#329: New Old Man Puzzles w/ Janet Varney & Paul Sabourin

Summary

Hey Riddle Riddle – Episode #329: New Old Man Puzzles with Janet Varney & Paul Sabourin

Release Date: November 6, 2024
Hosts/Authors: Adal Rifai, Erin Keif, John Patrick Coan
Guests: Janet Varney & Paul Sabourin

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1. Introduction: The Cryptic Letter Conundrum ([00:51] - [02:23])

The episode kicks off with the hosts discussing mysterious cryptic letters they've each received. Janet Varney introduces the intrigue by saying, "Did you guys get this cryptic letter?" ([00:51] Janet Varney). This sets the stage for a playful investigation into the meaning behind these enigmatic messages. Paul Sabourin humorously claims, "I have taken the form of Paul Saborin, but I am in fact the ghost that haunts cryptic letters" ([02:44] Paul Sabourin), adding a supernatural twist to the discussion.

2. Anecdotes from the JoCo Cruise ([04:10] - [05:52])

Aaron Keefe reminisces about his experience on the Joco Cruise, stating, "I had the absolute pleasure of being on the Joco Cruise with these two. And I am not exaggerating when I say I had the time of my life" ([04:10] Aaron Keefe). Paul Sabourin elaborates, highlighting the inclusive and enthusiastic atmosphere: "It's a week long, sort of nerd themed cruise with comedy and music and podcasters and writers and gaming and all sorts of people exploring all sorts of enthusiasms in a cool, awesome, inclusive, welcoming atmosphere" ([04:25] Paul Sabourin). The hosts playfully tease each other about invitation exclusivity, leading to laughter and camaraderie.

3. Pushy Quarters and Shushy Quarters Tales ([06:12] - [08:17])

The conversation shifts to amusing anecdotes about casino games, particularly "Pushy Quarters." Aaron shares a hilarious story: "I had to get up and leave James show. I was taught to get a servant. Oh, I laughed so hard" ([08:17] Aaron Keefe). Paul introduces the concept of "Shushy Quarters," a clever play on words, adding to the show's lighthearted humor.

4. Interactive Bee Riddles and Games ([09:05] - [30:23])

As the episode delves into riddles, the focus turns to a bee-themed guessing game devised by John Patrick Coan (JPC). He explains the rules: "We are going to be playing a little bee guessing game where you help me identify what type of bee I'm describing" ([15:01] JPC). The hosts and guests engage in witty exchanges, solving riddles like identifying "Bebees" ([16:31] Aaron Keefe) and "Applebee's" ([19:15] Adel).

Notable interactions include:

• Janet's playful frustration when riddles stump her: "I don't care" ([08:17] Janet Varney).
• Paul's creative yet humorous answers: "Rocket bees" ([16:11] Paul Sabourin).
• The collaborative and competitive spirit as they tackle increasingly complex puzzles.

5. Character Sketches and Improvisational Scenes ([25:09] - [46:44])

The episode features several improvised scenes that blend storytelling with riddle-solving:

• Janet and Paul act out a brunch scenario with egg-themed challenges, showcasing their improvisational skills.
• The hosts create characters like "Surf Paul" and "Single Harmony Paul," adding layers of humor and creativity.
• Janet portrays Daphne from Scooby Doo, interacting with JPC's Scooby Doo persona, leading to comedic moments and playful banter.

Paul Sabourin introduces a multiplicity of "Pauls," each with distinct personalities, culminating in a humorous mock-meeting about managing their collective identities.

6. Final Riddles and Wrap-Up ([46:44] - [66:58])

As the episode nears its end, the hosts transition to more traditional riddles from Janet's book, "Riddles Everywhere." They present riddles like:

• "I tremble and shake at the least breath of breeze, yet I can take as much weight as you please."
  Answer: Water ([48:20] Paul Sabourin)

• "Children make something that no one can see."
  Answer: Noise ([48:54] Aaron Keefe)

The hosts conclude with humorous reflections on the riddle-solving process and tease future episodes, including promotions for their Joco Cruise and other ventures. Janet Varney humorously interjects about potential offensive content, maintaining the show's playful tone.

Notable Quotes:

• Paul Sabourin: "It's a week long, sort of nerd themed cruise with comedy and music and podcasters and writers and gaming and all sorts of people exploring all sorts of enthusiasms in a cool, awesome, inclusive, welcoming atmosphere." ([04:25])
• Aaron Keefe: "Paul made me laugh so hard, I got sick." ([04:10])
• JPC: "We are going to be playing a little bee guessing game where you help me identify what type of bee I'm describing." ([15:01])
• Janet Varney: "I am this close to catching the Mothman. That's what I call Richard Gere." ([03:40])

---

Conclusion

Episode #329 of Hey Riddle Riddle masterfully blends humor, improvisation, and riddle-solving, enriched by the dynamic contributions of guest Janet Varney and Paul Sabourin. From mysterious cryptic letters to interactive bee riddles and playful character sketches, the episode offers an engaging and entertaining experience for both regular listeners and newcomers alike. The seamless integration of jokes, anecdotes, and intellectual puzzles underscores the podcast's unique charm and ingenuity.

Join the Clue Crew: For more behind-the-scenes content and bonus episodes, consider becoming a patron at Patreon.com/heyriddleriddle.

Transcript

[Aaron Keefe]

This is a headgum podcast.

[Paul Sabourin]

With the.

[Janet Varney]

Five dollar meal deal at McDonald's. You pick a McDouble, or a McChicken, then get a small fry, a small.

[JPC]

Drink, and a four piece McNuggets.

[Janet Varney]

That's a lot of McDonald's for not a lot of money.

[Paul Sabourin]

Price and participation may vary. For a limited time only.

[Janet Varney]

The doctor was the mother. He stood on a block of ice. Both of them were goldfish.

[Paul Sabourin]

It was the cabin of an airplane.

[JPC]

He stabbed him with an icing and the horse.

[Janet Varney]

Did you guys get this cryptic letter?

[Adel]

Oh, what is the.

[Aaron Keefe]

What's it say?

[Adel]

What's it say?

[Janet Varney]

Okay, you didn't get it. You didn't get it. I'm not ready.

[Aaron Keefe]

No, no, I got it. I'm cool and I probably got it. But what's it. What's yours say?

[Janet Varney]

No, I guarantee that you didn't get this cryptic letter. The cryptic letter said it was just for me, but I was like, you all showed up holding paper and I assumed you guys all got the cryptic letter.

[Adel]

Well, my wife got taken, and so this is like magazine letters unmatching.

[Janet Varney]

She won a trip. What happened?

[Adel]

Yeah, she won a trip. She said, I'll be home in a year.

[Aaron Keefe]

So mine is just a blank piece of paper. I thought we could play tic tac toe today.

[Adel]

What's yours? Jpc?

[Janet Varney]

Well, I got a cryptic letter that said, meet at the crossroads at midnight. What are you guys doing here, by the way? At the Crossroads at Midnight?

[Adel]

Bone Thugs in Harmony concert, I assume.

[Aaron Keefe]

Here's for you.

[Janet Varney]

Okay, thank you for finishing. You have to assume. Yeah.

[Adel]

Miss everybody, huh?

[Janet Varney]

It was like, meet at the crossroads at midnight. Your other hosts will join you here. So that's why I kind of assumed you got the letter.

[Aaron Keefe]

It is a cryptic letter.

[Janet Varney]

Yeah, and it was like we were gonna do an episode, but it was gonna be better than we've ever done before.

[Aaron Keefe]

What's that?

[Adel]

Oh, I think that's the 645tr going by.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, wait, guys, is that Janet Barney wearing a cape?

[Janet Varney]

Holy.

[Adel]

Hey, Janet, Barney.

[JPC]

Hey, it's me, fourth host. Hey. She opening for Bone Thugs.

[Janet Varney]

Janet Varney opening for Bone Thugs. That's.

[JPC]

Hey, did you guys get this cryptic letter?

[Adel]

There's another.

[Janet Varney]

Thank God. I knew I wasn't crazy.

[JPC]

Mine just says, wait, ask JPC about his cryptic letter. That's my cryptic letter. Is that weird? That feels like it's kind of a weird language.

[Janet Varney]

Feels lazy, but this was hard to.

[Paul Sabourin]

Feel over here, waiting to be noticed.

[Aaron Keefe]

Wait, if you didn't write the letter Janet. And JBC didn't write it. It must have been a ghost.

[Adel]

Paul Saborin.

[Paul Sabourin]

I have taken the form of Paul Saborin, but I am in fact the ghost that haunts cryptic letters.

[Adel]

Oh, actually, I'm so sorry to do this. I'm sorry. Gu. Can you say musical guest Soul?

[Paul Sabourin]

Musical guest. Tin Machine. Danitra Vance.

[JPC]

You made that so much better.

[Paul Sabourin]

Adult Joe Piscopo.

[Janet Varney]

Yeah, he's doing music.

[Adel]

Yeah, he's in Grease too.

[Paul Sabourin]

A short film by Albert Brooks.

[Aaron Keefe]

Finally.

[Paul Sabourin]

We won't be doing them after the first seven episodes or so.

[JPC]

Careful.

[Paul Sabourin]

It didn't quite work out.

[Aaron Keefe]

You can get stuck in that voice. JPC got stuck in that voice for three years. It was horrible.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Paul Sabourin]

Say, did you guys get the cryptid letter? Wait, you got one that should be a cryptic letter. I called it a cryptid letter because apparently I got one that's actually a love monster.

[Janet Varney]

Yeah. I'm this close to catching the Mothman. That's what I call Richard Gere.

[JPC]

I can say the most arrogant you've ever sounded. JPC is you saying, I'm this close to catching the Mothman. That's the most arrogant you've ever sounded. I can't believe I'm saying it, but it's true.

[Aaron Keefe]

I agree.

