#332: Sleep. Trip. Scream.

Summary

Podcast Summary: Hey Riddle Riddle Episode #332: Sleep. Trip. Scream.

Release Date: November 27, 2024
Hosts: Adal Rifai, Erin Keif, John Patrick Coan (JPC)
Platform: Headgum

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Introduction & Light Banter (00:00 - 10:00)

The episode kicks off with the hosts engaging in playful banter, discussing a variety of topics from McDonald's meal deals to the complexities of the "Simon Says" game. Erin shares her humorous take on the game's rules, highlighting moments where the hosts attempt to outwit each other with deceptive commands.

Notable Quote:
Erin: "Simon says record a riddle podcast." (02:00)
This playful directive sets the tone for the episode, blending humor with the podcast's core theme of riddles and improvisation.

Data Breach Discussions & Personal Anecdotes (10:00 - 20:00)

The conversation shifts to the topic of data breaches, with Adal expressing distrust in platforms like Temu and Ticketmaster. He recounts a personal experience involving a knee surgery that led to unexpected numbness, navigating the frustrations of contacting his doctor post-operation.

Notable Quote:
Adal: "One of the things was, like, numbness. If you have, like, tingling or numbness that won't go away with a position change, like, that might be a cause for concern, call the doctor." (04:10)
This highlights the practical challenges patients face when dealing with post-surgery complications.

Erin's First LARPing Experience (20:00 - 30:00)

Erin delves into her inaugural experience with Live Action Role-Playing (LARPing). She describes the initial intimidation of sword fights and vampire encounters but ultimately finds joy in warding off vampires with candles and participating in castle defense meetings.

Notable Quote:
Erin: "It was scary to me, but I really liked warding off vampires with candles and making little soup..." (12:37)
Her enthusiasm for the immersive experience underscores the podcast's appreciation for unconventional activities.

Interactive Riddles Segment (30:00 - 50:00)

The hosts transition into the riddles portion of the episode, presenting a series of kid-friendly riddles submitted by a listener named Helen. They attempt to solve each riddle, often leading to humorous misunderstandings and improvised scenes that exaggerate their thought processes.

Notable Riddle & Solution:
Riddle: "Why can't a baseball player be afraid of the dark?"
Solution: "Because they can always go home."
(53:24 - 55:00)
Despite initial confusion, the hosts collaboratively arrive at the solution, demonstrating their improvisational skills.

Notable Quote:
Adal: "I just think we're all moving past my awesome once in a lifetime for a chicken experience last summer." (37:02)
Reflecting on previous humorous moments, Adal emphasizes the camaraderie among the hosts.

Role-Playing Scenes Based on Riddles (50:00 - 60:00)

Building on the riddles, the hosts enact scenes that bring the questions to life. From playing chickens caught in a rainstorm to mimicking scenarios involving math teachers dealing with student antics, these improvisational skits add a dynamic layer to the discussion.

Notable Scene:
The reenactment of a math teacher's last day, where Adal portrays the teacher dealing with relentless student bullying, culminating in exaggerated classroom chaos.
Adal: "Because of the divorce." (47:55)
This scene humorously explores the emotional toll of a teacher's final day, blending absurdity with relatable frustrations.

Voicemail Segment & Listener Engagement (60:00 - 70:00)

Listeners contribute voicemails that the hosts read and react to. These messages range from playful queries about nuclear medicine to humorous takes on personal experiences, fostering a sense of community and engagement.

Notable Voicemail:
Listener: "What game do Fish like playing the most?"
Hosts: "What happens when you take your father's pie?" (58:24 - 59:21)
The playful exchange around this riddle showcases the hosts' ability to maintain humor while addressing listener submissions.

Promoting Collaborations & Future Content (70:00 - 73:55)

In the concluding segments, the hosts promote upcoming projects and collaborations. Adal encourages listeners to join their Patreon for bonus content, while JPC introduces his new horror-comedy podcast, "Gutter." They also discuss plans for future kid-friendly episodes, pledging to deliver more family-oriented content in the following year.

Notable Quote:
Adal: "Check out our Patreon. Patreon.com.heyriddleriddle..." (65:20)
Highlighting the podcast's expansion and the hosts' commitment to providing diverse content, this promotion invites listeners to become more involved.

Conclusion & Final Thoughts (73:55 - End)

The episode wraps up with the hosts reflecting on the day's discussions and improvisations. They express gratitude towards each other and their audience, reinforcing the podcast's friendly and collaborative atmosphere.

Notable Quote:
Erin: "If you are one of my friends who listens to this, Cody, Charlie, my mom. Can you just send your condolences over a text to me right now while you're listening to this episode?" (31:22)
This heartfelt moment underscores the genuine connections the hosts share, both personally and with their listeners.

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Episode Highlights:

• Humorous Improvisations: The hosts excel in creating spontaneous and entertaining scenes based on riddles and everyday scenarios.

• Listener Engagement: Through voicemails and riddle submissions, "Hey Riddle Riddle" fosters an interactive community atmosphere.

• Personal Stories: Sharing personal experiences, such as Adal's surgery and Erin's LARPing adventure, adds depth and relatability to the conversation.

• Future Content Teasers: Promotions for upcoming podcasts and kid-friendly episodes indicate the show's growth and evolving content strategy.

Overall Impression:

Episode #332, titled "Sleep. Trip. Scream.," blends humor, improvisation, and interactive segments to deliver an engaging and multifaceted listening experience. The hosts' chemistry and willingness to explore diverse topics, from personal anecdotes to creative riddles, make it a compelling episode for both long-time fans and newcomers.

Transcript

[A]

This is a Headgum podcast.

[B]

With the five dollar meal deal at McDonald's. You pick a McDouble, or a McChicken, then get a small fry, a small drink and a four piece McNuggets. That's a lot of McDonald's for not a lot of money.

[C]

Price and participation may vary.

[B]

For a limited time only. The doctor was the mother. He stood on a block of ice. Both of them were goldfish. It was the cabin of an airpl. He stabbed him with an icing and.

[C]

The horses eat Friday.

[A]

Okay, Simon says, put your hand on your nose.

[B]

Wait, there's something about this game that I forget. There's like a rule for this game where it's like, you don't do it because like, Simon's like, I don't want to say pedophile, but he's like something bad. So it's like you shouldn't want to do it.

[A]

You're being awfully chatty in this game of Simon says. Simon says put your hand on your head. Simon says put your hand on your butt. Simon says, ah, no one fell for it.

[B]

That one is okay to do because. No, it's not okay. There's a rule to this game that if you get, you break the whole game apart.

[A]

Simon says record a riddle podcast.

[B]

Okay. It's alliteration. If it's Simon says, you do it because it's no.

[A]

Are you on the phone while we're playing? Simon says?

[B]

Yeah, I'm sorry, I'm ordering a personality.

[A]

And where does one order something like that?

[B]

Temu. I'm getting mine on temu. I don't want to pay big box storm prices for my personality.

[A]

If you are wondering who to look up to as an improviser, as a yes, Ander. Just so you know, ADL and he didn't have to was actually doing all the things that Simon said, even though there would have been, there'd be no proof of it in the episode. And JPC was. What was JPC doing?

[B]

Have you guys ever ordered anything off of temu?

[C]

No, because I've heard they steal your information.

[B]

Well, everybody's stealing your information. Why wouldn't they?

[C]

They have your credit card information. If you type it in the number.

[B]

Of letters that I've gotten in my life, being like, hey, you know this place that you trusted to keep your information private? Oh boy, we had a little bit of a hiccup. And now your Social Security number, the.

[A]

One that you're being beamed onto the moon, everyone could see it.

[C]

Yeah, I feel like Ticketmaster just had like a 500 million person data breach or something.

[B]

Yeah. What?

[A]

Not my sweet ethical Ticketmaster. No, not them. They're the last to fall.

[C]

Yeah, Aaron. So now a $50 ticket is going to have an additional $93 data breach fee.

[B]

So. Yeah, the one that happens to me and it's happened to me. I think twice is like, hey, remember that doctor's office you went to six years ago? Oh, yeah. They took them to the cleaners. They got it all. They got all your info, they got all your medical records. That's stuff's gone. And you're like, it's a fucking doctor's office.

[C]

Shouldn't you.

[B]

Come on. Okay, speaking of doctor's office that you don't trust with any of your data. You two know I recently just had a knee surgery. A small thing. I wasn't getting my knee replaced or whatever, but the first week, I'll be two weeks. I'm almost two weeks now, but the first week was kind of miserable. You just can't move your knee and you're laying around and it kind of sucks. But when. I don't know how many surgeries you guys have had, but when they. This was my first. My first. Like, they.

[A]

Congratulations.

[B]

Thank you.

[C]

Oh, I didn't know it was your first.

[B]

They said something special inside for my first. They said that they'll find it, like on my fifth century.

[C]

Like a time capsule.

[B]

Yeah, like a time capsule to show.

[C]

People how you're writing.

[A]

It's like a poem a fifth grader wrote.

[C]

Box of Life cereal, Today's newspaper.

[B]

It was an elective surgery. I was getting a poem put into my knee. But, you know, you go to the hospital, you do the whole thing. If you're getting anesthesia, they like, you're not supposed to eat until the night before, and you're not supposed to drink anything after whatever time, you're supposed to go to the hospital, like four hours before your surgery or whatever.

[C]

Anesthesia. The lost Russian princess, Erin. Is that right?

[B]

But it's.

