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Her Style Podcast | Shopping, Color Palettes, Fashion, Wardrobe, Outfits, Clothing
243 | How to Look Good Feel Good After 40 with Lara Frendjian
00:34:20
Please don’t ask me how, but it’s already JUNE, which means swimsuit and BBQ season is officially here for those of us in the northern hemisphere. And with the summer season comes a lot of conversations in our community about how we look and feel...
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- [00:00]
Heather Riggs
Please don't ask me how, but it's already June, which means swimsuit and barbecue season is officially here for those of us in the Northern Hemisphere. And with the summer season comes a lot of conversations in our community about how we look and feel in our bodies. As much as I love empowering you to show up at your most confident on the outside, we can't ignore the importance of taking care of ourselves on the inside. If you've been feeling frustrated about changes in your shape and size, energy or overall mood, I want to help you get to the root cause and find some practical solutions to start feeling better today. So I recruited my sweet friend Lara Frenjian onto the podcast to lend her expertise. Lara is a registered holistic nutritionist and life Coach with over 10 years of experience helping women achieve their health and weight loss goals. She's also host of the Master your metabolism after 40 podcast and a gold mine of information on naturally balancing your hormones, losing weight without diets or deprivation, and reclaiming your health at absolutely any age. In this episode, Laura shares some of the top signs of perimenopause to look out for why your weight might be fluctuating even though you're doing all the right things and what to do about it. Her top secrets to unlocking your vitality in your 40s and beyond and the number one thing you can do right now to start transforming your health and setting yourself up for long term success. I know you are going to soak up every word of this conversation, so grab a notebook and pen because you are going to want to jot down all of Lara's practical tips to look good and feel good after 40. Welcome to her Style podcast where we're all about empowering you to show up and get dressed every day with confidence. I'm your host Heather Riggs, a 15 year and counting certified image consultant and color specialist ready to build a wardrobe and a personal style you love. Let's get started. I know everyone is going to be so excited to hear from you, especially as we are pretty much coming into the throes of summer and it is bathing suit season and shorts and all of the things and we all want to be able to really look and feel our best and most confident all year long. But I think in particular this time of year can bring up some hang ups for some of the women. So I'm excited to get your expertise on how we can really look and feel better. But before we dive into all the juicy details, I would love for you to start by telling us A little bit about your story and your journey and really the origin of your business. Nutrition her way.
- [02:41]
Lara Frenjian
Sure. So nutrition is my second career. I first started off in accounting and finance. I'm a CPA. I did that for about 15 years. And then I reached a point in my life where I thought, like, I mean, nutrition has always been a passion of mine. It was just a side passion. I'd research it. I do my own thing. And then in 2014, I decided to go back to school and do it while I was still working as a corporate controller. So I did that for a couple of years, and then I really started practicing in 2016. So, you know, I practiced, and I loved it. And I was feeling great and gleaning from all of the nutrition stuff that I learned. But then I hit a phase of probably around 2020, where the things that I was doing weren't working anymore, meaning I was doing all this stuff that I knew to do as a nutritionist. But my health was deteriorating, and I started to develop new things that I'd never experienced before in the past, like eczema showed up out of nowhere. I was extremely bloated, and I started to develop food sensitivities. I was anxious and irritable and tired, and, like, my PMS just went through the roof. I wasn't sleeping well, and I thought, what? And I started gaining weight, and I thought, what is happening to my body? I have no idea what's happening. I go to my doctor. We run a bunch of lab work. But she says this word, perimenopause. She's like, well, it could be perimenopause. I thought, what? I'm way too young to be going through perimenopause. I was, yeah, I live about. Yeah, four or five years ago. 44, 45. And she's like, yeah, it could be perimenopause. And so the research started. Like, my lab work came back. Hormones were all within range. Everything was hunky dory. My thyroid was fine. My cholesterol started to go up a little bit. My a. My glucose levels started to go up a little bit. But nothing concerning everything was still healthy and within range. So the blood work wasn't really telling the story of really what I was experiencing physically, because I felt like I was losing my mind. And so that's when everything changed. And that's when I started to really dig in. I looked into bioidentical hormone replacement therapy. I parked that, and I thought, I really need to get to understand what's happening in this phase of life to women. Because I started to talk to people, and they're like, yeah, I'm experiencing things, too. And it was like this hidden secret that no one talked about. Now, five years later, people are talking more about it. Like, perimenopause is a word that we're throwing around, and, you know, Oprah's talking about it, and people are actually talking about it. But even five years ago, nobody was talking about it. And so I switched gears. I. Yeah, and then we could talk about what I did. But essentially, I dug my heels in and I dug into research. I took every program course that I could get my hands on, and I got to the root in piecing the puzzle together of what is happening and how to deal with it for me without hormone replacement therapy. So, yeah, that's my story.