[Janet Varney]

At best, decades away, that's so close I've ever been.

[Aaron Keefe]

Paul Savorin on our little podcast. An absolute dream come true.

[Paul Sabourin]

Aw.

[Aaron Keefe]

I had the absolute pleasure of being on the Joco Cruise with these two. And I am not exaggerating when I say I had the time of my life. Now, Paul, Janet, do you get that a lot about the Joco Cruise of people saying that they had the best.

[Paul Sabourin]

Week of their life, a surprising amount of time? And by that I mean when anybody says it, it's very flattering. But, yes, it's a very good time. It's a week long. Hey, I'm kicking into plugs already. It's a week long, sort of nerd themed cruise with comedy and music and podcasters and writers and gaming and all sorts of people exploring all sorts of enthusiasms in a cool, awesome, inclusive, welcoming atmosphere. And also there's fruity drinks and beaches every so often.

[JPC]

Well, this is all really sweet and stuff, but you're making the people on this podcast right now feel bad, like they're not gonna be on the cruise.

[Paul Sabourin]

Oh, you would think that, wouldn't you? Well, if you look on the back. If you look on the back of your cryptic letters, you will see invitations for all of you to participate in JoCo Cruise 2025, happening March 2nd through 9th, 2025.

[Adel]

Oh, gosh.

[JPC]

Quick, adult, make sure there's not a Bone Thugs and Harmony concert you'd be missing, because I know you wouldn't go if that were the case.

[Adel]

I mean, there's always a Bone Thugs in Harmony concert I'm missing.

[Janet Varney]

We just wait. They might be announcing more special guests. We don't know that Bone Thugs won't be joining the Joker Cruise.

[Adel]

Well, they Might Be Giants is going, but possibly Bone Thugs and Harmony could be joining.

[Janet Varney]

Maybe they Might Be Giants will do. Crossroads.

[Paul Sabourin]

Yeah, maybe they Might Be Giants. Is that like a cross stick of Bone Thugs in Harmony somehow scramble them. Not enough. Put them back together.

[JPC]

There you go.

[Paul Sabourin]

But, yeah, no, you're all coming to Joco Cruz. I'm so excited.

[Aaron Keefe]

I am so thrilled. It was truly my favorite week of the year this year. Paul, you made me. This is not going to make any sense out of context, but Paul made me laugh so hard, I got sick. I was watching. It was James Piano, like, show, I think, and the piano was right by.

[Paul Sabourin]

The casino piano bar, right next to, like, an open casino and stuff. Yeah.

[Aaron Keefe]

And I'm sitting at the piano bar and I'm watching the show, and there's a game of pushy quarters, a very loud game of pushy quarters happening. You know that casino game with the quarters that you put it drop a.

[Paul Sabourin]

Quarter and it falls down and little levers shove them out and shove them down to the next level.

[JPC]

And theoretically, and whatever it's called, it should only be called pushy quarters.

[Paul Sabourin]

It is pushy quarters.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Aaron Keefe]

And Paul, you. I'll tell you, every year.

[Janet Varney]

I went to the pushy quarters in St. Louis one time, and it was one of the worst experiences of my life. Stay far away from.

[Adel]

Oh, you went to the French pushy quarters, which is a lot of drunks. And boss.

[Paul Sabourin]

That'S got the second E with the accent U on it. And that's a whole other beast.

[Aaron Keefe]

But, Pearl, how would you describe it? How would you describe this? There's like a pushy quarters event on the ship.

[Paul Sabourin]

Yeah.

[Janet Varney]

People. Yeah.

[Paul Sabourin]

It's actually a number of years ago. It actually, I think Paul F. Tompkins, of all people, who will also be on the cruise this year, funny enough, but, like, he sort of was talking about this game and we were all sitting around and enjoying sort of how ridiculous it is and the fact that it's in a casino and it's. Somehow that turned into us all going down to the pushy quarters game and deciding to Stand around it as if it were like the most exciting craps table there ever was and just cheering and losing our minds. And we decided that every year we were going to make sort of a pushy quarters tournament, quote unquote, which just involves, you know, 50 or 60 people standing around this machine and just going berserk every time anyone knocks a quarter off the edge.

[Aaron Keefe]

But this pushy quarters event was the same time as James Show. And so Paul went down to sort of Nick's, the pushy quarters event, and then came over to the show and went, hey, I'm gonna let them scream for five minutes, get it out of their system, and then I'll be back. And then Paul, you came back over and said. He said, don't worry, guys, now it's called shushy quarters.

[Paul Sabourin]

Oh.

[Aaron Keefe]

And he didn't even look behind him when he said the joke. He didn't even wait to get the laugh. He was in motion when he said, don't worry, guys, now it's called shushy quarters.

[Paul Sabourin]

It was a drive by.

[Aaron Keefe]

It was a drive by joke and I lost my fucking mind. Yeah, I was a little drunk. I was a little bit drunk. I don't care, Janet.

[Janet Varney]

I don't care.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'll tell anyone I was a little bit drunk, but I lost my mind that I had to get up and leave James show. I was taught to get a servant. Oh, I laughed so hard.

[Paul Sabourin]

That's a service I provide every single passenger. At some point during the week, I will just do a little drive by joke that will cause you to collapse or otherwise have issues.

[Adel]

Sushi quarters also sounds like a Downton Abbey spin off or something.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yes. Okay. Take all my money.

[Adel]

I'm ready to watch, please.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah.

[JPC]

Everything similar, but just in whispers.

[Adel]

Yeah.

[JPC]

The chauffeur is an actor. Is that what happens in Downton Abbey? The chauffeur is an actor.

[Aaron Keefe]

No one knows for sure.

[Paul Sabourin]

Everybody's an actor. Like, there's not a very creative show.

[JPC]

The housekeeper is an actress.

[Paul Sabourin]

The actor is a different actor.

[Aaron Keefe]

So, Janet, you've been on the show 150,000 times, so we've asked this to you before, but, Paul, what is your relationship with riddles, puzzles, lateral thinking problems, et cetera?

[Paul Sabourin]

It's sort of love hate. I generally love them, except when I don't and I can't predict when I'm not going to love them. So hopefully that won't come around in the next 60 minutes or so. But for the most part, I'm, you know, I'm a big Cheeseball. And I love terrible humor and puns and stuff, so.

[Aaron Keefe]

I mean, you're Mr. Shushy Quarters.

[Paul Sabourin]

I am Mr. Shush, yeah. As has been illustrated by that anecdote. But, yeah, no, generally I enjoy them probably more than. Certainly more than a grown man should.

[Janet Varney]

Sure, yeah.

[JPC]

Seconded.

[Paul Sabourin]

But I don't. It's more of a passive love than an active enjoyment, as you all have created a whole industry out of it here.

[Janet Varney]

And, Janet, not to leave you out, this is the second time that you've been on the show with a man named Paul. So what the fuck is going on with you?

[JPC]

In honor of our guest. Are you appalled by that?

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, my God.

[JPC]

Wow.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, my God.

[Paul Sabourin]

That's working several different angles at once.

[JPC]

I haven't even stretched yet. Hold on.

[Adel]

Oh, papers.

[Aaron Keefe]

Careful, Janet, careful.

[Adel]

Oh.

[JPC]

Oh. Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. Erin, Erin, Erin, Erin, Erin. Get it, Aaron.

[Paul Sabourin]

Erin, did you break your funny bone?

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, my God. Turn off all the microphones.

[Janet Varney]

Just so you know, Janet, we do have a very popular segment on this show called Paul Ruddles. So if you ever want to bring Paul Rudd on the show, we're more than willing to make that happen, because I think he would really enjoy doing some of our Paul Ruddles.

[JPC]

I agree, and I'm on it.

[Janet Varney]

Okay. Just. Yeah.

[JPC]

How far away did you say you were from Catching the Mothman?

[Janet Varney]

It's definitely.

[JPC]

That would be that general timeline for me getting Paul Rudd on the show.

[Janet Varney]

Yeah.

[Paul Sabourin]

When he said he was this close, his arms were so far apart.

[Adel]

Very quickly, I do want to say just before we get any emails about it, Paul, you mentioned breaking a funny bone. I do have to legally say the members of Bone Thugs in Harmony are as follows. Busybone, Crazybone, Lazybone, Wishbone, Flesh and Bone.

[Aaron Keefe]

Wishbone is in there.

[Paul Sabourin]

Wishbone the dog from pbs.

[JPC]

Yeah, that's cool.

[Aaron Keefe]

I love that for him.

[Adel]

That's.

[JPC]

Actually, I have to say, what you've just done. ADL is pretty appropriate for the warmup I prepared.

[Adel]

What?

[Paul Sabourin]

As we just hopped on the Segway.

[JPC]

I can only assume Casey's putting in a drum roll. I am Old Man Puzzles, and I'm an actor.

[Janet Varney]

Casey.

[Aaron Keefe]

No. Casey.

[Adel]

Casey, that's not a drum roll.

[Aaron Keefe]

And that was a jpc. Do not blame Casey for that was jpc.

[Janet Varney]

First of all, if I fart, Erin, you'll know it because you'll be leaving the room that you're in.

[Aaron Keefe]

How. What the fuck?

[JPC]

Good.

[Janet Varney]

I know. That sucks, right?

[Aaron Keefe]

Janet, it is an absolute honor this you the first time you came on the show. Was 2019. It is the end of 2024. It is your first time as old man Puzzle. How do you feel? What. What's going through your mind right now?

