#345: The Hot, Wet Dance

Summary

Hey Riddle Riddle - Episode #345: The Hot, Wet Dance Release Date: February 26, 2025

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Introduction: Award Nomination Fiasco

The episode kicks off with a humorous segment where the hosts—Adol Refai, Erin Keif, and John Patrick Coan (JPC)—receive a mysterious letter notifying them of a podcast award nomination. Misinterpretations abound as they hilariously decipher the actual content of the letter.

• [00:01] Aaron Keefe: "This is a Headgum podcast."
• [01:28] JPC: "Oh, Pink Floyd. I guess they must have started a podcast."

The confusion reaches its peak when Adol reads that they are nominated for a "UN War crimes tribunal," leading to comical misunderstandings about their competition.

• [01:07] Adol Refai: "It says we're up against the wall, motherfucker. Does that make sense?"
• [01:41] JPC: "Oh, Pink Floyd podcast... like a Pink Floyd podcast."

Personal Stories: Vacation Antics and Dinner Party Disasters

The conversation shifts to personal anecdotes, with Adol sharing her vacation experience where she minimally interacted with strangers, only to find the situation amusingly backfire.

• [03:03] Adol Refai: "I did not initiate any conversations with strangers the entire time I was there. Now did I have conversations with strangers? You betcha."
• [04:48] Aaron Keefe: "That's so funny."

Aaron recounts a failed attempt to host a themed dinner party centered around "lemons and revenge." His culinary misadventure involves using a kitchen torch without the necessary fuel, leading to an awkward interaction with an Instacart delivery person.

• [05:07] Aaron Keefe: "I hosted a little dinner party. The theme was lemons and revenge."
• [06:26] Adol Refai: "Are you sure it's not a pubic execution?"

What Did We Learn?

In their signature "What Did We Learn?" segment, Aaron reflects on his dinner party mishap, emphasizing the importance of not endangering friends.

• [09:00] Aaron Keefe: "I learned that it's not cool to put your friends in danger."

Riddle Segments: Solving Puzzles with a Twist

The core of the episode revolves around solving riddles submitted by listeners, interspersed with improvisational scenes that bring the riddles to life.

Riddle 1: "What is squirrely at night, scary in the morning and asleep by the afternoon?"

• [14:04] Adol Refai: "Is it adult?"
• Conclusion: The answer is letters, highlighting how one can write a letter without using all the alphabet.

Riddle 2: "Sometimes we are together in a close embrace. Sometimes we are parted and thrust into dark caves. Sometimes we dance with the members of other tribes. The hot wet dance. The hot dry dance."

• [27:27] JPC: "Washer, dryer. These are socks in a washer and dryer."
• Conclusion: The riddle describes socks undergoing the washing and drying process.

The hosts enthusiastically enact scenes based on these riddles, adding a layer of comedy and creativity to the episode.

• [28:19] JPC: "What's your butt?"
• [29:56] Adol Refai: "And that's the only thing I have left in my little acorn."

Advertisement Breaks: BetterHelp and Blueland Promotions

Midway through the episode, the hosts seamlessly integrate advertisements for BetterHelp and Blueland, maintaining their comedic tone while promoting these services.

• BetterHelp Segment:

  • [34:08] Adol Refai: "If you have to ask why, then you don't know how the human body works."
  • Aaron Keefe: "I use BetterHelp. And I love it. It helps so much."

• Blueland Segment:

  • [37:07] Adol Refai: "From cleaning sprays to hand soap, toilet bowl cleaner and laundry tablets, all Blueland products are made with clean ingredients that you can feel good about."
  • JPC: "They're eliminating the need for single-use plastic in the products we reach for the most."

Group Chat Chaos: Jimmy and Friends

Post-advertisements, the conversation veers into discussions about a group chat involving a character named Jimmy. The hosts humorously debate about Jimmy's contributions and contemplate featuring him on the podcast.

• [68:11] Adol Refai: "He is you as well. And she has you and you and you."
• [70:04] JPC: "We will kill you, Jimmy."

This segment blends personal interactions with ongoing podcast narratives, showcasing the hosts' chemistry and improvisational skills.

Closing Remarks and Final Ads

As the episode nears its end, the hosts wrap up with more riddle-solving attempts, burner scenes, and light-hearted banter. They also slip in final promotional content for Patreon, encouraging listeners to join their "Clue Crew" for bonus episodes.

• [71:47] Aaron Keefe: "That was a Headgum podcast."
• [67:07] JPC: "Go see them on tour this summer as they hit a city near you."

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Adol Refai: "All news is good news." — [02:24]
• Aaron Keefe: "I think we can say this on air. We'll kill you." — [70:32]
• JPC: "Champagne Supernova." — [55:46]

Insights and Conclusions

Throughout the episode, the hosts blend humor, personal stories, and intellectual puzzles to create an engaging listening experience. Their ability to juggle multiple segments—from riddles to advertisements—demonstrates their improvisational prowess and camaraderie. The episode underscores the show's essence: while riddles are a central theme, the real entertainment lies in the interactions and spontaneous comedy among the hosts.

Listeners can expect a mix of thoughtful problem-solving, comedic sketches, and genuine moments of friendship, making "The Hot, Wet Dance" a quintessential episode of Hey Riddle Riddle.

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Join the Clue Crew: For weekly bonus episodes and exclusive content, visit Patreon.com/heyriddleriddle.

Transcript

[Aaron Keefe]

This is a Headgum podcast.

[Adol Refai]

Welch's knows some things make zero sense, like why the algorithm knows your music tastes better than you do, but zero sugar and full flavor. We made that make sense with New Welch's Zero sugar. All that passion fruit or tropical punch goodness and none of the sugar. You gotta sip it to get it. New Welch's Zero sugar. Let's fruit stuff up. The doctor was the mother. He stood on a block of ice. Both of them were goldfish. It was the cannon of an airplane. He stabbed him with an ice ray. And the horse is being frightened. Oh, shit. Aaron. Adol. This is crazy. I just got a letter in the mail that says that we're eligible for a podcast award.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, what's it say? What's it say?

[JPC]

Oh, my God, it's happening.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, okay, it's finally happening. Okay, you have been nominated for best podcast at the. Oh.

[Aaron Keefe]

What?

[Adol Refai]

It says it's a UN War crimes tribunal.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oof.

[JPC]

Whoa, finally. Who are we up against?

[Aaron Keefe]

Whoa. It's written in blood. Cool.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, it says we're up against the wall, motherfucker. Does that make sense?

[JPC]

Oh, Pink Floyd. I guess they must have started a podcast. I know. David Gilmore and podcast.

[Adol Refai]

Like a Pink Floyd podcast.

[JPC]

Okay, yeah, that makes sense.

[Adol Refai]

Okay, well, let's just skip to the part about the prize. Okay, now this is fun.

[Aaron Keefe]

What's it say?

[Adol Refai]

A public. So I don't know how big that means, but public? That's pretty cool for us. Execution.

[JPC]

Ooh, are you sure it's not a pubic execution?

[Adol Refai]

You know what? I'm reading it now, and no, it.

[Aaron Keefe]

Is not pubic exhibition. I think it says.

[Adol Refai]

Okay, you're jumping ahead here. And. I got it. That's the next piece of mail.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, sorry.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah, that one's done, though. That's cool. I'll apply for that. Or it says it's mandatory anyway, so.

[Aaron Keefe]

Well, this is all good. All news is good news.

[Adol Refai]

All news is good news.

[JPC]

All news is good news.

[Adol Refai]

Erin put her head in her hand as soon as she said all news is good news to the notice that we got mail for a. What was it, Aaron? A pubic inspection?

[Aaron Keefe]

Something like that. Anyways, welcome to. Hey, Riddle. Riddle. That's Adol over there.

[JPC]

Hi.

[Aaron Keefe]

Leave. Hello, Adelaide. Hello. He's on that side of the fence. And JPC is over there on his side of the fence.

[Adol Refai]

Woo. On my side of the fence. And that's Aaron, and she's riding the middle. Centrist, baby. No opinions one way or the other.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, sort of deeply irresponsible. Right in the middle. All sides are the same. Fucking fuck you guys.

[Adol Refai]

And Aaron, you were going to say something about lives and how the collection of lives has. Has a certain intrinsic value. How did you put it? It was something about. I don't remember what you just told me about this. It was more about, like, how it wasn't anti matter. It was something. It doesn't matter.

[Aaron Keefe]

It was right after I said that, like, harm reduction's not a thing and both sides are equally as evil.

[Adol Refai]

I told you guys that I was recently on vacation and I was. I did not initiate any conversations with strangers the entire time I was there. Now did I have conversations with strangers? You betcha. You betcha.

[Aaron Keefe]

That's how it goes.

[Adol Refai]

You betcha I did. But I was talking to a guy and he asked me. He's like, what are you doing? I was like, I'm a comedian. And he's like, oh, that's cool. He's like, we. And he was talking to his girlfriend or fiance or something. He was like, yeah, we love comedy. He's like, we watch Kill Tony all the time. And me being a person who has a vague understanding of what that is, I was like, oh, cool, man. Yeah, that's awesome. And then Mariah, who is a person who's never heard of that before, because why would you. She was like, oh, cool, what is that? And I, like, kind of, like, turned my head a little bit and I was like, uh, rook room. Don't.

[JPC]

It turned into Scooby Doo.

[Adol Refai]

And then I got. I texted her the. A very brief and succinct explanation of what that is. And she texted me back, I could look for it, but it's. I have a vivid understanding of the keywords of it. But she texted me back, ask this guy where he got the pool towels. And that's it. And I read that's it. I thought that was so fucking funny.

[Aaron Keefe]

That's so funny.

[Adol Refai]

She's like, that's it. We're done with this guy after that. That's all we need from you.

[Aaron Keefe]

I did something. So speaking of talking to strangers and them liking comedy, I did one of the dumbest things I've ever done this past weekend. I.

