Podcast
Dating After Betrayal
Hosted by Haelly Kirk, Dating After Betrayal Coach · EN
Dating After Betrayal is a candid, grounded, and deeply honest exploration of love, self-trust, and rebuilding after betrayal.
Through real dating stories, voice-note-worthy reflections, and honest conversations, Haelly Kirk breaks down what’s actually happening beneath the surface after heartbreak. From attachment patterns and mixed signals to people-pleasing, chemistry, discernment, and learning how to trust yourself again.
This isn’t a podcast about “dating perfectly.”
It’s about understanding why betrayal changed the way you see love, men, yourself, and your future.
It’s about noticing your patterns, questioning the stories betrayal left behind, and learning how to date from clarity, confidence, and calm power instead of fear, fantasy, or survival mode.
Come for the dating stories.
Stay for the self-trust.
29episodes
Episodes
Newest firstAll episodes
When Men Say They Don’t Date Single Moms: Preference, Contempt, and Being a Package, Not Baggage
2w ago00:42:58Tap to summarizeIf you’ve ever heard a man say, “I don’t date single moms,” and felt that little sting in your chest, this episode will help you separate preference from contempt without making someone else’s belief mean something is wrong with you.In this episode, Haelly talks about a viral conversation where a man admitted he was falling for a beautiful, educated, stable woman, but struggled with the fact that she was a single mother. She breaks down why preferences are allowed, why dehumanization is not, and how single mothers can stop treating cruel stereotypes like mirrors.You’ll learn:why a man’s preference does not have to become your woundhow to tell the difference between preference and contemptwhy motherhood is not baggagewhy someone else’s belief is optional, and so is yourshow judgment gives you information about someone’s worldviewwhy a healthy man does not need to compete with your childhow betrayal can make you tender to lieswhy the sting is not always proof that something is truewhy you do not need everyone to want youhow to remember that you are a package, not baggageGet the free Heal After Betrayal guide: [LINK]Book a free Heal After Betrayal Call: [LINK]Link to the IG reel that inspired this episode [LINK]Send us Fan Mail
Transcribe →What to Do When a Guy Sends You a Rude Joke or Meme
3w ago00:29:49Tap to summarizeIf you’re still questioning whether you’re “too sensitive,” this episode will help you understand what to do when a man sends you a rude joke, meme, or comment that does not feel funny.In this episode, Haelly talks about a real message she received, why she chose not to laugh it off, and how one “joke” became a lesson in boundaries, self-trust, forgiveness, and vetting. You’ll learn how to communicate discomfort clearly, watch what someone does with your honesty, and stop abandoning yourself just to keep a connection.You’ll learn:why rude jokes can feel so confusing after betrayalhow to tell the difference between humor and disrespectwhat to say when something does not feel good to youwhy his reaction to your boundary is valuable informationwhy you do not have to forgive before you are readyhow to be firm without dehumanizing him backwhy you do not need to prove someone is bad to decide they are not alignedGet the free Heal After Betrayal guide: [LINK]Book a free Heal After Betrayal Call: [LINK]Send us Fan Mail
Transcribe →What Do You Want? Why It’s Not That Simple
May 2200:26:54Tap to summarizeIn this episode, we’re unpacking one of the most deceptively simple questions: “What do you want?” Inspired by The Notebook scene where Noah asks Allie this question and she says, “It’s not that simple,” we explore why wanting can feel so complicated, especially when different parts of us want different things. One part may want the person, another wants peace. One part wants to stay, another wants to leave. One part wants the old version of the relationship back, while another knows you can’t unknow what you now know.We’ll talk about the Want Audit, how to declutter your desires, and why self-trust is not about doing whatever you want in the moment. It’s about learning which want deserves to lead. This episode is for anyone who has ever wondered, “Do I actually want this, or am I just afraid to let it go?”If this episode made you realize your dating life might be cluttered with old beliefs, fear-based wants, or patterns you inherited instead of chose, come to Dating Mind Detox on May 28th at 5:30 PM Eastern.We’re going to clear out the mental clutter shaping the way you date, choose, attach, stay, leave, and second-guess yourself, so you can move forward with more clarity, self-trust, and intention. Be there or be square.Click HERE to registerSend us Fan Mail
