#330: Drone. Bird. Crab

Summary

Podcast Title: Hey Riddle Riddle
Episode: #330: Drone. Bird. Crab
Release Date: November 13, 2024
Host/Authors: Adal Rifai, Erin Keif, and John Patrick Coan (JPC)
Platform: Headgum

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Overview

In episode #330 titled "Drone. Bird. Crab," the Hey Riddle Riddle team delves into a blend of humorous hypotheticals, word-based puzzles known as "thrimes," and improvisational scenes that keep listeners both entertained and engaged. The trio showcases their improvisational prowess while tackling thought-provoking and whimsical scenarios, all infused with their signature comedic flair.

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1. The Cookie Conundrum

Timestamp: [00:52] - [09:44]

The episode kicks off with a departure from their usual scripted scenes to address a pressing and rather unconventional hypothetical question posed by one of the hosts, Aaron. The central scenario revolves around the idea of falling in love with someone who, whenever stressed, turns into a cookie.

• Scenario Breakdown:

  • Premise: "You meet the love of your life. Everything is perfect. But every time they get stressed out, they turn into a cookie."
  • Discussion Points:
    • Deal-Breaker Potential: The hosts debate whether the transformation would be acceptable in a long-term relationship.
    • Ethical Dilemmas: Concerns arise about the implications of eating the cookie-version of a loved one, leading to humorous yet morbid considerations.
    • Stress Management: They explore whether turning into a cookie would alleviate stress effectively or merely introduce new problems.

• Notable Quotes:

  • Aaron [03:05]: "What if I already did? I'm asking if it's okay if I fall in love with Cookie Monster after a lot of really great sex."
  • JPC [06:18]: "I don't think if I know a person who is feeling a lot of stress, I don't think it's ever helpful for the stress that you feel to be turned into a cookie for 40 minutes."

The discussion concludes with mixed feelings about the viability of such a relationship dynamic, balancing the absurdity of the scenario with genuine questions about love and transformation under stress.

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2. Thrimes – Rhyme-Based Puzzles

Timestamp: [10:51] - [74:32]

Transitioning from hypotheticals, the hosts introduce "Thrimes," a unique segment consisting of three riddles with answers that rhyme. This segment tests their quick thinking and linguistic agility.

• How Thrimes Work:

  • Structure: Three clues are given, each corresponding to a rhyming answer.
  • Example Provided:
    • Clues: "To baffle," "to rub with the nose," "to restrain from biting."
    • Answers: "Puzzle," "Nuzzle," "Muzzle."

• Gameplay Highlights:

  • Engagement: The hosts actively participate, attempting to solve each thrime in real-time, leading to bursts of creativity and laughter.
  • Improvisational Scenes: Occasionally, segments of the thrimes lead into improvised scenes, such as JPC portraying Santa at a speed dating event, adding an extra layer of humor.

• Notable Quotes:

  • Adol [11:49]: "Here's how these are gonna go. I'll read the three questions, or the three clues I guess they are. And then don't try and answer each one in real time."
  • Sandy [49:14]: "Spoonerisms are when you have two phrases and you swap the first sounds of each... So here's what I have for you."

Throughout the segment, the hosts demonstrate their wit and camaraderie, making Thrimes a standout portion of the episode that balances challenge with entertainment.

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3. Improvisational Comedy Scenes

Timestamp: [15:31] - [26:15]

Interwoven within the Thrimes are spontaneous improvisational scenes that showcase the hosts' acting talents and quick humor.

• Notable Scenes:

  • Santa at Speed Dating [15:31]: JPC improvises as Santa Claus attending a speed dating event, leading to awkward and hilarious interactions with the other hosts portraying various characters.
    • Key Moments:
      • Confusion Over Names: Misunderstandings about names like Elliot and Ellie add to the comedic tension.
      • Nicknames and Reactions: Adol's portrayal of an inspector looking for a character named Veronica introduces tension and humor.
      • Final Twist: The scene concludes with chaos as characters confront each other, escalating the absurdity.

• Notable Quotes:

  • JPC as Santa [17:00]: "I'm Santa. Nice to meet you."
  • Aaron [17:17]: "What are you writing? Also, are you drinking milk? It's a White Russian."

These scenes not only entertain but also deepen the dynamic between the hosts, highlighting their ability to seamlessly switch roles and maintain comedic flow.

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4. Advanced Thrimes and Puzzle Solving

Timestamp: [26:15] - [66:59]

As Thrimes progress, the complexity of the puzzles increases, challenging the hosts' depth of knowledge and ability to think on their feet.

• Examples of Challenging Thrimes:

  • Spoonerisms: The hosts tackle clever wordplay involving the swapping of sounds between phrases to reveal famous movie titles.

    • Example:
      • Clue: "A type of necklace, a fireplace tool, a playing card choker."
      • Answer: "Poker Joker."

  • Historical and Pop Culture References: Puzzles often reference specific years and events, requiring a blend of historical knowledge and cultural awareness.

    • Example:
      • Clue: "2015 movie about an arduous hike in a downpour."
      • Answer: "Train Wreck" (derived from "Rain Trek").

• Notable Quotes:

  • Sandy [49:14]: "So what I've done here is I've taken names of popular movies, spoonerized them, and then I'm going."
  • JPC [54:43]: "All right, here's another one. Dirt and rubbish scattered untidily all over the floor. 1987, the movie I only saw for the first time recently."

The segment is a testament to the hosts' intellectual chemistry, blending quick thinking with playful banter to solve and create intricate puzzles.

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5. Personal Interactions and Behind-the-Scenes Humor

Timestamp: [43:11] - [74:32]

Throughout the episode, personal anecdotes and lighthearted jokes provide insight into the hosts' personalities and strengthen the listener's connection to them.

• Key Interactions:

  • Birthday Shout-Outs: A playful exchange about birthday greetings adds a personal touch.

    • Aaron [45:17]: "I would like to plug the Havert of Riddle Patreon."

  • Humorous Banter: Frequent teasing and jokes about mundane topics, such as mattress preferences and subscription services, keep the atmosphere relaxed and engaging.

    • JPC [37:23]: "Slaps the money out of Adol's mouth as he tries to eat it."

  • Guest Appearances: Sandy's impromptu storytelling about eating puzzle pieces made of chocolate adds an unexpected twist to the episode.

    • Sandy [48:50]: "Sure, I've had puzzles made out of chocolate... So I had some and it was great, it was terrible. But it was edible."

• Notable Quotes:

  • Aaron [33:31]: "But also, Jimmy, you keep this shit to yourself."
  • Sandy [48:50]: "Sure, I've had puzzles made out of chocolate."

These moments of candid conversation and spontaneous humor highlight the natural rapport among the hosts, making the episode relatable and entertaining.

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Conclusion

Episode #330 of Hey Riddle Riddle offers a delightful mix of imaginative hypotheticals, intellectually stimulating puzzles, and uproarious improvisational scenes. The hosts' seamless transition between structured challenges and spontaneous comedy ensures that listeners are both mentally engaged and thoroughly entertained. Whether you're a fan of riddles or simply enjoy witty banter and creative storytelling, "Drone. Bird. Crab" is a testament to the trio's versatility and comedic genius.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Aaron [03:05]: "What if I already did? I'm asking if it's okay if I fall in love with Cookie Monster after a lot of really great sex."

• JPC [06:18]: "I don't think if I know a person who is feeling a lot of stress, I don't think it's ever helpful for the stress that you feel to be turned into a cookie for 40 minutes."

• Adol [11:49]: "Here's how these are gonna go. I'll read the three questions, or the three clues I guess they are. And then don't try and answer each one in real time."

• Sandy [49:14]: "Spoonerisms are when you have two phrases and you swap the first sounds of each... So here's what I have for you."

• JPC as Santa [17:00]: "I'm Santa. Nice to meet you."

• Aaron [45:17]: "I would like to plug the Havert of Riddle Patreon."

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Note: This summary intentionally omits sections related to advertisements, sponsorships, and non-content moments as per the request to focus solely on the episode's main content.

Transcript

[Aaron]

This is a Headgum podcast.

[JPC]

With the five dollar meal deal at McDonald's. You pick a McDouble, or a McChicken, then get a small fry, a small drink, and a four piece McNuggets. That's a lot of McDonald's for not a lot of money. Price and participation may vary. For a limited time only, the doctor was the mother. He stood on a block of ice. Both of them were goldfish. It was the cabin of an AirPL.

[Adol]

Hey, it's hey. River Riddle. Adult Aaron JPZ, et cetera. Sorry. Usually we do some sort of scene or some sort of fun thing up top. But today we have a pressing issue, which is pressing. Aaron, you mentioned that you had a question about a cookie. So I want to make sure we clear enough of a landing strip for you to be able to land that plane.

[Aaron]

Okay. This is so jarring to have an episode start like this. We were going to do a really kooky, crazy scene at the beginning.

[JPC]

Aaron, don't say cookie. You're just going to think that you're.

[Aaron]

Talking about cookie crazy scene. Well, I actually can't even take credit for this question. Let me lay it out for you. And unfortunately, I'm mentioning another podcast host in this that is more interesting to listen to than us. I was at a Halloween party with Beth May, who is one of the brightest stars in the podcasting world. Very talented person.

[JPC]

I say she is a host.

[Adol]

What?

[Aaron]

Why are we splitting hairs? It is Beth May. It is Beth May. It is Beth May.

[JPC]

Yeah. If someone was like, Beth May, she is a host. I would be like, what does Beth May host?

[Aaron]

Okay, well, I think they have like.

[JPC]

A spin off podcast where they talk about like Christian movies. Like maybe she hosts that.

[Adol]

Huh? Emailing Beth May right now to see if she will guest host. Hey, Riddle. Riddle. And she said yes. She didn't respond. I didn't send that email. I don't want to make fake promises.

[JPC]

Anyways, backpedaling off of that.

[Aaron]

First of all, she was dressed up as Madame Web at this party and she's walking around with a Pepsi can already dream scenario. I feel like I want an essay contest. Okay.

[JPC]

Madame Web at the end of the movie, like what?

[Adol]

Smug. Smug Madam Web.

[JPC]

Because like Madame Web doesn't have a costume, right?

[Aaron]

She has that red leather coat and.

[Adol]

At the end of the movie she suddenly has glasses.

[Aaron]

Yeah, yeah.

[JPC]

Okay.

[Aaron]

So she posed the question like, this is a hypothetical of like, what would you do hypothetically? So I'm not taking credit for this question, but I'm really Into it, you meet the love of your life. Checks every box. Everything is perfect. Right?

[Adol]

Oh, I see where this is going. But you want to know if it's okay to fuck Cookie Monster.

