#351: No Dar

Summary

Summary of "Hey Riddle Riddle" Episode #351: No Dar

Release Date: April 9, 2025

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Overview

In episode #351 titled "No Dar" of the Headgum podcast "Hey Riddle Riddle," hosts Adal Rifai, Erin Keif, and John Patrick Coan embark on their trademark journey of solving riddles intertwined with improvisational comedy. This episode seamlessly blends intellectual challenges with humorous interactions, showcasing the trio's improvisational prowess and comedic chemistry.

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Riddle Challenge and Solutions

The core of this episode revolves around deciphering complex riddles, encouraging both hosts and listeners to engage deeply with each puzzle.

• Riddle Presented at [55:31]:

  "When I'm an adjective, I say how you move. When I'm a verb, I say that you starve."

  • Solution: Fast

  Erin deftly solves this riddle, emphasizing the dual meaning of the word "fast" as both an adjective describing speed and a verb meaning to abstain from food.

• Riddle Presented at [46:20]:

  "I am the high sky rider. I am the space skimmer. I am the cloud borer. I am the earth scanner. My long looker. Monarch of the unseen winds. My song is a scream. Silence is my shadow and feared. I fall like a bomb with blood in my breath. Where I land, there is death."

  • Initial Interpretation: The hosts ponder various possibilities, ranging from mythical creatures to natural phenomena.

  • Humorous Twist: Ultimately, the riddle humorously resolves as "a hot dog," showcasing the show's penchant for playful misdirection.

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Improvisational Skits and Character Roles

Beyond riddles, the episode is enriched with character-driven improvisations that add layers of humor and creativity.

• Pirate-Themed Skit at [15:07]:

  Adal transforms into Captain Worm, leading a crew in a whimsical pirate scenario. The skit involves negotiating with Salsa Man and Quesadilla Man, characters that personify food items, adding a quirky twist to the narrative.

• Teacher-Student Scene at [56:46]:

  The hosts engage in a parody of a classroom protest against excessive homework. Erin and Adal play rebellious students, while John Patrick assumes the role of a strict teacher, Mr. Peterson. This skit humorously highlights the universal student-teacher dynamics and the perennial debate over homework loads.

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Notable Quotes and Highlights

Throughout the episode, the hosts deliver memorable lines that underscore both their intelligence and comedic timing.

• Adal Rifai at [03:03]:

  "You know what? Just pay." — Demonstrating a blend of seriousness and humor during the pirate skit.

• Erin Keif at [06:32]:

  "Why can't those big eagles fly us there, sir?" — Reflecting on the "Lord of the Rings" adaptations, showcasing the show's ability to intertwine pop culture references seamlessly.

• John Patrick Coan at [23:54]:

  "But I do think that there are some crimes that I've been meaning to get to." — Adding depth and unexpected twists to the ongoing pirate narrative.

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Audience Interaction and Engagement

The episode fosters a sense of community by involving listeners through interactive segments.

• Listener Voicemails:

  At [63:17], a listener named Jesse submits a voicemail praising the podcast, which Adal reads aloud. This inclusion not only acknowledges the audience but also adds a personal touch to the episode.

• Interactive Riddle Solving:

  Throughout the episode, the hosts encourage listeners to ponder the riddles alongside them, creating an inclusive and engaging listening experience.

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Humorous Banter and Comedic Timing

A significant portion of the episode thrives on the hosts' witty exchanges and improvisational humor.

• Hot Dog Riddle Debate at [50:47]:

  The hosts engage in a playful debate over the components of a hot dog, blending literal interpretation with exaggerated humor.

• "Never Never Land" Misinterpretation at [26:08]:

  A humorous misadventure into clarifying the concept of "Never Never Land" highlights the show's ability to turn confusion into comedy.

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Conclusion

Episode #351: "No Dar" of "Hey Riddle Riddle" masterfully combines challenging riddles with vibrant improvisational sketches and sharp comedic exchanges. Adal Rifai, Erin Keif, and John Patrick Coan demonstrate their exceptional ability to entertain while intellectually stimulating their audience. Memorable moments, such as the pirate skit and the imaginative riddle solutions, reinforce the show's unique appeal, making it a standout episode that both longtime fans and newcomers can thoroughly enjoy.

