Podcast
Help Me Be Me
Hosted by Cloud10 · EN
Help Me Be Me is an emotional toolkit for creating positive change in yourself. I like to think of it as self-help for people who hate self-help. I'm Sarah May, coach/author/all-around happy person, and these are the tools that work for me in my life. For all of my offerings you can check out YayWithMe.com What I share on this show is my personal opinion. It's not a diagnosis for treatment or a substitute for professional help. If you're suffering, please reach out to your local emergency services or call 9-1-1. Find this podcast on YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/sarahmayb
26episodes
Episodes
Newest firstAll episodes
Ep 276: Enneagram + Fear: Overriding Defaults
2w ago00:52:17Tap to summarizeThis episode is about the underground engine that drives a lot of our choices, our reactions, and loops that keep us stuck. A lot of the things that block us are really overcompensations based in fear. They remain hidden from view because they are so engrained and we default to them because we are on autopilot due to stress. This is inspired by recent coaching I am doing, myself, around the enneagram! I am a fan of this framework, and I find it to be insightful. I highly recommend trying a test to see what your fear protection strategies might be. The main outcome of knowing your tendencies is being able to decide if you want to grow out of them. So many are different than we think they are/you may be mislabeling a lot of your current motives, now. Sending love! This is my enneagram coach’s site. Here's more info about the types. Sponsors: AquaTru.com - get 20% off your purifier using promo code HELPMEBEME Quince.com/helpme for free shipping and 365 day returns Wayfair.com to shop all things home Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcribe →Ep 275: Loss and Fear – Facing uncertainty as with a job loss
4w ago00:57:39Tap to summarizeWe often feel shattered when someone takes our identity away in some shape or form: a job, a relationship—a portrait of one’s self. This is an episode for anyone who lost a job or a relationship. An identity where you suddenly don’t know where to turn for grounding and solace. I am talking to a lot of people on the brink of an uncharted path. Right now industries are constricting, a lot of people are feeling scarce. I think this will also be relevant if you recently lost a relationship or any routine that kept you feeling a sense of self. Really dramatic change can be traumatic, but it can also forced growth. It can be really hard to not have a schedule: suddenly everything is yours to decide and validate. Without assignments and a role, it can be really hard to channel your energy: where do I even start? In this window of untethered life, my message to you is not to come from, “Who can I beg? Who would even take me?” which is fear/lack/scarcity. If you are in that state, know that what you need to do is give yourself love. And come home to all the power and greatness you are capable of. To get to that knowing – we need to tune our perspective. What we must return to is that energy of limitlessness, safety, spaciousness, empowerment. That place of “what do I truly love and care about – that is pure and unfettered within my soul?” That is a place that flows and creates value that no one else can replicate. We need to have that energy of agency: it’s having a feeling of safety within oneself. That is the emphasis in that sentence: within oneself. Sponsors:Betterhelp.com/helpmebeme - sign up and get 10% off your first month of therapyQuince.com/helpme for free shipping and 365 day returns Wayfair.com to shop all things home Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcribe →Ep 274: Fear Loops and How to Move Through Them
Apr 2400:56:25Tap to summarizeI want to bring up possible areas in your life where you are being driven by an old pattern: where motives are unconscious and not totally visible to you. Often these loops are reinforced by childhood boundaries we set up for good reasons – things that helped create stability in life. Things like a need to control. A need to be needed. A need to feel safe. This is about seeing patterns in your life so you can be truly guided by your best interests versus the stuff you are unconsciously afraid of. A lot of things we tend to avoid are also things that can be positive for us. This has a few tools for channeling power, confidence, present-mindedness. What has your life path set up for you? It has led you to where you are today for good reason. If you identify as high-functioning, there’s a thing that tends to happen where you crash and have that moment where you ask: am I happy? Is this sustainable? That is the shadow side of a very healthy set of skills. That is what we are exploring together, today. Sending love! Sponsors: cheershealth.com/helpmebeme - get 20% off your order with code HELPMEBEME Monarch.com code HELPME for 50% off your first year Quince.com/helpme for free shipping and 365 day returns Wayfair.com to shop all things home Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcribe →Ep 273: Healing Loneliness - Allowing Universe Energy
