← Healing + Human Potential
Healing + Human Potential
Using Pain and Struggle as Your Greatest Strength - with Jim Curtis | EP 79
00:55:02
What if your biggest challenges were actually guiding you toward something greater? In this episode, I sit down with Jim Curtis to explore how pain, uncertainty, and even illness can be powerful teachers. Jim shares his personal story of...
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- [00:00]
Jim Curtis
I hate myself. I hate myself for having this disability. I hate myself for who I am. I think that I'm bad. I think that I'm guilty and broken. I feel so much pain in my body. I went after that with emotional healing, subconscious healing, and then energetic healing. And when I finally started to love myself again, all the pain went away in my body. That pain is teaching you something. It's bringing you somewhere. Whatever happens, it's going to be all right. Even if the worst thing happens, you're going to make it through. And so just allowing yourself to do that settles the inflammation in your mind, which lowers the inflammation in your body. We feel disconnected from our higher self and that's what's bringing in so much fear. We're living within the programs that we've created and once we kind of lower the friction of that and emotionally regulate, you can overcome any obstacle. You're a small shift away from everything that you do to make it an exciting life that is in alignment versus a life that struggle that things are happening to you. Something very specific around getting over the pain that you're in is to recognize that.
- [01:09]
Alyssa Abriga
Welcome back to the Healing and Human.
- [01:11]
Co-Host
Potential podcast, where today we're talking about trusting life's timelines, shifting from our unconscious thought patterns for emotional well being and how the spiritual context of life can support us in challenging times around our relationships, business and health. We're joined by Jim Curtis, who's an author, speaker, hypnotist and leader in national organizations like WebMD. And he's here to share with us practical insights and tools, including a self hypnosis journey that you can listen to on the podcast. So let's dive into it. I'm so happy that you're here, Jim, and it's so beautiful to connect with you and I wanted just to dive right in. I know that you've talked about that you can be in the right place at the right time and it doesn't feel like that. And I think a lot of people feel disoriented in their life. What did you mean by that? You can be in the right place at the right time and it doesn't feel like it. And how did you come to this?
- [02:02]
Jim Curtis
Yeah, I love diving right in. We're going deep quickly. Right.
- [02:06]
Co-Host
So I like it.
- [02:08]
Jim Curtis
That's how I like it too. So, okay, you're in the perfect place at the perfect time. It may not feel perfect, right? Because it couldn't be any other time. It couldn't be any other place or else you'd be there and therefore, you are exactly where you need to be. And even if it's painful, right. A lot of us are experiencing a lot of pain. Whether, you know, we start to think that we've done something wrong and it's not right, and therefore we're. We start to either feel guilty or shameful or. Something happening like this shouldn't be happening to me, you know, because I. I shouldn't experience this illness or this breakup or this financial crush. And how could I be at the perfect place at the perfect time? People came at me when I gave that TED Talk, and I'm like, guess what? Because you can't be anywhere else. And so this is the perfect place at the perfect time, even if it doesn't feel perfect, because that pain is teaching you something. It's bringing you somewhere. It's something. Your higher self, your soul, that connection. You are the energy of the universe, and it needs to learn something.
- [03:15]
Co-Host
Yeah, I love the term Earth school. It's like we're all this. There's feedback in all of it, and there are deeper lessons and who we become in the process of answering the call. And what I hear you say around the perfect time, it's like there's nothing else true other than what's being projected in your mind. And so this is to trust. The intelligence that holds the stars in the sky is also orchestrating your life.
- [03:35]
Jim Curtis
Yes, yes. It's the second part of it. There's a little bit of, you know, trust the process. And it's Earth school. And guess what? The curriculum is difficult.
- [03:44]
Co-Host
You also talk about synchronicities, and I think of synchronicities as a little wink from the universe, like, keep going in that direction. Talk to us about if there was maybe a sign that came into your life that changed the direction that you thought you were going in, or how people can trust the synchronicity that come into their life. Some guidance first.
- [04:03]
Jim Curtis
We have to really cultivate the awareness, right, that this is happening as a synchronicity, even if it is or when we're not in synchronicity. So Carl Jung said that synchronicities were unrelatable things that happen basically by. By chance, but seem to be lining up. That's not the exact paraphrasing, but, yeah, I wish I could quote like that. But these things that happen, and I would say, you know, what are the synchronicities that are happening? Let's be aware of them, let's look around, and the only way you can really see them is to be present and so present in this moment, this is happening. And I always feel like the synchronicities in my life are really simple things. And sometimes I simplify it. So much so that, like, if I didn't hit traffic and there's a parking spot out front and I walk in, like, on time with ease, then, like, I'm meant to be there. That's something as simple as that. But as it gets more developed, you can start to listen to your body, because your body and your subconscious mind is the first thing that's going to recognize the synchronicity because it already knows when it's in alignment. And so if you're trying to make a decision and you're kind of out here looking for the signs, like, where's my sign? Where's the crow flying? And is that there's an eagle at dawn? It's the synchronicity. Instead, just listen to your body, and if it feels like it's in alignment, then you're in the right direction.
- [05:30]
Co-Host
Yeah. Like building that trust in your body's intelligence and that attunement you're saying is being present to be able to hear it more clearly. Is that right?
