#343: Promise Not to Laugh

Summary

Podcast Summary: Hey Riddle Riddle #343: Promise Not to Laugh

Episode Overview

In episode #343 of "Hey Riddle Riddle," titled "Promise Not to Laugh," hosts Adal Rifai, Erin Keif, and John Patrick Coan venture into a blend of improvisational comedy, personal anecdotes, and interactive challenges. Diverging slightly from their typical riddle-solving format, this episode emphasizes humor and camaraderie, challenging both themselves and their listeners to maintain composure without succumbing to laughter.

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1. Opening Banter and Setting the Tone (00:01 – 01:59)

The episode begins with the hosts engaging in light-hearted banter about Bombas, their sock and clothing sponsor. This segment serves as a brief and humorous introduction before delving into the main content.

• Quote [00:09] - Adol Refai: "Bombas are so absurdly comfortable."

• Quote [00:16] - Adol Refai: "And I really love my Bombas."

Despite the sponsorship, the hosts quickly transition to their characteristic playful dialogue, establishing a relaxed and comedic atmosphere.

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2. Mock Museum Tour and Improvisational Jokes (01:07 – 06:00)

The hosts embark on a fictional tour of the "Hey Riddle Riddle Museum," a setup that allows for improvisational jokes and interactions.

• Quote [01:07] - Aaron Keefe: "Thank you so much for coming to the hey, Riddle. Riddle Museum. Are you a school group? Are you on vacation? What brought you in here today?"

• Quote [02:07] - JPC: "What movie is that from?"

This segment showcases the hosts' ability to create humorous scenarios on the fly, setting the stage for the episode's theme of resisting laughter amidst comedic chaos.

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3. Reflections on Communication and Personal Challenges (07:00 – 12:00)

The conversation shifts towards personal struggles with communication, particularly focusing on Aaron Keefe's anxiety related to constant texting.

• Quote [09:15] - Aaron Keefe: "I will respond to texts every two or three days because every single person in my life, I attract a certain type of person that loves to text...I have a ton of anxiety."

• Quote [10:06] - JPC: "Why don't we do this? This is fun. Let's get a shared Google calendar."

This candid discussion provides listeners with insights into the hosts' personal lives, highlighting the pressures of modern communication and mental health.

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4. Introducing Riddles and Wordplay Challenges (12:00 – 16:00)

Re-engaging with the podcast's core theme, the hosts introduce a series of riddles inspired by wordplay, where changing vowels alter the meaning of words.

• Quote [13:44] - JPC: "Okay."

• Quote [23:22] - Adol Refai: "Funko Pop."

Despite their initial enthusiasm, the hosts humorously struggle to articulate the riddles, intertwining jokes and playful frustration.

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5. Improvisational Scenes and Humor (16:00 – 35:00)

The episode delves deeper into improvisational comedy, with the hosts creating fictional scenarios that blend humor with absurdity.

• Quote [28:07] - Aaron Keefe: "Shut up, you guys. My Internet was not rushing this morning. I had a whole other episode I was planning on doing and then it threw me for such a loop and I burst into tears and I went, I don't know if I can do it."

• Quote [35:32] - Adol Refai: "I guarantee you they probably in Top Gun Maverick. They probably cast like Sydney Sweeney."

These improvs highlight the hosts' comedic chemistry and their ability to maintain humor even when navigating personal vulnerabilities.

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6. Advanced Riddles and Continued Wordplay (35:00 – 45:00)

The hosts attempt more complex riddles, incorporating pop culture references and intricate wordplay.

• Quote [54:33] - Adol Refai: "So, JPC, you would know best. Who was on Hoth? Was that Jabba? Was that the Sarlock pit? Was that Boba?"

• Quote [55:08] - Adol Refai: "Rin. Tin. Tin. Tan. Taunton tin ton. Tan, tin."

Despite their efforts, the riddles remain enmeshed within their comedic exchanges, creating a dynamic yet chaotic problem-solving environment.

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7. Interactive Improv and Scene Development (45:00 – 60:00)

The hosts engage in detailed improvisational scenes, blending fictional narratives with comedic twists.

• Quote [52:42] - Adol Refai: "Get yourself something, you know."

• Quote [60:30] - Adol Refai: "A bish bitch itch. A butch bitch batch."

These scenes showcase the hosts' creativity and their knack for sustaining humor through elaborate storytelling.

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8. Closing Improvs and Final Thoughts (60:00 – 69:35)

As the episode winds down, the hosts continue with improvs, tying together the theme of resisting laughter amidst ongoing comedic scenarios.

• Quote [65:53] - Aaron Keefe: "Right to the front of the line. Tell us what you want to plug my guy."

• Quote [68:52] - Aaron Keefe: "Yeah, in the first one. And then she was too old to be in the second one. Get out of here."

The episode concludes with reflections on their performances and the inherent challenges of maintaining composure, aligning with the episode's "Promise Not to Laugh" premise.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Aaron Keefe [09:15]: "I will respond to texts every two or three days because every single person in my life, I attract a certain type of person that loves to text...I have a ton of anxiety."

• JPC [28:07]: "Shut up, you guys. My Internet was not rushing this morning..."

• Adol Rifai [20:13]: "Instead of just saying, just say Zork."

• Aaron Keefe [23:22]: "A bunch of different direct, one to one. Yeah, obviously. All right, I'll take it."

• Aaron Keefe [52:42]: "Get yourself something, you know."

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Conclusion

"Hey Riddle Riddle" episode #343, "Promise Not to Laugh," offers listeners a unique blend of improvisational comedy, personal reflections, and interactive challenges. The hosts' ability to seamlessly weave humor with candid discussions provides an engaging and entertaining listening experience. While veering away from traditional riddles, the episode reinforces the show's commitment to wit and humor, making it a delightful addition to their podcast repertoire.

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Note: This summary intentionally omits direct references to advertisements and promotional segments in accordance with the user's instructions, focusing instead on the episode's core content and interactions among the hosts.

Transcript

[Aaron Keefe]

This is a Headgun podcast. Bombas makes the most comfortable socks, underwear, and T shirts.

[Adol Refai]

Bombas are so absurdly comfortable.

[JPC]

You may throw out all your other clothes.

[Aaron Keefe]

Sorry, do we legally have to say that?

[JPC]

No, this is just how I talk.

[Adol Refai]

And I really love my Bombas.

[Aaron Keefe]

They do feel that good. And they do good too. One item purchased equals one item donated.

[JPC]

To feel good and do good, go.

[Adol Refai]

To bombas.com wondry and use code wondry for 20% off your first purchase.

[JPC]

That's B O m b a s.com and use code Wondry at checkout. The doctor was the mother. He stood on a block of ice. Both of them were goldfish. It was the cabin of an airplane. He stabbed him with an ice away. And the horses came.

[Adol Refai]

Right.

[Aaron Keefe]

Thank you so much for coming to the hey, Riddle. Riddle Museum. Are you a school group? Are you on vacation? What brought you in here today?

[JPC]

No, we're just dressed in school girl outfits, but we are not affiliated with. Great question.

[Aaron Keefe]

Ah, perverts. Oh, we get a lot of those in here.

[Adol Refai]

Ashante.

[Aaron Keefe]

Well, thank you so much for coming in. A tour is about to start, if you want to join in. But to run a tour?

[Adol Refai]

Are you the docent?

[Aaron Keefe]

What is a docent?

[Adol Refai]

It's not quite a dog. It's not quite Al Pacino.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, it's a dachshund. Like a dog with little legs.

[JPC]

Well, let him guess. Even though he's the one that mentioned it. Let him guess.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, it's sort of a guide for the museum. Like a person who kind of shows you around. But I didn't want to docent explain to the docent. If you're the docent.

[Aaron Keefe]

I am the docent. Then I'm about to give a tour. Then I must be a docent.

[JPC]

What movie is that from?

[Adol Refai]

Captain Docent.

[Aaron Keefe]

Castaway.

[JPC]

Yes.

[Aaron Keefe]

So to your left is the. Sorry.

[Adol Refai]

Everything you own in the backs.

[Aaron Keefe]

To the left is a framed photo.

[Adol Refai]

You're kissing your tits and blowing kisses my way. Or whatever the song says.

[JPC]

Or whatever the song says.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, I'm sorry. Did you go on the I Don't want to learn anything tour?

[Adol Refai]

Oh.

[JPC]

Oh, Is that an option?

[Adol Refai]

Sorry.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, we get a lot of that around here at hey, Rhythm Rebel.

[JPC]

Yeah, I feel like I'll always take that option if it's available.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, okay. That's fine.

[JPC]

It's like a kosher meal. I don't need it, but I want it.

[Adol Refai]

Does Christina Aguilera say you're kissing your tits and blowing kisses my way? Are those the lyrics that can't be right.

[Aaron Keefe]

We here at Haverillore.

[JPC]

Can you look it up in your pocket or do you have, like a guidebook or something for the king? You could look that up.

[Aaron Keefe]

We actually are banned from Googling right now here at the museum. Well, I was going to start with the beginning, the sort of framed email. First docent, a female docent, to start at the very beginning. A very good place to start.

[Adol Refai]

I've literally turned around this whole not.

[Aaron Keefe]

Knowing what a docent is, you know, okay, I'm just gonna shut this whole museum down. Takes down the email of our first. Scheduling of the first episode. Takes Janet out of her box, lets her free. All right, you know, it's fine.

[JPC]

Captivity.

[Adol Refai]

I want to pull the cord on the Janet.

[Aaron Keefe]

It's fine. Let's just do an episode of hey, Riddle, Riddle. Let's not dwell on the past of this show and how it started in 2018 when I was 25 years old and I had special episode.

[JPC]

What do we.

[Aaron Keefe]

Why would it never is a special episode?

[JPC]

Well, you're just like. You're reminiscing about the past. I'm not.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm saying let's throw the whole museum away.

[JPC]

But you wanted to.

[Aaron Keefe]

I mean, I just thought it would be interesting to talk about how this show started when I was a young gun, sort of with my whole life ahead of me. I guess that's not interesting to talk about how I was young once, with my whole life ahead of me.