- [06:10]
Heather Riggs
Wow, friend, that is amazing. And I feel maybe a little selfishly like this is such a pertinent conversation to have. I just turned 40 last year, and I know I'm like, I'm coming up on the cusp of this, and I really want to know for myself. And I'm sure everyone listening who maybe has not come through to the other side of a menopausal journey really wants to know, tell us you shared a little bit of the symptoms that were coming up for you. But let's dive into that more specifically are some of the top signs to watch out for with perimenopause. And we're also going to talk about some of your tips to navigate these kinds of physical changes in our body. So I definitely want to hear about what you did and what we can all do to work through this. But let's start with what are some of the signs?
- [06:58]
Lara Frenjian
Yeah, I mean, we all hear about hot flashes and night sweats, but it's so much more than that. I mean, I would say the first thing that I would say is, like, it starts early. So for me, I noticed some changes at about 35, and perimenopause could start. These hormonal shifts that we go through could start as early as 35. So it kind of like, you hear, you feel whispers of it, and, you know, some of the things that you might feel whispers around are your periods changing. So your periods might become more frequent because progesterone, essentially, progesterone and estrogen are really changing, and progesterone is declining, declining. And so your regularity of cycles might change. So I was still very regular, but I went from 28 days to 26 days to 24 days, and then from There it went erratic. So that's the first sign I think is like that. And maybe pms, like where you weren't experiencing PMS before, now you are experiencing PMS symptoms. I remember like my bra size would change throughout the month and I just thought that was normal. And maybe post kids this was happening because it wasn't happening when I was younger, but it started to happen later on, you know, after I had my kids and in my early 30s. So just, you know, we always find reasons why things are happening and it feels normal because so many people around us are experiencing the same things. So but it's not. PMS is not normal. Very common, but not normal. Hot flashes are common, but not normal. So I've gone through this period in my life of change, but I've never had a hot flash. My anxiety is gone. My digestive symptoms are completely gone. Like I have, I'm a gardener and I was out gardening, like planting everything under the sun. And I was telling my husband, I feel like I have so much more energy. Like before, I'd have to break up the gardening over course of days. I feel like energizer bunny now because I could just, I could do all my gardening in a day. And my body's like, you could keep going if you want to, but you know, we have to stop at some point. But so some of the symptoms are. It's like a second puberty where you really body starts to change. And depending on where you're gaining weight is the indication of what kind of hormonal shifts you're experiencing. So a lot of us will gain weight in the middle. Our hips and thighs will get thicker, maybe our arms will get thicker. This like, will become more curvy. Kind of like, you know, as we went through puberty, we become even a little bit more curvy. We experience a lot of low energy. Like the, the one number one pain point is low energy, where really the person is just starting to drag herself through the day. Lots of energy crashes in the afternoon. These sugar cravings, this brain fog that sets in that's like, you can't just shake your head. Like you just want to shake your head and start thinking clearly again, but you can't. You go for your second cup of coffee. Anxiety, irrit, anger, these are prominent emotions that are starting to pop up. And cravings, you're craving a lot more sugar than you might used to. And it's like this really sticky weight gain that happens. Like nothing you do. For me, it was like overnight I felt like I Breathed. I woke up the next day, I gained, like, 10 pounds. And so this sudden weight gain happens. And the other thing is, like, maybe the doctor might start to talk to you about your lab work, and she'll say something like, oh, your cholesterol seems to be increasing, or you gotta watch your glucose levels. They're on the rise. Maybe pre diabetes conversation might happen. So these are all the things that might be happening. There's lots more itchy skin and all this stuff, but these are the most common things that I see.
