← Her Style Podcast | Shopping, Color Palettes, Fashion, Wardrobe, Outfits, Clothing
Her Style Podcast | Shopping, Color Palettes, Fashion, Wardrobe, Outfits, Clothing
316 | The Gap Between Comfortable and Put Together Is Smaller Than You Think
00:19:51
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- [00:00]
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Picture this. You're at home feeling totally relaxed in your usual outfit, leggings, oversized sweatshirt, maybe some cozy socks. You're comfortable. You're you. And then your phone buzzes. It's your friend asking if you can meet for lunch in 30 minutes. Suddenly that comfortable feeling, it's gone. Now you're staring at your closet trying to figure out what to wear that doesn't scream I just rolled out of bed but also doesn't require a full on production. You end up doing the quick change, throwing on something that feels totally different from were just five minutes ago. And honestly, it adds stress to your entire day. Maybe you even skipped a lunch invite or two because your wardrobe feels ill equipped and unprepared to get you out the door quickly with confidence. Here's what I want you to consider today. What if comfortable and put together weren't opposites? What if the gap between those two things was way smaller than you think? And what if closing that gap was actually about something totally different than what you've been told? I'm diving into this today because I know you might be stuck in this exact place. You love fashion. You want to look stylish, but you also want to feel practical. And for this to be effortless and somewhere along the way you started believing you had to choose. Spoiler alert. You don't. By the end of this episode, you'll understand what's creating the real gap between comfortable and put together, why effortless style isn't actually effortless, and how to define your own version of comfort so you can stop feeling that last minute need to change right before you walk out the door. I'm so glad you're here with me today, friend. This is going to be a good one.
- [01:41]
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Welcome to Her Style podcast where we're all about empowering you to show up and get dressed every day with confidence. I'm your host, Heather Riggs, a 15 year and counting certified image consultant and color specialist ready to build a wardrobe and a personal style you love.
- [02:01]
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Let's get started. Well, all of the snow had melted finally here in New Jersey on the east coast and we had a really sunny, beautiful 50 degree day on Saturday and then we got hit with a ginormous blizzard. I think we have a little over 15 inches outside right now so I am living in my comfy, cozy, warm clothes. I've been all snuggled up for the last two days and it felt like the right time to talk about something that I know so many of you struggle with. When I host our live challenges and our Bootcamps. I hear this one all the time, that it's a struggle because you want to feel comfortable in your clothes, but then you don't feel like you're well put together. And there seems to be this dichotomy between the two. And so I want to talk about the lie that we've all been sold. This idea that you can either be comfortable or you can look put together. That style requires sacrifice, and that looking good means feeling restricted, overdressed, or like you're almost playing a character instead of just showing up effortlessly and being yourself. And I know why you believe this. Because when you look at people with great style, it does look completely effortless. They just seem to throw things on, and they look amazing. And so then we think, okay, well, that's just not me. I'm not naturally stylish like that. But the secret that nobody really says out loud is that effortless style isn't actually effortless. It's designed. It's intentional. Those women who look like they just woke up fabulous, they've made deliberate choices about their wardrobe, their colors, their fits. They know what works for them, and they've built a system or outfits around it. I think the other misconception is that comfort equals leggings and an oversized sweatshirt. That if you want to. Which is hilarious, because that's what I'm literally wearing right now. But it's funny, because we think that if we want to feel good physically, we have to default to the softest, stretchiest, most formless things in our closet. Sometimes, yes, that might be true. You might want to put on those oversized, comfy pieces just like I'm wearing right now. Obviously, I am not anti sweatpants. I'm not here to tell you that you need to wear heels and blazers to the grocery store or when you're hanging out at your house. But I am here to challenge this idea that comfort is one thing and one thing only. Because it isn't just about fabric. It's about confidence. It's about not second guessing yourself every time you walk out the door. It's about feeling aligned with how you want to show up in the world, whether that's at home, at work, or meeting friends for lunch. So if you've been stuck in this either OR mindset, I want you to know that's not the only option. There is a whole gray area that we need to explore, and that is where the magic happens. So the aha moment that I want you to start out with today is that you can absolutely look put together in your cozy clothes, in your sweatpants, in your leggings. Being put together isn't about the formality of your outfit. I wanna give you an example from my own life beyond the fact that I'm currently dressed super cozy right now. After I had my son, my style complet shifted. I used to wear sky high stilettos and tons of dry, clean only pieces, but I could not chase a toddler in heels. That was not happening. And I always loved to wear big jewelry. I had lots of statement earrings, but I realized very quickly that that was much more of a health hazard than a fashion statement when little hands are grabbing at everything. And so I definitely lost more than one strand of hair. But I am happy to report that my earlobes remained intact. And what I learned along the way. Even though I struggled a lot with my own personal style in those early years of being a mom, I realized that looking put together isn't about the clothes. It's about how you style them. It's not about wearing heels or blazers or anything that feels like dressing up. It's just about being intentionally styled, no matter what you're wearing. So let's go back to the earlier example. Let's say that you're wearing joggers and a T shirt. It's comfortable, right? It's totally casual. But here's the difference between looking frumpy and looking put together in that exact same outfit. Did you choose joggers in a color that flatters you? Are they fitted enough that