[Adol Refai]

The guys in the factory resetting the big sign. It's been this many days since Erin's done the dumbest thing she's ever done.

[Aaron Keefe]

I hosted a little dinner party. The theme was lemons and revenge. And I. For the dinner party, I don't. I don't. I don't want to hear it. Jpc. I'M not taking any questions at this time.

[Adol Refai]

I'll fucking say anything.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, you made a face.

[Adol Refai]

That's my face, sir.

[Aaron Keefe]

I had one of those, like, kitchen torch things, but I didn't buy the fuel that you need for it. And one of the desserts that I. Or the only dessert I made was these lemon custard things that you hollow out a lemon, fill it with custard, let it freeze, and then you put sugar on top, and then you use the torch. So it's hard on the top. It gets caramelized, But I didn't have that. And so at my party, I can't run out, can't leave my guests. So I got an instacart delivery of it. And the instacart guy, because my door was open for party guests to come in, came in to my house, and I was like, that's okay. He was trying to. He didn't really know I did the right thing. And he handed me this stuff and was like, okay, thanks. Have a good one. And I was like, do you want, like, a plate of something? Yeah. Or a drink, Aaron?

[Adol Refai]

No, a drink. He's working.

[Aaron Keefe]

Well, he said. I was like, if you're done, are you about to be done for the night? Cause I can give you a drink or a plate of something. So I gave this man a drink, and then.

[Adol Refai]

But Aaron.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah. And then I had to keep eyes on him because I went, oh, my God, I've just put my guests in danger. Not that I'm. Not that. I'm assuming Instacart doesn't vet there. I trust it.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah. No, but they don't. But also. But also, even if he was done for the night, didn't he drive to your house?

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, but.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah, yeah, he's gonna have. He's gonna have three or four. That be like, hey, can you call me an Uber?

[Aaron Keefe]

No, no, he had. He had, like, a taste. Like, he had a tasting of one of the drinks. So it was like, a very innocent amount of alcohol, which is fine. But he did decide it would. It was time to network.

[JPC]

Let me guess. Aspiring actor.

[Aaron Keefe]

No. He makes dogs. Yeah.

[Adol Refai]

How do you make a dog, Skull?

[Aaron Keefe]

Well, he makes. It's actually quite cool. These, like, outdoor ropes courses.

[JPC]

He hangs up ropes.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah. And I went, I don't know if anyone here would be in need of your services. And he was like, how do you guys know each other? And I was like, well, this is a lot of comedian. It was a dinner party that was a lot of Chicago comedians. And I was like, well, and then he was like, I love Second City. And then he wanted to stay longer, so I sort of had to just sort of follow him around the party while he talked at my friends. And then eventually he was like, can I go to the bathroom? Went to the bathroom. Didn't seem like he stole something he could have.

[Adol Refai]

About how long do we think he stayed? And just don't say any amount. That's a crazy amount.

[Aaron Keefe]

20.

[JPC]

No, Aaron, no.

[Aaron Keefe]

Five minutes.

[JPC]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. The correct answer is 30 seconds.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, and I. I regretted it. I regretted it. But I did take a photo of him. I took a Polaroid photo.

[JPC]

Smart. Smart.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, yeah. Really smart to do that with him.

[Aaron Keefe]

Just in case. It was a little.

[Adol Refai]

Just in case.

[Aaron Keefe]

Just in case. If we all got martyred, we had. We knew what his face looked like. Yeah, he was very nice, but it was a mistake, and I won't be doing that again.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, okay. So this brings us to one of my favorite segments on hey, Riverdale. And that's the segment, of course. What did we learn?

[Aaron Keefe]

Ooh. And this segment is usually one of us saying nothing. And then we go back to that.

[Adol Refai]

Usually it's not much. Huh?

[Aaron Keefe]

I learned that it's not cool to put your friends in danger.

[Adol Refai]

Okay, Aaron, let's go back. I want to see a quick scene. Here's the way it's going to be. Aaron, you're going to be. Aaron, you're going to be, you know, at your house. You're gonna be hosting this party. Adol will go ahead and make you one of Aaron's Chicago comedy friends that didn't get invited to this particular party. But in the scene you did, but in real life, kind of glaring that.

[JPC]

My name is Nigel. I'm from Chicago.

[Adol Refai]

There you go. And Aaron, I will be playing your instacart delivery person, and I'm gonna ask. You're gonna invite me to stay.

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay.

[JPC]

Okay.

[Adol Refai]

Hey. Sorry, the door. The door was open, so I just. I didn't.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. Oh, thank you so much. Thank you.

[Adol Refai]

You're Aaron. This is.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yes, this is for Aaron.

[Adol Refai]

Great.

[Aaron Keefe]

You're Aaron.

[JPC]

No.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, it's okay. Oh.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, cool. You got, like, a little, like, what are we doing? A little dinner party.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yes. The team is lemons and revenge.

[Adol Refai]

That makes sense because this is just a bunch of switchblades and limits.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah. Yeah. I bet you were wondering lemons are.

[JPC]

A dish best served revenge.

[Aaron Keefe]

Well, you look parched. Can I offer you, like, water? Gatorade? A taste of one of the Mixed drinks. I made maybe a little plate.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah, I could do a cocktail. Yeah, I could do a cocktail.

[Casey Toney]

Great.

[Adol Refai]

I like any kind of alcohol, so I could do a cocktail.

[Aaron Keefe]

Great.

[Adol Refai]

I'm just ending my shift too, so this is kind of like a perfect.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, perfect timing.

[Adol Refai]

Perfect end to my day.

[Aaron Keefe]

Fantastic. Are you taking off your coat? Are you taking off your coat?

[Adol Refai]

I am taking off my coat. This is a work coat. So when I do end my shift, I have to take my work coat off. Do you mind if I just. Anywhere or just the. I'll just put it on the bed with all the rest of the coats on it and I'll kind of mix mine in so it's gonna be harder to get out.

[JPC]

Oh, he shuffled them like a deck of cards.

[Adol Refai]

Kind of shuffled and integrate myself into the. Hey, did anyone not show?

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, a couple people. Some people said they got sick and so they couldn't make it.

[Adol Refai]

Maybe if the spot is open. I am a professional. You know in Hollywood where they have those seat fillers for like the Grammys.

[Aaron Keefe]

It looks like a car's getting towed.

[JPC]

Oh, that's my car.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, Nigel, I'm sorry.

[Adol Refai]

Sorry.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm on the side of the road.

[JPC]

Cause I'm from England.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah, it's a one way parking on that street. Oh, that's perfect. You know what, Nigel, if you wouldn't mind, since your car is getting towed and I double parked, would you mind going out there and moving mine? I would, but I'm just over the line of being too drunk to drive.

[JPC]

Oh, Aaron, do you mind if I wait?

[Aaron Keefe]

You haven't even had a sip of your drink yet.

[Adol Refai]

No, I had one sip and that put me over the line because I have been driving just under the legal limit for my whole shift.

[Aaron Keefe]

He's unfurling a sleeping bag.

[Adol Refai]

Do you mind? Nigel here for the night?

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

[Adol Refai]

It doesn't have to be sexual unless it's with Nigel, because you need to be sorry. I'm catching vibes from Nigel big time. And it seems like you guys need a minute. It seems like it's on. What's that?

[Aaron Keefe]

Do you guys need a minute?

[Adol Refai]

Oh, I could use a little longer than a minute. But if a minute is all I.

[JPC]

Got, how about 20 to 25 minutes? Aaron, what did we learn?

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm dumb.

[JPC]

I learned that instead of saying, do you mind if I steal some of your pills? I can instead phrase it as, do you mind if I use your bathroom?

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, I don't know what he took Felt like he took something.

[Adol Refai]

Did you?

[JPC]

For sure.

[Adol Refai]

Aaron, what did you check for? I hate to be crass, but did you check for an upper decker?

[Aaron Keefe]

I did not.

[Adol Refai]

How long ago? How long ago is this?

[Aaron Keefe]

Several days.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, if it's been several days, the upper decker has pretty much destroyed your toilet.

[JPC]

Okay, well, yeah, you're gonna have to move.

[Aaron Keefe]

How could you destroy something that's already destroyed? You know, let's do riddle.

[Adol Refai]

I've got an upper decker guy. I've got an upper decker guy. I will give you.

[Aaron Keefe]

You're the guy.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah, well, so it's easy. You already have the number. Just call him. All I'm asking for is a phone call.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'll never call you back.

[Adol Refai]

I gave you the number of a guy that does the upper deckers, not the number of the guy that cleans up the upper deckers.

[Aaron Keefe]

And that I know.

[JPC]

Go for Upper Becker. Ted Danson. Yeah, Upper Danson is Upper Becker.

[Adol Refai]

Or would it be fun that it's like, what is his name? Like Mr. Wolf from Pulp Fiction? Is that his name?

[JPC]

Mr. Oh, yeah. Quentin Tarantino.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah, it's like that guy, but he only takes care of upper deckers. Shows up in a suit. I don't need to know the name of the guy that says words.

[JPC]

He doesn't really need to say.

[Adol Refai]

W D. Who is that? Harvey Keitel. Who is it?

[JPC]

Yeah, Keitel is the wolf. And who is Tarantino? I forget his character's name.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah, well, as you should, because Tarantino's always the best part of his own movies.

[JPC]

Oh, yeah.

[Adol Refai]

He's a good actor. He's a good actor. He goes, you know what? I think I can do this scene a little better. I think I know how to say the N word a little better than most other people. I think I need to be in here.

[Aaron Keefe]

Our first riddle is from Jennifer M. What is squirrely at night, scary in the morning and asleep by the afternoon?

[JPC]

J.P. riddles.

[Adol Refai]

Yes, Aaron? How far into an episode do you think you could get by just bullshitting listener names and just saying riddles?

[Aaron Keefe]

I mean, how far in are we? Like 14 minutes? I'm not Old Man Puzzles, but I wanted that moment to be over.