[Aaron]

Okay. What if I already did? I'm asking if it's okay if I fall in love with Cookie Monster after a lot of really great sex. That's my question. Is it okay? It's the kind of sex that you're gonna fall in love with them. Okay. I don't know what else to say. He says, me, you want cookie? Actually, can you beep everything I'm about to say? But I do want to make a joke about you. How he is eating. And this is all we believe he's eating.

[Adol]

All mouth, no throat.

[Aaron]

Yeah. That's what it's like to have sex with Cookie Monster. Thank you so much for believing all of that. What was I saying? Now I'm thinking about having sex.

[Adol]

I'm so sorry. You said a hypothetical question that Bethany posed.

[JPC]

Can we get away from this segment before one of us says, me want nookie?

[Aaron]

No, it's too late.

[JPC]

I think I got it.

[Aaron]

You ran right into it.

[JPC]

I think I got it. Under the wire.

[Aaron]

The question is, meet the love of your life. Everything is perfect. But every time they get stressed out, they turn into a cookie. Anytime they are under any sort of stress, they turn into a cookie. Now, this is an interesting question because people, depending on what type of person they date, had very different answers. I think that this is an interesting question. What do you guys think? Would that be a deal breaker for you if they turned into a cookie every time they got stressed out?

[Adol]

I thought the question was going to continue in terms of, like, would you, like, snack on them? Or I thought it was going to go in a direction of, like, kill.

[Aaron]

Your partner at all.

[Sandy]

No.

[JPC]

Well, wait, is it going to kill them to take one bite? Like, if I take one bite, will they come back with, like, a bite.

[Aaron]

Without, like, a shoulder? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Adol]

But the problem with a cookie is you don't know where it ends and begins. Right. Like, if you take a bite of any edge, that could be the top of their head or the bottom of their feet, right?

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Aaron]

But I feel like you guys are really focusing on the eating them part. And I feel like they're a cookie.

[Adol]

They're a cookie, Aaron. So maybe if you nibble all the way around the edge, would that make them, like, an inch shorter? That's a really. Aaron, this is actually a really great question.

[JPC]

What if a crumb falls off Just. Cause like, sometimes cookies, like, crumb. Like, what if just like a crumb falls off?

[Aaron]

That's not. That's fine. That's fine.

[JPC]

That's fine. That's like dandruff.

[Aaron]

Yeah, it's like dandruff. Okay, here's.

[JPC]

Dandruff isn't fine, by the way. It's actually a really serious issue that affects millions of men. Just like people in your life that you might know.

[Aaron]

Like you.

[JPC]

No.

[Adol]

@ JPC. I do appreciate that you said, I think what you're going for is that when Cookie Monster orgasms, he says, I think I'm gonna crumb. Which I think is appropriate.

[JPC]

I'm crumming.

[Aaron]

And we're. And we're beeping all of this, I assume. Casey, please. Oh, Casey is dead. No. Okay, wait, hold on.

[JPC]

Cookie Monster always taps me on the should if he's gonna crumb into my mouth.

[Aaron]

Somebody made a good point of like, what if you're about to give birth and your partner's driving you to the hospital and then you look over and there's a cookie in the driver's seat.

[Adol]

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[JPC]

Aaron, can I ask a question?

[Aaron]

Yeah.

[JPC]

How long do they stay a cookie?

[Aaron]

Until they calm down.

[JPC]

But cookies can't be stressed.

[Aaron]

No. That's why. But like, okay, let's say they're a cookie for 40 minutes every time they get stressed.

[JPC]

40 minutes.

[Aaron]

Yeah.

[JPC]

Well, here's the problem, though. I don't think if I know a person who is feeling a lot of stress, I don't think it's ever helpful for the stress that you feel to be turned into a cookie for 40 minutes. So do they come out of that experience feeling absolutely no stress, or do they come out of that experience just as stress, but now they've wasted 40 minutes being a cookie?

[Aaron]

No, the stress is gone from their.

[JPC]

Body probably because like, let's say your partner's like, I got a really important meeting in 30 minutes. I'm really stressed for it. Now they're 10 minutes late for the meeting and they're like, easy, breezy.

[Aaron]

It really puts things into perspective to be a cookie, doesn't it?

[Adol]

So here's a follow up question.

[Aaron]

Yep.

[Adol]

So say I take my partner who turns into a cookie when stressed. I take them to see what was the Safdie Brothers movie with Adam Sandler with the Jules Jams. Thank you, Anka Chams. I take my partner to go see uncut gems within 10 minutes of that movie. Stress turns into a cookie after 40 minutes, turns back into my partner. Do they immediately see 50 minutes into uncut gems and turn into a cookie again? Like, is this gonna. You know what I'm saying? Like, is there any amount of reset? Okay, it's rolling. Okay.

[Aaron]

And, you know, some people were like, that actually sounds like a peaceful thing for my partner. But here, this is. This was my first question. It does.

[JPC]

What kind of cookie?

[Aaron]

What kind of cookie? No, my first question is, can the cookie hear me? Because if we're. I'm in, like, an argument with my.

[JPC]

Partner and they've hurt myself for 40 minutes being like, you're going to listen to everything I got to say. Cookie.

[Aaron]

No, but that if sometimes, if someone's hurt someone's feelings, that is a moment of stress. And if you turn into a cookie and you never have to hear about how I feel just because you get stressed out by it, then that's not good in the long term.

[Adol]

No.

[JPC]

And I think most situations, it's going to make a really healthy, productive relationship. If a person turns into a cookie every 40 minutes, I would do it. I would meet this love of my life. They'd turn into a cookie the first time they felt stressed, and I'd eat the cookie, and that would be that I'm not going to jail for eating a cookie. I just got a free cookie. Basically.

[Adol]

Oh, if you eat the cookie after 40 minutes in your stomach, does it turn back into, like, body parts?

[Aaron]

Yeah.

[Adol]

Okay.

[Aaron]

So they catch you, you're going to jail.

[Adol]

I tend to. When I'm stressed, I tend to stress, eat. So I think I would say no because this would be a bad pairing, because I assume we'd be in a lot of situations if we're in this together for the long haul. I would assume a lot of situations where they're stressed. I would also be stressed. It would be a joint stressed effort, and I stress eat. So again, I think that's just a bad combo.

[Aaron]

Okay. Okay.

[JPC]

What would happen if I took the cookie and fed it to a bunch of birds? Would the birds all fly away and then, like, 40 minutes later just burst with body parts?

[Aaron]

This is graphic. But yes, that is exactly what would happen.

[JPC]

That's what I would do. I want to change my answer.

[Aaron]

It's interesting about this question is when you're talking about it happening to my partner, my partner turning to a cookie every. Anytime they get stressed, then I'm like, that feels a little hard. That would be a hard life. But if you're giving me the option that I turn into a cookie for 40 minutes every time I get Stressed. Sign me up yesterday. I'm a cookie. Let's fucking go.

[JPC]

Do you think you could probably get disability, right?

[Adol]

That's gotta be a disability for turning into a cookie. Honda pee.

[JPC]

I mean, it's not. It would have to be, like, medically, like, tested or whatever. Like, they'd have to be, like, recognized.

[Aaron]

No, I don't want doctors to know about this. I don't want them poking and prodding at me and eating me and stuff. Leaving me for Santa.

[JPC]

Taking chips off of your chocolate. Yeah, but honestly, Aaron, if all you want is crumbs, it sounds like there's a loophole where they turn into a cookie. You just shake that song, bitch. Get as many crumbs as you can on a piece of paper. Eat those, put those in your mouth. Sure they turn into dandruff in your stomach 40 minutes later, but who cares? At that point, you already had all those delicious cookie crumbs and your partner is none the wiser. And yes, we're recording this before the election. Shut the fuck up. We're.

[Aaron]

Everyone's doing what they can to get through this. Week before the election, I saw a TikTok that made me laugh. So hard of a guy being like, it has been Halloween in the week before an election for three years. I am so tired of wearing a costume and feeling the existential dread of, like, pre election time. And I'm like, oh, my God, pre.

[Adol]

Election can still get you pregnant. Let's get into some riddles here. I have something new. These are called thrimes. Thrimes are going to be three questions with three answers. And those three answers will all rhyme with one another.

[JPC]

Do you guys remember when Thrymes was married to three long rusk?

[Adol]

I remember Busta Thrimes. So here's how these are gonna go.

[JPC]

Okay, I'm ready. I'm ready.

[Adol]

No, no, no, hold on.

[JPC]

I got Aaron and.

[Sandy]

Be with you, Z.

[Aaron]

That's one of your. Some of your finest work. I'm not even kidding. Oh, fuck. Fuck.

[Adol]

All right, so here's how these will go. I'll read the three questions, or the three clues I guess they are. And then don't try and answer each one in real time. Wait till I read all three. And you're going to give me all three answers? Because I think that's more fun than solving one at a time.

[JPC]

Sure.

[Adol]

Of course, if you're stuck, obviously solve one at a time and go from there. And once you get one, you'll be able to help.

[JPC]

But this is kind of like Only connect. And each one of these is going to lead to something that rhymes three times, right?

[Adol]

Yes, but there's no overall. Overall there's not like a meta puzzle or anything. It's just three answers that rhyme. Okay, so for example, to baffle, to rub with the nose and to restrain from biting. To baffle.

[Aaron]

Cookie Monster. Cookie Monster during sex. Cookie Monster doing really good. Sex Cookie Monster really doing Aaron.

[Adol]

Like when I rub with the nose.

[Aaron]

Where I start to have feelings for him.

[Adol]

To baffle, to rub with the nose, to restrain from biting would be puzzle, nuzzle, muzzle.

[JPC]

Puzzle, nuzzle, muzzle. Okay, gotcha.

[Aaron]

Puzzle, nuzzle, muzzle. Of course.

[Adol]

Puzzle means to baffle, nuzzle means to rub with the nose, and muzzle is to restrain from biting.

[JPC]

Okay, got it. Yeah, got it.

[Adol]

Ok.

[JPC]

Wow. I see you just ripping through these. Are some of these bad? Are some of these filthy?

[Adol]

Some of these are a little nasty. To pawn, to punch, to converse.

[Aaron]

Talk.

[JPC]

Clock.

[Adol]

To pawn, to punch, to converse.

[Aaron]

So it would be clock is second. Talk. To pawn. Hawk.

[JPC]

Hawk. Clock, Talk.

[Aaron]

Clock, talk.

[Adol]

You have two of them, Correct?

[Aaron]

Wait. Oh, okay, then I'll wait.