- [05:38]
Jim Curtis
Yeah. I mean, yeah.
- [05:39]
Co-Host
And I know a big part of your journey has been around having an undiagnosed illness. And so you're talking from experience and really learning to attune to your body. I know that for people that are going through illness, and especially when it's chronic and undiagnosed, that can be not only isolating, but also really exhausting. Can you talk to us a little bit about how to navigate uncertainty during that time and share a bit of your story so people have a sense.
- [06:06]
Jim Curtis
Yeah. Just to start out, anybody that is dealing with an undiagnosed illness, I feel you. Or it hasn't been diagnosed yet, or you're trying to figure it out. I feel you. And the first thing that really comes up is fear and uncertainty. All we want to be is certain in life. We have the subconscious knowledge we're going to die and we don't know when. So it's already fear. So we're looking constantly for certainty, certainty, certainty. How can we find certainty? So anytime that something's uncertain in relationships, like inconsistency, dating is really hard. We just want to know. We want a certain amount of uncertainty, but then we want the certainty. So if you have an illness that has been undiagnosed and it's bringing up a lot of anxiety and fear, it's because you don't know what's going to happen. People often say, I wish I just knew that I had cancer because I wouldn't have to try to figure it out anymore. It would be it, and I'd know the next steps, regardless of what they were. And so settling the anxiety and knowing that we can be comfortable in the uncertainty and knowing that whatever happens, it's going to be all right. It's going to be all right. Even if the worst thing happens, you're going to make it through. And so just allowing yourself to do that settles the inflammation in your mind, which lowers the inflammation in your body. And I learned this firsthand because when I was younger, I woke up one day and I couldn't feel the shower on my left foot. I couldn't feel the hot water on my foot. And I was like, that's really strange. And I ignored it. And that numbness started to move up my leg, and it was moving up really rapidly. And so at that time, you know, what every young man does when he gets, you know, very quickly and shockingly ill, I. I called my mother. I said, you know, this is happening. My mother was an ER nurse. She worked with trauma victims, Boston City Hospital. So she was getting, like, gunshot wounds on the daily. And she was cool as a cucumber. Irish Catholic from Boston, like, did not get rattled. And she. I could. She was concerned. And I didn't know what that meant other than there was an issue. And so I went in and got MRIs and everything. And at that time, MRIs just of your spine that now take 30 minutes, took like three, four hours. And so I'm in this MRI machine just trying to figure it out. And it turned. There was a. There was a lesion on my spinal cord, and it was growing. Every time I get one, it was growing. It couldn't figure out what it was from. We did every test. I went all around the world, and it was growing and growing, growing. And my. I was getting worse and worse and worse. More pain, more illness, more numbness. Walking with a limp, not being able to walk, until finally I woke up and couldn't walk at all. This is what happened. I had an identity change. And my identity as a really strong body, first macho man had to change, and now I needed to step into vulnerability and I needed help. And my identity started to change. And I went around the world. I even wrote a book on this called the Stimulati Experience. I went around the world seeking out both medical healers and spiritual healers, shaman grandmasters of kung fu, Ecuadorian healers all over the world. And what I start to realize is that we are much bigger than our bodies. We are much bigger than our illnesses, our problems. We are far greater. And we are an energy that never. It's always persists. It's never. It's never removed. You know, when our bodies die, this energy will still be there. It's beneath everything. It makes up everything. We are not a body. We are a spirit in a body. And so as I started to kind of get my head around this and go to these healers, I started to realize that I had some real pain and trauma that was creating a really difficult life. And if you believe that the pain and trauma was not only from this life, but it was from past lives. And I even got to work with Brian Weiss, many lives, many masters, who kind of kicked me off into hypnosis. And so it got worse before it got better. But what I finally came to is that I could love and accept myself whether I was dying or whether I would never walk again or. Or I was completely healthy. And no matter what happened, I'd be confident enough to know that it's one way or another, it's going to work out. And so I was now walking again. So I got myself to a place where I was walking again through a combination of western, eastern medicine, But I was walking with a really bad limp, and I could only walk a block or two. And I had so much pain in my body, so that was the next step in my healing. So I had to focus. Okay, what is it that I'm shaming myself for? That I hate myself for that. I move away from anybody with a physical disability. I want to get so far away from them, or if you're ill, if you have cancer or whatever it is, I want to get so far away from you. What is it about me that that's happening? It's like, oh, you know, I hate myself. I hate myself for having this disability. I hate myself for who I am. I think that I'm bad. I think that I'm guilty, I'm broken. I feel so much pain in my body. And so I went after that. I went after that with. With emotional healing, subconscious healing, and then energetic healing. And when I finally started to love myself again and realized that whether I walked with a limp or not didn't matter, guess what? All the pain went away in my body. And I still walk with a limp. I have no pain, no pain in my body. If I. I see you on the street and you're walking with a limp, I go out of my way to get to you. This guy dropped off a car for me in LA because I'm staying in la. And he wasn't in the same place as I was, but he walked up to me and he was walking with the same kind of limp I had, exactly the same. I knew it was a foot drop. I knew it was wrong. I'm like, buddy, how are you? What's happening? You. We walk the same. What happened here? He's like, oh, I jumped into a pool. And like, but. And he was not happy to talk about it. And I just wanted such a hug, like. I immediately fell in love with this guy and gave me the car and, like, and left. And I was like, oh, maybe I went a little too far with that. But I loved him so much. And I was like, oh, I'm. I've really reached a place where now I can help the world. And I know that you can reduce your pain. Anybody listening, by first recognizing that you're not wrong and that if you're in pain, that's okay, you're not doing it wrong.