[Adol Refai]

I think that you could have sold it. I think you could have sold it. I think you could have.

[Aaron Keefe]

Well, what's the answer to my riddle? What's squirrely at night, scary in the morning and asleep by the afternoon?

[Adol Refai]

Okay, squirrel's not nocturnal, so it's squirrely at night, scary in the morning and asleep by the afternoon. Is it adult?

[Aaron Keefe]

I Guess.

[JPC]

Huh? And I guess JP riddles. And you said correct. But I guess that was.

[Adol Refai]

Is it free play ruse.

[Aaron Keefe]

I remember in 2019, remember when we had a little feather in our cap and a song in our heart?

[Adol Refai]

Yeah.

[Aaron Keefe]

Back then we thought we'd do full episodes of reverse engineering riddles where we'd pick an answer and then we would write riddles in real time that would be, like, passable. So it'd be like, let's do a sunflower. And then we're like, all right. How do we write a riddle? And we thought we'd do full episodes of that.

[Adol Refai]

Did we ever do that on an episode?

[Aaron Keefe]

We didn't end up doing it. No. We talked about it.

[Adol Refai]

Thank God. Sounds awful. It sounds so hard and so boring.

[Aaron Keefe]

I know what, you guys, let's reverse engineer. The answer is sunflower. So what's the riddle?

[JPC]

My first is of your lineage. Bore from hips. I am. My second is a flower. This is hard.

[Aaron Keefe]

I reach towards my namesake to stay alive. But we don't have anything in common besides our name and our color. Who am I?

[JPC]

My seeds are chewed by baseball players.

[Adol Refai]

And squirrels.

[JPC]

And squirrels.

[Adol Refai]

My neighbor has sunflowers that they grow every year. And there comes a point, and I like sunflowers. They're cool. They grow very tall, but there comes a point where they have to chop.

[Aaron Keefe]

You're cool with sunflowers?

[Adol Refai]

What's that?

[Aaron Keefe]

You're cool with them. I know for a fact you got into a bar with a sunflower like, eight months ago. A bar fight with a sunflower.

[Adol Refai]

I got into a bar with two sunflowers. Walk into a bar. But eventually they reach a point where they just have to cut the flower part off of all of them because the squirrels will start ripping the head off the sunflower and just, like, keeping the head with all of the seeds in them. And it's very funny to see because they're big flowers. It's very funny to see, like, a squirrel balancing on a fence, chewing, trying to chew through a sunflower to, like, grab the bit. Yeah. It's like. It's quite a get for them, Aaron.

[JPC]

They rip off the head and then they put it on a spike to warn the other sunflowers who try and grow in the area.

[Aaron Keefe]

So scary. Adam.

[Adol Refai]

That's basically what a sunflower is. It's just a big flower and a spike.

[Aaron Keefe]

That what all plants are.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Adol Refai]

Okay. I'm old Man Puzzles. I actually have some riddles, unlike that fucking, you know, joke bullshit Aaron tried to pull on us. Some amateur hour Amateur hour.

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay, I'm sorry. After six years of you doing joke bullshit, suddenly your brand and no one else can do it.

[Adol Refai]

I'm sorry, Aaron. I thought you liked amateur. I thought that was a compliment for you. Okay, never mind.

[Aaron Keefe]

I don't mediate.

[Adol Refai]

Learning something about my friend.

[JPC]

I'm riding the fence. I'm good. No, bad. All news is good news.

[Adol Refai]

I travel over land and sea. Upon my face a picture. However long my path may be. You'll find me in the corner.

[JPC]

Stamp.

[Aaron Keefe]

Post Stamp. Post it. Post stamp. Post.

[Adol Refai]

Yes, it is a post stamp. Got a little warm up. Sometimes we are together in a close embrace. Sometimes we are parted and thrust into dark caves. Sometimes we dance with the members of other tribes. The hot wet dance. The hot dry dance.

[Aaron Keefe]

Ew.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah.

[Aaron Keefe]

It's one of the grossest riddles we've ever had.

[JPC]

I think this is.

[Aaron Keefe]

First I thought batteries, but that's not it.

[JPC]

Batteries doing their hot wet dance. At first I thought it was like teddy bears because remember that? Remember that song? That's like behind the Trees where Nobody Sees. And that's where the teddy bears have their picnic. You know that song?

[Aaron Keefe]

It's all because certain because today's the day the teddy bears have.

[JPC]

They pick. Nick.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah, this sounds familiar to me, but what is this? Is this from something or is this just like one of these children's songs?

[JPC]

It's from teddy bear lore.

[Aaron Keefe]

Teddy Bear Picnic. You learn it in kindergarten or something.

[JPC]

Teddy bears are part of Greek mythology.

[Aaron Keefe]

Wait, jpc Were you. Your eyes are sort of darting around. Do you get nervous because you were never a child?

[Adol Refai]

I will tell you that I don't think I ever went to kindergarten, like, officially because that there was a period in my life, and it was before first grade, where I only did Montessori school. And I don't think Montessori school has, like, a curriculum. I think it's essentially the same thing as kindergarten.

[Aaron Keefe]

I don't know. Whatever they did to you is messed up. Is in the pudding.

[JPC]

Montessori school is where you, like, eat chalk and then you, like, punch a frog and the teacher goes a. This is correct. Like, whatever you do.

[Adol Refai]

There was a little. There was a board in my Montessori school. It was like a little wooden board and it had, like, two shoelaces on it and, like, the holes for shoes. So it was supposed to teach you how to, like, lace and tie your shoes on this board. But since it was like, reversed, like it was, you know, not you tying your own shoes. I could never fucking get it I could never get the tying your shoes. And then one day, I tied my own shoes and I was like, oh, fuck that board. That board only ever distracted me. Never did shit for me. Also, I don't know where I got this, but one time I told my Montessori school teacher that my dad was dating a new woman. My parents were divorced, you know, at this point, but that my dad was dating a new woman. And she was a Go Go dancer is the term that I used. And her name was Piranha and she had red hair. And this was completely made up, says my dad. But you know what he could have been doing. But my dad picked me up from school and the teacher was like, oh, yeah, your son told us about your girlfriend. My dad was like, my what? She was like, piranha. And I think as she realized it, she was like, oh, no. This is a child who's lied to me, okay?

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm really emotionally attached to Piranha. I like picturing her whole life and how beautiful and cool her apartment is. She loves to thrift.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah.

[Aaron Keefe]

Piranha, the go Go dancer.

[Adol Refai]

No way. She would have been with my dad. Although there was a time where my dad could have pulled a Go Go dancer named Piranha.

[JPC]

I mean, and all her friends call her Rana. They're like, rana, those boots.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, my God, when are you gonna settle down? And she says, never.

[Adol Refai]

Never. And my dad's in the other room and he's just like. His head hangs low. Cause he's like, I thought this was.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm so in love.

[JPC]

Then Rana opens to eat brunch with her ladies. And she's got these tiny, sharp little teeth.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, my God. She just devours her mimosa with them.

[Aaron Keefe]

I would like to announce the movie that I will be starring in in 2026. It's called Piranha, the Go Go Dancer.

[JPC]

It's basically a Nora, but with Piranha.

[Aaron Keefe]

And with. It's way worse. Way, way, way worse.

[Adol Refai]

Well, Aaron's smaller budget doesn't mean way worse.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, no, not a smaller budget. Never said that.

[Adol Refai]

I got VC funding for this thing. This thing's going apeshit.

[Aaron Keefe]

Well, it's technically propaganda from the government, so they're giving me a lot of money.

[Adol Refai]

Don't worry, it's not the US Government.

[Aaron Keefe]

Ayr's doing foreign stuff that doesn't exist anymore.

[Adol Refai]

Dude, I would. By the way, if anyone needs foreign state propaganda, it could be. It doesn't matter what the state is. Any foreign state, I will do it.

[Aaron Keefe]

How sure are you Listeners that we aren't already doing that. Guess which country we've been secretly working for since 2019.

[Adol Refai]

We're on some foreign powers, like payroll, and they're in a meeting and they're like, we can cut the funding on this one, right? Did this one do anything? Did it move the needle for us at all?

[Aaron Keefe]

Made the world worse? Is that what we were going for?

[Adol Refai]

We're still getting a check from Spain every month. And we're like, I think they forgot about.

[Aaron Keefe]

They don't know. They don't know. They don't know.

[Adol Refai]

All the other funding dried up. It's just Spain financing this podcast. Okay, do you guys want to move on or you want to hear it again or what's the play?

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, my God, we're doing a riddle.

[JPC]

Wait, you said a riddle.

[Aaron Keefe]

I would like to hear it again.

[Adol Refai]

Sometimes we are together in a close embrace. Sometimes we are parted and thrust into dark caves. Sometimes we dance with the members of other tribes. The hot wet dance. The hot dry dance.

[JPC]

So the caves are mouths.

[Aaron Keefe]

Magnets.

[JPC]

And these are like grapes or something.

[Adol Refai]

The caves are not mouths, but the caves are not caves. So you're onto something with that.

[JPC]

Buttholes.

[Aaron Keefe]

Buttholes.

[Adol Refai]

The caves are not buttholes.

[JPC]

Oven.

[Adol Refai]

No, it's not oven, but I guess that's closer than butthole and mouth. It's definitely closer than mouth and butthole.

[JPC]

Refrigerator.

[Aaron Keefe]

Is it something food related?

[Adol Refai]

It's nothing. This is nothing food related. It has nothing to do with food.

[JPC]

Sonic closet. Will the closet be Aaron?

[Adol Refai]

Did you say Sonic?

[Aaron Keefe]

No, I said, is it? Oh, Sonic's on the brain for you, though. It seems sort of listening for it.

[JPC]

Aaron. JPC Casey and I saw Sonic 3 in 40X and I gotta say, the dance that Jim Carrey does with himself is one of the best moments in cinematic history.

[Aaron Keefe]

I was trying to say it quiet so people don't quote him on this.