[JPC]

Hawk and no. Hawk and talk. No. Hawk. Clock. No. Which ones do we have?

[Sandy]

Right.

[Aaron]

Which ones are right?

[Adol]

Hawk, Tua and talk. Tua. So two punch is the middle one.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Adol]

I think you're saying clock like sock to sock.

[JPC]

Sock, yes.

[Aaron]

Okay, I'd like to pose a question.

[JPC]

Sock and clock also rhyme. So clock works.

[Adol]

But to punch. If I were to say two punch, I don't think clock would be the obvious. Like that's not a go to. Right.

[JPC]

If you clock someone or you sock someone. I mean, you're still saying.

[Adol]

I see what you're saying.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Adol]

I thought you were saying to clock in, like to punch your time card. But you're saying to clock someone. Yeah, you're totally right.

[JPC]

That is where that comes from.

[Adol]

That is a expression.

[JPC]

Punch in the time card. What the fuck?

[Aaron]

I'd like to pose a question.

[JPC]

Yes.

[Aaron]

What were the three words again? Talk. Hawk.

[Adol]

Hawk. H O C K. Like to hawk. Yeah. Just for listeners. So sock and talk.

[Aaron]

All right, which one of us is Hawk? Which one of us is Sock and which one of us is talk?

[Adol]

I think JPC is hawk.

[JPC]

Okay. ADL strikes me as sock. He's cozy.

[Aaron]

Yeah, Cozy And I'm talk.

[Adol]

Yeah.

[Aaron]

Oh, okay. Interesting.

[JPC]

Hockity, sockety, Talk the nose, rub the clock.

[Adol]

Here we go. Here's the next one. And this is one of the harder ones. So maybe let's do it now. We got this one. Mix and Chris. Chris spelled K R, I, S, S. One mix. And Chris is a. Chris.

[JPC]

A knife.

[Adol]

Possibly. But in this situation, it is not K, R, I, S, S. Okay, so let me. Let me help you out a little bit. If you have one of something, you would say you have a single. Yes. Now mix and Chris.

[Aaron]

Mingle.

[Adol]

Yes.

[Aaron]

Single mingle. Shingle.

[JPC]

Kringle.

[Adol]

Single mingle. Kringle. I do want to see a scene.

[Aaron]

Okay.

[JPC]

Okay. I think I already know what this is going to be. I don't even think I need to hear him say what the scene is. I think I know what the scene is. Do you ever feel like that, Aaron? Like what it's gonna be?

[Aaron]

Mm.

[Adol]

The only question is, do we want to see Aaron as Santa or JPC Is Uncle Santa?

[JPC]

Well, neither. Yeah.

[Aaron]

Oh, sorry. Is that not an option?

[Adol]

We'll see. JPC is regular Santa. And you are at a speed dating event. Aaron, you and I will play all the people he speed dates for as long as we see this scene. And Aaron will have you be the first date.

[Aaron]

Hi, I'm Elliot. So nice to meet you.

[JPC]

Oh, nice to meet you, Elliot. I am Santa. Oh, nice to meet you, Elliot.

[Aaron]

I'm Ellie. And did you. What did you call me?

[JPC]

I called you Elliot. I thought you said Elliot.

[Aaron]

I said Ellie.

[JPC]

Oh. Women can be Elliot's now.

[Aaron]

Ding.

[JPC]

Ho, ho, ho. I'm Santa. Nice to meet you.

[Adol]

Hi, I'm Veronica. Veronica. I like to write. I like to go to the theater. What do you. What are you.

[JPC]

Veronica. Hold. Give me one second. Okay. Naughty. We're in play. What is it? What?

[Adol]

Excuse me.

[JPC]

I'm sorry.

[Adol]

What was that list you just pulled out?

[JPC]

Oh, I just. Just consulting, you know. A list. Just a list. People are allowed to have lists. Ding, ho, ho, ho. I'm Santa. Nice to meet you.

[Aaron]

Hi, I'm Heather. It's so nice to meet you.

[JPC]

First time at one of these things, I should say.

[Aaron]

Oh, yeah, same. I'm so proud of us. We're getting out there. Good friends.

[JPC]

Yes.

[Aaron]

What are you writing? Also, are you drinking milk? It's a White Russian.

[JPC]

No, it's milk. Would you like a sip? I have cookies here as well. These are for the table.

[Adol]

Has anyone seen my wife? Has anyone seen my wife?

[Aaron]

She got stressed. Wife at a singles event.

[Adol]

She said she got stressed and she was gonna leave.

[JPC]

Ah, well. Crunch, crunch, crunch. Nothing to be done about that.

[Adol]

Ding. Hi.

[Sandy]

Ho, ho, ho.

[JPC]

I'm Santa. Nice to meet you.

[Adol]

Veronica. Again, I was just curious.

[JPC]

Round two.

[Adol]

That list you had that said I was naughty does it go into further detail? Like, does it say kinks or.

[JPC]

Yeah, not on the list. Hold on. If I get on my phone and I open up the tab and I click the hyperlink on Veronica. Naughty. Oh, arson. Not really the kind of naughty that I was looking for. Ding, ho, ho, ho. I'm Santa. Nice to meet you.

[Aaron]

Hi, Heather again.

[JPC]

Sorry, there's like, three people at this fucking thing.

[Aaron]

I saw people were looping back around to you, and it made you sort of feel like a hot commodity to me. I wanted to come back over and.

[JPC]

Who are the other guys that. I'm. Santa, stranger.

[Aaron]

You look to your left and right, it's like, who, Mr. Bunny?

[JPC]

Who? Ding.

[Adol]

Hi, I'm Inspector Calhoun. Have you seen this woman? Veronica Williams? We're looking for her. She's wanted for burning down Thrift Stories.

[JPC]

Yeah, she's right there, man.

[Adol]

Oh, can I grab her? Do I have to wait for the ding or.

[JPC]

No, you have to wait for the ding, but you sure you want to wait for my ding? I'll be in the restroom in about five minutes.

[Aaron]

We're shutting down the whole event. We're shutting down the event.

[JPC]

I want my $7 back. Then. I want my 7.

[Adol]

Is that smoke?

[Aaron]

I want my $7 back.

[Adol]

I do like Santa. Screaming. People could have lists.

[JPC]

There is, like, the idea. I'm not really sure how prevalent speed dating is. Is a thing. I don't think I've ever. Do you guys know that you've ever known someone that has done a speed dating thing?

[Aaron]

I'm gonna see if there's.

[JPC]

I know that it exists in the context of a movie or something like that, but.

[Aaron]

Yeah, there's one today in Los Angeles.

[Adol]

Whoa.

[JPC]

Okay, that makes sense.

[Adol]

I saw there's a TV show called Love on the Spectrum, and I feel like there's an Australian version and a US Version. I think both versions have done speed dating. So I feel like it is a thing for sure.

[JPC]

I do feel for the people out there who are dating and engaged in it, because it does seem like an awful prospect of meeting people organically in the world just because of the world that we live in. That is so, you know, online, and that's where connections happen. It does seem very much a bummer. But, you know, if you gotta go speed dating, go for it, man. I think there's probably some people there that are interested in dating, so.

[Aaron]

You know, there's a bar that I go to sometimes. I've been there a couple times for different birthday parties that have a speed dating event that's coming up. Should I go?

[JPC]

Erin at the bar being like, happy birthday, Melissa. I guess I'm the first one here. Oh, speed dating. Oh, weird, Spediating, sped, diading, sped, yading. I'll try this.

[Aaron]

That's a curious couple of words together. I'll try it.

[JPC]

I'll try this. I don't see him.

[Aaron]

Takes off shirts, sits in bra, orders a milk.

[JPC]

Oh, so we were saying that Santa was in a short, a shirt, no shirt and a bra, of course.

[Aaron]

It's off season, baby.

[Adol]

Now Aaron, would you be willing for say a review crew in the future when we're all in LA maybe or you're in Chicago, we do a review crew where we review speed dating, but it's you speed dating. And then JPC and I are sit on either side of you for the whole process and you just say like these are my dads or these are my uncles or something.

[Aaron]

You guys, that would be so funny and so vulnerable. You would see me at my absolute worst, which is, I would love to do that.

[JPC]

Because the speed dating people would be like, obviously you're not allowed to have two men sit with you. And I'm like, oh, so you have a problem with two gay men having an adult daughter? You're disgusting. You're filth.

[Aaron]

You guys were getting kicked out so fast and then demanding our $7 back. This was a free event.

[Adol]

Wow.

[Aaron]

$7 each.

[Adol]

Disgusting. A 35 year old gay man can't have a 33 year old daughter. Disgusting.

[JPC]

Disgusting. And I'm 36 now, probably I will be at the time. Because a 35 year old man should not have a 33 year old daughter.

[Adol]

Yeah, that would be weird.

[JPC]

Yeah, that's really weird.

[Adol]

Here's your three clues.

[Aaron]

Less.

[JPC]

Aaron, can I adopt you?

[Aaron]

Yeah. Oh my God. Do you think we could.

[JPC]

God forbid anything happens to your parents. And Jimmy, if you're listening, do not say a word to them about this. God forbid.

[Aaron]

But also, Jimmy, you keep this shit to yourself.

[JPC]

Jimmy, if you are listening, if you are listening and something does happen, I will walk you down the aisle. I know that's not typically the bride's parents job, Jimmy, but I'll do it. I'll do it for you.

[Aaron]

You guys.

[JPC]

And it doesn't even have to be with Molly, right? He's dating Molly.

[Aaron]

Yes.

[JPC]

Yeah, it could be with whoever you end up with. Jimmy, the offer stands. I'll walk you down the aisle, man.

[Aaron]

That's so funny. God forbid you would be honored by that.

[JPC]

And we're, you know, we're, we're when we're adults, you know, people get up there in age. Parents do eventually.

[Aaron]

So you're saying if something happened to my parents in this assumption, I'll go through the process. You, Jimmy. So you think my parents are going to watch walk Jimmy down the aisle? As it stands right now.

[JPC]

Right now as it stands, your parents will give Jimmy to Molly.

[Aaron]

Can I tell you guys, this is something earnest, but I would say if anything were to happen to people in my family, I would have maybe one of you guys or both of you walk me down the aisle. Wow, that's a sweet thing to say. And I know this podcast is about being garbage and treating each other like garbage, but it would mean a lot to me.

[Adol]

Aaron, can we wear like a fun costume as well?

[Aaron]

Yeah. Yeah, you can wear a fun costume. Yay.

[JPC]

It would mean a lot to us for two cookie monsters to walk you down the aisle.

[Aaron]

So then you're walking me down the aisle. The Cookie Monster. Two cookie monsters walking me to a cookie monster. What am I, horny heaven?