- [13:15]
Co-Host
So many beautiful nuggets in that. So it sounds like a direct correlation with the. Your body starting to have more mobility through the acceptance, whether you had mobility or not. Is that what you're saying?
- [13:28]
Jim Curtis
Yes, I did have more mobility through the acceptance. Right. What I realized is that when I was inflamed in my mind and heart, when I had inflammation of my mind and heart and not physical heart and not, you know, the. Not my brain, when I had fear, trauma, sadness, self loathing, I had a relationship with a woman that was really a difficult relationship. And whenever we would get into a fight, I couldn't walk. Literally couldn't walk. I'd go right back, I wouldn't be able to walk. And I realized that when I was healthy in my relationships with myself and with other people, I lowered the inflammation of my mind and my heart, that literally my pain would go away and I'd be able. I would be 10 times more mobile and then I would start to exercise.
- [14:14]
Co-Host
The more I do this podcast and the direct correlation with not only everything being an inside job, but we can't choose if we are walking or not. Some level of that not being up to us. But we can choose how we hold it. We can choose to be compassionate with ourselves regardless. We can choose to open our hearts to even our closed hearts or to find a deeper acceptance even if the ego isn't accepting. I could talk about essence and ego. So if the ego is Saying no to something, just noticing that there's a larger awareness that already accepts and allows. And the more we tune into that, open the aperture of that larger perspective. There is a piece that's always here underneath the thoughts of resistance or againstness. And it softens us.
- [14:53]
Alyssa Abriga
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- [16:12]
Co-Host
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- [16:13]
Alyssa Abriga
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- [17:15]
Co-Host
I'm curious in terms of, like, Western medicine and Eastern medicine and the law of entanglement. I know you talk about the three of those things and how those relate together before. Just to start us off, like, what? What is the law of entanglement for people that don't know? And then how do you see those worlds coming together? And how do we use that for challenging times?
- [17:33]
Jim Curtis
I love everything that you said this. That's why I wanted to be on this podcast, because you take the coaching to the next level with the practical and the spiritual. Yeah, And I agree 100%. That's. Entanglement is a quantum physics term that's based on our research test that they did that combined two protons, I believe it was, and they became entangled. When they split protons and move them to various distances apart, they would test to see if they stimulated one, would the other react. And although they were no longer entangled, they were separate. They would stimulate one, the other would react. And not only in the same room, miles apart. And so we believe that we are separate in this world, that you and I are separate, that we are separate from our joy, the energy, of happiness, from the money we want. We believe that we're separate from all these things. Then we have to strive to go get it. And this idea of the law of entanglement, or just entanglement from quantum physics is that perhaps we're not as separate as we think. At the very core of what we are, we're energy all the way down from our cells to atoms. And atoms are made up of energy. And that energy is free floating. So basically, we're just kind of put together by energy into this body. That energy exists everywhere in the world. It's putting together everything else. So I always explain it as a sheet. So you have seen the movie I Heart Huckabees?
- [19:01]
Co-Host
I think I have, yeah.
- [19:02]
Jim Curtis
All right, everybody, if you haven't seen I Heart Huckabees, it's like Dustin Hoffman and Mark Wahlberg. You have to see it. Anyway, Dustin Hoffman puts a sheet over onto his two hands and he pokes his fingers up. He's like, this is you and this is a tree. And here are the two things in the sheet, right? And he has fingers poking up out of the sheet. And it's like, are they separate or are they one? And we start to think that they're separate, but really the sheet is connecting all of us. And that is this idea of the quantum or spirit or God or whatever you want to call it, and that we are entangled in just about everything. And so when we stimulate one thing, another thing reacts. And that is kind of the lesson of life.
- [19:49]
Co-Host
And I want to see how we can use that for navigating life's challenges. And it kind of comes back to the first question, which is like, if we're here to evolve in consciousness, we're here to open our hearts and minds more fully, to wake up to the truth of who and what we are, then the illness or different experiences that we go through can be used in service to not only our healing, but also awakening, if we choose to use it that way. And so knowing about ancient wisdom, modern science, quantum entanglement, like, how do we just. For people that want to be able. Or maybe they're even just stuck and they're listening to this and they're like, really either going through an illness or breakup or have some block that they're currently working with, what would you say? One thing that they can inquire into to support them in having more peace in their life.
- [20:35]
Jim Curtis
Something very specific around getting over the pain that you're in is to recognize that this is not happening to you. There isn't some benevolent force that you've done something wrong and you're being punished, right? That this could potentially not only be happening for you, but through you as you to learn something that either now or in the future can be used for you or to help someone else. And so know that you didn't do it wrong you one way or another. Sometimes I say you'll survive, but maybe you won't, right? But that's okay. You'll wake up into spirit as well, like this. There is one way or another. This is for you, in a sense of if you believe that our energy never is destroyed, and so it's neither created or destroyed, it just always is, that means that we have always existed and we always will. And so if you believe in my man, Brian Weiss, which is many lives, many masters, and many others that say that as a soul we become higher evolved, that means that as a soul, an energy that always existed has decided to come here and have this human experience. And therefore it decided to experience the tests that we have. And those tests sometimes are painful, but they're also beautiful. Like, there's also beauty in there. So rest assured that it's by design that your soul may have chosen to have this terrible breakup so it could feel the pain. So that you could either learn something and grow when you return to that spirit, or just so you could feel pain.