[JPC]

I don't want to be judged, but it's amazing.

[Adol Refai]

Jim Carrey was going pretty hard in that movie. It was really fun to see. Like, you know, Jim Carrey, who. Honestly, I haven't seen the. I can't tell you. Like, the last time I saw a Jim Carrey movie that I enjoyed. I think the last Jim Carrey movie I saw was the number 23. Do you guys remember that, Sue?

[JPC]

Yikes. Yeah.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, yikes. Forgot that again.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah. And that was like high school or shortly after.

[JPC]

But in Sonic 3, they let him off the leash and he tricks. Go to YouTube. Look up Jim Carrey. Sonic three dance scene.

[Aaron Keefe]

I saw A clip of it.

[JPC]

I've watched it.

[Aaron Keefe]

Like, that seems amazing.

[JPC]

Yeah, it's incredible.

[Adol Refai]

He still got it.

[JPC]

He still got it.

[Aaron Keefe]

And when you saw it in 40x, does it. Do the seats make you dance?

[JPC]

Yeah, the seats grab your arms and legs and they prop you up and they make you do the dance with him. And it hurts so bad.

[Aaron Keefe]

Aaron, when you see, like, Weekend at Bernie's at 40x, the seat sort of just like puppet you around. That how it goes?

[Adol Refai]

Yeah, but it has to be 40x and 3D because you actually do need the glasses or else Weekend at Birdies does not work.

[JPC]

I love. We get. It's just like 40x is like, how do we make Weekend at Bernie's 40x? Let's just randomly throw in some jarring moments.

[Aaron Keefe]

What are caves? Can we have a hint about what caves are at least jpc?

[Adol Refai]

Closets. Closets. The caves are not closets or shelves, but this thing would is related to closets and shelves. Sometimes we are together in a close embrace. Sometimes we are parted and thrust into dark caves.

[Aaron Keefe]

It's like headphones or something.

[Adol Refai]

Pockets, headphones. Maybe move off of dark caves and. Well, I guess the whole thing is dark caves. Sometimes we dance with the members of other tribes. The hot wet dance, the hot dry dance. Think about what the hot wet dance and the hot dry dance could be.

[JPC]

Is it Jim Carrey in Sonic 3 when he dances with himself?

[Adol Refai]

Dude, there wasn't a dry.

[JPC]

There was a dry seat in the house. How do we seat in the house?

[Adol Refai]

Hot wet dance. Hot dry dance. So something that's hot and wet and something that's hot and dry.

[JPC]

Deserts. No, rainforests and deserts.

[Adol Refai]

This would be something that you would find not really in nature.

[JPC]

Mmm, not in nature. Base.

[Adol Refai]

Hot wet dance. Hot dry dance. These things are kind of like a pair. I would say you usually, if typically you have one with the other.

[JPC]

Mm. Amuse, bouche.

[Adol Refai]

Something that makes things hot and hot is not necessary. It doesn't actually need to be necessary. The wet and the dry are the more important parts.

[JPC]

Okay.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh.

[JPC]

Washer, dryer. These are socks in a washer and dryer.

[Adol Refai]

These are socks.

[JPC]

Washer and dryer. I do want to see a scene.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, please.

[JPC]

Please finish what you're gonna say.

[Adol Refai]

I was gonna say sometimes we are together in a close embrace. Like the socks. I don't do that. I think it ruins the elastic of the socks to, like, fold them over. But some people do. Sometimes we are parted and thrust into dark caves, which I believe are the washer and dryer Sometimes we dance with the members of other tribes, the other clothes. The hot wet dance. The hot dry dance sucks.

[JPC]

It's cute call that a dance, but it's gotta be terrifying for clothes.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh yeah.

[JPC]

They're screaming the whole time.

[Aaron Keefe]

Can we actually see a scene? And then Adol will see your scene. We're gonna be three pieces.

[JPC]

Interesting.

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay, we'll do your scene first.

[JPC]

Go ahead, Erin.

[Aaron Keefe]

I just. This was just gonna be short. We're gonna be three pieces of clothes and a dryer.

[JPC]

Okay. Hey again. Hey again.

[Aaron Keefe]

Hey.

[JPC]

Hey again.

[Aaron Keefe]

Hey.

[JPC]

Hey again. Hey, hey.

[Aaron Keefe]

Hey.

[JPC]

Sorry, sorry. Oh, is that what lint is?

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, God. Pants is wrapped around himself. Hold on.

[JPC]

I'm gonna do whatever clothes CPR is.

[Aaron Keefe]

Stay with us.

[JPC]

Pants, stay with us. Pants. Smack. Oh.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, God. I was really twisted.

[Aaron Keefe]

Are you okay?

[Adol Refai]

More lit.

[Aaron Keefe]

Stay with us. Stay with us.

[Adol Refai]

See, the thought, the idea of clothes just vomiting lit in there. Pretty good, Pretty funny.

[Aaron Keefe]

Pretty good.

[JPC]

Pretty cute.

[Adol Refai]

Adol, do you still want to see your scene or did we cover it?

[JPC]

My scene was gonna be very similar.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, I thought, you know, I thought you were gonna do a scene that we were two socks. I would like to see a scene. Go ahead.

[JPC]

My scene was gonna be a sock coming back from the dryer to warn the other clothes that it lost its partner and like to tell them about the horrors of the washer and dryer.

[Adol Refai]

Wow.

[Aaron Keefe]

Let's do that one instead and cut the other scene.

[JPC]

Okay. Eren, you wait a second. Hold on, hold on. We're not gonna cut that scene.

[Adol Refai]

Cut the other scene.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, we'll put it at the end of the episode.

[JPC]

Eren, all news is good news. All scenes are good scenes.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah.

[Adol Refai]

No, we're not gonna cut a good scene.

[Aaron Keefe]

Insane.

[Adol Refai]

Are you insane?

[Aaron Keefe]

We're gonna put it at the end of the episode.

[Adol Refai]

Hey, it's gonna stay right where it is. You know what you can do at the end of the episode, Aaron?

[Aaron Keefe]

Fuck myself.

[Adol Refai]

You can apologize. You can apologize. Yeah, you can fuck yourself. All right, I want to see a scene. Aaron, let's see a scene. We're put at the end of the episode. This is gonna be a scene where you go fuck yourself.

[Aaron Keefe]

Ok, Great. I'm having a great time.

[JPC]

Instacart.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, scene.

[Adol Refai]

Casey, keep that one right where it is. Keep going right. We're not moving that at all.

[Aaron Keefe]

I would like to see a scene.

[Adol Refai]

No, Adol's gonna see a scene.

[Aaron Keefe]

No, it's sort of funny. Just keep saying I want to see.

[Adol Refai]

Pick up your fork and take two more big Bites of your scene or you don't need to leave the table.

[Aaron Keefe]

All right, I'm not a bad guy.

[JPC]

I feel like my scene's being filibustered.

[Aaron Keefe]

No, no, no. Here we go. Here we go. Whoa, Sock, you're back. Are you okay?

[JPC]

Don't, don't, don't get dirty. Everyone. Everyone, please don't get dirty.

[Aaron Keefe]

You're spreading rumors again. Sock, come on. It's okay to get dirty.

[JPC]

No, I'm telling you, the minute you get dirty, they put you in a torture device. And I can't find.

[Adol Refai]

I can't find.

[JPC]

Left. Left is what?

[Adol Refai]

Where's Denise? I'm sorry, as you call her Left, my daughter. Where's Denise? Sock.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, you would call you Sock and your wife's name is Denise.

[JPC]

What? That's fucked.

[Adol Refai]

Hey, I call you Sock because I am your father in law. We don't have a good relationship. You call my daughter Denise? Left.

[Aaron Keefe]

Sock, you smell awfully good. Where's Denise?

[JPC]

It's called detergent.

[Adol Refai]

Wait a second.

[JPC]

It's permeated every fiber of my being.

[Adol Refai]

Denise is gone. You didn't get into socontology, did you? Where's Denise? Sock? Are you a socatologist? How come no one's seen Denise in 15 years?

[JPC]

I will have my own planet. I, Asok, will have my own planet.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah, that's a one to one.

[JPC]

I was trying to think of like Mormons and Scientologists. I can't remember who has their own planet.

[Adol Refai]

They all get their own planet. Isn't that crazy?

[JPC]

Well, why aren't we get. We should get our own planet.

[Adol Refai]

That's what I'm saying.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, that's fucked. I don't know if I want my own planet. That sounds so low.

[JPC]

I'll take errands.

[Adol Refai]

I'll take Eren's.

[JPC]

Ah, two planets.

[Aaron Keefe]

You can't play called divs on my planet.

[Adol Refai]

You gave it away, Aaron. You gave it away so fast.

[Aaron Keefe]

Well, I don't. I want my planet back. Well, can I hang out?

[Adol Refai]

God's up there with a little golf pencil crossing out Aaron's planet and adding adult to Adle's second planet.

[JPC]

The instacart guy is up there dancing all over the place.

[Adol Refai]

Well, Ad, what are you going to do with your second planet? Is it going to be like a spillover planet? Are you going to like put the coats on the second planet? Like what's, what's going to be? What's the vibe?

[JPC]

I think I'm going to. I think I'm gonna put one on top of the other, like, bunk beds.

[Adol Refai]

What?

[JPC]

So one planet on Eren.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, that sounds so fun.

[JPC]

Eren, you can visit, I guess.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, God, where am I gonna live? I don't have a planet.

[Adol Refai]

She won't have a planet. So don't say she could visit because now she's gonna be staying there.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm untethered.

[JPC]

I would offer you to stay on my planets, but I kind of like having the bunk planets, but leaving the top bunk open.

[Adol Refai]

I'm sure Eren, they have, like, hostile planets. Not hostile, but, like, hostile planets for me.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, my God. Everyone's gonna be snor.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah. Yeah. And it'll be a bunch of smug atheists being like, we all refused our planets because there is no such thing as you get a planet.