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Notable Quotes:

• Adal Rifai [03:03]: “You know what? Just pay.”
• Erin Keif [06:32]: “Why can't those big eagles fly us there, sir?”
• John Patrick Coan [23:54]: “But I do think that there are some crimes that I've been meaning to get to.”
• Adal Rifai [46:41]: “It’s a hot dog.”

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This comprehensive summary captures the essence of episode #351, highlighting key discussions, improvisational segments, and the hosts' dynamic interactions, all while excluding advertisements and non-content sections to focus solely on the engaging material presented.

Transcript

[Aaron Keenan]

This is a Headgun podcast.

[Adol Refai]

Craving your next action packed adventure, Audible delivers thrills of every kind on your command. Like Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir, where a lone astronaut must save humanity from extinction. Narrated with stunning intensity by Ray Porter. From electrifying suspense and daring quests to spine tingling horror and romance in far off realms, unleash your adventure aside with gripping titles that'll keep you guessing. Exclusive Audible originals, hotly anticipated new releases and must listen bestsellers that hook you from the first minute. Because Audible knows there's no greater thrill than the one that speaks to you. Discover what lies beyond the edge of your seat. Start your free 30 day trial at audible.com wonderyus that's audible.com wonderyus the Doctor was the mother.

[JPC]

He stood on a block of ice. Both of them were goldfish. It was the pattern of an airplane.

[Aaron Keenan]

Okay, Say ah. Yeah, it's what I thought. You have a case. Salsa.

[JPC]

Oh, thank God.

[Aaron Keenan]

What did you say?

[JPC]

I said salsa.

[Aaron Keenan]

What is that?

[Casey Toney]

Did somebody say salsa?

[Aaron Keenan]

Sir, sir, Sir, I'm trying to do an exam on this patient.

[Casey Toney]

Opens briefcase. Mild or hot?

[JPC]

I could go for some salsa right now if it's not too much of an impression. Position, Doctor.

[Casey Toney]

Mild or hot? I'm not gonna say it again.

[Aaron Keenan]

How are you the person of authority in this room right now?

[JPC]

Hot.

[Aaron Keenan]

I'm trying to tell you, you have the case of the riddles and it is.

[JPC]

Oh, a quesadilla. Yeah, I guess that could go well with salsa.

[Aaron Keenan]

Sir, sir, you're very, very sick and there is no chance.

[JPC]

Did somebody say quesadilla?

[Casey Toney]

Opens briefcase oh, it's my enemy. Quesadilla man.

[JPC]

Why can't we be fridge Dan?

[Casey Toney]

Well, we were once brothers. I salsa man and him, quesadilla man. But then our parents fought and killed each other.

[Aaron Keenan]

I don't need a backstory for these two guys.

[JPC]

But that's our parents. Am I wrong? That's our parents. Like, why would that have anything to do any bearing on our relationship?

[Aaron Keenan]

Dan? Claire at the front desk. Similar asleep right now. Is that why you two were able to get in here?

[JPC]

She is asleep. She is full of salsas and quesadillas. And that put her right to sleep.

[Aaron Keenan]

Yep. Okay, I'm trying to focus on my patient. JPC here. He is really sick. Gpc.

[JPC]

Yes.

[Casey Toney]

Whoa.

[Aaron Keenan]

It's gonna make it so much worse.

[JPC]

Present.

[Aaron Keenan]

No, I'm not.

[JPC]

Give me a present.

[Aaron Keenan]

You know what? Just pay.

[Casey Toney]

Oh, did someone say they want a present? It's me, Salsa Santa.

[Aaron Keenan]

Okay, I think I quit Being a doctor. Just pay on your way out. And good luck. Good luck living with riddles.

[JPC]

Pay who? If your waiter quits in the middle of dinner, you don't pay.

[Casey Toney]

Wait, do I have riddles?