- [22:28]
Co-Host
One of my spiritual practices is to stretch the capacity to be with the range of my human experience. I think a lot of people with emotional well being, people or emotions people will avoid or indulge. There's like two camps. And so rather than doing either of those, really allowing the energy to come up without. And even if it's just for 90 seconds, right? We know now that neuroscientists say that you can feel an emotion fully for 90 seconds as a sensation, and it moves through the body. We have 90 seconds. And so if I feel loneliness, if I open to that, ironically, it moves through, and then I am open to a piece that's underneath it or a presence that's underneath the feeling. Because feelings come and go, thoughts come and go, actions come and go. But there's something that doesn't come and go, right? The context of life. And so ironically, by what you were saying earlier is by accepting whatever this moment is presenting itself as fully with an open heart, open mind, curiosity, acceptance, presence, it parts the clouds to feel that deeper foundation of well being that is always here, that we can learn to tap into, but it comes through. It's like love that's unconditional. It says yes to grief and joy the same, sadness and happiness the same. And I invite people never to believe me or anybody else, but to test it for yourself, to find out what's your actual truth and to have an open mind. Obviously you're listening to a podcast like this this far. Again, for me, what's really important is the sensation, not the story. Because when we get lost in the mind, it's a way to avoid feeling something. As a therapist, I used to have people come to me and tell me elaborate stories. I'm like, okay, and what are you feeling in your body? And can we be with that? And so those are some like, grounded, practical ways to start testing this and exploring and trying it on in your own life.
- [24:11]
Jim Curtis
Here's a real. Yeah, I love that. And you know, so we're taking it from this. And what I do in all my groups and in my own coaching practice and through hypnotherapy and everything that I do is we marry the practical, like the human side, with this idea of spirit, right? We are the. I am. We are the. We are the ocean in the drop of. Of rain. And we are the drop of rain in the ocean. We are the creator. Okay, so now we've come down. It's time to have this practical experience as human beings. So all you have to really do to know that you can switch out of that feeling of pain of the breakup or other things is yeah, feel it for a second. For your 90 seconds. I love that. That idea and that study research that shows that if you feel it, then you can let it go. And then know that you can shift into any other feeling that you ever wanted by just remembering a time or imagining. And if you want to get there faster, eat a food that made you really happy, that you had the best time with friends with. As soon as you eat that food, it will hit you on all the senses and bring back that the endorphins and the happiness of that. Or you remind you of the smell, the place, the time, the taste and the people around you. And you can start to see that you can shift into different emotions really quickly.
- [25:33]
Co-Host
And I think people understanding that they have the remote control and here are some practices to learn to navigate so that we stay within the window of tolerance and we are healthy. So that if we do a practice where we're feeling a raw sensation, we're doing it from a place of safety. We're doing it from a place of having resource because you need safety and whatever the shadow stuff to be equal rather than being overwhelming, which can then put you into a trauma response. And so want to make sure that I note that and we're not avoiding the pain. I think sometimes, at least for myself, I used to. I used to take that practice that I was speaking of 90 seconds as a way to avoid feeling something. And then something dropped in A little bit more mature was like, oh, there's a love that again is indiscriminate. That is my true nature that welcomes the grief without trying to love it so that it gets. It moves on, but just genuinely says yes to and presences that grief. Because I was doing it as a way to avoid feeling grief. I was like, now I've got this thing and let me do it so that it moves away. But I'm like, oh, that's. That's the ego finding some really great wisdom and then trying to manipulate rather than having a deeper sense of freedom and so just calling that out. But I want to come back to you being a hypnosis because we've not had a hypnosis on the podcast. And I would love. I love that you studied with Brian Weiss. I love his work. Share with us for those that don't know much about hypnotism. Like what is it? Who, who does it benefit? What should we be aware of? Talk to us about the power of this work.
- [27:01]
Jim Curtis
Our subconscious mind is controlling 95% of all things, right? And I could cut open your body and even in your brain you can see the front cortex, you can see all the different parts of your brain and be like, where's the subconscious? Where's the subconscious mind? You know, it is our autonomic nervous system. It's the thing that allows us to regulate our breathing and our temperature and to even have reflexes and to all do all those things. There are beliefs and our emotions and our feelings. All those things that we don't have control of that are our operating system. It's the subconscious mind. And so we have this conscious mind that thinks it's in control, but the programming and the parts of our subconscious mind is what's really directing it. Now we can use our conscious mind to say, I want to consciously start to change my subconscious mind and I'm going to go into a deeper state of focus to be able to do that. And a deeper state of focus to be able to do that is hypnosis. And we go into a deeper state of focus quite often or we go into a trance. You know when you're driving and you get deep focus of thought and you don't remember where the road, like how did I just go five miles on the highway? But you were thinking about something, so. Or some people go for a run and they have the best ideas. Or even when you're taking a really hot shower and you get out of there and you're like, bingo, I got it. It came to me, it's, I channeled it, it sourced it. It's just like you got into a trance state and your mind was able to have a deeper sense of focus and change. And so with hypnosis and another thing that I practice is nlp, Neuro, linguistic programming and psych K, which is psychology, kinesiology. And so you can start to change really effectively, find and change really effectively these beliefs that you have, the programs that are creating your reality. And so a lot of people say, well, is this stuff mind control? And my answer is yes, absolutely, it's mind control.