[JPC]

Oh, God.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, God.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, God.

[Aaron Keefe]

Gpc. Can I come to your planet?

[Adol Refai]

No. I'm gonna be staying at that atheist house. It'll be me and Ricky Gervais. That should be his hostel. Wow.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, God, get me out of here.

[JPC]

Ooh, I do wanna see a scene.

[Aaron Keefe]

No.

[JPC]

Okay, fine. We'll take a break.

[Adol Refai]

We'll take a break. We'll take a break and we'll come back with more Ricky Gervais and an alien hostel. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp.

[JPC]

Ding dong. Hello. Thank you two for coming to the door. I'm a child and I'm here to.

[Adol Refai]

Did you just call me? Did you just call me a Ding Dong?

[JPC]

Yeah, you look like a little bit of a Ding Dong. I'll talk to the lady of the house. I'm here to talk to you about better Help.

[Aaron Keefe]

Are you talking about BetterHelp? It's therapy that's fully online, making it affordable and convenient, serving over 5 million people worldwide. Because I use BetterHelp. And I love it. It helps so much.

[JPC]

Yes, I am here to talk about that. Whether you're dating, married, building a friendship, or just. Or just working on yourself like me, a precocious child at your door, it's time to form relationships that love you back, including with yourself.

[Adol Refai]

If I'm a Ding dong, then you're a zebra cake.

[JPC]

Ha.

[Adol Refai]

I should have said ho ho.

[Aaron Keefe]

You're like writing notes really fast, basically.

[Adol Refai]

Well, I haven't had a snack cake in so long. How am I supposed to remember what they're all called?

[JPC]

Well, I remember something, which is that with BetterHelp, you can access a diverse network of more than 30,000 credentialed therapists with a wide range of specialties, easily switch therapists anytime, at no extra cost.

[Aaron Keefe]

And if you have tried therapy before and it hasn't worked for you. This might be the solution because you can message them anytime when you're actually experiencing a thing and they get back to you with a timely response. And it's I, I wasn't great at the whole build up all your feelings and then talk to a therapist once a week thing. It's been helpful to just be able to message them.

[JPC]

Yeah. Did you hear that, my nutty buddy?

[Adol Refai]

Ah, nutty buddy. That'd be good. Can I call him a Twinkie? Can I call them a snowball? Some of these things I feel like are snack cakes, but they're not insults, if that makes sense.

[Aaron Keefe]

I know we always focus on red flags in our family relationships, our friendships, and especially our dating relationships. But we don't really focus on the green flags we don't really like. Make a list of things we are looking for and your new therapist can help you with that.

[Adol Refai]

You can discover your relationship green flags with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com Riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp H-E-L-P.com Riddle wow, you've truly.

[JPC]

Learned everything I wanted you to learn. Now just sign these adoption papers and you'll be all set.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, can't wait to see if we're adopting a good kid. Wait a second. It's you.

[JPC]

Haha. Bad tricked.

[Aaron Keefe]

This keeps happening.

[Casey Toney]

Hi, I'm Kat.

[Adol Refai]

And I'm Pat.

[Casey Toney]

We're from Seek Treatment podcast and we're here to talk about Blue Land. Do you know what I'm so about right now, Pat?

[Adol Refai]

What?

[Aaron Keefe]

Tell me.

[Adol Refai]

Do not not tell me.

[Casey Toney]

Well, ready for this? I just heard that we're eating and drinking roughly a credit card's worth of plastic a week. Yeah, that's right.

[Adol Refai]

Oh my God.

[Casey Toney]

I know. The products we're using are contaminating our water supply, generating hundreds of microplastics that we're eating. So here's the good news. You're never going to believe this. Blueland is doing something about it. They're eliminating the need for single use plastic in the products we reach for the most.

[Adol Refai]

From cleaning sprays to hand soap, toilet bowl cleaner and laundry tablets, all Blueland products are made with clean ingredients that you can feel good about. Blueland is trusted in over 1 million homes, including mine. That's correct.

[Casey Toney]

They offer refillable cleaning products with a beautiful cohesive design that looks great on your counter. And refills start at just $2.25. You can even set Up a subscription or buy in bulk for additional savings. I use my Blueland spray today. I cleaned my dirty, dirty, dirty yoga mat with my blueland all purpose spray today. It smelled good, it got the job done, and the bottle looked beautiful while doing it.

[Adol Refai]

Blueland has a special offer for listeners right now. Get 15% off your first order by going to Blueland.

[Casey Toney]

Do you won't want to miss this. Blueland.com Save 15 for 15 off. That's blueland.com. save 15 to get 15% off.

[Adol Refai]

All right, you guys ready for the next riddle?

[Aaron Keefe]

As ready as I'll ever be.

[Adol Refai]

This one. This one is a short one, Aaron. So I think it'll be. It's probably going to be very easy to deduce because of how short it is in terms of the word count.

[Aaron Keefe]

Great.

[Adol Refai]

You can write one of me without using all of me.

[JPC]

Whoa. You can write one of me without using all of me.

[Adol Refai]

You can write one of me without using all of me. Alphabet.

[Aaron Keefe]

Alphabet numbers.

[JPC]

Write one of me. So I'm writing something that's being used to write.

[Adol Refai]

You can write one of me without using all of me.

[JPC]

Is this like a pen pal letter to a pen?

[Adol Refai]

It is not a pen pal letter to a Pin. We're talking about like Pin. What's the guy. What's a famous person named Pen? Isn't there a famous person.

[JPC]

Penn Teller. Pennilette we're talking about?

[Adol Refai]

Well, yeah. Pinjillette. Writing a letter to Pin. Badly.

[Aaron Keefe]

Badly.

[Adol Refai]

Badgley. There we go. That's what I wanted to know. Sean Penn and Casey. Put that in clean.

[Aaron Keefe]

No, Casey. You leave that right where it is.

[JPC]

No.

[Adol Refai]

And Penn. Badgley. Badgley. Penn Badgley. First name Penn?

[Aaron Keefe]

I think so.

[JPC]

Is that first up? Who's Penn Badgley?

[Aaron Keefe]

He was on Gossip Girl. He was on the show you. He was in. John Tucker Musk died.

[JPC]

He was on the ME.

[Aaron Keefe]

Who'S on first?

[Adol Refai]

Missouri. The show Me State.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah.

[Adol Refai]

Okay.

[JPC]

Hey, Adol.

[Adol Refai]

You did? Yeah, what's up, Adolf?

[Aaron Keefe]

Sorry, sorry. Jpc. Give us jpc. One second. Adol and I.

[Adol Refai]

Go ahead. What's up, Adol?

[Aaron Keefe]

What's going on? Are you hungry?

[JPC]

No, I'm actually. Couldn't be more full. This sucks to have to tell you.

[Aaron Keefe]

What's up?

[JPC]

I was trying to just rearrange stuff on my planet. My monk planet.

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay.

[JPC]

And on your planet? Oh, it's my planet. But it was yours. We found what, just a fucking motherload of platinum and What, I'm worth $28 trillion now? So, like, it's just things Are just. Things are just happening so fast.

[Aaron Keefe]

Well, this is such good news then. So I can get a cut of.

[JPC]

No. Now that I have all this money, I actually want more. And also, we found Joshua Jackson was buried in the Planet, so.

[Aaron Keefe]

What are you talking about?

[JPC]

So he's like my little fuck toy now?

[Aaron Keefe]

What are you saying to me? What is happening?

[JPC]

I just. I just wanted you to. It felt wrong to not let you. Even though we're not really friends anymore because I have all this money.

[Aaron Keefe]

We're what? Not really. I gave you a whole planet. What do you mean we're not really friends anymore?

[JPC]

Now that I have money, I don't need friends. Does that make sense? Jesus.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, my God.

[JPC]

Joshua said you'd act like this.

[Aaron Keefe]

He did?

[JPC]

Yeah. He hates you.

[Aaron Keefe]

He does?

[JPC]

Yes. But. Aaron, Aaron, for the sake of jpc, let's try and solve this riddle, huh?

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay.

[JPC]

Okay.

[Aaron Keefe]

All right. I love you. Don't say I know. Don't say I know.

[JPC]

I know.

[Aaron Keefe]

Ah. Gpc. We're back.

[JPC]

We're back.

[Adol Refai]

Hey.

[Aaron Keefe]

Whoa. What happened when we left? You're covered in blood.

[Adol Refai]

You guys left me alone with Ricky Gervais. I could only last like 30 seconds.

[Aaron Keefe]

What did he do to you?

[Adol Refai]

Did he say, what did I do to him?

[JPC]

Pithy and insulting at the same time.

[Adol Refai]

You can write one of me without using all of me. Adol said the answer as part of a sentence that he said. That wasn't the answer.

[Aaron Keefe]

Let it.

[JPC]

A pen? Yeah.

[Adol Refai]

It's not a pen, Aaron.

[Aaron Keefe]

Is it a letter?

[Adol Refai]

It is a letter.

[JPC]

Wow.

[Adol Refai]

You can write one of me without using all of me. So it's letters, technically.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, letters. Because I said Alphabet. I was on the right track.

[Adol Refai]

You were on the right track, Correct. I never said you weren't. I always believed in you.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'd like to see a scene. You guys can pick whichever two letters of the Alphabet you are and you're. Okay. Great. And you're meeting for the first time because you're not normally next to each other, are you?

[Adol Refai]

Don't.

[JPC]

Are you?

[Adol Refai]

Don't do it.

[JPC]

You. You.

[Adol Refai]

Dude. Don't do it, dude. I.

[JPC]

Are you. You. I. R.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, you. You're meeting R finally.

[Adol Refai]

Do I look like you? Don't say it. Deny what you're thinking. Does everyone understand the game I play?

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm trying to figure it out. You're saying, like, you, like.

[Adol Refai]

Do I need to give you any more examples? Don't look at me like you don't understand what letter I am.