[JPC]

This is like, I feel nervous. Pregame interview, my heart was racing in a way I wasn't prepared for before we started recording. I was like, wait. Usually I just come in here and ruin the episode passively. Not unlike you enjoying riddles and puzzles passively, Paul. Imagine now you are stuck in the driver's seat, and you're going to actively ruin it. You're going to actively ruin it. So I'm feeling very nervous, but also I'm excited and hopeful. The reason that prompted this stirring event is that when I was at a convention this year, a wonderful. And I cannot believe I'm blanking on your name. You know I love you. And you came and you gave me this book, and I'm just blanking and I. And then there was an inscription, and I was like, oh, my gosh, she inscribed it to me. And then I realized, no, this is like, it's been inscribed from, like, 1950 for Ruth Dyson. So this Ennis Reese is not the person who gave this to me, and I am not Ruth Dyson. But it is a very cool. And obviously, I know we're not a visual podcast, but it's a very cool book, very cute. And it's called Riddles. Riddles Everywhere. And there's a man. No. Well, I guess it's like a. I don't know. Is it a founding father? He has a little ponytail with a ribbon. That's usually code for that, right? And then maybe a child or another small person holding on tight. And the horse. Everyone's happy. Everyone's excited. In this drawing on the COVID of Riddles Everywhere.

[Janet Varney]

Janet, is it worth leaving a little pause so if we remember the person's name, we can drop it in later?

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Aaron Keefe]

No, no, no. Dbc. That's strike two. I'm gonna take away your card.

[Janet Varney]

First of all, you don't know everybody's name, okay? Just so you know, you don't know everybody's name. You might think you know everybody's name, but you don't know everybody's name.

[Paul Sabourin]

Some people's names are that don't fart name. Shame. Aaron.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, I'm the bad guy. I'm the bad guy?

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Janet Varney]

Well, what's the alternative, Aaron? The bad guy's me.

[JPC]

Get real.

[Janet Varney]

Never get real.

[Aaron Keefe]

Janet, I'm so excited that your old man puzzles. My God, I feel so much safer.

[JPC]

Oh, don't feel safe. Don't feel safe. You haven't. You haven't read any of the riddles in the book, so I must beg you not to feel safe in any way, shape, or form. But the warm up is something that I came up with my friend and partner, Brandon, quite some time ago. And it's just based off this dumb thing that he and I do together. And then we. We were walking in the streets of New York City and got on this weird, dumb run of doing these little crazy, stupid make em ups. And I was like, oh, this could almost be. And I stress almost. And yet we're doing it. This could almost be like a fun game for. Hey, riddle, riddle. So I held on to my little list, which I revisited this morning, realizing I had no memory of what any of it meant. And then I had to put the pieces back together very, very quickly to shape this game as our warmup game. Now, this is a game that we made up that is involving bees. Okay? We like bees. Bees are important pollinators. They're wonderful. They don't actively want to sting you because they will give up their sweet, tiny bee life if they do. We love all types of bees, and so we are going to be playing a little bee guessing game where you help me identify what type of beef I'm describing. To give you an example, these guys are tiny and love to fly real fast with some help. What kind of bee is it?

[Adel]

B2 bombers. Boo. Bees.

[JPC]

That's a really good answer. But I said it's tiny, tiny bitty.

[Janet Varney]

And they like to help. They like to help other people, right?

[JPC]

No. They can only fly fast with some help.

[Paul Sabourin]

Rocket bees.

[Janet Varney]

Friend bees.

[Adel]

Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm a rocket bee.

[JPC]

Okay. Would you like to know the answer?

[Aaron Keefe]

Yes.

[Adel]

Yes.

[JPC]

Beebees.

[Adel]

Bebes.

[JPC]

Bebees. Okay, okay, okay.

[Aaron Keefe]

I see, I see.

[JPC]

So that's the sample.

[Janet Varney]

I get you.

[Paul Sabourin]

I get you.

[JPC]

That's the sample. So if I said, this gal loves teak outdoor furniture, what kind of bee would it be?

[Janet Varney]

Oh, what teak outdoor furniture?

[JPC]

And don't overcomplicate it. Just think about, like, patio bee. What is teak made out of crate and be rolls? Would be.

[Adel]

It's a.

[JPC]

Would be. Okay. Does that make sense?

[Paul Sabourin]

I have to reorient myself to.

[JPC]

No, you have to reorient the direction. I have to. These are very special bees.

[Paul Sabourin]

Now, I'm on your wavelength.

[JPC]

These are very special.

[Janet Varney]

You're the one who doesn't have to. You got that one? You don't have to reorient you're good.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Janet Varney]

We have to reorient.

[JPC]

Yeah. Okay. This guy gets high on a wet morning, there's two clues.

[Janet Varney]

Doobies, doobies, doobies, doobies, doobies. That's right.

[JPC]

It's a doobie.

[Adel]

Mountain Doobies.

[Aaron Keefe]

Caes.

[JPC]

It's a doobie. Okay. It's a doobie. These guys love to scare you on Halloween. Boobies, boobies, boobies. That's right. Okay.

[Janet Varney]

That don't scare me.

[Paul Sabourin]

And so this was like walking around the streets of New York just coming up with 800 boobies.

[Janet Varney]

Yes.

[JPC]

Yeah. It's so sad and stupid.

[Aaron Keefe]

I love it.

[JPC]

This group is mad, but they'll still chase you down to get up close and personal.

[Adel]

Paparazzi Bees.

[Janet Varney]

Janet, is there any chance that it's paparazzi?

[Adel]

Could it be paparazzi? Hey, Janet, can I talk to you for a second?

[JPC]

It is not.

[Adel]

Janet, can I talk to you for a second?

[JPC]

It is not.

[Adel]

Hey, Janet, can I teach?

[Aaron Keefe]

Janet, he really needs this.

[Adel]

You look beautiful today.

[Janet Varney]

Thank you so much.

[Adel]

Thank you so much. Okay. But could it. But I need this. Win so bad. Gemma got kidnapped.

[Aaron Keefe]

What are you guys talking about?

[JPC]

I heard she just went on a trip. Nothing. Any other answers other than paparazzi? They're mad. And I mean real mad.

[Paul Sabourin]

Angry. Be perazzi.

[JPC]

Maybe not. Maybe not of their own volition, but maybe they're just really mad and they want to get up really close and really personal. Maybe with, like, their teeth.

[Adel]

Oh, be recudas.

[JPC]

Yeah, close with their teeth. I think they all end in B instead. None of them start with B.

[Adel]

Okay.

[JPC]

Okay.

[Adel]

Cecil B. Demille. A close up. Cecil B. Demille.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Janet Varney]

They follow you around.

[JPC]

You said they're going to. Yeah, they're really, really angry. They seem really angry, but they still are going to, like, chase you to get close to you.

[Janet Varney]

Tennessibees.

[JPC]

So, like, tenacity. Do you give up on this one?

[Aaron Keefe]

I give up.

[Janet Varney]

Yeah.

[JPC]

Rabies, Ray.

[Aaron Keefe]

Rabies.

[JPC]

Rabies.

[Paul Sabourin]

Oh, you should have said the other part where they all look like Ray Donovan.

[JPC]

I know. Listen, there's no rhyme or reason to the way these clues work. So good luck continued. Good luck to you. These guys always order. These guys always order the whiskey. Bacon burger.

[Adel]

Applebee's.

[Aaron Keefe]

That's right.

[JPC]

That's right.

[Paul Sabourin]

Chill. Bees.

[JPC]

This insecure. This insecure group Copies cool kids. This insecure group Wannabes. Wannabes.

[Paul Sabourin]

Yes.

[JPC]

I got Erin. Okay. This.

[Aaron Keefe]

I would like to see a scene. I'm so sorry.

[JPC]

Yes, please.

[Aaron Keefe]

The four of you are. I wish. The four of you are. Wannabes who are just kids who are trying to be cool at your lunch table, and you're sort of brainstorming in hell. The four of you can be cooler.

[Adel]

So today is the first day of the rest of our lives. We are going to become popular. We are going to rule the school. And the brainstorming session starts now.

[Paul Sabourin]

Well, it sounds like you already started by, you know, talking like a sweathog.

[Adel]

Thank you so much. I'm glad you noticed. Mr. Carter. Mr. Carter. Is that right?

[Paul Sabourin]

O o o. We were all born in 2007. How do we know these references to a 1970s sitcom?

[JPC]

Tick tock is always the answer. Hey, could you guys just fill me on what you guys decide? I'm just eating lunch because I know we're meeting at lunch, but it's also, like, the only time to eat lunch, so.

[Janet Varney]

Denise, no, stop. You.

[Paul Sabourin]

You can't.

[Janet Varney]

You can't eat your nerd lunch here. We're trying to be cool.

[Adel]

Now be cool.

[JPC]

What do you. What? So what, do we not get to eat? Or is there some kind of cool lunch we're supposed to be eating?

[Adel]

We get to eat, but no sandwiches, no lunchables. Shakur.

[Aaron Keefe]

Nerd say what?

[Adel]

What?

[Aaron Keefe]

What? Losers.

[Janet Varney]

Oh, no.

[Paul Sabourin]

I'm really so cool, though. Biffy Cooler like Garrett May. We should be mean to each other all the time. Is that how you be cool?

[Janet Varney]

No, Biff. Biffy's not cool. He's one of the. He's one of the least cool kids in school. He's just a bully.

[JPC]

What? So that's. That's what you said, right, guys? Up top.

[Paul Sabourin]

Yeah.

[Janet Varney]

Don't say level. Denise, what's going on?

[Paul Sabourin]

Like your mom's butt.

[Janet Varney]

Is that. Guys. Carl, what are you doing?

[Paul Sabourin]

I don't know. I don't know. That's the problem. I don't know where to go from here. What's cool on TV? Besides Mr. Cotter, of course.

[Adel]

Yeah, Mr. Biffy. Biff. What's cool on TV nowadays?

[Aaron Keefe]

You guys talking to me?

[Janet Varney]

Don't talk to him. He's even less cool than us. What are you guys doing?

[Aaron Keefe]

What do you mean I'm less cool than you? I'm a fucking teacher, man. You guys are nerds.

