Heavyweight – 2026 Update: Elyse

Podcast: Heavyweight
Host: Jonathan Goldstein, Pushkin Industries
Date: March 26, 2026

Episode Overview

This episode revisits the story of Elyse, originally featured in an earlier season, and offers a dramatic update nearly eight years later. Jonathan Goldstein reunites with Elyse to explore the aftermath of her attempted reconciliation with her estranged father, Billy, and uncovers new developments—including other potential siblings and the ultimate fate of Billy. The episode is a poignant meditation on estrangement, closure, and the search for answers from a parent who remains emotionally elusive.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The "Call-In" Origin Story

• The episode began as an experiment in live call-in shows, leading to Elyse’s story surfacing unexpectedly ([00:42]).
  • “We were trying to do a call in show, but in our case, that basically failed. But it succeeded because we wouldn't have had this story without it.” – Jonathan ([00:45])

2. Elyse’s Early Recollection: Her Relationship with Billy

• Elyse paints Billy as a fun, adventurous father—until a pattern of chaotic, damaging behaviors emerged:
  • He ruined her credit, destroyed his marriage through affairs, and estranged himself without warning.
  • The estrangement: He left the country without telling her or her mother, communicating only via brief holiday emails for five years ([07:14]–[10:49]).
  • “Our idea of a family vacation was to, like, show up in a country with no plan and, like, rent a car and just like, drive around.” – Elyse ([07:47])

3. Attempts at Reconnection & Betrayal of Identity

• Billy started a new family in the Philippines, naming his new daughter “Elyse”—intensifying the sense of replacement for his original daughter ([11:59]–[12:09]).
  • “He actually named his new daughter my name Elyse... I just find it so insulting. It’s just such a transparent replacement.” – Elyse ([12:09])

4. Jonathan’s Mediation: Contacting Billy

• Jonathan acts as intermediary, first reaching out to Billy via email. Billy, surprisingly, is responsive and expresses remorse and regret, particularly about the pain caused to Elyse and her mother ([18:13]–[22:51]):
  • "I basically put bluntly, shit all over that woman on many occasions... There’s absolutely nothing that I won't be completely honest and open about.” – Billy ([21:08])
  • Billy expresses excitement to hear from Elyse, suggesting he’s been waiting for a sign she wants contact ([22:51]).

5. The Long-Awaited Call: Elyse Confronts Her Father

• Elyse and Jonathan call Billy together—her first time hearing his voice in five years ([26:24]–[37:10]).
  • Elyse emphasizes her pain and anger at feeling abandoned and replaced, and directly asks for an explanation.
  • “I feel like every time I let you back in and I forgive you for whatever has happened before, you end up just breaking my heart again… I do find it very insulting that you gave another child my name, my first and last name.” – Elyse ([29:33])
  • Billy deflects, blaming cultural differences for the name, then avoids providing any real explanation for leaving ([31:11], [33:46]).

6. Persistent Evasion and the Elusiveness of Closure

• Billy promises to provide written answers but never follows through ([39:11]).
  • "I'll be more than happy to do that. Every question that you may have..." – Billy ([35:29])
  • Post-call, Elyse reflects that she feels ‘steamrolled’ and acknowledges that she no longer feels responsible for the lack of relationship ([40:23]):
    • “I feel a lot less guilt now… we’ll never be as close as it sounds like he wanted us to be… maybe it’s okay that I don’t push for that.” – Elyse ([40:23])

7. Unexpected Family Ties: Discovering Martin

• Martin, a British man, reaches out to Elyse claiming to be another of Billy’s children, with a similar abandonment story. They discover parallels: Billy left Martin's life suddenly, moving abroad, and potentially fathered yet another son ([41:45]).
  • Elyse offers Martin emotional validation, sharing her own hard-earned conclusion:
    • “Whatever relationship you have in your head that you want with him is probably not possible… I can confirm that you’re genetically related, but that doesn’t guarantee that he will be a presence in your life in a way that you want, because he’s not able to do that for me.” – Elyse ([44:07])

8. Elyse’s Resolution: Accepting What Cannot Be Changed

• Elyse recognizes she has done her part to reach out, and that accepting her father as he is—not as she wants him to be—is the only sustainable path.
  • She plans to mirror his communication style:
    • “Happy whatever holiday it is. Hope you’re well. Love, Elyse.” ([44:32])