- [29:09]
Co-Host
Is there a practical, simple thing that people can use in their own life through hypnosis that they can administer to themselves?
- [29:18]
Jim Curtis
Yes. So there are a number of things. One, you can reduce your anxiety very quickly. You can start to speak to your higher self very quickly because sometimes it's like, what is my connection to spirit? How do I connect with spirit? Higher self, the one that's always listening and watching. The conscious awareness, you can start to get your mind and body to work together. And there are a lot of different ways that you can use self hypnosis, even by counting down so that you can start to put yourself into your own trance state. But just by, if I was to ask you, I have a really ripe lemon and I'm going to cut this lemon in half and squeeze the super juicy sour juice out. And now I really want you to first smell how citrusy this is and then take a bite of this really, really ripe sour, sour, sour lemon. Like a, like super pucker sour. And do you already start to feel like your mouth watering a little bit?
- [30:17]
Co-Host
Yes, 100%.
- [30:19]
Jim Curtis
All right. So this is the power of your mind. That's, you know, your imagination is as real to your body as, as reality is. And so we can start to get into a self hypnosis where you're just literally imagining the best outcome or imagining you're speaking to your highest power or imagining that your body is healthy and you can count yourself down with each breath. You can count down from five to one. Like each breath going down. Imagine you're walking down with your eyes closed and you feel your breath. Imagine you're walking down a flight of stairs. There's 10 stairs. And just close your eyes and imagine you're walking down from 10 to 1. First on the first step, 10. Going down a little bit deeper. 9, feeling your breath and your shoulders even relaxing a little bit. And then have your most subtle voice, the voice of your higher power. Just come in a little bit. 8, 7, 6. All the way down. 5. Walking down the stairs. 4, 3, 2, 1. Down here, in your relaxed state, as you feel the breathing, your voice of the higher power gets a little bit louder, a little bit more clear. It's the loving voice that can be aware of all things. And here, this voice has messages for you. Now if you can just notice those messages, notice the ease of them. And now also down here, you may want to speak to your body, imagine, visualize, or see that it's working properly, there's no pain. Or even imagine that you're floating. And as you float in the most comfortable place, your body can just relax. So if you're in a pool of water and you have no weight, you're just buoyant. Any pain in your neck or shoulders can just go away in buoyancy. Even in your lower back may Just feel at ease. And then you can come right back up. 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5. And your eyes open and you realize that the voice in your head can bring you there anytime that you want. And if you have pain, you do that three or four times. You first say, oh boy, my pain's at a 10. You do that three or four times, counting down from 10 to 1, going into a place of floating and buoyancy, speaking to your mind, allowing your muscles to relax, speaking to your higher power, receiving messages of love. And then you come back up and say, oh, okay, my pain is out of five. And then you do it again. Same with breakup pain. Guess what? That heartache because you haven't received the text message back.
- [33:15]
Co-Host
Yeah.
- [33:17]
Jim Curtis
Do they like me? They haven't texted me.
- [33:20]
Co-Host
Yeah. But it's not the situation that hurts us in relationship, it's the mind. And so the mind goes to fear, lack and separation as a way to predict, as a way to protect. Right. It goes to worst case scenario and yet it creates that more of the same. And so what I love that you're sharing with hypnosis in this work work is that we're using the mind rather than the mind using us. We're taking dominion over it. And these are tools to do that. I find hypnosis manifestation things like visualization, these things are incredibly helpful for people who have a lot of fear, anxiety. So that you're reprogramming, you're re scripting what it is. Like I've heard this quote, why not win in your own fantasy, right? It's like, it's like, okay, we're using our energy anyway. And I find like the law of assumption, people that assume it's going to happen, not only is it more likely that it does because they're looking for the evidence of that, but also in the gap between where they are and when it happens, they're just happier. And so why not reprogram more of it? Working out or choosing to hold things that way, that's at least my biased opinion. And so I love that this is a practice that people can feel more empowered and I love that you led us through that. So thank you.
- [34:29]
Jim Curtis
We do something really wonderful is quantum leaping and quantum identity changes change because our whole reality is based on who we think we are. And that is an imagined belief, Right? It's a belief that's supported and then we find evidence to confirm that it's true, our confirmation bias. And so if we want different in our lives, we have to actually see what our identity Is now what our ego wants to protect with fear of change and then what identity we want. And so how do you quantum shift into a new identity that can have that? And that's exactly what you were saying. There's another thing. I watched a video of yours. You were, many years ago, before you were married, you were dating a shaman.
- [35:13]
Co-Host
Oh, my dad's a shaman. I was dating a tantric man.