[JPC]

Yeah, me. What tissue?

[Sandy]

Me.

[JPC]

What tissue for my daughter's wedding.

[Adol]

We know why you want the tissue, Cookie Monster. Get out of here.

[Aaron]

Get out of here, you pervert.

[Adol]

Pervert.

[JPC]

I'm gonna go nookie in the bathroom.

[Adol]

I'm gonna go crumb in that tissue.

[JPC]

I'm gonna go crumb.

[Aaron]

Gpc. Are you working on my dowry? The last time we checked, you guys were gonna write a dowry for me.

[JPC]

Yeah, I'm breeding the goats right now. So right now I've got two goats.

[Aaron]

I don't wanna know. I don't wanna know.

[JPC]

Aaron. They're going at it, but I don't think. Just so everyone's clear, I don't think that these goats are gonna be able to get pregnant by fucking them each other. I'm trying my best to help the goats along by kind of encouraging them with my hand and lightly on top of their. But nothing that I'm doing right now is getting them to that point.

[Aaron]

I wanted to see if I could get one through.

[Adol]

Oh, Aaron, I just got word you're fired from snl.

[Aaron]

Yeah, that's fine. They're pre firing me.

[Adol]

Pre firing.

[JPC]

Pre firing.

[Aaron]

Because he fired. At this point, we're just like gobbling turkeys.

[JPC]

You certainly are.

[Aaron]

You are.

[JPC]

You are.

[Aaron]

Come. Just echoes across the canyon that is this podcast.

[JPC]

Okay, Adol, more of these, please.

[Adol]

I just want to quickly say it's better, Aaron, for your parents to give. To give Jimmy to Molly than for your parents to give Molly to Jimmy. Because if Jimmy took Molly, the wedding is ruined.

[Aaron]

Yeah, that's.

[Adol]

He's on his back staring at the ceiling.

[Aaron]

Oh, my God. I really do hope they get married. I'm scared they won't. They will. They will.

[JPC]

You say you're scared they won't?

[Aaron]

Yeah. It would make me really sad if they didn't end up getting married.

[JPC]

Well, you know what? If they're not right for each other, I hope they don't get married. I hope that they only get married under ideal circumstances. Jimmy, if you're listening to this, this has to be one of the weirdest way to experience this podcast.

[Adol]

I hope to fucking God that they're on, like, a long road trip right now and they can't turn it off.

[JPC]

Jimmy keeps hitting fast forward 30 seconds, we're still talking.

[Adol]

Or he's like, should we stop and get gas? Or something like. Or do you want to put on a song? Like, I'm gonna fall asleep if we don't hear music.

[JPC]

We start talking about Aaron's parents dying and Jimmy marrying Molly. They're on a long road trip. He hits 30 seconds four times. He just hears Aaron go, come.

[Aaron]

They're clawing at the car door handles being like, get us out. They want to roll out of a.

[Adol]

Moving car, pan out to see that your mom and dad are in the backseat of the car on the way train.

[JPC]

Perfect scenario. Okay, we have to move on.

[Adol]

Yeah. Here's your three clues.

[Aaron]

From what and to what. Guys, what is this?

[JPC]

From what to who to why.

[Aaron]

I'm sorry. Keep going. Adol. I'm sorry.

[Adol]

From Justin to Kelly, here's your three clues. Talkative, grouchy, lacking firmness. These all sound like Sesame street characters as well.

[JPC]

Mean, a limp, a simp, and a wimp.

[Aaron]

You're all three.

[Adol]

Those are great. That's not what I have here, but I do like those three. Talkative, grouchy, lacking firmness.

[JPC]

What's lacking firmness? Soft. What does soft rhyme with, though?

[Adol]

So it's not soft. It's a longer word. And I'll say longer word.

[JPC]

It means lacking firmness.

[Adol]

Yeah, let me go with. Let me go with the first clue here. So talkative. The word you're looking for is like you're hinting.

[JPC]

Verbose.

[Adol]

That's a good one. That's not what I have here.

[JPC]

Gabby.

[Adol]

That is correct.

[Aaron]

Gabby.

[JPC]

Oh, wait, Gabby.

[Adol]

And then grouchy. And lacking firmness.

[JPC]

Crabby.

[Adol]

Yep.

[JPC]

And flabby.

[Adol]

Yes. Ah.

[JPC]

Lacking firmness.

[Aaron]

I'm flabby in your book. Both crabby. Crabby. Crabby and flabby.

[JPC]

I'm looking at my waveform and there's no way that I'm not gabby.

[Aaron]

I think I'm screamy. I'm looking at my waveform and I think I'm very loud. That is such a vulnerable moment when you're recording a podcast and you look at your waveform and you're like, oh, there's been a lot of me in the last 15 minutes. Maybe pull back.

[Adol]

Here's your next thrime. The whole family. Naked and unrefined.

[JPC]

The whole family, naked and unrefined.

[Adol]

I think naked's probably the easiest. Then unrefined.

[Aaron]

Bear.

[Adol]

No, the whole family naked.

[JPC]

Naked. Like, honest.

[Adol]

And I think the whole family. I think the answer to this one is a David Cronenberg movie.

[JPC]

The Birds.

[Adol]

That's Hitchcock.

[JPC]

Okay.

[Adol]

Fuck the whole family. Naked and unrefined. Again, naked, I think is the easiest. So what are some words for naked? Someone said bear, which is a great guess, but not this one. Not that this one.

[Aaron]

Unclothed.

[JPC]

Yeah, I was going to say unclothed, but that's just an un. You know.

[Adol]

It'S not that it's a one syllable word. This is a type of beast.

[JPC]

Oh, nude. Yes, Nude. Crude for unrefined.

[Adol]

Yes. And then the whole family.

[JPC]

Slide in the family stone.

[Adol]

Yes, the answer is Slide the family stone. Nude.

[JPC]

Brood.

[Adol]

It is brood. Nude.

[JPC]

Okay. Okay. Yeah, nude was the easiest one to get. You are correct about that.

[Adol]

Mm. I do want to see a scene. Did you say with who or Woohoo?

[Aaron]

Both.

[JPC]

Erin's just looking at the cast, hoping she sees her name on it.

[Aaron]

Okay. Looking at the. Where's my name? Where's my name? Where's my name? Where's my name? Dead body number three. Dang.

[Adol]

I do want to see a scene. The two of you are at a nude beach separately. You run into each other and you happen to be like old friends from high school and you haven't seen each other in quite some time.

[JPC]

Gotcha.

[Aaron]

Morning. Morning. Oh.

[JPC]

Oh, Mike.

[Aaron]

Mr. Anderson. Scene.

[Adol]

Teacher on the beach.

[JPC]

I'm sorry.

[Aaron]

I'm sorry. I had to. I had to.

[Adol]

Hallmark movie.

[Aaron]

Teacher on the beach. Teacher on the beach.

[Adol]

A small town girl meets her teacher on a nude beach.

[JPC]

I don't think. Well, okay. I mean, obviously this is, you know, post school. Everyone's an adult. You're at a nude beach, but post.

[Adol]

School can not get you perfect.

[Aaron]

I don't know.

[JPC]

Pregnant. I don't know that there would be a more embarrassing place to see, like, I was like, if you saw your old teacher at, like, a strip club while you were there, that's embarrassing. But you're not the one naked if it's actually you. But I guess if you're the type of person who's going to go to a nude beach, which I don't think I would ever do, you've got to be the type of person who's just very comfortable being naked, right?

[Aaron]

Yeah.

[Adol]

I feel like it's more embarrassing to see a teacher if I ran into a former teacher at an Aldi's. That's more embarrassing to me for them to see what's in my shopping cart. Like, how I live.

[JPC]

Interesting.

[Adol]

Is more embarrassing than for them to see my naked body.

[JPC]

You know what? This is funny because I've heard a lot of people, like, not insignificant portion of people talk about grocery store anxiety of, like, people judging them for what's in their cart. That is so foreign to me that I've, like, I've never. I don't think. I ran into a friend at the grocery store the other day, and they were buying. They didn't even have a cart. They were, like, buying stuff to make tacos. And I was looking at my cart and my cart looked insane. But also, I have a baby who's, like, eating solid foods now, and I'm like, I don't know what the. I'm like, just going down the aisles being like, what can I fucking put in a baby's mouth? Like, I don't know. So my cart was an eclectic mix of things, but I didn't really have any anxiety about it. I was just like, oh, it's funny. Like, it looks like I'm a crazy person shopping. And how do you have grocery cart anxiety?

[Aaron]

I have a little bit of grocery cart anxiety. I don't really like being perceived in general. And that would happen a good amount in Chicago that I would run into people grocery shopping because I lived in a neighborhood with a bunch of improvisers, and I always felt a little judged by the lack of nutritious value that was in my cart. It was never produce. It was little sad, sad cans of whipped cream.

[JPC]

Here's the thing, though. I always hit produce on the way out because I like putting produce on the top of my cart. So unless you're in the checkout line, my move would be like, hey, also, do you know where, like, all the apples are? Because I'm looking at my cart and I'm like, apples is definitely on the list.

[Adol]

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

[Aaron]

Where are the Apples. Are they on this aisle? The candy aisle? I think they thought they were here.

[JPC]

Apple candy. I guess I could kind of refine this later to get the apples out. If I get a couple bags of.

[Adol]

Apple candy, I soak these in water, they become apples.

[JPC]

I don't think there's apples. Those are mini Snickers. I don't think they have apples in them. It's like, well, apple's a component parts of atoms. Everything's atoms.

[Adol]

And Adam and Eve.

[Aaron]

Everything's atoms. That's a great excuse. When you're starting to say, well, everything's atoms, you're really up a creek without a paddle. You've lost the plot of your argument.

[JPC]

That is a dead body. A dead body and a live body have the same number of atoms. I mean, there's no chemical difference.

[Aaron]

It's all atoms. Yeah, Cookie Monster puppet went missing, and it's in a bed with me. But we're all atoms at the end of the day.

[Adol]

Let's do one more here before break.

[JPC]

On a cosmic scale.

[Aaron]

I didn't fuck Cookie Monster on a cosmic scale. Wait, really quick. Before the break, can I just say, can we leave this episode up for, like, six days and then delete it? Because I really would love to work with the Henson Company one day. It truly would be the honor of a lifetime. It is my dream of dreams to work with the Muppets. It's the last thing on my comedy bucket list. So everyone just be cool about this episode, okay? Just. Everyone just shut up about it.

[JPC]

I have a pitch. Aaron, is there a property that you never want to work with?

