#58 Harry

Summary

Heavyweight Episode #58: "Harry" - Detailed Summary

Introduction to the Story of Ted, Todd, and Scott

The episode "Harry" delves into the poignant story of two identical twin brothers, Ted and Todd, and their younger brother, Scott. Ted and Todd, both in their 60s, embody the stoic and steady nature of their upbringing in South Dakota amidst cowboys. Unlike their reserved demeanor, Scott was vibrant, spontaneous, and faced significant challenges, including his battle with AIDS.

• Jonathan Goldstein (00:45): "Ted and Todd are in their 60s. They both have long white hair and the stoic deadpan affect of hitmen in a Cormac McCarthy novel."
• Ted (05:53): "Real bright personality. I mean, he was just definitely his own individual for sure."

Scott's Struggles and the Introduction of Harry

Scott's vivacious spirit was both his strength and his vulnerability. As a gay man from a young age, he endured bullying but remained a force of nature. His carefree actions, such as driving his father's Lincoln Continental nearly 1,000 miles at 15 (06:19), highlighted his independence. Amidst his struggles, Scott adopted a red and green macaw named Harry, whose longevity seemed like an act of denial about his own mortality.

• Jonathan Goldstein (09:36): "Even for a healthy adult, such a purchase would mean a commitment that lasts into old age. In Scott's case, it felt like an act of denial."
• Ted (09:46): "What Scott did was what Scott always does, just I'm going to do what I'm going to do and I like it and I want it and that's how it's going to be and it's going to be fine."

The Impact of Scott’s Death on the Family and Harry

Scott passed away in 2000 at the age of 38. His death left a profound void in the family, not just emotionally but also in the care of Harry. Harry, who was inseparable from Scott, struggled to adjust, becoming aggressive and distressed. Ted and Todd faced the heartbreaking decision to find a new home for Harry, a choice that has haunted them with guilt ever since.

• Ted (11:03): "Son, her baby, her youngest dad. And then you've got Harry that was mimicking my little brother's voice and you know, would call mom Mom."
• Ted (12:21): "I had to tell my son. No, it just. It wouldn't be fair to Harry. It wouldn't be fair to you."

The Quest to Find Harry

Decades later, Ted and Todd are driven by lingering guilt and unanswered questions about Harry’s well-being. They reach out to Jonathan Goldstein, seeking closure by finding Harry. Jonathan embarks on an extensive search, utilizing social media groups, bird sanctuaries, and databases, but initial efforts prove futile.

• Ted (13:31): "This bird could still be out there."
• Hannah (17:55): "It's completely impossible."

Discovery at Oasis Sanctuary

After exhaustive searching and a breakthrough from his producer Mona, Jonathan locates Harry at Oasis Sanctuary in Southern California. The sanctuary houses hundreds of birds, but Harry stands out based on detailed characteristics and an accurate age estimate.

• Mona (21:28): "It's the Oasis Sanctuary."
• Jonathan Goldstein (23:12): "We found a macaw whose name is Harry, who's the right age and who's from the right place."

Meeting Harry and Valentina

Upon arrival at Oasis Sanctuary, the family meets Harry and his mate, Valentina. Despite Harry's aggressive past, there are signs of recognition from Ted and Todd. The interaction is subtle yet significant, providing a glimpse of potential forgiveness and closure, even if full reconciliation remains elusive.

• Hannah (30:39): "He's being very protective of her. They have bonded very strong bonds."
• Ted (33:26): "Hi, Harry. Hello, Harry. How are you?"
  Hannah (33:37): "See, now she's responding."

Emotional Reconciliation and Reflections

The encounter with Harry does not provide all the answers Ted and Todd seek, but it offers a moment of emotional release. Hearing what they perceive as Scott's voice through Harry brings a bittersweet sense of forgiveness. The family grapples with the complexity of their emotions, acknowledging that while Harry is physically safe, the emotional wounds from Scott's death persist.

• Ted (37:47): "Yeah, it sounded like Scott."
• Ted (38:20): "Glad you're okay. Can I leave him alone? Yeah, probably. Bye, Harry."

Conclusion: Seeking Closure

The episode concludes with Ted and Todd finding some semblance of peace through the reunion with Harry. While physical separation remains, the emotional connection forged during this quest underscores the enduring bonds of family and the lingering search for forgiveness.

• Ted (38:44): "I'm glad he's doing all right."
• Jonathan Goldstein (38:48): "And with that, Ted and Todd go back to the group. And Harry and Valentina go back to living that outlaw life."

