#344: Wall With A Leather Jacket

Summary

Summary of "Hey Riddle Riddle" Episode #344: "Wall With A Leather Jacket"

Release Date: February 19, 2025
Hosts: Aaron Keif, Adal Rifai, John Patrick Coan (JPC)
Podcast Description:
"Hey Riddle Riddle" is a unique blend of riddles, puzzles, and improvisational comedy hosted by three Chicago-based improvisers. In Episode #344, titled "Wall With A Leather Jacket," the trio navigates through a series of engaging segments that highlight their chemistry, quick wit, and problem-solving skills.

---

Introduction: Post-Vacation Vibes [00:51 – 04:08]

The episode begins with Aaron Keif, Adal Rifai, and JPC returning from their respective vacations. JPC shares his excitement about being back on the show after almost a year away, emphasizing the rejuvenating effect of taking a break.

Notable Quote:

• JPC [04:13]: "You know, I haven't had a vacation in a year. Almost a year. So it feels good."

Adal playfully suggests that the vacation might have impacted JPC's riddle-solving abilities, setting a humorous tone for the episode.

Riddle Segments: "Odd One Out" Challenges [07:00 – 56:58]

The core of the episode revolves around the "Odd One Out" riddles, where hosts present a list of items and determine which doesn't belong and why. This segment showcases their analytical skills and playful banter.

First Riddle: Basic Objects [22:32 – 23:20]

• Words: appetite, cool, marbles, bedroom
• Answer: "Bedroom" – It’s the only item you can’t lose.

Notable Quote:

• Aaron Keif [22:49]: "Your bedroom is the odd one out because that's the one thing you can't lose."

Second Riddle: Beatles Characters [23:35 – 23:26]

• Words: Eleanor Rigby, Mrs. Robinson, Lady Madonna, Lovely Rita
• Answer: "Mrs. Robinson" – She is not a character in a Beatles song.

Notable Quote:

• JPC [23:26]: "I knew the Beatles were involved in this answer, but I couldn't."

Third Riddle: Everyday Items [28:34 – 30:19]

• Words: postage stamps, toilet paper, film, bacon
• Answer: "Bacon" – The others typically come in rolls.

Notable Quote:

• Adol Rifai [30:07]: "Bacon is correct. The other three postage stamps, toilet paper, and film, they all typically come in rolls, whereas bacon does not."

Fourth Riddle: Celebrity Names [33:06 – 36:08]

• Words: Barack, Shaquille, Beyonce, Aristotle
• Answer: "Beyonce" – She is the only female among predominantly male names.

Notable Quote:

• JPC [36:11]: "Beyonce is the odd one out because the other names are predominantly male figures."

Fifth Riddle: Acronyms vs. Common Words [48:33 – 51:25]

• Words: Catwoman, Deus ex Machina, Parishioner, Pyromania, Scuba
• Answer: "Scuba" – It stands for "Self Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus," making it an acronym.

Notable Quote:

• Adol Rifai [50:10]: "There's something contained within all the words, but one is different from the others."

Sixth Riddle: Units of Measurement [55:35 – 56:58]

• Words: Cubit, Ace, Freo, Angstrom, Rod, Bushel
• Answer: "Bushel" – It is a measure of capacity, not length.

Notable Quote:

• Aaron Keif [56:14]: "Bushel is the odd one out because it's a measure of capacity, not length."

Improvisational Scenes: Bringing Characters to Life [37:35 – 59:49]

The hosts engage in spontaneous improvisational scenes, bringing fictional and historical characters into humorous scenarios.

Horse Batman [56:45 – 58:38]

Adol Rifai introduces "Horse Batman," leading to a comical portrayal of a superhero adapted for horseback.

Notable Quote:

• Adol Rifai [58:54]: "Horse Batman can't have a grappling belt around his waist because that's just going to shoot straight down."

Ronald Reagan and Erin Brockovich [37:35 – 46:58]

The hosts humorously resurrect former President Ronald Reagan and environmental activist Erin Brockovich, integrating them into fictional space scenarios.

Notable Quote:

• JPC [45:43]: "Hey, buddy."

Humorous Banter and Host Dynamics [12:44 – 35:39]

Throughout the episode, the hosts share personal anecdotes, playful insults, and witty exchanges, enhancing the entertainment value.

• Middle School Lunch Table Dynamics: Adol compares middle school lunch tables to survival scenarios from the book "Hatchet," emphasizing social struggles during adolescence.

  Notable Quote:

  • Aaron Keif [12:44]: "Middle school lunch is akin to being dropped in the wilderness, and you're trying to survive."

• Haircut Humor: The hosts joke about actor-like haircuts and their lasting impressions, adding a layer of personal humor.

  Notable Quote:

  • Adol Rifai [03:25]: "It's still fresh as hell, so that's pretty good."

Reflections and Future Segments [60:07 – 66:55]

As the episode nears its end, the hosts reflect on past episodes, discuss potential future segments, and engage in playful self-promotion.

• Promotion of Patreon and Other Projects: The hosts encourage listeners to join their Patreon community for bonus content and mention other projects they are involved in.

  Notable Quote:

  • JPC [66:20]: "If you like that, you are going to love this week's Patreon."

• Final Improvisational Bits: The episode concludes with continued improvisational humor, blending characters like Batman and Catwoman into absurd scenarios.

  Notable Quote:

  • Aaron Keif [61:14]: "I get by with a little horse from my horse."

Conclusion

Episode #344 of "Hey Riddle Riddle" masterfully combines challenging riddles, improvisational comedy, and the hosts' dynamic interactions. From dissecting complex "Odd One Out" puzzles to bringing fictional characters into outlandish scenarios, the episode offers a rich and engaging listening experience. The seamless flow between structured segments and spontaneous humor ensures that both loyal listeners and newcomers find something to enjoy.

Overall Notable Moments:

• Riddle Solving: Demonstrates the hosts' sharp intellect and collaborative spirit.
• Improvisational Scenes: Showcases creativity and comedic timing.
• Humorous Banter: Highlights the camaraderie and unique personalities of each host.

Whether you're a long-time fan or tuning in for the first time, Episode #344 delivers a compelling mix of brain teasers and laughter, staying true to the podcast's promise of being "barely about riddles" yet deeply entertaining.

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Key Quotes with Timestamps:

• JPC [04:13]: "I haven't had a vacation in a year. Almost a year. So it feels good."
• Aaron Keif [22:49]: "Your bedroom is the odd one out because that's the one thing you can't lose."
• Adol Rifai [30:07]: "Bacon is correct. The other three postage stamps, toilet paper, and film, they all typically come in rolls, whereas bacon does not."
• JPC [23:26]: "I knew the Beatles were involved in this answer, but I couldn't."
• Adol Rifai [58:54]: "Horse Batman can't have a grappling belt around his waist because that's just going to shoot straight down."
• JPC [66:20]: "If you like that, you are going to love this week's Patreon."

Transcript

[Aaron Keating]

This is a Headgun podcast. Bombas makes the most comfortable socks, underwear, and T shirts.

[JPC]

Bombas are so absurdly comfortable, you may.

[Adol]

Throw out all your other clothes.

[Aaron Keating]

Sorry, do we legally have to say that?

[JPC]

No, this is just how I talk.

[Adol]

And I really love my Bombas.

[Aaron Keating]

They do feel that good. And they do good too. One item purchased equals one item donated.

[JPC]

To feel good and do good, go.

[Adol]

To bombas.com wondry and use code wondry for 20% off your first purchase.

[JPC]

That's B O m b a s.com and use code Wondry at checkout. The doctor was the mother. He stood on a block of ice. Both of them were goldfish. It was the cabin of an airplane. He stabbed him with an ice away. And the horses came.

[Adol]

Right. Anybody have anything to start?

[Aaron Keating]

Um, you know, I can think of something. You know, this is good. This is good for me. This is a good challenge. Starting an episode of hey, Riddle. Riddle. I could do, like, a little, like. Ah. Like, I could be like, let's get the band back together. No. What if I was, like, stuck in something and you guys were trying to get me out of it?

[Adol]

Ooh.

[Aaron Keating]

What if we did a thing where, like, we are severed because that's in the zeitgeist and we don't know who we are as, like, a reset, and this is us at our job, and we're doing riddles, and maybe we like riddles.

[JPC]

Pass. What else you got?

[Aaron Keating]

Oh, gpc. You're here.

[Adol]

So, like, our innies are doing riddles, and our Audis are, like, happy.

[Aaron Keating]

Yeah, Okay.

[Adol]

I like that. Reverence.

[Aaron Keating]

Reverence.

[Adol]

Is that something like severance, but with riddles?

[Aaron Keating]

Reverence, Reverence.

[Adol]

Reverence. Jpc. Are you on board for reverence?

[JPC]

No, I said pass, and then I said, what else you got?

[Adol]

Oh.

[Aaron Keating]

Oh. What if we were getting the band back together? No, it's nothing. I started with that. I'm getting really nervous. What if it's one of those classic K Riddle riddle openings? It's like jazz, guys. It's like someone at. This is how it usually goes. Someone goes, anyone got anything? And then someone goes, I got something. And then they sort of. Yeah.

[Adol]

It'S the answers we're not giving.

[Aaron Keating]

Yeah, JVC's adjusting his light. I said not talking.

[JPC]

What else you got?

[Adol]

You only get one pass, so you have to do jazz.

[JPC]

What is this, the NFL?