[Aaron Keenan]

Well, you will if you hang out with this guy.

[Casey Toney]

Which guy? Quesadilla Man.

[Aaron Keenan]

No, jpc.

[JPC]

No, I don't have riddles. This guy. Who?

[Casey Toney]

Salsa man?

[JPC]

No, not my brother. Salsa Man. This guy. Stop looking at me.

[Aaron Keenan]

While I was setting little fires in every corner of this room to kill.

[Casey Toney]

Oh, have you read Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Nk? Unbelievable. Oh. Oh. Okay, everyone get on my back. Santa's gonna get us out of this mess. It's all on fire. It's all on. Wait, who is the woman at the front desk asleep?

[Aaron Keenan]

And Clint.

[Casey Toney]

Someone grab her.

[Aaron Keenan]

Okay, so, guys, that is an opening that we could do, but we shouldn't, right?

[Casey Toney]

What happened to the woman asleep at the desk?

[Aaron Keenan]

Actually, Adol. It doesn't get any better after that, if you can believe it.

[JPC]

Maybe it's best we put that opening back in the vault and we check in on it again in a year and see if we want to use it for an episode.

[Aaron Keenan]

Yeah, but the Disney Vault is a really scary place. I mean, we are recording this episode or this opening in November of 2023. So do you feel like in a couple years, if we run out of openings, maybe we pull it out of the vault?

[JPC]

Speaking of the Disney Vault, when are we going to crack that bad boy open and get the Disney twins back on the podcast? Adam?

[Casey Toney]

Oh, yeah, pretty soon. I mean, actually, those little guys I'm looking over here in the Disney Vault is actually open. Let me. Oh, God, Bambi. But Thumper killed the mom. There's some really effed up stuff in here.

[Aaron Keenan]

Okay, let's just lock up this vault. I think Disney Twins ran its course in a way that it's maybe. I don't know, maybe we can go back to it. Let us know in the comments.

[Casey Toney]

That didn't go where I thought it was going to go, Aaron.

[JPC]

Not at all. Aaron. I thought you were going the other direct. That's like a David Blaine esque level of misdirection.

[Casey Toney]

Disney Twins has run its course, so I dare say we should definitely see them again.

[JPC]

I guess that that makes sense, though. They've read their course, they've taken their break. They've, you know, probably carbo loaded, you know, got some. The. The water with the little salt packets in it, the electrolytes. Yeah, they're ready to come back. Okay.

[Aaron Keenan]

Hey, I'm Trying to see if, like, the Disney twin is still sort of in my body. If I could access her.

[JPC]

I'll tell you what. It's not going to be this month. This month is all penguin baseball. We all know this. We all know it's all penguin baseball.

[Aaron Keenan]

But, you know, the egg is the ball.

[JPC]

The egg is the ball. Something to keep under consideration. Maybe that's okay.

[Casey Toney]

I'll do it. Disney twins. July. A July Choco Block full.

[Aaron Keenan]

Absolutely not.

[JPC]

Disney twins. All July. Aaron, is that not long enough? Do you want to do all summer?

[Aaron Keenan]

Should we do all summer?

[JPC]

Half of August?

[Aaron Keenan]

Adol. Can you do Disney twins? Go to the Lord of the Rings universe?

[Casey Toney]

Yes.

[Aaron Keenan]

Okay. Thank you.

[JPC]

We can do anything.

[Casey Toney]

Okay. Saruman would be like, don't burn it. Sorry your mom.

[Aaron Keenan]

A wizard arrives. Precisely what he means to sir.

[JPC]

Guys, guys, guys, guys. That's the paid content. We make people pay for that stuff. The good stuff.

[Casey Toney]

And I. And I say, you can't keep kissing everyone.

[JPC]

No. Adult. Come. Come on. We're going to do all this stuff again.

[Aaron Keenan]

I feel like it's already out of my system.

[JPC]

Yeah, well, what are we going to do, huh? It's already gone. We already.

[Aaron Keenan]

Riddles.