[A]

I can't remember anything from that movie. I panicked.

[B]

When you go, like, I met with the doctors and everything before the surgery, but then they put you out, and then you wake up in a room with the nurses. And then for me, I could put full weight on it and I was fine. So they were called my wife and I went home. But you don't get to talk to the doctor after that. You make an appointment for two weeks later for when they take the stitches out in my knee. So I haven't had that Appointment yet, but they give you a packet that is like, here's some information. But it's like, if you have questions, I don't know. Good luck. Good luck. If you have questions. If you have questions, maybe you should have thought of that before you did the surgery, huh? But one of the things that they have on the packet, and like I said, it's my first surgery, is they're like, if you have. If you have these things happen to you, call the hospital or call the doctor's office. And one of the things was, like, numbness. If you have, like, tingling or numbness that won't go away with a position change, like, that might be a cause for concern, call the doctor. And so I was getting, like, tingling and numbness, but it was all in my right hand, which is where the IV was, but not my, like, left knee. And I was like, I don't want to go to the fucking emergency room. Like, it doesn't feel like it's whatever. But I couldn't. I couldn't. I was like, this is. I don't know what to do. So, like, I called the doctor's office, and they were like, well, the doctor's in surgery today, but you can leave a message for his secretary, and the secretary will get the message to the doctor and blah, blah, blah. So I spent a whole day being like, fuck, do I just go to the emergency room? Because I'm obviously waiting for this call. And then finally it was like 3:00. And again, my hand was a little numb, fingers tingling. And the doctor called me, and they were like, okay, what's going on? And I was tingling. It says on the sheet, numbness, it won't go away. And he's like, is it in the leg? And I was like, no, not in the leg. It's in my right hand. And he's like, where in the right hand? And I was like, in my fingers, like, my fingertips and stuff. And he goes, it sounds kind of like carpal tunnel. Like, it might just be some carpal tunnel. And I was like, oh, okay. And he was like, do you. Have you been like, do you do a lot of stuff, like, on the computer? And I was like, not really. Not in the last week. Like, I've just been laying in bed. And then in my head, I was like, you've been laying in bed for one calendar week playing Steam deck? Just playing Steam Deck. And I was like, oh. I was like. And I was like, yeah, okay, cool. Sounds normal. Like, thank you. Okay, goodbye. And in my head, I'm like, I wonder if you can get carpal tunnel from playing 81 Hours of Rotato.

[A]

Yeah, I think you could.

[B]

I was like, maybe you can get.

[C]

That from that jpc.

[A]

You called your doctor and you're like, hey, I'm addicted to games.

[B]

But also, it's fun because I have played my steam deck more than I played my steam deck since I bought it. And so I'm really getting my money's worth of my carpal tunnel.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

Well, the other. The other sort of reality is that during your knee operation, they could have put carpal tunnel in your hand so that you could come back and make more money off of. It's like, going to Midas or, like, Meineke or something. What's the Midas? Is that one the Midas touch?

[B]

The Midas touch? Yeah. What is Midas? Yeah, I think so.

[A]

What is Midas?

[B]

I think car change place.

[A]

Yeah, I know that theme, and I know that company. I have no idea what they do.

[C]

It's an oil change place, and if they touch your car, it turns to gold.

[B]

I think the. Yeah, that's it. The other thing about the, like, the surgery is I thought it would be when I got my wisdom teeth taken out. I got put under for the wisdom teeth. And they give you the gas, and they tell you to count backwards from 10, and then you get to, like, seven and you're done. Like, you're just asleep. These motherfuckers never gave me the count backwards. They were like, hey, here's some oxygen. Breathe into this oxygen. And then I was asleep. I was like, at least. At least do the count back. Like, everybody wants the count backwards.

[A]

Yeah, I'm sorry that happened. I gave them. I slipped them $20 to do that. So I'm happy to hear that. They said, that's the thing.

[B]

I'm paying premium for this experience. And I don't even get to count backwards. But you know what? I think that the lesson learned there is, if you want something, ask for it. Because I'm sure if I had been in there and be like, hey, can you guys do the thing where you told me to count backwards from 10? I'm sure they would have jumped on that and been like, yeah, no one ever asked us to play fucking freebird. Everybody thinks that yelling freebird makes you an asshole, but, like, no one actually asked for it. And it's fun to play.

[C]

Yeah, it's like when kids go to a truck, like, to a semi, do the honk, honk thing.

[B]

Yeah, that trucker sitting there wishing somebody Gives him the Hong Kong.

[A]

Please, please, please, please don't.

[C]

Please.

[A]

I love my cool horn.

[B]

Please.

[A]

I remember when I got my tonsils out in the first grade and they put me under and they did that countdown thing. And then my vision started to, like, move, and it felt like I was on the conveyor belt, like, leaving consciousness. And I remember thinking, as a first grader, I bet this is what dying feels like.

[B]

Oh, wow.

[A]

And it's such a strong, visceral memory for me, anyways.

[B]

Anyone else?

[A]

An anxious kid.

[B]

I was in the hospital once with my wife, and she was going in for a surgery, and she was asking her doctor. She was like, I know that you, like doctors play music during surgery. She's like, what music do you like to play during surgery? And I was like, that is an awesome question. Because for the three minutes that you get to know your doctor before they should start cutting into you, I think that's a good question to gauge if this doctor is cool.

[A]

I know. But at that point, it's too late. So what if your doctor's Black Eyed Peas? And then you're like, no, no, no, no.

[B]

I think you could say cancel surgery. I think you could say cancel surgery. But her doctor. Her doctor was like. She was like, I always play Beyonce. She's like, I love playing Beyonce. And then Mariah was like, okay, I'm in good hands. And I asked my doctor. I was like, do you listen to sur. Do you listen. Will you listen to, like, music during. In the surgery? And the doctor was like, you're gonna be in there for 30 minutes. I was like. He's like. I was like, you're right. You couldn't even listen to, like, a full Weezer album.

[C]

Here's what I want to know. That's a great question, because now I want to know, do we think that doctors add in their own lyrics where it's like, let's get a scalpel. Let's get a scalpel in here.

[B]

That one would be maybe tricky because the nurse is like. And the pulse go, run in, run it and run it. Run it, and run it. Run in. Crash cart, nurse, crash cart. I hope so.

[A]

Yeah. I hope so. I hope so, frankly. I hope so. I am, I am. Old man puzzles. I am, I am.

[B]

She owns it.

[C]

Erin, step into your riddleness.

[A]

Thank you. Thank you for the permission. Thank you for hyping me up really quick before we get into riddles. I did go LARPing this weekend, and it was insane. It was the most overwhelming and incredible experience. I actually do think the three of us should all go at one point, because I think it would be the most fun ever to talk about.

[B]

Is this Your first time LARPing, Erin?

[A]

First time ever. LARPing. The stuff @ night was really scary to me, but the daytime stuff, I had a blast doing stuff at night. Well, I got there, and I was immediately very overwhelmed because people were fighting with swords and there was vampires out, and I was like, this is terrifying. But I really liked sort of, like, warding off vampires with candles and making little soup and going to, like, meetings where people were talking about the politics of, like, what castle we should guard that part of it. I loved the fighting stuff. Was a little spooky to me, but it seemed like everyone else was having a really good time.

[C]

Did you live? Did you get turned? Did you.

[A]

My character lived, but I. You have to do an NPC shift. And I got killed so much during my NPC shift. I played a townsperson that was in, like, Mind controlled by a vampire. Okay. And I got murdered, I want to say eight times. And then I was another townsperson. Didn't get murdered. And then I was an orphan that people were trying to assassinate, and I had scary black makeup ripping down my face. It was actually pretty incredible.

[C]

The fact that it's. I love that it's called, like, a shift, where it's, like, at clocking in as a villager. Mind controlled by a vampire. How you doing, Greg?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

How's the wife and kids?

[B]

Mind controlled by a vampire.

[C]

How are the wife and kids? Not great. Also, mind controlled by a vampire.

[A]

It was so funny. Like, during the day on Saturday, I went to, like, a bard singing competition, and I was like, this is so nice. This I love. I'm just sitting here in my little, like, renaissance outfit listening to people sing songs. And then a guy went up on stage and killed himself because the vampire made him. And I was like, can we not know peace? Can we not even enjoy music? I was so upset, but it was so fun. And Zach, Reno, friend of the show, friend of the pod, was there being a bard, and was so charming and funny and welcoming and that. That was awesome.

[B]

But not his first rodeo or.

[A]

Oh, no, he's been going for years.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And was.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It was just so fun. It was so cool and so fun, and I think we should all go together. I really do think it would be an important part of this show's history if we experienced something like that together. Okay. I'm old man puzzles. Everybody stop screaming.

[C]

Aaron. Yes, we do what we did for the Escape room. We put on lav mics, lav laugh lav, and we record ourselves larping.

[A]

I love that idea. There was a moment on Friday where they were like, I was doing my training and I was doing military training and in front of like 40 people, this guy tossed me a sword and I missed it in such a major way. And then I was like, well, that would have been really cool. And the people around me laughed when I mumbled that. But there were so many moments of like true humiliation that I experienced that I immediately thought of you guys. I was like, they would have loved this. They would have loved this.

[B]

Aaron, say you go to the grocery store. Normal thing to do. People have to do it every week. How many moments of true humiliation do you experience doing something like that? Because I want to know, was this above average for true humiliation moments or. Okay, got it.