[Adol]

Oh, one pass.

[JPC]

You get more than one pass in the NFL. What's something that you get?

[Adol]

You get two passes. You get two passes and one phonadad.

[Aaron Keating]

Yeah, life you get one chance at life.

[JPC]

Me passing you, and then you passing the floor. What else?

[Aaron Keating]

Jpc. Did you get a haircut? What else?

[Adol]

What else? What else? What else?

[JPC]

Yes. But you have seen me since then. Yeah, a couple weeks ago. Yeah.

[Adol]

Okay. Well, that speaks volumes to how good the haircut is that it's still making an impression.

[JPC]

That's still.

[Adol]

It's still fresh as hell, so that's pretty good. Welcome to hey Riddle Riddle, where we're getting haircuts and doing jazz. Doing jazz. What do you do with. You don't play jazz, right?

[Aaron Keating]

You experience jazz?

[Adol]

You experience jazz?

[JPC]

Well, yeah, but as a listener, but I think as a person. Who is making the jazz? I think you're experts.

[Aaron Keating]

You're experiencing it as well.

[Adol]

I don't play any instruments.

[Aaron Keating]

Wait, all your senses are not taking in the music that you're playing? Jbz? Is that your argument?

[JPC]

Let's see. How do I do jazz? Suck, fuck, sniff.

[Aaron Keating]

Wait, what is this?

[JPC]

Yeah, I guess I use all my senses. The five senses. Sucking, fucking, farting.

[Aaron Keating]

Now, gpc. How does it feel to jump back into Hay Riddle Riddle after being on vacation?

[JPC]

You know, I haven't had. I haven't had a vacation in a year. Almost a year. So it feels good. It feels good. I recommend if you're on the fence about taking a vacation and you haven't had one in quite a while, I say go for it. I say take a vacation.

[Adol]

Wow.

[JPC]

Ultimately, I think it feels pretty great to do. And so that's kind of be. Yeah, that's got to be my big recommendation. Go on vacation if you can.

[Adol]

Yeah. Do you feel refreshed?

[JPC]

Yes. But I also just took a shower, like, 30 minutes ago, so that might. There might be some. That's like. It's kind of. I'm souring my whole data pool, basically. And by the way, when I took my shower, I definitely soured my data pool, if you know what I'm saying.

[Adol]

Oh, come on. What?

[JPC]

What could it mean?

[Adol]

Use the loop.

[Aaron Keating]

I don't want to think about that.

[Adol]

Why get upset?

[JPC]

Because. What could it mean? Why get upset?

[Aaron Keating]

The way you say stuff.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Aaron Keating]

Well, gpc, this is sort of a test. We wanted to see what a vacation does to a. Hey, Riddle Riddle Brain. So we're gonna sort of throw some of your classic bits at you, sort of throw you into the deep end of an episode and see if you're.

[JPC]

Gonna do Uncle Santa.

[Aaron Keating]

Yeah, I was gonna. That was gonna be one of them.

[JPC]

That's one of my vits. That's Just a character that comes up on the show. So actually, anyone can do it.

[Aaron Keating]

Anyone can do it technically, but let's just start.

[JPC]

Where do we leave it? Is he dead? You might be dead.

[Adol]

Canonically, I don't think you can kill the unkillable.

[Aaron Keating]

What should we start with? Adol Sex with cousin stuff.

[Adol]

Ooh, yeah. Let's do a real layup. Let's do a horse that's a cousin.

[Aaron Keating]

A horse that's a cousin. Okay.

[Adol]

Okay. This is cousins.

[Aaron Keating]

Here we go.

[JPC]

Jpc, what am I to do with this now?

[Aaron Keating]

We're seeing if you still got it after making it.

[Adol]

Seeing if you still.

[JPC]

But what? Got what Is a scene.

[Aaron Keating]

I don't know. This is.

[JPC]

It's a scene.

[Aaron Keating]

Yeah. Go.

[Adol]

Oh, nailed it.

[Aaron Keating]

Wow.

[Adol]

Aaron is back.

[Aaron Keating]

He's back.

[Adol]

Okay, but that was a layup, so let's give him.

[Aaron Keating]

Let's do riddles. Yeah.

[Adol]

Mid range jumper.

[JPC]

Can I be honest? I don't think solo scenes is ever a thing we've done on the show. Maybe a bit away for a while, but. Okay. No, yeah, you're right.

[Aaron Keating]

Okay, we're gonna do JP riddles. But he's stuck at the top of a Ferris wheel.

[JPC]

Stuck at the top of a Ferris wheel. Okay, hold on. Give me a second.

[Adol]

Okay, he's getting into characters.

[JPC]

Down, down, down, down.

[Aaron Keating]

What is he doing?

[JPC]

Down. God damn button. Down. Down.

[Adol]

I think he's jerking off and expecting.

[JPC]

Why Put a button down. God damn button.

[Adol]

Okay, Nailed it. He's two for two. But.

[Aaron Keating]

Two for two.

[Adol]

But. Jpc.

[JPC]

Yes.

[Adol]

Can you get the final and third. The final and third. The third and final one.

[Aaron Keating]

There you go.

[JPC]

And this is gonna be a turkey.

[Adol]

Yes. In bowling, they call this a turkey if you get three strikes. But three strikes you're out in baseball, so make sure you bowl and you don't base.

[JPC]

Can I ask, are we doing baseball rules or are we doing bowling rolls? Cause that's really gonna influence the way that I. Okay. We don't know. I don't know.

[Adol]

I've seen. But this is gonna be the hardest one. And jpc, this is inscrutable. Little monkey bones.

[JPC]

Okay.

[Adol]

Reading a poem on a first date.

[JPC]

Little monkey bones reading a poem on a first date.

[Aaron Keating]

Yeah, do it. Vacation. Do it.

[JPC]

You don't think I can.

[Aaron Keating]

Yeah, do it.

[Adol]

Okay, here's little monkey bones. He doesn't have it.

[JPC]

No, I got it.

[Aaron Keating]

He's lost it.

[Adol]

He's lost it.

[Aaron Keating]

He had too many mocktail mojitos and now he's lost the sauce.

[Adol]

Hello there.

[JPC]

The angel from My nightmare. The shadow in the background of the morgue. The unsuspecting victim of darkness in the Valley. We can live like Jack and Sally if we want.

[Aaron Keating]

Weird choice, little monkey bones. My God, Casey's typing.

[JPC]

All right, fine. They can't all be winners.

[Aaron Keating]

Okay, okay, jpc, this will just be the. We're gonna give you one more.

[JPC]

One more challenge.

[Aaron Keating]

Wait, jpc, did you just Google.

[JPC]

Oh.

[Adol]

Oh, boy. Oh, boy.

[Aaron Keating]

Wait a second detected. Wait a second detected.

[JPC]

You don't think I know the website? You don't think I know the direct link to the genius website for I miss you TPC words? You thought I'd have to go to Google for that?

[Aaron Keating]

Gpc. Gpc. You're gonna kill us.

[JPC]

Are people Googling when they know the website that they're supposed to go to?

[Adol]

Oh, yeah, you Google.

[JPC]

Instead of just going to Wikipedia, I.

[Adol]

Put in Gmail and Google.

[JPC]

Well, you guys are aware of how Google is ruined with AI now, right? Mm, yeah. Well, I would say don't go to Google. I think your first homepage should be Reddit because you're just gonna be ending up getting results from Reddit anyway. That's the only way to not encounter the AI slot. And your second one should just be Wikipedia. Those are the only two things that you need.

[Aaron Keating]

I think that's bad advice.

[Adol]

Yeah. My first website.

[Aaron Keating]

No, I'm never going to tell people to go to Reddit.

[Adol]

First site is next door, and that's where I get all my hot goss.

[JPC]

Honestly, I never was really a big Reddit user, but I would say, well, probably in the last, like three years since owning a home, my number one thing that I look for is Reddit and like, some obscure homeowner thing on Reddit. Because anywhere else you will not. If you go to just, like, YouTube, you'll find slop. But if you go to Reddit, you'll find, like, weird people that are, like, weirdly obsessed about this one thing and, like, a whole community of them that are like, yes, this is the joist that you need to use. And I'm like, okay, you know, you guys are doing it. You guys are doing the Lord's work so I don't have to that.

[Aaron Keating]

What are some of the, like, most fun tips you've learned about being a homeowner? What are some fun facts?

[JPC]

Can I tell you? They're. They're just recently I was, like, noticing on the wall in my kitchen, like, all these, like, weird kind of like cracks that were forming or like cracks in the ceiling, and I was like, oh, no. Like, what the fuck is this? Is this. Like, this. This seems like it's gonna be bad, and it also looks like it's gonna be expensive. And then I went on Reddit, of course, to say like, hey, what. What the fuck is this? And people are like, yeah, that's like your house in the wintertime. Like, it's. It's expanding and contracting and, well, it's drywall. And it's like your drywall basically is. Is panels, you know, so it's like the in between parts of your drywall are just like, kind of like cracking your paint, but they're like, it will ha. It just happens, you know, every. And I was like, it's been very cold. But I was like, have I not noticed that recently? And maybe I just haven't noticed it, but it turns out it was. It was nothing. That's my favorite type of thing as a homeowner. To look up. You're like, ah, no. What the fuck is this going to be? And then you look it up and it's, hey, actually, that's nothing. You don't have to worry about that at all.

[Adol]

And I'm like, you just slather lotion on it.