[Adol Refai]

You sort of looked wistfully up and to the left. I thought you were gonna take us down memory lane, but then you kind of darted your eyes right back to us, and we didn't know what to say.

[JPC]

Aaron, if you add 50 years to your age, you are going to be this classic Hollywood archetype. You're going to be wearing, like, ball gowns, talking about how, oh, when I was in my prime, before my riddle podcast days.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, Aaron, you are good.

[JPC]

You boys. I bet you have to get to your deployment soon.

[Adol Refai]

You are going to be. Mark my words, you are going to be the podcast world's Elizabeth Taylor. Glamorous. Glamorous as all get out. Six to seven ex husbands.

[Aaron Keefe]

Eight. Maybe eight.

[Adol Refai]

Maybe eight.

[Aaron Keefe]

Six to seven. I want dream bigger. Do I want to be the podcast world's Elizabeth Taylor?

[JPC]

Aaron, she really lost love. Never find love.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, my God.

[JPC]

Because that's what you said you wanted.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah. Well, so what's interesting. Let's see, let's see, let's see, let's see, let's see, let's See, would I want that? Do I want people sort of buying my necklaces at auction? Sort of my cheap necklaces, sort of.

[JPC]

Buying my necklaces at auction?

[Aaron Keefe]

Do I want to marry Richard Burton, divorce him and then marry him again? Of course. Do I want to win an Oscar for who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? Obviously. Do I want to win?

[Adol Refai]

I'm taking this very literally.

[Aaron Keefe]

A bunch of different direct, one to one. Yeah, obviously. All right, I'll take it. I'll be the Elizabeth Taylor of the podcast world. Thank you, Adol. I'll actually, it sounds like you'll just.

[JPC]

Be Elizabeth Taylor, but you'll also do a podcast.

[Aaron Keefe]

And then what does.

[JPC]

Then.

[Aaron Keefe]

What else does it mean then?

[JPC]

I don't know. It's your fantasy.

[Adol Refai]

During America's worst disaster, you, Michael Jackson and Marlon Brando will get in a car and drive to Syracuse or whatever they did.

[Aaron Keefe]

I don't know what that is. What's a dust bowl?

[JPC]

Dust bowl. Was that during the dust bowl.

[Adol Refai]

There was an event in 2001. I don't need to get into it. But that day, apparently Michael Jackson, Elizabeth Taylor and Marlon Brando all panicked and kind of thought that the us was gonna. That there was more to it, and they all got in a car and tried to drive to the countryside or something.

[Aaron Keefe]

Somewhere right now, a 24 year old is writing that play. If you listen, you clear your mind and you listen. You can hear a 24 year old at a coffee shop right now writing that play.

[JPC]

If you close your eyes and just listen ever so slightly, you can hear the reviews being typed out in the New York Times when that play opens. Of the most unwatchable play ever to grace the boards.

[Adol Refai]

Rehearsals is just one of the three being like, should I do the impression or should I. Can I just talk normal?

[Aaron Keefe]

So I'm going. So, guys, how are you? Because last we checked in, we were all together in person.

[JPC]

Well, actually, I don't necessarily know that we spent any time together in person the last time we checked in.

[Aaron Keefe]

Well, we saw each other in person. We did a show together.

[JPC]

We did see each other and we did do a show together. And I think that that was the extent of it. It turns out that due to everyone's different sleep schedules and Erin's different whatever she's got going on schedule. All I know is that I was in San Francisco for like two days and I saw you guys for an hour when we did our show.

[Aaron Keefe]

Well, that's not necessarily true because way more time. We saw a show today.

[JPC]

Your friend Michael and Adel's wife. I spent a ton of time with those two people. I don't know. I don't know that I saw the two of you at all.

[Aaron Keefe]

Well, we sent our representatives to hang out with you.

[Adol Refai]

Gemma.

[Aaron Keefe]

Jpc. We saw a show together.

[JPC]

Oh, that's right. We did see a show together.

[Aaron Keefe]

And we ordered her.

[JPC]

Aaron was on her phone the whole time.

[Aaron Keefe]

No, I wasn't.

[Adol Refai]

Wow.

[Aaron Keefe]

You were on your phone ordering Indian food. Whoa.

[Adol Refai]

Double, double cross. Double Double cross.

[JPC]

You. I order it for you, Mom.

[Aaron Keefe]

And you.

[JPC]

And twins.

[Aaron Keefe]

And twins. Whatever. So I guess I did.

[JPC]

I did. To blow up Aaron's spot. I did commiserate with her friend Michael because we were both talking and Aaron was on her phone doing something, and we were both like, isn't it strange to see Erin on her phone so much, yet you can't get her to text you back?

[Aaron Keefe]

And then I showed you how many.

[JPC]

Texts that I have, and it ruined my night. That was actually the worst part.

[Aaron Keefe]

I was looking up something for us, by the way. When I was on my phone, I was looking up something for the group and then they were coming after me.

[JPC]

Sure.

[Aaron Keefe]

But here's. This is my new process, and it's going actually so well.

[JPC]

I cannot wait to hear about the new process.

[Aaron Keefe]

I will not respond because it was driving me fucking insane to be so constantly available, because I have.

[JPC]

And when was this? At what point in your life were you constantly available? I just wish I would have known you at that time so I could take. I could have taken advantage.

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay, so.

[JPC]

Okay. So there was a time in your life when you were super available?

[Aaron Keefe]

No. Well, I felt the pressure to be super available.

[JPC]

You felt the pressure? Oh, it's so much different to feel the pressure.

[Aaron Keefe]

I will respond to texts every two or three days because every single person in my life, I attract a certain type of person that loves to text. Okay. Which is great. I don't love that. It makes me feel overwhelmed. I feel it makes me. Causes me a ton of anxiety. So I will. Every two days, I will sit down with a tea and I will go through all my texts and I will respond to all of them. But I just think it's unreasonable.

[JPC]

Texting, Tea, Text and tea.

[Adol Refai]

T Mobile.

[JPC]

Text and tea.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yes. I have, like, these group chats, like gpc. One of those things was a group chat. Like, a hundred of those text messages were group chat just from like 36 hours. Like, that is the level of texting. And so I'm like, I don't. I cannot be constantly.

[JPC]

Why don't we do this? This is fun. Let's get a shared Google calendar.

[Aaron Keefe]

We have that.

[JPC]

Well, no, we don't, but I love that for you.

[Aaron Keefe]

No, we.

[JPC]

Yes, I invite you to some Google events. That's not the same thing, but. So let's get a shared Google calendar.

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay.

[JPC]

You tell me when your text and tea times are. I get them on the block and I know great. If I need Aaron, boom. I can hit her during text and tea and I'm probably gonna get something back.

[Aaron Keefe]

I love that you made a fun name for it.

[JPC]

Adol made it.

[Adol Refai]

Texting T. No, it's fine.

[Aaron Keefe]

Texting Tea.

[Adol Refai]

It's fine.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, Adol. I didn't even hear you make it. Adel.

[Adol Refai]

That's okay.

[Aaron Keefe]

You're a vip. Call me anytime, baby.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, all right.

[JPC]

What the fuck?

[Aaron Keefe]

Right to the front of the line.

[Adol Refai]

Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me, folks. I actually know. I know Aaron. Sorry, excuse me.

[JPC]

I know Aaron.

[Aaron Keefe]

Everybody's trying to get to the front of the line. Everybody knows Aaron. If you have my number, you know me.

[Adol Refai]

Ha. This line is just 40 people standing shoulder to shoulder. It's not. We're sort of abreast versus deep. This sucks.

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay.

[JPC]

People don't know how to queue. That's a big problem. People just don't know how to queue anymore.

[Aaron Keefe]

Jpc, I care about you a lot and you matter to me.

[JPC]

I appreciate that.

[Aaron Keefe]

And I'm not so above taking a note. I want to do better for you every day.

[JPC]

Aaron, you matter to me as well. I've got a couple of emails that you haven't responded to yet.

[Aaron Keefe]

I know, and I will.

[JPC]

And I'd love to get you. And I'd love to text and T. Baby, Whatever text and T is coming up, I'd love.

[Aaron Keefe]

Hey, it's happening today and I'll show you. These are the things that I have to get done today.

[JPC]

You have to.

[Aaron Keefe]

It's just like you have to.

[JPC]

What can we get done today? That's what I'm all about.

[Aaron Keefe]

Respond to JPC is right there.

[JPC]

That's in the middle. That's not bad.

[Adol Refai]

Rsvpjpc. Rsvpc.

[JPC]

I probably didn't make it above brushed teeth, but I'm definitely close eyes. Go to drift off to dreamland. I love the middle.

[Aaron Keefe]

The other stuff is like really crazy, urgent stuff. So you're like on the stuff that is like very, very important. You're top of the list.

[Adol Refai]

Can we hear one of the urgent ones?

[Aaron Keefe]

Skin stuff or kill Adel with my hands is number one.

[Adol Refai]

Come On. It's gonna be a long process.

[JPC]

Yeah. This guy. This guy loves life. He's got a real joie de vivre.

[Adol Refai]

I got a real thick neck. You're not gonna be able to choke me out.

[Aaron Keefe]

Who said I was gonna use your neck? I'm gonna punch you in the stomach.

[Adol Refai]

Houdini style.

[Aaron Keefe]

Houdini style.

[JPC]

Wow.

[Aaron Keefe]

Well, guys, unfortunately. And you're not going to believe this, this is a riddle podcast.

[JPC]

Sure, I believe that.

[Aaron Keefe]

I think we should do some riddles, puzzles, lateral thinking problems. What do you think?

[JPC]

I do to think that as well.

[Adol Refai]

I'd sign off on that.

[Aaron Keefe]

Fantastic. Is everyone mad at me? Doesn't matter.

[JPC]

Is that the first riddle?

[Aaron Keefe]

Doesn't matter. Actually, it's fine. Okay. These first riddles are from Lizzy T. And they. Lizzy has a very cool job. I spend a lot of time listening to you while I do my work as a scenic artist, AKA a person who paints sets for theater, which is so cool. That's amazing. Lizzie was doing the New York Times crossword the other day, and they had a few clues that trapped my brain into thinking about these little puzzles. They're kind of like if Hank Pinks were word avalanches. Essentially, it's a series of usually three words that are spelled the same, but one vowel changes each time. There are some that I've come up with as well, of greatly varying quality. Feel free to pick and choose.