[A]

Yeah, definitely. But you know what I said to a couple people when we were outside the context of the larping where I was like, I'm kind of eat, pray loving this year. I'm trying to make myself feel uncomfortable and put myself in situations. And this is like, it's so funny because I know I'm an improviser and I know I play D and D and all these things, but larping is like so deeply outside of my comfort zone. And I'm such an introvert and I get so self conscious that I'm like, I don't know. So I was expecting to be so humiliated that I felt a little like calloused to it. Like I sort of surrendered to it.

[C]

Sure. Aaron. I was gonna say your eat, pray love would be more like sleep, fall, fall, trip, scream.

[A]

Sleep, trip, scream. Okay, hold on, I'm writing that down.

[B]

I got a question for the two of you.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Have you guys ever been on temu's website?

[A]

You have been fully checked out for the last seven minutes. Are you. Are you on temu's website?

[C]

Are we sponsored by temu?

[B]

Everything on temu's website is almost sold out. I'm like, look, I understand a marketing gimmick, but when you do it for everything, that can't be right.

[A]

I don't see a typing in TEMU.

[B]

That costs over $20 either. God, we got. We gotta be going on Temu.

[A]

Oh, what is this?

[B]

Aaron, can I get you this? Can I get you a sweatshirt that says my blood type is Dr. Pepper? Would that work?

[A]

I would actually. Really? That would actually mean a lot to me.

[B]

My birthday is this week that says yes, I'm still freezing and the quote is attributed to me 24,7 JPC.

[A]

I'm actually telling you, if you don't send me the link to that, I will be really, really sad.

[B]

I'm about to send these to who? Links to everybody. I know. I'm about to say to adl, how would you like three multicolored silent basketballs? Yes, silent basketballs.

[A]

What does that mean?

[B]

I know that Adel. I know my man adol wants a five piece camo 3D ghillie suit for only 2549. Now that would be cool.

[C]

Is that the one where it looks like you're in a swamp? Like you're part of a marsh?

[B]

Yeah, it looks like you're a swamp thing just covered in moss like your cousin it, but with moss.

[C]

Yeah, I could wear that to the LARPing also. Erin, during LARPing, am I able to like mow these motherfuckers down with my car or something?

[A]

Like that would be murder.

[C]

If I. Well, if I put like, if I paint my car with like horses, like if I paint it like it's a horse, is that okay?

[A]

Okay, yeah, you can kill all those.

[B]

I'm sure you could like put together a cardboard car in like Flintstone style and then like run that into people and be like, it's a LARP.

[C]

You got hit by a car, it's a LARPing.

[B]

You gotta die.

[A]

It was so funny that I a few times I got there and I was like, I feel like I've come here to cosplay being scared to walk alone at night. And I was like, I feel like I can sort of get enough of this in the real world. There was a moment where literally I'd walk down Murder Alley because, yeah, there's a place called Murder Alley in this game. And I literally walked up to like two six foot something guys who were dressed as knights. And I was like, hey, can you walk me down Murder Alley? I'll draw some spells on your hands to keep you safe. And they're like, yeah, okay, that rules a woman.

[C]

Like, you should have mace on hand. I know she's hand you a medieval mace.

[A]

Why am I here? This is just life. Okay, okay, okay, okay. Everybody okay, okay, okay. I do have to. We have to do riddles.

[B]

Sure. Hey.

[A]

But looking at the TEMU website, I'm like, this is, you know in wall E where there's just like buildings made out of garbage.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

This is the garbage that buildings will be made out of in 20 years.

[B]

I had to close the TEMU website because I Felt like if I was. If I stayed on it for five more minutes, I would get adhd. I would like. I would finally understand ADHD in a real way where I was like, I gotta be off of this thing.

[C]

Do you guys. Real quick, do you guys hear that? That's me dribbling a silent ball.

[A]

That rocks.

[C]

I already got one. I already got one.

[B]

It's like a what? Like a zin koen. Like the tree falls in the forest and no one hears it. That was the sound of ADL dribbling three silent basketballs.

[A]

These are from Helen. And these are some warmup riddles. Hi Adleron and JPC. I'm a huge fan of the pod and have been an avid listener since 2018. Recently, I found a book of riddles in my parents ATT that I used to read all the time with my siblings as kids. A lot of them are pretty awful and arguably not riddles in the first place. So I thought you'd love them. They'd make pretty good warmup riddles. Here are a few. And these are all. These are like riddles for kids vibes. Just going into this, just to give you a heads up. What did the flag say to Thomas Jefferson?

[C]

Hmm? What did the flag say? Now, is this important that it's Thomas Jefferson? Specifically?

[A]

I would say no.

[C]

Okay, okay, okay. Jpc, what do flags do?

[B]

Or what?

[C]

They have stars and stripes, but it.

[B]

Doesn'T matter that it's to Thomas Jefferson or it could just be to anyone who was, like, president.

[A]

It could be to anyone, frankly.

[B]

Anyone, frankly.

[C]

Oh, Benjamin, frankly.

[A]

Benjamin, frankly. Yeah. Not a president, but a founding father.

[B]

So this is more just what did the flag say to a man? Or what did the flag say to just any person? The flag said this thing to a person.

[A]

Yeah. Come on, guys.

[C]

I'm at half mast.

[A]

What if this is sort of like a little cheeky joke?

[C]

Ooh. Something about a pole. What else about flags, Salutes stars and stragglers.

[B]

God.

[C]

Fold it. Never let it touch the ground.

[B]

It's really tripping me up that it doesn't matter that it's Thomas Jefferson.

[A]

Yeah. Because now I'm like, what does this flag do?

[B]

Why is it Thomas Jefferson?

[C]

It waves in the wind. It waves. It waved at him.

[A]

Yes. Nothing. It just waved.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

Got it. It really, truly did not matter that it was Thomas Jefferson.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I'd like to see a scene.

[B]

Well, Aaron, hold on now before we see a scene, because you said something interesting there. This is. I think we're. This is the day before Thanksgiving when This comes out. Sometimes we try to do a kid friendly episode. Have we talked about anything? So, murder. Ally. Nevermind.

[C]

Oh, yeah. You called Simon a pedophile.

[B]

Yeah, maybe within the first one minute. Sex ed pedophile.

[A]

And where do you think our listeners are right now? Are they sort of prepping Greyhound?

[C]

Bush.

[A]

Greyhound bus.

[C]

Which is the same as jail, Jill, for the night.

[A]

If you're at a Greyhound bus, Casey, here you say way out. And if you just heard someone else say whale on your Greyhound bus, go over to them and take their phone away and say, you deserve better than. Hey, Riddle, Riddle.

[B]

I recently got a manicure and I found out that the thing that they use to scrub the bottom of your foot is called a pedophile.

[A]

No, it's not.

[C]

Okay, well, that's a pedicure, which alleviates people from being pedophiles. It's a pedicure.

[A]

Okay, okay, okay, okay.

[B]

What do we want to see?

[A]

I want to see a scene as.

[B]

Dirty as I want in this scene.

[A]

No, no, Adam, no, no. You are President of the United States of America.

[C]

Finally.

[A]

And jpc. You are the flag that's in the Oval Office and you have sort of some ideas about what the president can be doing better.

[B]

Gotcha.

[C]

Ooh, what a nice crisp morning. Take a big gulp of my red bul.

[B]

Morning, Mr. President.

[C]

Ah, good morning, flag.

[B]

Good morning. I'm assuming you were briefed on me.

[C]

Yes, I was let in on all the secrets of the White House. That this flag does talk, but only to the President. I know about the tunnels that JFK took to sneak Maryland minority.

[B]

Because I am the souls of.

[C]

Oh, you're the souls of all the presidents who have come before.

[B]

Come before? Yes. Just the ones that have died.

[C]

Oh, yeah, that's okay.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, trust me. I am ready for Jimmy Carter. Oh, I'm chosen for Jimmy Carter. Get in my belly, fat bastard.

[C]

And I just want to real quick say that this is being recorded on Monday, November 4th, so I don't know what. Oh, I hope nothing in this scene is. Anyway, Anyway. Anyway.

[A]

Yeah, it is Monday, November 4, at 8:47am Pacific Standard Time. We don't know what happens and for.

[B]

Sure Jimmy Carter lives, though. I mean, come on, let's see. Pause. Scene pause. We don't think Jimmy Carter's going in the next 20 days.

[A]

Well, it depends on who wins.

[C]

Do we think Aaron Carter's still dead on? See, don't send them any advice on how to like. Yeah, I want to make big time. Okay. Oh, yeah. I want to make sure like, the staff respects me. Like, any advice on that?

[B]

No, fuck that. That does not matter. The staff does. Not you. You're their boss. You can hire him and you can fire him. In fact, I would do a couple rounds of that, like, within the first 90 days.

[C]

Oh, perfect.

[B]

Yeah. Some people fire. Some people really shake things up. Make them fear you.

[C]

Hell, yeah.

[B]

We got to get down to brass tacks.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

I think you probably have recognized, if you're looking at me, you know, full on as a flag. I got a few extra stars in there.

[C]

Yes. Yeah, I saw. I noticed that. I thought it was a mistake. Or maybe Betsy.

[B]

No, no, no, no, no, no.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

You're in charge of getting this done. Three more states.