[Aaron Keating]

Yeah.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Adol]

You guys lotion your walls, right?

[JPC]

You have to clean them first, though. Yeah.

[Adol]

Oh, yeah, Do a few.

[JPC]

You're not doing lotion instead of washing.

[Aaron Keating]

You think I want to make out with a rough wall? You're out of your mind.

[JPC]

Well, Aaron, come on, be honest. You don't want to make out with some goody two shoes wall.

[Adol]

Yeah, Aaron, we all know that you.

[JPC]

Want to wear makeup, but that is.

[Aaron Keating]

Wall with a leather jacket.

[JPC]

Aaron, you're making out with a coat closet wall with a leather jacket. Your kids in the coat closet.

[Adol]

She did date. She date a drywall. And that was like, very British, very British humor.

[Aaron Keating]

Yeah. Which is sort of exhausting after a while. I'm like, be silly. Some physical comedy, please.

[Adol]

Yeah, have some fun.

[JPC]

Be silly.

[Adol]

Like a Mr. Bean situation.

[Aaron Keating]

Actually, I was gonna ask you guys a question, and I realized it's too much of a risk.

[Adol]

Uh oh, dare I ask it?

[Aaron Keating]

Was it ever? You know, I'll ask it like this. I'm gonna ask it like this. I actually figured out how I'm gonna ask it.

[JPC]

Smart.

[Aaron Keating]

When you were, like, in middle school and everyone's at the lunch table and you're all just trying to figure the world out. That's what lunch is when you're an adolescent. You see everyone's just trying to figure it's the Reddit. It was Reddit before Reddit. Right.

[JPC]

That's what lunch is. I like the cafeteria. I'm doing lunch. Wrong. I thought lunch. I thought lunch. Honestly, I thought the key part of lunch was, like, eating.

[Aaron Keating]

No, no, no. That's how you learn about the world. That's how you learn to socialize.

[Adol]

Middle school lunch is akin to. You ever read the book Hatchet?

[JPC]

It's like that Gary Paulson.

[Adol]

You're just dropped in the wilderness, and you're like, I gotta survive. And your feet just start paddling.

[Aaron Keating]

And the part of that book that has haunted me the most is when he realizes that he's been eating the fish that have been eating the dead body of the pilot.

[Adol]

Yeah.

[Aaron Keating]

And that grossed me out so much, I don't think I ate fish for a year.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Aaron Keating]

So that's for everyone's day. That's sort of. Keep you going.

[JPC]

Hatchet has a sequel. Did you ever read the sequel?

[Aaron Keating]

Wait, this is a setup for a joke? Adult.

[JPC]

It's not. Hatchet has a legit sequel.

[Adol]

Okay.

[JPC]

It's called Hatchetu. Here we go again.

[Aaron Keating]

Yes. This is. Okay.

[Adol]

So sort of like Mamma Mia.

[JPC]

The plane starts going down, and the pilot's, like, freaking out, and this kid, 15 years old, cool as a fucking cucumber, just straps his seatbelt in, takes out his hatchet, and goes, here we go again.

[Adol]

This time he's prepared.

[Aaron Keating]

Marrow is wearing overalls, I think, but.

[Adol]

He doesn't know who his dad is.

[JPC]

No, the sequel. There is a sequel. It's like 15 pages. The hatchet kills him on impact. Shouldn't be holding a hatchet in an airplane. Very dangerous.

[Adol]

Poor form.

[Aaron Keating]

So when you are at this middle school table and everyone was talking about kissing and, like, where and when to practice kissing. So everyone was ready, Right? You're exchanging tips and tricks. Did anyone at your table. I regret this. Suggest making out with your shower wall?

[Adol]

No, Aaron, No. Absolutely not at all. You should feel terrible about that.

[Aaron Keating]

I never said I did. I'm just saying someone suggested it. JPC is packing a bindle. Are you gonna run away from the podcast?

[JPC]

I'm actually interested to know, adol, was this your experience? Were people talking? Was this more like something that girls talked about and boys did not talk about? Because I don't think we ever talked about.

[Adol]

We never talked. We were recapping Home Improvement episodes from last night. We were talking about kissing.

[JPC]

Yeah. So I think even when people started kissing, I don't think. No. For whatever reason, like, I think no one Wanted to talk about it. Like, I think the people who were kissing were like kind of ashamed to be doing it.

[Aaron Keating]

Yeah, if you wanted. It was bad on both sides of it. I'd like to see a scene.

[Adol]

Hold on. I do have to ask a question. Aaron, I think you know it's coming.

[Aaron Keating]

Sure.

[Adol]

I think you're on the tracks. The trade is right on top of you. Did you ever make out with your shower wall?

[Aaron Keating]

And I'd like to see a scene. And I'd like to see a scene.

[JPC]

And for once I'd like to see the scene.

[Aaron Keating]

And every time I go home to my parents house, it's so awkward. I'm like, hey, good to see you. How you been?

[JPC]

Thinking about remodeling the bathroom? No. I mean, yes. I mean, whatever, guys. I mean, it's whatever.

[Aaron Keating]

It's whatever. I'd like to see a scene. We are a lunch table at a middle school and adol. You are recapping a home improvement episode for us.

[Adol]

So. And so then. So Jonathan Taylor Thomas had a scare. He thought he had like a bump on his neck. And so. And so Tim the Toolman Taylor was like. And took a drill and was like. And then his wife, whatever her name was, was like, we're not gonna drill his neck. And then Tim Tatooba Taylor looks at the camera and he goes. And then it went to commercial.

[JPC]

What happened after commercial?

[Adol]

Well, the commercial was for. Do you remember bubble tape where it was like six feet of bubble gum for you, not them.

[JPC]

Your teacher. Do we remember?

[Adol]

Well, I mean from last night. From. From the programming last night.

[JPC]

Well, I didn't see it. Rick, that's why you're up.

[Adol]

Yeah, sorry.

[Aaron Keating]

Yeah, that's why you're up.

[Adol]

I'm sorry.

[Aaron Keating]

We're all grounded, Rick, because of what happened at your slumber party. So you are the TV guy this week and I.

[Adol]

And I do a. I apologize for that. I apologize. I thought a seance would be fun and flirty and cool.

[Aaron Keating]

We brought a man back from the dead.

[Adol]

I know. And I'm dealing with it every day. I'm feeding him. I have to take him to the doctor. I.

[JPC]

Okay, Rick, well, thank you for telling us about half an episode of Home Improvement. Okay, that's awesome. Jennifer, you were on Friends last night. What happened?

[Aaron Keating]

Well, I had to watch it through the crack of my bedroom door because again, I'm grounded from bringing a man back from the dead. But it looked like Phoebe was there and it seemed like she was up to some. Something pretty cool.

[JPC]

She's in every episode. Claire, she's on every episode.

[Aaron Keating]

Is that true?

[JPC]

I have to assume. It's like SNL rules. If you don't show up, you don't get paid.

[Aaron Keating]

All right, well, you were on SNL duty. What? What did Adam Sandler do?

[JPC]

It's Thursday. I got. I keep telling you, SNL's a once a week. I'm happy to watch it, but it's a once a week show. If you put me on snl, I can tell you what happened last week. Again.

[Aaron Keating]

Are you just not gonna watch the best of DVDs in the middle of the week?

[Adol]

Tell us about Chris O'Donnell's monologue.

[JPC]

That wasn't the deal. That wasn't the deal. Okay.

[Aaron Keating]

We'Re all a little on edge.

[JPC]

We never should have brought that man back.

[Aaron Keating]

He brought that man back from the table.

[Adol]

Guys, can I just say, he is pissed.

[Aaron Keating]

Why?

[JPC]

Yeah, no shit. Is he showing up at everybody's dreams?

[Adol]

Yeah, well, he said we ripped him out of heaven, okay?

[JPC]

It wasn't heaven. The look in his eyes. It wasn't heaven.

[Aaron Keating]

Well, maybe he would. The look in his eyes was realizing that we ripped him out and. Yeah, we didn't know the rule was once you get ripped out of heaven, you can't go back.

[Adol]

Yeah, we didn't know that. It's not like we knew that.

[JPC]

I just don't think a man who would instantly go from being dead to being back to life, to wanting to hurt children in their dreams doesn't make sense was in heaven. Okay. I just can't believe that.

[Aaron Keating]

Okay, we all decided to bring a dead president back from the dead, and it's all of our responsibility. I don't think we need to be mad at each other.

[JPC]

Okay, well, you know, it sounds like nobody watched tv, so.

[Adol]

Here it comes. Here he comes.

[Aaron Keating]

Here comes.

[JPC]

Children.

[Adol]

Mr. President.

[Aaron Keating]

Mr. President.

[JPC]

Is everyone doing their homework?

[Aaron Keating]

Yes, Mr. President.

[JPC]

Yes, Mr. President.

[Aaron Keating]

Name? What President?

[JPC]

Want to apologize.

[Adol]

Now, that could have only been one of two presidents with the timbre and cadence of his voice.

[JPC]

Yeah. Timber.

[Adol]

We're talking Pierce Ke$ Calvin Coolidge. We're talking Pierce or teft.

[Aaron Keating]

Well, I actually, I do believe that was one of my favorite. Hey, Riddle. Riddle. Scenes of all time. That really had the sauce for me.

[Adol]

Wait, Aaron. Hey, Riddle. Riddle. Oh, riddles.

[JPC]

The podcast.