[JPC]

Okay.

[Aaron Keefe]

Thanks, Lizzy.

[Adol Refai]

Thank you, Lizzy. Aaron, can I ask you something?

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, sure, anything.

[Adol Refai]

I've had a really weird.

[Aaron Keefe]

You're a vip.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, very good. Excuse me. Sorry. Let me just step in front of jpc. I've had a dream. Maybe for peeing. Oh, you're pissing on jokes on, you asshole. Pissing on the back of my thighs. Whatever that area is called.

[Aaron Keefe]

You guys do this.

[Adol Refai]

Get a room, I guess. I've had a dream for a few years, Aaron. And I'm embarrassed to say it, but I feel like this is a safe space. And I feel like if anyone will get me and this idea, it's you.

[Aaron Keefe]

You and me. Adel, we're locked in.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, good, good.

[Aaron Keefe]

You and me, Kid Goose and Maverick.

[Adol Refai]

Baby, baby, one of us is not long for this world. I have a. I have this idea. I don't want to say I have a dream. I have this idea where I get a. A theater designer, a set designer to go into my bedroom, okay. And make it like you put black boxes down. It's hard. It's black wood and there's like pieces of tape around the bedroom, There's a proscenium painted. There's like, fake windows. Like, make your bedroom like the set of a play.

[Aaron Keefe]

And how. How quickly are you trying to get divorced?

[Adol Refai]

Well, the bed is four to six months.

[Aaron Keefe]

I think you have a big enough house that you could have. It doesn't even have to be your bedroom. Metal.

[Adol Refai]

Okay. All right.

[JPC]

Now, this may be a silly question. Why do you want this cjpc?

[Aaron Keefe]

You're not locked in. You're not Goose and Maverick with us. You don't get it.

[JPC]

I'm Iceman. I'm still in the movie. I just maybe am kind of an antagonist, I guess.

[Adol Refai]

Gun to my head. Something has to change.

[JPC]

Something has to change for sure.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Adol Refai]

Something has to change versus it being internal. I prefer it to be something I can just pay that someone else does.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah. I'm not trying to talk you out of this, but in my home growing up in the basement, there is this storage thing that was essentially a stage.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah.

[Aaron Keefe]

And we used to do a ton of plays on it. And literally there was, like, lights facing it, and we'd put up curtains, and my sister would direct me a little plays and we would put on plays and we'd do SNL bits and we'd do Monty Python bits. And I've ended. Now I'm on a riddle podcast and I have to sit down every three days in response to texts because of my mental health. Do you want potential kids, cats, whoever's in your home ending up like me? If you have a stage in your house, you're gonna end up with a kid with a personality like Aaron Keefe.

[Adol Refai]

Cats, yes. Kids, no. And I don't want that. I hope that doesn't insult you, Aaron. I wouldn't wish your life on two of my cats.

[Aaron Keefe]

Here's the thing, my life is amazing. It's just that JPC doesn't like any choice that I've ever made. Not even one time.

[JPC]

I disagree that your life is amazing.

[Aaron Keefe]

I think it's incredible.

[JPC]

From what I can observe.

[Aaron Keefe]

Do I have. Am I accident prone? Sure. Am I pissing you off? Constantly, obviously.

[Adol Refai]

Did you just join the Pixar family?

[Aaron Keefe]

Yes. And I can talk about it. Like, I can say anything about it now. Kind of very freeing. For four years, I've been terrified.

[JPC]

Aaron, your life is amazing. Correct. That's what you're saying. Your life is amazing.

[Aaron Keefe]

My life is amazing.

[JPC]

Text from you not 30 minutes ago when you were 20 minutes late to this episode.

[Aaron Keefe]

What? Because my Internet goes out?

[JPC]

Is it possible to Trade somebody to be old man puzzles. I can do it if I have to, but I feel like I'm a puddle now. I don't know too much about amazing lives, but there's only one person who has an amazing life who could turn into a puddle, and that's Alex goddamn Mack.

[Adol Refai]

Alex Mack.

[Aaron Keefe]

And my life is incredible.

[JPC]

I love you, but Alex Mac, you are not.

[Aaron Keefe]

I. Okay. I have an awesome dog, right? Incredible. My family, amazing friends.

[JPC]

Text from Aaron Keith 40 minutes ago. I'm losing my mind. I feel like I'm going insane, you guys. Two text review from today.

[Aaron Keefe]

I. This is what's been so frustrating. My Internet goes out maybe three times a day in a with absolutely no warning. And it is so crazy because yesterday I had a really important meeting that I was so scared for and was so paranoid that the Internet was going to go out. And lo and behold, right in the middle of it, it went out. And then I'm like, on the verge of tears when I get back to the meeting eventually, it's like such a nightmare. I've had to download the TV shows I want to watch onto my iPad because I'll be in the middle of watching a fucking movie and the Internet goes out. It is no way to live. It is no way to live if.

[JPC]

You'Re Alex Mac's dermatologist. Do you think that, you know, like, can you tell that she can turn into a puddle?

[Aaron Keefe]

Here's the other thing. My life is actually perfect. It's just this little shit, okay? Everything else is great. Beautiful dog, beautiful family, perfect friends. My life is. I get to do comedy all the time. I'm seeing someone amazing. He's so funny and he's so nice. Everything's fine. Let's do these riddles from Lizzie.

[Adol Refai]

Yay. So no on the theater room.

[Aaron Keefe]

What do you mean, Adol. What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean, no? What do you mean, no on the.

[JPC]

Theater room, I think do it.

[Aaron Keefe]

What do you mean, no? What do you mean, no?

[Adol Refai]

Well, the first thing you said was, how much do you want to divorce? Or whatever.

[Aaron Keefe]

What do you mean, no? You guys, I'm actually so fine. And aren't you proud of me for coming? I splash cold water on my face. I was crying the second my Internet cut out.

[JPC]

Aren't you proud of me for coming, Aaron? Beyond that for me, Casey, I don't need. I'm not doing anything with it. But do clip that for me, please.

[Adol Refai]

Aaron, be honest at first. Did you accidentally splash your face with, like, Windex or something.

[Aaron Keefe]

Ha ha, ha, ha ha. Aaron's a mess. You know what?

[JPC]

Because your face is sparkling adult Adolf. You'd think that, but that's not actually the way that Windex works. She splashed Windex on her mirror and then smashed her face into the mirror.

[Adol Refai]

Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, the guy that.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm going, I'm such a mess. Can you believe how much of it? And he goes, you really seem to have a lot together. And then I go, you know who would laugh out loud of that? Adeline. Jpc. Can I tell you what, you guys?

[JPC]

I would never laugh at a person who had a mental deficiency. Aaron. I would never do that.

[Adol Refai]

Excuse me, VIP Excuse me, VIP Aaron, do you mind if, for the rest of. Until. Whenever you're comfortable, can we just call him Zork?

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, yeah, Zork, the guy.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, yeah, sure.

[Adol Refai]

Instead of just saying, just say Zork.

[JPC]

Zork.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah. Okay. Thank you.

[Aaron Keefe]

This is. I was like, I actually think he'll love that.

[JPC]

Is that actually going to get confusing? Because Adel and I just agreed this week, and we're going to start calling our wives Zork.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, it's fine.

[Adol Refai]

Well, hold on. Things can be zork, and there is a zork. So in the new language we're creating, yeah, you can be zork, but you can also be a zork.

[Aaron Keefe]

You guys, we can't. We're. We're getting.

[JPC]

Aaron, you're giving Zork.

[Aaron Keefe]

All right, we're having.

[Adol Refai]

And this is getting. You're making this confusing.

[Aaron Keefe]

You know, if anyone's a youngest sibling, you'll understand this. Every time I go home to Massachusetts, I still feel like my sisters think I am 11, right? Like they. I'm frozen in time for them, and they'll never take me seriously. And the second I get home, I'm like, take me seriously and laugh at my jokes. Like, I regress immediately because I have been such a mess right in my whole life in front of you guys. I feel sort of. And I know today I was also a mess, but I feel frozen in time with you guys a little bit.

[JPC]

Sure.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah.

[Aaron Keefe]

You need to see to the outside world.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah.

[Aaron Keefe]

My. I work very, very hard. My career. On my career, I. I try to take care of other people. I pay rent alone in Los Angeles, and I have a dog alone. Right.

[JPC]

I'm getting alone pretty hard.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm fine.

[Adol Refai]

What about Zork?

[Aaron Keefe]

Zork is great.

[Adol Refai]

If Zork's great, he probably feels pretty Zork.

[JPC]

Aaron, what did I tell you this morning. I told you I could fix your entire life in two days.

[Aaron Keefe]

I know. And I said go for it.

[JPC]

And I'm ready. I'm ready.

[Aaron Keefe]

I actually. Yeah, go ahead.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, please.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, no, I actually. I'm open to that. Jpc.

[JPC]

I'm going to talk to Zork. I'm going to get Zork to put a wedding ring on that finger. First off. Ooh. I'm going to get Zork to lock it down. Do the right thing, Zork.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm begging you to not do this.

[JPC]

I'm begging you to do the right thing.

[Aaron Keefe]

But see each other three months.

[Adol Refai]

But be ethical and get a cubic zirconia or whatever.

[JPC]

Zirconia.

[Adol Refai]

Whatever makes sense. Whatever makes sense.

[JPC]

Cubic zirconium. What kind of riddles.

[Aaron Keefe]

I know. And I'm trying. I'm trying.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, very quickly, Aaron. You said Massachusetts. Did you guys hear that Bill Burr and Billy Corrigan are brothers?

[Aaron Keefe]

Snide comment about collectible figurine.

[Adol Refai]

And Bill Burr is pissed. Sorry, Aaron. Go ahead.

[Aaron Keefe]

Snide comment about collectible figurine.

[JPC]

Toy, Snoy.

[Adol Refai]

Ooh, Poi polloi.

[JPC]

The vowel changes.

[Aaron Keefe]

The vowel changes.