they have shape or are they baggy and shapeless? Is your T shirt tucked in half tucked, completely untucked? Is it wrinkly or does it look fresh and clean? Did you add a structured jacket or a cardigan over top? Are you wearing sneakers that feel thoughtful or just whatever was right there by the front door when you were running to get out of it in the morning? Did you add a simple necklace or everyday earrings? Did you do anything to finish the look? That's the difference. It's not about swapping the joggers for dress pants. It's about styling the joggers so they feel like a choice, not a default. I will tell you now my own example again. I am wearing leggings and an oversized sweatshirt, but it's in one of my best colors. I have big gold hoop earrings and rings on that make me feel like I'm finished and I'm put together. I can pop out and say hi to the neighbors while my husband's shoveling like a saint. And it's easy enough for me to just walk out the door and still feel like I look okay. And I'm confident to do that. So this applies to everything. Every level of formality, every occasion. Whether you're working from home, you're running errands, you're meeting friends, or you're just living your life. You can feel comfortable and look intentional. You can look good. You don't have to choose between the two. I do want you to be able to run to the door when you know the Amazon delivery shows up and you've got to grab or sign for the package. Do you have to sign for Amazon packages? I know I've been literally in meetings with clients where someone came to the door and they had to sign a package. I want you to be able to go to the door at a moment's notice and not feel embarrassed by what you're wearing. I want you to be able to run out at the last minute and meet a friend for coffee without having to do a full costume change. And what that really requires is design. It requires some thought, choosing your best colors and fits, stocking your wardrobe with those things, and then being intentional to finish styling your outfit before you leave the house. Because you might be tempted to stop at function. You might just put on clothes that work for the task at hand and you call it a day. But you never actually finish it. You never add the extra layering piece, the accessory, the intentional detail that takes it from I'm dressed to I'm styled. And then you look in the mirror and you think, this doesn't work. But the outfit isn't wrong. It's just incomplete. So before you decide that something doesn't work, I want you to ask yourself, did I finish this or did I stop at function? I think that question alone can really shape how you get dressed, even on your most comfortable and low key days. All right, I do want to help you get really practical today. I want to give you four mental guardrails that will help you start thinking about your wardrobe differently. These are not rigid rules. They're frameworks to guide your choices so that you can build a wardrobe that actually supports your real life and that bridges this gap between comfort and looking put together. So the first one is to stop building a wardrobe where everything lives at the same level. Here's what I mean. If every single piece in your closet is soft and neutral and basic, your outfits are always going to feel one note. They're going to feel flat because there's nothing to spice it up a little bit. There's no range. There's nothing exciting there for you to play with. And I'm not saying that you need to go buy a sequin blazer or start wearing bold prints if that's not you. I'm saying you that you need to have some intentional range within your comfort zone. If every top is a soft, neutral, basic, then I want you to maybe consider adding a few pieces that are going to hold their shape, that are going to give your outfit a little bit of structure, or that are going to bring a different energy while still being very wearable for your life. Maybe that's a cotton button down instead of another T shirt. Or a knit blazer that feels like a cardigan but looks a little bit more polished. Maybe it's a top in your best color that makes your face light up instead of buying another gray or beige. You don't need to buy dressy things. You just need some range because range is what's going to give you those options and it's what will let you create outfits that feel intentional with without requiring more effort. You just need to have some different things that you can pull together to take those casual outfits to the next level. All right, the second guardrail that I would love for you to put in place is don't let comfortable stay undefined. This might be the most important thing I'm going to tell you today. I think this one is huge. If you don't define what comfortable means to you, you're going to keep defaulting to the easiest version available. And the easiest version is usually shapeless, often colorless and uninspired. So I want you to get really specific. Does comfort mean that it's stretchy or breathable? Roomy? Does it mean having flat shoes or a low heel or pieces that are structured but have a soft fabric, no waistband, or a high waistband that helps hold you in? Write it down if you have to. I'm not kidding. Because once you know what comfort actually is for you, you can start intentionally shopping for comfortable pieces that still feel elevated. You have to know what's most important for you. You can find joggers that are stretchy and soft, but that have more of a tapered leg that looks finished. You can find tops that are breathable but still have some beautiful shape to them. You can find shoes that don't hurt your feet, but also don't look like you gave up. Comfort doesn't have to mean sacrificing style, but you have to define it for yourself first. I asked the new members that just came into her style collective this month to do this around their key style words. As they worked on dialing in their signature style in week one, defining what each word meant for them, a lot of them took it a step further and said what it didn't mean for them as well, which I think is super helpful. And I'm going to give you a couple of examples around the concept of comfort. One member came up with the words relaxed and soft. Another said movable and stretchy. One said warm and easy. And I heard it feels good on the skin. And I know that these words all have a really similar vein, but they still mean something different and they're personal to each one of them. There's a slightly different standard about each of those definitions, so I think it's really important to find your own meaning and comfort as well, and you'll be able to navigate it in an entirely different way. All right, the third guardrail is to build inspiration for your real life. This one is also so important, and it's something a lot of people