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Aaron
This is a headgum podcast.
Adol
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JPC
The doctor was the mother. He stood on a block of ice. Both of them were goldfish. He was the cannon of an airplane.
Marci Jarrow
He stabbed him with an ice array and the horses made Friday.
Aaron
Adol. Adol. Check it out. I gave JPC a tattoo. Do you wanna see?
Betsy Sedaro
Whoa. Where's it at on his body? Here?
Aaron
Lower back.
Betsy Sedaro
Not there. Not there. Oh, there it is. Whoa.
Aaron
Jpc, show Adel the new tattoo I gave you.
JPC
Can I wake up?
Aaron
Oh, yeah, wake up.
JPC
Okay. Aaron told me to sleep while she did something, so I was sleeping.
Aaron
Look at it.
Unnamed Guest
Look at it.
JPC
Playing possum, huh?
Betsy Sedaro
Well, speaking of possum, it seems like this is sort of a. It's a possum driving a red convertible.
Aaron
With a. Oh, he had that tattoo before. But look at the possum.
Marci Jarrow
Speech bubble.
Betsy Sedaro
Oh, a little higher. No, it is lower. Okay. It's speaking.
JPC
Yeah, the possum whispering into the bottom of the car.
Betsy Sedaro
Okay? And it's saying, look down here. Okay. And there's an arrow that kind of disappears below your underwear there.
Aaron
And then the arrow points to.
JPC
What do you think? On my lower back, below the underwear, what do we think the arrow is pointing to?
Betsy Sedaro
What will that point to?
Aaron
It says, haver the riddle.
JPC
Oh, in my butt.
Aaron
In his butt. Right where his butt goes.
Betsy Sedaro
Just have to trust.
Aaron
Do you love it? Do you want one? Just turning my tattoo pen back on. You love it. You want one? Same spot. You love it. You want one. Same spot.
Betsy Sedaro
Aaron. I tattoo. Ink makes me. Tatoo. Ink makes me think of Star Wars. Tatooine. And tatooine is something.
Aaron
I feel like you're changing the subject.
JPC
Yeah. Oh, wait.
Betsy Sedaro
Two people just walked in Aaron's tattoo store. Aaron, I'm so sorry. I have to get off the t Table here. Please welcome our guests. Today we have Betsy Sedaro and Marci Jarrow.
Aaron
Hi.
Marci Jarrow
We want tattoos.
Aaron
Love it.
Marci Jarrow
I want a tattoo.
JPC
Aaron's really good at tattoos.
Unnamed Guest
I want a ring around my butthole.
Aaron
Another ring. Yes. Great.
Marci Jarrow
Another ring. Yeah.
Betsy Sedaro
For every year of life.
Aaron
For every year of life.
JPC
If Saturn can have two, I can have two.
Betsy Sedaro
Marcy and Betsy, thank you so much for being here. From our sister podcast, A Funny Feeling on the Headgum Network. Yeah, I assume any. Any podcast on the Headgum Network is.
Aaron
A sibling or a cousin we're related to by blood. Yeah, for sure.
Unnamed Guest
Yeah, absolutely.
Marci Jarrow
Yes, yes. We have to do that, you know, yearly ritual where we all swap blood.
Unnamed Guest
Yes.
JPC
See, we've never actually been to the Christmas party because we are in Chicago, but we've heard about the blood swap and it sounds awesome.
Aaron
I'm here in LA and I go, yeah. Jake and Amir are like, give us your blood. Give us your bl. And we're like, okay, but only because it's Christmas.
Unnamed Guest
They have their little things and we try to go along with them because they're the bosses.
Betsy Sedaro
Oh, yeah. I feel like weekly we get. There's like a company wide email that's like, should we. Should we change it to blood gum? It's like, I think head gum works.
Marci Jarrow
Still is great. Blood gum will throw people off for sure.
Betsy Sedaro
But if you do have blood gum, this is. We don't want to make fun of it. Please get tested for receiving.
JPC
If you haven't get tested, you always have to be confirming. You never know if it's gone away.
Betsy Sedaro
Marcy and Betsy, this is a legally a riddle podcast. How do the two of you feel about riddles? Puzzles, lateral thinking problems, even escape rooms, crosswords, etc.
Unnamed Guest
Okay, well, we're both pretty stupid, right, Betsy?
Marci Jarrow
Marcy, how dare you?
Unnamed Guest
She doesn't know she's dumb, so be nice.
Marci Jarrow
Marcy, what the fuck is this, man?
Unnamed Guest
For this, Betsy, we think and we're stupid. I will do an escape room, but I've never been much of, like, a game player, which is funny to do so much improv in my life.
Marci Jarrow
Yeah, I like puzzles. I like jigsaw puzzles. I do like escape rooms. However, the first time I ever did one, it was with a very hardcore escape room dude. And for years I was turned off. And then I did it with nice people and I was like, oh, this is way more fun. I love Sudoku. I love Sudoku.
Betsy Sedaro
Marcy seemed really surprised by that.
Aaron
Yeah, we said we were here thinking stinky and dumb, but I. I might.
Unnamed Guest
Be the only dumb one in the podcast, then.
Marci Jarrow
Uh. Oh, yeah.
Aaron
Oh, no, I'm very dumb. And JPC over there. Jpc, tell him how dumb you are.
JPC
Big dump.
Marci Jarrow
That's a big dumb thumb, dude. Yeah, I like. I don't.
Unnamed Guest
Riddles.
Marci Jarrow
I'm a little like. I feel. Usually they're like. And the answer is this. I'm like, okay, all right. Like, kind of like that's most of our riddles.
JPC
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Betsy Sedaro
We've been going for eight years. I want to say seven years.
Unnamed Guest
Somewhere.
Betsy Sedaro
Somewhere in there.
JPC
Kidding me.
Marci Jarrow
What?
Betsy Sedaro
That can't be right. Is that right?
Aaron
And it's a lot of 20, 16. 18.
JPC
18.
Betsy Sedaro
Okay.
Unnamed Guest
Same, right, Betsy?
Marci Jarrow
I think so, yeah.
Unnamed Guest
Whoa.
Betsy Sedaro
It is a lot of, like, egg cloud, shadow, echo.
Aaron
Yeah, same answers.
Betsy Sedaro
There's a lot of answers where you just go, like, okay, yeah, we were.
Marci Jarrow
Just kind of like, oh, yeah, right. Like, okay, I guess. Yeah, why not?
JPC
We've run out of riddles. I'm sure you've run out of ghosts, right? I'm sure it's like, no, it's not just the same six ghosts.
Marci Jarrow
No, there's billions of ghosts.
Unnamed Guest
I would say that, like, I guess.
Marci Jarrow
Trillions, because so many people, every time.
Unnamed Guest
Someone dies, there's a new ghost. And now that, like, we've had a lot of weird activity in the United States, too, because paranormal goes past ghosts. So, like, we've had, like, you know, people seeing orbs and, you know, drones and just upset.
JPC
Ghost podcast might be more longevity than riddle podcast.
Betsy Sedaro
So on a. On a funny feeling, you talk about people's experiences with ghosts. Is there, like, with. With the answers for riddles where shadow egg tend to be in the. In the upper echelon of, like, how many times it's repeated? Is there a type of ghost or a. A haunted experience that tends to pop.
Aaron
Up or a location. They show up a lot.
Betsy Sedaro
Or location.
Marci Jarrow
Stairwell, A stairwell.
JPC
Stairwell.
Marci Jarrow
Every stairwell.
Unnamed Guest
Yeah. There's themes, for sure. There's a lot of themes. Like, a lot of, you know, ghosts are happening at night while people are going to sleep or waking up from sleep. And then there's the classic hat man, the shadow man wearing a big hat. People see that. Oh, my God. Yeah. And then depending on what part of the world there are different, like, you know, different cultures are kind of seeing similar things or having something that is just like, whoa, I've never heard of that here. So there are some patterns with it, for sure.
Betsy Sedaro
Okay.
Marci Jarrow
Yeah.
Betsy Sedaro
Do we think. Is there going to be a time where we get To a place where people start seeing ghosts. Because typically ghosts are seen in like a white dress or like a suit and a hat, like you said. Is there going to be a time where we hit ghosts being in like jean shorts and vans?
Marci Jarrow
It's already here. We're seeing that. We're seeing that.
Unnamed Guest
Dude, tell them about the kitchen ghost.
Marci Jarrow
There's one story I'm going to. Not I'm paraphrasing big time, but one story where somebody walked into their kitchen and there was a ghost doing dishes and the ghost turned around and was startled by them. Isn't that nuts?
Betsy Sedaro
But that's like the other side of the.
Aaron
That would hurt my feelings so much if a ghost was scared of me.
Unnamed Guest
What is interesting about it is the kitchen was decorated slightly differently. I forgot about that part. And the ghost. And it was like, oh. And it was a new construction. So, like, the person was like, I think I like the others. Spoiler. Like they think they were the ghosts because they were like, oh, that's not what my kitchen currently looks like. And this is a new build.
Marci Jarrow
Isn't that nuts?