- [35:15]
Jim Curtis
You were dating a tantric man. Right. Many years ago you were dating a tantric man. And you would have these feelings of love when you weren't there. And then when you realized that you weren't with them, him and that you, that feeling of connection and love would go away. And then you were like, oh, if I can have this and he's not here and then my mind takes it away, then I can easily get it back again. And that is kind of the power of, of the state of the transit of the hypnotic state of just shifting emotions.
- [35:50]
Co-Host
Yeah, I love the conversation about identity. And a lot of what you're talking about is up, leveling identity from not enough low self worth inadequacy to being enough. And then for those then having a healthy integrated ego. And then for those that are interested in something more, waking up out of all identity of into what we are, not who we are. Right. There's no observer. It's observing presence. It's what we are. And so, yeah, deeper realizations for people that are interested. And those are, those are other conversations also that we go into in the podcast, which is really fun.
- [36:22]
Jim Curtis
And I'm actually trying now. Here's where in the next phase of my healing, I'm trying to step into the identity of a person that doesn't walk with a limp.
- [36:33]
Co-Host
That's part of the psychological identity.
- [36:35]
Jim Curtis
Yes.
- [36:36]
Co-Host
Yeah.
- [36:36]
Jim Curtis
So all the studies that have shown that people with multiple personalities, some, some of the personalities, I forget the name of this study, but some of the personalities will have diabetes and some of the personalities won't. One personality was blind and the other personality wasn't. And so what is the personality that I needed? The identity that I need to take on to 100% change my physical body.
- [37:02]
Co-Host
I love this. I love this. The power. This is really tapping into our innate power and personality. Persona comes from the Greek word Persona. So that's where we got like in Greek theater we would put on a Persona. And so what I hear you saying is I want to, to walk without the limp. I'm in full acceptance. And that would be a nice human experience. And so let me play with having that identity now and seeing how my body reacts. Beautiful.
- [37:26]
Jim Curtis
Because I've been able to change my identity a number of times, and now I am that. That's what I'm playing with next. And. And also with quantum energy. So within the trance state, within the theta state of our brainwaves, we can actually feel and experience the energy of what we believe is the quantum. And so if that is the creation of all energy and I can step into a new quantum identity, then that would say that I wouldn't have a physical issue. And so that's what I'm playing with and practicing now. But that's my next frontier.
- [38:00]
Co-Host
Fun. Yeah. Yeah. If you're going to play with identity, why not try on the one that feels most fun? You know, it feels light and most. In terms of the human experience you want to have. I know you talk about higher vibrational states states, and I always say that life is a mirror. So it's like we smile in the mirror and the mirror smiles right back. And so talk to us about these higher vibrational states and what that does for us in our life, Assuming we're not running from negativity or shadow work.
- [38:27]
Jim Curtis
Right. It's not toxic positivity or like, yes, we can't feel bad at all. We can. You know, I. I agree that if the. I did this for many years and I see many of my clients do it, the more that you push down your fear and anger and sadness, you know, the more stagnant it becomes and the worse you get. So feel it, let it out. Release it. However, if you focus on the outcome you want instead of the issues you have, or you focus more on what you do have instead of what's missing or basic. Just saying it very bluntly. Be grateful. You know, your life, you know your life will dramatically change. And is that enough? Yeah, in many cases it is. So to get into a higher vibrational state, perhaps you just. Two things really. And it's become so cliche, but I'm not sure everybody does it. And it's. It's just, you know, it's a lot of videos on it, but I'm not sure everybody's doing it. It's like, how can you be insanely grateful for what you have? Like, I wasn't grateful for a long time. Now I'm grateful that I can walk instead of being upset that I walk with a limp. Like, God bless this beautiful body that's still up and walking. And now from this place of abundance and gratitude, I can say, where can I Take it. Next, the high vibrational state. So, like, really being grateful for what you have and then focusing on the goal, focusing not on the issue, the. Not on the obstacle to your goal. Focusing on the excitement of achieving your goal. And that will just automatically raise. Raise the frequency and vibration of it.
- [40:04]
Co-Host
And I know people talk about gratitude, and I have a commitment right now. I'm going to have a gratitude journal for 30 days because I know the value of that. And to cultivate, especially because the mind goes to worry, I want to reprogram to gratitude, which is more in alignment with our natural state. And fear and worry get to be there. They get to be accepted. But we can also cultivate. So this is my. My commitment to myself that I'll do for 30.
- [40:32]
Jim Curtis
I'm gonna do it with you starting the Tonight before bed, because.
- [40:35]
Co-Host
Okay.
- [40:36]
Jim Curtis
That's the best time.
- [40:38]
Co-Host
Yeah, that's what I was thinking. Journaling. That's right.
- [40:40]
Jim Curtis
Program your mind before. I'm gonna do it, too. So we'll do. Thank you for that. I'm gonna do it together. We're gonna get it. Yeah.
- [40:46]
Co-Host
And send this podcast to somebody you want to do it to, and you can tag us on Instagram. We'll reshare, and we'll do gratitude with each other as a.
- [40:52]
Jim Curtis
Can we also do a manifestation challenge?
- [40:54]
Co-Host
I would. Yes. I would love that.
- [40:56]
Jim Curtis
Okay. Should we do the coffee or yellow butterfly? I have two manifestation challenges that are for beginners.
- [41:02]
Co-Host
Okay. You choose.