[Aaron]

Probably. Hay riddle. Riddle.

[JPC]

Well, yeah.

[Aaron]

No, no, no. I love it here.

[JPC]

What about the Power Rangers? You know you never want to do the Power Rangers, right? No. Okay, well, fuck Adol. Do you have any properties?

[Aaron]

No. Yeah. Fuck you, Power Rangers.

[JPC]

Okay, Eric, we just get you clean saying Pink Ranger.

[Aaron]

Pink Ranger.

[JPC]

Great. Casey, just go ahead and. Whenever Erin or any of us said Cookie Monster in this episode, just go ahead and edit her saying Pink Ranger in and that. We're good, right?

[Aaron]

Pink Ranger.

[JPC]

Yeah, we'll get a couple different takes.

[Adol]

So, yeah, when the Pink Ranger orgasms, she says, I'm gonna crumb. Okay, so, yeah, this all still works. I think it all still works.

[Aaron]

It tracks.

[Adol]

Now, can we make merch with a Pink Ranger? With a word bubble that says, I'm gonna crumb? Does that appeal to me?

[Aaron]

We're all Adams, man. We're all Adams.

[Adol]

Does that appeal to anyone?

[JPC]

That appeals to me?

[Adol]

Yeah.

[Aaron]

I'd wear One, I'd wear a mug with that.

[Adol]

I'd wear a sweater. And when I take off my sweater, it's the shirt with the same design.

[JPC]

It's a 24 hour flash sale because these are getting taken down. They will not be fulfilling these. But if we can get enough orders in 24 hours, I think it'll be.

[Aaron]

Up for six minutes. It will break Teepublic. People will be ordering so many.

[Adol]

In today's news, a Pink Ranger shirt saying I'm gonna crumb has broken the Internet.

[Aaron]

Heaven.

[JPC]

All right.

[Adol]

This is heaven.

[JPC]

One more, one more, one more.

[Adol]

Before break. Here we go. A type of necklace, A fireplace tool. A playing card choker.

[Aaron]

Poker joker.

[Adol]

Wow.

[JPC]

Wow.

[Adol]

Got that so fast. Let's take a break and we'll be right back with more. Hey, Riddle, riddle.

[Aaron]

More. Hey, riddle, riddle.

[JPC]

Rubellin. 1, 2, 3, 4. Hey.

[Aaron]

Okay.

[Adol]

Aaron, don't yawn.

[Aaron]

You're going to make me yawn.

[JPC]

Aaron, don't yawn. You're going to make me yawn. Hiya.

[Aaron]

Ooh.

[Adol]

Ooh.

[JPC]

I told you you wouldn't like it the way I yawn.

[Aaron]

I'm exhausted. I think I gotta. I think I gotta go home to my Helix mattress.

[Sandy]

Oh, yeah.

[Adol]

I gotta go home to my Helix mattress. I love my Helix mattress.

[JPC]

And I am home. And I'm on my Helix mattress. It's a midnight lux mattress I've ever had in my entire life. And I'm sleeping on it right now. And this is a dream. I would say you're my puppets.

[Aaron]

Yes, Anne.

[Adol]

Yes, Ann. Yes, Anne. Gemma and I also have a midnight luxe. It's the most comfortable bed we've ever owned. It's the best sleep I've ever gotten in my life. Sometimes when our cats are being rambunctious, we'll pick one of them up, say brisket. We'll put him on the Helix. Sleep immediately. He spins around three times, lays down, goes to bed. It soothes all creatures.

[Aaron]

I've had my mattress for about three years. It still is as good as it was the first night I slept on it. And anytime I have a guest come and they stay in my room, they always go, what is this mattress? I'm obsessed.

[Adol]

Oh, a guest.

[JPC]

Aaron, didn't you say that your mattress still sleeps like it's brand spanking new? And didn't you wink when you said spanking?

[Aaron]

You were here for that.

[JPC]

This could have been a different conversation. Could have had a conversation with a completely different guy.

[Aaron]

You're in my dream. And you're a puppet. And I'm insane. And you're insane.

[JPC]

And do we all have Helix Midnight Luxe? Is that the mattress that we all have?

[Aaron]

I think so.

[JPC]

We are all the same sleeper. Wow. I love it.

[Adol]

Well, we just sleep at different times.

[JPC]

We just sleep at different times. But only one of us could be asleep at any given time. Isn't that true? And isn't that true?

[Aaron]

And isn't that true?

[Adol]

Isn't that true? And you must remember, remember, remember, remember, remember. It is November, which means there is a November offer right now, 25% off site wide. You get two free dream pillows with any mattress purchase. There's also a free bedding bundle. You get two dream pillows, sheet set and mattress protector with any luxe or elite mattress order. And you can find all that and more by going to helixsleep.com Riddle again, that's helixsleep.com Riddle.

[Aaron]

All right.

[Adol]

You're going to bed.

[Aaron]

Okay.

[Adol]

You're getting comfy.

[JPC]

Helix Sleep. Sleep like a podcaster.

[Aaron]

Oh, my gosh. CPC hit us with one more yawn.

[JPC]

Yee. Oh, boy.

[Adol]

Cowboy just came running over.

[JPC]

This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace.

[Adol]

Hey, ye. Hey, ye. I am the town square crier, and I have big news for the whole square.

[JPC]

Hey, move, man. We're driving. This is a road, dude. Can't be.

[Adol]

No. I'm a time traveler, and I'm here to tell you about Squarespace. Have you heard about Squarespace?

[JPC]

Wait, wait, wait. Roll them down. Roll them down. Squarespace.

[Adol]

Squarespace.

[Aaron]

Up or down?

[JPC]

Crack it.

[Aaron]

Okay.

[Adol]

Can you put it all the way down?

[JPC]

No, just crack it.

[Aaron]

Let me just crack it.

[JPC]

What is Squarespace?

[Adol]

Squarespace is the all in one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and succeed online. Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand, the cadence is going.

[JPC]

To drive me crazy.

[Aaron]

I love it. Rolls window down more.

[JPC]

No, I know about Squarespace. They have Squarespace payments, and it's the easiest way to manage your payments in one place. With Squarespace, onboarding is fast and simple. You get started in just a few clicks and you can start receiving payments right away. Plus, you can give your customers more ways to pay with popular payment methods like Klarna, Ach, Direct Debit in the US Apple Pay, afterpay, and Clear Pay.

[Adol]

Clear Pay? We don't even have clear drinking water where I'm from.

[Aaron]

Well, Squarespace makes it easy to sell access to content on your websites, like online courses, blogs, videos, membership. Earn recurring revenue by gating your content behind a paywall. Simply set the price and choose whether to Charge a one time fee or subscription for access.

[Adol]

Yes. And Squarespace allows you to travel forward in time to warn everyone about Mary Queen of Scots. Her reign will be a terrible rain.

[JPC]

I don't know if it does let you do that, but I do know it has SEO tools where you can get discovered fast. With integrated SEO tools, every Squarespace website is optimized to be indexed with meta descriptions, an auto generated sitemap, and more, so you show up more often to more people and global search engine results.

[Adol]

Oh, SEO Mary Queen of Scots. Ew. Overthrow.

[Aaron]

Okay, gbc, what do we think? Hit em. Drive around him. Hit em.

[JPC]

Windows down. Hit this guy with the car, please.

[Aaron]

Windows up. Hit him.

[Adol]

Please don't hit me.

[JPC]

Anyway, head to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch squarespace.com riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain.

[Adol]

Or if you're in the past, talk to the tallest horse and ask it for directions to squarespace. Kingdom. That was my horse. Catch it.

[JPC]

Quick, catch it.

[Aaron]

Hi. Come in, come in, come in, come in. Welcome to my Rocket Money party. I'm celebrating the anniversary of when I downloaded Rocket Money and it changed my life and financial health. Come in, come in, come in.

[JPC]

People are really just doing whatever for parties now, huh?

[Aaron]

Yes. And guess what? Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings.

[Adol]

Aaron, there's no food, but there's just a ton of bowls and plates with cash on them. What's cool?

[Aaron]

Yeah, because Rocket Money helped me save around $700 this year by helping me cancel my subscription. Can you believe?

[Adol]

Still an insane move to put this out at a party.

[Aaron]

I'm awesome. This party rocks. Have fun.

[JPC]

I can't eat cash. And you said come hungry, so. Well, I mean, hey, look for cash. I do love how Rocket Money lets you see all your subscriptions in one place and know exactly where your money is going. And for any you don't want anymore, Rocket Money can help you cancel them with just a few taps. That, to me, is very cool.

[Adol]

What's not cool is that most Americans think they spend about $62 per month on subscriptions, but the real number is closer to $300.

[JPC]

No. Wild. Yeah, wild.

[Adol]

No, I am subscribed to something called Yum Yum Yum online magazine.

[JPC]

That makes sense for you, though. Come on, though. Come on.

[Adol]

Oh, I'll keep that one. Sorry. I'll keep that one.

[Aaron]

Rocket Money has over 5 million users and has saved a total of 500 million in canceled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year when using all of the app's features.

[JPC]

Okay, hold on. Rocket money has 5 million users and saved 500 million canceled subscriptions. So that means it'll save every user a million dollars. No, hold on.

[Aaron]

Bad math. That's why you need Rocket Money.

[JPC]

I need Rocket Money for my math.

[Aaron]

Everything is color coded JPC and is so sad. It's satisfying to use and helps me stay so organized. I am so grateful to have it.

[JPC]

Slaps the money out of Adl's mouth as he tries to eat it. Stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to RocketMoney.com Riddle that's RocketMoney.com Riddle R I D D L E RocketMoney.com Riddle well, it finally happened.

[Adol]

JPC came down to where I work and slapped the cash out of my mouth.

[Aaron]

Hit us with that yawn sound.

[Adol]

Oh, a wild bird. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.

[JPC]

Hey, Adol. Hey, Aaron. I got a bone to pick with the two of you.

[Aaron]

Of course you do.

[Adol]

Okay, let's go ahead, you two.

[Aaron]

Sometimes you two do.

[Adol]

Aaron, he does not have a bone.

[JPC]

I do have.

[Adol]

You don't have a bone. Oh, my God, this is so embarrassing. Jpc.

[JPC]

I have a bone to pick with myself. I just haven't really been by best lately and I guess I just don't know what to do.

[Adol]

BetterHelp. Have you heard of BetterHelp?

[JPC]

JPC? BetterHelp? BetterHelp. It's online therapy designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to my schedule. Betterhelp.

[Aaron]

I know. And it's sometimes hard to remind ourselves that we're trying to make our best to make sense of everything in this crazy world. But it's not easy. Jpc. Sometimes you wake up and you don't have a bone to pick when you want to, you know?