[Adol]

We should do riddles. I'm old man puzzles. Let's get into some.

[Aaron Keating]

You know, it's a bad sign. When I truly believed we were in a Patreon episode for a second, what would you think?

[JPC]

What Was this Patreon episode about having fun.

[Aaron Keating]

I mean, I'm doing that for my next Patreon episode.

[JPC]

And Aaron turns in her term paper. And the theme is having fun.

[Aaron Keating]

I could write an awesome term paper. We should write papers now. No.

[Adol]

What for?

[Aaron Keating]

Review crew.

[Adol]

Aaron, what is going on?

[JPC]

The quickest Aaron's ever backed off an idea.

[Adol]

Oh, let's write book reports. Aaron. I put that shit. I put that ship. I buried that shit behind me. 20 some years ago, we did that.

[Aaron Keating]

Science one, and that was just enough homework for us.

[JPC]

Can I be honest? I read four books while I was on vacation. And in that time, I was like, thinking about it afterwards, and I was like, I kind of remember reading one big book about four different things. So I think, like, because some people do, like, Goodreads reviews and they do that as like a way or like, what's the movie? One letterbox. Letterbox. And it's like a way for people to, you know, remember how they felt about that thing. Because obviously your feelings about it are going to be stronger right afterwards. And I was like, maybe I do need to do something like that because I can't be reading four books, like, in five years. I could read all four of those books again and be like, huh, Pretty cool.

[Aaron Keating]

Yeah. Jbc, I feel like you have a very funny Letterbox or Goodreads. I feel like if you decided to really indulge in it, you would. Yeah, I would follow you.

[JPC]

My letter box would be me watching only movies in 40x, so my experience would instantly be shot. And then the other ones would be like twice a year. When I watch half of Die Hard.

[Aaron Keating]

On a plane, it's just, you scroll through. It's all Die Hard reviews. There are different stars every time.

[JPC]

I like the idea of it seems like in this review it's 2 stars because you only watched the middle 30 minutes of die Hard.

[Adol]

I like the idea of reviewing movies, only seeing them in 40x, but not saying that in your review. So every review is like, I was on the edge of my seat, I fell out of my chair. It's all descriptions of just being tossed around by a mechanical seat. We're going to do some odd man out riddles or odd word out. So I'm going to give you a few words or they could be phrases, and you're going to tell me which one of them does not belong and why. We've done these before. I think, great.

[JPC]

I just don't think in 2025 it's my place anymore to be saying, who doesn't belong and why. I'll just go on the record now. I think everybody belongs.

[Aaron Keating]

Aw, buddy.

[JPC]

Is that brave?

[Aaron Keating]

You've really changed.

[JPC]

Is that brave?

[Aaron Keating]

Rippy brave.

[Adol]

Yeah, I guess we're gonna sit these out because these were all ethnicities, so. Oh, gosh, we won't do it.

[JPC]

Adam's not really reading the room on his ethnicity.

[Adol]

So the first one here is going to be. For example's sake. This is going to be your appetite, your cool, your marbles, and your bedroom.

[Aaron Keating]

Your bedroom is the odd one out because that's the one thing you can't lose. Joke's on you. You've never been drunk and high at the same time. I can't find my bedroom when I'm had. 15 milligram edible.

[JPC]

Oh, I didn't know the weekend was here. I can't find my bedroom with a hat. Pumpkin. Edible.

[Adol]

Next one is Eleanor Rigby. Mrs. Robinson.

[JPC]

Uh, oh.

[Adol]

Lady Madonna and lovely Rita.

[Aaron Keating]

Mrs. Robinson.

[Adol]

Okay.

[Aaron Keating]

Why she is not a character in a Beatles song.

[Adol]

Aaron. That is correct.

[JPC]

I knew the Beatles were involved in this answer, but I couldn't. I guess Mrs. Robinson, I would have been able to say is pretty confidently not a Beatles song.

[Adol]

I do want to see a scene. Jpc. You are Ringo. Aaron, you are someone who's been dating Ringo for a few weeks, and you're a little upset because a few albums have come out in the last couple weeks and there's been no song with your name.

[Aaron Keating]

Hey, Ringo, do you have a minute?

[JPC]

Oh, yeah, I was just staring at my drumsticks trying to see if I could get some inspiration.

[Aaron Keating]

Yeah, I.

[JPC]

What about, like, dumb, dumb? Oh, it'll come to me. I should have written it down.

[Aaron Keating]

Ringo, how would you write down a drum sound?

[JPC]

What would that even look like?

[Aaron Keating]

I feel like, I think famously people can write down drum parts. Yeah.

[JPC]

Wait, there's like, sheet music for drums?

[Aaron Keating]

Yeah, there is.

[JPC]

Oh, boy.

[Aaron Keating]

I'm gonna.

[JPC]

I guess I got a lot to.

[Aaron Keating]

Learn next to you. Hey, so I would consider our. That's a chair. Oh, God.

[JPC]

Oh, I thought that was a drum.

[Aaron Keating]

Ringo, honey, focus.

[JPC]

I've been playing it like a hi hat.

[Aaron Keating]

Look at me. Look at me.

[JPC]

Hey, you're here.

[Aaron Keating]

There we go. Yay. Look at me. Yes, I would consider.

[JPC]

How long have you been here? What's that?

[Aaron Keating]

Several minutes. I consider our love story. Sort of like a sweeping, beautiful love story story. We're really in love. You'd agree? Yeah.

[JPC]

Agree. Yes. I'd say we're in love.

[Aaron Keating]

I noticed your new album came out in the song the Beatles. Yeah, the Beatles, buddy.

[JPC]

Yeah, I'm one of the members.

[Aaron Keating]

Yeah. It's really cool, huh?

[JPC]

They said it's not about who's 1, 2, 3, or 4.

[Aaron Keating]

You're 4. You're for sure 4.

[JPC]

They just said it's all four of us.

[Aaron Keating]

Yeah, yeah, but you're four and that's okay.

[JPC]

Where am I on the position on the album cover where we're all walking.

[Aaron Keating]

Across the road and I don't know for sure, but spiritually you're always four. Okay. So we took a bunch of pictures.

[JPC]

With me in the lead.

[Aaron Keating]

I noticed they said, ringo, go to.

[JPC]

The front for this photo.

[Aaron Keating]

The songs you seem to pitch are sort of pitch.

[JPC]

I have to write that down. That could be good for some of my songs.

[Aaron Keating]

Like Octopus Garden.

[JPC]

That's one of mine.

[Aaron Keating]

Yeah, yeah. That's not about lying.

[JPC]

That's one of my songs.

[Aaron Keating]

You just seem to not. You don't really like write anything political. Your stuff is sort of like trippy drug fueled nonsense. Even the stuff you say, they get turned into songs like it's been a hard day. Or like, I think you said, it's been a hard day's night.

[JPC]

Hard days. That one has drums in it. I got to play.

[Aaron Keating]

I think a lot of them do, buddy.

[JPC]

Most of them do. Paul goes somewhere, he says he doesn't need me.

[Aaron Keating]

Yeah, he writes a lot of the songs.

[Adol]

See, I love Ringo's date. Talking to him like a teacher who's like, what do we. Oh, what do we have here? What are you drawing? That's the sky. Can I just say, if I was in the Beatles and I was the drummer, and Paul is asked, is Ringo the best drummer in the world? And he says he's not even the best drummer. And the Beatles. I'm fucking walking. Yeah, I'm walking.

[Aaron Keating]

He's not wrong.

[Adol]

Brutal.

[Aaron Keating]

When you watch get back on Disney plus, you go. Paul was doing a lot of the heavy lifting on this and everyone kind of knew that. But I'm like, he really. He was the one. He's first on the call sheet, I think. Even though George is my favorite Beatle.

[JPC]

Same if you're Ringo, though, you're not walking. I mean. Cause you know it's true, right? You're not. You're not like. You don't have delusions of grandeur here. Aaron's not walking off a. Hey, riddle, riddle. You know what I'm saying?

[Aaron Keating]

What does that mean?

[JPC]

You guys figured out Aaron.

[Aaron Keating]

You guys could be a better Aaron.

[JPC]

It's a one to one. What does it mean?

[Adol]

Oh, shit. She's. Aaron's walking. Oh, Aaron. Oh, shit. Okay, this has never happened before. What do we.

[JPC]

Aaron's not even the best Aaron. On. Hey, Riddle. Riddle. What are we talking about?

[Aaron Keating]

What are you saying?

[Adol]

We have a guest today. Should we. We've kind of been lagging here. Erin Brockovich. Do you want to say hello?

[Aaron Keating]

Hello. No.

[Adol]

Hi, I'm Erin Brockovich.

[JPC]

Aaron Screaves.

[Aaron Keating]

No, no, no. Just sort of elbow you in the larynx.

[JPC]

I feel like Erin Brockovich can't be that soft spoken. Right? Isn't she kind of brassy?

[Aaron Keating]

Yeah, she's kind of bold. Yes. Okay. Sorry. You think I am the Ringo of. Hey, Riddle. Riddle.

[Adol]

We think you're the Rango.

[Aaron Keating]

I will actually.

[Adol]

Wow. Jvz. Wow. We've melded into one brain.

[Aaron Keating]

Oh, God.

[JPC]

One brain cell. We got two minute, one brain.

[Aaron Keating]

You guys are a two headed monster and I'm the one that balances it out. Yeah, I'm irritating. Yeah, I'm annoying. Yeah, I sing on mic or get my period on mic. Yeah, I do all these things, but without me.