[C]

Mmm.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Okay, cool. And do I get to choose or. This is sort of like you all have your eye on something.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, you don't know which one of these stars is, like, California. Right. You don't know which one. It's Alaska. It don't matter to the flag.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

You know what the states are? It's just three more states, like, immediately. I'll tell you, there's probably some, like. I don't know, some, like, easy ones.

[C]

Like Prince Edward Island. Yeah.

[B]

Number one of the bulletproof Edward Island. You could make that a state. You could throw, like. I mean, you could do Puerto Rico. You could grab that one up, like, quick if you wanted to. Be kind of, like, basic.

[C]

I mean, it's already sort of a U.S. territory.

[B]

Exactly. I'm saying you could. You could have Guam.

[C]

Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Right. But, like, that's like that. You're thinking too small, you know?

[C]

Okay, who maybe, like, Belarus.

[B]

That would be. I think awesome is if you just annexed. Belarus made a mistake again.

[C]

It's Monday, November 4th. We don't know what's happened.

[B]

We don't know if there's still Belarus.

[A]

Mr. President. Mr. President.

[C]

I was just talking to these birds. You're crazy.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. That is what it feels like talking to a man. You're right. Good point about talking to a man. Okay.

[B]

If you walk into a room and a man says, I was just talking to these birds. You're crazy. He was masturbating. There's nothing else he could have been doing.

[A]

Okay, let's. We're actually gonna get through all of these before we go on break. That's how quick. Because everyone always comments. Erin.

[B]

Okay. Erin, you got two minutes.

[C]

Did we get. Oh, we got the first one.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Who wrote I love school?

[C]

Who wrote I love school?

[A]

This is like an Impossible to get.

[C]

Is this a pun?

[A]

No, it's just like a weird. This is, I think, an impossible riddle to get.

[C]

Is it the ruler?

[B]

Kind of unfair for Erin to say, we're gonna get through these really fast. And the first one she gives, I'll.

[A]

Tell you what it is.

[B]

It's impossible.

[A]

This one is. I am kidding. Like, it's a funny joke. Why is the Easter Bunny the luckiest animal in the world?

[B]

Is this where we are? Whatever happened in the election, we deserve it because this is where we are.

[A]

Why is the Easter Bunny the luckiest animal in the world? This one's kind of morbid, ultimately.

[C]

Hmm.

[B]

Because he couldn't. Because he gets to find his own eggs?

[A]

No, because.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Why is the Easter Bun.

[B]

Easter bun the luckiest? Oh, because he's the only one that gets to know God's love.

[A]

No.

[C]

Oh. Biggest penis out of all the rabbits.

[A]

No.

[B]

Hold on.

[A]

No, no, no, no, no.

[B]

But we're going in the right direction.

[C]

But I'm right.

[A]

No, no, no.

[C]

Aaron, I'm right.

[A]

I don't you think I know?

[B]

Aaron was screaming? No. And both Adel and I's response was, but yes.

[C]

Though you know what, Adel?

[A]

You're right. I've been sleep trip screaming this year. So I do know the size of the Easter Bunny's fetus. You're right. That's the kind of year I'm having. You're right. Actually, when I slept with the Easter Bunny this summer, when I was in a manic episode, I did find out the size of his penis. Wow. I'm better now. Why is the Easter Bunny the luckiest animal in the world?

[C]

I'm better now.

[B]

Is perfect.

[A]

I'm better now. I'm better. I'm fine now. Why is the Easter Bunny the luckiest man in the world?

[C]

Wait. The lucky man?

[A]

Luckiest animal. Animal. Animal. I was thinking about sleeping with him. And that's why he's the luckiest man.

[C]

Does it have something to do with sundaes? Does it have something to do with eggs?

[A]

No. What's something that's lucky? Like famously lucky?

[C]

Clover.

[A]

What else?

[C]

Rabbit's foot.

[B]

Oh, rabbit's foot. Rabbit's. He's got rabbit's foot.

[C]

Two rabbits feet.

[A]

He's got four rabbit's feet.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

Really good hands.

[C]

I've never seen the Easter Bunny on all fours, to be honest.

[A]

I have.

[C]

The Easter bunny. Aaron, fake the Easter Bunny.

[A]

Dribbles silent basketball, shoots it. At who?

[C]

Swish. I mean, Aaron.

[A]

What? What about me?

[C]

Any other episode, I would call for a Scene where you're pegging the Easter Bunny, But I know you said you want to get through all these, so.

[A]

I thank you so much. And you know what? If you're one of my friends who listens to this, Cody, Charlie, my mom. Can you just send your condolences over a text to me right now while you're listening to this episode?

[C]

She's better now.

[B]

She's better now.

[A]

I'm sorry about what you have to sort of go through. Okay, next one. Why do chickens enjoy thunderstorms?

[C]

Ooh. Why do chickens enjoy thunderstorms?

[B]

I know that if you leave them out in the rain, they'll, like, open their mouths, look up, and drown themselves.

[C]

Huh?

[B]

So don't take a turn.

[A]

What are you talking about?

[B]

Chickens are so dumb that if you leave them outside in, like, a rainstorm.

[A]

Is this true?

[B]

Like, drown themselves by just, like, looking up and gaping at the sky? It's either true or not true. I mean, does it matter anymore? In a post election world, like in.

[C]

The Black Hole sun music video, it.

[A]

Doesn'T seem likely that chickens will drown in the rain. But they can get into trouble if they're wet for too long. Same with submarine.

[C]

Hey.

[B]

Oh, you get like, a yeast infection, right?

[C]

Aaron, can you read it one more time? Why do chickens love the storms?

[B]

Thunderstorms.

[A]

Why do chickens enjoy thunderstorms? And it's sort of a play on words.

[C]

Does that have something to do with lightning?

[A]

No.

[B]

Does it have something to do with the sound that chickens make and the sound that thunder.

[A]

No. A thunderstorm is not good weather. Right? Like bad weather?

[B]

Yeah. Oh. Cause they like it when the weather's foul.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Nice.

[A]

I feel like we're blowing past things that have great scene options, but I made a promise.

[B]

That's on you.

[C]

That's on you, Erin.

[A]

Well, then let's go on a break and then we don't have to. I don't have to be blowing this as much. And then I'll do a ton of riddles when we. I throw up Dunkin Donuts, coffee down my chest. I haven't had it in months. No, I'm drinking it right now. I'm actually. I am. Something is happening in my brain, and we do need to go on a break. This is the first time I've ever really needed a second.

[B]

We're not on the break yet. We're still.

[A]

I do need a second to compose myself. All right. We will be right back.

[C]

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp Adel JPC.

[A]

I just want to tell you that I am very grateful for the two of you. And the reason why I'm able to sort of hold space for that is because I am feeling also really grateful for myself. I've been working really hard, and my therapist is really building up my confidence. And if I am taking care of me, then I can take care of other people. And I just want to tell you guys that I love you.

[B]

Wait a second. Therapist. Therapist. Erin, have you been thinking of starting therapy and giving BetterHelp a try?

[A]

Well, you caught me.

[C]

It's like she's already using it. Erin. And I love you too. BetterHelp is entirely online. It's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. All you have to do JPC is fill out a brief questionnaire, get matched with a licensed therapist, and switch therapists at any time for no additional charge.

[A]

I love that I don't have to wait in traffic and wait in a waiting room to see my therapist. It's online. I can message my therapist anytime, whenever I'm actually facing a problem, and they get back to me in such a timely way with the most thoughtful response. And it works so well for my brain.

[B]

And you know what? Most people can benefit from therapy because therapy is really just talking about your feelings with another person. And I think that that is honestly something that everyone could use a little bit more of. And if that sounds like something that you would like in your life, let the gratitude flow with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com Riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp. H E L p.com Riddle Aaron so.

[C]

Now that you have self love, you probably don't need us anymore.

[A]

No, that's not true. Give you guys a hug. Realizes I've never hugged you guys before. Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot hands.

[C]

Okay, Erin, don't yawn.

[B]

Aaron, don't yawn. You're gonna make me yawn. Yeah.

[C]

Ooh.

[B]

Yeah. I told you you wouldn't like it the way I yawn.

[A]

I'm exhausted. I think I gotta go home to my Helix mattress.

[C]

Oh, yeah. I gotta go home to my Helix mattress. I love my Helix mattress.

[B]

And I am home. And I'm on my Helix mattress. It's a midnight luxe. It's the best mattress I've ever had in my entire life. And I'm sleeping on it right now. And this is a dream. I would say you're my puppets.

[A]

Yes, Anne.

[C]

Yes, Anne. Yes, Anne.

[A]

Yes, Ann.

[C]

Gemma and I also have a midnight luxe. It's the most comfortable bed we've ever owned. It's the best sleep I've ever gotten in my life. Sometimes when our cats are being rambunctious, we'll pick one of them up, say, brisket. We'll put him on the Helix. Sleep immediately. He spins around three times, lays down, goes to bed. It soothes all creatures.

[A]

I've had my mattress for about three years. It still is as good as it was the first night I slept on it. And anytime I have a guest come and they stay in my room, they always go, what is this mattress? I'm obsessed.

[C]

Oh, a guest.

[B]

Aaron, didn't you say that your mattress still sleeps like it's brand spanking new? And didn't you wink when you said spanking?

[A]

You were here for that.

[B]

This could have been a different conversation. Could have been a conversation with a completely different guy.

[A]

You're in my dream. And you're a puppet. And I'm insane. And you're inside.

[B]

Good. And do we all have Helix Midnight Luxe? Is that the mattress that we all have?

[A]

I think so.

