A (10:30)

There are times in life when therapy can really help, like during periods of burnout or when stress feels like it's piling up. But the biggest roadblock is always finding someone who feels like both a good fit and actually takes your insurance. And that's where Rula can help. They do things differently. Rula partners with over 100 insurance plans and the average copay is just $15 per session, sometimes even as little as $0 depending on your benefits. That means real therapy with licensed professionals at a price that actually makes sense, and Rula takes the guesswork out of it. Instead of just matching you with whoever's available, they consider your goals, preferences and background to give you a curated list of in network therapists who are actually aligned with what you need.

B (11:17)

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Forth, just appointments available as soon as tomorrow. Plus Rula stays with you throughout your journey, helping you schedule, checking in on your progress, and even offering support with medication management if that's part of your career. Thousands of people are already using Rula to get affordable, high quality therapy that's actually covered by Insurance. Visit rula.com Interesting to get started. After you sign up, you'll be asked how you heard about them. Please support our show and let them know we sent you. That's r u l a.com Interesting. You deserve mental health care that works with you, not against your budget.

C (11:56)

What's up guys? It's Candice Dillard Bassett, former Real Housewife of Potomac. And I'm Michael Arseneault, author of the New York Times Bestsel I Can't Date Jesus and this is Undomesticated, the podcast where we aren't just saying the quiet parts out loud. We're putting it all on the kitchen table and inviting you to the function. If you're ready for some bold takes and a little bit of chaos, welcome to Undomesticated. Follow and listen to Undomesticated available wherever you get your podcasts.

A (12:26)

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B (13:32)

As the 17th century progressed, these Dutch colonists pushed out into more spacious and rural areas, founding many towns across the Hudson Valley like Albany, Woodstock and Kinderhook. And it's there, in Kinderhook, New York in the late 1700s, a close knit Dutch community, that we meet the families of Hannah Hus and Martin Van Buren. Her last name is spelled H O E S in English. Hannah and Martin Van Buren were childhood sweethearts. Martin's family ran the local tavern, which functioned as more of a town diner than a bar, and he and his family lived above the tavern, a place where politicians and dignitaries dined out on their travels to Albany, New York. Hannah's mother, Maria Quackenbush, was widely respected in Kinderhook and had a passion for seeing that children had a strong education. After she married Hannah's father, Johannes, Maria set up the first officially recognized school in Kinderhook called Old Columbia Academy, which would later be known as Kinderhook Academy, and Dutch was both Hannah and Martin's first language. They grew up speaking Dutch with their fellow townsfolk, switching to English with outsiders who would come through their small Hudson Valley community. Hannah and Martin, who were first cousins once removed, developed a romantic interest in each other when they reached their teen years. Martin was deeply devoted to, as he once wrote to a colleague, my shy blue eyed bride, whom I shall always call my Johanna. Martin left his childhood education early in order to work full time at the family tavern, and there he had a front row seat to all the political gatherings and conversations in the town, and he took a keen Interest in it all. Hannah, well educated at the academy, began tutoring Martin and prepping him to take a law internship. She supported his political ambitions, even agreeing to delay their