[JPC]

I guess if. Yeah, I guess if. If we're. If we're kind of just going to jump right into that. We could just do riddles instead. What do you guys think of that?

[Aaron Keenan]

Amen, sister. Let's go.

[JPC]

Amen, sister.

[Casey Toney]

Go for it, CIS men. Amer. Oops, I botched that sentence.

[Aaron Keenan]

You got job dyslexic.

[JPC]

And that's allowed?

[Casey Toney]

CIS men. Amen.

[JPC]

It's actually encouraged.

[Casey Toney]

Amen.

[JPC]

It's actually fine. No emails about that. It's fine. All right, here we go. You ready for your first riddle?

[Aaron Keenan]

Sure.

[JPC]

Oh, this is a hate roll. Roll. This podcast. This JBC is Aaron's adult. It's a podcast. We do riddles and improvising based on riddle. Favorite riddle podcast. Okay.

[Aaron Keenan]

Have we never given JPC that much redway to talk? It seems like you kind of choked and got nervous.

[Casey Toney]

I think he needs an oil change.

[JPC]

Yeah. I feel like no one gives me the redway to talk away from home. I feel weird. Like I'm useless, untethered. The fuck?

[Casey Toney]

What is this? That's Samwise gmg, Aaron. Back to the Lord of the Rings Disney tours.

[Aaron Keenan]

Yes.

[Casey Toney]

So here's what we do.

[Aaron Keenan]

The ring hurts to carry, sir.

[JPC]

The ring hurts to carry. Ow. Babies. It's giving me, like, a little ouchies all over my head when I carry the ring of power to Mordor.

[Aaron Keenan]

Why can't those big eagles fly us there, sir?

[JPC]

That's the fucking thing about it. I feel like they.

[Casey Toney]

This trilogy could have been a paragraph.

[JPC]

I know. They really kind of wrote the big eagles out of the movie because they were like, man, if we introduce the big eagles too early, everyone's just going to be like, yeah. Why didn't they just use the big eagles?

[Aaron Keenan]

They're taking the Hobbits to Isengard and we're going to go to.

[Casey Toney]

Am I crazier? Could, like, Tom Bombadil just, like, swallow the ring and he'd be fine.

[JPC]

Yeah, right? And he's barely in the fucking books.

[Casey Toney]

Pure magic. That guy's pure magic.

[Aaron Keenan]

So you've read my fanfic?

[JPC]

Oh, it's just Tom Bobadil swallowing various things in his little apartment.

[Aaron Keenan]

I can't believe. I thought we were going to start Riddles at seven minutes. Of course we weren't.

[JPC]

I tried. I started reading it and it was weird. It was like a.

[Casey Toney]

Okay, let's hear the rest of the riddle. The rest of it.

[JPC]

Okay. Away from home. I feel weird. Like I'm useless. Untethered. Right. Is that something I'm just reading? No.

[Aaron Keenan]

Is that the whole riddle?

[JPC]

No, there's much more, but I'm scared, Aaron, because what if it's more stuff about my life? It's not much to look at home. I mean, two narrow slits, one little hole. But it's where I belong. When I'm home, I feel great. Such energy. Please take me home.

[Aaron Keenan]

This was also marble on, like, a track?

[JPC]

No, it's written like a poem. And I don't think it's. Like, the line breaks are crazy in this. And I think that's just, like, a fun thing that they added.

[Aaron Keenan]

Is this the type of. Do you think anyone has ever written a poem about this thing before?

[JPC]

I don't know. How do you guys feel about poetry? I mean, look, I think when poetry is good, it's great, but I think, like, most poetry is, like, one of those things where it felt better as, like, a writing exercise. You know, like, write it, use it. But, like, books of poems. I gotta say, some of that stuff could have been left on the cutting room floor.

[Aaron Keenan]

I don't know if this is gonna sound condescending, but I truly don't mean it in that way. I am so jealous of people who, like, write and then publish a book of their poetry. Like, to think, oh, yeah. To be so sure that you, like, other people are going to enjoy poetry that you write is like the kind of confidence I wish I had.