- [10:58]
Heather Riggs
Well, you're making this sound like a really magical time, Lara, but this is honestly fascinating, and there's so much that I want to do dive into. And I definitely want as many of your secrets as you're willing to dish out in this episode. But one of the things that my ears really perked up hearing was you mentioning the fluctuations in your bra size and that your. Where you gain weight in your body can tell you something about your hormones. So can we touch on those two points a little bit more? Just because something that I hear tons in my community is the frustration over fluctuating sizes and weight gain and loss and how difficult it is to build a wardrobe you love when you are constantly shifting between sizes. So anything else that you can give us in terms of tips on handling that and how you encourage people to navigate these physical changes in our bodies, maybe through diagnosis, but also, what can. What are some things that we can do to start preventing this?
- [11:54]
Lara Frenjian
Really good question. So it's interesting. I just got off the phone with a client, and she was telling me that she would gain £15 every month around her cycle. £15. £15 is a lot of weight. Yeah. And since she. We've been working together, she said that just stopped. Okay. So maybe we could talk about what she did. So the reason we gain weight, it's a lot of it, is water weight. There's no way you can gain 15 pounds of fat within one or two weeks. Not physically possible unless you're eating, like, a whole whack of calories. And I'll tell you, most women that I'm working with, they're eating very little. They're trying.
- [12:35]
Heather Riggs
That's what's frustrating. Right. It's like you're trying to do all the right things.
- [12:39]
Lara Frenjian
Yes. So let's talk about what we did with her. Okay. Because she's a perfect example. So most of us are grazers. We're eating little foods. We're really trying hard to eat well, but we're not eating enough. And what's interesting is that our nutrient intake requirement goes up as we get older. So we're told to eat less and move more. But the micronutrients that we need go up. So I'll give an example of calcium. So we know that on average, you know, our calcium intake requirements increases as we age. That's the truth for all of our. The micronutrients like the vitamins and minerals in our diet. But what are we doing? We're eating less in order to keep our weight, like, keep our body in check. So the first thing we did is like, stop the grazing, stop the little meals, and stop the, you know, because every time you eat, something called insulin resistance sets in. It's a symptom. Okay? It's not the root issue. The root issue is a whole slew of other things that we'll talk about. But the really, what we try to do is control the weight with the way that we eat. So we stop having breakfast. We will fast. We'll go into intermittent fasting. We will have coffee in place of breakfast. Thinking, okay, you know what? It helps me give. It gives me energy. I'm not eating any calories. So we do all these things, but they're actually backfiring. So the first thing you do is stop that insanity. Go back to balance. Okay, so three balanced meals per day. Stop fasting. I'll talk about it, about fasting in a second. But three balanced meals, what is that? Well, you need protein, you need fat, and you need some carbohydrates. So what I like to do is keep breakfast and dinner lower. Carbohydrates. Still have some carbohydrates, but like, let's say 25. 20% of the meal is coming from carbohydrates. You're getting 25% from protein. And then it's a higher fat meal, which is, you know, very counterintuitive for us. But what that does is it helps stabilize blood sugar. Protein and fat stabilize blood sugar. And so with all of the changes that's happening to your body, it causes a lot of stress, and stress causes your glucose levels to go up and down. That's why insulin resistance sets in, because every time. And that causes your body to hold on to water weight, insulin. So what we need to do is stabilize things and so have a good breakfast, have a good dinner, and then have your carbs at lunch. I'm not saying have a bad lunch, but what you do in the morning dictates what happens to your body for the rest of the day. So they've done studies on, let's say a carbohydrate rich breakfast versus a protein rich breakfast. You can never recover, the blood sugar will never recover from that poor choice at breakfast, let's say milk and cereal glucose levels will not stabilize no matter how perfect lunch is, no matter how perfect dinner is. But if you get breakfast right, your glucose levels will be stable throughout the day, even if breakfast and dinner, sorry, lunch and dinner are not ideal. So that first meal, when we're having that coffee, when we're fasting, it's messing the rest of the day and it's just setting you up for failure. Because how many of us have done this? You have coffee for breakfast or you think you have a healthy breakfast, but there's like very little protein in it and it just looks pretty. Right. And then we go to lunch and we'll have a salad, a healthy salad for lunch with very little nutrients in it, like very little calories. It's like a 200 calorie lunch. And then we go to dinner. Maybe we'll have a pristine dinner. And then you're like raiding the pantry at 10 o' clock at night because you're famished or you just feel like, I need something, I need something to eat. Well, you've just starved yourself the entire day and now your body's catching up on nutrients. It needs like there's research to say if you're low in magnesium, your body will continue to prompt you to eat until you get some magnesium into your body. Even if you've had an excess amount of calories, your body's still going to prompt you to eat. Why? Well, your body wants you to survive. So just three balanced meals. Don't snack in between. Have it enough like, so it satiates you and, and then you can fast overnight. Like a very easy thing is 12 hour fast. Our body is under stress, so it doesn't do well with a lot of fasting until you stabilize that stress. Now I can fast again, but for a period of time I had to kind of park the intermittent fasting and I, but I was comfortable with doing a 12 hour overnight fast. So don't skip breakfast, but fast over the evening hours. So kind of set yourself up with sunrise and sunset. So if it's dark outside, stop eating and then, you know, wait until the morning until you break your fast and just be reasonable, just be reasonable with yourself in this stage of life.