Final Thoughts

"Harry" is a moving exploration of family, loss, and the quest for closure. Through Ted and Todd's journey, listeners witness the profound impact of Scott's life and death, and the lingering effects of decisions made in the face of grief. The episode masterfully intertwines personal narratives with emotional depth, leaving listeners reflecting on their own experiences with loss and reconciliation.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Jonathan Goldstein (00:45): "Ted and Todd are in their 60s. They both have long white hair and the stoic deadpan affect of hitmen in a Cormac McCarthy novel."
• Ted (05:53): "Real bright personality. I mean, he was just definitely his own individual for sure."
• Jonathan Goldstein (09:36): "Even for a healthy adult, such a purchase would mean a commitment that lasts into old age. In Scott's case, it felt like an act of denial."
• Ted (09:46): "What Scott did was what Scott always does, just I'm going to do what I'm going to do and I like it and I want it and that's how it's going to be and it's going to be fine."
• Ted (13:31): "This bird could still be out there."
• Hannah (17:55): "It's completely impossible."
• Ted (33:26): "Hi, Harry. Hello, Harry. How are you?"
• Ted (37:47): "Yeah, it sounded like Scott."
• Ted (38:20): "Glad you're okay. Can I leave him alone? Yeah, probably. Bye, Harry."
• Ted (38:44): "I'm glad he's doing all right."

Closing Remarks

"Harry" serves as a testament to Heavyweight's mission of revisiting past moments to seek understanding and closure. It highlights the intricate dynamics of family bonds and the enduring quest for peace amidst unresolved grief.

Transcript

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Pushkin.

[Jackie Cohen]

Hey, how are you?

[Jonathan Goldstein]

I'm okay. How are you? I am okay. I'm okay. Are you calling me?

[Jackie Cohen]

You want to borrow money?

[Jonathan Goldstein]

So you heard the news? Did you read the tweet that I sent you? No, actually, I haven't. I've been working all day, and I haven't had a chance to. But can I read you the tweet from the HEAVYWEIGHT account that we put out? Yeah. Okay. It's heavyweight as it exists under Spotify will be ending after this season. We're so proud of everything we've made, and we're hoping the show finds a new home in the future. Till then, stay tuned, stay subscribed, and thank you all so much for your love and support. No, things are gonna be okay. You know what? Cause it's show business. You know that song from Bugs Bunny? Oh, please. Overtures, turn the lights. You know that song? This is it, the night of nights. No more rehoicing and noicing of parts. We know every part by heart. It's about going on with the show. How are you gonna go on with the show? We're gonna try to find a new place for it. You know, we have an obligation to our listeners. Why does that make you laugh? I have an obligation to my listeners. Wait. Let's. Let's just sit here together and think about all the laughter through the years. You're such an idiot.

[Jackie Cohen]

Can I hang up now?

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Can I hang up now? Okay. And you know what? You're gonna be okay. I'm gonna be okay. And you know, you're gonna be okay. We're gonna keep on doing this. I want you to know something. This is my. This is my. I'm signing off. I don't think you are signing off. I don't believe it. I think you love doing this. Am I right? Just admit it and I'll let you go. Goodbye. Hey, Jackie. Jackie. Jackie. Yes, dear. Thank you for these past eight years. Oh, so awful. Let's go milking it. I'm Jonathan Goldstein, and this is Heavyweight. Today's episode, Harry, right after the break. Foreign. You're listening to an iHeart podcast. ChatGPT plus is free for college students now through May. That means you have no limits on how many ways you can prompt ChatGPT to help you through the worst part of the school year. I spoke with producer and college graduate Khalilah Holt. Yeah. You can create any image you can think of in any style. Quick, give me an image. Sylvia Plath. James, stand up.

[Hannah]

Comedy ding.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Sylvia Plath. Happy at last. Thanks to ChatGPT. ChatGPT free for college students through may restrictions apply. Our story begins with two people. Ted and Todd. Or is it Todd and Ted in the plaid shirt? You are Ted?

[Ted]

Yes.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

And you're Todd?

[Ted]

That's correct.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Okay. Hi. Hi. Nice to meet you. Both Ted and Todd are identical twins, but not the Mary Kate and Ashley cutie patootie type. They're more the slappy, happy, punchy, grumpy type.

[Ted]

If you hit me one more time.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Case in point, that was the sound of Ted reacting to Todd, who for no apparent reason, just whacked his brother in the arm. Is that a part of the way that you guys communicate?

[Ted]

Yeah. Uh huh.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

But if I'm not here, I mean, you don't punch each other, right?