[B]

We are all the same sleeper. Wow.

[C]

Well, we just sleep at different times.

[B]

We just sleep at different times. But only one of us could be asleep at any given time. Isn't that true? Isn't that true?

[A]

And isn't that true?

[C]

Isn't that true? And you must remember, remember, remember, remember, remember. It is November, which means there is a November offer right now, 25% off site wide. You get two free dream pillows with any mattress purchase. There's also a free bedding bundle. You get two dream pillows, sheet set and mattress protector with any luxe or elite mattress order. And you can find all that and more by going to helixsleep.com Riddle again, that's helixsleep.com Riddle. All right, you're going to bed.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

You're getting comfy.

[B]

Helix Sleep. Sleep like a podcaster.

[A]

Oh, my gosh. JPC hit us with one more yawn.

[C]

Oh, boy, a cowboy just came running over.

[A]

Why get all your holiday decorations delivered through Instacart? Because maybe you only bought two wreaths but have 12 windows. Or maybe your toddler got very eager with the Advent calendar. Or maybe the inflatable snowman didn't make.

[B]

It through the snowstorm.

[A]

Or maybe the twinkle lights aren't twinkling. Whatever the reason, this season, Instacart's here for hosts and their whole holiday haul. Get decorations from the Home Depot, CVS and more through Instacart and enjoy free delivery on your first three orders, service fees and Terms apply. All right, we are back from break. These riddles are still from Helen. Thank you, Helen. I would actually like to see a scene from the riddle we did before the break. You guys are two chickens in the rain, man. Really?

[C]

Coming down torrential.

[B]

Yeah, coming down. That's what I, Todd, said last summer when I hooked up with a goose.

[C]

Todd, you don't. You don't have to.

[B]

What? You hook up with a goose and then it just happens and it blows down. Yeah. Then I never get to talk about it again.

[C]

We said we were going to educate ourselves, Right? That's why I bought that word of the day calendar. Today's the first day. The word today is torrential. I tried to use it in a sentence.

[B]

I just think we're all moving past my awesome once in a lifetime for a chicken experience last summer.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And it's just like back to being like regular Todd. Like, you have smarts, Steve. Everyone knows you're the smartest chicken.

[C]

Thank you. Is my body gone? Be honest. Is my body gone? Ah. Am I just ahead? Haha. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Am I just a head? Tell me, Todd.

[B]

Am I just ahead?

[C]

I can't run. I can't run. I can't run over.

[B]

You're overreacting. You're. No, you're still full.

[A]

Full body running around.

[C]

Who's that?

[A]

Who's that separate from the head?

[C]

Who was that just running?

[B]

That's Neil. He's one of the new chickens.

[C]

Where's his head? Where's Neil's head?

[B]

He is. Oh, he's one of those chickens with that one.

[C]

Oh. Phew. But I have my body.

[A]

Give me another six minutes before he's dead.

[B]

You got your body seen Ting.

[A]

Who was that? When it's your own body running by you. Who's that? What was that thing?

[C]

I should have been turned on. Who was that?

[A]

Who can jump higher than a house?

[C]

Superman.

[B]

Superman.

[A]

No.

[B]

Easy.

[C]

No.

[A]

I'm so tired of you guys putting Superman on a pedestal.

[C]

Aaron. What, my dear? The answer is everyone. Because houses can't jump.

[A]

Nice. You got it.

[B]

I thought it was Wilson, because Haus leg is kind of fucked up. And that's why he does Vicodin and he's so good at solving the medical.

[A]

Oh, you're talking about the show house.

[B]

No. What are you talking about?

[C]

The neighbor on Home Improvement.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

No. When does a man act like a.

[C]

Dog Every goddamn day.

[A]

When he's easy and he's on all fours over the summer.

[B]

Aaron, I don't want to get Pegged by Aaron, don't want to say this, but is it when there's pussy around?

[A]

You are a father, you are a homeowner, you are a functioning member of society. And yeah, it's when pussies around. High. Fuck. Motherfucker. You idiot.

[B]

We did not.

[C]

I do want to check real quick. I know in the past we've talked about doing a kids episode. Is there anything in this episode?

[B]

Oh God, this could be a kids episode. Why don't we just call this one a kids friendly episode and have parents.

[C]

Be like, oh well, gotta learn sometime.

[B]

Yeah. You shouldn't have trusted us, dumbass.

[A]

This is actually something I will pledge since I normally make this episode a kid friendly episode and it's not happening this time around. This is something we will do next year. Next year I will pick a month, maybe like April or something, and we will do four friendly kid episodes in a row.

[C]

Impossible.

[A]

Yes, we will. I'm pledging it now. I'm making that promise, Aaron.

[C]

I'm happy to try. We will have to record an extra half hour to cut out.

[A]

I know, and I know that about you. And I know that we're gonna have to give you a cushioning on the sides of each episode for you to be like, fuck tits, fuck bitch, Easter Bunny. Eric's Peggy the Easter Bunny.

[B]

I wonder, I wonder if a parent sees Kid Friendly episode in their feed. They gotta listen to that first before showing it to their kids, right?

[A]

No.

[C]

No way.

[A]

No, I think that we have enough. I think. No, I'm sorry, let me rephrase that. I think I have built up enough goodwill with our listeners that if I promise they trust me. If you. If JPC was like Kid Friendly episodes, they would assume that they were X rated.

[C]

Yeah. If we. If it's titled Aaron's Kid Friendly Episode, parents are like, press play, hand it over, done, walk into the other room, do whatever they want. If this is JPC's family friendly episode or Adoles Family Friendly Episode, they're breaking their phone in half.

[B]

I guess it would be like how I treat my family because I don't give a fuck what I say in front of them. So it's like, to me, it would be family friendly because they could listen to anything. I don't give a shit.

[A]

Yeah. You know, sometimes I remember my mom listens to this and it makes me feel insecure.

[C]

Anyways, anyways, the other day I had a dance party with JBC's child to. I did. And it was to the music of Blink182.

[A]

Stop. Do I have to move back to Chicago? I really don't want to, guys. That would be exhausting.

[B]

We had a play date. We had a playdate the other day, and I was talking to another dad, and he was like. He was like, do you play, like, kids music? And I was like, no. And he was like, oh, yeah. We found, like, this kids music channel that's like, they really enjoy. And I was like, my kid likes Dua Lipa.

[A]

So funny.

[B]

My kids into, like, Sabrina Carpenter. Is that like, I have. That feels kind of like kids music.

[A]

When does a man act like a dog?

[C]

Ooh. Joan Baez.

[A]

Think of kinds of dogs that will be helpful to you.

[C]

Oh, when he's retrieving. When he's terrier.

[B]

When she's chilliwawa. When he's Pitbull.

[A]

No. Well, that's worldwide. Yeah, see, I'll take that answer because the answer is so similar to that, but come up with the dog. It's a profession.

[C]

Saint Bernard Malamute.

[A]

A labor profession that's often in cinema. Yes.

[C]

Boxer.

[A]

I'd like to see a scene adl. You're a boxer, an actual boxer. And jbc, you're his coach, and you're trying to pump him up, and he's about to fight a boxer dog in the ring.

[B]

Got it?

[C]

All right. Stick and move, stick and move. I think I got this. I think I got this, boss.

[B]

Okay, now when you get out there, when you get out there, you're not going to want to throw that first punch, okay?

[C]

Because.

[B]

Because people hate.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

No, it's. Honestly, it's because of who your opponent is. There's gonna be a piece of you, a sliver of humanity.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

That's gonna want to not do this fight. But I have to warn you, this is your last chance, Chip. This is your last chance.

[C]

I got it, I got it. I got it.

[B]

If you don't win this fight, okay, it could be. It could be bad things for you.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

We're down a lot of money.

[C]

Yeah. We made promises to the wrong people. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Pretty much every Paul brother has beat the out of you, Chip.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Well, I'm 62, and famously, he fights people in their prime, so I was, of course, his last match.

[B]

Yeah. His last match.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

What a cool.

[C]

What a cool guy. Okay, boss, I gotta ask.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Where do I punch a dog at? Like, where was the dog?

[B]

Anywhere.

[C]

Anywhere. Anywhere.

[B]

Truly anywhere.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

I don't want to get too much into the specifics of it, but this is kind of like a can't lose fight as long as you have the willpower to continue the fight.

[C]

Yeah, I just got it. He's so low to the ground. It's going to be really hard. And I don't know. I didn't hear anything about whether or not he's allowed to bite me.

[B]

Sure he is. He doesn't really intend to. He's. This is not a mean dog as well. Yeah, he's not really gonna understand what's happening either.

[C]

Oh, the round starting. Here we go.

[A]

Round one.

[C]

It's dead. I killed it. It's dead. Oh.

[B]

My God.

[A]

You killed my dog.

[B]

That dog saved the man's life because the mob was gonna. The mob was gonna kill Chip.

[A]

You killed my dog.

[B]

This is a trolley problem. No, stop booing. This is a trolley problem. A man's life or a dog's life. It's not even a. No, it's an even Drake.

[C]

Jake Paul would never.

[B]

He would. I seen him do it. I saw him do this to a Chihuahua.

[A]

Yeah. Probably at a party or something. Behind closed doors, like.

[B]

Oh, yeah, right. You think Jake Paul would invite me to a party?

[A]

Boo.

[C]

Make the coat. Make the coach fight.

[A]

Make the coach.