Transcribe →What You Haven’t Learned From Betrayal Yet: A Case Study on Samson and Delilah
May 1500:35:23Tap to summarizeIf you are interested in learning more about how to heal from betrayal and the sneaky ways you might be sabotaging your future with your dream person, book a call with me HERE.No pressure. I’m nice. And even if we do not end up working together, you will absolutely walk away with some amazing takeaways.I only offer 3 spots each week, so grab one before they are gone.In this episode, we are doing a deep dive on betrayal through one of the messiest, most dramatic betrayal stories ever told: Samson and Delilah.And before you turn this off because you are not religious, hear me out. I am not here to tell you what to believe. I am here to look at this as a story.Because sometimes it is easier to see betrayal clearly when it is not our own.Samson and Delilah has everything:Love.Secrets.Money.Manipulation.Pressure.Vetting.Access.Fantasy.And a man who had three very clear signs that this woman was not safe with his vulnerability…And he still stayed.In this episode, I walk you through the story in plain English and pull out the gold nuggets on betrayal, intimacy, privacy, hookup culture, vetting, and why love does not mean unlimited access.Because one of the biggest lessons from this story is:You are denied access until proven trustworthy.Send us Fan Mail
Transcribe →The Mother’s Day Episode You Didn’t Know You Needed
May 900:24:51Tap to summarizeMother’s Day is beautiful… and for some of us, it’s complicated.In this episode, I’m talking about the part of motherhood we don’t always say out loud: the grief, the guilt, the resentment, the longing, and the little girl inside of us who still wants to be seen by her own mother.I share why Mother’s Day can feel tender when you grew up feeling like love came with an invoice, and how I’m learning to honor my mom, my own motherhood, and myself without turning sacrifice into martyrdom.This episode is for the woman who loves her mom and still feels hurt.For the mom who wants to break cycles without pretending she wasn’t shaped by them.And for anyone who needs permission to let Mother’s Day be honest, not perfect.Send us Fan Mail
Transcribe →The Story You Inherited About Men: What It’s Actually Shaping
Apr 3000:46:08Tap to summarizeIn this episode, I’m introducing The Dating Mind Detox by exploring how the stories we inherited about men may still be shaping the way we date today. Before we ever experienced heartbreak, betrayal, ghosting, or dating apps, many of us were already absorbing beliefs about men from our parents, caregivers, culture, media, and early experiences. We’ll talk about how those beliefs shape what we notice, what we ignore, what we tolerate, and who we become in dating. If you’re ready to stop letting old stories pick your future, join me for my free workshop, The Dating Mind Detox, on May 28th at 5:30 PM EST. Register HERESend us Fan Mail
Transcribe →The Courtroom, The Betrayal, and Why I Became A Dating Coach
Apr 1300:31:54Tap to summarizeThis episode is a little bit of everything… the courtroom, the betrayal, and the lessons that came through it.I share what happened with my pendente lite case, how I almost didn’t file, and what shifted when I finally decided to take action. But more than that, this episode is about a relationship I was in… and how the people who loved me could see things I wasn’t ready to see yet.The truth is—I had incredible friends. Ride or dies. Women who loved me deeply, supported me, and told me the truth.I didn’t need different friends… I needed to become someone who could actually hear them.This episode is about that shift. The moment where things start to click, where awareness deepens, and you begin to trust what’s been in front of you the whole time.If you’ve ever felt torn between what you feel, what you hope, and what the people around you are seeing… this one will land.Send us Fan Mail
Transcribe →The Dating Mistake that Feels Like "Being Nice": Mr. Styrofoam Explained
