The Quiet Bravery of Elizabeth Monroe

Podcast: Here's Where It Gets Interesting
Host: Sharon McMahon
Date: September 22, 2025

Episode Overview

In this episode, Sharon McMahon continues her series on the hidden lives of First Ladies, diving into the largely overlooked story of Elizabeth Monroe. The episode unpacks the quiet but impactful life of Elizabeth, illuminating her reserved nature, deep sense of duty, profound personal losses, and unique moments of courage—including her pivotal intervention to save Adrienne de Lafayette during the French Revolution. McMahon invites listeners to reconsider the meaning of strength by exploring the subtle yet significant ways Elizabeth Monroe shaped history during her time as First Lady and beyond.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Early Life and Family Background (04:05 – 10:30)

• Privileged but Troubled Beginnings:

  • Elizabeth Courtright Monroe was born in 1768 to a wealthy New York merchant family.
  • She lost her mother at age nine due to complications of childbirth, followed closely by the death of a toddler sibling.
  • Elizabeth’s father, Lawrence, never remarried, leaving the household to depend on enslaved servants to help raise the children.
  • Despite social standing, the Courtright family faced financial difficulties following the Revolutionary War.

• Personality and Social Grace:

  • Elizabeth was described as quiet, introverted, and graceful, with striking blue eyes and dark hair.
  • At 16, her charm caught the attention of James Monroe (then 26), who would later become her husband and future U.S. President.

Quote (Elizabeth’s reputation at the theater):
"Elizabeth stood no more than five feet tall, but she had a quiet grace... James Monroe's cousin and fellow congressman described Elizabeth and her sisters that evening as having 'made so brilliant and lovely an appearance as to depopulate all the other boxes of all genteel male people therein.'"
— Sharon McMahon (09:05)

Diplomatic Life in France and Elizabeth’s Quiet Heroism (12:10 – 24:45)

• Adjustment to Diplomacy:

  • The Monroes—James, Elizabeth, and daughter Eliza—arrived in Paris during the height of the French Revolution.
  • Elizabeth adapted effortlessly to Parisian life: she dressed in French style, learned the customs, and was embraced as "la belle Américaine."
  • She demonstrated diplomatic nuance by blending in, including sending Eliza to a French school and wearing a cross necklace to signify alignment with French customs.

• Daring Rescue of Adrienne de Lafayette:

  • During the Reign of Terror, Elizabeth learned of Adrienne de Lafayette’s impending execution and intervened.
  • By arriving at the prison in the American Embassy’s carriage and announcing her intent to return, she sent a clear signal that America was watching.
  • The resulting diplomatic pressure led the French authorities to release Adrienne rather than risk American outrage.

Memorable Moment:
"The day before Adrienne Lafayette was scheduled to be beheaded, Elizabeth Monroe climbed into the American Embassy's carriage and rode through the streets to the prison where Adrienne was being held. She not only provided comfort..., she made it clear the Americans are watching."
— Sharon McMahon (22:25)

Life After France and Struggles with Health (25:10 – 31:30)

• Personal Losses and Health Issues:

  • Upon returning to Virginia, Elizabeth suffered several losses: her young son, James Spence, and her father died within a short span.
  • Suffered from chronic health issues, likely epileptic seizures, which continued throughout her life.

• Continued Diplomatic Service:

  • Despite her frail health, she accompanied James to new diplomatic posts in England and Spain.
  • Elizabeth and her now-adult daughter Eliza moved easily within elite circles, even attending Napoleon’s coronation as honored guests.

First Lady: Changing White House Traditions (36:45 – 47:30)

• Transition to the White House:
  • As First Lady, Elizabeth’s European sensibilities led her to prioritize formality and exclusivity in White House entertaining.
  • She rarely attended public events and did not reciprocate social calls, leading to perceptions of aloofness in Washington society.

Quote on her White House style:
"Her White House dinners were served English style with one servant attending each guest and in the privacy of their home, the Monroe family spoke only French. Elizabeth was big on formality, which was in direct contrast to the way Dolley Madison had done things."
— Sharon McMahon (43:10)

• Dealing with Social Backlash:

  • The elite women of Washington initially rebelled against her practices, finding her new customs confusing and exclusionary.
  • Ill health explained her withdrawal from many public functions, but this was never formally disclosed.

• Role of Her Daughter:

  • Eliza Monroe Hay often served as the White House hostess in Elizabeth’s stead—the first instance of a presidential daughter largely assuming First Lady duties.

• Personal Touches:

  • Elizabeth helped refurbish the White House after the War of 1812, even repurposing glass shards from the grounds into decorative mirrors.

Final Years and Legacy (49:00 – End)

• Retirement and Decline:

  • Following James Monroe’s presidency, Elizabeth slipped further from public life, focusing on her family and managing ongoing illness.
  • She died in 1830 at Oak Hill at age 62.

• Tribute from James Monroe:

  • James Monroe poignantly honored her steadfastness after her passing:

Quote:
"It is a remark which it would be unpardonable to withhold, that it was improbable for any female to have fulfilled all the duties of the partner of such cares and of a wife and parent with more attention, delicacy, and propriety than she had done."
— James Monroe (51:05)

• Historical Tidbit:
  • The episode closes with the connection that Eliza’s husband, George Hay, prosecuted Aaron Burr in the infamous treason trial.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Elizabeth’s grace described at the theater: (09:05)
• Her pivotal rescue of Adrienne de Lafayette: (22:25)
• Insight into her reserved White House style: (43:10)
• James Monroe’s touching tribute: (51:05)

Key Timestamps for Important Segments

• Intro & Historical Context: 03:30 – 06:55
• Early Years and Marriage: 07:00 – 12:00
• Paris Years & French Revolution: 12:10 – 24:45
• Saving Adrienne de Lafayette: 21:40 – 24:30
• Return to U.S. and Health Struggles: 25:10 – 31:30
• White House Years & Social Backlash: 36:45 – 47:30
• Retirement, Passing & Legacy: 49:00 – End

Takeaways

• Elizabeth Monroe’s story is one of understated bravery, diplomacy, and resilience.
• Despite significant personal suffering and health issues, she made her mark quietly but forcefully, most notably by aiding Adrienne de Lafayette.
• Her European-inspired formality and withdrawal from public life were shaped both by her transatlantic experiences and her struggle with chronic illness.
• Elizabeth Monroe demonstrates that “quiet bravery” is often as historically significant as bold, public feats.