[Janet Varney]

You think teachers are cool, Mr. Biffy?

[Aaron Keefe]

I think I'm cool. I drank beer this weekend, Losers.

[Janet Varney]

Oh, how many you drink beer all weekend? Everyone knows.

[JPC]

I feel like I smell the beer.

[Janet Varney]

You drink it in your car.

[Paul Sabourin]

Mr. Biffy is the best ethics teacher I've ever had.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, I'm a fantastic ethics teacher. And I had 12 beers every day this weekend. That's so cool. Mr. Biffy. I'm not sure.

[JPC]

So you're supposed to be in like the kids lunchroom during lunch. Don't you have like the teachers lounge? You can go hang out.

[Aaron Keefe]

They don't want to talk to me in there.

[JPC]

Oh, you guys, should we let Mr. Biffy sit with us?

[Aaron Keefe]

This is like. Really? Do you guys have an open seat?

[Paul Sabourin]

Well, here's. Here's a question, Mr. Biffy. Who's your favorite sweathog from Mr. Carter?

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, I'm very young. I don't know what that is. Can I borrow some of your lunches? My wife left and now no one grocery shops.

[Adel]

Yeah, of course, of course. Here you go.

[JPC]

When are you gonna give him back?

[Janet Varney]

Wait a second. I actually don't think I belong here. Nothing anyone's saying here makes sense to me. I think you guys. Oh, you mean am I just normal?

[Paul Sabourin]

You don't know.

[Adel]

You don't.

[Janet Varney]

Oh, you don't know.

[Paul Sabourin]

You don't know. Like the cool stuff we're. Come on. I'm trying to be cool guys.

[Adel]

Yeah, you don't. Oh, you don't know.

[JPC]

Oh, you don't even know.

[Aaron Keefe]

Whatever, nerd.

[Paul Sabourin]

I bet you want to hang out with Mr. Biffy. You're so uncool.

[Adel]

Oh, choosy moms choose biffy.

[Janet Varney]

I think Mr. Biffy can take my spot. I'm just gonna risk it and like try showing up to a different lunch table and just like see if I can hang.

[Aaron Keefe]

Alright. Good luck.

[Janet Varney]

Okay.

[Adel]

Good luck.

[Janet Varney]

Good luck, guys. Sup? Sup? Sup? Sup?

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, he's talking to himself at the table over there. That's so sad.

[Adel]

See?

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh brother.

[JPC]

This gal has a responsibility to fulfill.

[Janet Varney]

Suzy.

[Aaron Keefe]

Responsibilitiby.

[Adel]

Responsibiliby.

[Janet Varney]

Responsibisiby.

[JPC]

It's a little more simple than that. Think back to the one who liked teak furniture. But this one has something they are supposed to do.

[Adel]

Could be.

[Janet Varney]

Would be.

[Paul Sabourin]

Maybe.

[Adel]

I said maybe.

[JPC]

And this gal is. This gal is able to fulfill a responsibility.

[Janet Varney]

Oh, she's an ab List again.

[JPC]

Just an extension of what we'll be. Is able to.

[Paul Sabourin]

Did be.

[JPC]

Can I.

[Aaron Keefe]

Will be.

[Janet Varney]

Will be.

[Adel]

Can be.

[Janet Varney]

A wallaby.

[Aaron Keefe]

Wallaby Would be.

[JPC]

Oh, those are really good.

[Adel]

Wonder Wallaby.

[JPC]

It's a can be. It's a can be.

[Paul Sabourin]

Ambidextrous.

[JPC]

All right. Those are dumb. These critters have a bit of skin problems.

[Adel]

Oh, Saria bee.

[Aaron Keefe]

So close. So close.

[JPC]

Yeah, really close.

[Paul Sabourin]

Ecksbeema.

[Janet Varney]

Eggs. Yeah, eggs.

[Adel]

Eggs.

[JPC]

Think, don't think human, think animal.

[Adel]

Oh, rabies again.

[JPC]

Scabies.

[Janet Varney]

Scabies.

[JPC]

Scabies.

[Adel]

I said scabies.

[Aaron Keefe]

Someone unplug Adam. Hold on back in.

[Janet Varney]

I want to see a quick scene. I want to see a quick scene. Adel and Paul, you are getting brunch together and all of the things. And Aaron, you're the waiter. All of the things on the menu are egg related, but also kind of like in an unappetizing way.

[Paul Sabourin]

All right, cool. Thanks for meeting me here, Adelaide. I've heard good things about this place, but I've never been here. What you gonna get on your omelette? What's on the menu?

[Adel]

Typically, I do an eggs Florentine or something, but this. Hold on. This looks a little different. The special's here. Egg mix.

[Aaron Keefe]

Hey, everybody. Welcome in.

[Adel]

Hi.

[Aaron Keefe]

Hi. Can I get you some bottomless raw egg mimosas to start or. How are we feeling? We drinking today?

[Paul Sabourin]

I don't know if I can go.

[Adel]

Raw egg mimosa, Very rocky of the restaurant.

[Paul Sabourin]

Do you have anything on. Do you have anything on draft?

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, yeah, we got several IPAs with raw eggs. Let's see, what else? Do you look like a hazy ipa? Because it's hazy because of the Egypt.

[Paul Sabourin]

Do you have anything with a little less, like, egg?

[Adel]

Yeah, like, less egg or like, no egg?

[Paul Sabourin]

Any eggless?

[Adel]

Like eggless.

[Paul Sabourin]

Oh, can I get, like, a non eggaholic? Is that a thing?

[Aaron Keefe]

Our eggnog has no egg in it, but everything else is gonna be filled to the brim with egg.

[Paul Sabourin]

What's in the eggnog?

[Aaron Keefe]

I don't know. Frankly, I don't want to know.

[Paul Sabourin]

Just a glass of dust?

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah. Yeah, I'm pretty sure. So you know what? I'll just get drinks on me. I'm gonna bring you a couple egg filled Bloody Marys, and I will be right back.

[Paul Sabourin]

Oh, okay. Any guesses as to what they're gonna garnish this thing with?

[Adel]

I mean, it's probably gonna be, like, yolk or, like, dusted a yolk or something.

[Paul Sabourin]

Or maybe it's like just the shell. The empty shell.

[Adel]

Oh, yeah. Like, use that as, like, a serving dish or. Paul, how do you feel about getting up and leaving?

[Paul Sabourin]

I'm for it. How do we do it without making.

[Janet Varney]

You guys gonna leave? You guys trying to leave? Sorry.

[Paul Sabourin]

Well, no, I have.

[Janet Varney]

I'm at the other table. I don't mean to pry. I'd stay.

[Paul Sabourin]

Like you already are, but I'd stay.

[Janet Varney]

If I were you guys. Just, just, just. I'm a regular Here. I'm a regular here.

[Paul Sabourin]

Okay.

[Janet Varney]

I'd stay if I were you.

[Paul Sabourin]

Is. I mean any. Why should. So far it's a little. I don't know. It's a lot more eggy than we were expecting. Does it get better or different?

[Adel]

It's very novelty.

[Janet Varney]

It's better, but it's very eggy here. But it's eggy in a way that I think you're really gonna egg. Joy.

[JPC]

Did somebody want to meet the chef?

[Janet Varney]

The chef?

[Adel]

You're cooking the children.

[JPC]

What do you mean? I'm a human woman.

[Paul Sabourin]

I was going to turn into a whole ratatouille thing where you had another chicken on your head. Under your head, probably. Good. We ended there.

[JPC]

These gals love to wear heels and keep the tab open.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, Sex and the City. Bees.

[Janet Varney]

Sexist.

[JPC]

Maybe. Maybe better. Maybe better than life.

[Adel]

Mr. Beag.

[Aaron Keefe]

Mr. Beagle.

[JPC]

Yes, it's Mr. Beag.

[Janet Varney]

These gals. And the answer is Mr. Beag.

[Paul Sabourin]

You're so B. Randa.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, yeah, I am. Classic.

[JPC]

Where do you open a tab?

[Adel]

A bar? Br.

[Paul Sabourin]

Barbie.

[Janet Varney]

Barbie. Barbies.

[Aaron Keefe]

Barbie.

[Paul Sabourin]

Barbies.

[JPC]

This group travels by van and loves snacks.

[Adel]

Margot Robbie groupies.

[JPC]

Ooh, that's good.

[Paul Sabourin]

That is good.

[JPC]

Think. Focus on the snacks. It's a certain type of snack.

[Janet Varney]

Oh, Scooby sets. Yeah.

[JPC]

Scoobies. Scoobies.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, that's.

[JPC]

That's really good. These snobs love a valuable. Wait. What?

[Adel]

Can I. I want to see a scene real quick.

[JPC]

Oh, I'm sorry. I don't think so.

[Adel]

Totally fine. Call the shots.

[Paul Sabourin]

Was no an option this whole time?

[Adel]

Let's keep going. Let's keep going.

[JPC]

No, no, no, no, no. Please, please. At all. I just wanted to test the parameters of my power. I see. Now I have no power. Go ahead.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, you can. You can behead us if you want. You got full.

[Paul Sabourin]

I can be head.

[Aaron Keefe]

That's pretty whimsical for something really violent that's about to happen to one of us.

[JPC]

It turns everything whimsical. It's a fun game.

[Adel]

I'm realizing bees are everywhere. I do want to see a scene. Speaking of Scoobies. Of course. Scooby Gang. Janet, you're going to be Daphne. JPC you're going to be Scooby Doo, the titular Scooby Doo. And you are? You two have sort of ran off into a room somehow by yourselves. And Scooby, you are professing your love for Daphne.

[Janet Varney]

My word is really, really, really. Rest.

[JPC]

Your wet is really what?

[Janet Varney]

Oh, fuck. I forgot. Only the stoner can understand Me?