wedding plans when he left town at the age of 20 to clerk at an attorney's office in New York City. When Martin returned to Kinderhook three years later, his first order of business was to establish a law practice there. With his half brother finally feeling secure in their futures, Hannah and Martin got married on February 21, 1807. Martin's law practice in Kinderhook grew successful quite quickly, and he decided it was time to pursue his political goals. Hannah and Martin, with their newborn son, moved to the county seat in Hudson, New York. And in 1812, Martin got his big political break when he was elected to the New York State Senate. And the Van Buren family, now with three sons, was on the move again to the state capital of Albany. Hannah's well run home in Albany became the center of Martin's political networking as he constantly invited aides, lawyers and other influencers in the state to their house for gatherings. Ever supportive of her husband's ambitions, Hannah was a dutiful wife and host. New York State Democratic Party leader Benjamin Butler, who lived with the Van Burens for a period of time, described Hannah in his memoirs as a woman of sweet nature with no love of show, no ambitious desires and no pride of ostentatiousness. But something was lurking beneath the surface for Hannah. Something that would lead Martin and their children to live a life they could never have imagined. Hannah Van Buren kept busy raising her young sons in Albany, and she found great joy in her children. But nothing brought her more satisfaction than devoting herself to her church and her char efforts. Hannah joined the Presbyterian church when they moved to Albany because there was no Dutch Reformed church like back home. Her new church community would be what carried her through her most difficult times. Unbeknownst to her, Hannah had contracted tuberculosis soon after, the Van Buren family moved to Albany. And to help us know better what Hannah would have experienced, let's take a moment and understand the disease of tuberculosis and its cultural impacts. Tuberculosis is an ancient disease. Evidence of its bacterium has been found on Egyptian mummies from around 6,000 years ago. And it is prevalent in ancient Chinese and South Asian records from at least 3,000 years ago in our last millennium. It was called many things, from the White plague to consumption. Today it's simply shortened to TB most often. But there's nothing simple about tuberculosis. Its source is a bacteria that impacts the lung, brain, spine and kidneys. Without treatment, it has a high mortality rate with 70% of people dying within 10 years of diagnosis. Tuberculosis was quite common in the 19th century. One in seven people died from TB during that time, and eventually the pallor of a woman suffering from tuberculosis became admired. TB victims turned pale and thin as the disease slowly worked through their bodies. Delicate, transparent skin, fine silky hair, dilated eyes, rosy cheeks and red lips were common in tuberculosis patients. Characteristics that were also held up at the time as signs of beauty and the fad got so out of hand that even the Saturday Evening Post ran a series for women on how to display the look of consumption. Women actually attempted to copy the consumptive appearance by using makeup to lighten their skin, redden their lips and color their cheeks Pink. Finally, in 1882, a German scientist named Robert Koch unlocked some mysteries about the disease. Up until this time, tuberculosis was believed to be hereditary, but his work on germ theory led to the knowledge that it was not passed down through generations, but was rather spread through contagious airborne respiratory droplets. His discovery helped give greater importance to public health experts and physicians to come up with new campaigns that would help prevent the spread of tuberculosis and their first target, Women's Fashion.

