Podcast Summary: "Growing Up In Public with Devorah Heitner"

Podcast Information:

• Title: Here's Where It Gets Interesting
• Host: Sharon McMahon
• Guest: Dr. Devorah Heitner
• Episode Title: Growing Up In Public with Devorah Heitner
• Release Date: June 9, 2025

Introduction

In the episode titled "Growing Up In Public," host Sharon McMahon delves into the complexities of raising children in an increasingly digital world. Joined by Dr. Devorah Heitner, an expert in media studies and the author of "Growing Up In Public," the conversation explores the challenges and strategies for helping children navigate the digital landscape safely and thoughtfully.

Dr. Devorah Heitner’s Background

Dr. Heitner shares her journey into the subject of digital upbringing, emphasizing her extensive experience as a media studies professor. She recounts her interactions with the first MySpace generation and the rise of Facebook on campuses, highlighting how her students, the early adopters and "digital natives," shaped her understanding of social media dynamics.

Dr. Devorah Heitner [03:41]: "I was a professor for years of media studies and I taught 18 to 22 year olds right as social media was becoming a thing... I use that term as much anymore."

Her personal experience as a parent further fueled her interest, particularly regarding concerns about children's privacy and the long-term implications of their online activities.

Challenges of Raising Children in the Digital Age

The discussion emphasizes the dual nature of the digital world: while it offers unprecedented connectivity and opportunities for self-expression, it also exposes children to potential harms such as cyberbullying, privacy breaches, and the permanence of online actions.

Sharon McMahon [07:14]: "Don't share that. Don't say that on Snapchat. Somebody's going to screenshot it. Don't put that on Instagram. You're going to wish you hadn't."

Dr. Heitner acknowledges the difficulty adults face in conveying the long-term consequences of online behavior to adolescents whose brains are still developing and who may not fully grasp the repercussions of their digital footprints.

Dr. Devorah Heitner [05:38]: "How do we deal with the fact that every dumb thought my middle schooler or high schooler has could be something that they're known for for the rest of their life?"

Positive Approaches to Social Media Use

Shifting from fear-based warnings, Dr. Heitner advocates for a positive, character-focused approach to guiding children’s online behavior. Instead of threatening future repercussions, she suggests discussing how online actions reflect one’s character and the importance of not causing harm.

Dr. Devorah Heitner [07:14]: "We want to talk more with kids about how what we share should align with who we are and our character and how we want to be perceived."

This approach fosters a more meaningful understanding in children, encouraging them to make thoughtful decisions about their online presence based on intrinsic values rather than external threats.

Crowdsourcing Personalities and Social Media Impacts

The conversation explores how social media platforms incentivize children to "crowdsource" their identities, seeking validation through likes and follower counts. This can lead to performance-based behavior where children may alter their personalities to gain social approval.

Dr. Devorah Heitner [14:45]: "Adolescents are wired... to be especially sensitive to those social rewards."

She highlights the importance of helping children develop a strong sense of self that is not solely dependent on digital affirmations, advocating for activities that build lasting self-esteem and community engagement.

Differences Between Generations

Dr. Heitner contrasts Gen Z and Gen Alpha with previous generations, noting their innate familiarity with technology. She emphasizes the need for balanced digital and in-person social skills, especially for children who grew up during the pandemic and may have missed out on essential in-person interactions.

Dr. Devorah Heitner [45:47]: "These younger kids have so much facility with it... we may need to sort of nudge them in that direction just so they can balance those in-person skills."

Advice for Parents

Dr. Heitner provides practical strategies for parents to support their children’s digital lives without resorting to invasive monitoring:

1. Mentorship Over Surveillance: Encourage open conversations about online activities rather than covertly monitoring them.

   Dr. Devorah Heitner [48:11]: "Even in the years when they seem to be pushing us away. That's incredibly powerful. So I wouldn't go snooping just on curiosity."

2. One App at a Time: Gradually introduce social media platforms to children, allowing them to learn and adapt without overwhelming them.

3. Character Alignment: Foster discussions about how online actions reflect personal values and character, promoting responsible sharing.

4. Supportive Responses: When children make mistakes online, focus on repairing harm and understanding rather than punitive measures.

5. Community Engagement: Encourage children to participate in offline community activities to build strong, supportive relationships outside of the digital realm.

Conclusion and Key Takeaways

The episode concludes with a call for “radical empathy,” urging adults to understand the unique challenges faced by children today. Dr. Heitner emphasizes the importance of providing unwavering support and guidance as children navigate the digital landscape, ensuring they grow into well-rounded and thoughtful individuals.

Dr. Devorah Heitner [51:34]: "Radical empathy. I want adults... to recognize that growing up in the digital age is really hard and that these kids are scrutinized in ways we never were."

Sharon McMahon underscores the broader societal implications, noting that today's digital upbringing will shape future generations' contributions to culture, politics, and public policy.

Sharon McMahon [52:25]: "The Internet is not going anywhere. Social media is not going anywhere. And so these are conversations we need to have."

Final Thoughts

"Growing Up In Public" offers a comprehensive examination of the digital challenges facing today’s youth. Through insightful dialogue, Dr. Devorah Heitner provides valuable perspectives and actionable strategies for parents, educators, and caregivers striving to support children in an ever-evolving online world.