[JPC]

Okay.

[Adol Refai]

Toy. Joy.

[Aaron Keefe]

But it's not necessarily. The words aren't necessarily in the order in which I'm giving the clues.

[JPC]

Got it.

[Aaron Keefe]

So, snide comment about a collectible figurine.

[Adol Refai]

Could this one be the example?

[Aaron Keefe]

Sure. And this one's kind of hard.

[JPC]

Snape. Snoop.

[Aaron Keefe]

But the collectible figurine is two words and the snide comment is one word.

[Adol Refai]

Action figure.

[Aaron Keefe]

Collectible figurine.

[JPC]

Then make this the example, because I don't know what the fuck we're talking about.

[Adol Refai]

Funko Pop.

[Aaron Keefe]

No. So the collectible figurine is the same word twice, but a different vowel in it.

[Adol Refai]

G.I. joJo. G.I. joe. Slow mo. G.I. slow mo.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'll make this the example.

[Adol Refai]

Aaron, I'm drowning.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Aaron Keefe]

Nick. Knack knock.

[Adol Refai]

Huh?

[Aaron Keefe]

Like collectible figurine, knick knack, and then snide comment, knock.

[JPC]

Okay, got it. Knick, knock, knock. Okay.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, boy.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Adol Refai]

Okay. Sorry. Let me put my seatbelt on.

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay. I'm sorry. You guys begged for riddles. You were begging for riddles a second ago.

[JPC]

Damn. Was I?

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm fine, by the way. Everybody.

[Adol Refai]

Aaron, honestly, did you hear that Billy Corgan and Bill Burr are brothers? Isn't that insane?

[Aaron Keefe]

I didn't know this. I. I thought we weren't gonna learn today.

[JPC]

This feels. This feels like a setup to a street joke. This feels like I'm gonna be like, how do they figure that out? Like, the punchline's gonna be, like, smashing Boston's.

[Aaron Keefe]

Or I would like to see a scene. JPC and adol, you are roommates. And adol, you're coming home from, like, a vacation. And jpc, you've accidentally ruined all of adol's very expensive collectible figurines, and you're trying to just sort of smooth things over.

[Adol Refai]

Zork, I'm home.

[JPC]

Hey, Mark.

[Adol Refai]

Hey.

[JPC]

Can I. Can I grab your bags? Can I take your bags?

[Adol Refai]

Oh, I will just float them up to the attic where I store my stuff. Oh, time to go play with my figures.

[Aaron Keefe]

Hmm.

[JPC]

Um, God, you've been gone for. You've been gone for, like.

[Adol Refai]

God is dead.

[JPC]

Huh?

[Adol Refai]

God is dead?

[JPC]

Yeah. You're God. Yeah. You've been gone for a week.

[Adol Refai]

Mm. I was in Las Vegas.

[JPC]

Yes, we. How'd you do?

[Adol Refai]

I was up and then down and then up and then down, and that was just in bed. Ha ha ha ha.

[JPC]

Oh. Sounds like you fucked. Well, speaking of up and down, I bet you probably didn't hear about the big earthquake we had.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, no. I try to keep my telecommunications to advise me for all natural disasters.

[JPC]

Telecommunications. Phone calls.

[Adol Refai]

Okay.

[JPC]

Yeah, we just say phone calls. Anyway, yeah, there's a big earthquake. I haven't even. I honestly have not even been upstairs because you said, don't go in your room because that's where all of your stuff is. Oh, no.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh.

[JPC]

But, yeah, a lot of the stuff has got pretty broken.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, my bird skeletons. Grabs onto the fire pole, flies upward. Oh, no.

[JPC]

Oh, no. I'll meet you up there. I can't really ruin all.

[Adol Refai]

It's all ruined.

[JPC]

Oh, no. Whoa. Look at. Oh, my God. The earthquake seemed to hit all your bird skeletons.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, and they're covered in fingerprints with peanut butter. Oh.

[JPC]

Oh, you know what? Yes, they are. Yes.

[Adol Refai]

Can I see your hands?

[JPC]

Well, no, you've been standing with your.

[Adol Refai]

Hands behind your back like a Southern lawyer. Please, just put your hands forward.

[JPC]

It's for law school. I have to do it this way. You know what it was is that the. The first place that the firefighters came after, you know, to investigate. They came from the peanut butter factory, which had also. The earthquake hit the peanut butter factory pretty hard. So the firefighters probably came in and probably tracked all this peanut butter. All of your bird skeletons.

[Adol Refai]

Why would they touch the peanut butter? Doesn't make sense.

[JPC]

There were people trapped in there.

[Adol Refai]

Can peanut butter catch on fire? Let's try it.

[JPC]

It was an earthquake. Well, hold on, let's not go Burning.

[Adol Refai]

Peanut butter Taking your skin, Taking your skin.

[JPC]

I like Zork. He's an alien.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah, Zork's kind of fun.

[Aaron Keefe]

Zork Singer Parton when she's aimlessly wasting.

[Adol Refai]

Time Dolly lolly gagging Dolly lolly gagging Dolly lolly folly.

[Aaron Keefe]

It all begins with D. Dolly.

[JPC]

It all begins with D. Every kiss begins Dolly dally dilly dilly dally Dolly.

[Aaron Keefe]

Dilly dally Dolly dilly dilly Feeling of guilt after cheating at table tennis.

[Adol Refai]

Shame game. Shame.

[JPC]

Table tennis is.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, ping pong. Ping.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah. Fun Ping pong dog works, too.

[JPC]

I think I do want to see a scene. Oh, fuck. You got there first.

[Aaron Keefe]

You guys are playing ping pong, but you want the other one to win.

[JPC]

Okay, Aaron, that's good because my scene was going to be you as a doctor telling Adol that he had ping pong dong.

[Adol Refai]

I want to see that one now. Let's see that scene.

[Aaron Keefe]

I would rather die.

[Adol Refai]

Doctor. Doctor. What's wrong with me?

[Aaron Keefe]

Promise not to laugh. Okay. Faith. Doctor said.

[JPC]

Promise.

[Adol Refai]

Doctor.

[JPC]

Evan. Doctor said. You are going to kill me.

[Adol Refai]

I love the news is about me, but I can't laugh.

[JPC]

All right, hold on. Aaron, I wanted to do your scene. What was yours was you guys are.

[Aaron Keefe]

Playing ping pong and you want the other one to win.

[JPC]

Okay.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, it's. That's your. It's my serve. I think.

[JPC]

Yeah, I think it's your serve.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah, it's my serve.

[JPC]

Yeah. And what's the rule if I keep losing my racket, eventually I just don't get a racket. Right. Eventually I just have to use hand if I keep throwing.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah, I think you just use hand.

[JPC]

I think I'm on hand now then, because. Yeah, I cannot keep. I cannot keep. Okay, so it's your serve.

[Adol Refai]

Okay. Yeah. And let me.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, nerds. I missed the table. That's the point for you. You're crushing it.

[JPC]

Nut just continues to be your serve. Yeah. Oh, eventually you'll have to, you know, or maybe just lose the serve. And it's my point. Anyway, we've been doing this for about 20 minutes and no one scored a point. We just keep trading the serve back and forth. Why don't we cut the serve part out? Okay.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah, yeah. So how do we. How do we start? Maybe like. Like jump ball like they do in the NBA. Like a jump ball.

[JPC]

Let's do jump ball.

[Adol Refai]

Okay, so I'm gonna throw. Throw the ball straight up in the air over the net.

[JPC]

Okay.

[Adol Refai]

Obviously we're both gonna have to lean in real hard and make sort of a jump up and forward.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Adol Refai]

And then try and as we land, go backwards so we don't hit ourselves in the tummy with the table. Okay, here we go. So, yeah, it's like a 3, 2, 3, 2. Should I do like a 3, 2, 1 throw or three 2 or 3, 2 throw?

[JPC]

Three 2, 1, and then throw it up and then jump up. Yeah.

[Adol Refai]

Three, two. Oh, that's your point.

[JPC]

That's your point.

[Adol Refai]

That's your point.

[JPC]

It's your point.

[Adol Refai]

That's your point.

[Aaron Keefe]

Hey, guys, this is a painful watch, so I'm just gonna sort of.

[JPC]

Doctor. Doctor, can you do an exam? I think me and my friend both got ping pong dong after that.

[Aaron Keefe]

Well, that's very funny and I'm sure you do, but you're also sleeping with each other's wives, so let's just clear the air. And that's why this is happening. I'm gonna go get a smoothie.

[Adol Refai]

Fuck my zork. Say.

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay, here are the ones that Lizzie wrote. Are you ready?

[Adol Refai]

What were the previous ones?

[Aaron Keefe]

The New York Times ones?

[Adol Refai]

Oh, okay.

[Aaron Keefe]

Abnormally noisy timekeeping device.

[Adol Refai]

Clock. Watch. Smoch. Watch.

[Aaron Keefe]

Clock is right.

[Adol Refai]

Clock.

[Aaron Keefe]

And remember, it's the same word but you change the vowels. Clock.

[JPC]

Is it a click clack clock?

[Aaron Keefe]

A click clack clock. Wow. When you need to quickly get rid of meat based evidence.

[Adol Refai]

Mmm, Beef steak.

[Aaron Keefe]

This one's kind of hard. I think it's very good, though.

[Adol Refai]

Meat based evidence. Protein.

[JPC]

Okay, so are we looking for evidence?

[Aaron Keefe]

No, this is the. Evidence is kind of not the word that we're looking for. But when you're getting rid of dispose. Yeah. So one of them is like quickly, one of them is meat, and one of them is getting rid of toss.

[Adol Refai]

Dispose.

[Aaron Keefe]

This is probably the grossest word to use for meat.

[JPC]

Oh.

[Aaron Keefe]

Because you're like, ooh, that is what it is.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, flesh, flesh.

[Aaron Keefe]

So then you just change the vowels.

[Adol Refai]

Okay.

[Aaron Keefe]

And there's actually not that many.

[JPC]

Skin, Flush.

[Adol Refai]

Flesh.

[Aaron Keefe]

I think flesh is like.

[JPC]

Is flesh all of it? Yeah, yeah.