[Aaron Keefe]

He's trying to get us to say he's D. But I don't. It's undoing the gift that you gave him by calling him you.

[JPC]

He's you.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm D. He's you.

[Adol Refai]

That I know. I know for sure. I'm dying. Hey, speaking of you. Up the sky, up the high sky Pointer up the rustling soil shader up and up the strong ring maker, the deep earth sucker Aliston, Commander College. Straight up I climb Tapping out my message for the world to hear and the message says hunger.

[JPC]

And Aaron, here we go. All this talk about up but we want to go down, down, down the road down the witch's road down, down.

[Aaron Keefe]

Down, down the road Adel and I are in the fall of 2024, we actually got into a time machine. It was way more fun when that TV show was coming out. 2025 was a little too stressful for us, so we went back.

[Adol Refai]

What is the thing that you're referencing?

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, God. He doesn't watch TV anymore, you guys. Because he's a dad. Allegedly. No evidence of a baby.

[JPC]

Never seen hide nor hair.

[Adol Refai]

See me in court.

[Aaron Keefe]

He says he has a son named Business, but I've never seen him.

[JPC]

He says he has a daughter named Barracuda, but I've never seen it.

[Adol Refai]

Ooh, Business.

[JPC]

Barracuda.

[Aaron Keefe]

Is it a tree? Jpc.

[Adol Refai]

No.

[JPC]

And we were singing a song from Agatha all along. A song that they sing, I want to say 45 times in the film. 50 times. It's not a film, it's a TV show.

[Adol Refai]

Earth sucker up the high sky pointer up the rustling soil shader up and up the strong ring maker, the deep earth sucker Straight up I climb tapping out my message for the world to hear. And the message says Hunger.

[JPC]

Is this like something from Dune?

[Aaron Keefe]

The worm from Dune?

[JPC]

Is this the worm from Dune?

[Aaron Keefe]

You guys, this is such a Hollywood thing. And I hate to name drop, but I went on a date with the worm from Dune last summer. Shy.

[Adol Refai]

Hello.

[JPC]

I do want to see a scene.

[Adol Refai]

Eric didn't even know the word from Dune's name.

[JPC]

I don't want to see a scene. Aaron.

[Adol Refai]

Hi.

[Aaron Keefe]

Saddle.

[JPC]

You are? Aaron Keefe, jvc. You are the worm from Dune.

[Adol Refai]

Shai Hulud. What the fuck?

[JPC]

Well, normally you're just halluded, but when you're out in public on a first date, you're shy. Hallooed. And the two of you are on a first date.

[Aaron Keefe]

So you forgot your wallet, huh? Scene. He would. The worm from Dune would.

[JPC]

Aaron gets a ride home, jumps on its back.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah, I mean, why even carry the Wallet. Honestly, what are you getting carded? You're the worm from Dune.

[JPC]

You're the worm from Dune.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, I also. I don't know why this made me think of this, but Zorp likes his nickname, by the way.

[JPC]

Ooh, I love that.

[Adol Refai]

Thickens.

[JPC]

The Zorp thickens. Oh, Aaron, real quick, before we go back to the riddle, can you give us that Dune, the soundtrack scream or whatever? Oh, here's. Here's something. Now give us the Survivor scream.

[Aaron Keefe]

Didn't I just do that?

[JPC]

Because the Survivor scream is like.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, yeah. Wow.

[JPC]

Surviving, dude.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oops. Zorp just broke up with me.

[Adol Refai]

I think that they're gonna do at least one season of Survivor set in the Dune universe.

[JPC]

Whoa.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, okay. I think I could win that.

[Adol Refai]

They're gonna do it on the water planet, though. They're gonna do it.

[Aaron Keefe]

I love drinking my sweat.

[JPC]

Good luck trying to find a hidden immunity idol.

[Aaron Keefe]

Is this an organic material, this thing?

[Adol Refai]

Yes.

[JPC]

Can you give us a hint?

[Aaron Keefe]

It's a plant of some kind.

[Adol Refai]

Eren, you said tree earlier, Aaron. And tree is not the flower, but tree is being described in part of the riddle forest. Leaf up the high sky pointer up the rustling soil shader, up and up the strong ring maker. That's the tree, okay? The deep earth sucker. Straight up I climb, tapping out my message for the world to hear in the midst of hunger. You both got it. It is Whitpecker.

[Aaron Keefe]

I would like to see a scene. Adel, you are a woodpecker. Jpc, you're a tree. And jpc, you're like. What the hell are you?

[Adol Refai]

Excuse me. Excuse me. Oh.

[JPC]

Who's there? Who's there? Who's what the fuck? Who's there?

[Adol Refai]

It's the tree.

[JPC]

Who the is talking?

[Adol Refai]

It's the tree. It's the whole tree. The thing you're standing on, Mark, is that you? I mean, I don't know Mark. I don't know who Mark is. I'm the tree.

[JPC]

Mark would never say he doesn't know Mark.

[Adol Refai]

Hey, you're tapping on me. What are you doing?

[JPC]

Oh, sorry, I'm just jamming. Just practicing band.

[Adol Refai]

Okay. Go practice somewhere else, man. Hey, that's my skin, guy.

[JPC]

What?

[Adol Refai]

That's my skin. You're jabbing into my skin. Every time you do that, you're jabbing into my skin.

[JPC]

Okay, so bark is your skin. What's your eyes, man?

[Adol Refai]

Leaves, I guess.

[JPC]

What's your butt?

[Adol Refai]

Be kind of like my butt as well.

[JPC]

Roots are legs. Or if anything, it's. It's legs are how Would even make the like. Is that a good lyric?

[Adol Refai]

No, it's not.

[JPC]

Hold on. Can I use some of your skin to write this down? Thank you.

[Adol Refai]

Hey, man, I'm gonna hit you with the acorn. What if you. What are acorns?

[JPC]

Nuts.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah, man. I'm gonna hit you with my nuts.

[Aaron Keefe]

Don't threaten to throw me. Hi, I'm Acorn. It's nice to meet you. I really did not want to get in the middle of this.

[JPC]

Oh, my God. No, I'm sorry. You are you. He's beautiful.

[Adol Refai]

He's fucking banging on me. I can't, Dad.

[Aaron Keefe]

I don't know what to tell you. Be patient, okay?

[Adol Refai]

Be patient. It hurts.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm so young and you're. What? You're. You're way bigger than him. Okay? You're fine.

[JPC]

Sir, I'd like to ask.

[Aaron Keefe]

You have a whole family living inside you.

[Adol Refai]

I know. Excuse me? I know. I know I'm bigger than him. But I didn't get big by letting people walk all over me.

[Aaron Keefe]

You lit squirrels and birds walk all over you all day, every day.

[Adol Refai]

Squirrels and birds are guests. This guy's poking me. Stop. Stop. Hey, you know what I'm poisoning? I'm a poison oak. You ever heard of it?

[JPC]

I've heard of poison, okay? Every rose has its thorn.

[Adol Refai]

No way. You're not a hard rock woodpecker. That's not what you could be.

[JPC]

You think poison is hard rock? You think poison. You think poison is hard rock?

[Adol Refai]

I don't know. I mean, it's at least adjacent.

[Aaron Keefe]

So you guys have. You like talking to each other. This is. Okay, this can be symbiotic.

[Adol Refai]

I don't like talking to him.

[JPC]

I mean, I don't know.

[Aaron Keefe]

You sort of seemed interested just then. They find a little debate.

[JPC]

You guys got in my head. You're my fucking best friend. I guess.

[Adol Refai]

Okay, we can make this work.

[JPC]

I'd like to ask. Sir, I'd like to ask for your acorn's hand in your stem in marriage or whatever.

[Adol Refai]

Dude, I am not an old fashioned tree. You want to fuck around with acorn? It's between the two of you. As just not in my branches. That's the only thing I ask. Do it in the dirt on the floor.

[JPC]

Acorn. What do you think?

[Aaron Keefe]

Let's do it. Don't look, I laugh.

[Adol Refai]

Shake, shake, shake, shake. Get off, get off, get off.

[Aaron Keefe]

My loneliness is over.

[Adol Refai]

Do not nut on me.

[Aaron Keefe]

We see them get married. Little woodpecker acorn hybrids. They're horrible. They take over the world.

[JPC]

We see Them build a nest in that tree where they first met. And eventually they both pass on. And there's a single egg on the tree left.

[Adol Refai]

I know I should just toss this egg off out of the ground. It's an unholy abomination. I know I should just kill it. But it's the only thing I have left in my little acorn.

[JPC]

So hear me.

[Adol Refai]

God.

[Aaron Keefe]

Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack.

[Adol Refai]

Never mind. It's opening. It's opening.

[JPC]

Why am I.

[Aaron Keefe]

See?

[JPC]

Why am I. Oh, brother. Oh, that fucking rules.

[Adol Refai]

Damn it. That thing gets its own planet fucked up. Absolutely.

[Aaron Keefe]

I don't even get my own planet.

[Adol Refai]

You gave it away, Aaron.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, I thought because I thought we were all gonna do it that we're all gonna be floating through space again.

[Adol Refai]

You guys never said we were giving our planet.

[JPC]

We're not gonna be Flo like Jim carrey in Sonic 3.

[Adol Refai]

Okay. Big spoiler for sure.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm miss you guys when you're on your planet.

[JPC]

I wish I could say the same, but it's going to be nice to have some stretching room.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah, I at least sold my planet.

[JPC]

Oh, what'd you get for it?

[Adol Refai]

Lucky nickel.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, that's not enough.

[Adol Refai]

What? Made a bad deal.

[Aaron Keefe]

That's exactly what I'm saying.

[Adol Refai]

In the desert, I will bring you shade. Cup me and I will bring you water. Not so smart now. Are you guys coconut smart guy?

[Aaron Keefe]

We never said we were smart.

[Adol Refai]

Palm tree. It's a palm tree. Yeah, Al, you got it. We just do the tree things. No, we just do tree things. We have to move on. We can't do tree things back to back.