JPC
That's why, Aaron, I can see with your kind of like general pallor, a ghost being kind of off put by running into you and then quickly, quickly being like, no, no, no. Why?
Aaron
Because I look like a Victorian corpse. Cause of my skin and my hair, my eyes and my whole vibe, in essence.
Unnamed Guest
Yes.
JPC
I guess I have to say yes. Right. Cause that's what.
Aaron
And I get that.
JPC
Yeah.
Aaron
Lonnie.
JPC
Right.
Marci Jarrow
You are wearing a big old nasty wedding dress right now.
Aaron
Yeah. And it's blood stained because that's where I got stabbed by my husband on my wedding day.
Betsy Sedaro
Now what makes a wedding dress nasty? Let's.
Marci Jarrow
To me, a lot of. They're all kind of nasty to me. The idea of marriage, man. Nasty. No, you know, you know what I'm talking about that series recording behind a brick wall, so.
JPC
Or in front of a brick wall. It would be in front. You go to stand up clubs and.
Marci Jarrow
You can't stand up. I do it all from behind. I'm like, I do not want the audience to see me. I will stand behind this brick wall.
Aaron
The bride ghost is such a common one. I grew up in New England and our like, sleepover spooky story was everyone was always like, my cousin's brother's other cousin was driving down the streets in Massachusetts and a bloody bride came out of the woods across the street. Like, that's. I feel like a common one.
Marci Jarrow
Good.
Unnamed Guest
Yeah. Jilted. Jilted.
Marci Jarrow
Jilted lovers. Big old ghosts.
Betsy Sedaro
Big, big time.
JPC
Popular ghosts are people killing them when they're on their wedding day. I guess if it's like a. It's like a money thing, you think the wedding day is gonna be the happy day, right?
Unnamed Guest
Have you never watched Dateline? That is when men are killing. Men are killing as soon as they have any responsibility and pressure. I don't know why you got. You got. You two talk amongst your. Come back with an answer. But like, honeymoons are.
Marci Jarrow
Honeymoon.
JPC
They are honeymoon.
Aaron
Cruises. On honeymoons. On cruises.
JPC
Honeymoons I see. Honeymoons I get. But the wedding day, I mean, like, Adol and I are both married. We had like a wedding day. It's also like, you're pretty exhausted after that thing too. It's. It's hard. It's hard to imagine, like, doing anything.
Aaron
Is that what stopped you on your wedding day? You were tuckered out?
JPC
That's the only thing that stopped me. I mean, I have also, like, my feelings stopped me, but it's one of the things that stopped me.
Betsy Sedaro
Yeah.
Unnamed Guest
I will say you're saying not all men. Okay, okay, all right, all right.
Betsy Sedaro
Not all jilted dead brides. But I'll say the day of my wedding, that night I was like, this ring is so uncomfortable. I'm not used to wearing a ring. I was like, I could just kill her right now.
Unnamed Guest
Yeah.
Betsy Sedaro
And I didn't. So I think I feel like just wearing a ring when you have it, your whole life just feels off. Right.
Aaron
And also we went. We would be bold at your wedding. Adult. So you are real sleepy by the end there.
Betsy Sedaro
Real sleepy.
JPC
There's naps for a wedding.
Unnamed Guest
Fun.
JPC
That's seven lives.
Unnamed Guest
I do think when they're killing on weddings, it's mostly maybe people backing out of weddings or like, that kind of thing. And then there's a lot of high emotions around it.
Betsy Sedaro
So it's like that Juliet, that horror film with Julia Roberts where she doesn't want to get married and so she kills the groom.
Marci Jarrow
Oh, yeah.
Aaron
Broadway Bride is about it.
Unnamed Guest
Jilted Bride.
JPC
I think you maybe have only seen a trailer for that movie, Adol, which isn't to say you're wrong. It's just to say you've only seen the trailer.
Betsy Sedaro
Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Every movie is about 90 to 120 seconds, right? Yeah, because I've seen millions of movies.
Marci Jarrow
I go. And then I leave the AMC theater as soon as Nicole Kidman starts talking.
Betsy Sedaro
I watch five to six. I watch five to six Movies.
Marci Jarrow
That's it.
Betsy Sedaro
And it's about eight minutes in the.
JPC
Valley and like two Subaru commercials now because they're just doing regular ass commercials at movies now, which is insane.
Unnamed Guest
And they got us, right, Betsy? We both got Subarus.
Marci Jarrow
Yeah.
Aaron
Oh, wow.
Unnamed Guest
Because of that commercial, we got Coca Colas and Subaru.
Marci Jarrow
Subaru.
Aaron
I do think one time I saw you at a distance at an AMC in Los Angeles maybe like a year ago.
Unnamed Guest
What?
Aaron
I don't know the movie, but I think it was at the Burbank one. I don't know, frequented that.
Marci Jarrow
Man 1.
Aaron
Yeah, yeah, I think I saw you walking in.
Marci Jarrow
Yes.
Unnamed Guest
You happen to see Marilyn Manson at that same theater? Because if so, I was also there. Remember when Marilyn Manson was there, we.
Marci Jarrow
Were going to see a movie.
Aaron
He see.
Marci Jarrow
What did he go and see? I feel we knew what he saw.
Unnamed Guest
I don't know what he saw, but my friend Chelsea saw what kind of soda mix he got, which was like a Diet Coke with cherry and vanilla.
Betsy Sedaro
Wow, Classic Manson.
JPC
I knew that guy was a fucking disgusting dude. But this confirms it. This is the thing that confirms it.
Aaron
This is the straw.
Betsy Sedaro
Well, let's get into those sort of. We accidentally did sort of a funny feeling mini episode where you were our guests. We hosted your podcast.
Aaron
Yeah, it was way more fun than riddles. God damn it.
Betsy Sedaro
You pose us some riddles. No, we'll give you some. Let's do some warm up riddles. This will be. Let's start with some hink pinks. Now a hink pink is going to be a riddle where you get some clues. And the answer is going to be two words that rhyme with each other. Oh, if that makes sense. Okay, so for example, sake, if we said a just and equitable grizzly, that would be a fair bear.
Marci Jarrow
Okay.
Unnamed Guest
Okay.
JPC
Yep.
Betsy Sedaro
Okay, so the clue will lead to a rhyming two word answer.
Marci Jarrow
Does that make sense?
JPC
Yes, that makes sense to me.
Betsy Sedaro
Cool. Let's try a very smart undercover agents. Very smart undercover agents.
Unnamed Guest
Sly spy.
Aaron
Ooh.
Betsy Sedaro
I mean, that works. That is fantastic.
Marci Jarrow
Marsie.
Betsy Sedaro
I have a different word here, but spy is part of it. But it's plural. So it is spies.
JPC
Oh, it's okay.
Aaron
Wise spies.
Betsy Sedaro
Wise spies is what they have here. But sly spy works just as well. So I do want to give you credit for this.
Aaron
I would like to see a seed.
JPC
What's the clue? Did the clue say multiple spies? Didn't it just say an undercover agent?
Betsy Sedaro
Yeah, very smart undercover agents.
Marci Jarrow
Agents, agents, agents.
Betsy Sedaro
I maybe didn't hit that S. I'd.
Aaron
Like to see a scene. Jpc, Adol and Marcie, you are the Spice Girls. And, Betsy, you're coming in, pitching yourself as a new kind of Spice Girl to the group.
Marci Jarrow
Okay.
Betsy Sedaro
I just feel like we should end all our songs with Ziggy Zig. Ah. Like, it just feels like if we say it enough, it's like a catchphrase.
Unnamed Guest
I hate having this conversation every week.
Marci Jarrow
Hello. Put your clothes on. I'll keep them off. I don't mind.
Unnamed Guest
We're in various states of undress.
Betsy Sedaro
Oh, thank you for the resume. Your name and where you're from, please.
Marci Jarrow
My name is Bethany and I'm from England, and I would love.
JPC
Same. Same, same, same.
Unnamed Guest
Not Bethany, though. Name's Jerry.
Marci Jarrow
Oh, yes. Yes. Nice to meet. Meet y'all. Nice to meet y'all. So I was hoping that I could become one of you Spice Girls.
Betsy Sedaro
Okay.
JPC
Well, I mean, that's the whole point of these auditions because of. Because of the horrible accident, which we won't talk about where we lost. What would it be? 40% of the group. RIP Victoria. And who else do we think is the bus driver? And bus driver.
Marci Jarrow
Oh, that bus driver was a very good singer.
JPC
Yes. Drive Spice.
Unnamed Guest
We use on the bus.
JPC
Go round and round.
Unnamed Guest
Round.
Betsy Sedaro
Ziggy Zig.
Unnamed Guest
Ah.
Marci Jarrow
Really good. I really think I will be beneficial to the Spice Girls because Look at. Look at me move my legs.
Unnamed Guest
Oh, looks like a windmill.
Betsy Sedaro
Okay. Wow.
Marci Jarrow
Have you ever seen that?
JPC
I've never seen someone do that while standing up.
Marci Jarrow
Yes.
Unnamed Guest
Also, I hate to ask, did I. It's like when you go to Soarin at California Adventure at Disney. I smell. I smell.
