← Her Style Podcast | Shopping, Color Palettes, Fashion, Wardrobe, Outfits, Clothing
Her Style Podcast | Shopping, Color Palettes, Fashion, Wardrobe, Outfits, Clothing
286 | Shopping for Your Real Life (Not the Fantasy One in Your Head)
00:12:08
Loading summary
Transcript1 lines
- [00:01]
A
When you look at your closet, do your clothes reflect the life you're living right now or the one you picture in your head? For many women, this is where things start to break down. We buy the sequin dress for someday, the heels that sit on the shelf gathering dust, the fancy blouse that feels great on the hanger but awkward on a Tuesday zoom call. And then we wonder why we're constantly frustrated standing in front of a full closet saying we have nothing to wear. Fantasy shopping is one of the biggest confidence drains in a wardrobe. It leaves us surrounded by things that don't fit our actual lives. So when it's time to get dressed, we feel disconnected from ourselves. But when you learn to shop for the life you actually lead, the meetings, the errands, the coffee dates, the family get togethers, you build a wardrobe that supports you, builds confidence, and helps you show up as the woman you already are. That's what I want to talk about with you today. How to shift from shopping for the fantasy to shopping for reality, and why this single change can transform the way you feel in your clothes. Welcome to Her Style podcast where we're all about empowering you to show up and get dressed every day with confidence. I'm your host, Heather Riggs, a 15 year and counting certified image consultant and color specialist, ready to build a wardrobe and a personal style you love. Let's get started. Since tomorrow is Halloween and it just so happens to be my favorite holiday, I couldn't resist bringing this into our conversation today. We all know that Halloween is about playing dress up and trying on a new Persona just for one night. Whether that's something spooky or glamorous or completely silly. But the thing is, so many women are unintentionally doing the same thing with their everyday wardrobes. They're dressing for the fantasy version of their lives instead of the real beautiful life they're living right now. They're it might be buying outfits for events that rarely happen in your real schedule, like formal gowns, sky high heels, or vacation clothes for trips that you haven't even planned. There's no judgment around this either. I've already told you multiple times about discovering I had over 32 cocktail dresses in my closet at one time and I didn't have a properly fitting bra. And sometimes it looks like dressing for a future version of you. The one who lives in a big city or runs a different kind of business or spends weekends at chic rooftop parties. There are lots of reasons that this can happen. I know that we all want to feel a little bit more glamorous. Or maybe you're comparing yourself to what you see on Instagram or Pinterest. Or we're simply bored with our everyday routines and we want something that feels more exciting at our fingertips. But the problem is that these purchases don't usually make us feel any better. They just create a closet that feels more like a costume shop than a reflection of your life. And every time you open those doors, instead of feeling that excitement, you end up feeling guilt about the money wasted or feeling shame that you're not that woman of your fantasy life. And then the frustration of staring at racks of clothes with nothing that really works for you. If you have the very real struggle of a closet full of clothes and nothing to wear on Halloween, we expect costumes. We know we're just playing pretend. But when our day to day wardrobe becomes a costume filled with clothes for a life that doesn't match our reality, that's when it comes to really starts to chip away at our confidence. And so I want to share a little secret about what women who dress with intention do differently. I'm talking about the ones who consistently look stylish and confident. They're not necessarily buying more clothes or even more expensive clothes. They're simply buying differently. They are focusing on their real lives. They think about their actual calendars. I'm talking about the work meetings, school drop offs, casual dinners, weekend errands and special events that genuinely come up for them. And then they are investing in pieces that elevate those everyday moments. It's kind of like meal prepping for the week. You don't stock your fridge with lobster tails and champagne. Or maybe you do and then you need to have me over for dinner. But you don't do that if your week is full of packed lunches and quick family dinners before soccer practice. You're gonna buy what you'll actually cook and enjoy. Leaders do the same with their wardrobes. They shop for the life they really live. And when your wardrobe matches your lifestyle, you can stop battling with your closet every day. You're no longer surround clothes that don't fit your real life needs. Instead you're going to find yourself reaching for pieces that make sense, that feel authentic, work effortlessly and give you confidence in the situations that you face every day. And that is the key difference. Women with a well curated closet aren't waiting for someday. They're showing up fully for today. I can relate to this so much. I will tell you. My life changed dramatically after I became a mom in all the best ways, but the needs for my wardrobe suddenly became much more practical and casual, and they still are that way today. I went from working with clients in person to and traveling a ton to working almost 100% virtually and being at home 90% of my time. My weekends were full of social activities and as I said, we took a lot of trips at the time and now they look like walking around at a local festival on a Saturday afternoon or carting our son to and from baseball games. And it's been amazing and I'm trul enjoying each season of my life as it comes. But the dramatic side of my style has taken more of a backseat. I don't need all of those fancy cocktail dresses that I once loved to impulse shop. And if I'm being totally honest with you, which I always will be, I probably never needed them. But it's even more true for me now. I could kind of justify it back then and I really can't