[Ted]

Not anymore. No. Not anymore. No.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Ted and Todd are in their 60s. They both have long white hair and the stoic deadpan affect of hitmen in a Cormac McCarthy novel. They grew up in South Dakota surrounded by literal cowboys. Before the interview, they asked if there'd be cigarette breaks. They both smoke Pall Malls, drink Keystone Lights, and they both work as contractors. They tell me they can't go into a Home Depot together without being asked the same asinine question. Are you guys twins? In response, Ted and Todd stare back blankly. But the story Ted and Todd are here to tell isn't actually about their twinship. It's about their younger brother, Scott, who died in 2000. Do you want to start off by maybe talking to me a little bit about Scott?

[Ted]

Go ahead. Well, just here's our little brother. And that was about it.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

To spare you 20 odd minutes of coaxing and cajoling, I'll fast forward a bit to let you know that Scott was a year younger than Ted and Todd. He was the baby of the family, and they often ended up taking care of him. As older brothers, Ted and Todd were measured and steady. Scott, on the other hand, was fun and colorful.

[Ted]

Oh yeah, yeah. Real bright personality. I mean, he was just definitely his own individual for sure. Yeah, he got all the personality in school.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Scott attracted attention and not all of it good. This because in addition to his big personality, Scott was gay. From a pretty young age. He was a target for bullying. But Ted and Todd always kept an eye out.

[Ted]

You couldn't go after our little brother because then you're going to have to deal with both of us. So one offense, you're going to have three events. It's not because we liked it. We were protecting our family.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

In spite of the haters. Scott Remained a force to be reckoned with as a teenager. He once got into their dad's Lincoln Continental in the middle of the night and drove it almost 1,000 miles across state lines at 15.

[Ted]

I mean that tells you how independent Betty really was. Yeah, strong headed.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

While Ted and Todd got married and settled down, Scott maintained his impish spontaneity. Doing things like buying Ted and Todd's kids the candy they weren't allowed. Or once having promised his seven year old nephew a trip to the circus and then breaking his leg, made sure they could still go. By teaching his nephew how to pump the clutch. Scott led a nomadic life. Every so often Ted and Todd would get a phone call. Scott was in Roanoke, Virginia living with friends. Scott was in Nebraska going to mortician school. Scott had crashed his car in the desert outside of Phoenix. But no matter where he went and no matter how old he got, if Scott was in trouble, Ted and Todd's phones would ring. So one day in the fall of 1986 when Todd received a call from Scott at 3am he wasn't all that surprised.

[Ted]

He wanted me to come down and get him now, which was not unusual.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Scott told Todd he was in the hospital. When Todd got there, he was directed to a special ward and pretty obvious something was wrong.

[Ted]

And I walked in and there must have been six other beds in there probably he was the youngest at that point he would have been in his early 20s. And everybody had gowns and masks and gloves and shields and I mean it was really bizarre what is happening. And they said you weren't aware your brother's diagnosis. And that's when they said your brother has aids.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Scott wanted to get out of the hospital as quickly as possible so Todd just put him in the car and drove him home. Never did they talk about AIDS or what it meant. They didn't talk much at all. Ted and Todd would call to check on Scott as often as they could. They'd ask if he was going to the doctor, taking his meds. Are you taking care of it? They'd say. Yeah, he'd say. And for the next few years this is how it went until the day Harry arrived. Todd was on the phone checking in on Scott like usual. When he first heard her voice.

[Ted]

This thing in the background is like what is that?

[Jonathan Goldstein]

That was Harriet, AKA Harry, a red and green parrot. A three foot long macaw to be exact. Ted and Todd of course had questions. Questions like what the hell are you thinking? Scott had always loved unusual pets. As a kid he kept a squirrel in the house and even a bat. But there was something particularly worrying about adopting a parrot. Its longevity.

[Ted]

You have this disease, we don't know how long you're going to live and you buy an animal that's going to last 85 to 100 years.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Even for a healthy adult, such a purchase would mean a commitment that lasts into old age. In Scott's case, it felt like an act of denial.

[Ted]

What Scott did was what Scott always does, just I'm going to do what I'm going to do and I like it and I want it and that's how it's going to be and it's going to be fine.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

And so Harry was suddenly a fact of their family's life. Wherever Scott went, there was Harry. And in time, she won Ted and Todd over with her rowdy antics and foul mouthed turns of phrase.

[Ted]

You son of a bitch, Scott, come here. You know, da da, da, what's for dinner?