[JPC]

Lucky Mike.

[Adol]

But you make out with your wall.

[Aaron Keating]

What does that mean?

[Adol]

Who knows? Oh, I have one here.

[Aaron Keating]

I miss wall.

[Adol]

I miss wall. How about postage stamps, toilet paper, film and bacon?

[Aaron Keating]

They all belong. You lick all of them? Huh?

[Adol]

You lick toilet paper?

[Aaron Keating]

What?

[JPC]

Arid they all have a skin.

[Aaron Keating]

Can you read it again?

[JPC]

They're all a type of skin.

[Adol]

What? Postage stamps, toilet paper, film and bacon.

[Aaron Keating]

Bacon doesn't belong, Aaron.

[Adol]

You're right. But do you know why bacon doesn't belong?

[Aaron Keating]

Yeah, because.

[JPC]

Do you put the rest. The rest of them you like, you get wet, right? Or you put them in water?

[Adol]

I guess film. In a dark room you might.

[JPC]

Yeah. Like in a dark room you lick a stamp and you put the toilet. I don't want to be disgusting, but I put the toilet paper in the toilet and it gets wet. Ew. I didn't know a better way to say it. To not be disgusting. I just. That's how I treat it.

[Aaron Keating]

Fucking gross.

[JPC]

That's how I use it.

[Adol]

I would argue that bacon gets wet to some degree.

[JPC]

Well, yeah, but how? And what?

[Adol]

The oils and fats that come out while you're cooking it. The sizzles and the pops and the grease.

[Aaron Keating]

Can we have a hint?

[Adol]

Bacon is correct. The other three posted stamps, toilet paper and film, they all typically come.

[Aaron Keating]

Bacon comes.

[JPC]

Casey, hit the sound effect. I can't imagine doing a bad improv show.

[Aaron Keating]

Put a balloon in my ass. It's a clown. Off.

[Adol]

Aaron, say the answer again.

[Aaron Keating]

They all come in a roll.

[Adol]

They all come in a roll. Except for bacon. Oh, bacon should come in a roll.

[JPC]

Wow. Bacon roll. Take me to your sushi.

[Adol]

How about Tabasco? Chihuahua, Burrito, Durango.

[JPC]

Tabasco.

[Aaron Keating]

These are all fun words to say.

[Adol]

These are all very fun words.

[JPC]

Burrito and Durango. Well, I'll say Durango, Mexico.

[Adol]

Durango is incorrect.

[JPC]

Oh, boy. Because Durango is the only one. I don't know what a Durango is.

[Aaron Keating]

Dodge.

[JPC]

But I don't know what a Durango is.

[Adol]

That's right. They're all Dodges. So there's a Dodge, Tabasco, Dodge, Chihuahua, Dodge Burrito, and a Dodge Durango.

[JPC]

It's not Durango. Okay. Tabasco sauce, Chihuahua cheese. You said Chihuahua, right? Burrito.

[Aaron Keating]

Burrito's the odd man out.

[Adol]

Burrito is the odd one out. Do you know why I'm going through a tunnel?

[Aaron Keating]

I'm cutting out.

[Adol]

Aaron. Oh, I guess Aaron, she's. We'll assume she said the right answer.

[JPC]

Yeah, I mean.

[Aaron Keating]

Ooh. Coming out the other side of the tunnel. Wow. Exactly. Go back into the tunnel.

[JPC]

Very tunnel. Y. Part of California, I guess. I don't really think there was mini tunnels there. Maybe she's going through one of those old gold mines.

[Aaron Keating]

What's the next riddle?

[Adol]

When she goes through a tunnel, should I just hop on the mic again or.

[Aaron Keating]

And I'm gonna just shove Erin Brockovich.

[JPC]

This way and Brockovich.

[Aaron Keating]

Scooch. Scooch. Erin Brockovich. Scooch.

[JPC]

We kind of brought you because we thought you'd be a little feistier, honestly.

[Aaron Keating]

Scooch. Erin Brockovich. She's not scooching.

[Adol]

I've got moves you've never seen.

[JPC]

There we go. That's the Erin Brockovich I know and love.

[Aaron Keating]

I'm fucked.

[Adol]

Aaron, you're right. The answer is Burrito. Because the other three are states in Mexico.

[Aaron Keating]

Didn't I say that?

[Adol]

I think you're going through a tunnel.

[Aaron Keating]

Oh, yeah.

[Adol]

Okay.

[JPC]

Chihuahua is a state in Mexico.

[Adol]

Oh, yeah.

[JPC]

Is that where the cheese comes from?

[Adol]

Where the cheese and the dog come from?

[JPC]

Where the cheese and the dog come from. That sounds like a cheese shirt.

[Adol]

The cheese and the dog play. And the cheese comes from the dog.

[JPC]

Oh, don't tell me that. That's basically going to ruin the whole dog for me. I'm not going to stop eating it.

[Adol]

We'll do one more before break here. So this one is Barack, Shaquille, Beyonce. Aristotle. Barack, Shaquille, Beyonce. Aristotle.

[JPC]

Okay. Beyonce. Because the other ones Are dudes.

[Adol]

You got Beyonce. Right. But not the reason why.

[JPC]

Got a reason why? Oh, they're all Durangos.

[Adol]

They're all very different types of durangos.

[Aaron Keating]

Aristotle, Shaquille O'Neal and Barack Obama.

[JPC]

He said walk into a Barack. Shaquille and Aristotle. Just the first names, right?

[Aaron Keating]

Yeah, I know, but I'm saying, I assume that those are who we're talking about.

[Adol]

Aaron, you are on the right track.

[Aaron Keating]

They walk into a bar, the bartender.

[Adol]

Says, we're not with that.

[Aaron Keating]

Oh, oh, okay.

[JPC]

Does Aristotle have an O apostrophe? Last name?

[Adol]

Not the Aristotle you might be thinking of, but a different Aristotle.

[JPC]

Oh, there's a different Aristotle. Damn it. I don't know any other Aristotle's.

[Aaron Keating]

You guys, someone's gonna name their kid Aristotle. Now, can you imagine a fucking kindergartner with like, chocolate on his face?

[JPC]

Wait, Adol.

[Aaron Keating]

Let's do it, gang.

[JPC]

Is this a modern celebrity whose name is Aristotle?

[Adol]

Celebrity might be a strong term, but it's someone who was very well known, married this Aristotle, and this Aristotle was well known, but maybe not as well known as their spouse.

[Aaron Keating]

I've stopped listening to the riddle. I'm writing down that the name of my son is Socrates.

[JPC]

Wait, wait, is it Aristotle Onassis?

[Adol]

You got it.

[JPC]

Wow. I truly did not remember that that man's name was Aristotle.

[Adol]

Wasn't there an Aristotle on SNL recently? I thought there was like a one and done guy.

[JPC]

If there was an Aristotle on SNL recently, let's see. I haven't watched SNL in 25 years.

[Adol]

You didn't watch when Luke was on?

[JPC]

I didn't watch when Luke was on because Luke was never on. So it would have been a huge waste of my time to watch for Luke. I watched the show when Aaron was auditioning. Yeah, when Aaron was auditioning. I definitely.

[Aaron Keating]

My biggest fear is that footage still existing. I think about that every day. I want. If we ever do a heist, I think it should be as the three of us breaking into 30 Rock and.

[Adol]

Destroying that tape they showed it on. I guess Bill Hader has it and he shows it to all his friends and they all point and laugh.

[Aaron Keating]

And that is an honor.

[JPC]

And I guess Topher Grace got a hold of it, and I guess he does private recut screenings where he re edits it in a way that he thinks it should have been done.

[Aaron Keating]

Oh, cool.

[JPC]

We know about this, right? We know about this. It doesn't matter.

[Adol]

Christopher Grace, please.

[JPC]

Oh, please.

[Adol]

So Aristotle, what was the last name?

[Aaron Keating]

Onassis.

[JPC]

Onassis, yeah.

[Adol]

Shaquille O'Neil.

[Aaron Keating]

They have O last names.

[Adol]

Yep. And then Beyonce Knowles. So the reason Beyonce's the odd person.

[Aaron Keating]

Out, she won a Grammy last night. Maybe a couple Grammys last night.

[JPC]

Well, maybe not last night. Well, she's not Irish.

[Adol]

She's the only one. Shaquille O'Neal.

[JPC]

There's a. I think people know about this because I think Conan O'Brien went and visited it. But there's, like, a Barack Obama gas station somewhere in Ireland that my friend visited, and he brought me back a. A refrigerator magnet that says Obama Plaza, or whatever the thing is called. And it's got a big picture of Ronald Reagan on it because apparently they sell memorabilia of any US President that has any connection to Ireland.

[Aaron Keating]

And it's, like, hilarious. Joe Biden's your favorite president of all time. Ronald Reagan.

[JPC]

He's up there. He's gotta be up there. I don't agree with anything he did economically or socially.

[Adol]

But you loved his movies.

[JPC]

Politically. God, I love the power. The. Yeah, but I. So I think. Yeah, so that's. I do. I do have a refrigerator magnet of Ronald Reagan that every once in a while, someone will see and say, hey, why do you have this? Because I love it.

[Adol]

Well, let's go ahead and try and resurrect Ronald Reagan.

[Aaron Keating]

No, no.

[Adol]

And we'll be right back after we bring him back.