- [41:03]
Jim Curtis
All right.
- [41:03]
Co-Host
Because you know them.
- [41:04]
Jim Curtis
Let's do the yellow butterfly.
- [41:06]
Co-Host
Okay.
- [41:07]
Jim Curtis
The yellow butterfly manifestation challenge. We're also going to say, I'm so grateful for all these gorgeous yellow butterflies that are showing up in my life. And then. Right. The last thing that will write in the journal is thank you for showing me all of the yellow butterflies. And then when we wake up in the morning, we're going to then be. Thank you. Thankful for all the yellow butterflies. And then we'll ask the question, I wonder where I will see a yellow butterfly today? And let us know when they all come streaming in. Right. And some people will say, it's dead winter here. There's no yellow butterflies. And I'm like, are you sure about that?
- [41:53]
Co-Host
Yeah.
- [41:53]
Jim Curtis
Are you sure about that? Because you're gonna. You. If you say, I wonder where I will see a yellow butterfly, then let us know when that manifestation happens.
- [42:03]
Co-Host
Beautiful. Okay, great. Yeah. I love this. I love. It's really those simple things that we do daily that make the biggest impact. And I love the invitation to really cultivate what it is I wanna experience more. Cause it's less about thinking that the outside world's going to give me something and it's more for me, my, my spiritual path has always been about questioning everything and sitting in stillness as stillness. And so. And I love the psychological, which is more the gratitude which helps us feel that extra sparkle in our day. So thank you for inviting that. And, and the other thing I just wanted to share is like with this work, I remember you were asking about or you brought up this tantric lover that I had before I met my husband. And I remember that I, I would feel so high in his presence. I want to share this because I think it's going to serve people. I didn't eat, I didn't sleep, I was just elevated so high. And I realized that I went on this, on the spiritual journey. I was on this like I've got it, I lost it thinking like I was chasing states to try to get back to this high again. And I just want to name that because it can be a cul de sac in our spiritual evolution. And so just to watch out for trying to chase a state thinking that it's in a state, it's like what sees all states, what's already here now no matter what. And so what's the foundation? And. And that's a deeper freedom than anything that comes and goes. So I just want to plant that for people because it was a. Got stuck there for a little while chasing states. It's kind of like an addiction, like you would to a person or to any outside thing. And so just taking our power back.
- [43:36]
Jim Curtis
And how do you know what's the remedy to that?
- [43:39]
Co-Host
Questioning that the state is it like the more I look for something, the less I'm aware that I already am it. So it's the chasing a person, a spiritual state, anything outside versus pointing it back to the source of what I am, which is what is looking. My favorite quote is from St. Francis of Assisi. He says, what you are looking for is what's looking is what's doing the looking. And so it's a deeper inquiry for me. It's been the medicine of everything. And I think suffering has intelligence in it. It's feedback to wake up to a deeper truth beyond the stor story our mind is making up, the nightmare our mind is making up.
- [44:21]
Jim Curtis
Yes, yes, I agree.
- [44:23]
Co-Host
And so talking about fear and kind of like the root of scarcity, I know that that can show up in relationships, in finances and self worth. What have you discovered that really helps people embody and shift from fear into abundance.
- [44:38]
Jim Curtis
The recognition of where fear is coming from. Yes, the recognition of what fear is and where it's coming from. And the opposite of fear, what that is first the awareness of what fear is. And first the awareness of everything. When we're in a place of scarcity or even pain or anxiety, it's all fear. It's fear we're not good enough, fear that it's not going to work out, fear we won't be loved, fear that the future will be painful and that we won't be able to handle it. But all going back to like one key thing is fear that we're not enough. Not enough love for love from all those things. And so this fear lives squarely in our beliefs, in our ego. And so neither of those things are real. If I open you up and like surgically open you up, I won't find any of those beliefs, any of the fear, I won't find the ego, I won't find anything within you. They're a construct of our, of our imagination, our mind, our creation. So we are creating our future based on the fear that we feel now. That is a construct of our past. And so if we recognize what is our true nature when we feel absolutely calm, and our true nature is the opposite of fear, when we connect to that higher power. If anybody did the hypnotized little guided imagery, self hypnosis tool, they probably felt a little shining inkling of the opposite of fear, which is a connection to a higher power, which is love. And the truth is that we are love, we are absolutely love. And that we can heal our fear with love, with more love, more self love, not external love, more self love.
- [46:34]
Co-Host
Yeah. And I really part of how I orient around that is like creating safety for that part of us or that energy of fear, because that is the redemptive love that moves towards to embrace fear. And then we feel our wholeness, you know, wholeness like I used to feel not good enough, that was such a core story of my mind would make that mean about everything. And what I realized was when I was identified as a separate self, of course I wouldn't feel enough because my identity was from ego. And so waking up to who am I? That is enough or not enough, which both stories that the mind was making up, it was a reclamation of claiming and opening to that part of me which was a part of me, not the whole of me. And so even like the not enough is a claim for love, is a claim for embracing all of it.
- [47:21]
Jim Curtis
Yeah, beautifully said.
- [47:23]
Co-Host
And I want to talk to you about entrepreneurship because you have been such a successful entrepreneur and coach. I think conscious leadership, especially in business, is really important. I don't find that we have a lot of examples. And so I would love to hear about your professional life, being an executive in some big health companies and some of the wisdom or any nuggets you've discovered as being a conscious entrepreneur and coach.