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Ted and Todd had five kids between them, all of whom adored their cool uncle and his crazy bird. They would take road trips together, Harry glued to Scott's shoulder. When they went to get dinner and left Harry in the hotel room, she'd scream, scott, you fucker. Annoyed to be left out of the fun. Harry was loyal to Scott and protective too. She'd nibble at the shunt in Scott's chest like it was a splinter that needed removal. As time went on, it became increasingly clear that Scott's diagnosis was taking a toll. One day when Ted and Todd called to check in, something felt off, he.

[Ted]

Just devoid of personality, just like, whoa, whoa, whoa, I want to talk to you. He goes, I'm just, I'm not feeling it, Todd. And the last time I talked to him, he just said, I said, what's going on with you? And he said, I'm done.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

A few days later, Scott died. He was 38 years old. Ted and Todd rushed out to California. Their mom, who'd been living with Scott, was devastated because obviously she lost her.

[Ted]

Son, her baby, her youngest dad. And then you've got Harry that was mimicking my little brother's voice and you know, would call mom Mom.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Harry grew unmoored, getting aggressive with their mother and anyone else who tried to handle her. The only people who she'd let touch her, the only ones she felt safe with, were the ones who most resembled Scott, that is Scott's brothers.

[Ted]

She was fine with Ted and I. When we would get there, she would just cock her head and look at and she would say, Scott.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

In those moments it felt like Ted Todd and Harry all shared some understanding. That word Scott was like a secret handshake. Before his death, Scott told Ted and Todd he wanted to leave Harry to Todd's eldest son, who was in junior high at the time. But Todd knew that keeping her just wasn't realistic.

[Ted]

I had to tell my son. No, it just. It wouldn't be fair to Harry. It wouldn't be fair to you. Because to own him a call, I don't think people fully understand. I mean, they get angry, they can be destructive. You know, if you ever see their claws or their beak, you don't want any party. The business end of those that she was chewing into the ceiling, into the attic. I mean, they're wild animal.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

And so they approached Harry's longtime groomer for help finding her a home. She offered to bring Harry to a nearby bird sanctuary. Or was it a pet store? Ted and Todd were so overwhelmed by Scott's death that they can't quite remember which. They do remember, though, the day of her departure, how their kids watched in tears as Harry, their beloved uncle's beloved pet, was taken away. They remember how Harry seemed to understand what was happening, how she howled, her.

[Ted]

Wings were everywhere, and she was very, very. The kids were upset and she was yelling at us. It was just. It was pandemonium. It was heartbreaking. Yeah, it was tough.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

At this point, Ted and Todd haven't seen Harry in over 20 years. But they do know one thing.

[Ted]

This bird could still be out there.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

And so Ted and Todd have come to me with these questions. Is she still out there? And if so, did they do the right thing in giving her up? Why do you think you're looking for Harry now?

[Ted]

We always took care of our little brother, and that's the one thing we didn't take care of.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Ted and Todd had taken care of their brother since they were children. Making sure Harry was provided for was the last thing Scott needed from them. And it's the only thing they couldn't do. Ted, do you feel guilt about it?

[Ted]

Yeah.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Can you say more about that?

[Ted]

No.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

It'S difficult to talk about.

[Ted]

Yeah, it is.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Yeah. Okay. So knowing that, knowing that Harry was okay, what would that, what would that bring to you?

[Ted]

We'd just be happy to know she's fine.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

And emotionally, I don't really deal with that.

[Jackie Cohen]

There's a part of them that doesn't want to talk about it at all.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

This is Hannah, Ted's daughter in law. Because Ted and Todd are such a closed book, she's offered to help translate them for Me. Hannah tells me that through Harry, Ted and Todd can broach a subject they wouldn't otherwise know how to approach. And doing that might allow them to forgive themselves.

[Jackie Cohen]

So it's almost like they can talk about Harry in a way that's easier than talking about Scott. It's kind of like a surrogate. I think there's just a lot of pain in the death of their brother. Like, what I heard from Chase is that the one time that they've seen their dads cry is when their brother died.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Yeah. This is Chase, Ted's son and Hannah's husband. They had no control over it. I'm sure they couldn't make him take his medicine or do the thing he was supposed to do as far as getting rest or going to the doctors. And, like, they couldn't go beat up aids. When it came to their brother's death, actions finally failed them. In actions, Hannah and Chase say, are the language Ted and Todd have for showing how they feel. Hannah says she can always tell when Ted and Todd have stopped by because some drywall will be sanded down or she'll notice a fresh coat of paint.