Apr 700:32:22Tap to summarizeReady to stop overthinking your dating life and start getting real clarity?Book your FREE 20-minute dating consult here: [Insert Link]If you’re navigating confusing situations, patterns that keep repeating, or you just want expert eyes on your dating profile or current connection—I’ve got you. No pressure, just support, clarity, and direction.Episode:You ever stay on a date way longer than you wanted to… just to be “nice”?In this episode, I break down a recent date with Mr. Styrofoam—where nothing was technically wrong, but everything felt off. While he thought it was going great, I knew within minutes it wasn’t a match… and still stayed for hours.We’re talking about the subtle dating mistake so many women make: overriding what their body is telling them in the name of politeness. I walk you through the exact moments that felt off, what I noticed, where I stayed longer than I needed to, and what I’d do differently now.If you’ve ever second-guessed your intuition, stayed out of obligation, or wondered “should I give it more time?”… this episode is for you.Send us Fan Mail
Transcribe →He Was Everything… Except Available 💔 Mr. Logistically Unavailable, Explained
Mar 2500:33:54Tap to summarizeReady to stop overthinking your dating life and start getting real clarity?Book your FREE 20-minute dating consult here: [Insert Link]If you’re navigating confusing situations, patterns that keep repeating, or you just want expert eyes on your dating profile or current connection—I’ve got you. No pressure, just support, clarity, and direction.My Spring Cohort begins April 6th, and this is your chance to get a feel for what it’s like to be coached by me before joining.I met a man who checked almost every box.Chemistry. Depth. Emotional intelligence. Playfulness. Presence.The kind of connection that makes you pause and think… oh… this is what I’ve been looking for.And I still had to walk away.Not because he ghosted me. Not because he disrespected me. But because he wasn’t available for the kind of relationship I want.In this episode, I break down what I now call Mr. Logistically Unavailable—the man who shows up well, creates real connection… and still doesn’t choose the relationship.I share the full story, including the very real moment where I almost abandoned my standards and sent him flights just to make it work.And how I coached myself through it.This episode is for you if: You’ve ever met someone amazing… but it just couldn’t work You’ve felt tempted to convince someone to choose you You’re tired of confusing chemistry with alignment You want to date with clarity instead of emotion-led decisions This isn’t about settling.It’s about refining your standards.Because the truth is:Compatibility creates connection. But availability creates relationships.And once you understand that… everything changes.If you want support applying this to your own dating life, don’t forget to book your free consult above.Send us Fan Mail
Transcribe →The Internet Says Single Moms Are "Ruining The Dating Pool"....
Mar 600:35:40Tap to summarizeSingle moms — or those of you who know and love a single mom — pay attention.I’m hosting a FREE workshop called Love Without Anxiety on March 9th and March 16th at 5:30 PM EST, where I’ll be teaching the mindset and strategies that help single moms date with clarity instead of anxiety.Reserve your seat here: [Click HERE]Some men think single moms are ruining modern dating.Instead of getting offended… I got curious.Recently I posted something online about dating as a single mom, and the internet had a lot to say. Some men claimed single moms are ruining the dating pool. Others said no “quality man” would want to raise another man’s child. And of course, the internet delivered its usual mix of criticism, confusion, and completely random comments.But instead of letting it bother me, I found the whole thing fascinating.Because the truth is… they aren’t entirely wrong.Some men genuinely don’t want to date single moms.And once you understand that, something powerful happens: dating becomes a lot simpler.In this episode, I explore why criticism like this doesn’t hurt the way it used to and how doing deeper inner work completely changes the way we experience rejection, judgment, and dating.Drawing from the teachings of Byron Katie, we unpack why other people’s opinions only have power over us when we believe them — and why dating isn’t about convincing the wrong people to choose you.It’s about letting them filter themselves out.Inside this conversation we explore:• Why some men truly don’t want to date single moms (and why that’s useful information) • The two very different types of men that exist in the dating world • How self-worth changes the way criticism lands • Why rejection can actually be clarityBecause the goal of dating isn’t to be liked by everyone.It’s to find the person who sees the most beautiful parts of your life… and loves you even more for them.Send us Fan Mail
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