[JPC]

You're. Yahoo. The W. What? I'm sorry, Scoob. Would you like a Scooby Snack?

[Janet Varney]

No, I ordered. Well, yes. I mean, if I can't get. If I can't get the other thing I was looking for, maybe a Scooby.

[JPC]

I'm gonna assume that's a yes. Here you go.

[Aaron Keefe]

God.

[Janet Varney]

Okay. Well, it's pretty good, actually. Well, guess it's back to jerk it off for old Scooby Doo.

[JPC]

What? You want me to scratch behind your ears? Okay.

[Janet Varney]

No, I really don't.

[Aaron Keefe]

Actually.

[JPC]

Here you go.

[Janet Varney]

I do. Is it. Is it a truism on that show that only Shaggy can understand, Scooby? Or can everyone understand?

[Adel]

It's like a Chewbacca Han Solo situation.

[Aaron Keefe]

Really?

[JPC]

Is that true?

[Paul Sabourin]

Everybody could basically understand. The rules are probably a little flexible.

[JPC]

Yeah, they might be right. Might be.

[Paul Sabourin]

They might be giants. Is that the answer?

[JPC]

Yeah, it's the end that's the answer. All right. I'll just do a couple more of these and then we can, I guess, move on to real riddles. I don't know. I guess you guys can determine that. Yeah.

[Adel]

I just want to say these fucking rule.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, these are great.

[JPC]

Great. These snobs love a valuable antique.

[Janet Varney]

Sotheby.

[JPC]

Yeah, Sotheby.

[Aaron Keefe]

Great.

[Adel]

Or Southern bees. Or come to the gazebo.

[Paul Sabourin]

I may only be a simple Southern bee lawyer.

[Adel]

Mops brow with honey.

[Aaron Keefe]

Makes it worse.

[Adel]

Gazbo. Gazbee. Bo Casey put in something that works there.

[Aaron Keefe]

Ladies and gentlemen of the derby.

[JPC]

Yes. Yes. Okay. Okay. This is a double clue. Keep your eye out for this honor student.

[Adel]

Valab.

[JPC]

It's two separate clues that meet like, that aren't related but take you to the same answer of what kind of bee it is. Keep your eye out for this honor student.

[Janet Varney]

Beauty is in the eye of the bee holder.

[Paul Sabourin]

Beauty and the bees.

[JPC]

Can I ask you something, Beauty? Yeah. What about that clue leads you to Beauty and the Bees.

[Adel]

Bees are guest. Bees are guest.

[Aaron Keefe]

Beauty.

[Paul Sabourin]

I'm trying to think laterally here.

[JPC]

This game.

[Aaron Keefe]

Belle just falls in love with a bunch of bees. Yeah. There's something sweet and almost kind, but they are bees.

[Paul Sabourin]

It would change the movie quite a bit if Beast was just a gigantic bee.

[JPC]

I mean, we need to see a scene.

[Paul Sabourin]

Everything else is the same.

[JPC]

I think we need to see a scene. Aaron, obviously, you're Belle.

[Aaron Keefe]

Thank you.

[JPC]

Obviously, you're the bee. And then I guess JBC and Adel. You're like animated pots and pans and stuff. Whatever feels right for you.

[Aaron Keefe]

You're not allowed to leave My castle anymore. Please, please. I feel like I just am misunderstanding you. You seem gentle. There's something behind your eyes. There are a lot of them. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Please, I won't cause any trouble. No one's ever talked to be that way before. I'm feeling very vulnerable and I don't like it.

[Adel]

Ah, madam. Perhaps I can illuminate the situation. I am a flashlight.

[Aaron Keefe]

This fucking guy again. Oh.

[JPC]

No.

[Aaron Keefe]

If he turns on, will you sort of fly towards him? Sorry. I don't know. Do I look like a moth? Check out the stinger. Oh, a moth flies to the light. I see. I didn't think I was going to kidnap someone quite this dumb. Excuse me.

[JPC]

And the orchestra swells for a song.

[Aaron Keefe]

Tail as old as bee. Song as old as beep.

[Janet Varney]

A tale as old as bees. Someone really did a half day at the office on a tale as old as bees.

[Adel]

For that parody, I need six bees.

[Aaron Keefe]

Half a day at.

[Janet Varney]

What do we think? That's lunch.

[Paul Sabourin]

Well, the idea corkboard is just so blank.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, I'm on fire. Let's go get sushi.

[JPC]

Keep your eye out for this. Honor students.

[Janet Varney]

Is it possible that this is like. I don't know a way to say this without having to explain it, but how? An AP class is an AB class. Is this going to be.

[JPC]

No, but you're right there. What? Okay, keep your eyes open. Hey, everybody, be on the lookout.

[Janet Varney]

Be on the lookout.

[JPC]

So it's an.

[Janet Varney]

It isn't B standard.

[JPC]

What kind of classes do you take if you're an honor student? Jpc. You said it.

[Janet Varney]

AP classes. AP classes.

[Adel]

Advanced beelacement.

[JPC]

So it's apio. Apb.

[Paul Sabourin]

Ap. That's where B's live.

[Aaron Keefe]

Apb.

[JPC]

Apb.

[Janet Varney]

Apb.

[JPC]

Keep it. Be on the lookout.

[Aaron Keefe]

Plus AP classes.

[JPC]

That one was very. Okay, how about this easy one? They're too young to sit on the dock. They're too young to sit on the dock.

[Adel]

Sorry, babies.

[JPC]

That's correct. See, that was song oriented. So Paul knew it right away. He's a musical genius. What were we going to say, Adel?

[Adel]

Oh, I was going to take us to break.

[Janet Varney]

Oh, no, no need.

[Adel]

Yeah, no worries. Let's keep going.

[Paul Sabourin]

Any other ideas?

[Aaron Keefe]

And that's break. Hi.

[Janet Varney]

Come in, come in, come in, come in.

[Aaron Keefe]

Welcome to my Rocket Money party. I'm celebrating the anniversary of when I downloaded Rocket Money and it changed my life and financial health. Come in, come in, come in.

[Janet Varney]

People are really just doing whatever for parties now, huh?

[Aaron Keefe]

Yes. And guess what? Rocket Money is a personal finance app that Helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings.

[Adel]

Aaron, there's no food, but there's just a ton of bowls and plates with cash on them.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, because Rocket Money helped me save around $700 this year by helping me cancel my subscription. Can you believe?

[Adel]

Still an insane move to put this out at a party.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm awesome. This party rocks. Have fun.

[Janet Varney]

I can't eat cash. And you said come hungry, so. Well, I mean, hey, look for cash. I do love how Rocket Money lets you see all your subscriptions in one place and know exactly where your money is going. And for any you don't want anymore, Rocket Money can help you cancel them with just a few taps. That, to me, is very cool.

[Adel]

What's not cool is that most Americans think they spend about $62 per month on subscriptions, but the real number is closer to $300.

[Aaron Keefe]

No.

[Janet Varney]

Wild. Yeah, Wild.

[Adel]

No, I am subscribed to something called Yum Yum Yum online magazine.

[Janet Varney]

That makes sense for you, though. Come on. Though.

[Adel]

Come on. I'll keep that one. Sorry. I'll keep that one.

[Aaron Keefe]

Rocket Money has over 5 million users and has saved a total of 500 million in canceled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year when using all of the app's features.

[Janet Varney]

Okay, hold on. Rocket money has 5 million users and saved 500 million canceled subscriptions. So that means it'll save every user a million dollars. No, hold on.

[Aaron Keefe]

Bad math. That's why you need Rocket Money.

[Janet Varney]

I need Rocket Money for my math.

[Aaron Keefe]

Everything is color coded JPC and is so satisfying to use and helps me stay so organized. I am so gr. Grateful to have it.

[Janet Varney]

Slaps the money out of ADL's mouth as he tries to eat it. Stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to RocketMoney.com Riddle that's RocketMoney.com Riddle R I D D L E RocketMoney.com Riddle well, it finally happened.

[Adel]

JPC came down to where I work and slapped the cash out of my mouth.

[Aaron Keefe]

Hit us with that yawn sound. Uncle.

[Adel]

Oh, a wild bird. Okay, Aaron, don't yawn.

[Aaron Keefe]

You're gonna do it.

[Janet Varney]

Aaron, don't yawn. You're gonna make me yawn. Ya.

[Aaron Keefe]

Ooh.

[Adel]

Ooh.

[Janet Varney]

I told you you wouldn't like it the way I yawn.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm exhausted. I think I gotta. I think I gotta go home to my Helix mattress.

[Adel]

Oh, yeah. I gotta go home to My Helix mattress. I love my Helix mattress.

[Janet Varney]

And I am home. And I'm on my Helix mattress. It's a midnight luxe. It's the best mattress I've ever had in my entire life. And I'm sleeping on it right now. And this is a dream. I would say you're my puppets.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yes, Anne.

[Adel]

Yes, Ann. Yes, Anne. Gemma. And I also have a midnight Lux. It's the most comfortable bed we've ever owned. It's the best sleep I've ever gotten in my life. Sometimes when our cats are being rambunctious, we'll pick one of them up, say brisket, we'll put him on the Helix. Sleep immediately. He spins around three times, lays down, goes to bed. It soothes all creatures.

[Aaron Keefe]

I've had my mattress for about three years. It. It still is as good as it was the first night I slept on it. And anytime I have a guest come and they stay in my room, they always go, what is this mattress? I'm obsessed.

[Adel]

Oh, a guest.

[Janet Varney]

Aaron, didn't you say that your mattress still sleeps like it's brand spanking new? And didn't you wink when you said spanking?

[Aaron Keefe]

You were here for that.

[Janet Varney]

This could have been a different conversation. Could have been a conversation with a completely different guy.

[Aaron Keefe]

You're in my dream, and you're a puppet, and I'm insane, and you're insane.