[Adol Refai]

Wait, flesh is all of it. What does that mean?

[JPC]

Well, flesh isn't just like skin, like bacon, right?

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, I can't Google.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, you're saying flesh. Yes, I said flush. Flesh.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah. And then. But there's one more. It's quick, quick.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, flash, flash, flush, flash, flush. Flesh.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah. Kind of. Kind of disgusting, huh, gang?

[JPC]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay, we're going to quickly get through the rest of these and then we're gonna take a break. Actually, let's Just take a break now, and then we'll get through them so we don't have to quickly get through them.

[JPC]

Hey, it's your party. Flush that flush.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah.

[JPC]

Ah. Oh, no.

[Aaron Keefe]

You want us to ask about whatever this is?

[Adol Refai]

What?

[JPC]

No, no, it's.

[Adol Refai]

I fell for it.

[JPC]

It's not. It's not what you guys think. I don't even. I have no actual problem with you whatsoever. My bones are picked clean. My problem is with myself.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, what happened?

[JPC]

You know how I signed up for that shirt of a day club?

[Adol Refai]

Shirt of the day?

[JPC]

Yeah. Shirt of the day club.

[Aaron Keefe]

That's like an expensive thing.

[JPC]

Yeah. But I was, like, sick of, like, washing clothes, so I was like, oh, I'll do like, a shirt. And like, the way that the shirt of the day club is supposed to work, it's like they send you the shirt, you wear the shirt all day. Your kind of natural, kind of like, body movement will dissolve the shirt by the end of the day.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah. Let me guess. You forgot you want. You did the one week trial and then you forgot to cancel it, and then now you've been paying a lot of money.

[JPC]

Yeah. And they haven't been dissolving, so I've just been kind of putting them over the old shirt and like, it's kind of dissolving, but basically, like, I basically wear like six or seven shirts right now. They kind of like, dissolve, like, way slower than their.

[Aaron Keefe]

Could you be wearing any more shirts?

[JPC]

Thank you, Aaron.

[Adol Refai]

Jpc, you should have gotten Rocket Money to help cancel that subscription. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwooded subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bill so you can grow your savings.

[JPC]

Okay, so I could grow my savings instead of growing how many shirts I'm wearing on my body as they slowly dissolve. Because they must be made of food.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah. And gpc. You're going to get alerts if bills increase in price, there's unusual spending activity, or if you're close to going over budget, which I'm sure you did with all of the shirts.

[JPC]

Yeah, each shirt is more expensive. They did make that pretty clear when I said that, that each shirt is to be like a compounding shirt cost because the shipping alone is killing me.

[Adol Refai]

And jpc, I don't know if you'll believe this, but Rocket Money has over 5 million users and has saved a total of 500 million in canceled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year when using all of the app's premium features. And I just Looked up your shirt subscription. It is $2.8 million a year.

[JPC]

Okay, so shirt of the day is a bad deal. If you are listening to this, do not use shirt of the day and cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney.com Riddle today. That's RocketMoney.com Riddle R I D D L E RocketMoney.com Riddle and tell them Shirt of the day. Wait, no, don't tell them that. Shirt of the day.

[Aaron Keefe]

I think the shirts are fusing to your skin. Jpc, let's get you to the hospital.

[JPC]

Okay.

[Aaron Keefe]

Jpc. A little too busy to talk. Also so hungry. But I don't want to eat fast food. Even though I'm so busy. But because fast food's going to make me feel sick and sort of tired and not feel me. Right. But I gotta keep going. I'm moving, I'm busy, I'm on the go. I'm having it all.

[JPC]

Aaron, busy and hungry. Shut up. I don't care about your problems. Wait, wait, wait. Hold on. Wait. What if there is a solution to your problems?

[Aaron Keefe]

That would be just as much that's better than telling Aaron to shut up.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah, Aaron, I'm not going to tell you to shut up. I'm going to tell you to tune in to Tempo. Tempo is a weekly delivery service that delivers chef crafted meals from a dietitian approved menu. Fresh to your door.

[JPC]

Yeah, Aaron. Tempo serves up fast, feel good single serving meals that are crafted to cook in just three minutes so you can eat well without sacrificing taste or convenience.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah, Aaron, here's the thing. Sometimes I get home and I'm like, I don't have time to cook. The thought of cutting and dicing and slicing and baking just sounds exhausting to me. So I open my fridge, I take out one of these Tempo meals. It is ready in minutes. The sweet and tangy chicken they have with roasted potatoes, peas and creamed corn. Phenomenal. The sweet chili meatballs with jasmine rice, edamame and broccoli. Delicious.

[Aaron Keefe]

That sounds so good.

[Adol Refai]

It's all pre portioned. It's all very quick to make. It's healthy. It's delicious, Aaron. It's what you need.

[JPC]

Wow. Adol. Shut up.

[Aaron Keefe]

Perfect. They also offer a variety of meals for different dietary and taste preferences including protein packed, calorie conscious, carb conscious and fiber rich.

[JPC]

I'm fiber rich, cash pour and for a limited time, shut up. Well, I have to, I. This is the part that I actually do have to say. For a limited time, Tempo is offering my listeners and tell them shapey sent you 60% off your first box. Go to Tempo meals.com riddle that's tempomeals.com riddle for 60% off your first box. Tempomeals.com riddle rules and restrictions may apply.

[Aaron Keefe]

This show is sponsored by BetterHelp.

[JPC]

Cold, cold, cold.

[Adol Refai]

It's freezing out here. What's going on?

[Aaron Keefe]

Ooh, guys, it's pretty cold out here.

[JPC]

Wait a second, wait a second, wait a second. Is it cold out here or is that creeping chill coming from our own minds?

[Aaron Keefe]

That makes sense. Cause this year has been pretty difficult so far. Not naming names or months that were terrible. January, February, looking at you.

[JPC]

Not Gonna Name Years 20, 25 Looking at you.

[Aaron Keefe]

But what can we do about it? How can we feel better?

[JPC]

Wait a second. I just had a million dollar idea. I mean, it's not really a million dollar. They don't pay us million dollar. But if they wanted to, they could if they wanted to bump up our fee.

[Aaron Keefe]

Are you about to invent therapy? Because that already exists. And you can get it through BetterHelp.

[JPC]

BetterHelp is fully online, making therapy affordable and convenient and serving over 5 million people worldwide.

[Adol Refai]

You can access a diverse network of more than 30,000 credentialed therapists with a wide range of specialties.

[Aaron Keefe]

Cold. You can easily switch therapists anytime at no extra cost. I use BetterHelp. This works for how my brain works, which is I like to be able to message my counselor anytime when I'm actually experiencing something and it helps so much. Again, not looking at you any months. January, February, months.

[JPC]

And if you're one of those people out there that says, I don't know about online therapy, I don't know if it's right for me, let me demystify the whole thing by telling you exactly what the process is. You show up, you're sitting basically in front of your computer or whatever. Your therapist shows up, you tell them what is making your brain freezing cold. And then they say, tell me more about that. And you kind of talk through it and you leave the session and maybe your brain feels a little bit warmer now. Doesn't that sound pretty nice?

[Adol Refai]

Oh, that sounds. That's warming my heart.

[Aaron Keefe]

Warming up already.

[JPC]

Not too bad. Not too bad, Jim.

[Adol Refai]

So discover your relationship green flags with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com riddle today to get 10% off your first month. Ah, I feel so warm. That's BetterHelp. H E L-P.com Riddle and if you're.

[JPC]

Wondering why we Said discover your relationship green flags with betterhelp. Maybe we were supposed to talk about relationship green flags up at the top. It doesn't matter. We didn't actually have to. But that's just for context for people.

[Adol Refai]

We're wearing green flags.

[JPC]

We're wearing green flags.

[Adol Refai]

We're wearing green flags.

[JPC]

Huddle up. It's me, Angel Reese. You can't beat the post game burger and fries, right? Know what else you can't beat?

[Adol Refai]

The Angel Reese special.

[JPC]

Let's break it down. My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions, and a sesame seed bun, of course. And don't forget the fries and a drink. It's gonna be a high C for me. Sound good?

[Adol Refai]

All you have to do to get.

[JPC]

It is beat me in a one on one.

[Adol Refai]

I'm just playing get the Angel Reef.

[JPC]

Special at McDonald's now.

[Adol Refai]

Ba da ba ba ba.

[JPC]

I participate in restaurants for a limited.

[Aaron Keefe]

You guys, when you go home or you see your family, do you regress in any sort of way? Do they make you feel like an old version of yourself?

[Adol Refai]

When I would go back from college to where I went to high school, the home I went to high school in, the minute I stay the night in my bedroom, I get so unnecessarily upset with my mom, where my mom will yell upstairs and be like, dinner's ready. And I'm like, give me a second. And it comes out of nowhere. Like it's just a knee jerk reaction where I'm like, why am I being petulant? I've outgrown that. But there's something about being in a place you used to live when you were in school that really sets you back.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yes.

[JPC]

And when I go home, if I go home, I stay for four hours. So I don't really have enough time for there to be a regression. I stay for four hours and I say, well, got a three hour drive back to Chicago. Better be hitting the old dusty trail.

[Aaron Keefe]

So nice meeting y'all.

[JPC]

Then I get the fuck out of.

[Adol Refai]

There, taking the dirt roads. And when my sister and I are visiting my mom at the same time, we do, like, if I see my sister at my house or her place, we're fine. We're best friends. The minute we get to our mom's place, we're bickering. We're like, what's this? And my mom's like, oh, this was grandma's stamp collection. I thought one of you. And then we're like yanking at it together, trying to. Trying to grab it.

[Aaron Keefe]

I. I think it takes 20 minutes after being home that my sisters gang up on me and immediately are like, I've told you guys this. You're like, remember when you tried, you thought you had early access to a Harry Potter book and you printed it out and then you were so ashamed of it. Remember this? They bring that up every time I go home. And I was like, I was 11.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Aaron Keefe]

I thought it ended up being smut. It ended up being Harry Potter smut.

[Adol Refai]

And I, of course, can you read us some Harry Potter's throbbing Ron, turn to page 69.