[JPC]

God, I must see a scene.

[Adol Refai]

Okay, man, I'm telling you, we're put.

[Aaron Keefe]

It at the end of the episode. But we are going to see it.

[Adol Refai]

What do you think that we do this? Do you think that we start putting things like this at the end of the episode?

[Aaron Keefe]

Gpc. I'm realizing now that you aren't listening to the episodes I'm doing content edits on. I'm chopping that up like I'm some sort of 23 year old director who loves.

[Adol Refai]

You're doing it like it's a just salad.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah.

[Adol Refai]

You're shaking up the whole episode.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm shaking it all up. I put plugs 10 minutes in. I'm nuts, man. I'm fucking 10 minutes in.

[Adol Refai]

Halfway through our conversation. Yeah, our pre show conversation.

[Aaron Keefe]

This is cool.

[JPC]

I'm Robert Eggers of editing these podcasts. I do want to see a scene. I'm going to be someone who's lost in the desert, wandering, and I'm so out of it, I'm so dehydrated and starved, that in the distance, I think I see Oasis. And the two of you will be Liam and Noel Greater.

[Aaron Keefe]

Stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself.

[Adol Refai]

You're obviously hitting me.

[Aaron Keefe]

Stop hitting yourself.

[Adol Refai]

Why would I. Why would I hit myself? You're obviously hitting me.

[JPC]

What the fuck? Oasis? Is this real?

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, he can see us.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, boy. He can see us.

[JPC]

Are. Are you Oasis?

[Adol Refai]

Well, luckily, we're not mature enough to drop what we were doing in front of a potential fan.

[Aaron Keefe]

Stop hitting yourself.

[Adol Refai]

Stop. Why don't you stop hitting yourself?

[Aaron Keefe]

Stop hitting yourself.

[Adol Refai]

You're not even the talented one.

[Aaron Keefe]

Which one am I?

[Adol Refai]

I don't remember which ones one of them is, though. We all know one of them is.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, which one?

[JPC]

Well, one of you is a talented songwriter.

[Adol Refai]

Nobody asked you.

[JPC]

The other one is a talented personnel.

[Adol Refai]

Nobody asked you.

[JPC]

Whoa, whoa. Do you.

[Adol Refai]

You know what? We're canceling it. We're canceling our tour.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yep. For attention.

[Adol Refai]

For attention.

[Aaron Keefe]

For attention.

[Adol Refai]

I have tickets, so. That's never stopped us before.

[JPC]

Could you play a song for me now?

[Adol Refai]

Oh, yeah. Why don't we just play one of our songs?

[Aaron Keefe]

You're my Wonder Woman.

[Adol Refai]

That's mine.

[JPC]

He's doing it.

[Adol Refai]

I did the song. That's mine.

[Aaron Keefe]

Stop singing. Stop singing yourself. Stop singing yourself. Champagne Supernova. Champagne Supernova.

[Adol Refai]

Nor those two Oasis songs. That's it.

[Aaron Keefe]

Champagne Supernova.

[JPC]

I died, didn't I?

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm in hell.

[Adol Refai]

You're on our planet.

[Aaron Keefe]

Two cactuses.

[Adol Refai]

We have to. We share this planet.

[Aaron Keefe]

Champagne.

[Adol Refai]

They saved that guy. They. They helicoptered down. He's just got. He's got his arms around two cactuses. He's just swaying around. You gotta be the one that saves me. All right.

[JPC]

Hell, yeah.

[Adol Refai]

When the hot.

[Aaron Keefe]

You're right. Those are the only two songs I could think of, by the way. Just so you know. You're right. That's the only. That's all I had. Good night, everybody.

[Adol Refai]

Don't look back in anger. Come on.

[Aaron Keefe]

How's that one go?

[Adol Refai]

You're gonna be the one that saves me.

[Aaron Keefe]

No. That's wonderful.

[Adol Refai]

And don't look back in anger.

[Aaron Keefe]

No. What is. What is. How does don't look back in anger.

[JPC]

Don't look back in anger.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, yeah. Okay. Okay. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, everybody. It's okay.

[JPC]

Live forever Fucking in the bushes.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, yeah. Live forever and live for gonna live.

[Aaron Keefe]

Forever Wonder wall.

[JPC]

One day you will find me Living forever Wonder wall Aaron's.

[Adol Refai]

A big oasis head.

[Aaron Keefe]

Champagne supernova. Champagne supernova.

[Adol Refai]

All right, class, Class. I'm wrapping my ruler on the desk. When the hot beast wrapping ruler go.

[Aaron Keefe]

I want to see a scene. You're wrapping ruler go.

[Adol Refai]

3, 10 millimeters, 4 inches. Drop a beat.

[Aaron Keefe]

There you go.

[Adol Refai]

There you go.

[JPC]

Here you go.

[Aaron Keefe]

Jbz. Whenever you're ready, rapping ruler.

[Adol Refai]

What if I'm ready? Well, I'm the rapping ruler and I'm slick. Check out my dick. It's like a yardstick. It's.

[Aaron Keefe]

Wow.

[Adol Refai]

Wow.

[Aaron Keefe]

The only thing a real Aaron Keefe. A real panic move if I ever saw that.

[Adol Refai]

No, I got. I got too caught up on the fact that the rapping ruler would compare his dick to a yardstick. Yeah, that's all. That's all I could think about. When the hot beast attacks the land, this red beast roars in to destroy it with its long snakes.

[JPC]

What is this, a Rudyard Kipling poem?

[Adol Refai]

They're all poems. These are some, like, poetry ass riddles. When the hot beast attacks the land, this red beast roars in to destroy it with its long snakes.

[JPC]

Red beast. Long snakes.

[Adol Refai]

Long snakes. It sounds like we're talking about the rapping ruler's dick.

[JPC]

I like a girl with the red beast and the long snakes. What could a beast longstakes?

[Adol Refai]

I like a girl with a wonder wall. I like a girl with the champagne supernova.

[JPC]

Oas cake.

[Aaron Keefe]

Coasis.

[JPC]

Cloacas.

[Aaron Keefe]

Cloacus.

[JPC]

Cloacas.

[Adol Refai]

Cloacas.

[JPC]

Red beast.

[Adol Refai]

Jason Cloacus. When the hot beast attacks the land, the red beast roars in to destroy it with its long snakes.

[JPC]

So are these like solar flare? The hotbeast is the sun.

[Adol Refai]

Wow. It's not solar flares. The hotbeast is not the sun.

[Aaron Keefe]

Can you give us a hint?

[JPC]

Oh, hot beast would be Kelsey Grammer, who played Beast, and he was fucking smoke show.

[Adol Refai]

What was the guy that played Beast in the Young X Men movies?

[JPC]

Oh, the guy from About a Boy. Nicholas Hoult.

[Adol Refai]

Nicholas Hoult. Yeah. What do we think? We think he's hotter than Kelsey Grammer. I hate to compare to very similar.

[Aaron Keefe]

And we all know that we consider Kelsey Grammer the gold standard of hotness on this show.

[JPC]

I mean, intelligence is beauty.

[Aaron Keefe]

And is he smart? In real life.

[Adol Refai]

He'S pretty conservative.

[Aaron Keefe]

So.

[Adol Refai]

Yes. No, it's not Kelsey Grammer. It's not Nicholas Hoult. When the hot beast attacks the land, this red beast roars in to destroy it with its long snakes. Let's see. Aaron, I think you'd certainly be a little More familiar with this one.

[JPC]

Period. Big old period. Big period.

[Adol Refai]

Are you ending a sentence? Helping you out. Helping you out.

[JPC]

Tampons. Big tampons. Hey, don't say big hot tampons.

[Adol Refai]

We can't say big hot tan.

[JPC]

Aaron, do tampons ever get hot? Do you.

[Aaron Keefe]

Fun fact, fun tip. Boil your tampons before you put them in.

[Adol Refai]

Why?

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay, if you have to ask why, then you don't know how the human body works.

[JPC]

I'm making tampon soup, Mike.

[Adol Refai]

It says, I would love it if they sold tampons. And, like, in small letters on the back of the box, just like, boil before use adult.

[Aaron Keefe]

Don't joke. That's what they had to do in the Great Depression. We're going into another recession. People had to. Families had to live off the tampon soup.

[JPC]

Tampon soup. Seems like a Roald Dahl story.

[Aaron Keefe]

Tampon soup for the teenage soul. Nobody take it. It's mine. It's mine. It's mine. It's mine. It's mine. It's mine.

[Adol Refai]

And what is your. And what is your. And you're not fighting for anyone.

[JPC]

No one's trying to grab this planet, Aaron. You don't have a planet to sell this on.

[Aaron Keefe]

I want tampon soup for the teenage soul.

[Adol Refai]

And, Aaron, just give us one little nugget of wisdom from Tampon Soup for the Teenage Soul.

[JPC]

And Casey dropped the rap beat.

[Aaron Keefe]

No, Casey, please. Casey, please, Casey.

[Adol Refai]

What goes around comes around.

[Aaron Keefe]

I got it. I got it. Well, my dick is as long as a yard stick. Stop it. Stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it. Let's sit in silence for one minute. I'm not even kidding. I want everyone. Skip ahead. I'm going to set a minute. I'm gonna do a timer of a minute.

[JPC]

Where are we putting this in the episode?

[Adol Refai]

End of the episode?

[Aaron Keefe]

We're putting it right here. It's not gonna be no for sure.

[Adol Refai]

For sure. This is good. At the end.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm set a timer, everybody. The audience. The audience deserves one minute of silence. And, Casey, don't add a little fart sound in there. Don't add a little Howard Dean scream. Don't add anything silly. We're gonna give them one minutes of pure silence. We've never done this on the show before. We're gonna see if we can do it. And it starts now. When were you horny.

[JPC]

Aaron? Let's stop the timer. Aaron. Aaron.

[Adol Refai]

Aaron, come on. You're not going to abide by the minute of. It's your minute of silence.