[JPC]

Would he resurrect with dementia? That would be awful.

[Adol]

Dancy. Nancy. No, we're not fucking Nancy.

[JPC]

Yeah. Hollywood was. You know what I'm saying?

[Aaron Keating]

Oh, brother.

[JPC]

She was a throat goat. Aaron.

[Aaron Keating]

Hello. I am a president from the past. My name is William H. Hold that. Now, Macy. No, that's an actor.

[Adol]

Oh, Reagan was an actor.

[JPC]

Now, Mr. President, you're standing kind of behind a big armoire, so we can't quite make out which president you are. Is that on purpose or.

[Adol]

Never heard somebody say armoire like that?

[Aaron Keating]

I maybe am one of your beloved co hosts that sort of had to piece together a president costume at the last second. So I'm sort of like if a bunch of presidents melted together. And I'm here to celebrate the Helix President Day. Sale. Sale. Sale. Sale.

[JPC]

Oh, okay. I thought for a second, I thought, we're gonna have to learn about American history, but all you're gonna tell us is about the history that we as Americans have with our favorite mattress brand, Helix.

[Adol]

Oh, yeah. Helix gives you the most presidential sleep. I mean, I could sleep for four years. I could sleep for eight years on my Helix.

[JPC]

But no more.

[Aaron Keating]

But no more. Unless you're fdr, which I have part of his wig on my head as well.

[JPC]

Part of his wig.

[Aaron Keating]

I sleep on a midnight luxe because it suits my sleep needs. All I had to do was take a little quiz and tell them what I was all about, and they match me with the perfect mattress. I've had it for years, and I'm obsessed with it every time a guest stays at my house, one recently said that I have the best mattress they've ever slept in. And that is true.

[JPC]

And I personally, I know that bed burglars aren't a thing. And that would be like a burglar who specifically comes into your home to just take your bed. But if bed burglars were a thing, I don't even think I'd be that mad, because I would love to get another Helix mattress. I'm just, like, begging for a chance to get me another Helix mattress in my house. That's how much I love my Helix mattress.

[Adol]

Yeah, I'm pretty obsessed. Gemma and I have the best sleep we've ever had on our Helix sleep. And also, our four cats love it too. They sleep with us now, which they used to not do.

[JPC]

And just so we're clear, Adol did not order a mattress full of cats. He had the cats. The mattresses are not stuffed with cats.

[Aaron Keating]

I cut down an apple tree.

[Adol]

Did you really?

[JPC]

Oh, boy. We got to get you a book, Mr. President. Hey, speaking of presidents, there's a big president sale happening right now at Helix Mattress that includes 27% off site wide, plus two free Dream Pillows with mattress purchase, plus free bedding bundle, which is two dream pillows, the sheet set, and the mattress protector with any luxe or elite mattress order, just go to helixsleep.com riddle for their President's Day sale. That's helixsleep.com riddle for their big President's Day sale.

[Adol]

Helixsleep.com riddle for mattresses so comfortable even Taft would sleep would fall asleep on them.

[Aaron Keating]

I'm Willian. I'm William Henry Taft the third. And you can quote me on that. William. William Henry Harris.

[JPC]

Casey in the ad. Casey in the ad.

[Aaron Keating]

Casey, Taft, Casey prize ad. Back open. No, I'm Abraham William Henry.

[JPC]

No. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace.

[Adol]

Hey there, kids. My name is Dr. Shapes.

[Aaron Keating]

Love the vibe of whatever.

[JPC]

This is an. Okay. I was actually kind of feeling a little old today, so.

[Adol]

Oh, feeling a little old. Then I better prescribe you a square. And for you, young lady, a triangle. But let's go back to the square. Squarespace.

[JPC]

Got it. Okay, cool. Yeah, no, I would love a Squarespace. Now is it the Squarespace that I'm familiar with, which is the all in one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and succeed online? You know, whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand, Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website, engage with your audience and sell anything from products to content to time, all in one place. All in your terms. That's the one I'm familiar with.

[Adol]

Wow. I'm the patient now.

[Aaron Keating]

And doctor, that is crazy timing because they just introduced design intelligence from Squarespace. Combining two decades of industry leading design expertise with cutting edge AI technology to unlock your strongest creative potential. Design intelligence empowers anyone to build a beautiful, more personalized website tailored to their unique needs and craft a bespoke digital identity to use across one's entire online presence.

[Adol]

Wow. I'm going to prescribe you a square as well.

[JPC]

Hold on now.

[Adol]

This is working out well.

[JPC]

Doctor, what exactly is your expertise? Because it seems like we're just kind of like we're listing off some stuff that we know about Squarespace. But you're a doctor.

[Aaron Keating]

Shapes for kids to eat. It's a very clear premise. Keep going.

[Adol]

I got my PhD in shapes. Then you better shape up and get yourself a Squarespace website. See?

[JPC]

Okay, I guess so. Squarespace payments is the easiest way to manage your payments all in one place. With Squarespace, onboarding is fast and simple. You can get started in just a few clicks and start receiving payments right away. Plus, you can give your customers more ways to pay with popular payment methods like Klarna, Ach, Direct Debit, Apple Pay, afterpay, and Clearpay.

[Aaron Keating]

And doctor, do you know you can connect major social and multimedia accounts to your website in a few clicks as icons, direct links or embedded feeds? Build visitor trust while updating content only where you need it, extending your brand's footprint. Sellers can also sync their product catalog directly with Instagram, Facebook, YouTube and Google to reach more customers and reduce the steps for a purchase. Does that make sense?

[Adol]

Dark, two shapes, total sense and a little hammer on the knee.

[Aaron Keating]

Ah.

[Adol]

And let me. Oh, I wrote you a prescription, but I see you can't read my handwriting. Here's what it says.

[Aaron Keating]

It's all shapes.

[Adol]

You got it, but let me translate it for you. Head to squarespace.com for a free trial and when you're ready to launch squarespace.com riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain, Dr.

[Aaron Keating]

Shape. Can I have like a hundred circles?

[Adol]

What do you need? Them for? Are you going to stack them and make a cylinder?

[Aaron Keating]

Yes. Hi, I'm Kat. And I'm Pat. We're from Seek Treatment podcast and we're here to talk about Blue Land. Do you know what I'm so about right now, Pat? What?

[JPC]

Tell me. Do not not tell me.

[Aaron Keating]

Well, ready for this? I just heard that we're eating and drinking roughly a credit card's worth of plastic a week. Yeah, that's right. Oh, my God. I know. The products we're using are contaminating our water supply, generating hundreds of microplastics that we're eating. So here's the good news. You're never going to believe this. Blueland is doing something about it. They're eliminating the need for single use plastic in the products we reach for the most.

[JPC]

From cleaning sprays to hand soap, toilet bowl cleaner and laundry tablets, all Blueland products are made with clean ingredients that you can feel good about. Blueland is trusted in over 1 million homes, including mine.

[Aaron Keating]

That's correct. They offer refillable cleaning products with a beautiful cohesive design that looks great on your counter. And refills started just $2.25. You can even set up a subscription or buy in bulk for additional savings. I use my Blue Land spray today. I cleaned my dirty, dirty, dirty yoga mat with my Blueland all purpose spray today. It smelled, it got the job done, and the bottle looked beautiful while doing it.

[JPC]

Blue Land has a special offer for listeners right now.

[Aaron Keating]

Get 15% off your first order by going to blueland.com/save15. You won't want to miss this. Blueland.com/save15 for 15% off. That's blueland.com/save 15. To get 15% off, get the Angel.

[JPC]

Reef Special at McDonald's. Now let's break it down. My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions, and a sesame seed bun, of course. And don't forget the fries and the drinks. Sound good? I participate in restaurants for a limited time.

[Adol]

And we're back. And we. Oh, boy. We did manage to resurrect Reagan. He's just kind of sitting here. Hey, buddy.

[Aaron Keating]

Hey, buddy.

[Adol]

Hey, buddy. Well, yeah. Well, well, well, well, well, well.

[Aaron Keating]

Okay, well, we're gonna go back to doing riddles. We'll talk to you in a minute.

[JPC]

Did I have some tea?

[Aaron Keating]

No, no, no, no. Absolutely no.

[JPC]

You cannot. No, you may not.

[Adol]

You cannot. I think you liked jelly beans.

[JPC]

May I have some tea? Gotta teach him everything. He just came back to life. Gotta teach him everything again.

[Aaron Keating]

Yeah, I think he probably was this.

[JPC]

We'll check in on Ronald Reagan a little later in the episode.

[Aaron Keating]

Yeah, we'll check in on him a little later. But for now.

[Adol]

And check in on me as.

[Aaron Keating]

Check in on me as well, Aaron Brockovich. Yes, we will check in. You guys should all sit over there. We're here.

[JPC]

Aaron, why don't you sit with Regan, and just.

[Aaron Keating]

If you meet.

[JPC]

No, no, Erin. I'd be there. Brockovich, you're.

[Aaron Keating]

Okay.

[JPC]

You do the show, Erin Brockovich. You sit with Ronald Reagan, and we'll just.

[Adol]

Yeah, okay.

[JPC]

And try to talk quietly.

[Adol]

Mm.

[Aaron Keating]

And, Casey, can you just have them be mumbling, talking to each other sort of in the background the rest of the episode? So stupid.

[JPC]

However you want to do that, Casey. We're not gonna really help with that, but however you wanna help. However you wanna do. Just mumbling throughout the rest of the episode.