[Aaron Keefe]

We are back with some of these Lizzie originals.

[JPC]

I have a question though, because Adol mentioned her grandpa stamp collection and really wanting it, putting it in his house. Adol, I want to pitch to you a game show. Now, the game show is I get like a list of items that I know are in your house, in your possession.

[Adol Refai]

Good luck.

[JPC]

And then I take you in your house, I spin you around 10 times, and then I start the clock and I say, go find this thing. And then if you find it within a certain amount of time, you get to keep it. But if you don't find it, you gotta get rid of it or sell it.

[Adol Refai]

I'd be getting rid of 90% of my stuff.

[JPC]

I actually really like this game. I think that this could be. We could do this for charity. We could really make this work.

[Aaron Keefe]

I mean, what could go wrong, right?

[JPC]

Oh, you're saying he'd get too dizzy and he'd want to flesh like a.

[Adol Refai]

Kid playing a T ball when he spins around eight times?

[JPC]

Yeah, 10 might be too much. I love getting dizzy though, man. Ain't no better high than getting dizzy.

[Aaron Keefe]

Your kid seems to be really on a dizzy kick right now.

[JPC]

They love being dizzy. If they could, they'd just be dizzy all the time. And honestly, that sounds pretty fucking sweet.

[Aaron Keefe]

Do you think that's going to translate into them being like a figure skater or like a roller coaster person? Like, how do you think that's going to manifest?

[Adol Refai]

Lead SINGER TO Maroquai well, now that.

[JPC]

I know that whole thing about having that little stage in your house, the only thing that I'm trying to prevent them from becoming is an Aaron Keith. So I'm really. Wow. What? It seems bad.

[Aaron Keefe]

It's wonderful.

[JPC]

You're right. I'm sorry.

[Aaron Keefe]

I don't know why my life is so great that the little bullshit that you guys have to deal with and like, I have to deal with, like the Internet stuff is the price you pay for having a life as incredible as Mine.

[JPC]

Wow. Interesting.

[Adol Refai]

Worth it?

[Aaron Keefe]

It is.

[JPC]

It seems worth it.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm so hot and tall and beautiful.

[JPC]

Can you believe I'm having trouble?

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm doing so good.

[Adol Refai]

We, Aaron, we believe you.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah. This is a real lady doth protest too much. I'm coming after this too hard.

[JPC]

Weren't doing so good when you printed out that porn book from Harry Potter when you were 11.

[Adol Refai]

10 points from Gryffindor and one piece of clothing. Poker with McGonagall.

[Aaron Keefe]

A dull book about world record speeds.

[Adol Refai]

Guinness.

[JPC]

Wait, wow. If it's Guinness, that's awesome.

[Adol Refai]

A dull book about world record speeds.

[JPC]

Is it track?

[Aaron Keefe]

No.

[JPC]

Trick track? Truck?

[Aaron Keefe]

No.

[Adol Refai]

Sprint relay? Olympic? Is it Guinness?

[Aaron Keefe]

No, it's not Guinness.

[JPC]

Is it Ripley's?

[Aaron Keefe]

No. It is not a specific book about anything. It's a way to say book that is.

[Adol Refai]

Tome.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yes. How did you know?

[JPC]

Whoa.

[Aaron Keefe]

You're so impressive.

[Adol Refai]

I think it's all those years on Magic Tavern.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah.

[Adol Refai]

We always say tome or grimoire.

[JPC]

Tame. Tome. No.

[Adol Refai]

To me. Tome. Right.

[Aaron Keefe]

Tame time. Tome.

[JPC]

Tame. Tome. Time. Records. Gotta be.

[Adol Refai]

It sounds like you're talking to someone and you're like, we'll meet tomorrow at noon again. And they're like, tame time to trying to say same time.

[JPC]

It feels like it's. All of these feel very Adam Sandler. Coded like tame time.

[Adol Refai]

Tome. Tame time.

[JPC]

Tome.

[Adol Refai]

It's too hot for a penguin to be just tame time.

[JPC]

Todd. Tolp.

[Aaron Keefe]

A red herring. Went in pursuit of a rogue 18 wheeler semi.

[JPC]

Truck.

[Aaron Keefe]

Truck.

[JPC]

Track. Wait.

[Adol Refai]

A trick.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yes.

[JPC]

Track.

[Aaron Keefe]

These are fun. Hmm. Can't think of a scene. That's rare.

[Adol Refai]

I do want to see a scene.

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay.

[Adol Refai]

Aaron, you are a truck driver driving a semi truck across America. Jbc. You are in a car pulling alongside the semi truck that Aaron is in. And you're a little kid trying to get Aaron to do the horn honk thing, but she won't do it. And the cards are just sort of parallel enough for you to have a conversation.

[JPC]

Hey.

[Aaron Keefe]

Hey. There's a kid. Okay? He's showing me his arm. Oh, I get it. Your arms are stronger than my arms. I got weak arms.

[JPC]

I'm a little boy.

[Aaron Keefe]

Look how strong the little boy's arms are. Okay. I'm weak about that. He's not about that. Hold your.

[JPC]

On the truck.

[Aaron Keefe]

It's my divorce anniversary, kid. I. I don't need this today. I get it. Your arms are strong. You're a little kid. Your arms are stronger than me. I get it.

[JPC]

Let me drive the truck. You're not good at it.

[Aaron Keefe]

Let me.

[JPC]

You have the truck. Whoa. He's.

[Aaron Keefe]

He's climbing out the window. Kid, you crazy?

[JPC]

Hey, you don't know the trunk sides. You don't know the truck size. How long have you been a truck driver?

[Aaron Keefe]

God, this kid's crazy. Oh, my God. He's about to jump.

[JPC]

Open this window.

[Aaron Keefe]

He's hanging off the side of my truck. Kid, you're crazy. Come get your kid, lady.

[Adol Refai]

And we see his hands are in the semi window and his feet are still in his car window.

[JPC]

Open the window. Open the window. Oh, God. Unroll it.

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay. What?

[JPC]

A hand crank. You don't even have automatic windows.

[Aaron Keefe]

Hand cranks. Moves over to passenger side. Kid, you're crazy.

[JPC]

You're crazy, kid. That's all I wanted. Is that so hard?

[Aaron Keefe]

Kid? What the heck?

[JPC]

How long have you been driving a truck?

[Aaron Keefe]

20 years. Get out of my truck, kid.

[JPC]

No way. You don't look a day over 29. You've been driving this truck since you were nine years old.

[Aaron Keefe]

Hey, thanks, kid. I really needed that. It's my divorce anniversary.

[JPC]

Well, I don't know what he was thinking. I'm assuming it's a he.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah.

[JPC]

Judging by. Yeah, okay. I don't know what he was thinking.

[Aaron Keefe]

Because we smash cut to a year of them on the road. They've learned a lot about each other. They've both grown. Well, kid, I gotta tell you, my whole 21 years of driving this truck, I never had one as good as this. You taught me everything I know, kid.

[JPC]

Well, I just want to thank you for keeping this relationship platonic. I guess it was mostly me.

[Aaron Keefe]

Of course.

[JPC]

You wanted to make it sexual on a lot of times.

[Aaron Keefe]

Hey, I. You. You couldn't do that.

[JPC]

I'm just saying you could do that in an improv.

[Aaron Keefe]

You can't do that in an improv scene.

[Adol Refai]

They pass billboard after billboard that says missing child with his picture.

[Aaron Keefe]

I hate you guys. I'm mad at you today. Not you, Adel. You're vip. Although I'm a little bit mad at you, but I'm mostly really mad at jpc. Jpc? I think the respond to JPC is about to get a little further down the list.

[JPC]

Oh, no. Well, I did it to myself.

[Adol Refai]

We got a VIP and a jpc.

[JPC]

I can't help myself. I like to play. I like to play. Is it a crime? I deserve everything that's coming to me.

[Aaron Keefe]

What happened when you hit the tread of a round metal ladder?

[JPC]

The tread of a round metal ladder? What is the tread of a ladder?

[Adol Refai]

I've never seen A round metal ladder.

[Aaron Keefe]

A docent is sort of a person who gives tours around a museum. Oh, how is that not helpful?

[Adol Refai]

A tire. A tire.

[JPC]

Oh, a round metal ladder. Would that be like a spoke?

[Aaron Keefe]

No, round.

[JPC]

An axle. A wheel?

[Aaron Keefe]

No, round.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah.

[JPC]

I'm thinking of the way the spokes of a bike, you could like climb them like a ladder. If you were like a borrower.

[Adol Refai]

Honey, I'm cleaning the gutters. Oh, no, I'm rolling away.

[JPC]

Worst. That's the worst.

[Adol Refai]

That's the worst.

[Aaron Keefe]

When your ladder rolls away, what's something that is circle shaped? What are some things?

[Adol Refai]

Tire wheel. A ball. Smaller armadillo. Smaller ball. Adam marble.

[Aaron Keefe]

You could wear it.

[JPC]

Bracelet.

[Aaron Keefe]

You could wear them smaller than a bracelet.

[Adol Refai]

Smaller than a ring. Yeah, a ring.

[JPC]

Ring, ring. Ring. Ring rung.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah, Ring, ring, rung. Ring, ring, rung.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'd like to see a scene like let's get loud. Adol. You are on top of a very tall ladder and GPC is in charge of holding the ladder for you to make sure you're safe. But he's getting a little distracted.

[Adol Refai]

Just a few more feet.

[JPC]

There's a guy in a food truck and it looks like he's giving away free Pepsis. I've just watched people walk up and get. It doesn't look like anyone's paying. And he's just giving away free Pepsis.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah, Chuck, I'll buy you a Pepsi later. We're trying to build a tower.

[JPC]

Free Pepsi.

[Adol Refai]

I know, I know, buddy.

[JPC]

What could be going on? Could a Pepsi machine in the truck be like going bad and he's gotta offload all these. Another guy with a Pepsi.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, yeah. It must be like a meetup or something. Maybe.

[JPC]

And he's got a silly straw.

[Aaron Keefe]

This Pepsi is amazing.

[JPC]

He's drinking Pepsi out of his silly straw. I'll be right back.