[Jackie Cohen]

They also always unplug my toaster because they don't want to catch fire. So you can always tell when they've been here because the toaster's unplugged. They're always sort of taking care of you. You just show up to your house and realize, oh, they've been here and they've taken care of some stuff cowboy style. Yeah, cowboy style. That's exactly it.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Hannah and Chase worry, though, that in cowboy style two, they suffer in silence.

[Jackie Cohen]

Because I love them. I hope for them that if we found Harry, it could. They could heal more from Scott's death.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Yeah, I think it would just be nice to know that she's doing good. That, like, she's like with people who let her cuss and do whatever she wants. Kind of like an outlaw. Yeah. Living the outlaw life. Yeah, that's exactly it. All right, well, I'm gonna do my best here. I'm gonna try to find Harry.

[Ted]

That would be good.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

O Armed with an old photograph of Harry, I set out on my search. Since Ted and Todd don't quite remember exactly where they surrendered. Harry, I begin my quest to find this bird of paradise by phoning Birds in Paradise. Birds in paradise is a pet store in Southern California, not far from where Scott lived. The owner, Lori, has had the store for decades and is an active member of the Southern California parrot community. If anyone would know how to find Harry. It seems like it would be Lori. So I explained to her the project to find a bright red toddler sized parrot named Harry who curses like a French sailor.

[Hannah]

It's completely impossible.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

But, like, isn't the macaw community in the area small enough that people would maybe through word of mouth be able to find.

[Hannah]

No. There's thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands of macaws in this world.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

And it turns out it's difficult to tell one macaw from another, even for an expert like Lori.

[Hannah]

And you don't know if something has happened to the bird, if it's been rehomed again.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Is there any resources that you can recommend?

[Hannah]

That's what the Internet's about. Do a Google search.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

I try to explain to Laurie that that's what the problem is. I've nothing to Google search for, but Laurie is insistent. It's just common sense, she says. With the Internet, you can simply Google search for whatever it is that you should be Google searching for.

[Hannah]

With the Internet nowadays, it does make things a lot easier. I mean, say I met a man and I was possibly interested him. First thing I would do is I'd do a search on him.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Okay, okay.

[Hannah]

I'll put it this way. I met a man at Disneyland a few months ago and seemed like a really nice guy and gave me his business card. He was a police officer.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Okay.

[Hannah]

And I found out that police officer is married.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Oh, my.

[Hannah]

And so let him know that I knew he was married and I thought it was wrong what he was doing, and I never spoke to him again.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

But you told him that you confronted him. Good for you.

[Hannah]

That's the kind of person I am.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

I tell Laurie that while I respect her sleuthing, her take no prisoner style, and the Internet as a whole, I don't know that any of this will help Ted and Todd. So Laurie offers one last glimmer of hope.

[Hannah]

They'll find out when they die one day and go to heaven if anything happened to that bird.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

That's beautiful. In the end, I do turn to the Internet, using it like it's 1995 all over again. And I just got an AOL complimentary CD ROM in the mail. I joined Facebook groups like the Parrot Posse and Lost and Found Cockatiels and other bird companions. I even bookmark a site called the Big List of National and International Bird Clubs. But that all yields nothing. So. As if it's 1895 all over again. Ahoy hoy. I turn to the telephone. Thank you for calling Annie's Mobile Bird Grooming Hi, Jonathan.

[Hannah]

This is Gail Bradford with Parrot Education.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

The landing's on. Parrot Sanctuary gives a permanent home. I only have one macaw. Is it red by any chance?

[Ted]

No, it's blue and gold.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Of everyone I speak with, nobody has seen any trace of Harry and nobody believes I'll ever be able to find her. To what do I owe the pleasure of this invitation? But then one day, my producer, Mona puts a meeting on my calendar. As you know, we've been trying to find this parrot. Oh, I know, Harry. I do know that. And I've been casting a wider and wider net because I feel like the feedback we've been getting is that like. It's just like a shot in the dark. That's a very generous appraisal of what we've been getting because to me it feels like it's been more like, no, this is insane. You are not going to find this bird. Stop trying to find this bird.

[Jackie Cohen]

Sure.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Mona explains that she's been poking around on pet databases and I found some other parrots who kind of like, had similar stories and looked old. And there was this one that came from this. What makes a parrot look old? I think you can tell you're getting too deep. They look grizzled. Should I be concerned? Okay, just please stay with me. Mona tells me her deep dive turned up a sanctuary we haven't tried yet. It's called Oasis. On the Oasis website, each of the hundreds of birds they house has its own profile page. Mona looked through every single one and that is when I found this. Oh, man. God. Wow. I don't know what to say. So this is a red macaw named Harry. Mm. Look at the right wing. I know. Oh, and look at the rings around the eye. Oh, no. Even the beak is similar. Like. Oh, this is compelling. This Harry looks identical to the photo of Harry that Ted and Todd sent me. So you have not called the Oasis sanctuary yet? I have not. I was thinking maybe we could do that now.