[Adol]

Finally, a Heyrin riddle episode with 30 minutes of Erin Brockovich Reagan mumbling in the background.

[Aaron Keating]

Wait, guys, I actually think we did an episode like this in 2020.

[JPC]

We truly have to have already done this episode. Don't come. Don't come. Be like 156. They did the Ronald Reagan, Erin Brockovich mumbling thing. Yeah, we know. We get it. We're fine.

[Adol]

I just laughed so hard my contact came out.

[JPC]

I love that.

[Aaron Keating]

Oh, I love that. Do you need a minute?

[JPC]

This does happen with adol. Aaron, how many times do you think that this has happened since we've known ADOL that he laughed so hard his contact came out?

[Aaron Keating]

I think this is the second time.

[JPC]

I was gonna say under five, so. Yeah, I think we're both. We're in the ballpark here. I wonder if it's hard for him to put his contact back in while we're screaming.

[Adol]

It's not easy.

[JPC]

You get it back if I laugh.

[Adol]

Too hard, either my contact falls out or my condom falls off.

[Aaron Keating]

No, you will better say than sorry.

[Adol]

And I will take questions.

[Aaron Keating]

I think I'm good.

[JPC]

My ass at the Walgreens. You got the Magnum contacts? Yeah. I got pretty big eyes.

[Adol]

I got pretty big eyes. I got a Tim Burton. What was that movie with the big. Anyway, what's the.

[JPC]

What's the.

[Adol]

This is gonna be a bit of a tougher one. Are we ready for it? Are we ready for a tough one?

[JPC]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Adol]

Which is the odd one out? And there's gonna be more than three. I think there's gonna be five here.

[Aaron Keating]

Ooh.

[JPC]

But still only one is odd out.

[Adol]

Yep, only one is the odd one out. Catwoman. Deus ex Machina, Parishioner, Pyromania and Scuba.

[JPC]

Hmm.

[Adol]

Catwoman, Deus ex Machina, Parishioner, Pyromania and scuba.

[JPC]

Scuba is an acronym, right? Self Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus. Is that an acronym or an initialism? I never remember an acronym. Catwoman is also an acronym.

[Aaron Keating]

Oh, for what?

[Adol]

And go ahead and give us that full acronym.

[JPC]

Yeah, great. Catwoman. This was a kinky ass. Tall woman on mini. A nipple.

[Adol]

Wow. So close.

[Aaron Keating]

Huh?

[Adol]

So close.

[JPC]

Wait, did I not get it? Well, kinky. I was out on one.

[Aaron Keating]

Can you read it one more time? Adel, I'm so sorry.

[Adol]

Catwoman, Deus ex Machina, Parishioner, Pyromania and Scuba. And I'll give you a hint because this is pretty tough. There's something contained in all the words I'm going to say. Deus ex machina is just, you know, a word or all the options here. There's something contained within them. But one of the things contained within is different from the other four.

[Aaron Keating]

Hmm.

[Adol]

Catwoman, Deus ex Machina, and Deus ex machina is a tricky one because what you're looking for within that is not pronounced the way.

[JPC]

Got it.

[Adol]

It normally would be Parishioner, Pyromania, Scuba. Scuba is probably the easiest one to try and locate. What's going on inside these options?

[JPC]

Okay. Scuba Kuba.

[Adol]

Yep.

[JPC]

That's going to be a nation.

[Aaron Keating]

Yeah. There's countries inside of the.

[JPC]

Yes. Catwoman, Catwa.

[Aaron Keating]

But is Catwoman the odd one out?

[JPC]

Well, we don't know. Let's move on to pyromania.

[Aaron Keating]

Romania.

[JPC]

Romania.

[Adol]

You got it. So you got Cuba, you got Romania.

[JPC]

What's the next one?

[Adol]

Parishioner, Deus ex machina.

[Aaron Keating]

Peru. No, Parishioner. How do you spell parishioner?

[Adol]

P, A, R, I, S. Paris.

[JPC]

Wait, Paris is not a country.

[Aaron Keating]

So that one's the album.

[JPC]

So it's gotta be that one.

[Adol]

Wow. You got it. You didn't even have to do the last two.

[JPC]

Deus ex Machina. What's that one?

[Adol]

That's a tough one because it's China at the end of Machina. And then Catwoman is Oman. Oman.

[JPC]

Oman.

[Adol]

Isn't that a fun one?

[JPC]

Yeah, that is a fun one. And it was hard to do because I think if I was looking at the words, it would have been 1 million percent easier.

[Aaron Keating]

Yeah. Amen.

[JPC]

Oman.

[Aaron Keating]

Oh, nice.

[Adol]

I do want to see a scene. Aaron, you are Catwoman, but the Catwoman, The Paris version of Catwoman. The Parisian Catwoman. And jpc. You're a tourist who has Just been. Boy, I don't want to say saved because. Does Catwoman save people?

[JPC]

She saves cats, probably.

[Adol]

Yeah. I feel like jpc. You're just someone who happened to see her out on her nightly sort of routine.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Adol]

And you're happy, and then she sees that you saw her.

[JPC]

Gotcha. Hey, don't want to blow up your spot, but big fan. And you have a good night. And thank you for what you do. No, no, no. Parlour, Francais. English. Big, big fan. Big fan. Big fan of French.

[Aaron Keating]

Oh, you know, if you're Catwoman, you like, you like my work?

[JPC]

We, we, we, we. Catwoman.

[Aaron Keating]

Sit, sit, sit.

[JPC]

Oh, have a drink. Yeah. Okay. Yes. I was just kind of walking by. I didn't want to distract. Disturb you.

[Aaron Keating]

No, no, I'm not working. I never work. I work two days a year. I do a backflip out of window, and then I call it a year. And I sort of eat, drink, conversation. Like this. Yes, sure.

[JPC]

Okay. I'm actually on my way to a date right now, but I think I cancel it.

[Aaron Keating]

With you. With you.

[JPC]

It's no one. It's my fiance. It's stupid.

[Aaron Keating]

Oh, no, it's beautiful. Did you meet her?

[JPC]

Well, she's from here. And I am a. I'm a member of the US Military. Well, I'm an interpreter. Bonjour.

[Aaron Keating]

Hey, it is the Batman.

[JPC]

Yeah, you settled me. Hey, I'm down here, buddy. I was invited to sit.

[Aaron Keating]

So, we meet again. Batman.

[Adol]

Catwoman.

[JPC]

Yeah. I'm interrupting.

[Aaron Keating]

No, no, no, no. We're just going to Dr.

[JPC]

Oh, boy. Not the way I always thought about it happening, but yeah. And in your experience, if I got a French fiance, she'd probably be fine with this, right?

[Aaron Keating]

It's offensive to say such things as that.

[JPC]

Wait, what's offensive?

[Aaron Keating]

Oh, boy. That one was right on the line, guys. Right on the line.

[JPC]

It's funny because I don't speak any French, but I took way more French when I was in school than I did Spanish. But I also just got back from a week in Mexico, so my brain is, like, very accustomed to, like, speaking rudimentary, like, tourist Spanish. And I was like, I, I, I can't. I really know zero words in French right now. I know some words in Spanish that I could be using.

[Adol]

El gato woman.

[JPC]

Elgato woman. Yeah, El gato means fat. So, whoops, you're looking for El gordo woman.

[Adol]

Oh, muy feo.

[JPC]

Yeah. Me fucking this guy's whole life up whenever he tries to drop that out.

[Adol]

El banyo man would Be Batman, I believe. Let's go with. All right, we have.

[JPC]

It's Moy Caliente.

[Adol]

Which is the odd one out? Cubit, Ace, Freo, Cubit, Angstrom, Rod and bushel.

[JPC]

Angstrom. Angstrom's got to be the odd one out.

[Adol]

Okay. And why so?

[JPC]

Well, a cubit is in a bushel and a rod are all measurements, right?

[Adol]

Yeah.

[Aaron Keating]

Is that the answer?

[Adol]

No.

[JPC]

I don't know what an angstrom is. Angstrom also a measurement.

[Adol]

I mean, you're definitely on the right track, but I don't want to.

[JPC]

Okay.

[Adol]

Can't really answer.

[JPC]

A cubit is a measure of distance, and I think a rod is a measure of distance. A bushel, I think, is a measure of weight or.

[Aaron Keating]

Yeah. So bushel can't. I think bushel's the odd one out.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Adol]

And why so.

[Aaron Keating]

Because it's a measure of weight and not.

[JPC]

Or not. It says at least not.

[Aaron Keating]

Not distance.

[Adol]

Yes. So the other three are units of length, and bushel is a capacity equal to 8 gallons, not length. These are all.

[Aaron Keating]

I only hear that in the context of hay. And so do you measure hay in gallons? That's ridiculous.

[Adol]

I think so. I think horses drink hay, right?

[JPC]

That's way too much hay for me. Can you drink a gallon of hay?

[Aaron Keating]

Gpc.

[JPC]

Gallon of hay. Challenge.

[Aaron Keating]

You are a horse, and you had a particularly hard week, and you're pulling up to the bar to order a glass of hay.

[JPC]

What'll it be?

[Adol]

Sorry?

[JPC]

What'll it be?

[Adol]

Uh, what'll it be? Uh, gpc.

[Aaron Keating]

You're the horse ordering the hay.

[Adol]

I'm the bartender.