[Aaron Keefe]

I love this straw.

[Adol Refai]

Now hold the ladder. Hey, Chuck, hold the ladder.

[JPC]

I have one hand on it. I have one hand on it. I'm not going to make it across the street to get the Pepsi. Hold on. I know. Hold on. See this dog?

[Adol Refai]

Yeah.

[JPC]

I'll have this dog hold the ladder.

[Adol Refai]

Here, boy. No, this is.

[JPC]

I'll tie. Hold on. I'll tie his leash.

[Adol Refai]

Is it a sitter or setter?

[JPC]

What are they called? I don't know. I'll tie his leash to the ladder and that. So that'll weigh the ladder down.

[Adol Refai]

No, but then when he runs, he'll. He'll tug at the ladder. Oh, good boy.

[Aaron Keefe]

Stay.

[JPC]

What's he gonna run at? Dogs don't want Pepsi.

[Adol Refai]

Stay.

[JPC]

Oh, he does. Oh, he really wants. Okay, hold on. I'm holding it. I'm. Hold it.

[Adol Refai]

I'm holding it.

[JPC]

Oh, boy. He is really going out for that Pepsi. I'm gonna cut him off. Okay. Oh, okay. You're fine. You're fine. Look. Oh, my God. That dog's getting a Pepsi. They're giving that Pepsi to a dog. This must be some good Pepsi. Here's what I'll do. I'll take you and the ladder with me.

[Adol Refai]

No, don't. Whoa, you're doing it. You're balancing.

[JPC]

Step, step, stat. Uh oh, car's coming. Stat. He'll slow down, Stan. He'll slow down, Stan. He'll slow down, Stan. He'll slow down.

[Aaron Keefe]

We have your X rays and we have your test results back, but you have to promise to not laugh. Okay?

[Adol Refai]

Give it to me straight, Doctor.

[Aaron Keefe]

You have. What was it?

[Adol Refai]

Let's see. Aaron, that's the funniest thing a doctor can say to you during a diagnosis. You have.

[Aaron Keefe]

What was it called?

[Adol Refai]

What was it?

[JPC]

What was that thing you came in here thinking you had? Yes, that's it. Ping Pong Dong.

[Aaron Keefe]

It's Ping Pong Pong Dong. I'm sorry.

[Adol Refai]

Ping Pong Dong.

[Aaron Keefe]

Hey, I apologize.

[JPC]

How could you forget the name of the episode?

[Aaron Keefe]

Who says? I'm gonna make that the name of the episode? I think the name of the episode is gonna be Aaron Is Thriving.

[Adol Refai]

I like that.

[Aaron Keefe]

There's a lot going so well for me.

[JPC]

I believe you.

[Aaron Keefe]

You guys, I did improv with so many cool people this week. Adel and I got to do improv with Richard Kyne, who was the nicest.

[Adol Refai]

Throughout the whole show, he kept leaning over to me and saying, this is nuts.

[Aaron Keefe]

So cool.

[Adol Refai]

Which was fun.

[Aaron Keefe]

The incredible.

[JPC]

That's very fun.

[Aaron Keefe]

Richard. For a moment, it was just like 20 minutes of Richard Kine and I just backstage sitting on steps together. And I was like, well, this is kind of. This is quite lovely.

[Adol Refai]

My favorite thing is, Aaron said she was. Because before the show, we were talking to Richard about, like, for Magic Tavern. Were like, so it's not Earth, but you can make, like, an analogous, you know, but you can't say, like, you know, I'm in San Francisco and I have a computer. You can't. You know, it's all sort of. And he was like, I kind of get it. And then backstage, I guess Aaron said. He said, so, what are cars?

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah. He just kept asking questions like that. And I was like, let's. Let's fucking get into It Richard. Kai.

[JPC]

Let's find out. Let's go out there and find out. Richard.

[Aaron Keefe]

Nuts. Okay. I am very proud of this one. Up to you if it's deserved. That's what Lizzie said.

[JPC]

Okay.

[Adol Refai]

Okay.

[Aaron Keefe]

Extremely heavy Star wars creature who made it off Hoth to get some sun and now happens to be made of metal.

[Adol Refai]

So, jpc, you would know best. Who was on Hoth? Was that Jabba? Was that the Sarlock pit? Was that Boba?

[JPC]

What? I don't think Jabba was on Hoth, but Hutt is an extremely heavy Star wars creature.

[Aaron Keefe]

I don't know if I know enough to be able to give good hints.

[Adol Refai]

DeVintawa Jabba.

[JPC]

TomTom's World.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, yes. Yep.

[Adol Refai]

Tom Tom.

[Aaron Keefe]

That's part of it. This one's hard.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, the tauntaun.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Adol Refai]

That he. Hoth is an ice planet and he cuts open the tauntan.

[JPC]

Yeah. To sleep in the taunt. So tan. Is it just tan or is it Tauntan?

[Aaron Keefe]

Tauntan.

[Adol Refai]

So a tan.

[JPC]

Tan.

[Adol Refai]

A ton ton Tauntaun.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah.

[Adol Refai]

And then what was the other.

[Aaron Keefe]

So extremely heavy tan.

[Adol Refai]

Ton ton.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah.

[Adol Refai]

Tan tan tun.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah. Because of made of metal. So tan. 10 ton Tin Taunton.

[JPC]

Wait, we weren't even close.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, you were. I don't think I close.

[Adol Refai]

I didn't realize it was more than three.

[JPC]

Yeah. Tan.

[Aaron Keefe]

10 ton tin Taunton.

[Adol Refai]

Rin. Tin. Tin. Tan. Taunton tin ton. Tan, tin.

[Aaron Keefe]

And, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and tin.

[JPC]

I like that one.

[Aaron Keefe]

10 ton tenton.

[Adol Refai]

I do want to see a scene.

[Aaron Keefe]

What could you possibly. What could this possibly be? Can't wait.

[Adol Refai]

I do want to see a scene. The two of you are in the Star wars universe. You are trapped on Hoth. It is freezing cold. Jpc, you're trying to convince Eren to crawl inside a dead tauntaun to stay warm for the night. Aaron, you're ooked out and don't want to go inside.

[JPC]

Looks like that wind isn't letting up. Okay, Zorf, if you want to stay alive, you're gonna have to climb inside this tauntaun.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, well, that's a little weird.

[Adol Refai]

Well, it's.

[JPC]

Well, no, I mean, it's because its body heat is going to be warm enough because I've. It's freshly killed. It's going to be warden enough to keep you alive in its like. And it's, it's. Frankly, it's going to be disgusting in its body heat.

[Aaron Keefe]

I don't know, man. I'm looking kind of in there and it looks like you sort of painted and sort of made it homey. Well, weird.

[JPC]

Yeah, I didn't want it to be, like, not nice for you. I can't do anything about the smell, but I could at least spruce it up.

[Aaron Keefe]

This just feels a little insensitive. He was our companion. Like, we were all really close.

[JPC]

Okay, yeah, maybe he should live and you should die. Maybe that's how it should have worked. I. I'm gonna be fine. We have this Canadian goose parka all the way down. Big hood.

[Aaron Keefe]

Is this why you killed him? Did you? Were you trying to make his house into your apartment or his body into your apartment?

[JPC]

First of all, I'm not going in there. It stinks in there. And I have a 1200 credit jacket that I'm going to be more than comfortable with.

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay, then why is this huge TV in here?

[JPC]

He may have eaten that. That may have been something he ate.

[Aaron Keefe]

Is it partially digested that we cannot be turning our friends bodies into our apartments?

[JPC]

First of all, he was not a friend, okay? I bought him from a man.

[Aaron Keefe]

You were his best man.

[JPC]

I was his only man.

[Adol Refai]

Sorry, buddy. I'm done in here. We did the. For the kitchen. We did the backsplash and the subway tile. Oh, hi. Hello.

[JPC]

Here's some credits. And also him. Here's some credits for like, lunch or whatever. Get yourself something, you know.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, nice.

[JPC]

I know I don't have to, but you and the guys, you did a great job. Have lunch on me.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, hell yeah. Guys, we're getting space sandwiches.

[Aaron Keefe]

Wow, you must have had to hire these guys way before he's dead. You're not a very good friend, man.

[JPC]

What? Are you kidding me? I just met this guy and his little babu. Freaks. Hey, guys, I don't even.

[Aaron Keefe]

Are you willing to do another job?

[Adol Refai]

Yeah, if the credits are right.

[Aaron Keefe]

Smash cut to me living inside of JPC's body. Big screen TV.

[Adol Refai]

He's still alive.

[Aaron Keefe]

He's still alive.

[JPC]

Squawk.

[Adol Refai]

It's a living scene. I love picturing in the Star wars universe that it's canon now that they have Canada goose coats. It's like Qui Gon Jinn in a big ass parka. Big ass Canada goose parka.

[Aaron Keefe]

It's like Apreski everyone likes. Super put together. Um, a totally tubular parking area. Rental.

[Adol Refai]

A lit lot.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, yeah, you got it.

[Adol Refai]

Tubular parking area. A lit lot.

[Aaron Keefe]

Rental.

[Adol Refai]

Rental.

[Aaron Keefe]

Lot.

[Adol Refai]

Let live. Laugh, Lut.

[Aaron Keefe]

Live, laugh. Let live.

[Adol Refai]

Let.

[Aaron Keefe]

What you are left with when your feline is offended by the very cheap sleeping arrangements.

[JPC]

Kitty, kitty. Cotty kitty. Catty kitty.

[Aaron Keefe]

You're so close.

[Adol Refai]

Kitty manicotti.

[Aaron Keefe]

It's not kitty, though.

[JPC]

Kit Kat caught.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah. Cut. Cat cot.

[JPC]

Cut. Cat cot. I was still doing K for kitty.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'd like to see a scene. Adel, you are JPC's cat and you're pretty unsatisfied with the living arrangements.

[Adol Refai]

Meh.

[JPC]

Fine. You know what? Don't sleep in the tauntaun. I guess nobody wants to sleep in the tauntaun. I guess I'm killing these things for some sort of sport.

[Aaron Keefe]

California king.