Apr 900:50:11Tap to summarizeNumbness, isolation, loneliness. The voice of fear takes many different shapes and forms, many of them don’t look like fear. The voice will reinforce a state of constriction and energy-saving: don't reach out, don't be vulnerable. To heal means being accessible to divine energy — to something greater than your current emotional state — requires asking for help and practicing openness. That is how we move out of loneliness instead of remaining locked in fear. And we also need to be in the places where that energy can actually reach us. It’s there all the time, all around us. The question is whether we can get into a position to receive it. If you’re chronically lonely the goal is to allow God in – or allow in the universal forces that expand you. Reaching openness means being accessible to change. We need to get out of the constricted state and enter the current. Plato had a concept of “ontos on” to describes "what really is," or, the really real: When something hits you as true, it’s associated with the permanent, timeless, and divine as opposed to fleeting physical existence. It’s a really important feeling for us to have: recognition of the really real. A moment when we are struck, when we recognize our human truths – when we are stirred. This is what we need to access in order for our lives to change, for positive change to be catalyzed. It doesn’t happen in a vacuum – we need to move outside of our tiny loop of fear and enter other spheres. That is what this episode is about. Sponsors: Betterhelp.com/helpmebeme - sign up and get 10% off your first month of therapy Monarch.com code HELPME for 50% off your first year Quince.com/helpme for free shipping and 365 day returns Wayfair.com to shop all things home Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcribe →Ep 272: What Healing Looks Like – Taking the You Out of It
Mar 2700:57:51Tap to summarizeWhen you really know innately that it’s not about you, you feel immediate relief in the face of any attack. It’s one thing to be in that place of confidence, legitimately. It’s another to want to be there but still be in a process of healing your emotional baggage. This episode is really about understanding what it looks and feels like to be healed. It’s aimed at giving yourself grace, relief, context for where you are and why. So that you can let go of a little bit of self-blame and also re-orient toward where it is you want to go. Healing and safety look different at different ages. We may need to boundary our lives very differently depending on the part of ourselves we are trying to grow. This is about growing out of ego and a habit of taking things personally. It’s a lifelong process that takes conscious attention. To not take things personally is the key to so much relief in life: It changes what you say, what you do, what matters. How long fights last, how much pain you endure. How much loneliness and HURT you endure. When we come home to a knowledge that “I am good, therefore, I need nothing in validation from others,” we can skip so much suffering and deflect what others put onto us. I hope that you can validate a new part of yourself today… Sponsors: Betterhelp.com/helpmebeme - sign up and get 10% off your first month of therapy Monarch.com code HELPME for 50% off your first year Quince.com/helpme for free shipping and 365 day returns Wayfair.com to shop all things home Marleyspoon.com/offer/helpmebeme up to 25 FREE meals Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcribe →Ep 271: What is my place in this world? Grounding in change
Mar 1301:00:43Tap to summarizeDo you have the luxury of focus? This is what I want to invite you to pause, foster and create. This is for grounding in the chaos of rapid change – for me that is in the face of tech. Right now there is an immediacy paralysis. “I have to do everything so I cannot do anything.” This is about how to get back to a sense of agency, focus, and the freedom to be creative. By creative I mean open, objective and flexible versus in a threat state. A lot of my episodes are born of a reaction in myself or something experienced by one of my clients– this is no different. It is a huge asset to be able to focus right now. To be effective and start somewhere grounded– is the goal. Sending love and I hope this helps! Sponsors: Betterhelp.com/helpmebeme - sign up and get 10% off your first month of therapy Monarch.com code HELPME for 50% off your first year Quince.com/helpme for free shipping and 365 day returns Wayfair.com to shop all things home Marleyspoon.com/offer/helpmebeme up to 25 FREE meals Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcribe →Ep 270: Dealing with Overwhelm + Calming Self