The 2026 Update: New Revelations and Final Closure

1. New Siblings and Exile

• Elyse reveals that Billy fathered yet another child with a younger woman in the Philippines—the latest in a pattern ([47:27]).
  • “So there was eventually a younger sibling in the Philippines from a different woman… The last woman he took up with romantically was younger than me. Her name is Faith.” – Elyse ([47:27])

2. Billy’s Legal Problems and Death

• Billy was imprisoned (in detention) for lack of legal immigration status and possibly other crimes. He was later deported to Guam and ended up in Thailand, where he ultimately died ([48:00]–[50:01]).
  • “When he was in prison and in the hospital, like, at least I knew where he was… Then in early—essentially just over a year ago, he passed away in Thailand.” – Elyse ([49:12]–[50:01])

3. Emotional Aftermath

• Elyse, who receives her father’s ashes, feels “very mixed feelings”—having already grieved the loss of their relationship years earlier ([50:04]).
  • “I think I had grieved our relationship so much at that point that with his passing, it was more of a….Okay, this is over.” – Elyse ([51:31])

4. Reflection on the Podcast’s Impact

• Looking back, Elyse sees the call with her father as important in cementing that their relationship was “effectively over” and that nothing she could have done would have changed him ([51:37]).
  • She has not connected via DNA testing with Martin or other alleged siblings, citing privacy concerns, but is open to helping them seek closure ([52:17]).

5. A Life Moved On

• Elyse’s life is now stable, married to the partner she had just started dating at the time of the original episode. She expresses gratitude for the peace in her personal life, despite the chaos her father brought ([52:44]–[52:55]).

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Estrangement:
  • “The only connection I have to him is his Comcast email address.” – Elyse ([11:23])
• On Identity and Replacement:
  • “He actually named his new daughter my name Elyse. I just find it so insulting… like, I moved to a country and made a new you.” – Elyse ([12:09])
• Direct Plea for Honesty:
  • “You have to understand that you just disappeared and I had no context. Like I want to know what you were thinking when you left and, like, why you left. So, like, what happened?” – Elyse ([33:46])
• Billy’s Deflection:
  • “I'll be more than happy to do that… I will be more than happy to spend my evening starting to explain that to you.” – Billy ([35:29], [38:25])
• On Letting Go of Responsibility:
  • “I feel a lot less guilt now… The burden of us not having whatever relationship I think we should have is not as much on me.” – Elyse ([40:23])
• On Recognizing a Pattern:
  • “The reason Billy did what Billy did is because that's what Billy does.” – Jonathan ([44:32])
• Advice to Martin (and Herself):
  • “I can confirm that you’re genetically related, but that doesn’t guarantee that he will be a presence in your life in a way that you want.” – Elyse ([44:07])

Timestamps for Significant Segments

• Call-in Origin & Episode Introduction: [00:42]–[06:31]
• Elyse’s First Call & Family History: [06:31]–[15:27]
• Jonathan Reaches Out to Billy: [18:13]–[22:28]
• Elyse and Billy’s Phone Conversation: [26:24]–[37:10]
• Immediate Emotional Processing: [40:05]–[41:45]
• Discovery of Extended Family: [41:45]–[44:32]
• 2026 Update—New Siblings, Prison, and Death: [47:27]–[50:01]
• Final Reflections: [51:37]–[52:55]

Tone & Atmosphere

The episode is contemplative and bittersweet—mixing Goldstein’s dry, slightly self-deprecating humor with raw, sometimes awkward, but deeply honest conversations. The tone transitions from hopeful curiosity to weary acceptance, mirroring Elyse’s own emotional progression.

Summary

Heavyweight’s 2026 Update: Elyse is a powerful exploration of the wounds left by parental abandonment, the limits of accountability and reconciliation, and the complicated path to relinquishing guilt. Elyse’s journey—from heartbreak and desperate hope for answers, through disillusionment, to clarity and acceptance—resonates for anyone who’s sought closure when it could not be found. In the end, Elyse reclaims her narrative and agency, reminding listeners that sometimes the closest we get to explanation is simply accepting that others are unable to provide it, and that moving forward doesn’t always require the cooperation of those who hurt us.