- [47:47]
Jim Curtis
I helped develop and lead some of the largest companies in the world for health and wellness, from WebMD to everyday health to the what to expect when you're expecting, the pregnancy book, to, you know, Jillian Michaels, to Remedy Health Media, the Institute for Integrative Nutrition, iin. And along that journey, I really found myself, meaning I was not always a good leader, not at all. I found myself impatient, egoic, fearful. And I would see how I was doing based on how people were reacting to me. And I felt I had to be strong. And so I began to develop my, my own practice based on kind of learning through, through leading those examples. And so, so it wasn't always pretty but, and it, it's not, it's not always, but sometimes it has to be messy so that you can come out on the other side. And what I've learned is that as to be incredible conscious leaders, to be really successful in business, to build businesses that are 100, $200 million or IPO or get purchased for $200 million, like many of the businesses that I helped lead were, you have to really believe that it can happen. And you, you don't make it happen by living in scarcity. Meaning often we become obsessed with the issues that we have to overcome and we lose focus of the vision and what we want and why we're doing it. So we have to know the why. You have to know the vision. You have to believe that you can. And that sometimes is the biggest obstacle that you can overcome by, but perhaps that is just overcome by even if you don't believe it, still going for the bigger thing. Many times I'd see with salespeople, they wouldn't ask for money. They would have real trouble asking for money. And the best salespeople like I'll ask for $2 million for this product and doesn't matter if I get it or not. But others would be so afraid to ask for a large sum of money because they felt they weren't worth it it and we had to work through like you're, you're providing a service if, if Coca Cola can make billions of dollars a year with a liquid that literally takes rust off pipes. And you can provide health information or could be a coach and ask for a great amount of money. You're worth it, you're doing good. And so we'd start to switch. So there's a lot that goes into it, but most of it is making sure that you hold a vision, realizing your why, undoing some of those scarcity fears that keep you from your ultimate potential and then really taking an action step every day to make it happen so that you are in flow with your highest self as opposed to worrying and fear and ego of believing that maybe you're not good enough.
- [51:01]
Co-Host
Yeah, it's almost like we're confronted with our core fears projected onto business, onto love, onto health, whatever. It's the filter through which we're looking at life from. So might as well proactively clear, clean the lens and work it at the core now so that we can live more open hearted and open minded. Yeah, I know with sales, which is a big thing that I love teaching on as well. I think also it's like who we are being separate than what we do. Like we can mentally know it, but do we feel it and then in our gut really live that. And you know, being confronted with this fear of rejection, thinking that like if you, if you are inviting somebody to work with you that they say no, it's a personal rejection versus they're not ready or it wasn't a fit or you need to train better with your sales skills, but not about us. And that's when it can feel, when it's the ego makes it really personal. That's where it can be really hard to reiterate. But I love that you're sharing. Do the inner work, have a clear vision and take consistent action. So just in closing, I know your book, the Stimulati Experience. I want to hear from you directly. What is the core message that you would love people to walk away with? What do you want them to embody, know or experience having connected with this body of work from your own journey?
- [52:15]
Jim Curtis
What I want people to walk with away with most, whether it's by reading my books, stimuli or shift or joining one of my groups, is that once we lower the inflammation in our hearts and our minds, everything gets easier. You can connect more. So we feel disconnected from our higher self and that's what's bringing in so much fear. We're living within the ego, within this identity, within the programs that we've created. And once we kind of lower the friction of that and emotionally regulate, you can overcome any obstacle. And the obstacles no longer become obstacles, they become challenges. And the anxiety doesn't become anxiety, it becomes excitement. And there is just a small shift. You're a small shift away from everything that you do to make it an exciting life that is in alignment versus a life of struggle that things are happening to you and, and you can do that. You're literally a few small shifts away.
- [53:19]
Co-Host
So encouraging. Thank you for your open heart for really living your life in a way that can be of service to others. It's been delightful connecting with you. I know my audience is going to want to stay connected. Talk to us about where they find you.
- [53:33]
Jim Curtis
They can find me on Instagram Jim Curtis1 and I think in my bio we have a free guided visualization which if they want to start to get hyp, if they want to start to get acquainted with hypnosis, they can download that visualization, spend some time practicing it.
- [53:52]
Co-Host
Amazing. I appreciate you. Thank you for what you are doing in the world and I'm so grateful to have a new friend through this podcast. So I appreciate you. Thank you.
- [54:00]
Alyssa Abriga
Thanks, thank you so much for doing this work that changes the world, starting with yourself. It truly does make a difference. And if you're finding finding value in this podcast, a cost free way to support us is by following us. It does help us grow and we are so grateful. As a thank you gift, we will be sending you one of the most powerful tools that you can use on any area of your life to help you tap into your full potential so that you don't let fear hold you back from really stepping into your dreams. All you have to do is leave a review on Apple or Spotify, submit a screenshot of that and upload it to alyssanabriga.com podcast podcast. Once you do that, we will send you this incredible gift. I have so much more magic I want to share with you and I cannot wait to do that soon. But for now I just want to say thank you so much for being an example of what it's like to live with an open heart and mind in the world.