[Hannah]

The Oasis Sanctuary.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

This is Janet Trumbull, director of the oasis. With great excitement, I explain my quest. And his macaw was also named Harry. Oh. And so we begin comparing Harry's. The Harry who lives at the oasis, Janet tells me, arrived there as a Harry.

[Hannah]

Yep. He even says his name Harry.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Really?

[Hannah]

Yeah. So I know when we walk up to Harry, he always says, hi, Harry.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Janet refers to Harry as a he because she's done a DNA test. She says that otherwise it's nearly impossible to determine a parrot's biological sexual. So it would be understandable if Scott thought Harry a her. I asked Janet what else she can tell me about Harry.

[Hannah]

So he came to us from California.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Oh, not just California, Janet says, but Southern California. An hour and a half away from Yucca Valley, where Scott had lived. It seems Harry was taken in by a family with young children who teased and harassed him in their care. He grew increasingly aggressive, and so they had no choice but to surrender him to a woman in the area who fostered difficult birds. Eventually, she brought Harry to the oasis.

[Hannah]

She guessed his age at 22. I don't know how.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

OK, OK.

[Hannah]

He arrived in 2020.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Our Harry hatched in the late 90s. So 22 in 2020 lines up perfectly, Janet. That would be it, yeah. Oh, my goodness. Wow. This is very unexpected.

[Hannah]

Yeah, it's kind of cool.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

We found a macaw whose name is Harry, who's the right age and who's from the right place. So I get back in touch with Ted, Todd and the rest of the family. Hi, hi, hi, hi.

[Ted]

Hello.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

It's nice to see you all. I tell them about everything I've been up to over the last few months. The sanctuaries and bird groomers, the pet stores, Laurie's Disneyland gigolo. And finally, I show them the photo of the Harry who lives at Janet sanctuary in Arizona. Mm. Do you believe that this is Harry?

[Ted]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Absolutely, I do.

[Ted]

Sure. That's Harry. That's all they do. That's the first thing I thought. Yeah.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Ted and Todd are convinced this is Harry. But as a freshly minted bird journalist, I can't yet make the call. As Laurie told me, individual macaws are nearly impossible for people to identify. They all look the same. Birds, on the other hand, can tell humans apart just fine. So to truly confirm that this Harry is our Harry, we need to know whether he recognizes Ted and Todd. And for that, there's really only one thing to do. I guess what I'm winding up to here is I've Google mapped the bird sanctuary oasis. From this studio, it's a 14 hour road trip. I'm not suggesting that, you know, you leave right now and we hit the road like Muppet Movie style, but would you want to go there?

[Ted]

Yeah, sure.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Chase, is this Ted and Todd? When they're excited, you're getting like pinata happiness here.

[Ted]

I think with these two, it's hotter than hell in Arizona in July.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

But yeah, after the break, 800 miles to see about a bird foreign.

[Todd]

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[Jonathan Goldstein]

All right, we're here. Ultimately, there was no road trip. Instead, the family decided to fly to Arizona. Ted and Todd said it was the first time they've flown in nearly three decades. The last had been for their father's funeral. Ted and Todd, Chase, Hannah, Todd's daughter Jessica, and two grandkids all meet me in a Tucson Walmart parking lot.

[Jackie Cohen]

And then Ted and Todd jumped out because they were anxious to get out of the car and smoke.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Where are they smoking?

[Jackie Cohen]

Right by the propane tanks.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Are you serious? By the propane tanks? Hannah, as it turns out, is serious. I find Ted and Todd sucking down Paul Malls indeed beside the propane tanks, which, thankfully are empty.

[Ted]

Fucking humid. It's humid.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

As people pass by, they can't help staring a little too long at the two identical men, tall and slim, with long white hair. For Ted and Todd, who shy away from the limelight in all of its forms, who hate to be the focus of attention, to be so notable must be a special kind of hell. The rubberneckers rubberneck while Ted and Todd flash identical expressions on their identical faces. A look of complete BL cigarettes smoked. We all pile into Ted and Todd's SUV. From here, the Oasis and Harry are about 45 minutes away.

[Hannah]

Hi. Nice to meet you. Hi, Todd. Hi, Ted. Nice to meet you.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Janet greets us at the entrance of the sanctuary.