[Janet Varney]

And do we all have Helix midnight luxe? Is that the mattress that we all have?

[Aaron Keefe]

I think so.

[Janet Varney]

We are all the same sleeper. Wow.

[Adel]

Well, we just sleep at different times.

[Janet Varney]

We just sleep at different times. But only one of us could be asleep at any given time. Isn't that true? And isn't that true?

[Aaron Keefe]

Isn't that true?

[Adel]

Isn't that true? And you must remember, remember, remember, remember, remember. It is November, which means there is a November offer right now. 25% off site wide. You get two free dream pillows with any mattress purchase. There's also a free bedding bundle. You get two dream pillows, sheet set and mattress protector with any luxe or elite mattress order. And you can find all that and more by going to helixsleep.com riddle again. That's helixsleep.com riddle. All right, you're going to bed. Okay, you're getting comfy.

[Janet Varney]

Helix sleep. Sleep like a podcaster.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, my gosh. CPC hit us with one more yawn.

[Adel]

Cowboy just came running over.

[JPC]

Why get all your holiday decorations delivered through Instacart? Because maybe you only bought two wreaths but have 12 windows. Or maybe your toddler got very Eager with the Advent calendar. Or maybe the inflatable snowman didn't make it through the snowstorm. Or maybe the twinkle lights aren't twinkling. Whatever the reason, this season Instacart's here for hosts and their whole holiday haul. Get decorations from the Home Depot, CVS and more through Instacart and enjoy free delivery on your first three orders. Service fees and terms apply. And we're back. Does APB make sense to you guys now that I've explained it thoroughly over the course of the entire break?

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, we took an hour. We all cried. Just peeked behind the curtain. We all cried. We were confused. We were scared, but we were holding.

[JPC]

Hands in a circle, at least.

[Janet Varney]

Yeah, I did not get it, Janet, until you said, all points be Latin, and then it really clicked for me.

[JPC]

Yeah, I knew that was going to resonate for you.

[Paul Sabourin]

I didn't get it until it was essentially spelled out for me, literally with three letters.

[Adel]

Yeah, I got it. Aaron at some point leaned over and said, be out the poison. That's when I think I got that clip from.

[JPC]

Yeah. Yeah. Okay, this is the last one of those, and then we'll move into this delightful riddle book.

[Adel]

10 more. 10 more.

[JPC]

Well, I'm afraid there are many more, but we're gonna save them for another time. But I will say. Okay, we'll do two more.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yay.

[JPC]

Because. Because this. Because this may already have been answered. So I'm going to supply the clue that will allow you to answer it again. These performers help make a crowd in an Australian cartoon.

[Adel]

Cirque du Sol. B. Bluebee. Bluebee.

[Janet Varney]

These performers help make a crowd.

[JPC]

Someone will know this. Extra bees also, because, again, you did already say the answer earlier.

[Adel]

Kangabees.

[Paul Sabourin]

They might.

[Adel]

Wallabies. Wallabies.

[JPC]

Yeah. Cause, you know, walla is the sound of, like, general mumbling in cartoons. So then I put the Australian thing on it.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, my God.

[Paul Sabourin]

That is a super inside reference. Some of us aren't voice actors.

[JPC]

It is very inside. And finally, this guy is Green Clay Gumby.

[Paul Sabourin]

Hulk Bee. Hulk Bee.

[JPC]

Great job, guys. Great job with the bees. Really, really good work. Thanks a lot.

[Paul Sabourin]

What grade would you give us?

[JPC]

I'd give you a solid B minus.

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay.

[JPC]

Unfortunately, we are going to have to move on to some riddles.

[Adel]

Unfortunately.

[JPC]

Unfortunately, my favorite James Bond actor is George Lazenby.

[Aaron Keefe]

Lazenby.

[JPC]

Okay.

[Janet Varney]

I'm more of a Sean Conner bee.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, my God.

[Paul Sabourin]

George Lazenby.

[Adel]

Octopus. Bee.

[Janet Varney]

Octopus bee.

[JPC]

A warning about the content of this book. What you can expect of these riddles. I Think is clear in the first kind of like, page that's, I think, trying to sort of get you acclimated. And that riddle is, again, it's like an intro that's also a riddle.

[Paul Sabourin]

It's gonna be racist, right?

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah.

[JPC]

Oh, for sure, for sure, for sure. Without a doubt.

[Janet Varney]

If there's any slurs that you need us to beep out, Janet, just let me know. I've got my beep ready.

[JPC]

You got your beep.

[Adel]

Taco Bell, it's Brandon.

[Janet Varney]

We have a Brandon beep on the show. There's nothing I could do about it.

[JPC]

That's cool placement. That's cool placement. I wouldn't have even noticed if you hadn't said it.

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay.

[JPC]

On land and sea and in the air. Riddles, riddles everywhere. Right here in this book, you'll find a few. For example, what's little and likes a clue. Yeah, that's right. I transformed into a witch as I.

[Paul Sabourin]

Read all gonna be read by a witch.

[JPC]

It started to feel like a horrible spell that someone was casting on you.

[Paul Sabourin]

It does definitely add some stakes.

[Janet Varney]

What's little and likes a clue? Is this a child who wants to play the board game Clue?

[JPC]

Unfortunately, that's too sophisticated an answer. The answer is a riddle. And you.

[Paul Sabourin]

What?

[Aaron Keefe]

I love it. I love it.

[Janet Varney]

What?

[JPC]

This is what. This is what you're going to be tasked with. That's kind of riddled in there.

[Janet Varney]

I mean, all of it. All of it.

[Paul Sabourin]

Hey, Janet, can you come over here for a second?

[JPC]

Hey, what's going on, Paul?

[Paul Sabourin]

Is there any way at this point that I can get out of this thing?

[JPC]

I mean, I can. I think there have been a couple of guests. Like, I know Paul Rudd did it once, and they had to go back and erase him out of the entire episode.

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay, you don't think Paul's trying to leave, right?

[Paul Sabourin]

I. I just. I don't think.

[Aaron Keefe]

You don't think he's trying?

[Janet Varney]

Like that bastard Paul Rudd, who got all of our hopes up and then ditched on the episode.

[Aaron Keefe]

But you're close to catching him, right?

[Janet Varney]

Or is that Mothman A couple of decades.

[Paul Sabourin]

Oh, man.

[JPC]

Quietly drift away. It helps if you can back your chair.

[Paul Sabourin]

How about I just. That's. Yeah, that's the plan. I'm just gonna keep getting further away.

[Janet Varney]

Mothman and Ant Man.

[Paul Sabourin]

Okay, ready?

[Janet Varney]

Okay. Break big.

[Paul Sabourin]

Hey, can't wait. Let's go. Let's go. With these. These riddles, we're all.

[JPC]

Okay. Okay, you three and Casey, hit us.

[Paul Sabourin]

With this next riddle.

[JPC]

Janet, Paul seems like he's Getting really far away. Technical glitch.

[Janet Varney]

No, we felt this with Paul Rudd as well. It's just that he gets really small because he's Ant Man.

[Aaron Keefe]

He's leaving.

[Adel]

Huh? He's. Let me look out the window, please.

[JPC]

Still participating?

[Janet Varney]

Yeah.

[Aaron Keefe]

You guys, I'm. I'm sensing a pattern with our guests. Why do they all. Why does this always happen at the 40 minute mark?

[Adel]

Well, I plan for something like this. Takes off big tarp of the table. Top of tarp of the table to you.

[JPC]

Tarp of the table to you.

[Adel]

As you can see under the screen.

[JPC]

Is that a tarpographical map?

[Adel]

Thank you so much, Janet. Outstanding.

[Aaron Keefe]

You're welcome.

[Paul Sabourin]

Hey, guys, I'm back. Just to let you know, it's a tarp B. Graphical map.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh my God, the rains are gonna start melting out of. He's left again. He left again.

[JPC]

He left, he left.

[Aaron Keefe]

He left again. Paul, Paul, Paul.

[JPC]

But in all seriousness, Paul, do we have the same chair? We can talk about it offline. We can talk about it offline.

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay, I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready.

[JPC]

I tremble and shake at the least breath of breeze, yet I can take as much weight as you please.

[Adel]

Leaf scale. Take as much weight as you please. Doctor's office.

[Janet Varney]

Oh, yeah, doctor's office is great when they make weight, don't they? The bastards?

[Adel]

I quake and I tremble at the slightest breath.

[JPC]

I tremble and shake at the least breath of breeze, yet I can take as much weight as you please.

[Janet Varney]

Gravity. Is it like. Gravity?

[Adel]

Is it like a tree branch? My first thought is like tree branch or leaf or something?

[JPC]

Yeah, I mean, I think leaning into the nature side of things makes sense. But it's not a leaf. It's not gravity.

[Janet Varney]

Is this an ant? Is this like a little insect that could hold a bunch of weight?

[JPC]

It's not a cute little insect. Not a bee or an ant.

[Paul Sabourin]

Is it an ugly, large insect?

[Adel]

It's really strong.

[JPC]

Yes. It's Jeff Goldblum as he starts to transform in the Fly.

[Adel]

Yes, yes, yes. Produced by Mel Brooks.

[Paul Sabourin]

Very prescient riddle book you've got.

[Janet Varney]

Okay, so outside, we're close with outside or we're on the right track without.

[JPC]

Yeah, but this thing can be outside or inside.

[Paul Sabourin]

Fuck.

[JPC]

Yeah, Sorry about that.

[Adel]

So it quakes and trembles, but it also holds a lot of weight.

[Janet Varney]

Is it like the Earth?

[JPC]

No.

[Janet Varney]

The planet?

[JPC]

No, that's going very big. And I appreciate the scope, but that's going too big. But not that much too big.

[Paul Sabourin]

The ocean but there.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah.

[Paul Sabourin]

Water.