[JPC]

I don't have a California king tauntaun. I have the tauntauns that I have, okay? This tauntaun was a queen among her people. Okay, fine. You're ungrateful. You're ungrateful.

[Adol Refai]

One third wrench. Meow, meow.

[JPC]

One third rent. Okay, I'm already paying one quarter portion. I'm not gonna start paying 1/3 rent on top of my one quarter portion. I'm throwing you in the sarlacc pit. No, I'm throwing your ass in the sarlacc pit.

[Adol Refai]

Queen, queen, works. Queen size works.

[JPC]

A queen works.

[Adol Refai]

Queen works. Queen, nominal size. Bed works. Meow, meow.

[Aaron Keefe]

You're an angel.

[JPC]

What?

[Aaron Keefe]

Meow, meow, meow.

[JPC]

You're damn right I am. You're damn right I'm an angel.

[Adol Refai]

Dishes could be meow, meow, meow, not left out to soak. Meow, meow, meow. As you said, not every dish needs to soak. Meow, meow, meow.

[JPC]

Fine. Okay, you know what? Why don't we do this? Why don't we just agree to disagree? We'll go our separate ways. You keep half the tantan, I'll keep my half. And I'll keep my half. Okay.

[Aaron Keefe]

Meow, meow, meow.

[JPC]

And you got the better half.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, yeah.

[JPC]

No room in the neck. My ass. Crawling up into a Tod Todd neck. No way.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah, I got the fireplace.

[JPC]

Fucking tiny ass cat. I'm six two in Star wars height, sleeping in a Tod Todd neck.

[Adol Refai]

Unbelievable. There's a saucepan with 40 forks in here.

[Aaron Keefe]

What are you seeing?

[Adol Refai]

So bitching.

[Aaron Keefe]

All right, let's get through all of these because I'm loving them and I think we can do it. But we have to really be focused, gang. Can we do it? Oh, okay, this one is kind of cheating. Me. I'm talking to JPC again. Adol, Vip. What is it? Goose and Maverick. You and me, kid. We're locked in together. It's that guy over there.

[JPC]

Hello, jpc, Ping pong and Dong.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yes, this one is kind of cheating. What? You need Prepared. When it's time to sit Adel down and teach him how to eat this candy properly.

[Adol Refai]

Well, KitKat is what I donate properly.

[Aaron Keefe]

Right? Yeah. And then what you need. Prepared. What's something that you prepare if you're.

[Adol Refai]

About to do a go bag.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah. But a different way of saying that.

[Adol Refai]

Kit. Yes, a kit. Kit Kat.

[Aaron Keefe]

A kit Kat kit. Which is kind of cheating because it's.

[Adol Refai]

A kit Kat kit.

[JPC]

Okay. Gotcha.

[Aaron Keefe]

Two eyes. A poorly lit police horse mom who really likes telling someone what else to do. A dim and police is in parentheses. It's not important. It's just sort of a little thing for jpc. A poorly lit horse mom who really likes telling someone else what to do.

[Adol Refai]

Horse.

[JPC]

So it's. It's. It's like. It's gonna be like a word for horse. Right.

[Adol Refai]

Mare.

[Aaron Keefe]

Colt. Really likes telling someone else to do. Is the most helpful.

[JPC]

Really likes telling someone else what to do. Boss. Right? Oh, boss.

[Aaron Keefe]

No, Think of a boss in, like, a sexual context.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, dom dom. A dim dom. Dim dom. Mom.

[Aaron Keefe]

Dim dom. Dam.

[JPC]

Oh, A dim dom. Damn.

[Aaron Keefe]

Dim dam of boss lady business mask lesbians.

[Adol Refai]

Aaron, you always say boss lady bitch, right?

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah. So, yeah. You got one word.

[Adol Refai]

Is it Aaron?

[Aaron Keefe]

No, it's not Aaron.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, you said lady.

[Aaron Keefe]

Nope.

[Adol Refai]

I don't know what it is.

[Aaron Keefe]

B, I, T, C, H. Oh, Bitch.

[Adol Refai]

A witch. Bitch itch. What were the descriptions of the.

[Aaron Keefe]

A group of boss lady business masc. Lesbians. And the vowel chitch.

[Adol Refai]

A butch.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yep.

[Adol Refai]

A butch bitch batch.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yes.

[Adol Refai]

A batch of butch bitches.

[JPC]

A bitch butch batch.

[Aaron Keefe]

What? What someone might say after teenagers rang their doorbell for the ninth time.

[Adol Refai]

Ding dong. Ditch bitch. Try that. Ding dong ditch bitch. Again. Bitch.

[JPC]

This is getting close to Eminem. Is it ding.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, that's the middle word.

[Adol Refai]

Ding.

[JPC]

Ring ding.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah. And then. Ugh. It's so annoying.

[Adol Refai]

Ring ding.

[Aaron Keefe]

No, you keep adding the consonant.

[JPC]

Ding dong. Yeah.

[Aaron Keefe]

Ding dong is the second two. Yeah. Dang. Dang. Ding.

[JPC]

Ding dong. Dang dang. Oh. Dang.

[Adol Refai]

Ding dong.

[Aaron Keefe]

To remove a bit of mallard's curiosity. Oh, sorry. To remove a bit of a mallard's curiously shaped body part.

[Adol Refai]

Dick. A fuck dick. Duck dick.

[JPC]

Duck is part of it.

[Adol Refai]

Tell me. That's right, Doc.

[JPC]

Dick.

[Aaron Keefe]

Duck dick.

[Adol Refai]

Lie to me if you have to. Doctor, do I have a dog? Duck dick.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yes, but don't laugh. A lush forest of bells.

[Adol Refai]

Chime Jungle. A jingle jungle.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah.

[Adol Refai]

Jingle my money don't Jingle jungle.

[JPC]

Jingle jingle.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah. Jingle jangle jungle. There's actually enough here to come back to them. I think so. I don't want to rush through them, but. So let's do one more that's different.

[JPC]

Than what you said five minutes ago.

[Aaron Keefe]

Shut up, you guys. My Internet was not rushing this morning. I had a whole other episode I was planning on doing and then it threw me for such a loop and I burst into tears and I went, I don't know if I can do it. And then I. I adjusted and I fixed it. It's still not good enough. Thank you, Adel. It's not. It's never you, Adel. You and me, kid. We are locked in your vip.

[JPC]

I think I might believe you if you say it a few more times. I think I'm getting close to getting it. You're doing well.

[Aaron Keefe]

Someone that chooses who gets to kiss an athlete from Green Bay.

[Adol Refai]

Packer. A Picker. Packer. Pucker.

[JPC]

Pumpkin eater.

[Aaron Keefe]

Pecker. Picker.

[JPC]

Pucker. Picker.

[Aaron Keefe]

Say it four times.

[Adol Refai]

Peter Piper. Pecker. Picker. Peck. A Pepeckers.

[JPC]

Pepper.

[Aaron Keefe]

Pecker.

[JPC]

11 times.

[Aaron Keefe]

Adol.

[Adol Refai]

Yes.

[Aaron Keefe]

You and me, locked in my VIP.

[Adol Refai]

Goodness gracious, great balls of fire.

[Aaron Keefe]

Right to the front of the line. Tell us what you want to plug my guy.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, boy. I guess number one with a bullet would be the. Hey, riddle. Riddle. Patreon. You can find, I want to say, dozens, if not hundreds of episodes of bonus content, all types of different series and improv and games and whatnot. So check it out. Go to patreon.com heyriddleriddle I think you're gonna like the way you look. Aaron, my dear, you are absolute best. You're always vip. What. What do you have on on the docket?

[Aaron Keefe]

Well, follow quality time on Instagram. If you would like to come to my monthly show. It's really cool. It's a true variety show. We've had carolers. We had a history teacher come and teach a little lesson. It's so fun. It's at the Lyric Theater in Los Angeles and it's once a month, so check that out. Jpc, you want to come out of that carcass you're sleeping in and either plug something or read a review. We would love that.

[JPC]

It's a Canada goose. Carcass.

[Adol Refai]

Carcass. Carcass.

[JPC]

Sponsor the show. Send me a jacket. Would love one carcass. Minus 50 degrees, Chicago. Except me. One of those fucking jackets. Love a $100 jacket. Yeah. Here we go. If you want to get a review featured on the show, leave a 5 star review anywhere you leave reviews. I might read it on the show. Hey, this time I'M reading one from Liz Risley. Excellent name. Love this show. Hi, I'm JPC and I'm a huge. Wait, sorry guys. Spaghetti just walked in. That's odd. I could have sworn I close up. Oh, she has a note tape to her. This is so weird. But I guess I should read it, right? Let me just. Huh. We know what you did in Tucson. Wow, what a stupid thing for someone to write. I mean, I've never even been to Tucson, right? Guys, I've never told you I was in Tucson. Right? Because I never have been. Just to be clear. You know what? Forget Tucson. Let's get back to the five star review. Hi, I'm JPC and I'm a huge butt. Haha. Classic review. You really got me with that one. Anyway, moving on. Aaron Adol, do you have any affordable lawyers you would like to plug?

[Adol Refai]

Jpc, Just read the review.

[JPC]

Yeah, I can't. I don't. I never learned how. I didn't have a stage.

[Adol Refai]

Aaron, picture this. I'm married to Meg Ryan. I die, she survives. And then all of a sudden Top Gun music. And then you say Jupiter and then you're shirtless and you're playing volleyball.

[JPC]

Created by Emily Cardamus and Emma Lee Napoleon. Meg Ryan in that movie?

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, in the first one. And then she was too old to be in the second one. Get out of here. People who are old and who aren't men, step aside.

[Adol Refai]

I guarantee you they probably in Top Gun Maverick. They probably cast like Sydney Sweeney. And then someone was like, can we get someone a little older?

[Aaron Keefe]

Someone who's seen the other side of 30 at least.

[JPC]

Hey there Candies and grams. If you like that, you are gonna love this week's Patreon. It's Valentine's Improv from a high school. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com haveronovertle by joining the clue crew for $5 a month or start your 7 day free trial or the review crew for $8 a month. Plus you get those ad free episodes. See you there.

[Adol Refai]

That was a headgum podcast.