[Hannah]

All right, well, let's go ahead and go inside.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

So I'm thinking the Oasis is home to 22 separate aviaries housing hundreds of tropical birds, almost all of which, amazingly, Janet knows by name.

[Hannah]

This is Bubbles. He's a Patagonian Conure.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

There's Cosmo, Tootsie, Molly, Sammy, Toby and Modine. There's Oscar, a blue and gold macaw who, Janet tells us recently lost her mate. And Congo and Timmy, a pair of African Greys, There are two green wings, Tango and Cash, named for the Sylvester Stallone Kurt Russell film about two mismatched LAPD officers. But while that Tango and Cash enjoy shooting off firearms and punching people in the face, this Tango and Cash enjoy eating honeydew and filberts. Somewhere among all these birds is Harry.

[Hannah]

I was just saying, when you guys pulled up, Harry was screaming.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Do you think there is a chance that Harry will recognize these guys?

[Hannah]

It's very possible. It's hard to say. And because he's not a cuddly bird, you know, I'll have to kind of read his body language.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

As we get closer to Harry's enclosure, we suddenly hear Harry.

[Hannah]

Hi, Harry. Yes, hi, Harry.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

And there he is, shuffling around on a tree branch. Throughout this whole quest, with all the phone calls and Internet searching, I'd forgotten how beautiful these birds are. Harry's feathers are so vivid, he makes the world around him seem black and white. Harry looks like Saturday morning cartoons. 10,000 crayons, a sunset, and a room full of Gauguins all set on fire. Looking at him, it makes sense that the most colorful brother would choose a most colorful pet. But seated right beside Harry, almost wing to wing, is another very similar looking bird. It turns out that this is Harry's mate, Valentina. Harry met Valentina eight years ago at the refuge for difficult birds. They came to the oasis together, and Janet says Harry and Valentina are inseparable.

[Hannah]

Yep, they're always like that. Right together. And you can see he's being very protective of her. They have bonded very strong bonds, so we won't ever separate those two.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Harry sidles up to Valentina, and as he draws closer, I can see that while Harry is indeed beautiful, his feathers are ruffled and patchy and his tail is shredded. Janet says the loss of feathers is something he's done to himself. It's a behavior called plucking.

[Hannah]

It's very common for parrots in captivity to pluck.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

She says plucking can start when birds are stressed or frustrated or grieving.

[Hannah]

They do definitely grieve. Yeah, because their bonds are very deep.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Yeah. It's hard to tell how Janet's words are affecting Ted and Todd, but I suspect it might be adding to their guilt, exacerbating their own tendency to pluck at the many should'ves and could'ves.

[Hannah]

Talk to him. See if he remembers you.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

We all step back and allow Ted and Todd space to approach. All eyes are on them, and with all the self consciousness of two self conscious men who Must address a bird before a crowd of family and near strangers. Ted. They begin.

[Ted]

Hi, Harry. Hello, Harry. How are you?

[Hannah]

See, now she's responding.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Harry's body language shifts. He leans towards Ted and Todd.

[Hannah]

See how he's sitting forward?

[Ted]

It's okay.

[Hannah]

Look at him. He's just looking at him.

[Ted]

You're okay.

[Hannah]

So I see some recognition there.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

It looks like we found our bird. Harry starts to come closer, but Valentina reaches forward with her beak and tugs on his feathers.

[Hannah]

It looks like Valentina keeps pulling him back is what I'm seeing. Like he. He does want to engage, but then she says no. It gives him a little, little nip.

[Ted]

Yeah, she looks like she's getting upset. We can leave you alone. We can let you be, buddy.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Ted and Todd are reluctant to be a nuisance. They decide to leave the enclosure and we all file out. At last, Ted and Todd have found Harry. And although worse for wear, he's okay. Still, Ted and Todd don't seem satisfied.

[Ted]

Yeah, I think I just felt like, you know, you're. It's just disappointing.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

It's like they were hoping for something more, something closer to forgiveness. But what does forgiveness from a bird even look like?

[Ted]

Just go ahead and get out of here. That way. Yeah. I hate everybody watching. I hated everybody watching.

[Hannah]

Well, shall we go on?

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Half heartedly, Ted and Todd acquiesce and Janet continues the tour. She shows us the monk parakeets who look nothing like Tony Shalhoub.

[Hannah]

Smaller species conures, Quakers.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

She shows us the lovebirds of whom I consider asking Janet if she's ever caught making whoopee.

[Hannah]

Lovebirds can be extremely aggressive.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

But reconsider. And she shows us a rose breasted cockatoo. The Samantha Jones of the aviary.

