently thinking by bringing your awareness into your body. Right? And that's the power of this work. So you don't need to know this story that helps you integrate this old stuck energy. So even as you're listening to this right now, just take a deep breath into your heart space. Feel your feet, feel your hands. So you're starting to bring your attention down into your body and really start attuning to what's actually here beyond the mind. And to set us up for the process I'm about to lead us through, I recommend working with a feeling or a Sensation that's a 5 to 8 out of 10 in terms of intensity level, so that you can really save the big stuff for trained professional. And so you always want to make sure that you're resourced, meaning you have some level of nourishment and safety before doing an advanced tool like this. And so I'll guide us through that in a moment. But I want to make it really clear, sometimes with somatic work, it can activate trauma. And so if you have big T trauma, whether it's diagnosed or not, meaning you can't hold the present moment with love, with presence, you always want to take care of yourself and work with a trained specialist versus doing a process like this that I'm about to lead you through. So you want to work with somebody who can hold and help you integrate that big stuff. You get to have that and there.
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Is support for you.
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And just to be clear, this isn't meant to replace working with a trained professional. And so as you go through the process I'm about to take you through, resistance might come up. That's totally normal. Welcome it. Create safety for it. There is wisdom in all of it. And if you're not judging it, you're not resisting resistance, which just adds another layer of resistance. You'll start to hear that wisdom. And so my invitation for you is to be like water. The goal isn't to get rid of resistance. The goal is to welcome and be with all of it. Resistance isn't bad. It's just trying to protect you. And so give resistance infinite space to be here exactly as it is, breathing into it and notice what happens. I'll share a quick story. So I had a client who I was working with, and she wanted to hide from some of the challenges that were coming up in her life, and she really judged herself for that. I had a blanket nearby, so I supported her resistance rather than judging it. And I gave her the blanket to hide behind. I told her it was really okay to just take as much time as she needed. And she looked a little confused, but she trusted me. And so she tried it and she just wept. She hid under this blanket. I told her to stay there as long as she needed to. And then ironically, it was only two minutes later, and she was like, I feel ready to come out now. And this was because the energy was seen and accepted. And so it moved on. And so she could see this energy just needed to be honored and allowed. And to the degree resistance or any other emotion doesn't feel received, it will defend both within us and with others. I'm going to say that again because I think it's really important so to the degree that an emotion doesn't feel allowed, it will defend inside of ourselves and in others. The principles apply the same way. And so when we learn how to work with resistance, everything changes. But I don't want to just talk about it and I don't want you to believe me. Just be willing to test it and find out for yourself. So I'm going to guide us through a process somatically so you can work with any block that may be coming up in your life or any stuck energy you feel in your body, if you don't know the story about it. Again, we're just kind of clearing out this dam, this reservoir of old energy, so that it starts emptying out.
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You feel lighter, more present and more free.
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And so if you're in a safe.
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Place to do so, find a comfortable position. Sitting or lying down, gently close your eyes.
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Allowing yourself to really arrive in this moment.
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Feeling the weight of your body resting, noticing your breath naturally moving in and out. There is nowhere to be, nothing to do. Just be here in this moment. This is your time, this is space to soften and to meet yourself fully. Just allow your mind to sink into your heart. Taking a nice slow deep breath in through your nose and gently exhale longer than the inhalation, relaxing your belly, your shoulders, your brow, and breathing in and out naturally.
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I want to invite you to bring.
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Your attention into into your inner body. Just feeling the sensations running through your hands and your feet in this moment.
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Noticing this percolating, alive energy that starts.
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To magnetize as you pay attention to it and notice in your direct experience right now, what feels peaceful? Where in your body do you notice a sense of safety or nourishment?
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Maybe you feel a sense of warmth.
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Around your heart, or you feel supported and held by the chair or the ground. And once you find that, take a moment to appreciate that sensation, allowing it to expand in your awareness, knowing that this is a resource for you that you can come back to any time you want. And if it's hard for you to find something nourishing, you can think of someone that you love. This could be a friend, a partner, a four legged friend. And just bring them to mind and feel your care for them. Notice what that feels like in your body to care for them. And as you place your awareness there, it will expand. And when you're ready, find a feeling that you've been avoiding or find a contraction in your body right now. Once you've identified it, just notice where it lives in your body. You might want to place your Hand there to help you hold presence with it.
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For a moment.
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Let's stop trying to get rid of this feeling or imagining our life without it. Let's stop pushing it out. That's never really worked anyway.
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And together, let's discover what happens in.
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This moment when we change our relationship with it. Notice what happens when you silently say this to this energy in your body right now, repeating after me, I'm sorry that I've judged you. I didn't know how to be with you before, but I'm learning to open to you now. Thank you for teaching me how to keep my heart open. Regardless, you can stay here as long as you want. Just breathing in, opening, allowing. So now let's drop in to get even more intimate with the sensation, letting go of the story, bringing curiosity and openness. Notice what size this energy is. Is it the size of a grapefruit or a soccer ball? Just not. Is it inside of your body or does it also move outside? Just breathing into it with curiosity. Notice if it has a color.
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See.
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If it's dense or or transparent. And just breathing into it as pure energy in the body directly in this moment. Just ask yourself, can I be with this energy just for right now? Allowing whatever's happening in this moment to happen, giving an infinite space to be here exactly as it is. Full permission, breathing in, letting go. And if resistance comes up in any form, maybe thinking, just meet that with acceptance, Fully allowing that too. You can ask yourself, can I make space for resistance to be here just for this moment? Notice that resistance is already allowed, even if you can't. Just relaxing back, Noticing this awareness that unconditionally allows all of it to be here exactly as it is. And if at any point it feels overwhelming, just come back to the nourishment. Breathing into what's alive in the body as pure energy.
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And when you're ready, you can go.
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Back to the contracted or avoided feeling bite, sizing it to digestible ways of being with it. Just breathing in and letting go. Noticing this open loving presence that already allows it to be here. You are this open loving presence that receives and allows all of it to be here without any agenda, any expectation. Allow yourself to embody and be that breathing, receiving, allowing and letting go. You might feel called to stay. Stay here a little longer. You could be feeling a deep sense of peace. Or you may want to allow this energy to become a new blueprint in your cells, in your body. But you'll know when the energy has been integrated since it will move on and you'll feel lighter and more present. But if you've been resisting and pushing down energy your entire life, it might might feel like it's getting worse for a moment, but know that it's just thawing out. Or if you don't feel lighter then it might be feedback that you were in your mind thinking about it versus allowing that and it's totally okay. Be gentle with yourself. This is a practice that you're invited.
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To do regularly, especially when hard emotions come up.
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This is a guide for you. There can be layers to this work, so just stay curious. Notice your heart that is already and always open and make sure to nourish yourself. Do something that fills you so you.
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Can call a friend, you can go on a walk.
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Anything that you know that fills your cup. This work only works when you balance, bringing light to some of the heavier energy, so no nourishment is incredibly important.
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And I just want to honor you for prioritizing yourself in this time to get free.
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May you move with softness and compassion for yourself, knowing that this is always a choice. May you trust the unfolding of your journey and may you know that you are freer than you think.