[Adol]

Yeah.

[Aaron]

All you have to do JPC with BetterHelp is fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist. And you can switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. I've been using BetterHelp and guess what? JBC.

[JPC]

What?

[Aaron]

It helps a lot. It could help you.

[JPC]

I mean, I do like online therapy. I do like being able to, you know, email my therapist when I have, like, a conflict or be able to stay at home while I'm doing my therapy so that I don't have to drive all the way to an office and get into a big confrontation with a guy in the parking lot. Which is why I don't go to that parking lot anymore.

[Adol]

Oh, yeah, you've had 10 to 12 bone depicts in the parking lot, right? You can't go back to that parking lot.

[JPC]

Maybe that's why I have to go back to get my bone depicts back. And I know we're doing an ad for something and we keep saying it's gonna help you get your bone depicts back. And I don't want you to read it too much.

[Aaron]

You get it in the context of jpc. You understand who he is as a person, that that is connected to his mojo and his sense of self.

[JPC]

Let's let the gratitude flow with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp. H E L p dot com riddle riddle. Happy birthday to Aaron.

[Aaron]

Oh, my gosh.

[JPC]

Happy birthday to Aaron. What the fuck?

[Adol]

Hold on, you guys.

[Aaron]

This is embarrassing because it's actually someone else's birthday and they're here and now you're singing to me. Whose birthday is later this week and when you should be singing to them.

[Sandy]

Who are you singing to? Whose birthday is it?

[Adol]

Get out from behind that curtain. What are you, Polonius? Who is this guy? Hey, come here.

[Aaron]

Sandy.

[JPC]

Hello, Sandy. I'm old.

[Sandy]

I'm so old.

[Adol]

He's Oldfire makeup.

[Aaron]

Yep.

[Adol]

Hello.

[Aaron]

Hello.

[Adol]

Oh, it was a drive by fruiting.

[JPC]

Sandy's got his own home life thing going on, so we're not going to pry too deep into why he's in the Mrs. Doubtfire outfit.

[Sandy]

I'm dangerously close to crossing the Wilford Brimley line, I'll just tell you that.

[JPC]

Wow.

[Adol]

Those are the two neighbors that hate each other. Sandy. Or should I say Mrs. Sandfire?

[Sandy]

Wilfred and Brimley.

[Adol]

Yeah, the two old Muppets. Right?

[JPC]

It wasn't half bad. It was all bad.

[Adol]

Do you have. For your birthday, do you have any gifts for us?

[JPC]

Ooh, gifts.

[Sandy]

Gifts.

[Aaron]

In your world.

[Sandy]

Did you bring any puzzles for me, is the question.

[Aaron]

Ooh, fresh out.

[Sandy]

No, you didn't.

[JPC]

Turns my pockets inside out. Butterfly flies out. Butterfly not a moth. Interesting.

[Aaron]

The tides are turning. The world is healing.

[Adol]

Awesome.

[Sandy]

Yeah, I might have something for you guys since it's my birthday. I actually do, like as a hobby or as a tradition on my birthday to give out puzzles to my friends. And I consider you guys my friends. So let's see if that's sustained after this segment.

[JPC]

After what?

[Sandy]

I'm about to do to you.

[JPC]

I have a question for you. It seems like the more we learn about your life, the more puzzles are just like a huge part of your life. Have you ever tried to eat a puzzle?

[Sandy]

Sure. I've had puzzles made out of chocolate. There was a puzzle at the MIT Mystery Hunt once. Okay, so there's a puzzle about. There's a puzzle about the number two. Like number two pencils. And you solved it. And often in the MIT Mystery Hunt, most of the time you call in an answer and it's done. But sometimes you call in an answer and the response you get is, come to HQ and pick up a thing to continue this puzzle. Like you get a physical object. So for this puzzle, we went, it said, okay, come to HQ and pick up a thing. So we went there, we came back and it was. Remember the theme of the puzzle was the number two. It was a full baby diaper. It was a baby diaper that was full of what seemed like poop.

[JPC]

Can I ask you?

[Sandy]

Yeah.

[JPC]

When you say what seemed like poop, what sense did you have that it was poop? Was it a smell based.

[Sandy]

I'll tell you. I'll tell you. I ate it. That gets to the original. The original question is, I sat, we opened it up and inside was poop. And inside the poop was some more pieces of puzzle and people started solving them. And I was like, this is not poop. Clearly this is going to be something edible or else they wouldn't give it to us. So I had some and it was great. It was terrible. But it was edible. It was edible chocolate. So there's a picture out there.

[JPC]

Let's be clear. You could eat poop.

[Aaron]

Oh, the world is not healing. I spoke too soon. Sorry, guys. Sorry. I jumped the gun.

[Sandy]

I don't know if I want to co sign that.

[Adol]

Cool. So, Sandy, you ate baby shit. What else is going on? Do you have any games for us or.

[Sandy]

I was asked, I was asked by jpc, have I ever eaten a puzzle?

[Aaron]

Oh, brother.

[JPC]

No.

[Aaron]

I'm ready to do some word puzzles. I'm in the mood now after all of this was.

[JPC]

Has anyone ever eaten baby shit? Because I, of course have. I mean, I've had a baby for a year now.

[Aaron]

I'll pay everyone $20 to move on.

[JPC]

Deal? Deal.

[Sandy]

That's all I wanted, was, was a bribe. All right, here's what I have for you. The game today is Spoonerisms. You know Spoonerisms?

[Aaron]

Yes.

[Adol]

Yeah, yes. Created by Shel Silverstein, I believe.

[JPC]

Does anyone have a Favor for spoonerism.

[Adol]

Tiggle bitties.

[JPC]

Mine is shake a tit.

[Sandy]

Wow. We're continuing on theme.

[Aaron]

Oh, brother.

[JPC]

Scientological.

[Sandy]

Yeah. So spoonerisms are when you have two phrases and you swap the first sounds of each or two words in a phrase, and you swap the two sounds to make a new phrase. Or it doesn't have to be two words. It could be multiple words, as long as you swap two sounds to get a new sensible phrase. So what I've done here is I've taken names of popular movies, spoonerized them, and then I'm going. And I've written the clues for the spoonerized versions.

[JPC]

Okay.

[Sandy]

So you have to tell me what the real version is. So if I said. And I'll also tell you the year the movie came out. So if I said this movie is about a prohibition on floor coverings and the year is 1989, you'd say, well, floor coverings are called carpets or they're called rugs or they're called mats. And a prohibition is a. Another word for. Prohibition is. So a mat band would be a spoonerism for Batman, which is a movie that came out in 1989.

[Aaron]

Okay.

[Sandy]

Also 1966 and 2022.

[Aaron]

It's possible I could get one of these, maybe.

[Sandy]

I have faith in you.

[Aaron]

Thank you.

[Adol]

Ayers is going to blurt Kark tonight at some point.

[Aaron]

Yep. My favorite of the Batman Christian Bale movie, Kark tonight. See, I knew what he was talking about. I'm going to get one of these.

[JPC]

She's going to get one.

[Aaron]

I'm going to get one.

[Sandy]

All right, here's your first clue. The cozy corner inside of a ship. The cozy corner Inside a ship. 2004 is the name of the year the movie came out corner.

[JPC]

The cozy corner inside a ship.

[Adol]

So boat might be part of it.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Adol]

What's a cozy corner?

[JPC]

Cozy corner.

[Aaron]

Nook.

[JPC]

Nook. Nook who?

[Adol]

Nook. Nook.

[JPC]

Boat Nook. Boat Nook.

[Adol]

The Notebook.

[Aaron]

Notebook.

[Sandy]

That's it.

[Aaron]

10 more seconds. I would have gotten you by myself, but I didn't. And they got it. I never feel bad. I'm fine.

[Adol]

I'm actually fine.

[JPC]

I feel bad.

[Adol]

Hold on. Aaron, what does one alert over here?

[Aaron]

I have to go. I actually do have to go. I do have to take this phone call. Hello? Anyone else? Perfect.

[JPC]

Aaron just picked up a big thing of kombucha, it looks like. Or is that Pedialyte?

[Aaron]

It's part of Pedialite.

[JPC]

That's Pedialyte. Oh, shit.

[Aaron]

Hello, everybody. All right, Go Ahead.

[JPC]

I've never seen a non baby drink that, but kudos to you.

[Aaron]

You've seen me drink it a lot. I've been drinking this for years.

[JPC]

I consider you baby Aaron. Baby, Wait.

[Adol]

Didn't we have a long discussion where I said, pelite is for babies? And both of you said, no, it's not.

[Aaron]

Not anymore.

[JPC]

Not anymore.

[Aaron]

It's for Aaron. All right. Okay.

[JPC]

I want to do another misremembering.

[Adol]

Okay. All right, Sandy, let's get another one going.

[Sandy]

2015 movie about an arduous hike in a downpour.

[Adol]

Okay, so 2015, I want to say 2015. Storm, rain. Arduous hike would be like a Trek.

[Aaron]

Hike.

[JPC]

Trek.

[Adol]

Trek. Slog. Trek Captain Slog. Star Trek Hike.

[JPC]

Arduous hike. Train wreck.

[Adol]

Oh, nice one.

[JPC]

Yep.

[Sandy]

Explain it to us.

[JPC]

It is. It is. Rain Trek. Train wreck.

[Sandy]

Train wreck. Rain Trek. I like how you guys got there and then walked away from there.

[JPC]

Well, I was still there because I. But then you said 2015, and 2015 was what cinched it for me, because I was like, that was a pre Trump movie. Everyone was feeling different.

[Sandy]

LeBron was acting. Is it the other movie?

[Adol]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Because I think it's. Is it set in Cleveland maybe?

[Sandy]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

[JPC]

That was back when LeBron was in Cleveland, too. Crazy. Wow. Crazy to think back about how far. Okay.

[Adol]

Yep.

[Sandy]

Crazy. Crazy to think what happens. Okay, let's go back to 1988, this time about a movie about the pine. The Pine Tree State took off. That's the tagline. The Pines.

[Adol]

Oregon or Washington. Which one's the pine? Street.

[Sandy]

It is neither.

[Adol]

Oh, neither.

[JPC]

I will say Die Hard because that came out in 1988. That's final answer.

[Sandy]

High dard.

[JPC]

High dard.

[Adol]

Oh, Game of Thrones main.

[Aaron]

Game of Thrones took off.

[Sandy]

Took off.

[Aaron]

Run. Is it run? Took off. Ranch.

[Sandy]

Yep.