[Hannah]

She loves men. I love men.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

While I'm having the time of my life watching nature's drones all throughout the tour, Ted and Todd lag behind. It's only while engrossed by a parrot named Lady Gray and her ability to repeat the word. Cracker.

[Ted]

Cracker.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Did you hear that, Cracker? Cracker. That I look around and see that Ted and Todd have disappeared. It's only later on when reviewing the tape, that I realize where they disappeared to.

[Ted]

Oh, I got ziri one last time. Yeah. Without the hoard.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Hmm.

[Ted]

Without the hoard.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Ted and Todd had doubled back to see Harry without the hoard.

[Ted]

Hi, guys. Hello, Harry. Hi, Harry. Where'd his girlfriend go? She's back over there. Oh, there she is.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

This time when Ted and Todd show up, just the two of them, Valentina Stands back and Harry makes his way down the branch. He seems to feel safe.

[Ted]

Yep.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

And Ted and Todd seem to feel safe too. Without the expectant eyes of the group upon them, they can finally ask the question they really want to ask that they've flown across the country for.

[Ted]

Remember Scott? Remember Scott. See that? He's watching.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Harry doesn't respond. But then Todd has an idea.

[Ted]

Harry, you son of a bitch.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

He starts cursing like a constipated French sailor.

[Ted]

Do it again, Todd. Goddammit, Harry. God damn it, Harry. Come here. Harry, Come here.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Harry takes a couple more Leery steps down his branch.

[Ted]

Yeah, it sounded like Scott.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Mm, it sounded like Scott, says Ted. Now, at this point, I've listened back to this tape hundreds of times. I'm not sure what I hear. It does kind of sound like he's saying Scott, sort of. But I guess it doesn't matter what I hear. What matters is what Ted and Todd hear. And it seems like they hear forgiveness.

[Ted]

Glad you're okay. Can I leave him alone? Yeah, probably. Bye, Harry. Say bye. Bye.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

The two near identical men wave goodbye to the two near identical birds.

[Ted]

I'm glad he's doing all right. Yeah, that's.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

And with that, Ted and Todd go back to the group. And Harry and Valentina go back to living that outlaw life. In the end, Harry has something neither Ted, nor Todd nor any human could have given him. He's paired in this world with one of his own. Of all people. Ted and Todd should be able to appreciate that. And so, with this last deed for their brother done, there's only one last deed to do.

[Ted]

Do you have a cigarette with you? Let's go back over here. They're gonna give us a bunch of shit about it. I don't know what to do with these shirts. No pockets. No this.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Sa. Now that the furniture is returning to its goodwill home, now that the last month's rent is scheming with the damaged deposit, take this moment to decide if we meant it, if we tried.

[Ted]

Or.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Felt around for far too much. From things that accidentally touched. This episode of Heavyweight was produced by Phoebe Flanagan, Mohini Mdowker and me, Jonathan Goldstein. Our senior producer is Kahlilah Holt. Our supervising producer is Stevie Lane. Special thanks to Mimi o' Donnell, Lauren Silverman and Kathryn Brewer. And special thanks, as always, to the one and only Jackie Cohen. Editorial guidance from Emily Condon. Bobby Lord mixed the episode with original music by Christine Fellowes. John K. Sampson, Blue Dot Sessions Emily and Bobby Lord. Additional music credits can be found on our website gimletmedia.com heavyweight our theme song is by the Weaker Thans, courtesy of Epitaph Records. Follow us on Twitter at Heavyweight or on Instagram heavyweightpodcast. And we have a new email address, heavyweightshowmail.com as you may have heard, this is our last episode as a show with Spotify. It's been eight years. I can't believe it. But we're looking for a new home, and I have a feeling we're going to be back soon. So please stay tuned, stay subscribed, and truly thank you for all the great years. Play us out Weaker Thans in an empty room sun in an empty room sun in an empty room Take 8 minutes and divide by 90 million lonely miles Empty room Watch a shadow cross the floor we don't live here anymore Sam.

[Ted]

Be entirely shocked of this thing even ever airs if What? If this thing ever airs. Oh, yeah, I wouldn't think so.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

ChatGPT plus is free for college students now through May. That means you have no limits on how many ways you can prompt ChatGPT to help you through the worst part of the school year. I spoke with producer and college graduate Khalilah Holt. Yeah, you can create any image you can think of in any style. Quick, give me an image. Sylvia Plath Jinks.

[Hannah]

Stand up Comedy ding.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Sylvia Plath happy at last. Thanks to ChatGPT. ChatGPT plus free for college students through May. Restrictions apply. You're listening to an iHeart podcast.