[B]

Oh, my God, the dog's getting up. Holy shit, the dog's getting up.

[C]

Look at his eye.

[B]

Just hit the dog once. It's doing almost nothing.

[C]

I want to make it feel like it's doing well.

[B]

It's even less convincing.

[A]

I'm having fun. I really love it here. It is so crazy. You know? What is so crazy?

[B]

Just another riddle.

[C]

What is so Carrie Elway's performance in the Princess Bride.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

That's what I was going to say.

[C]

Underrated. Underrated.

[B]

Wait a second.

[A]

What?

[B]

The Princess Bride is underrated?

[C]

No, his performance.

[B]

His performance? Well, I don't know. It feels like one of the most beloved movies of its generation, but I.

[C]

Feel like most people are like, oh, Mandy. Mandy Patinkin is, oh, that you killed my father. Or like Andre the Giant or Wallace, Sean. Inconceivable. But Carol Ways. What a fucking dreamboat.

[A]

He has my favorite moment in that movie when he can't move his arm. And he does the one try and then the second try. That's like my favorite bit of physical comedy in a movie.

[B]

Yeah, the physical comedy in that movie is. It does go pretty hard.

[C]

I like the. When he goes, I'm gonna call the Brute Squad. And Andre the Giant goes, I am the Brute Squad. He goes, you are the Brute Squad. Because what my thought is is that at first, in the script, there was no repetition of you are the brute squad.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

But I think Rob Reiner was like. Can you just repeat what he said?

[B]

Yeah, anything Andre the Giant says. Let's just say it back to him one more time.

[A]

Okay. Why did the math teacher cry on his last day of school?

[C]

Kids hated him. Bullied.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Was he bullied because the kids hated him?

[C]

Oh, because he incited division.

[B]

Mm.

[A]

Yeah, you got it. He hates being divided from his class.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

I would like to see a scene that sucks too.

[B]

Because it's like math teachers are also people. Guys, they're not people who are in love with math. That's not why they do it.

[A]

I'd like to see a scene. Jpc, you are a math teacher on the last day of school and Adela and I are in your class and we've just been bullying the shit out of you all year and you've sort of had enough.

[B]

Seniors, Seniors, take your seats. Seniors, take your seats. Come on, guys.

[A]

Oh, we are allowed to take our seats home with us. Awesome. Thanks.

[C]

Sweet. Sweet.

[B]

It's the last day of class. Let's just try to get. Let's just try to get through it. You're all graduating and everyone in the class is graduating. Congratulations, guys. You all got D pluses, but.

[C]

Oh, nice. Hey, everybody. Raise your hand if your Toyota Corolla was not keyed. Not so fast, Mr. Johnson.

[B]

I wasn't going to raise my hand. I know. It's obviously been keyed. I know that you guys know that I drive a Toyota Corolla.

[A]

Raise your hand.

[B]

No.

[A]

Don't listen to these two. If you're going to spend the summer going through a messy, drawn out divorce. Why. Why isn't your hand raised?

[B]

I'm not married. Okay, everyone?

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

Because the divorce.

[A]

Because of the divorce.

[B]

No, I've never been married.

[A]

Okay, yeah, we know that. Just wanted to hear you say it out loud.

[C]

We.

[B]

You know, life is actually pretty.

[C]

Okay. Force gum.

[B]

What?

[C]

Eat chocolate is actually pretty messy. Life is actually. You may not believe it.

[B]

Here.

[C]

I can run.

[B]

Laila.

[A]

Wayne.

[C]

Bl.

[B]

That's not the way I sound.

[A]

Your tie is so dumb. It's so clean. Loser.

[B]

It's just a tie. It's just a clean tie.

[A]

Oh, it's just a clean tie. It's just a clean tie.

[B]

I prep at the beginning of the.

[A]

Week and I bring my luncheon to school.

[B]

That's just smart. And it saves money. I don't understand why. I'm getting huge.

[A]

There's vegetables, protein, and a grain protein and grains. Sometimes I may be a bow something sweet so I can fly far, far.

[C]

Far away from here.

[B]

Have I talked about it? Is this just something that you kids have picked up on? Shut up.

[C]

Shut the fuck up. Throws chair at the chalkboard.

[B]

Brett. Brett, what about language? You guys are 18.

[C]

No, this is math.

[A]

I'm a math teacher. I'm a math teacher. I bring my coffee from home four days out of the week. But then I bring a takeout coffee in on Fridays as a little treat to sort of make life seem easier.

[C]

If I have a 10 inch penis. And then I subtract 9 inches, that's the actual size of my penis. Throws another chair at the chalkboard, Brett.

[A]

Yes. That fucking rock's red. I love that.

[B]

You know what you guys are gonna find out? That the world is actually a lot scarier and a lot different than you.

[A]

No, it's not.

[C]

Really. Is that why tomorrow I leave for tour with Shane Gillis? I leave to tour the nation with Shane Gillis.

[A]

He's touring. He's a groupie. He's not invited. He's going anyway. Brett fucking rocks. Prom king.

[C]

Chair at the chalkboard.

[B]

Stop throwing chairs. Okay, look, there's five or six kids in class that don't have chairs. Now at least throw your own chairs. You guys are just lounging.

[A]

Leave. You know what? This class sucks. Math sucks. Math is not important. My phone can do math. You suck. You're ugly.

[C]

Yeah, my phone can do math too. Okay, calculator app. 8,000 plus time.

[B]

Stop. Stop trying to do math.

[C]

What are BBs?

[B]

You're trying to do boobs.

[A]

Beeps he said boobs. Teacher said boobs.

[C]

Teacher said boobs. We got you on camera. You're fucking ruined.

[A]

You're ruined, teacher.

[B]

Whoa.

[C]

10,000 retweets.

[B]

10Th house.

[C]

Sorry, Rexes.

[B]

Come on. Hey, you know what? Look, we've only been in class for two minutes today. I'm gonna call. I'm gonna call it here. I'm gonna call it here. This is the last class. This is the last class before graduation. It's eighth period.

[C]

Throw two chairs at the chalkboard.

[A]

We broke him.

[B]

Stop it.

[C]

We broke him.

[B]

Everybody, Everybody. Enjoy your summer. Enjoy the rest of your lives. Everyone can go home. Brett, Chris, I want to see you guys both after class.

[A]

Mmm.

[B]

Why?

[C]

Because you want to try and kiss us?

[A]

No, pervert.

[B]

It's not because I want to try.

[C]

To kiss your mama. Show us care about your schooling, boy. Remember that. Remember when the teacher in Forrest Gump.

[A]

How do you know my name? Teacher?

[B]

Forrest Gump.

[A]

How do you know my name? Teacher Call me Chris. You know my name?

[B]

Chris.

[A]

What?

[B]

You've been in this class for four years. This is a freshman level math class.

[A]

Hell, yeah.

[B]

That you keep failing. You finally graduated.

[A]

Together.

[C]

We bought an apartment together.

[B]

You bought an apartment together and you're gonna tour with Shane Gillis?

[A]

Toledo. Yeah, the apartment.

[C]

We're going to Toledo?

[B]

Yeah, for probably a couple of nights. If Shane Gillis is probably gonna do a couple of nights there.

[C]

Yeah, at the Mud Hens Arena.

[B]

Look, hey, I just wanted to say.

[A]

What?

[B]

Now that you. Now that you have graduated, effectively, you're getting sentimental? I'm not a teacher anymore. You guys are peers. You guys are peers. So if you ever. Here's my phone number. This is my personal phone. Whoa.

[C]

Teacher's trying to give us his phone number. That's 18.

[B]

If you ever want to smoke weed.

[C]

Wait, what?

[A]

Huh?

[B]

Drink beer.

[C]

That's pretty fucking dank, yo. Wait, Chris is teacher. Cool.

[A]

Wait, 10 inches.

[B]

Go to the park after night? You'll never find out. Go to the park after night and, like, throw fucking bottles.

[A]

So going to the park during the day and throw bottles, that's what, I.

[B]

Guess every day after the morning, it'd be like. The morning throwing bottles?

[A]

Hell, yeah. Wait, you're not so bad after all.

[C]

Yeah. Mr. Johnson, you're actually pretty fucking dope.

[B]

Yeah, I know. I mean, if I was kind of like some lame pushover teacher, you guys would have crushed me, okay? You guys would have. Absolutely. Day one, you would have crushed me. But I'm here, man. I'm chill. I'm cool. Yeah, put your numbers in my phone. Okay.

[C]

Okay, cool.

[B]

I'm not gonna use it to track you guys to Toledo so that I can find you and kill you at a Shane Gillis concert.

[C]

Here's mine. 69420 666. Biebs.

[B]

Yeah. That's not a number. That's not a phone number.

[A]

Oh, great. My number's in your phone. Cool. I didn't listen to what you were mumbling, so everything feels chill.

[B]

Whoa.

[C]

I just looked through your contacts. Casey, Tony. Do you know him from Toledo?

[B]

Yeah, I go to Toledo pretty frequently.

[A]

Seen. All right, let's get through the rest of these Helen riddles. Why can't a baseball player be afraid of the dark?

[C]

Cause they hate bats. Because they love bats. Because they.

[B]

They're not afraid of bats. They can't be afraid of the bats.

[A]

This one's a little strange. The inside.

[C]

Why can't baseball players be afraid of the dark?

[A]

This One doesn't make much sense. This is actually in. Helen, absolutely no disrespect to you. These have been amazing. But this is, I think, my least favorite riddle in a really long time.