Feb 2700:36:59Tap to summarizeA lot of people right now are feeling overwhelmed. Emotionally, and in a focus sense. This can make you feel like you cannot find internal refuge: that there’s no way to refresh a positive attitude because worries occupy too much space. Thankfully, we have neuroplasticity. We can teach ourselves out of worry and scarcity. It starts with awareness of the state we are in– and then an intention to calm. And come home to the present. From here we have the agency to change. This is for gracefully moving through a state of overwhelm. It is also about being a grownup: keeping the shine when life gets gnarly. There will be times when we feel overcome, but this too is a time to be great and reorient your POV. We are in a very transitional year – change is happening fast. Take heart, be gentle and loving with yourself. Be seen and connect to others in a loving, healing way. And smile. Sending love. To support our sponsors: Wayfair.com to shop all things homeMarleyspoon.com/offer/helpmebeme for up to 25 FREE meals Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcribe →Ep 269: Soothing the Pit of Anxiety: Working through catastrophizing
Feb 1301:05:47Tap to summarizeThat state of obsession with a worry. The spins, as I call it—where your brain comes back again and again, telling long elaborate stories about a made-up, not good future. This is your body on worry: sick, tense, and a bit dead in that a part of you is not in the present. Regardless of the probability behind the fear you’re focused on, all of this is inside your head and therefore totally optional. None of it exists in reality. If this is you right now, I want to remind you that this can be an opportunity for growth –all friction creates material for momentum toward growth and change. Try to reframe this as such. This episode is a “talk down” for getting out of this loop of thinking and into a state of presence and creativity. Sending love! Sponsors: Betterhelp.com/helpmebeme - sign up and get 10% off your first month of therapy Monarch.com code HELPME for 50% off your first year Quince.com/helpme for free shipping and 365 day returns Wayfair.com to shop all things home Marleyspoon.com/offer/helpmebeme up to 25 FREE meals Hungryroot.com/HELPMEBEME and use code HELPMEBEME to get 40% off your first box and a free item of your choice for life Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcribe →Ep 268: Prompting Life - You are what you believe
Jan 3000:46:35Tap to summarizeThis is about coming from intentionality versus the myopia of fear. It’s about the power of what we say to ourselves to expect. What we intend creates reality. The first thing I wanted to describe to you is the power of having a clear intention when you walk into any sphere – for example, your next conversation. Make your self-definition your north star as you enter that room. For example, saying to yourself, “My goal is to inspire with creativity, to connect in love, to come from wholeness, and to be funny.” Life is based on a prompt, in that thoughts are prompts: we choose what will be with the intent we have when we walk into any situation. This is about being aware of this and really examining areas where fear might be blocking love and truth. We get clouded energetically by fear and we shed parts of ourselves through our lifetime because we are afraid to care about something too much. Fear of loss causes us to abandon who we really are in small ways. So this is an episode that will hopefully reconnect you with parts of yourself through journaling. Sending love!! Sponsors: Wayfair.com to shop all things home MarleySpoon.com/offer/helpmebeme for up to 25 FREE meals Hungryroot.com/HELPMEBEME and use code HELPMEBEME to get 40% off your first box and a free item of your choice for life armoire.style/HELPMEBEME to get up to 60% off your first month Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcribe →Ep 267: Negative Feedback Loops + Reviving Love
Jan 1600:52:20Tap to summarizeThis episode will hopefully give you an epiphany! Negative feedback loops have a huge impact on intimate relationships. They are also a major factor in self-perception: perception of your life and what others mean to you. We base our opinions of our relationships on the signals we receive from them, which, in turn, create return signals. There are two selves we inhabit: the “whole self” and the “fear self”. These two selves make very different decisions and they act from very different places. The fear self will come from childhood powerlessness where the motive is always to grasp for control and “fix it.” This self operates from a fictional and dysfunctional belief that it is possible and also our job to fix things. The whole self comes from truth. That self knows where the boundary between self and other stands. The whole self can detach with love when necessary and also see when they need to be accountable and give more. The goal is to always act from the whole self and also give love unconditionally. This episode has tools to get to that wholeness and also restore the love that gets eroded by negative feedback loops – the ones that occur when both parties are reacting from fear and a misinterpretation of the other person’s cues. SENDING LOVE!!! Sponsors:Betterhelp.com/helpmebeme - sign up and get 10% off your first month of therapyMonarch.com code HELPME for 50% off your first yearQuince.com/helpme for free shipping and 365 day returns Wayfair.com to shop all things homeMarleyspoon.com/offer/helpmebeme up to 25 FREE mealsHungryroot.com/HELPMEBEME and use code HELPMEBEME to get 40% off your first box and a free item of your choice for life Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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