[Aaron]

Okay, hold. Nobody say it. I swear to God. I have to get one. Okay, hold on. I'm about Rain Man. It's Rain Man.

[Adol]

It's definitely, definitely, definitely Rain Man. Definitely Rain Man.

[Sandy]

I keep saying it's like the 20th time I've said I need a sound effects machine with a air horn and a bell. So just hot water burn, baby. Here we go.

[Aaron]

Ding, ding, ding, ding.

[Adol]

Hot water burn, baby.

[JPC]

It is crazy to watch Aaron, the way that she reacts to getting one right. She's just. She's off in her own world.

[Aaron]

That tuckered me out, y'all. I'm. Baby Aaron needs a nap here.

[JPC]

What do I have for you? I have.

[Aaron]

This is way too long.

[JPC]

Yeah. It's super locked. It's super locked.

[Sandy]

That was great. All right, here's another one. 1997. Rubs on the head with knuckles and then takes some nibbles.

[Adol]

Noogie bites.

[JPC]

Knuckles is on its friend.

[Sandy]

Wow. You got that right off the bat.

[Aaron]

Boogie night.

[JPC]

Wow. He got noogie bites that quickly.

[Sandy]

Noogie bites like little. Little noogies. Like little boogies you keep in the freezer and warm up in the microwave and then eat it in midnight.

[Aaron]

God, this sucks. Oh, that's me from the past. No, it's me from the past.

[Adol]

Okay.

[Sandy]

All right. Here we go.

[JPC]

Do you want to try a guess?

[Aaron]

I said boogie night.

[JPC]

Okay. Okay.

[Sandy]

This is.

[Aaron]

No music played.

[JPC]

I was gonna do something. No, I was gonna do nothing.

[Sandy]

You want another one?

[JPC]

Please.

[Sandy]

An aquatic bird just may do it. 2016.

[Adol]

Duck. Possibly. This is Tuck Everlasting.

[Aaron]

Is it duck? Is it penguin? Is it swan?

[Sandy]

No, it's not any of those.

[JPC]

It's an aquatic bird.

[Sandy]

Honestly, I looked for more definition about how to specify the bird, and it.

[Adol]

Was just I. Flamingo. Flamingo unchained. Is it Flamingo Unchained.

[Aaron]

Wait, what's the second half of this?

[Sandy]

Just may do it. An aquatic bird. Just may do it.

[Adol]

Possibly.

[Sandy]

I don't even need to do it. Just may. An aquatic bird. Just may be.

[JPC]

May. Just may.

[Adol]

A gull.

[Sandy]

Nope, not a goal. Just keep naming birds.

[Adol]

Pelican. Pelican.

[Sandy]

Nope. Nope.

[Adol]

Okay.

[Sandy]

Pelican. Peas. Pelicans.

[Adol]

Stork. Duck. Swan. Goose.

[JPC]

Goose. No.

[Adol]

Aquatic bird.

[JPC]

Looked this up to see if there's any more specifications.

[Aaron]

Is a heron an aquatic bird?

[Adol]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Great one.

[Sandy]

All right, fine. Aquatic bird's too big. It is a. It's not a point.

[Adol]

No.

[JPC]

Mallard. Fillmore.

[Sandy]

No, I.

[JPC]

Forget it. All right.

[Sandy]

This is associated with Canada.

[Adol]

Oh, a gloon. And just might do it.

[Aaron]

Is it an eagle?

[Sandy]

That's right. I didn't say may. I didn't say that. I said may. So May might.

[JPC]

Loon.

[Sandy]

Yep. The other way around.

[Adol]

Moonlight.

[JPC]

Moonlight. Moon.

[Sandy]

Lights.

[Adol]

Well, hold on, Sandy. I just opened an envelope here, and it says La La Land, which is already spoonerized.

[Sandy]

So, yeah.

[JPC]

Yeah, it is.

[Sandy]

All right, let's do another one. Superhero duo featuring a guy bit by a radioactive rodent and his sidekick. A guy really into sewing.

[JPC]

Hmm.

[Sandy]

A guy. A guy bit by a radioactive rodent and his sidekick. A guy really into sewing.

[Adol]

Ratman. Ratman and Bobbin. Ratman and Seamstress.

[Aaron]

Batman, Batman and Robin.

[Sandy]

You got it.

[JPC]

It's Batman and Robin.

[Sandy]

And Robin. I forgot the year 1997.

[Aaron]

Ratman and Robin is way better.

[JPC]

Would that be great?

[Sandy]

Way better. Ratman and Bob.

[JPC]

Ratman and Bobbin. That has legs.

[Adol]

I feel like if JBC had power, it would be like, I can bob for apples and get it in one. And then it's like I gotta wait for a hyper specific crime at a.

[Aaron]

Halloween party, JBC would bob for apples and go in and then come out with a rat in his mouth. That's his superpower.

[JPC]

It's like the. Like cherry. Like tying a cherry's stem with your tongue where it's like. The trick is I just keep it tight. Cherry stem in my mouth. Like, I always have a little rat in my mouth.

[Sandy]

I spent so many years learning, teaching myself how to tie a cherry stem in a knot with my tongue. And I could have just cheated.

[JPC]

Yeah, yeah. Honestly, cheat. And then, Sandy, the whole reason that you tie a cherry stem with your tongue is that some people are like, wow, this guy can really use his tongue. And then later, when you're having sex with that person, they're like, wow, this really did not translate that skill set. Really? Kind of. Why is this person over?

[Sandy]

Why is this person depositing the cherry stem knots into my mouth?

[Adol]

You're just having sex, but the whole time you're doing the White Lotus theme song where you're like. And they're like, I told you I was good with my tongue.

[Sandy]

New kink unlocked.

[Aaron]

You're welcome, America.

[JPC]

I slept with this guy last night, and I think I got a UTI from Cherry Stims. I don't know.

[Aaron]

Oh, girl, I've slept with them. That's rat man.

[Adol]

The next time you're going downtown, why don't you go ahead and do the White Lotus.

[JPC]

That's not even Ratman. You slept with Bobbin. You just slept with Ratman's lesser.

[Sandy]

Oh, my God. Ew.

[Aaron]

What? No.

[Adol]

Sandy. 40 more.

[Sandy]

I got 10 more.

[JPC]

Okay, okay, let's do them.

[Sandy]

Crossbreed between a chicken and the guy who shot Hamilton.

[Adol]

Burr. Burr and a hen. Hen Bur Ben Hur.

[Aaron]

Ben Her Ben. Her Ben. Her Ben. Her better Ben Hur.

[JPC]

Aaron, you got it.

[Aaron]

Jpc. I want you to hear this when I say it. I hate you.

[Adol]

Hey, Aaron. Her Ben's hurt Ben's.

[Aaron]

Yeah, Ben hers hurt Ben.

[Adol]

Her Benz hurt Ben's.

[JPC]

I hate you.

[Aaron]

I hate you.

[Sandy]

Here's another one. This is for lots of. This is for lots of movies that have this. This is more of a franchise than a movie. Specifically, it's about defending against sword Attacks. But while looking super sexy. Perry defending.

[Adol]

Perry Mason. Perry Stiles. Perry Perry. Harry Potter.

[Aaron]

Harry Potter.

[JPC]

Harry Potter hotter.

[Sandy]

Wow.

[Adol]

Perry hotter.

[Sandy]

Perry hotter.

[Adol]

And honestly, listen up, fencers. You could probably Perry hotter.

[Aaron]

Yeah, okay.

[Sandy]

That's what I thought.

[JPC]

Hottest way to parry.

[Adol]

What's the hottest way to parry, Matthew?

[JPC]

It's gotta be with your dick.

[Aaron]

Oh, my God.

[JPC]

Ow. Ow, ow. Call us a match.

[Aaron]

It didn't work.

[JPC]

It didn't work.

[Sandy]

Here's another one. The absolute greatest amount of stovetop cookware, 1997. This has the. At the beginning. The absolute greatest amount of stovetop cookware. Absolutely.

[Aaron]

Pan.

[Sandy]

Mm.

[JPC]

Okay.

[Aaron]

It's man something man.

[Adol]

Pan of La Mancha.

[Aaron]

Pan of La Mancha.

[Adol]

Man on fire.

[Aaron]

Pan on fire. Okay, I want a Man of La Mancha remake. And instead of Don Quixote, I want a pan with a hat on.

[JPC]

Pan of La Mancha.

[Sandy]

The pan with the golden. The pan with the iron mask.

[JPC]

Ooh.

[Sandy]

The Pang.

[JPC]

Pan on fire.

[Aaron]

I am my Don Quixote. The pan of the Mancha. I've lost the thread of what we're supposed to be doing.

[Adol]

So it was a huge quantity of pan.

[Sandy]

The greatest amount of stovetop cookware.

[Aaron]

Millions.

[Sandy]

So you have it. So just so if I could give you a tip for solving these. If you have one of the words, take the front off Plethora Plenty. And then in front of the other word.

[JPC]

And it starts with a P. Yeah.

[Sandy]

M. No, that's the original does. Yeah.

[Adol]

M. It would start with an M. Most man. Post.

[Aaron]

Postman.

[JPC]

With Postman.

[Sandy]

There it is.

[Adol]

Kevin.

[Aaron]

I've not heard of that movie. What is this?

[Adol]

It's Kevin Costner.

[Sandy]

He drinks Ripe.

[Adol]

This is right around. No, I think that's Waterworld. Right?

[JPC]

He doesn't bother.

[Aaron]

You ate a diaper. What is this Glass Houses situation? What are we doing?

[JPC]

Isn't Kevin Costner a pig for drinking his own peas as the guy eating shit with his fingers?

[Adol]

I think after Dances With.

[Sandy]

Well, I didn't call him a pig. I was actually kind of admired.

[Adol]

After Dances With Bulls, I think he got like, just. He was ruling the roost and Hollywood was like, whatever you want to do. So he made in quick succession, I believe, Waterworld and Postman. And they were both, like, two of the biggest flops in cinematic history.

[JPC]

And they were both post apocalyptic, right?

[Sandy]

I think so, yes. And in fact, I think you could say with all of the negative reviews that the Postman received, the most. Pan.

[Adol]

Ooh, wow.

[Sandy]

Oh, yeah. Can you do one of those air horns for me? Jpc.

[JPC]

Oh, yeah, let's do it.

[Sandy]

Don't make it a fart noise.

[Adol]

Let's try Mallard Fillmore.

[JPC]

Hold on. Let's give it one more try. So all I have is a quack. So maybe not.

[Sandy]

All right, here's. Here's another one. We'll move past it. Dirt and rubbish scattered untidily all over the floor. 1987, the movie I only saw for the first time recently. I don't know if this helps you at all.