- [18:18]
Heather Riggs
Oh my goodness, I am learning so much. I have tried fasting in the morning, but I have never thought about the importance of doing it in the evening instead of in the morning. So thank you for setting us straight and kind of flipping that around. And I almost don't want to say anything the rest of the episode. I just want to let you talk because you have so much wisdom around this. So I would love to know if there are any other tips, but I feel like you just gave us a really great boost to kickstart our weight loss journey and getting hormones and insulin levels back on track without diets and deprivation. Because you're talking about actually eating and working for satiation and instead of depriving yourself, which is so critical and something that is, like you said, counterintuitive to what we try to do. So I know you also talk a lot about unlocking your vitality in your 40s and you mentioned that you have more energy and are feeling better than ever. So tell us a little bit more about how, aside from diet alone, what are some other things that you have done to feel your best, no matter your age? I want all your juicy secrets, Clara.
- [19:22]
Lara Frenjian
So the first thing is, which we can't really get into this, but I talk about dealing with your root metabolic issues. So we have very unique bodies and we need a very unique solution. So that's why the diet that I have might not work for you. So we all have a baseline that we can start with. And that's where I start. Most of my clients is like, okay, let's eat in a balanced way, three meals a day and then we reassess us. But as we do that, and that's why this client was like, the weight gain stopped. The 15 pound fluctuation in any given month is we started to deal with her root metabolic issues. And what does that mean? Well, we all have a fingerprint, right? It's, it's very unique to us and that's how our body is. So my imbalances are very different from yours. So one of the things that we, I do is get clients to run blood work and run a hair tissue test. And coupled with their symptoms, we, it paints a picture of what's going on in their body. And then we work on addressing those root issues. And often it's nutrient imbalances, low nutrients like magnesium, sodium, potassium, their electrolytes are off, their iron levels are off, either high or low. And if you look at hormones, hormones run on minerals. Like, that's why you can get hormone balanced even as you're getting older. So even if your hormone levels are declining, which all of our hormones are going to decline, Like I'm not going to produce as much progesterone as I did in my 20s. Why? Well, progesterone is a procreation hormone. It has other roles, but it helps you conceive. So it's not. I, I'm in a place where my body doesn't want to conceive anymore. I'm not going to ovulate, but I should be able to produce enough progesterone to function optimally. That's why now I sleep through the night, whereas I couldn't sleep before. Because now my body's producing the right amount of progesterone. My stress levels have gone down, so it's not focused on survival of cortisol hormone, but now it's producing reproductive hormones. Now my insulin levels have come down and they're within range again. So it's dealing with your root issues and that's truly how you find vitality. But something that we could all do is tune into our body. Okay, so listen to what your body is telling you and start to make changes from that place. And I'll talk a little bit about that more. But. So the first thing you do is get to your root issues and the next thing is like start to make changes from a place of curiosity. So the two things that I was going to talk about before is one, focusing on good quality sleep. So in addition to kind of like my four non negotiables are three balanced meals, no snacking in between, try to fast overnight. 4, 3, Focus on good quality sleep. Sleep is king in my books. And then the fourth one is just move. So a lot of us over move like we're doing the hit workout, we're running still. Every time I would run, I'd like need a nap afterwards. So I started to pay attention, like maybe this thing isn't working for me anymore and I'd feel puffy. That was a cortisol spike and that was a histamine issue. And like my body was doing all these things that was telling me, girl, you gotta stop this, like it's not working for you anymore. So very simple thing we could do especially to start to address the insulin resistance that's setting in that's causing us to gain water weight and also gain fat. Because insulin is a fat storage hormone is to walk after meals just a very, I mean the weather's nice out. We can all do a really kind of a brisk walk after a meal, but not because we have to be mindful of spiking our cortisol levels too high, breathe through your nose so fast enough that you have a heart rate increase, but slow enough that you can still breathe comfortably through your nose, because if you start mouth breathing, you will spike your cortisol levels. So just a brisk walk where you're getting some cardiovascular benefits, but, you know, still not stressing your body out. I would say if you start to do those four things, you will see a difference in everything. Your weight, your energy, your mind. Yeah, it's. It's pretty effective across the board, friend.