[JPC]

That's correct. You got it. It's water. Wow.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, that actually is a good riddle. I think it works.

[JPC]

It works.

[Aaron Keefe]

That's amazing.

[JPC]

Now, this one is not so much that I think it's a challenge, but I just. You'll understand why it felt important for me to include this one.

[Janet Varney]

Got it.

[JPC]

Bim. Bam. Blamity. Blee. Children make something that no one can see.

[Paul Sabourin]

Noise.

[JPC]

That's correct.

[Aaron Keefe]

I would like to see a scene. Adel, you are a curmudgeonly neighbor. And Paul and jpc, your two kids who are playing outside of his house.

[Adel]

Yeah. What's going on? Hey, you, too. What's all this racket?

[Janet Varney]

I don't know that we're making a racket, sir. We're just playing. We're playing Pokemon. We're playing Pokemon Pretend poker, mon.

[Adel]

Hey, kid. Should be gambling. What do we. What do we have here? What is.

[Paul Sabourin]

You want in on some of this action, sir?

[Adel]

What are we playing for?

[Janet Varney]

Don't waste your time with him, Chester. He looks like a real pussy. Yeah, I bet he's probably not gonna bet big.

[Paul Sabourin]

He probably can't even handle the game we're playing.

[Janet Varney]

Yeah.

[Adel]

Pussy. You think I'm a pussy? I'll have you know I served many military soldiers at a diner I used to work at. I serve them.

[Janet Varney]

Oh, so you had a job. So you have. Maybe you do have some money?

[Adel]

Yes, I have a pension.

[Paul Sabourin]

Okay, we can work with that.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah. Okay.

[Janet Varney]

Work on a budget. We could do that.

[Adel]

Okay. All right. How do we.

[Paul Sabourin]

Well, first of all, you give us $5,000.

[Adel]

5,000? Okay. Let me. Of course, I keep my money in a duffel bag under my bed.

[JPC]

Let me just.

[Paul Sabourin]

Okay. All right. That's good to know for later.

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay.

[Adel]

Go.

[Paul Sabourin]

Okay, now, the trick here is you gotta close your eyes for about 17 or 26 minutes.

[Adel]

Oh, you've never seen someone close their eyes? So. Well, Here we go. 1. 2.

[Paul Sabourin]

You gotta keep them closed.

[Janet Varney]

3. We cut to 17 minutes later. Holy shit. Chester, he did it. We've never had someone win the game before. Sir. Sir, Wake up. Yeah. You won. You found this 5,000.

[Adel]

Who are you?

[Janet Varney]

You bet 5,000, right?

[Adel]

Yeah. Yes.

[Janet Varney]

That's like our entire nest egg. Okay, well, here's your 10,000.

[Paul Sabourin]

Do we double or nothing?

[Janet Varney]

I don't know.

[Paul Sabourin]

He's really good at that. Twice. There's no way his luck holds.

[Janet Varney]

You kept his eyes closed for 17 minutes.

[Paul Sabourin]

Nobody goes 18, though.

[Janet Varney]

Sir, do you think you could go 18? Do you want to go double or nothing?

[Adel]

Let's do 19.

[Janet Varney]

Holy shit. Okay, this could work for us. Okay, close them and keep them tight.

[Adel]

Oh, and I should tell you my name, Rip Van Winkle.

[Janet Varney]

Yeah, we're kids. That means nothing to us.

[Paul Sabourin]

Oh, is that like a tiktoker?

[Janet Varney]

We were born in 2007. So is that. Who is that?

[Adel]

Do you know Rip Torn? Do kids know Rip Torn? Do kids know Rip Torn?

[Aaron Keefe]

Hold on.

[Adel]

Where you going? Come back here.

[Aaron Keefe]

Hey, come back here.

[Adel]

Do kids know Rip Torn? Hey, do kids know Rip Horn? Do kids know about Rip Horn? Hey, real quick.

[Aaron Keefe]

Do kids know about Ript?

[JPC]

Old man, Ask if someone knows who Ripped Horn is?

[Janet Varney]

One word.

[Aaron Keefe]

That's my favorite.

[Paul Sabourin]

That's gotta go on the soundboard, by the way.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, you kids not fucking. Damn it. Damn it.

[Paul Sabourin]

As if he's what, like a cousin of Rip Van Winkle?

[Adel]

Because I was like, let's start here and then we'll work backwards to Washington Irving.

[Paul Sabourin]

Rodney Allen Ripey. Rodney Allen Ripby. Is that one?

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, yeah, it was.

[JPC]

That was answer number 39. It was answer number 39.

[Paul Sabourin]

All right, put it in the bank for later.

[Adel]

I just want to point out and congratulate and give flowers. Ever since Paul left twice, he's gotten every single riddle right.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah.

[JPC]

Can I say that I'm not surprised at all?

[Paul Sabourin]

I have a system.

[Janet Varney]

Yeah, you don't know what the Paul was that came back. It could be like a multiplicity situation where he's got a closet full of Pauls for different occasions and one of.

[Adel]

The Pauls doesn't hold up. Just like multiplicity.

[Janet Varney]

Yeah, I guess. Yeah, just like multiplicity. One of the Pauls. He probably shouldn't have made that particular Paul.

[Paul Sabourin]

I'd like to see a scene. This is for anyone who wants to participate. I'd like to see a group of different multiplicity Pauls having a meeting, discussing what they're going to do about original Paul, who they just can't take any longer.

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Before we get into this, I'm just gonna bring this up one more time. Should we all be kissing? I know. And I know. And I know. And I know. And I know. Everyone always says the beginning of meetings, I'm pervert Paul. Or you're pervert Paul. You shouldn't be the one kicking off this meeting. Yeah, I'm pervert. And I know I'm pervert Paul, but I'm just saying. I just wanna bring it up and I'll sit down and I'll sit down and you guys know where to find me.

[Adel]

Yeah.

[Janet Varney]

Yeah. Thank you. Perfect. Paul, thank you for sitting down.

[Adel]

Thank you. I'd be up for maybe like. Yeah, I'd be up for some kissing at some point. I do want to get through this meeting first and just like, sort of like, plow through the agenda. Of course. I'm Surf Paul. We all know Surf Paul.

[Aaron Keefe]

Hell, yeah, we do.

[Adel]

Board shorts. Yeah. Why don't we go around. Let's have the rest of the Paul's just kind of announce ourselves.

[Janet Varney]

You know what? Actually, I have something to say. Surf Paul, if you're going to host these meetings, can you at least let me do coffee? Because it sucks that I'm Coffee Paul and I don't get to bring the coffee. And then you serve this coffee, which is, I got to say. And I don't know, you said this was dark roast. This is obviously a light roast. I don't think that you know the difference. Why? Why is Coffee Paul just not in charge of. I mean, it's like if we were having, like, a sex party and we didn't put pervert Paul in charge, that would be insane. And no, pervert Paul, I see you jumping up. We're not turning this into a sex party.

[JPC]

Hey, Single, Single Harmony Paul here. I gotta respectfully agree, agree, agree, agree.

[Adel]

By far, the most impressive of the Pauls.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, Paul. I love single Harmony Paul would die for him.

[Janet Varney]

I got a question for the Paul's. Do you think we were all crafted for too specific a purpose?

[Adel]

And the lights go down, the curtain closes, screen opens. There's a graphic that says, Paul's that. Sort of like the Nickelodeon all that, but it's Paul's that. And then credits roll. It says, Paul, Support. Surf. Paul is played by Paul. Support Harmony. Paul was played by Salt. And then we hear one clapping in the theater. And the camera turns and it's Paul.

[Paul Sabourin]

Sabor, Orson Welles style. There we go.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yes.

[Paul Sabourin]

And scene.

[Adel]

Rose, Paul. Rose, Paul.

[Aaron Keefe]

Rose Paul.

[JPC]

If Mississippi, known as Skippy, gave Ms. Uri, full of fury, her New Jersey to wear at the fair. What? Oh, what would Della wear?

[Adel]

A mini soda. A mini.

[JPC]

I love it. And I must tell you, it's incorrect.

[Aaron Keefe]

A Rhode Island. A Connecticut.

[JPC]

Saying it in a cool voice doesn't necessarily.

[Aaron Keefe]

Florida. I got this. I got this turkey.

[Janet Varney]

He would wear a piece of turkey.

[Adel]

Oh, I think I know Idaho. Is it Idaho? No. Idaho. Don't know. Alaska.

[JPC]

Adam, I can't believe this has happened. I'm not sure if this has ever happened in the history of this show. Not only did you get it right, you added something valuable to the riddle. The answer is actually just I don't know. But Alaska. You said Idaho, but I'll ask her. And that's actually a better answer.

[Aaron Keefe]

I object. I object. Adol's brain is uniquely broken in a way that my brain cannot break. This is unfair.

[JPC]

I mean, I agree with everything you're saying. It doesn't change the fact that he has done something very special here today.

[Aaron Keefe]

I know. And he looks so cool in front of our guests. And I look like.

[JPC]

I know.

[Janet Varney]

Come up like a Tex ass. Yeah, just wears her Texas.

[JPC]

Okay, I need to see a scene. I need to see a scene. Each of you are representing the state you were from in the character that you feel that that state would present as, like, at a little cocktail party for all the states.

[Adel]

All right, everyone, let's make some Illinois. This is a fun party, everyone. Yeah, let's just all just kind of clinkies. Make some more noise. Of course. Some Illinois.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm sorry I'm wicked late. I had to pick up some beer. What's going on? You guys think you're better than me? What are you talking about? How's everyone looking at me?

[Adel]

No, you were.

[Aaron Keefe]

You want to fight?

[Adel]

No.

[Paul Sabourin]

All right, hang on. You guys are going too fast. Let me jot this down. Okay? Do you want to fight? No. Okay, keep going.

[Aaron Keefe]

Who's this nerd?