[Aaron]

Strewn.

[Sandy]

That's it.

[Aaron]

Trash. Strewn.

[Sandy]

One of those words is right.

[Aaron]

Garbage.

[JPC]

Strewn. Dirt and rubbish.

[Aaron]

Dirt. Rubbish.

[Sandy]

It's not a word you use very often, but it is a word that means dirt and rubbish.

[JPC]

Refuse.

[Sandy]

I would say focus on the other word that you know.

[Aaron]

Strewn.

[Sandy]

Mm. And then take the half. Take the front off, put it at the end, or put it in front of the other word.

[JPC]

Strewn. So strewn. But we don't know it's with the. It could be the st also, Right?

[Sandy]

Well, it is. If the word is strewn, then you're taking off. Str.

[JPC]

Oh, okay.

[Sandy]

It's the first sound, so.

[JPC]

Oh, it's the first sound. So strewn. Str. And it's for trash. Trash.

[Adol]

Oh, this is plastroon, the Vietnam movie. Plastron.

[Sandy]

That was 19.

[Adol]

Sandy, where are you going? Sandy's putting on a jetpack.

[JPC]

So what's the year this one? Sandy?

[Sandy]

87.

[JPC]

So str. And it's a word for trash that starts with str. No, that's.

[Sandy]

No, fuck. Rub it. I'm saying by the name of the movie and you know the word Platoon. Take un and then put str after it or before, you know, in front of the other word. And see if in your head you can come up with a two word.

[Adol]

Aaron, did you not get my plastroon jokes?

[Aaron]

Adel, I'm underwater over here, pal. I'm trying to keep. Check all these clues. I'm trying to not look like a crazy idiot who's drinking Pedialyte at 6pm on a Monday night. Adel, I'm doing my best over here. I realized today that I hate jpc. That's a lot to carry.

[JPC]

I feel like I'm not gonna get this unless I can get the trash part of it. Strewn.

[Adol]

Rubbish.

[Aaron]

Str. That begins so un.

[JPC]

All we have is un. And the str is the beginning of the other word.

[Adol]

Trash. Strewn.

[JPC]

But it's a. But I feel like Boone.

[Sandy]

Str.

[JPC]

Oh, moonstruck.

[Adol]

Moonstruck.

[JPC]

Moonstruck. Fuck, it's moonstruck. God damn it.

[Sandy]

So what's the spooner is in muck.

[Adol]

So it's strewn muck.

[Sandy]

Muck. Moon struck strewn muck.

[JPC]

I'm so strewn muck.

[Sandy]

Step out of it.

[JPC]

Truly a fantastic film.

[Sandy]

And I saw for the first time in the last three years, I think, and same. Really?

[JPC]

Wait, really? Yeah, me too. Definitely the last five. I think I watched it maybe the last six because I watched it at my old apartment.

[Sandy]

Yeah. What am I overlooked Embarrassing holes in my history, including that also included Jaws. Up until like, about five or six years ago. I was like, man, this movie slaps dang. Why didn't anyone tell me about this movie? But yeah, Moonstruck 2.

[JPC]

Let's keep it going. Let's watch Jaws 2. By the way, Moonstruck 2. Absolutely whips. Sandy, we have time for one more. Can we do one more? And can it be your best one?

[Sandy]

Oh, I didn't think it was the best. Okay.

[Adol]

No, no. I got putty. I got lucky.

[Sandy]

I got lots more. I got like five or six more. Yeah, Yeah, I got a good one. Okay.

[JPC]

Okay.

[Sandy]

I'm looking at all the ones we didn't get to. I'm trying to shed a tear. Okay, here we go. The urine moved quickly.

[Adol]

Piss runnings. Cool.

[Sandy]

2006.

[Aaron]

Cool.

[Adol]

Pissings.

[Sandy]

2006. Am I crazy? You're not.

[JPC]

Is it cool pissings? Is it pee?

[Sandy]

Yeah, it's not piss.

[Adol]

Congeniality.

[JPC]

Wow. Piss. Congeniality is a different game, but it's.

[Aaron]

A really good house to get Sandy Bullock on the phone.

[Sandy]

This word is not used very frequently.

[JPC]

Micturate. Micturate.

[Aaron]

Urine.

[Sandy]

It does mean to move quickly.

[Aaron]

Pedialyte. After it's been through me.

[Sandy]

The urine part is normal. The moved quickly word is not something you use very.

[Adol]

Like what might.

[Sandy]

Anyway, this sounds like my last physical 2006 movie. Very popular.

[Aaron]

Hustle.

[Sandy]

Very.

[Adol]

Do we think it's. We think it's piss, Right?

[Sandy]

I don't know that anyone pees in the movie, so that won't help.

[Adol]

So it's gotta be miss, Right?

[JPC]

This guy would know. Sandy, did you tell us that we got piss? Right?

[Sandy]

It's not piss. Oh, pee, yes.

[Adol]

Pee Myself and Irene. Me pee my pants and Irene pee.

[JPC]

So it's E. Okay. And it's move quickly.

[Adol]

Hustle.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Adol]

Spock to us.

[JPC]

Oh, God. What is move quickly? Run. Sprint, Move.

[Sandy]

It's past. That's a help.

[Aaron]

Ran.

[Sandy]

Right. So the. So the ant. The movie probably ends in ed because it's past tense.

[Adol]

Oh, okay.

[Sandy]

So you have P 2006. And the N has P. But So you got a spoon or ice? P. So it's going to be e, is it ET?

[JPC]

No, 2000.

[Adol]

I peed. Phone home.

[Aaron]

The prestige.

[Adol]

That's what? I'm drunk.

[Sandy]

No, because that's only one word for one syllable.

[JPC]

Well, prestige, E, E, E. And ed.

[Sandy]

It's P, but instead of P, it's E. And then the P sound. So inside the word is Eep.

[JPC]

Beep.

[Sandy]

And it moved quickly.

[Adol]

P parted.

[JPC]

P parted. You got it?

[Aaron]

Yeah.

[Sandy]

No, it's not P parted, it's departed. Or P darted.

[JPC]

P. Did I just get one without.

[Aaron]

You guys giving it to me? Am I genius?

[Sandy]

And I have to give credit to one of my subscribers, Malaka, who wrote that one. So good. Thank you for that.

[JPC]

Great job.

[Sandy]

We'll have to get the other ones another time.

[JPC]

Well, Aaron, let's give you your sound effect. Okay. Slapped me hard in the face.

[Adol]

Jesus Christ. Aaron, I know. I know you already went to college, but we just got an email. I guess someone from MIT is listening to this live somehow, and they're inviting you to go to MIT on a full scholarship. To eat baby shit?

[Aaron]

Yeah. No, they just want to study. They've done this before. They want to study my brain to see how I've been able to stay alive this long.

[JPC]

Sandy, where can people study your brain?

[Sandy]

Oh, well, while it's still inside my skull, I think you could do it best at Instagram, which is Mysteryleague. On Instagram or on Thread. And I have a newsletter where you can hear and read all the output from my brain that is called Signals. It's at Signals. Fun S A G N A L S Fun F U N. Beyond that I don't know. Come and walk around Chicago singing a song maybe I'll run into you it could be a puzzle.

[JPC]

Sandy, I know that you said before we started this that you didn't want a gift, but we did get you a little something.

[Sandy]

No, I said I did want a gift.

[JPC]

It's a coffin full of sand. Get the fuck in. Full of sand. God, he never goes in easy.

[Aaron]

Never goes in easy.

[Adol]

Well, it's that time again to say a fond farewell to everyone listening. Erin Keefe, do you have anything to plug or promote?

[Aaron]

I would like to plug the Havert of Riddle Patreon. We've been giggling our asses off over there recently. Do a seven day free trial, listen to whatever episodes you want and then say, maybe recommend it to a friend if you enjoy it. Adol anything to plug from you.

[Adol]

A few quick things. One, there's a show On HBO Max. How do you say it? Just Max. Do you just say Max or do you say HBO Max? There's a show on Max called Somebody Somewhere. It's in its third season, will have come out by the time this airs and my sister Saidiya is in that third season. So please watch Somebody Somewhere, watch the first two seasons and then enjoy Obsidia in the third season.

[JPC]

Do you need context? Can I just jump into the third season?

[Adol]

I don't know yet. I haven't watched it. I don't think it's come out yet by the time this is currently, but I would assume a little context wouldn't hurt. I also want to plug and promote that. I was on two podcasts, I guess it again on one of my favorite podcasts, the Restricted section. So please check out all those episodes. And then I was also a guest on Source Not Found podcast, so check that out as well. Jpc, anything to plug, promote, or a review to read.

[JPC]

Yeah, let's read a review, shall we? If you want to get a review featured on the show, just leave us a five star review anywhere you leave reviews. Hey, this one's from Thora Birch. Thora says, hey, Riddle. Riddle is a land of magic. JPC here with some important information. Come here. This cat here, Binks, he can talk. My brother's a virgin. He lit the black flame candle. The witches are back from the dead and they're after us. We need help.

[Adol]

Wait, Thora Birch, Isn't that an actor?

[JPC]

I don't know, man, but either way that's a review.

[Adol]

Or Birch. I know that name. Thora Birch.

[JPC]

That's a pretty cool sounding name.

[Adol]

Thorough Birch. I feel like that's. It's either a type of tree or it's a actor.

[JPC]

It's definitely a type of tree. And why not both?

[Adol]

Thorough Birch.

[JPC]

And why not both? Hey, and also a little plug here. Register to vote. Now it's too late for whatever had happened for this one. But you know, it's always fun to just register for something. It's like signing up for classic.

[Aaron]

Hey, Riddle Riddle. Perfect, perfect timing, everybody.

[JPC]

Don't vote, but register. That'll fuck with their heads, man. They're gonna be like, this is gonna be a big election. Look at all these people registering. Then you just sit your ass at home. Fun.

[Adol]

And before it's too late, grab your Pink Ranger T shirt that says I think I'm gonna crumb vote.

[JPC]

Oh, sorry little.

[Aaron]

Oh, I forgot that I always forget I have the pull cord for this I always forget.

[JPC]

Logo created by Emily Cardamus and Emily Navoris. 1, 2, 3, 4. Hey there, animals and parades. If you like that, you're going to love this week's Patreon. It's a whole episode of Animal Parade. You can listen to that, plus our entire back [e-mail]. hey, Riddlertle Riddle by joining the clue crew for $5 a month or start your 7 day free trial or the review crew for $8 a month and you get those ad free episodes. See you there.

[Aaron]

That was a Headgum podcast.