- [24:11]
Heather Riggs
I'm taking copious notes. This is absolutely amazing. And I really respect your approach because it's. It's exactly like what I teach about fashion. Right. There are some good basic fundamentals that everyone can do, but at the end of the day, we also need to personalize it because not everybody wants the same wardrobe, and not everyone is starting with the same nutrient levels, the same benchmarks. And so I really appreciate that you do want to take a personalized look at what's going on at a metabolic root issue for each and every individual person, and that's how you can get them the best, fastest results, even though there's not a quick fix. I appreciate you giving us a few starting points that can really get things back into gear.
- [24:53]
Lara Frenjian
Sure, yeah.
- [24:55]
Heather Riggs
So we talked a lot about some of the downsides and the symptoms to keep an eye out for, but I also want to talk about some of the stigmas that we need to let go of when it comes to menopause. In your experience, that's really good.
- [25:09]
Lara Frenjian
I mean, I say the best. The first thing is, like, we expect that our health is just going to deteriorate. Like, we expect things to go downhill, but they truly do not have to. I've seen most of the women I work with are mid-40s, so between 40 and 50, but I have clients in their 60s. I've had clients in their 70s and 80s. I think 83 was my oldest client. My mom is, like, the. My biggest fan, and she, like, hangs on my every wor, and so she's reaped the benefits of the changes. So I don't care what age you are, you can get healthier and your body can release weight without punishing yourself. So I'd say that's the first thing is, like, there's so much hope. When I was going through my stuff, it felt really hopeless because I felt like I was not in control of my mind, which was the biggest struggle, and my body was my second struggle. Like, I felt like I. I didn't even know who I was anymore. And it does not have to be that, that way. So health is not downhill. I'm stronger and leaner now at 49 than I was. Truly, I can say this at 29. So my body composition, I'm happier with it now than I was before, which is absurd. Right. Like, people, that's not how we think. We think it's just going to get worse. Has bought my body changed. Absolutely. But I'm strong, I'm lean, I can go like I could. I'm more active than I ever was before. So it's. Life is not over. You can be healthy, you can feel confident, you can feel sexy, you can have good libido. Like, it's really not downhill. And it, you can have your femininity until well after menopause. And I think that just, you know, it's, it's our, it's our God given gift, honestly, to live in a healthy, thriving body. And I feel like it's a very empowering period because I don't know about you, but as I get older, I care a little bit less about what other people think. You know, opinions of others don't govern my life anymore. So if you can imagine feeling well and then having that mindset shift, it's like we can become real powerhouses in this stage of our lives, real influencers. Right. In a positive way. And you help a woman, you help an entire village. Right. Like an entire community could change. So, yeah, I just, I feel like it's just a very good period in our lives where it could be amazing if we could just deal with our, our stuff.