[Aaron Keating]

Let's reset. Everyone safely back to one. Vacation. Got a little confused back there. We call you vacation.

[Adol]

What a social experiment to go to a bartender to say, what'll it be?

[Aaron Keating]

And action.

[JPC]

What'll it be? What the fuck?

[Aaron Keating]

What the fuck, Aaron, we only have this one film. We can't. We can't cut. We can't cut. We can't cut.

[Adol]

Well, I'll play a horse.

[Aaron Keating]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Back. Go back to the seat. Go back to your seat.

[JPC]

If anyone's playing a horse, it'll be me.

[Aaron Keating]

Aaron, sit down. Erin Brockovich. You sit. You sit down. Aaron Brock.

[JPC]

I was speaking to myself. I was saying what'll it be? As an inner monologue.

[Adol]

Oh, okay. So I stepped on his line. I stepped on his line. Okay, here we go. From the top.

[JPC]

What do you mean, from the top?

[Aaron Keating]

Can't. We can't go back to the top. We ran out of film. Oh, I could Put a roll of toilet paper in there.

[JPC]

Do I. Does a horse also kind of sound like Ronald Reagan?

[Adol]

Okay, Aaron's shoving a roll of bacon into the camera. That's gonna ruin that camera. Can't get the deposit. That's a $2,400 deposit. I lost. Okay.

[Aaron Keating]

And keep going.

[Adol]

Why the long face to everyone in the bar? Why the long face, Batman?

[JPC]

Are you Horse Batman scene?

[Aaron Keating]

Wow. Wow. Guys, I'm gonna spend a whole Patreon episode where we sort of dissect that in terms of what went wrong. What do we learn?

[JPC]

What went wrong, what went happened. I can't imagine doing a bad improv show now.

[Adol]

Horse Batman. A cape doesn't make sense. Right, because that would just cover his body.

[JPC]

So much of what Batman has going on is not going to be a one to one in a horse context. We're going to have to change a lot to make horse Batman work.

[Adol]

So Horse Batman. Okay, this is interesting. This is interesting.

[JPC]

Horse Joker's a clear one to one. It just works.

[Adol]

But Horse Joker, easy. Yeah, that's you slow.

[JPC]

Slot that right in. If we get Horse Batman nailed down, Horse Joker's just going to fall into the page. You know what I'm saying?

[Adol]

Yeah. He can't have a grappling belt around his waist because that's just going to shoot straight down. So in sort of an upright, ambulatory Batman, that the grappling hook shoots outward because his, you know, his waist is facing out towards an opponent. But with a horse, the waist faces down.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Adol]

So this is going to be okay.

[JPC]

Okay. So it's. It's Batman.

[Adol]

Yeah.

[JPC]

But a horse.

[Adol]

Yes. And his butler is Alf Alfred. Because I think horses eat alfalfa. So Alf, Alfred is his butler for sure.

[Aaron Keating]

It's absolutely beautiful to see you two work. Absolutely beautiful to see you.

[JPC]

I know you've been asking me to write a song for you, and I finally. I finally done it. Ringo finally cracked the code.

[Aaron Keating]

Ringo, it's nap time, though. Okay? So you can tell me right at your lap time.

[JPC]

I finally had an idea, and I've got your song.

[Aaron Keating]

You're trying. This happens every day before nap time.

[JPC]

I don't think it'd go. Of course like you think it would. Oh, forgot to put your name in there.

[Aaron Keating]

Hmm.

[JPC]

Could it rhyme with wood?

[Adol]

What if her name was horse? Oh, Norwegian. Change your name to horse instead of Norwegian wood. Norwegian horse.

[JPC]

I think the song would work if my girlfriend's name was a horse.

[Aaron Keating]

Oh, brother.

[Adol]

Okay, Aaron, for the rest of the episode, we don't Have a lot of time. For the rest of the episode we must take Beatles songs and put horse in the title somewhere.

[Aaron Keating]

Okay, give me a second.

[Adol]

Hey horse. For example. Yes.

[Aaron Keating]

Aaron, I want to hold your horse. I've just seen a horse. I want to hold your horse.

[JPC]

I've just seen that dead of night.

[Aaron Keating]

Horse today.

[Adol]

She came in through the bathroom.

[JPC]

Horse, I want to hold your horse.

[Adol]

Why don't we horse it in the road revolution number? Horse. Horse.

[Aaron Keating]

My horses.

[JPC]

The. The horse.

[Aaron Keating]

Oh my God. For no horse. Give me like 20.

[JPC]

AD took the only one I could do. He took. Hey horse. That was going to be my finale.

[Adol]

Fun to think about. Fun to think about.

[JPC]

Hey, if nothing else, fun to think about. And we're done. Yeah, we're done.

[Aaron Keating]

We're done. Yellow horse.

[Adol]

Aaron.

[Aaron Keating]

I get by with a little horse from my horse.

[JPC]

Okay, that was worth it actually that we'd circled back.

[Adol]

Aaron, is there anything you would like to plug her per? Horse?

[Aaron Keating]

Oh my God. It's the end of the episode. What the fuck? Kinda didn't even take off my coat.

[JPC]

Close enough. I mean. Yeah, it's close enough.

[Aaron Keating]

Yeah. Yeah. Check out our Patreon. Patreon.com heyriddleriddle. Lots of fun stuff over there. Lots of fun stuff being planned by me that's coming out over there. Do a one week free trial, listen to some eps, hang out, addle anything to plug.

[Adol]

Yeah, I want to plug the fact that I think we all know. I'm going to go ahead and say it. I know before the episode we said not to say it. I'm going to go ahead and say that Horse Batman is Bruce Wayne. Horse. No, I know. One is a billionaire. Billionaire Play horse.

[JPC]

Playhorse.

[Adol]

And the other one is a vigilant horse. But they never seem to be in the same room, do they? And how would Horse Batman afford all his wonderful little toys?

[JPC]

Yeah. Horse, car. Horsecopter.

[Adol]

Do you also notice every time Horse Batman breaks his leg and somebody has to shoot him?

[JPC]

Alfalfa. Alfalfa takes him.

[Adol]

Alfalfred has to shoot him.

[JPC]

Alf. Alfred.

[Adol]

I'm sorry, Alfalfa, if there's that Bruce Horse also goes away or whatever. I want to.

[JPC]

Or whatever. Aaron. Or whatever. It doesn't necessarily have to be that Aaron. But it's right. It's that like that.

[Aaron Keating]

I'm losing steam.

[Adol]

George Horsison. No, that doesn't work. JPC2 horse I want to promote. This year is the 10th anniversary of hello from the Magic Tavern. Please check out hello from the Magic Tavern. Both our Regular show and our patreon. And also check out the word association, a podcast I do with my best friend and my worst enemy. And I'll let you decide.

[Aaron Keating]

Sort of the same thing over here.

[JPC]

Yeah. Is that kind of. That's your dynamic across all your podcasts, right?

[Adol]

Yeah, I guess so.

[JPC]

Wow. Damn. Now that I'm thinking about it, I guess it is.

[Adol]

Jpc, what would you like to plug or promote?

[JPC]

Hey, I'd like to plug a couple things. First thing is. And people have sent them to us. I just got back from vacation and I haven't put them in yet. But send us voicemail themes if you have 30 seconds or less. Voicemail themes. We have plenty of voicemails. You could always send us more. And if you're wondering, hey, where do I find any of this stuff? It's always in the episode description. Go look at the episode. So, description. You can find our mailing address, you can find the the phone number, and you can send us voicemails again, 30seconds or lessrrpodcastmail.com and another little fun thing I like to do at the end of the episodes, I like to leave read a little review that you have left for us. You can leave us a review anywhere you leave 5 star reviews. Just make sure you throw 5 stars on it and then you can say whatever you want in there. And I'll read some of them. And today I'm reading one from Flimprist. Flimperist writes science podcast is a tough sell. Don't get me wrong. The passion that hosts have for making their craft entertaining is wonderful. Their chemistry makes the show work. And without them, no amount of scientific rigor could redeem it. But I can't in good conscience tell people this is a science show when they have chosen to softly sunset their primary fact seeking segment, Animal Parade, sometimes only doing the theme song and not the segment. Even its most recent appearance was about the best way to prepare minions instead of the trivia the show has become known for. Like Plants Can Scream, a podcast, which I love. But science show is just a tough sell. Wow. Scathing, scathing critique.

[Adol]

While my guitar gently hoarse. I do want to see a scene. This is very rare. Here comes my horse. I do want to see a scene. Aaron, I want you, Ronald Reagan and Erin Brockovich to do a quick scene and you're all in space.

[JPC]

I invented Star Wars.

[Adol]

No, George Lucas invented Star Wars.

[JPC]

Yeah, but I made it cool and they all explode. Well, it's Ronald Reagan and I'm here to say Robin Rod exploded space in a rapping way.

[Aaron Keating]

Jupiter I was working in the lab.

[Adol]

Will Late one night.

[JPC]

Will starring Aaron Keating and John Patrick Cohen. Casey Tony did the editing. They already parented the music.

[Adol]

Logo created.

[JPC]

By Emily Cardamus and Emily Naporus. Hey there cats and bones. If you like that, you are going to love this week's Patreon. It's another edition of Phrase the Roof, something we haven't done in a very long time. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com haveredovernalt by joining the clue crew for $5 a month or start your 7 day free trial or the review crew for $8 a month. Plus you get those ad free episodes. See you there.

[Adol]

That was a Headgum podcast.