[B]

Is it cause they can go home? They can always go home.

[A]

No, this makes. This is nothing. This makes no sense to me. I get it. But I also. I'm like, what is this?

[B]

Is it a baseball pun? Well, I get it with baseball.

[A]

Yeah, but you won't. Because I don't think this is. It's also just not how it works.

[B]

Outfield pitcher. This is like what catcher?

[A]

If like someone didn't know anything about baseball, they were like, this is how it works. Like you would have to get promoted from a certain league into another league.

[C]

Minor leagues.

[A]

Yeah. Mine. Yep.

[C]

Oh, wait.

[B]

In this. Why are they not afraid of the dark?

[C]

Oh, because.

[A]

Why can't they be afraid of the dark?

[C]

Because they always have. AAAs.

[A]

No.

[B]

Double A's. That's good.

[A]

You guys are way too smart for this.

[B]

But you said it's about being promoted from the minors to the majors.

[A]

Kind of. I'm just gonna tell you.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Kind of.

[A]

He will always have to start with the minors.

[C]

Wait, what?

[B]

Don't love saying this.

[A]

I know, I know.

[C]

Simon. Is that a joke about Simon? Wait, so what is the. I still don't understand it. Like a Miners helmet. Like a Miners.

[B]

No, they're saying that you have to start in the minor leagues, but that's just not true because some people go directly to the majors.

[A]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

[C]

But what does that have to do with being in the dark?

[A]

Like mining mine people who mine underground.

[C]

Yeah, okay.

[A]

I know. I told you, I'm the one here.

[B]

Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Also presupposing that miners aren't afraid of the darks in that, right?

[A]

Yes. You guys, I said this is my least favorite riddle in a really long time.

[B]

I want to see a scene.

[A]

No, you don't.

[B]

Ok, go ahead. I want to see a scene. Let's do. Ok, we're all going to be in this one. Adel, Erin and I are going to be miners who have come out of the mine and we're at a bar. And you're going to be another guy at a bar who has a fucked up idea of what a miner is. And you're very much in awe of the two of us.

[A]

I'm gonna grab another beer if you.

[B]

Yeah. Dirty martini. I'll take a dirty martini.

[A]

Oh, sweet. Okay. Are you sure? With your tummy Stuff. That's fine. You're. You're growing up.

[B]

It's. They're on special, so it's more about, like, do I want to pay four bucks for a beer? Do I want to pay four bucks for a dirty martini?

[A]

I get it. I get it. I'm just saying. I know. You got no beer.

[B]

No. Chase a beer. You got to ride home.

[A]

No, I'll get you a dirty martini.

[B]

I forgot. We live. We live two blocks from each other. We're both Ubering in the same car, so. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. You don't want to smell dirty martini farts.

[A]

I'm getting you a dirty martini. I'm getting you a dirty martini.

[C]

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Holy shit. Are you two miners?

[B]

No, we're allowed to be here. At a bar. Just kidding. Yeah, obviously, we're coal miners.

[C]

Oh, man. That is awesome. Can I meet your little birds?

[A]

Are they here talking about the canaries?

[C]

No, the little birds.

[B]

Are you asking us to give you the finger? That's. I feel like that's the one to one. You mean the birds that we take down in the mine with us?

[C]

You have those little birds that are supposed to. They're like your. What's that? In the Golden Compass? You know how they all have, like, daemons or whatever?

[A]

Is it familiar?

[C]

Yeah. Aren't they, like, your little familiars? And, like, if a spell is cast in the mines, they, like, take the spell for you. So they die?

[A]

No, they give us a couple canaries, and Those usually die 15, 20 minutes.

[B]

Into every shift, and we just get working. We forgot what they were for, but, yeah.

[C]

Wands. Do you have your wands?

[B]

What?

[C]

Can I see your wands?

[A]

Hey, stop grabbing my coat.

[B]

Stop grabbing our coats, okay? You're gonna get coal smudges all over you. No, we don't have wands. We have, like, shovels, and it's. Honestly, it's mostly heavy equipment now.

[C]

Oh, sure. Oh, yeah. So you're. I see. I see what you do in the mines. I was thinking of a different type of miner. So you guys are the ones where it's like, you press down on that. You press that handle down into the box, and then the dynamite explodes, and then when the dust settles, your. Your hair's blown backwards. And then close up on your teeth, and they all. They look like piano keys, and then they all fall out.

[B]

First of all, I spent a lot of money on Invisalign, so To tell. For you to tell me. My teeth look like piano key.

[C]

More like line. I can see every inch of the what the?

[A]

We're being bullied in a bar.

[B]

Wait a second. Now wait a damn minute. What do you do, Mr. Holier Than Thou? You think you know everything about us. What is it that you do?

[C]

I play for the New York Mets.

[A]

Scene. All right, we got two more riddles. And then I want to do a voicemail. And then so we just gotta go quick. What game do Fish like playing the most?

[C]

Go Fish.

[A]

No, that would make sense. It's like a road trip game.

[C]

I spy.

[B]

I spy trout. What's the license plate game? The ABC license plate game.

[A]

Or like. Yeah, you play this 20 questions. No, it's officially music game.

[C]

Oh, a music game on a road trip Playlist Roulette.

[A]

Where you like or say like. I go, what's this song?

[C]

Name that Tuna.

[B]

Yeah, Name that tuna.

[A]

What happens when you take your father's pie? I don't get this one.

[C]

Well, to tell your mother that we.

[A]

Ate all the pie. Yeah, you guys suck. You suck. You both suck so bad. And I like you both so much.

[C]

We'll just tell your mother that we ate all the pie. What happens when you take your father's piece?

[A]

You get a Mad dad. That's the answer. Thank you, Helen.

[B]

What? Why? Why did Adel say O like that?

[A]

Can we get a voicemail theme? Casey?

[C]

Jbc. What does that mean? What is.

[B]

I don't know.

[C]

Mad dad.

[B]

What's that thing called when you leave your voice behind in a box, Mr. Bell Design. So your friend can listen to when they're able. That's right. It's a voicemail.

[C]

Ladies and gentlemen, James Taylor.

[A]

That was so lovely.

[C]

That's beautiful.

[B]

That's a voicemail theme by Davey Paul. Davey Paul. Thank you so much for sending that in. If you want to send it in a theme hrrpodcastmail.com, make it a WAV file, keep it to under 30 seconds and you might get it featured on the show. That was awesome. I love that.

[C]

Straight out of the Newport Festival.

[B]

Can we get a voicemail? Gacy. Hello, lovely people. I work in nuclear medicine, which means I inject people with radioactive stuff all day. And the most common question I get is, am I going to glow?

[C]

Which obviously. No, you only get superpowers. So do you four encounter any pervasive misconceptions in your domain? And how do you disabuse people of them? Thanks for everything.

[B]

Back to Kidz Bop for me.

[C]

Benjamin out. Thank you, Benjamin.

[A]

What a charming person.

[C]

What a wild medicine.

[B]

Did Benjamin say nuclear medicine?

[A]

Yeah. Is he like making superheroes for a living. Did we just, like, uncover something that's Bruce Banner.

[C]

We just got a voicemail from Bruce Banner.

[B]

I have had that. I was in a car crash, like, 10 years ago. And they give you a CAT scan or CT scan, but they put this dye in you that is a radioactive dye so that the machine can read it. And it does feel warm as it's going through your body. And it is such a weird sensation to be able to feel a liquid going through your whole body because it's like, yeah, your blood is pumping around there all the time, but you don't really feel it. But when you feel that dye go through, you can kind of, like, feel it, like, hitting every nook and cranny of your insides. It's fun. It's a fun sensation.

[C]

Now, jpc, what type of die was that again? And remember, you're the lead singer of Imagine Dragons.

[B]

That die would be. And just jpc. And just pull one other Imagine Dragon song. Not the one he wants you to do, but just one other. And even if you look at the names of Imagine Thunder, be the thunder.

[A]

Thunder, Thunder. You guys, I went to an Imagine Dragons concert recently.

[C]

We know, and we're jealous.

[A]

I know. And I'm just saying I'm kind of the luckiest girl in the world.

[C]

Erin, you mean jbc Chapel Roan?

[A]

Oh, my God. That sounds incredible.

[C]

Sorry. Chapel Hill, North Carolina.

[B]

Chapel Hill to see.

[C]

I'm so sorry.

[A]

No, I think. Yeah, no, I think you're gonna get.

[B]

Caught up in the discourse of being a straight guy that took a ticket to a Chapel Roan concert when a queer person could have had it, and then you're gonna get fucking canceled.

[A]

Wait, you guys. I forget what the voicemail question was.

[C]

The question was, so people assume if they get injected by any amount of radiation that they'll glow. So he's saying, like, what sort of, like, misconceptions do people have with us? And I guess I'll go first. And the first thing off the top of my head is like, I don't know if this is what you're asking for, but it's the first thing that I thought of, which is so many people will say to the three of us together or individually, they'll just reference something from the show. And I think they expect us to remember. I feel like I can speak for all three of us when I say we don't remember. I don't remember what happened at the beginning of this episode. So I feel like everyone just assumes.

[B]

That we remember the beginning of this episode was the Simon says pedophile thing that we. Okay, you told us to talk about. And Aaron said, don't bring up anymore.

[C]

So that would be my thing, is that people wrongly assume that we remember anything we've said or done.