JPC
I smelled it, too.
Marci Jarrow
You have different oranges.
Unnamed Guest
I smelled oranges and fir trees. Yes. Conifers.
JPC
If I'm being quite honest, it didn't feel intentional. It felt like maybe that was something that. Or that was.
Marci Jarrow
Or what? You think I farted while I did it and you think my farts smell like fir trees and oranges? Well, you're correct. I'm farting spice. You gotta let me in.
JPC
Can you guarantee they're all going to have that kind of conifer, delightful potpourri aroma or.
Marci Jarrow
Well, it depends.
JPC
Potpourri.
Marci Jarrow
I ate potpourri. It depends on what I eat. Eat. But I can, like, even if I drink Mountain Dew. You will smell Mountain Dew when I windmill my.
JPC
Oh, it's like a Wonder Woman.
Unnamed Guest
I love that.
Marci Jarrow
Yeah. May I be in the Spice Girls?
Unnamed Guest
Okay. Well, it's not only. It's not only dancing, though. And. And. And what would you call that not oral, but olfactory. Olfactory, yeah.
Betsy Sedaro
Can I just say, the Spice Girls. Not all oral.
JPC
No, it's not all oral, to be quite honest. The olfactory, it's only really gonna come up at, like, certain concerts and in, like, the front row, I would say mostly for us.
Unnamed Guest
Yeah. But, I mean, there's a little bit singing, not we don't have to be great at it, but a little bit of it.
Marci Jarrow
If you want to be my lover Whoa.
Unnamed Guest
Shit. Wow. That is blowing, dude.
Aaron
Seed. I always beg to be Farty Spice at the playground when we play Spice Girls. Everyone would always fight to be her Farty Farty.
Betsy Sedaro
I just love this small push of if you want to be my lover.
Aaron
Isn't it so funny that Party Spice is married to David Beckham now? Crazy.
Marci Jarrow
Yeah. She broke him up. That's so wild.
Betsy Sedaro
Here we go. Another hink pink. A meat eater in the largest city in Maryland. A meat eater in the largest city.
Marci Jarrow
Carnivore. Baltimore.
Betsy Sedaro
Yeah, it's a Baltimore Carnivore, but yeah, yeah.
Marci Jarrow
Baltimore Carnivore, which is a. Wow, Is.
Betsy Sedaro
That a slant rhyme? Baltimore Carnivore. I guess it's a full album.
JPC
Baltimore Carnivore.
Betsy Sedaro
It's just the whole. Words don't rhyme. Just the last four letters, but still works.
JPC
Do your names rhyme? Does Sadaro and Jaro rhyme? That's a rhyme, right?
Unnamed Guest
Yeah, it's a close. It's close.
JPC
Yeah, it's close. It's like Carnivore in Baltimore.
Unnamed Guest
She has more syllables, but. Yeah.
Marci Jarrow
Yeah.
JPC
Oh, damn it.
Unnamed Guest
You didn't believe me. You didn't believe me.
JPC
I did the gen test.
Aaron
Yeah.
JPC
I thought I could get Betsy's last name in two. I was like, surely I could get that name in two.
Marci Jarrow
Sor.
JPC
I mean, we're talking about six letters. I can't do six letters at two syllables.
Unnamed Guest
It's interesting because I do have a lot more letters in my name than she has.
Marci Jarrow
French for you.
Unnamed Guest
That's that French stuff.
Marci Jarrow
There's like a billion letters, and then they go like, bleh. And you're like, no, there's no way you just said all that.
Unnamed Guest
No, they're like, no, no, no, no, no. You don't pronounce them all. There's a secret to when you pronounce them, and we're not telling you.
Marci Jarrow
We'll never tell you. You're like, okay.
Betsy Sedaro
I'm like, these eight letters say Jacques.
Aaron
Yes, I. For a second.
Marci Jarrow
No way.
Betsy Sedaro
How about a very weighty. Very weighty Impala or Camaro very weighty. Impala or Camaro very weighty.
JPC
Oh, heavy Chevy.
Aaron
That's a heavy Chevy.
Marci Jarrow
Nice heavy Chevy.
JPC
I know car brands. It's the one thing I know.
Betsy Sedaro
How about a between meal treat for a Himalayan ox?
Unnamed Guest
Yak snack.
Marci Jarrow
Yak snack.
JPC
Wow.
Betsy Sedaro
Do you guys ever have yak backs?
Unnamed Guest
What?
Betsy Sedaro
I might be the oldest one in this. In this recording, but I do remember.
JPC
A yak back Home Alone.
Marci Jarrow
Are you talking to it?
Betsy Sedaro
Yeah. So you talk into it and then press a button and it plays it back. It plays back whatever you do or say.
Marci Jarrow
Yeah.
Betsy Sedaro
There's some amount of effects going on.
Marci Jarrow
Yak back.
JPC
Does he use that at Home Alone? Is. Is Macaulay Culkin doesn't. A lot of the things he does. A talk boy.
Marci Jarrow
Yeah.
Betsy Sedaro
Yeah. I didn't. I didn't have the money for it.
Marci Jarrow
I know. I wanted one so bad. And my parents were like, no way. We can't afford.
Betsy Sedaro
We didn't all grow up with seven or eight brothers and sisters and yearly trips to Paris that one of us were left behind with in the biggest house in the biggest house in the suburbs of Illinois. How about a person who eats copious amounts of sheep meat?
Marci Jarrow
Sheep meat. A person who eats copious amounts of sheep meat. And. And that's it. That's the question.
JPC
That's going to be a normal man.
Aaron
I want a sound bite of you saying that. But that I can play on the show after every riddle. And that's it. That's the question.
Marci Jarrow
And we're okay.
JPC
Called a thing a pew. Ew.
Marci Jarrow
A pew Ew.
Betsy Sedaro
I mean, that's. That rules.
Marci Jarrow
Guy named Spirit who likes to eat meat.
JPC
He likes to eat cheap meat.
Marci Jarrow
Cheap mints.
Betsy Sedaro
No, I believe this is a term for, like older sheep.
JPC
Like, is haggis. Isn't haggis sheep? Or that's stomach.
Betsy Sedaro
That's like.
Marci Jarrow
Yeah, that's like stomach.
JPC
Yeah. I'll take my answer offline.
Aaron
Marcy's face was just.
Unnamed Guest
I can't wait to hear what this is. I can't wait. I'm already mad. Let's do it. What is it?
Aaron
Welcome to. Hey, Riddle. Riddle. This is. How many minutes in are we? 27 minutes. I love it. That's about the time everyone gets mad.
JPC
I do want to see a scene. Adel, you're going to be playing a butcher. We're all going to be various customers who keep coming up to the butcher counter at the grocery store or whatever. And all you have today is sheep meat. And you're trying to spin it based on what People request.
Betsy Sedaro
Great. And JPC sidebar. Do you want me to do it like butcher from the boys? You know that guy who's like, oh, oh, yeah.
JPC
I want you to feel free to be Australian and whatever slurs that they can say, feel free to say them just as they're normal as well.
Betsy Sedaro
I'll just play. I'll play a ring alert.
JPC
That's what he was fishing for.
Aaron
That sounds too fun.
JPC
Excuse me, I will take a half pound of the 80. 20 Chuck.
Betsy Sedaro
Okay. Did you. Sorry. Did you grab a number?
JPC
Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah. You called 47. I'm. I'm 47.
Betsy Sedaro
Okay. Yeah, just. You just have to hand me.
Unnamed Guest
Did you call 46? My kids are so hungry. Did you call number 46? My kids are in the car. It's so hot and the windows are.
Marci Jarrow
Take them out of the car, lady.
Unnamed Guest
I. No, I got. I just said it was going to be real quick, but there's. There's 40 people in this shop and I. I just need. I need.
JPC
I didn't hear 46. But you. You go ahead of me because I'm 47. So if. If you want to go ahead. That.
Aaron
No, no, no, no. That will be Anna.
JPC
She said she had kids in the car. I mean, come on.
Aaron
We all have kids in the car.
Unnamed Guest
All our kids in the car.
Marci Jarrow
We left our. I think we should take them out. But I followed everybody else. I was like, oh, all their kids are in the car fight. And I'll put them in the car and put the heat on.
Betsy Sedaro
Everyone, please, please. I have kids in the car of my own. Let's get through this. Okay, I did call 46. That was about five minutes ago.
Unnamed Guest
Oh my God. I was. I was on my phone. I can't open any of my apps.
JPC
Well, let's not.
Betsy Sedaro
I'll take care of 47 and then we'll go to 46. Okay.
Unnamed Guest
Well, okay, I guess you're doing a countdown.
Betsy Sedaro
You know what? You're right. We're gonna go from 46 back down to 1. If you're 48 or above, just know you're gonna be here for a minute.
Aaron
Oh wah boo.
Marci Jarrow
Hess, come on.
Unnamed Guest
Kiss your kids goodbye.
JPC
I gotta stop coming at this grocery store.
Aaron
You know, I'm just shoves everyone out of the way. I'm just gonna go. Can I have two lobster tails and eight oysters, please?