- [28:06]
Heather Riggs
Yes, 100%. And I'm, I'm with you on feeling more confident, more secure in my own decisions with every passing year. And I love that you are making this so approachable because a lot of times I think we'll see celebrities who kind of age backwards and sometimes there's the assumption of like, oh, she paid a lot for that. But what you're saying is there are things that we can do to really help set us up for success and feel more energetic and amazing as we continue on. And I think that's a really important message, that it's not downhill from there. So, Laura, I just kind of want to wrap up with and you've given us so many amazing doable tips just to walk away with from this episode. But if there is like one thing that you would want everyone to leave this conversation and go do, where do we start? What is like that number one takeaway that you want everyone to, to get from this conversation.
- [29:02]
Lara Frenjian
So I would say to start making changes from a place of your deep why? Okay, so I get everyone, like one of the very first weeks. So clients will come into my program and they're like, tell me what to eat, like now. And I'm like, just hang on one sec. The first thing that I get them to do is actually really anchor in and develop a vision for their life. And where do they want to be in six months, a year, five years and anchor into a deep why? Why is this critical for you? What do you want your life to look like? How will this change impact your life, your relationships, how you show up, the purpose that you have for your life and anchor from there? Because you know, I'm not after an overnight fix. We can, I can, I can help you lose 30 pounds very quickly, but it's not necessarily sustainable and it's definitely not healthy. You will regain it with a vengeance. So we can all lose weight, but I want you to, I want to bump into a year, five years, six years, 10 years, and you're getting better and better with age and your body's getting healthier with age. And so that's what I want. And I think one of the things that really anchors us so we don't throw in the towel when we don't see the quick results that we want is to anchor into our why and continue on the journey of health. Because things happen. I was telling my client this morning, sometimes the healing journey, you will have really down days. And when, like when you feel really tired and those days are actually, I savor them because I know the body's doing deep healing work. When it feels tired, it's telling you to rest and that's when it's doing its restorative work. So it's not this overnight thing. And we really need to anchor ourselves in a deep why? To keep us going in the right direction. When life's life gets hard or when we go on vacation and we forget about the healthy eating or. You know what I mean? Or it just gets hectic and work is busy and we throw in the towel, it's like, no, we need that why? To anchor us and to help us keep going so it becomes very sustainable and a life changing change that we've made.
- [31:33]
Heather Riggs
What a beautiful perspective. I know that this isn't the point that you wanted to make in what you just said, but I know for me, I tend to feel really frustrated when I have those down days when I just feel exhausted and unmotivated and I tend to try to push myself harder. But what an incredible perspective shift to say no, my body needs to restore and rejuvenate today and to really give yourself that permission to embrace it instead of fighting against it. And I agree 100%. It's so important to have those why's because life is going to life and and get busy. And I know for me too that the days that I am overtired or I'm overstressed are the days that I don't take care of myself as well. I don't eat the way that I know serves me best. So it's really important to have that bigger why to keep coming back to when it feels hard. So Laur, oh my gosh, you are amazing. I know everyone is going to run a run to get more information from you, to work with you. So tell us the best way to connect and to keep the conversation going.
- [32:33]
Lara Frenjian
Sure. Well, since you're on this platform listening to a podcast, I highly encourage you to tune into mine. It's called master your metabolism after 40. And I have weekly I. Yeah, there's two episodes a week and I, I share a lot of information. Like it's interesting. Clients will come to me and they'll be like, you know what? After like in the intake forms. Well, I was feeling this way, but since listening to the podcast, I've implemented these changes and this is what I'm feeling. So there's I. At the end of each podcast I'll give you an actionable tip that you can start to implement and it's just the small things that accumulate over time. So yeah, meet me there and if you really want to connect, you can shoot me a message and we can chat offline.
- [33:19]
Heather Riggs
Laura, thank you so much for being here, for sharing all of your insights. I know people are gonna be, like I said, rushing into your DMs to get more, so we'll probably have to have you back too. Thank you so much for your time today.
- [33:30]
Lara Frenjian
Thank you so much.
- [33:31]
Heather Riggs
Heather. Thank you for listening to today's episode. If you want to stop copying everyone else's style and start dialing in your own swoon worthy signature look, head over to take my free 5 minute personal style quiz which you can find at the link in the show notes. If you've enjoyed our time together, please be sure to rate, review and subscribe to her style podcast so you never miss an episode. Finally, I invite you to make this a two way conversation and send me a DM over on Instagram eatherigstyle to let me know how I can best support you on your style journey. I'm always, always here for you in style and service. Until next time.