do that anymore. So instead I'm choosing pieces that light me up the second I touch them. I'm reaching for soft knits that I can just live in and beautiful colors that brighten my day and make me feel my best, and little details that make even jeans and a T shirt feel special. My fantasy wardrobe is the very best version of my everyday wardrobe. And one misconception that I hear a lot is that shopping for your real life means giving up on having fun or having an aspirational style. And I don't think that could be further from the truth. When you align your wardrobe with your actual lifestyle, that is when your style begins to feel powerful because you're no longer trying to be someone else. You're embracing who you already are and amplifying it. This doesn't mean filling your closet with only plain basics. I'm not talking about any boring pieces. It just means curating a collection that works for your everyday life while still expressing your unique personality. Maybe it's a bold blazer that makes you feel unstoppable in your everyday meetings and chic on a night out with your girlfriends, or a pair of flats that carry you through busy day while still feeling stylish and put together. The real confidence shift happens when you stop chasing clothes for an imagined life or a someday life and start dressing for the one that you are actually living. Imagine keeping a pair of shoes in your closet that are two sizes too small. You would never do that, right? They might look stunning, but every time you try them on, you can barely walk a block without having immense pain and that is what your fantasy clothes are like. They don't carry you through your day. The right pair, though, fits like a love. It's going to support you, and it's going to make you feel unstoppable from morning until night. So I want you to start thinking of all of those fantasy clothes, like the shoes that are two sizes too small for you. And that's where alignment and integrity come in. Your wardrobe reflects you, not an unrealistic or imagined version of you. And that alignment is what makes you feel comfortable, authentic, and confident every single day. So I want to leave you with three simple mindset shifts that you can start practicing right now. I think implementing some of these changes changes are going to give you a really quick win to start feeling more confident in your clothing and the shopping decisions that you make moving forward. So the first shift that I want to help you see is that your closet is a mirror. Right now, your wardrobe is reflecting back the version of yourself that you're dressing for. And if it's full of unworn clothes, it might be showing you more of your fantasies or even a past version of you than your reality. And that's why it feels so frustrating. So take two minutes today, open your closet, and pull out one item that feels like a costume for a life that you're not living, Even if it's one from your past that you are just holding on to. I want you to hang it at the very back. Even if you don't donate it yet, just moving it out of sight will instantly make your closet feel more aligned with where you are right now. The second thing is to realize that confidence grows from this alignment. So every time you wear something that works for your real life and makes you feel good, you are strengthening your confidence. Muscle style isn't about those someday outfits. It's about what supports you today. So tomorrow morning, before you get dressed, ask yourself, what's on my calendar today? And how do I want to feel while I'm doing it? Then I want you to choose your outfit with that answer in mind at the forefront of your decisions. And this tiny little shift is going to help bring your wardrobe back into alignment with your daily life. And then the third mental shift to make is to ask better shopping questions. I think impulse shopping is often fantasy shopping. Intention led shopping means pausing to ask yourself, where will I wear this? And how many different ways can I style it? If you can't picture it working in your real life, it's probably not worth your money. So before you buy your next piece I want you to try this Name three real occasions, ideally in the next month, where you can wear that piece. If you can, you know it's a smart and intentional choice. And if you can't, that's a red flag that it might just be a fantasy piece. So if this conversation has you realizing that your closet is leaning more toward make believe than made for you, I want you to take it as a sign that it's time for a shift. You get to have clothes that support you, that serve your life, and that help you step into your day with confidence again. It doesn't have to be boring. You can still have fun. You can bring in those star pieces that make you feel really special and amazing, but they have to work for what's actually happening on your calendar. This is exactly the kind of transformation that I love guiding women through inside Her Style Collective Taking the guesswork out of shopping and showing you how to build a wardrobe that feels aligned with your life and your unique style goals. So if you are ready to stop chasing someday and start feeling extraordinary in the life you're living today, I would love to help you take that next step. You can head to herstylellc.com to learn more. And tomorrow, go ahead, enjoy those costumes. Eat all the candy, have fun playing dress up. But when it comes to your real life, I want you to feel extraordinary without needing a costume at all. Style isn't about pretending. It's not about faking it till you make it. It's about honoring the woman you already are and showing her off to the world every single day. Thank you for listening to today's episode. If you want to stop copying everyone else's style and start dialing in your swoon worthy signature look, head over to take my free 5 minute personal style quiz which you can find at the link in the show notes. If you've enjoyed our time together, please be sure to rate, review and subscribe to her style podcast so you never miss an episode. Finally, I invite you to make this a two way conversation and send me a DM over on Instagram eatherriggstyle to let me know how I can best support you on your style journey. I'm always here for you in style and service. Until next time.