Betsy Sedaro
I have to respect someone who knows what they want. So let's see here. Two lobster tails and. Okay, that'll be $138.
Aaron
Wait, what did you just Put down on the counter, though, two lobster tails.
Betsy Sedaro
And I grabbed. I went into the seafood case and I grabbed a handful of something.
Unnamed Guest
No, no, no, that's ground. I see that. That's ground.
Marci Jarrow
I've never seen a.
Betsy Sedaro
Well, hold on. This is. Yes, it is ground beef, but this is from a cow that walked into the ocean. So this is technically seafood. This is still under law.
JPC
Part of that's beef.
Betsy Sedaro
Yeah, it's beef.
JPC
What do you think beef is?
Betsy Sedaro
Beef is anything with four legs that you find in the ocean.
Marci Jarrow
Find in the ocean. Four legs.
Aaron
This happened last year. This happened last year where all you gave us with sheep meat. We're not falling for it again. I want my oysters and I want my lobster.
Betsy Sedaro
Okay.
Unnamed Guest
And it's very hot. So you got.
Aaron
You.
Unnamed Guest
You got to make sure you refrigerate that.
JPC
Attention safe park shoppers. There are 100 Subarus in the parking lot full of children.
Unnamed Guest
Okay, we knew that. What was that announcement telling us?
Marci Jarrow
Just stuff we know.
Unnamed Guest
Seed, seed, seed.
Betsy Sedaro
So a person who eats copious amounts of sheep meat. I'll also say that we're saying this is also. This isn't in reference to any butchery. I don't believe. But this is also called blank chops.
Marci Jarrow
Chops.
Betsy Sedaro
Blank chops is a term that's usually, I think, relegated for facial hair.
Marci Jarrow
Oh, mutton.
JPC
Mutton.
Marci Jarrow
So a person who has a sheep is a glutton. Mutton. Mutton. Glutton.
Unnamed Guest
That's not gonna play in America.
Marci Jarrow
Yeah, that was too British.
JPC
Has anyone had mutton before? Have you?
Marci Jarrow
Anyone eaten mutton? I want to say probably at some point of just like older sheep. I've had lamb. A bunch.
JPC
Okay.
Unnamed Guest
A bunch.
Marci Jarrow
Yeah. Anytime. Anytime. You go to Greece, you eat a lot of lamb, and it's delicious. I know they're cute, but they also taste really.
Unnamed Guest
Hey, guess what? So are all the other animals.
Marci Jarrow
So is everything else I eat really cute?
JPC
Yeah, hell, I think a Greek person's cute, and I'd eat one if I was hungry.
Marci Jarrow
Oh, hell yeah, dude.
Betsy Sedaro
Hell, yeah. I do want to see a scene.
JPC
Who's a Greek person?
Marci Jarrow
I guess just Jason Monogapian.
JPC
Manu. We did Manu on the show.
Aaron
Yeah, sweet, sweetie.
Unnamed Guest
Olympia Dukakis, anyone? The entire cast of My Big Fat Greek Wedding, except for John Corbett, I.
Betsy Sedaro
Have to assume by proxy. Michael Dukakis related.
Aaron
Probably grand proxy, this one.
Betsy Sedaro
I do want to see a scene. Betsy, you are yourself. You're on vacation in Greece, let's say Santorini, Just to give you a nice mental image of all those beautiful blue roofs. So you're in Santorini on vacation. Aaron, you are a. You're a lamb who's also on vacation. And the two of you happen to sort of sit next to each other on a bench and there's sort of an awkward moment where Betsy is getting a little hungry.
Aaron
Wow.
Marci Jarrow
This sunset.
Aaron
Do you mind if I just scooch in next to you?
Marci Jarrow
Yeah. I've got to look at this sunset. Like, it's so cool how this whole island plans around the sunset their whole day, you know?
Aaron
It's incredible. I love traveling. I love it. It's a passion of mine.
Marci Jarrow
Yeah, same.
Aaron
You're all landing. It smells amazing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I'm here with my husband. We're doing a first year anniversary thing.
Marci Jarrow
Oh, congrats.
Aaron
Thank you so much.
Marci Jarrow
Congrats.
Aaron
You were eating something and it's smells divine. I'm so sorry to bother you. What is that? It smells incredible.
Marci Jarrow
A gyro. We like Taziki and french fries.
Aaron
And onions, tomatoes and what's the protein in that? Because I could.
Marci Jarrow
I am.
Aaron
Smells familiar too. I don't know why. It reminds me of my husband.
Marci Jarrow
Sorry, it reminds you of your husband?
Aaron
Yeah, the smell of it. I don't know why. It's just evoking.
Marci Jarrow
Oh, my God. Get out. You know, I. Okay, it's. It's lamb in here. It's your. It's you.
Aaron
Ha ha, ha ha. That's very funny. What is that? Is that beef or.
Marci Jarrow
No, it's lamb. You can get beef gyros, but I feel when you're in Greece, you gotta go for the lamb.
Aaron
What?
Marci Jarrow
Yeah.
Aaron
Oh, my God.
Marci Jarrow
I think that smells like your husband. I don't know if I'm eating your husband. Where's your husband?
Aaron
I don't know. He wandered off this morning and I haven't seen him.
Unnamed Guest
Help. Someone took my leg.
Aaron
Oh, my God. My husband.
Marci Jarrow
That crazy woman cut my leg off.
Aaron
Hey, lady, where's your husband? Cause I'm gonna eat his legs.
Marci Jarrow
I don't have a husband. Been. He fell out. Cruise boat on our honeymoon. Fell off.
Unnamed Guest
A murderous feminist kill took my leg.
Aaron
Oh, my God. You know what, lady? I'm going to find something you care about and I'm going to eat it.
Marci Jarrow
Okay? Okay. Yeah, I'll. Oh, you know what I care about? I care about poop. Go eat that.
Unnamed Guest
That's not true.
Aaron
Damn it.
Unnamed Guest
I saw her chasing Pokemon Go.
Aaron
All those big Pokemon.
Marci Jarrow
Eat my Pokemon Goes. Don't you dare go near those.
Aaron
I could go down there and save my husband, or what's left of him. But instead, I'm gonna. I'm gonna. I'm go for revenge.
Unnamed Guest
Don't you dare seek vengeance, baby.
Aaron
And I will. And I will.
Marci Jarrow
I'm gonna eat the rest of your husband. I'm gonna eat the rest of your husband. I'm gonna put him on a spit, and I'm gonna roast him over fire, and he's gonna be delicious. I'm gonna feed all of Santorini.
Aaron
You're a monster.
Marci Jarrow
No, you're the monster. Trying to get my Pokemon Go creatures to eat.
Aaron
SCENE.
Marci Jarrow
One time when I was in Santorini, she killed someone. We were, like, wandering around, and the sun was setting, and it's just, like, unbelievable. It's the most beautiful place in the world. And there was this great big husky sitting on a wall looking out at the sunset with the biggest dog boner.
Aaron
What?
Marci Jarrow
It was so funny. The dog was so happy just sitting on a wall watching the sunset. I was like, this is Greece, man. This is even. The dogs are just, like, getting big old boners for the sunset. It was incredible.
Betsy Sedaro
Wait. Dog boner. Donor. Donor kebab. Oh, no. I think I've eaten dog cock.
JPC
All right, let's take a little break. We need a reset. We're gonna take an ad break.
Aaron
Oh, we need a reset. That felt like the perfect energy.
JPC
Yeah, we could barrel through, but it's time for ads anyway. Hey, everyone. Today I want to talk to you about Found. As a fellow small business owner, I really relate to the struggle of managing your finances while also trying to grow your business. After all, who's got time to eat a thousand locusts? Or eat 2,000 locusts?
Aaron
Uh. Oh, no, that might not be the right amount of locusts.
Betsy Sedaro
Thank you, Katharine Hepbard.
Aaron
That might not be the right amount of locusts.
JPC
Hey, Aaron, can I talk to you for a second?
Aaron
Yeah. What's up?
JPC
I said before we recorded this ad that I wanted to be the guy that did the funny thing in this ad. Okay. And then you came on with a brand new super funny character.
Aaron
I got that.
JPC
Snake throat.
Aaron
I got it. I got it. I got it. I won't do snake throat. I'll save snake throat for a different ad. Fine.
JPC
Okay. I'm gonna continue with the copy. Okay.
Betsy Sedaro
Okay, great.
JPC
And please don't do snake throat.
Aaron
Okay.
JPC
That's why I started using Found. Found is a business banking platform that has made everything about managing my business finances, from automatically tracking expenses for me to helping me manage invoices to find write offs yeah.
Marci Jarrow
Found has saved me so much time. It has honestly helped me be smarter.
Aaron
About how I handle my money.
Marci Jarrow
It's such a headache having a business. I don't want to have to be stressed about it all the time.
Betsy Sedaro
Thanks. Snake mouth. Snake throat. Stay out of it.
Aaron
It's both.
Betsy Sedaro
Huh?
JPC
Wait. Now. Now it seems okay. I can see that nobody's on my side here, so I'm just going to make like a tree and root out the problem. You're both outta here.