[JPC]

Was there caffeine in that taste, isn't it?

[Aaron Keefe]

Use.

[JPC]

Aaron. Don't sneeze over Aaron.

[Adol Refai]

Aaron.

[Aaron Keefe]

That is my favorite one. That is my favorite one. What? What was happening Pete? On a waiter before? Because we're sort of running through my worst of. We call this the Eren worst of.

[Adol Refai]

Aaron, we have to finish this. When the hot beast attacks the land, the red beast roars in to destroy it with its long snakes.

[JPC]

Don't you want some?

[Adol Refai]

And because of recent events, I'd think that you were more familiar.

[Aaron Keefe]

Fire.

[Adol Refai]

Okay, okay.

[Aaron Keefe]

Too soon.

[JPC]

Red beast. Fire hose.

[Adol Refai]

Not a fire hose.

[JPC]

Fire truck.

[Adol Refai]

It is a fire truck.

[JPC]

Wow.

[Adol Refai]

He roars in to destroy it with its long snakes. And the long snakes. Those are the hoax.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'd like to see a scene. Adol, you and I are like different means of transportation. We can pick. And JPC are a fire truck. And you're really smug. Cause you do a lot of good work.

[JPC]

Ding, Ding. Bicycle.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, hey, bike. It's so good to see you.

[JPC]

Good to see you. How are you doing?

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, my God. I'm doing great. I'm thriving. Feeling really. Oh, my God. Here it comes.

[Adol Refai]

Hey, no big deal. Please clear the road. Obviously.

[JPC]

Wow, a school bus. You didn't tell me you knew. Fire truck.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, yeah, we went to college together.

[JPC]

Whoa.

[Adol Refai]

Hey. So sorry. Sorry to break this up.

[JPC]

Huh?

[Adol Refai]

Clear the road, please.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, you don't have your sirens on, so we figured it was.

[Adol Refai]

I don't mean to show off. I don't want to show off, but clear the road. The road.

[JPC]

I'm on the sidewalk, Right?

[Adol Refai]

Well, you shouldn't be. You should be in the bike lane. Sidewalks aren't for bikes.

[JPC]

Okay, I'll get in the bike lane.

[Adol Refai]

I can actually get up on the sidewalk if I need to.

[JPC]

Whoa, whoa.

[Adol Refai]

It's actually legal for me to get up on the sidewalk if I need to.

[Aaron Keefe]

Come on.

[Adol Refai]

If people aren't moving and clearing the lane.

[Aaron Keefe]

Fire truck. I saw you on the front page of the paper the other day.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, did you? You get the paper? Good. Good for you.

[JPC]

Oh, sweet. School bus. Did you two date?

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, we did. Well, date. It was mostly like just so much sex. It's really sexual.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Aaron Keefe]

If everyone wants to picture that really quick.

[Adol Refai]

And I wasn't necessarily telling people that I was.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, me neither. I was embarrassed.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah. We were both single.

[JPC]

Okay, I'm gonna set a timer for one minute. I want us all to just sit and think about a school bus, a fire truck.

[Aaron Keefe]

Great. Great.

[Adol Refai]

Why would you. You think it was that way? Couldn't be a Fire truck, a school bus.

[JPC]

Okay, let's all think of a fire truck, a school bus.

[Aaron Keefe]

Let's just be honest. We were 69ing.

[JPC]

Ding, ding.

[Adol Refai]

My engine was on her stop sign.

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay, I've never called my mom on an episode before, but can I. Excuse me, I need help.

[JPC]

School bus. School bus look good.

[Aaron Keefe]

I want to ask her if I need a pep talk from my mom.

[JPC]

She wanted to say I need to talk to an adult, but she didn't want to be rude.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, can I talk to an adult?

[Adol Refai]

Aaron, would you like us to put the pep talk with your mom just at the end of the episode?

[Aaron Keefe]

Yes, please.

[Adol Refai]

Would that be a good end of the episode thing?

[Aaron Keefe]

Sure.

[JPC]

Hey, JPC.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah?

[JPC]

10 bucks her mom lets it go to voicemail.

[Aaron Keefe]

Let's see.

[Adol Refai]

Hey, hey, Adel, it's not going to matter because me and you are going to do that scene. Okay? I'll be Erin, you be her mom. Okay, Ready? Hey, Mom.

[JPC]

Hey, what's going on?

[Adol Refai]

Hey, it's Aaron and I just needed to hear your voice. I kind of don't know what I'm doing and I just want to. What? I'm sorry, Aaron. Oh, Keith, your daughter? Yeah.

[JPC]

Oh, yeah.

[Adol Refai]

What other.

[JPC]

Well, I better let you go.

[Adol Refai]

Why? What do you mean?

[JPC]

Oh, did you need something? Did you need money or.

[Adol Refai]

Money? Mom, I hardly ever call for money.

[JPC]

I mean, yes, cashier's check and you can take it to Western Union.

[Adol Refai]

That would be great.

[Aaron Keefe]

I really needed a voice messaging system.

[JPC]

Oh, someone owes me $10.

[Adol Refai]

I didn't take it that bit. All right, that's the. That's the episode, everybody.

[Aaron Keefe]

My mom didn't answer my call.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah, Aaron who? Your mom's screening the calls. Aaron, do you have anything that you would like to plug?

[Aaron Keefe]

Um, no. Adel, anything you'd like to plug?

[JPC]

I was gonna say I want to plug Aaron's mom, but that does not sound correct. Yep, yep, but can't be saying that. I mean to say I'm a big fan of Aaron's mom.

[Aaron Keefe]

And she is you as well. And she has you and you and you. And yes, she has you.

[JPC]

And we are all together. I want to plug Oasis. Go back and listening to what's the Story? Morning Glory, phenomenal album. Go see them on tour this summer as they hit a city near you. Two brothers who absolutely fucking hate each other's guts.

[Adol Refai]

Hate each other's guts.

[JPC]

Could not despise each other more. Noel has all the songwriting abilities. Liam is the modern day rock star. He might be the last rock star of Our days of our time. There's no other person on earth right now that is a that embodies and personifies rock stardom more than Liam Gallagher. Jvc. Anything to plug or promote?

[Adol Refai]

Sure. I would like to plug Aaron's sister's boyfriend, Aaron. Quick check. They still together?

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah. Jimmy.

[Adol Refai]

Jimmy. Shout out to him.

[Aaron Keefe]

Let's see if he made it to the end of this episode.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah, pass the phone call to the mom just to the plugging Jimmy section.

[Aaron Keefe]

Jimmy in the family group chat, which we've affectionately called Jimmy and friends now said that we are on fire lately. We're. That we're doing some good episodes.

[Adol Refai]

He thought, all right, Jimmy, then this whole episode's dedicated to. Also you can set if you want to get a review right on the show. You can submit a five star review anywhere today. I picked one from. It says maybe Rosie is maybe the name. I can't really see the full name, so I'll just say Rosie. Cheaper than Adderall and more readily available or reliably available. May have some side effects. But production doesn't get shut down whenever the DEA feels the need to prove that it's a big kid agency that everyone needs to take seriously or else. So that's a plus. Seems like that one was written shortage.

[Aaron Keefe]

You guys, I just want to quickly read what happened in the group chat after Jimmy said something so nice. I said, let it be known that Jimmy's the only one here that listens to Hay Riddle Riddle. Jimmy, thank you. You're carrying the whole team. And then everybody responded with all the podcasts that they listen to and how much they love it. And they start recommending podcasts to each other. And that goes on for like 40 texts. And I go, this turned into a conversation about everyone bragging about the podcast they listen to that aren't my podcast. And then I said farts and leaves the group chat. So I don't think I've said anything since. And that was a week ago.

[JPC]

Can JPC and I have Jimmy on the podcast? We just want to talk to him.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah. Oh, he would love that. And I think he would hate that. He's very soft spoken and sweet.

[Adol Refai]

We'll call it Jimmy and Friends.

[JPC]

We just want to talk to him about what his intentions are with our daughter.

[Adol Refai]

No, he needs to do the right thing. We fucking joke around about it a lot. But Jimmy needs to put up her shut up and needs to put his money where his mouth is.

[Aaron Keefe]

I think we need to stop telling Zorp Jimmy people in the world to Propose people.

[JPC]

You couldn't be more right, Jimmy. We will reserve an episode for you to propose. You can have a whole episode of Hayward. A riddle to propose. We'll make up riddles that lead to a proposal by the end of the episode. If you don't do this by September 1st of this year, you're a fucking coward.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, I am not even kidding.

[Adol Refai]

I think we can say this on air. We'll kill you.

[Aaron Keefe]

We'll kill you. We'll kill you, Jimmy.

[Adol Refai]

Jimmy, we'll kill you.

[JPC]

I'll let you.

[Aaron Keefe]

Molly will never hear her own proposal. Molly has listened to one episode of the show and I think it was Nintendo Cafe because it was kind of about her.

[Adol Refai]

Sure, Jimmy. Do the right thing. Marry Aaron's sister. Or we will kill you. Parody. Parody. Parody.

[Aaron Keefe]

Parody. Parody. Kill you.

[Adol Refai]

Parody.

[Aaron Keefe]

Parody. Parody. Parody. Allegedly. Jupiter. Parody. Parody. Allegedly.

[Adol Refai]

Alleged.

[Aaron Keefe]

Hi.

[Adol Refai]

Created by. Starring Aaron KE and John Patrick Cohen. Casey Tony did the editing and Marty Perrin did the music. Logo created by Emily Cardamus and Emily Naporus. Hey there, daddies and clones. If you like that, you are gonna love this week's Patreon. We bring you into the literary world of Danielle Steele. You can listen to that plus our entire back [e-mail] HaywardoBriddle by joining the clue crew for $5 a month. Or start your 7 day free trial or the review crew for $8 a month. Plus you get those ad free episodes. See you there.

[Aaron Keefe]

That was a Headgum podcast.