miss. You probably love to save outfit inspiration on Pinterest, or maybe you love to scroll through Instagram and get outfit ideas. But what are you actually looking for? Usually it's aspirational stuff. It's the date night outfits or the vacation looks, or the fun, exciting occasions where you are maybe a little bit more dressed up. But you've got to think about the other 70% of your life. When you're working from home, when you're out running errands, when you're lounging on the weekend with your family, or running to pick up the kids from school or going to the gym. If you work from home, you need to curate your work from home style. If you're retired, you need daytime casual inspiration. If you're in athletic wear a lot, let's make it stylish and feel good for you. I want you to stop treating the everyday like the afterthought category. Your real life deserves the same level of intention as the highlight reel. Because the thing is, if you only have inspiration for the fun stuff, you're never gonna feel good in your everyday regular life. And that is where you spend most of your time, I'm gonna guess. So I want you to start building your mood boards or, you know, peeking around on Pinterest or even cruising on your favorite social media apps. Or maybe you're just gonna start a folder on your phone with outfits that ref actual life. I want you to look for people who dress for the same activities that you do and pay attention to how they make casual look intentional. The last guardrail is to finish before you judge. I already touched on this, but I want to reemphasize it because I think this is definitely going to be a big game changer for you. Before you decide that an outfit doesn't work or that it's too comfortable, too casual, I want you to ask yourself, did I finish this or did I stop at function? Sometimes the outfit isn't wrong, it's just incomplete. Maybe it needs a jacket or a belt. Maybe you just need to switch out your shoes for something that looks more polished or a simple necklace is all you need to make it feel really intentional and well styled. Maybe your hair needs to be finished or pulled back, or your makeup just needs a swipe of lipstick or a little dab of blush on your cheek just to brighten everything up and make you feel so fresh and put together. Finishing your outfit does not mean that you have to add 10 things or spend an hour getting ready. It just means picking the one or two things that are going to make it feel complete. And the beautiful part is that once you start taking the extra step to finish your outfits, you're actually going to find that getting dressed is going to become faster because you're not going to be standing in front of the mirror feeling off and not knowing why. You know what the outfit needs and you add it and it really will start to become second nature the more and more you do this. So give yourself permission to finish your outfit. Before you judge your outfit, you might be surprised at how many you already own that just need one small adjustment to feel completely amazing. All right, friend, let's bring this one home. If you take one thing away from today's episode, please let it be this. You don't have to choose between comfort and put together. The gap that you've been feeling is not as wide as you think. And closing it doesn't require a complete wardrobe overhaul or a total personality change. It just requires a little bit more thought and intentionality. It requires defining what comfort actually means to you, what's most important to make you feel good throughout your whole day. It requires building a wardrobe that has some range and finishing your outfits before you walk out the door. Or ideally, even when you're just hanging out at home all by yourself. I still want you to look and feel your best, even if nobody else sees you, because these guardrails are just the beginning. And once you start thinking this way, I know the next question is usually going to be okay. But how do I actually do this for my body, my colors, my life? And that is exactly what we figure out together inside Her Style Collective. And this is exactly what I teach and support you with. Inside this 90 day group coaching program, we dial in your signature style so you know exactly how you want to look and feel for every single event on your calendar. And the big things, the little things, every moment throughout your week, we figure out what flatters your specific, unique and beautiful perfect body. Just as it is today. We're going to discover your best colors. Which, if you've been listening to this podcast for a while, you know is my favorite thing to do. That is my specialty. I think color can move the needle in such a big way in your wardrobe. Even if you just have all of those like comfortable basics in your best colors, you're going to feel a million times better. We're also going to talk about how to accessorize your looks and how to build a full outfit library for all of the occasions on your calendar. Again, not just the fun, special, once in a blue moon ones, but your real everyday life. Because you deserve to feel amazing every single day. Not just on those special occasions, but in every single moment. So if you're ready to stop feeling frumpy at home and stressed when you leave the house, if you're ready to build a wardrobe that actually works for for your life, then I would love to support you with this personally. You can get all the details. You can join us right now@herstylellc.com collective. And in the meantime, I want you to try this. Pick one outfit that you wear regularly. Something casual, something very comfortable. And before you wear it again, ask yourself, how can I finish this? What's one thing that would make this look more intentional or that would kick it up to the next level? Then I want you to do that thing. Add that thing, wear it. See how you feel. Because that's really where the shift is gonna get started. Not with a complete wardrobe overhaul, just with one intentional choice at a time. Thank you so much for hanging out with me today, friend. I will catch you back here for the next episode soon.
- [19:04]
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Thank you for listening to today's episode. If you want to stop copying everyone else's style and start dialing in your own style swoon worthy signature look, head over to take my free 5 minute personal style quiz which you can find at the link in the show notes. If you've enjoyed our time together, please be sure to rate, review and subscribe to her style podcast so you never miss an episode. Finally, I invite you to make this a two way conversation and send me a DM over on Instagram eatherigstyle to let me know how I can best support you on your style journey. I'm always here for you in style and service. Until next time.