Betsy Sedaro
Oh, speaking of tree, we have Mr. Pine. Oh, and by the way, other small businesses are loving Found too. This Found user said Found is going to save me so much headache. It makes everything so much easier. Expenses, income, profits, taxes, invoices even. And found has 30,000 five star reviews just like this. Open a Found account for free at F O u n d com Riddle Found is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking services are provided by Piermont bank member fdic. Don't put this one off. Join thousands of small business owners who have streamlined their finances with Found. And now to sleep for a thousand years.
JPC
He's gone.
Marci Jarrow
That's found.comf o u n d.comriddle okay.
JPC
I was supposed to do this whole thing about how I use the business to buy a bunch of locusts because I eat locusts. But I guess we're just not doing that thing because we got Steak Mouth and the tree gu. Open a Found account for free@found.com Riddle.
Aaron
Sorry, jpc sorry man, but it's really fun to drive you insane.
JPC
Yeah.
H
Hi, I'm Kat. And I'm Pat. We're from Seek Treatment podcast and we're here to talk about Blueland. Do you know what I'm so about right now, Pat?
Aaron
What?
JPC
Tell me. Do not not tell me.
H
Well, ready for this? I just heard that we're eating and drinking roughly a credit card's worth of plastic a week. Yeah, that's right.
JPC
Oh my God.
H
I know. The products we're using are contaminating our water supply, generating hundreds of microplastics that we're eating. So here's the good news. You're never going to believe this. Blueland is doing something about it. They're eliminating the need for single use plastic in the products we reach for the most.
JPC
From cleaning sprays to hand soap, toilet bowl cleaner and laundry tablets, all Blueland products are made with clean ingredients that you can feel good about. Blueland is trusted in over 1 million homes, including mine.
Aaron
That's correct.
H
They offer refillable cleaning products with a beautiful cohesive design that looks great on your counter and refills start at just 2.25. You can even set up a subscription or buy in bulk for additional savings. I use my Blueland spray today. I cleaned my dirty dirty dirty yoga mat with my blueland All Purpose spray today. It smelled good, it got the job done and the bottle looked beautiful while doing it.
JPC
Blueland has a special offer for listeners right now.
Aaron
Get 15 off your first order by.
JPC
Going to blueland.com/15 you won't want to miss this.
H
Blueland.com Save 15 for 15 off. That's blueland.com Save 15 to get 15.
Unnamed Guest
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Aaron
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Betsy Sedaro
Okay Betsy, thank you so much for signing this contract. This legally allows us to sell merch with a beautiful husky watching a sunset with a giant dog boner.
Marci Jarrow
Big old dog boner dude, big old dog boner.
JPC
And it says, greetings from Santorini.
Aaron
Yes.
Marci Jarrow
Yes.
Aaron
Honestly, that should be the image for the tourism board of Santorini. Because that truly made me be like, I think I should check it out.
Marci Jarrow
It was like I went. I was there with mono and our friend Jessica. And we still talk. Like, we're always like, remember that dog sitting on the wall enjoying the sunset so much?
Betsy Sedaro
Now, do we think it was a situation of, like, the dog just had dog sex and then it was, you know, it was relaxing and it just went to watch the sunset before it fell asleep? Or was it like a thing of, like, the sunset gave the dog a bone?
Marci Jarrow
I don't know.
Unnamed Guest
We gotta know the refractory period for a husky, I guess, to figure who.
Aaron
Wants to curse their computer forever by Googling that? Who's gonna fall on that sword?
JPC
Husky refractory beard.
Unnamed Guest
How long to take a husky to be ready to go again?
Betsy Sedaro
Grease boner. Okay, a lot of photoshopped Travolta here.
JPC
I have a breeding husky who seems like it's not breeding as much as I would like. There's gotta be some dog breeders out there that know the answer to that question. Here's the thing.
Marci Jarrow
Oh, yeah.
JPC
If you have the answer, keep it to yourself.
Unnamed Guest
Don't give it those dogs little blue pills sticking in a piece of cheese.
JPC
I'm sure those sickos. Let them do it if they want it. Don't make them do it. Yeah.
Marci Jarrow
Come on, man.
JPC
They'll make more huskies when it's time for them to make more huskies. Not for your profit margins.
Marci Jarrow
Whoa. Yeah. Let them have it.
Unnamed Guest
Disgusting big dog breeder.
JPC
Boo.
Betsy Sedaro
Someone had to say it. Let's get into some more riddles here. These are going to be trios. So I'm going to give you three items, and you're going to have to tell me what they all have in common.
JPC
Oh, love it.
Betsy Sedaro
So, for example, I'll give you sort of an easy one and then a medium one. Raspberry red, lemony yellow, and orangey orange are all colors or flavors in Froot Loops.
Marci Jarrow
Okay.
Betsy Sedaro
Or slightly harder.
JPC
I think I would have gotten that one slightly harder.
Betsy Sedaro
Rubies, diamonds, and Bugs Bunny all have carrots.
Unnamed Guest
Oh, okay.
Marci Jarrow
Okay.
Betsy Sedaro
So the three items have. In the Venn diagram, they share one commonality, and that's what we have to figure out.
Unnamed Guest
I do not have high hopes for myself.
Marci Jarrow
Me neither, man.
Unnamed Guest
Good.
Aaron
Thank you for your honesty.
JPC
This kind of feels like the New York Times Connection Connections game.
Marci Jarrow
Yes. Which I feel a lot of times when I Play that. The answer will pop up. And I'm like, oh, okay. What? Like, so I get mad at that.
Unnamed Guest
One invented by a man named Jason.
Marci Jarrow
What? Come on.
Betsy Sedaro
I desperately want someone to, like, retroactively make that connection. Things invented by a man named Jason. Here's the first one. We have President John Adams.
Marci Jarrow
Uh, oh, okay. Already.
Betsy Sedaro
February.
Aaron
I also want a clip of Betsy saying, uh, oh, that I can hit. I want a whole soundboard that's in our place.
Unnamed Guest
This can happen very. You got it. Yeah.
Betsy Sedaro
The Sedaro soundboard.
JPC
Don't tell Erin that. She can do that. It would be too much power.
Betsy Sedaro
President John Adams, February. And the planet Venus. John Adams, February, Venus, all shorts.
Marci Jarrow
I know this.
Betsy Sedaro
Uh.
Marci Jarrow
Oh, they're the second.
Betsy Sedaro
Yes. They're all second. Second president, second month, second planet.
Aaron
I'd like to see a scene. Marcy, you are George Washington, and, Betsy, you are John Adams, and you, like, really look up to him, and you're really looking forward to being the second president after him.
Marci Jarrow
Oh, George. George, I'm so excited.
Unnamed Guest
Well, congratulations. Congratulations. You won. I forget how I was. Became president. I don't know.
Marci Jarrow
I think you kind of just was like, I'm gonna do it well, but.
Unnamed Guest
But not like a king, though. Not like a king. But anyway, you're gonna. You're gonna love it. You're gonna love America. Here's the thing about America. It will always remain perfect. Everything will be good, and the people will be happy. And so I. I trust that you will. That you will be a wonderful president for this country.
Marci Jarrow
Oh, thank you. Now, do I get to wear your wig?
Unnamed Guest
Oh, well, sure. Do you want to write right now?
Marci Jarrow
I mean, I am now the president, so.
Unnamed Guest
Okay, well, this is rather embarrassing.
Marci Jarrow
Give me your.
Unnamed Guest
Here you go.
Marci Jarrow
Oh, my God. Look at your head.
Unnamed Guest
I know, I know. It's bad, it's bad, it's bad, it's bad.
Marci Jarrow
If the Americans knew your head looked like that, you would have never taken. Ouch, ouch, ouch.
Unnamed Guest
Yes. I'm pinching you. I'm pinching you so hard. Don't you tell anyone about my head.
Marci Jarrow
I will not. I will not. But of course, I shall take your head with me to the grave.
Unnamed Guest
Well, look at you.
Marci Jarrow
Yes.
Unnamed Guest
Look. That looks wonderful on you.
Marci Jarrow
Do I look like the president now?
Unnamed Guest
Of course you do. I. You look very handsome. Are you. Are you.
Marci Jarrow
No Tearing.
Unnamed Guest
What?
Marci Jarrow
Are you tearing up? No.
Unnamed Guest
You're not a better president than me.
Marci Jarrow
Everyone.
Unnamed Guest
Not everyone's gonna forget about me, aren't they? They're gonna only remember you. You'll be the one that's very famous.
Marci Jarrow
Come here. Come here, baby. Join yg.
Unnamed Guest
Come here.
Marci Jarrow
Let it out. Let it out, baby. Let it out, baby. You were a good president. You were the first one.
Unnamed Guest
Uppie. Upy.
Marci Jarrow
Up.
JPC
Okay.
Marci Jarrow
Let me pick you up. Let me pick you up. Here, here, here. Let me. Yeah. Rest on my chest. Rest on my chest. Are you hungry?
Unnamed Guest
What do you mean? What do you mean?
Marci Jarrow
Seed.
Aaron
Adult. Give him 40 more minutes.