A (20:39)

For me, home is all about comfort and at the end of a long day, I want my space to feel like a retreat. Whether that's wrapping up in a blanket with a good book or finally climbing into bed. And honestly, Cozy Earth Earth has changed those moments for me. Their bamboo sheets are a dream. Truly. I've replaced nearly all of my sheets with Cozy Earth. They're so soft they keep you cool all night, which is huge because I used to wake up tossing and turning. And then there's the bubble cuddle blanket. It's got this gorgeous textured design that looks beautiful draped across the couch. But the real magic is how ridiculously soft and cozy it feels feels when you're curled up under it. I live in Minnesota where it's cold all the time and you always need a lap blanket. Cozy Earth also stands behind their products. You get a 100 night sleep trial so you can really test them out and a 10 year warranty because comfort like this should last. Head to cozyearth.com and use my code Sharon for up to 20% off. That's cozyearth.com code Sharon. And if you get a post purchase survey, make sure to let them know you heard about Cozy Earth right here. Because home isn't just where you live, it's how you feel. Let's go home with cozy earth.

C (21:51)

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D (22:22)

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B (23:24)

Long trailing skirts were decried as disease spreaders because they would sweep up germs on the street and then spread them through shops and homes. There was a cartoon called the Trailing Death Loves a Shining Mark, which appeared in a magazine in the early 1900s. It depicts a woman shaking off clouds of germy dust from her lady's skirt as innocent children stand nearby. Behind the woman looms a skeleton holding various symbols of death. Women's headlines begin to rise and corsets were discouraged because they could worsen tuberculosis by limiting the movement of the lungs and circulation of the blood. Did you ever imagine that we would have tuberculosis to thank for not needing to wear corsets under our clothes? And now we all just wrestle our way into Spanx and hard pants. But men's treads were also impacted. The full beards and sculpted mustaches and extravagant sideburns that had been all the rage during the 19th century fell out of fashion by the 20th. Beards and mustaches were deemed dangerous. And while the discovery of how tuberculosis spread led to a widespread change in society and fashion, for Hannah Van Buren there was only sickness and struggle. Once she contracted the disease, it began to take its toll on her body, and she experienced such difficulty that she could only get out of bed for a few minutes at a time. And so her young sons only had limited moments with her. Hannah's niece, Christina Canteen, came to live with the family to manage the household and care for the Van Buren boys. Miraculously, Hannah became pregnant for the sixth time. Having lost a son and a daughter in two previous pregnancies, the family assumed they would lose this child too. But the baby boy lived. Hannah delivered him in January of 1817, and he became the fourth son and the final child of Hannah and Martin. The pregnancy and delivery, however, had taken so much out of her that she knew that she didn't have much longer to live. In a final act of giving that displayed her loving heart, Hannah requested that the money usually spent on the funeral custom of scarves for her pallbearers be redirected to buy food for needy people in the city of Albany. Hannah Van Buren passed away on February 5, 1819, leaving behind her husband of 12 years, Martin, and their four sons, who ranged in age from 2 to 11. Abraham, John, Martin Jr. And Smith. Whether it was out of a time period custom of respect or out of grief, Martin barely spoke of Hannah after her death. In fact, his silence kept her so mysterious that years later, their son John was not even certain of her name. Writing to his father, asking, we all agreed to name our daughter after my mother. Was her name Anna or Hannah? But nearly three decades later, when Martin set up his post presidency estate, Lindenwald, back in his hometown of Kinderhook, New York, his most important request was to have a portrait of his beloved Hannah hung in his bedroom. He said that she was the guiding force of my early life, and she will be the guiding force of my final years. Martin remained a widower for the remainder of his life after Hannah's death. A White House staff member who gave an interview in the New York Tribune newspaper remarked he was openly friendly with women, but never saw himself fit to show real interest in seeing them through to a courtship. Martin Van Buren was elected in 1836. He spent the first year and a half of his presidency with no first lady or White House hostess. He would occasionally rely on the spouses of cabinet members to serve as hostess for an event or to aid in decorating rooms. But who should come to Martin Van Buren's rescue, but former First Lady Dolley Madison Dolly was living in Washington D.C. across the street from the White House, and when a cousin and her daughter came to visit her in the spring of 1838, Dolly made a plan. Dolly brought along her visiting guests to a private White House dinner, making sure to seat her cousin's daughter, Angelica Singleton, close to the President's three unmarried sons, Abraham, Martin and Smith. Sparks immediately flew between Angelica Singleton and Abraham Van Buren and within a few months Abraham proposed. Angelica and Abraham were married in November of 1838, and as Abraham then returned to his position as personal secretary to his father, his wife, Angelica Singleton Van Buren assumed the position of White House hostess. Angelica was personally mentored by old pro Dolly Madison, and she regularly sought wisdom and advice from her. Angelica won praise from society in her role as hostess and President. Van Buren enjoyed having the company of his new daughter in law by his side throughout the remainder of his time in office. Martin Van Buren lost the election of 1840 and in 1848 he returned to the home of his youth. He spent the remainder of his years at Lindenwald and Kinderhook, residing there for 21 years. In his own words written towards the end of his life, Martin stated, this is where I spent the last and happiest years of my life. A farmer in my native town, Martin Van Buren died on July 24, 1862 and was laid to rest at Lindenwald next to his Hannah, the beloved wife that he had lost 43 years. Clear thank you so much for being here today. It would have been quite easy to skip over Hannah Van Buren, a virtually un known, almost first lady who missed the White House by 20 years. But to do so, we'd miss out on learning the fascinating connection between her heritage and the many ways our lives are shaped today. I'll see you next time.

A (30:31)

Thank you so much for listening to here's where it gets interesting. If you enjoyed today's episode, would you consider sharing or subscribing to this show that helps podcasters out so much? I'm your host and executive producer Sharon McMahon. Our supervising producer is Melanie Buck Parks and our audio producer is Craig Thompson. We'll see you soon.

B (30:56)

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