[Paul Sabourin]

I'm sorry, I made a mistake. I got a racist now. Okay. Who's this nerd? Okay, go, nerd.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm talking to you. What? Where are you? Who are you?

[Paul Sabourin]

I'm Pennsylvania.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

[Paul Sabourin]

G, A, W, D. Yeah.

[JPC]

You guys, what I miss? I. Arizona doubt for a second.

[Paul Sabourin]

Arizona doubt. I gotta put so many of these in quotes because they're puns.

[Adel]

And Indiana, he.

[JPC]

Pour in.

[Paul Sabourin]

Dear. Hey, riddle.

[Janet Varney]

Riddle.

[Paul Sabourin]

Oh, just imagine my surprise.

[Janet Varney]

Those are my people. Hey, if these dumb donkeys learn how to do a typewriter, I'll be shot.

[Aaron Keefe]

Dude.

[JPC]

How are we doing on time? How many more riddles would you like to jam up?

[Janet Varney]

2.

[Aaron Keefe]

2.

[Paul Sabourin]

17.

[JPC]

I heard 17. Number. Whatever. This is walk. This one is good. Walk on the living. They don't even mumble. Walk on the dead. They grumble and grumble.

[Janet Varney]

Leaves.

[JPC]

That's correct. Why is it so macabre?

[Paul Sabourin]

But also bees walk on the leaves.

[JPC]

It is leaves. It is leaves. Great job, qbc. Great job.

[Janet Varney]

Leave bees. Lebees, sleepies, Levies.

[Adel]

That's nothing.

[Paul Sabourin]

Find the least witch like one. But read it as the witch.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yes.

[JPC]

Heard Jeff when crossing in desert. Why Is it that though you don't get hungry, you might get fat?

[Aaron Keefe]

Janet, I'm in heaven. You're old man Puzzles from now on. I'm so sorry. We're trapping her gpc. Get the net. Get the net. You're using to catch Mothman. We're catching Janet. She's staying forever.

[Janet Varney]

I need this because it's a dessert.

[JPC]

Wrong. But I have to say really good guess. I have to say impressive guess.

[Adel]

Okay, why am I so.

[Janet Varney]

You're getting fat? Cause you're crossing the desert, but you don't get hungry? Is this like a sand dune blowing across the desert and it's like becoming a bigger dune?

[JPC]

You're onto something, young man.

[Janet Varney]

No, thank you, Mrs. Witch. I'm actually. I'm a boy and I don't. No, thank you to that old witch Puzzles.

[JPC]

The answer has almost been laid out right before you. And what you just said. Ah.

[Adel]

Is this like you get fat, but it's like P H A T. Like, pretty hot and thirsty.

[Paul Sabourin]

Like the pharaoh. Oh, wait, the pharaoh.

[Janet Varney]

Is this a harrow?

[JPC]

It's a blueberry fly.

[Adel]

Ooh.

[JPC]

Young man, you were right there and you don't even know.

[Paul Sabourin]

Could you. Could you read the riddle again?

[Janet Varney]

But make way more.

[Paul Sabourin]

I don't think. I don't think I understood the rit.

[Janet Varney]

Is this. Is this like. Is this a sandwich?

[Aaron Keefe]

Could you read it again? But witch here.

[JPC]

That's correct. You. Because of the sand witches. There, you see, you asked for something that wasn't about a witch, but I had the page turn to something that.

[Janet Varney]

Was, so I had to do it.

[JPC]

Stop.

[Adel]

Janet. So sorry to give you a dead stop. So sorry. Is the witch's sort of celebratory noise. Nee. Nee. Was that what you did? Just real quick. I just want to call attention. Casey, can we clip that and then play 100 times in a row right here? What was it Janet? Was it Nene?

[Aaron Keefe]

Nene sucks. Yeah. Janet. Was it Nene?

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah.

[Adel]

Ok. That's the greatest fucking thing I've ever heard in my life. And my ringtone is now Nene. And we will have. Folks, lookintepublic.com, we will have Nene Merch. By this point, I have to assume.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, yeah, it will be like a bewitched. Kind of like 1960s witch Janet on a broom. And it will say Nene on. And she'll be zooming up into the.

[JPC]

I look like Elizabeth Montgomery, for better or for worse.

[Janet Varney]

Okay, if people add that last part. That last part really sucks for someone to add. You look like Elizabeth Montgomery for better or for worse.

[JPC]

To which I say Jesus Nene.

[Adel]

Well, don't just say Nene, but also give us some plugs. Janet Varney, Queen Nene herself.

[Paul Sabourin]

Janine Varney. Janine Varney, Jenny Varney.

[Adel]

Janini Varnini. What do you have that you would like to plug? Can I talk to you over here?

[Janet Varney]

Yeah, I think so.

[Adel]

Behind you. Lock store.

[JPC]

Oh my. Well, you can check out the depending on whether there's fairly new podcast that I do with John Hodgman called E Pluribus motto in which we explore the very various mottos and state symbols of many of these United States that's available anywhere you get podcasts courtesy of the Maximum Fun Network.

[Adel]

Outstanding. Thank you also so much for being our old witch puzzles today. That was a tremendous job. We will have you back and we expect much more Bee pun riddles.

[Aaron Keefe]

Great.

[JPC]

Yeah, on it.

[Janet Varney]

We can do about 30 more than we might get.

[JPC]

Cancel Sketchfest.

[Janet Varney]

Get to two riddles.

[Adel]

Cancels everything. Cancels Netflix, I think is what you said.

[JPC]

I said cancel Sketchfest.

[Adel]

But.

[JPC]

But yeah, just let me have this, Adel. Let me have this. Let me live in the dream of. There's no Sketch fest to work on for the next couple of months.

[Adel]

Can you also share your Sketch Fest password with me? I just have one. Watch some. Paul Saboran, thank you so much for being our guest today, y'all. What do you have to plug or promote?

[Paul Sabourin]

Well, I'm part of music comedy duo Paul and Storm. You can find our music the places you usually find music which is on the window, hard to access, wafting across the moor.

[Janet Varney]

I very rarely find music there. It's mostly just like voices telling me to kill and I'm not gonna kill.

[Paul Sabourin]

They keep trying, but they're like kind of sing song it.

[Janet Varney]

Yeah, of course.

[JPC]

That's their the Shining parody song. You should listen to it. It's really good.

[Paul Sabourin]

And as has been mentioned, I help run Joco Cruz, which again, everybody here is going to be on this year. It sails in March of 2025. It's basically this for a whole week.

[JPC]

But you should still come.

[Paul Sabourin]

There's bees. You should still come. Yeah, that's just one part of the ship. It's a great time. Some people say it's the best week of their entire lives.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yes. It's really one of the best weeks of my life and I am thrilled to be going back.

[Janet Varney]

Thank you.

[Paul Sabourin]

Aaron, you were the hit of the cruise.

[Aaron Keefe]

Everyone was saying everywhere everyone was saying.

[Paul Sabourin]

You were the talk of the town See, I asked. But you can go to joecocruise.com to find out more information and see the entire line up and then book it if you want to.

[Adel]

Oh, yeah, I would like to plug or promote with Janet's permission. Janet, everyone who comes on Joko in 2025 when we're all on it, is it okay if they alone have permission to call you Janini Varnini?

[JPC]

Absolutely. And they can also call me that at any number of shows at Sketchfest, including both of yours.

[Adel]

Hell yeah.

[JPC]

Says two people she's staring at on a computer right now.

[Adel]

Aaron Keefe. What do you have to plug or promote?

[Aaron Keefe]

Just if you have the means to go on the Joco cruise. I cannot recommend it enough. I think it will become a fixture of your life. If you go. You will.

[Paul Sabourin]

Certainly is one of mine.

[Aaron Keefe]

Addle anything to plug.

[Adel]

I would like to plug or promote with Janet's permission that anyone who buys a ticket to Jocro is able to call her Janny Nevina. Okay.

[Aaron Keefe]

I remember Joe Crow.

[JPC]

Crow crew.

[Janet Varney]

I will be hosting another year of the Joe Crow cruise. Bad news. This year we didn't get a cruise ship. We did get a crow. So we will have the crow.

[Adel]

A crow's ship, which is as the.

[Janet Varney]

We got a crow's crows ship.

[JPC]

Floating, single floating crow's nest that everyone.

[Paul Sabourin]

Joe Crow cruise is just a tiny little thing that happens only in the crow's nest. On the broader Joco cruise.

[Aaron Keefe]

It's a small. It's a cruise within a cruise.

[Paul Sabourin]

Three people get the special experience. Except they also are stuck up there for a week.

[JPC]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Janet Varney]

I dress up like Johnny Depp from Pirates of the Caribbean and I stand on it and then I like sail it into a dock. Haven't hit the dock yet. I feel like my crow's nest guys kind of fucking me on this because I keep getting like probably 150 yards from the dock and I'm swimming the rest of the way. Johnny Depp never had to swim.

[Aaron Keefe]

Huh?

[Janet Varney]

I wonder what the difference is. Anyway, I'm getting pissed off.

[Adel]

Let's see the episode JBC using the plugger. Promote. Okay.

[Janet Varney]

Starring Aaron Keith and John Patrick Cohen. Casey Toby did the editing.

[JPC]

Mr.

[Janet Varney]

Logo created by Emily Cardamus and Emily Naporis.

[Paul Sabourin]

1, 2, 3, 4.

[Aaron Keefe]

Hey, ritual. Ritual.

[Janet Varney]

Hey there, kissings and clones. If you like that, you are going to love this week's Patreon. We bring you to the front lines of the JPC wars. You can listen to that. Plus our entire back [e-mail]. hey, Riddlertle. By joining the clue crew for $5 a month or start your seven day free trial or the review crew for $8 a month. Plus you get those ad free episodes. See you there.

[JPC]

That was a headgum pod.