Unnamed Guest
Georgie wants ninny.
JPC
I also. I also just love. I love John Adams getting on Washington for what his hair looked like. Because every picture or portrait of John Adams, I've been like, damn, that guy really went for that haircut. It's like. It's like he's got, like, the. He's got like, the. The bald horseshoe, but just, like, long hair out of that. It looks insane.
Aaron
I feel like you could pull that off, by the way.
JPC
Yeah, I think that I could. I think that, like, if you see someone in, like, Modern Times with a haircut that looks like that, you're like, hell, yeah. You're really good. I was recently watching some James Bond movies, and there's, like, one James Bond movie, like, old. The 60s ones with Sean Connery. And there's one James Bond movie where he's meeting with some, like, dignitary. And the guy has. He's, like, obviously balding, but he's got hair on the sides. And he has three little, like, hair spikes that are, like, pushed back on his head. And I'm like, that's the look. That's a guy who's like, I've lost my hair. I have. Have Homer Simpson hair.
Marci Jarrow
Yeah.
JPC
And I'm. I'm owning it. Like, I'm just. I'm still in charge of England. It's still. I'm still the boss. Like, what do you want? I've had. People don't do that anymore nowadays. People are just like, yeah, get rid of it.
Marci Jarrow
Yeah, just go. Just shave it all off.
JPC
You gotta give props to John Adams for just, like, sticking with it.
Marci Jarrow
Yeah. I mean, no, I have hair. I'm telling you. Look at it.
Betsy Sedaro
I do want, like, a. Just like a ornate framed portrait of. What was it? John Adams breastfeeding George Washington.
Aaron
It's got this.
Unnamed Guest
It's actually beautiful.
Aaron
It's a really beautiful thing.
Betsy Sedaro
It's a beautiful thing.
Aaron
It's a natural part of life. Adol. It's not sunny. It's real beautiful.
JPC
And you point to and you're like. It's a metaphor. And people are like, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Marci Jarrow
Oh yes.
JPC
Oh, oh yeah, yeah. Oh, cause oh, yeah.
Betsy Sedaro
The teat is economy. Suckle from the teat of economy.
JPC
Wild swing on. The teat is economy.
Marci Jarrow
The teat is economy.
Aaron
There is a 20 year old guy in an English college class right now saying that with full confidence.
Betsy Sedaro
If I ever sort of tune out for a little bit during a conversation, usually my way to sort of find my way back in is to say the teat of economy. Here's another one. Here's three items. Tell me what they have in common. Nestle Quick. Nestle Quick. Trix cereal and Energizer batteries.
Unnamed Guest
Rabbits.
Marci Jarrow
Rabbits, dude. Yes.
Betsy Sedaro
Their mascots are all rabbits. Or bunnies.
JPC
I was gonna say they all change your tongue into a different color.
Aaron
I'd like to see a scene. Jpc, Marcie and Betsy, you are those three rabbits. You can pick which one you are. And you are all in the same family. And you're back for Thanksgiving.
Marci Jarrow
Great.
Unnamed Guest
Hey, where are all the kids? Where are the kids at?
JPC
Yeah, I mean, what the hell? I came all the way here from. Well, I mean, I kind of just go everywhere. I kind of don't stop going. I'm like, I'm non stop, but I came a long way. Where are the kids?
Marci Jarrow
I think. I think they got mad at me.
Unnamed Guest
What'd you do?
Marci Jarrow
I told.
JPC
What did you do?
Marci Jarrow
I told them the truth about Santa.
JPC
Which truth? I want to make sure. Are we talking about the truth of like the obvious truth or like the deeper, like, more fucked up truth that we don't talk about?
Marci Jarrow
The more fucked up truth that we don't talk about. I thought they needed to know. I thought they needed to know. No, I gave him some chocolate milk and I was like, okay, we're getting real. Kids. Sit down. Let me tell you the truth about Santa.
JPC
The real truth. You told him that chocolate bunnies, which for some reason. Hold on. I could get there. Santa's domain. Because Santa's a Christian God.
Unnamed Guest
I'm gonna take issue with that.
JPC
Yeah. Yeah. Okay. What would you call him? He's obviously in the Christian pantheon.
Marci Jarrow
St Nicholas.
Unnamed Guest
He's a saint. Here's a hint. His name is St. Nicholas.
JPC
That's right. He's a saint. Which means he has something to do with the Catholic Church, which means he has domain over Easter as well. And you told the kids that he dips actual bunnies, young bunnies. In chocolate to give them out on Easter?
Marci Jarrow
Yes, hot chocolate. That he dips them in hot chocolate, killing them in order to have chocolate rabbits for Easter? I told them the truth. And I said that. I was like, in the eggs. Those chocolate eggs, real eggs, got dipped into chocolate, killing them. And every chocolate thing you're eating.
JPC
Nestle, we don't know that it kills them. We can't know. It's kind of like. Yeah, it's. Are they actually dead? Look, we can't know unless we break up with the chocolate.
Unnamed Guest
It doesn't matter. You know what matters? You're a narcissist, Nestle. You ruin every holiday. You make every holiday about you and making everyone else upset. You're not happy unless everyone else is crying.
Marci Jarrow
Don't you dare say that, Trix. Don't you dare say that.
Unnamed Guest
Oh, I see it every week in therapy.
Marci Jarrow
This is for kids. This is for kids.
JPC
Hold on.
Marci Jarrow
What about adults?
JPC
Hold on.
Marci Jarrow
What about adults?
JPC
I know what Trix is trying to do.
Marci Jarrow
Weird screaming about kids all the time.
JPC
Trix, you're trying to start shit so that you could sneak in the kitchen and get some of that goddamn cereal. It's not gonna happen. It's not for you. Yeah, spit it out. Spit it out.
Marci Jarrow
Spit it out.
Betsy Sedaro
I'm gonna.
JPC
I'm gonna put a battery in your mouth and then you're gonna spit it out.
Marci Jarrow
Yeah, you gotta spit it out if a battery's there.
JPC
I'm gonna go get my hammer.
Unnamed Guest
Why can't I have it? It's named after me.
JPC
Why can't I use a Duracell? We just fucking can't.
Unnamed Guest
Wow. We have a very messed up family unit.
Betsy Sedaro
See? Oh, shit. They just released the Epstein list.
Aaron
Oh, no. All three of those bunnies are on it. Don't tell me all the bunnies are on it.
Unnamed Guest
Edit this out. Edit this out.
JPC
Yeah.
Marci Jarrow
Edit this out.
JPC
Yeah.
Marci Jarrow
Edit it out.
JPC
It looks like the Nesquik bunny was on the plane with Clinton and Kevin Spacey.
Aaron
I'm not surprised.
Betsy Sedaro
I love the idea of, like, a single parent being like, if I just hard boil an egg, steep it in hot chocolate, that's a Cadbury egg. Like, I will give my child Easter a proper Easter egg.
Marci Jarrow
There you go.
JPC
I will give my child Easter egg.
Unnamed Guest
My child will have it Easter.
JPC
Don't tell them that. It's way more expensive to do it the way they're doing it.
Betsy Sedaro
This might be my favorite of these trios. And this is a little tricky, but I think this is fun. Mark Twain, Papermate and Sharpie. Mark Twain, Paper Mate and Sharpie Paper Mate.
Unnamed Guest
I don't think this is ripe, but it's writers or Penmans or.
Betsy Sedaro
You are very hot, Very Hot pen names.
JPC
Pen names. Names of pens. These are all.
Unnamed Guest
Shoot, I said penman. Penman. I'm so stupid. Penmans.
Marci Jarrow
Marcy, it's this. You pretty much got it, dude.
Aaron
You got it.
Marci Jarrow
I don't deserve to live.
Aaron
I wouldn't have gotten it without you saying that.
Unnamed Guest
You know what? As soon as you said Mark Twain, I wanted to say Sagittarius, because we are.
Aaron
Is he a Sagittarius?
Unnamed Guest
We have the same birthday.
Aaron
Are you a Sagittarius? Yeah.
Unnamed Guest
Me and Winston Churchill and Mark Twain.
Marci Jarrow
Whoa.
Aaron
That's my favorite star sign.
JPC
Are you a November Sagittarius or December Sagittarius?
Unnamed Guest
Ugh. November. Come on.
JPC
Okay, it's split. In my household, we have some Decembers and some Novembers.
Unnamed Guest
There's a difference.
Aaron
Whoa.
JPC
There's a difference. I will say the Decembers are more classic Sagittarius. It's kind of what people think of when they think of the horse with his big bow.
Unnamed Guest
Is that a Sagittarius? Is that a centaur? Yes. Yes. It's an Archer. Yes.
JPC
Yeah.
Betsy Sedaro
There's the dog with the big bow.
Marci Jarrow
Nurse. Serious.
JPC
Well, Santa torture.
Unnamed Guest
Yeah, we always. Betsy. Classic Gemini.
Marci Jarrow
Classic Gemini watcher.
Betsy Sedaro
Gemini over here.
Marci Jarrow
Yeah, gemini.
Betsy Sedaro
I'm a June 1st baby.