[A]

I think for me, it's wrongly assuming I remember any riddles. If someone asked me to tell them a riddle, I'm like, I don't know. I really don't know.

[B]

That's really on us, though. Cause we do a riddle podcast and someone's like, oh, great, what's a good riddle? And you're like, okay.

[A]

Oh, yeah, definitely.

[B]

That's not. I think one thing that people would probably assume about me from the character that I play on the show is that I am an extrovert, but I am not. I'm very much an introvert. And I think that there's. That's a fun dichotomy. Cause it's like you get an hour of someone's voice and you're like, ah, this is the way this person is. But it's like, also, this is an hour of my 24 hour day.

[C]

Yeah, that's when you get it all out.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Ring out the cloth.

[B]

Well, and then I think also, if you tell. I don't know about you guys, but I also tell people that I'm a comedian. And I do think that sometimes when you tell someone that you're a comedian, there is, like an expectation that you'll, like, be funny, you know, for them. But it's like, oh, but also, I don't feel like doing that. Like, I'm not at work, I'm not a comedian. That's what I do.

[A]

Self describe as a comedian. I don't feel like a comedian. I feel like a improviser and content creator for sure.

[B]

Yeah, I'd say improviser and content creator if I were you, for sure.

[A]

I really don't, though. I feel like it feels like an insult to comedians when I go like, oh, I'm a comedian. Because I just don't feel comedy forward.

[B]

Interesting. But also, like, I think I hate the term content creator. Like, if someone's like, what do you do? It's like, oh, I'm a content creator. That's like someone being like, what's your favorite food? And you're like, oh, I love chewy and I love. Oh, like, firm can be nice sometimes.

[C]

There's a stigma too. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Well, no, it's just like, too. It's just too little. Everybody is a content creator to a certain extent nowadays.

[A]

Yeah, I'm with you. Adol, do you have anything to plug?

[C]

I want to plug next year we're going to be doing four episodes in a row that are all kid friendly, we assume. And I also want to plug Belarus. Check it out. Read up on it.

[B]

Yeah, read up on it. Maybe before we check it out.

[C]

Yeah. Aaron Keefe, is there anything you would like to plug or promote?

[A]

I'd say check out our Patreon. Patreon.com. hey, Riddleriddle, lots of fun stuff going on over there and if you haven't checked it out before, give it a shot. And if you don't like it, that's fine. Gpc, Any review to read or something to plug?

[B]

Very important thing to plug if you know him and you love him like we do. Our editor, Casey Toney, formerly of the Neoskum podcast, has a brand new podcast that has just released. It's already out, right, Casey?

[C]

That's right. The first episode is already out. I'm gonna play the theme here. Underneath.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

It's a horror comedy narrative podcast. A super high production value show called.

[B]

Gut.

[C]

Gutter is set in a post disaster Pacific Northwest littered with paranormal mysteries. It's crass and chaotically funny and full to the brim with thrills, chills and kills. And Casey. Fade out. Casey's audio. Yeah, good idea, Adol. How about I let the show speak for itself?

[A]

Here we go.

[C]

Oh, my God. He threw the chair.

[B]

He threw the chair. Now he's getting it back because he's.

[A]

Gonna have to sit.

[B]

We are in Casey's home. That was Casey's actual chair. Bodie has a pocket full of like random things. Some twine, a small abacus, One oversized precious moment. Angel that has a real strange face.

[A]

Oh, I thought that was your dick.

[C]

Oh, it was. It was his dick.

[B]

There's a hole in his pocket. And his penis, which does resemble a precious moment.

[C]

Angel with a strange face. Oh, it's a strange face, but it actually looks like a pretty normal penis head. And that's what we call facts. Cannon.

[B]

You look out of the window and you see Toyota Previa upside down on fire.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[C]

Oh.

[B]

But it's not nearby any trees or anything, so it's fine.

[A]

On fire.

[C]

It's fine. It's not fine.

[A]

Gm.

[C]

Jesus Christ. That's my fucking car. Dynamite headbutt. He screams as he headbutts this man.

[B]

This is one of Bodhi's three moves that he has. Dynamite headbutt. And you're gonna see the other two later. You smash Your head into this guy's cue ball. Honestly, his left jaundiced eyeball pops out of his head. He's quivering hard.

[C]

And if you were to take a.

[B]

Picture the second their two heads were touching, it might have been an intimate.

[C]

Tender scene between friends or lovers.

[B]

But if you were to take a picture at any other second, it is just absolutely horrifying. For some men, violence is a form of intimacy, which is so sad.

[A]

That is true.

[B]

Maybe for this man. But anyway, Smashed in the head, passed out.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

God, I love hot dogs.

[C]

That's like my favorite food.

[B]

Back in the day, doctor told me I could only eat two hot dogs a day. Doctors are way cooler out here.

[C]

That's all I'm saying. Oh, really? Oh, okay.

[A]

Do you eat multiple hot dogs a day or the fuck are you getting hot dogs?

[B]

Shipping containers.

[A]

Okay. I haven't had a hot dog. Little.

[C]

I literally have some in my.

[B]

You have hot dogs?

[C]

Oh, I'm coming back. Okay, okay. Whoa. Not with me.

[A]

Not.

[C]

Not in my backpack. Not in my back. What the hell did I just suck down? What were those, Glizzies? Jesus Christ. I ate one of your stun guns. My body starts batteries. You see my big massive bones. Oh, my God. The hell?

[B]

He walks through the French doors and he looks back and he says one last threatening phrase, pointing to the bar.

[A]

I'm gonna. And Violet shoots him in the head.

[B]

You see this guy's ear get fucking blown off. Just like flying off his head. Bye.

[A]

Bye.

[B]

And then at this point, scratch pops up like a mummy.

[C]

Mummy.

[B]

Dynamite headbutt. Within the pit, something is rising, piecing itself together from the bodies and viscera around it. Its black wings spread and it looks back at you with red, wet eyes. Gutter. Casey, look, I'm a longtime fan of your projects. I was a big fan of Neo Scum. Specifically like a three episode arc that I really remember pretty vividly.

[C]

Yeah, that you happen to be on.

[B]

But Casey, everybody who's listening, we have all got the same question. Is there going to be a character whose name is Cum or something like that on the show? Is Cum wizard coming back? Casey, we're always Cum wizard coming back.

[C]

Well, jpc, no spoilers, but guess you just have to listen, bitch.

[A]

Ooh, Casey, this sounds amazing. I'm so excited to listen.

[C]

Yeah, same.

[A]

I'm a big fan of your work.

[C]

So, Casey, I'm so excited to listen. And I'm where. I'm where I get my podcasts and two more times with that name of the show. Oh, Ado that show is called G U T T E R Gutter.

[B]

Gutter.

[C]

You can listen, like you said, wherever you get your podcasts or you can find us on any of the social media platforms as thatguttershow. And our website is Gutter Show. Check it out. I think you'll dig it.

[B]

And Casey, I love that theme. Do my ears deceive? Was that an Arnie Parrott original?

[C]

It wasn't actually.

[B]

I know, I know. We'll get you his number.

[A]

We'll get you his number though.

[B]

Just for next time. If you're thinking about doing a podcast and you kind of like, if you want like a theme, like, don't worry, it doesn't have to be for this time. For this time it's fine. But like I have his number. Just ask me for it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah. Casey, congratulations. Thank you.

[B]

I also want to plug. While I'm plugging things, I'd like to plug World News Tonight. You can watch World news tonight at IO. It's every Saturday night at 8pm you can get tickets on the IO website, but come out sometime in December. Maybe I should be there at a lot of shows in December now that my leg is healed up. Hopefully I'm back on the stage. But yeah, come to see a World News Tonight show if you are in Chicago. What else? What else? Oh, we can also read a review, a five star review if you want to get one featured on the show. Just leave us a five star review anywhere that you leave reviews. This one's coming from K Cola 4 and it says sleepover. So Casey, Tony came to a sleepover at my ex stepdad's house. He brought an armful of fireworks but nothing to sleep in or on. He started yelling Ronald Reagan was right. And jammed five Roman candles in the ground, then lit them before running through them like those agility courses for dogs. He proceeded to chug a gallon of Baja Blast, eat a bowl of Kakyo E Pepe and creep into bed with my ex stepfather. Casey didn't even go under the blankets. He just curled into a ball at the foot of the bed. He didn't wake up for two days and we started to become awfully concerned about his health. At hour 42 he popped up and said, see you guys at Walmart. And left. Weirdest sleepover ever. I hope he's okay. Casey, what the fuck is going on?

[A]

That sounds like Casey. That sounds like Casey.

[C]

Casey. Casey, do you have anything to say for yourself? I'm not okay.

[A]

Yeah, we knew.

[B]

Ugh.

[A]

We knew we're sad, Aaron.

[C]

We should banish him somewhere.

[A]

Jupiter probably. Yeah.

[B]

Rip. To Alexander Lukashenko, the leader of Belarus. What a run. But yeah, past passed away ripe age of however old he was.

[C]

Well, in good news, I've already secured Prince Edward Island I by myself. I'm here. So send the choppers.

[B]

Logo created by Emily Cardamus and Emily. Hey there circuits and cities. If you like that, you are going to love this week's Patreon. We take you back to the first Black Friday. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com hey, Riddle Riddle by joining the clue crew for $5 a month or start your seven day free trial or the review crew for $8 a month. Plus we got those ad free episodes. See you there.

[C]

That was a Headgum podcast.