Marci Jarrow
June 10th.
Betsy Sedaro
Okay, now, June 1st is, I believe, the day Helen Keller was born and the day she died, June 1st. Also Alanis Morissette, a few others. What's June 10th? Any Biggins?
Marci Jarrow
I can't remember. My friend Jay Hooker. He's a great writer. I don't know. I don't know. I haven't.
Aaron
Do you guys know your Rising and Moon? Of course. Hit me with it.
Unnamed Guest
I'm a Sagittarius rising as well. And a Gemini moon.
Aaron
Oh, like your friend Betsy.
JPC
Hey.
Aaron
Okay. That's why we get along.
Unnamed Guest
We're sister signs.
Marci Jarrow
Sister signs. I don't know what I am. Do you know, Marcy?
Unnamed Guest
I don't know your birth chart off the top of my head.
JPC
Marcy's, like, pulling up your coaster and being like, actually, I might know it.
Marci Jarrow
Help me, Marcy. What are your signs, Aaron?
Aaron
I'm a Scorpio, and then I'm a Libra rising.
Unnamed Guest
I was gonna guess. I was gonna guess that you're a Libra rising.
Aaron
Oh, my gosh. Get out of town.
Betsy Sedaro
We have to pick at this. Marcie, what about Aaron made you think that?
Unnamed Guest
Well, Scorpio. Well, okay, I have a lot of Scorpios in my life. Love them all. But you have something about you outward facing, which is rising. Right. Is A little. You seem like a diplomatic people pleaser. A bit. Not in a bad way. I have a lot of Libras in my life that I love.
Aaron
Nailed it.
Unnamed Guest
Yeah, absolutely nailed it. And secretly she's holding grudges, guys. Holding hard grudges.
Aaron
I wonder if I'm holding grudges like nothing else.
Betsy Sedaro
Aaron. Ow, ow, ow.
Aaron
Give it to me.
JPC
Marcy, did you know that you share a birthday with previous guests of this show? Chrissy Teigen.
Unnamed Guest
Oh, no, I thought you were gonna say Chrissy Teigen.
Aaron
Okay, yeah, Chrissy Teigen is a regular NA rental.
JPC
They were actually booked on the same day we were supposed to have Chrissy and Colin on because they, like work so well together.
Unnamed Guest
Wait, do you know what actually is kind of funny? I have like one of those birthday books. I did know about Colin because our like in the birthday book, our life meditation is learn to improvise. Isn't that weird?
Marci Jarrow
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Aaron
Spooky, spooky, spooky, spooky.
Unnamed Guest
Yeah. And our like, our strengths are like thorough, funny, dynamic. And our weaknesses are thin skinned and reactive.
Aaron
Classic improviser stuff.
Unnamed Guest
Winston Churchill. Ever heard of him?
Betsy Sedaro
And the symbol for that is. It's like Ryan Styles with his hands.
Unnamed Guest
Behind his back and Wayne Brady with.
Betsy Sedaro
His arms through baking a cake. Marcy, to backtrack slightly, about two minutes ago, you just made me realize something, which is the way you said diplomatic to Aaron. You took a pause and I was like, wait a minute, is Diplo the famous dj? I don't know what he is.
Aaron
Producer.
Betsy Sedaro
Is that short for diplomat or diplomatic?
Marci Jarrow
Oh, I don't know.
Unnamed Guest
Well, I'm glad you asked. Diplo's biggest fan.
Betsy Sedaro
Cause you're like, you're diplomatic. And I was like, oh, Diplo, I never.
Unnamed Guest
I don't know, I wonder. Look it up. Who's looking it up?
Marci Jarrow
Who's looking it all up?
Aaron
We're actually not allowed to Google this year. I'm not even kidding. We put ourselves in Google jail.
Betsy Sedaro
Aaron, shut up. And that's. That's that Aaron will never. Aaron will never be mad at me for that.
Unnamed Guest
What did we say about a Sagittarius?
JPC
Or Diplo is also a Sagittarius.
Marci Jarrow
Wow, this is too weird.
Betsy Sedaro
When's his birthday?
JPC
November 10th. So he's not a Sagittarius, but that's what I'm saying. I can't remember what the one that comes before it is.
Unnamed Guest
Why must you declare it? You declared it.
Aaron
Yes, I'm a. November 10th.
JPC
You push it together.
Unnamed Guest
Wait, I think my friend Jana's November 10th as well.
Aaron
Okay. Incredible. And JPC for that mistake. I will hold that grudge until I die.
JPC
Aaron, do you think that you're older or younger than diploma?
Aaron
Oh, God, I think I'm. I think I'm younger than Diplo by six years at least.
Betsy Sedaro
This is a fun game.
JPC
Diplo, 46. And Aaron just turned 40.
Unnamed Guest
You're so correct. No, six years.
Betsy Sedaro
Okay, Aaron, let it go. It's done.
JPC
It's done. Erin.
Aaron
Grudge I will hold as a 33 year old woman. Thank you.
Unnamed Guest
Oh.
JPC
Oh, feel 40 was over.
Unnamed Guest
Oh, feel 40.
JPC
Look, 80 on the praises, right? You actually get rewarded for being over. But I'm being punished.
Unnamed Guest
No, you don't.
Marci Jarrow
You don't. I don't watch the show.
JPC
I'm being punished for not watching TV during the day.
Unnamed Guest
Are you constantly making very confident declarations that you're fully wrong about? Is that, like, a thing?
Aaron
Marcy, thank you so much for coming in and diagnosing exactly what's been happening the last eight years of my life.
Unnamed Guest
What is your sign? I must know.
JPC
I'm a Sagittarius.
Unnamed Guest
Oh, December Sagittarius, though.
JPC
I'm a real one.
Unnamed Guest
Yeah, see, we're not. The November ones aren't wrong.
Whoa.
JPC
There's a war. There's a war that people don't talk about between the November Sagittarius and the December Sagittarius.
Unnamed Guest
It's like the. I mean, it's all the months, like October Scorpio. Very, very different than a November Scorpio.
Aaron
November is fun and witchy. Scorpios and October Scorpios are scary. Sorry, I don't make the rules. I don't make the rules.
Betsy Sedaro
Yeah, and Marcia, you just made me realize is SAG short for Sagittarius.
Unnamed Guest
Absolutely it is Sagittarius. It's all about the archers and nothing about screens, actors, or guilds.
Aaron
Jpc, do you know you're rising in your moon?
JPC
I don't, but I could ask my wife to open up the costar app because she has all of this information about me and hers.
Aaron
Ask her. And then Adel, do you know?
Betsy Sedaro
I don't. I don't know what those mean.
Aaron
Okay, so Marcy and I are the only ones who did their homework. Okay, good to know.
JPC
Someone at some point did tell me that the Rising. I almost said the rising and the falling, but it's the rising and the moon. Moon are more important than what your, like, regular sign is.
Betsy Sedaro
Whoa.
Aaron
I don't know. I think they're Maybe they're all of equal importance.
Unnamed Guest
I think. Yeah, there's the big three.
JPC
Yeah, but people often only know the one, right? Like people know the one that has to do with birthday. They don't know those other ones because.
Unnamed Guest
The other ones take math to figure out.
JPC
Gotcha.
Betsy Sedaro
And what does that mean when, like, Mercury's in Gatorade?
Unnamed Guest
It means check your emails. You send a dick pic.
Marci Jarrow
Looking for my books.
JPC
Oh, man. I got my Mercury in my Gatorade. Adol. Do we want to do one more?
Betsy Sedaro
We're gonna do one more.
Marci Jarrow
Oh, my God.
JPC
Oh, my God.
Unnamed Guest
Oh, my God.
Betsy Sedaro
This is an iceberg, a tongue and a waitress tip things. They all have tip. Wow.
Aaron
You came in here thinking you were dumb and stinky, and those proved not true.
Unnamed Guest
I'm only stinky.
Marci Jarrow
Only stink.
Unnamed Guest
Only stink. It's my new platform.
Marci Jarrow
I'll send you my stink.
JPC
The one thing you can't prove is not true about you on a podcast. You can prove the smart thing pretty, pretty definitively, but.
Unnamed Guest
Oh, I guess some people sound stinky.
JPC
I guess that's right. I guess some people do sound stinky.
Marci Jarrow
They sound some people that stinky.
Betsy Sedaro
I do want to see one final. Just a quick scene based off iceberg, tongue and waitress all having tips. Let's say, Marcy, you're going to be a waiter, and jpc, you're going to be an iceberg who sits down to order.
JPC
Okay.
Unnamed Guest
What can I get you, sweetheart?
I'm seeing a lot of hot food on the menu. Do you have cold. Do you have cold food?
I can get something cold for you. I can make the chef put it out on the counter until it gets room temp. Or do you want it colder?
Yeah, I would really want cold.
Okay, well, there's jello. We got milk. We can put the milk with the jello. Kind of like a creamy jello.
I don't want to be this kind of guy, but do you have anything that's cold and hard?
Oh, baby. Let's see. We.
And it doesn't have to be wet, but if it's wet, it's better if it's cold and hard and wet.
Betsy Sedaro
Okay.
Unnamed Guest
Cold, hard, wet. Let me think, let me think, let me think.
And I do this fun thing where I put. Put your full tip on the table and then I, like, remove dollars from the tip as we go. Like if I.
Hey, there's nothing I like more than psychological warfare while I'm just trying to feed my family. So.
So you get it?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I could put a. A Cold spoon in the gazpacho. Would that be okay? Work with me, honey. What do you want?
Adding a couple single spoons to the pile. I'm actually liking this a lot. Cold spoon and gazpacho.
Defrost the steak just a little bit so it's just wet, but still frozen. Okay, okay, okay.
So it's cold and wet and frozen.
Okay, a couple more dollars to the pile.
Aaron
Iceberg.
Unnamed Guest
And I'm sorry, my date hasn't ordered.
Aaron
Oh, you son of a bitch. How could you? You said if you just put the tip in, I wouldn't get pregnant. And look where we're at.
Marci Jarrow
Wah.
Aaron
Okay, I brought my friend Jill, and she's also really upset.
Marci Jarrow
You made my friend pregnant.
Betsy Sedaro
We cut to two weeks later, and in the case of who the father is. Iceberg, you are the father.
Aaron
I knew it.
Unnamed Guest
I knew it.
Wait, how. How can we tell this after two weeks, huh? I feel like I may be being railroaded here.
Aaron
DNA testing. That's it. Seed.
Betsy Sedaro
We also found alien species.
JPC
I mean, I don't know specifically that I have DNA. I'll go with it, but here's how I do child support. You're gonna love it.
Unnamed Guest
Seed.
Aaron
Seed, seed, seed, seed, seed, seed, seed.
Betsy Sedaro
Seed, seed, seed, seed.
Unnamed Guest
Trust me. Icebergs have DNA inside. They also have viruses that are constantly being released into the AT atmosphere, and something new to worry about every day.
Aaron
So what's the bad news then, Marcy?
JPC
Yeah, can we get some bad news about it?
Unnamed Guest
The bad news is sometimes a killer whale will knock a seal off and eat them.
Aaron
Oh, that's horrible.
Unnamed Guest
That's the bad news?
Marci Jarrow
That's the bad news.
Aaron
Well, on that note, Betsy and Marcy, do you have anything to plug, anything you want our listeners to check out?
Marci Jarrow
I mean, check out. Our podcast has a funny feeling.
Unnamed Guest
Yeah. And if you have a ghost story, it doesn't have to be ghosts. Any sort of paranormal story, you can send it to us, submit it to Funny feelingpod gmail dot com. We'll read it on the podcast, and.
Marci Jarrow
Then we'll be like, we don't believe you.
Unnamed Guest
We don't believe you. You're crazy, and we're calling a doctor. You're getting 5150. Yeah.
JPC
Or we.
Unnamed Guest
We do voice notes. Notes, too. So, yeah, it's there. Like we said, we're not running out. Weirdly.
Marci Jarrow
Ghosts and paranormal stuff will always be happening.
Aaron
Must be next.
Betsy Sedaro
Taxes and ghosts, Taxes and ghosts.
Unnamed Guest
Don't pay your taxes, but do pay your ghosts.
JPC
Tip your ghosts and do it the right way. Leaving a pile of money on the table and then slowly removing a pile of money.
Betsy Sedaro
And don't forget to spay or neuter your icebergs. Aaron, do you have anything to plug or promote?
Aaron
I host a show called Quality Time in Los Angeles at the Lyric Theater. You can follow that on Instagram. It's once a month and each month is a different theme and I think it's worth checking out. Adel Anything to play.
JPC
Oh, Aaron, Aaron, someone asked this. Is it always a different day when it's once a month or is it okay?
Aaron
It's always a different day.
JPC
So if you're the guy that asks me, it's always a different day. Good luck.
Aaron
Adol. Anything to plug?
Betsy Sedaro
Yes, you can check out in our 10th anniversary. Hello from the Magic Tavern, wherever you get your podcast and also a patreon as well. Patreon.com magic magictavern I believe JBC. Anything to plug or promote or review to read.
JPC
No, I don't got anything. You can go see improv shows if you like seeing improv shows. Go to a theater and ask them if they do those at the theater that you live near. And hopefully they do.
Betsy Sedaro
And Aaron, close your eyes. The wind from the ocean, the salty air hits your face. And as the warmth on your skin slowly starts to cool, you see in your mind's eye a husky with the most beautiful succulent boner.
Aaron
Please have a boner.
Betsy Sedaro
And you see around his neck there's a collar with a little medallion. And etched into the medallion is a name. What is that name, Aaron?
Aaron
Jupiter. Yeah, I wish I was there right now. Wish I was there right now.
Betsy Sedaro
Jupiter, the dog with a raging donor.
Unnamed Guest
Our new mascot named Jupiter because he ate his son.
Aaron
Yes.
JPC
Created by Emily Cardamus and Emily Nick. Did the dog Betsy have a collar? Do you remember if the dog had a collar?
Marci Jarrow
I can't remember. I feel like no. Like there are a bunch of dogs just wandering.
Aaron
Oh, that dog was free. That was a free dog.
Marci Jarrow
Probably eating like the best food in the world. Just the happiest dog.
Unnamed Guest
Free, free dog. And that's heaven.
JPC
Hey there, websites and dot coms. If you like that, you are gonna love this week's Patreon. Aaron falls into the Internet. You can listen to that. Plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com heyriddlevriddle by joining the clue crew for $5 a month or start your 7 day free trial or the review crew for $8 a month plus you get those ad free episodes. See you there.
Betsy Sedaro
That was a Headgum podcast.
Hey Riddle Riddle Episode #347: "Greetings From Santorini!" Featuring Betsy Sodaro & Marcy Jarreau
Release Date: March 12, 2025
In this engaging episode of Hey Riddle Riddle, hosts Adal Rifai, Erin Keif, and John Patrick Coan welcome special guests Betsy Sodaro and Marcy Jarreau from the sister podcast A Funny Feeling. The episode seamlessly blends riddles, improvisational humor, and intriguing discussions about paranormal experiences, all set against the vibrant backdrop of Santorini. Below is a detailed summary capturing the key points, notable quotes, and thematic sections of the episode.
The episode kicks off with a lighthearted segment where Adal reveals a new tattoo he’s given to John Patrick Coan (JPC). The tattoo features a whimsical design of a possum driving a red convertible with a speech bubble. The trio humorously debates the placement and meaning of the tattoo, leading to Betsy's creative interpretation.
Notable Quotes:
Adal introduces Betsy and Marcy, highlighting their roles in A Funny Feeling. The guests express their enthusiasm for being part of the Hey Riddle Riddle podcast, sharing playful banter about tattoos and their shared improvisational backgrounds.
Notable Quotes:
The conversation shifts to the role of riddles and puzzles in their respective podcasts. Betsy and Marcy humorously downplay their proficiency with riddles, while expressing their enjoyment of engaging mental challenges like escape rooms and Sudoku.
Notable Quotes:
Given that Betsy and Marcy are from A Funny Feeling, an episode focused on paranormal tales, the discussion naturally transitions to ghosts and haunted experiences. They explore common ghost sightings, cultural variations in ghost lore, and personal anecdotes related to the supernatural.
Notable Quotes:
The hosts introduce a segment of Hink Pinks, a playful riddle format where clues lead to rhyming two-word answers. Betsy leads the challenge with examples and engages the guests and hosts in solving various riddles.
Notable Quotes:
Example Riddles:
Building on the Hink Pinks segment, the participants create improvised scenes inspired by the riddle answers. For instance, transforming "Wise spies" into a playful audition scenario for a new type of Spice Girl, complete with humorous character interactions and exaggerated scenarios.
Notable Scenes:
Notable Quotes:
The conversation veers into astrology, with the hosts and guests discussing their zodiac signs, rising signs, and moon signs. This segment is filled with playful teasing and humorous misinterpretations of astrological concepts.
Notable Quotes:
In the concluding segment, the team tackles more trio-based riddles, such as identifying commonalities between Mark Twain, Papermate, and Sharpie (answer: "pen names"). These riddles inspire further improvisational sketches, blending humor with quick-witted exchanges.
Notable Quotes:
Improvised Scene Example:
As the episode winds down, Betsy and Marcy promote their podcast A Funny Feeling, encouraging listeners to submit their own ghost stories and paranormal experiences. Adal also plugs his show Quality Time, highlighting upcoming themed events. The hosts conclude with lighthearted banter about the day’s activities and a final nod to the episode’s Santorini theme.
Notable Quotes:
Episode #347 of Hey Riddle Riddle masterfully intertwines riddles, improvisational comedy, and paranormal discussions, all while featuring the dynamic chemistry between the hosts and their special guests, Betsy Sodaro and Marcy Jarreau. From creative tattoo designs to spirited riddle-solving and humorous improvisations, the episode offers a rich and entertaining experience for both regular listeners and newcomers alike.
Key Takeaways:
Whether you're a fan of riddles, improvisational comedy, or ghostly tales, this episode promises an enjoyable and thought-provoking listen.