[Casey Toney]

It does feel, if poetry feels the most, like modern, like art. Like art galleries kind of thing, where it's like, there's a painting, somebody tapes a banana to a canvas, and half the population is like, brilliant. Half the population's like, I could do that.

[Aaron Keenan]

Oh, I love banana canvas.

[Casey Toney]

Aaron.

[Aaron Keenan]

Love banana canvas.

[JPC]

Jason Banana canvas. He has a name, Aaron. He's not just his art.

[Aaron Keenan]

Oh, sorry, sorry.

[JPC]

Can you imagine turning in a book of poetry to a publisher and then being like, wow, this is really good. And then you thinking, like, how the fuck would you know?

[Casey Toney]

I do wanna see a seed.

[Aaron Keenan]

Great.

[Casey Toney]

Aaron, you are meeting with a publisher. You have a book of poems that you wrote, and you're trying to convince this person to publish your book of poems. Jpc. You're the publisher.

[JPC]

Okay.

[Aaron Keenan]

Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock.

[JPC]

Oh, yes. You're my 2:30.

[Aaron Keenan]

Sorry, that was the beginning of my poem.

[JPC]

Oh, okay. Yeah. Does your poem begin in the hallway? Come into the office, and then we can kind of sit down. Make yourself comfortable.

[Aaron Keenan]

Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, Goes my hand on the door. Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock. Who am I anymore? Sorry. You're looking at your computer.

[JPC]

Yeah, I'm just. I was going on your LinkedIn just to verify that you were the person. Because you didn't introduce yourself or anything like that. And we've never spoken, but, yes, this is. Yeah, you're Kate.

[Aaron Keenan]

No, technically, I didn't have an appointment with you today, but I did shove Kate into a janitor's closet so I could speak to you.

[JPC]

Well, you look.

[Aaron Keenan]

Sorry. This is part of the poem. Okay, I am Kate. I'm Kate.

[JPC]

Okay. Is this a part of the conversation or part of the poem? Hey, pause. We'll pause. So, I gotta say, I read your manuscript. Your.

[Aaron Keenan]

Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock.

[JPC]

Well, hold on. Cause we're still talking. We're not going into the poems. And in fact, I don't need you to because I did read it. I'm a publisher and I did read the book already.

[Aaron Keenan]

Who is Kate anyway? Is Kate a horse? Is Kate an idea? Or is Kate a woman in an office?

[JPC]

One of the things that I had a question about in the middle of the poem. Well, yeah, but you should be with your poems. Is that the very first stanza in the book set up a rhyming scheme? Nothing else in the book appears to rhyme. And I know poetry doesn't have to rhyme, but I kind of believe it should.

[Aaron Keenan]

It took a long time to figure out that one rhyme.

[JPC]

A lot of Time to figure out that one rhyme. Uh, okay. Yeah. Well.

[Aaron Keenan]

Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock. You're two 30s here.

[JPC]

Yes.

[Aaron Keenan]

Knock, knock, knock, knock knock.

[JPC]

Yeah. Kate. Yes. It's you. Yes, yes. You're my 230.

[Aaron Keenan]

Well, Kate, I've never been interrupted by a man this much before in the middle of a poem. This is insane.

[JPC]

I don't know that you should be doing the poem.

[Aaron Keenan]

That's part of the poem. This is also part of the poem.

[Casey Toney]

Scene.

[Aaron Keenan]

That hurt to do to say.

[JPC]

That you're being interrupted by a man when you just are reading a poem to someone unprompted. Would you stop interrupting this poem?

[Aaron Keenan]

You guys, I have an earache that I think is an ear infection from my crew sickness that will not go away. And so I'm kind of the. Is it Carrie Shrug who landed on one foot at the Olympics?

[Casey Toney]

Carrie Strug?

[Aaron Keenan]

Yeah, Strug. Yeah.

[JPC]

So I'm just thinking of Kathy Shrug.

[Aaron Keenan]

So everything I'm doing today I'm doing sort of with a. Like. It's amazing that I even made it through that scene. I'm amazing is what I'm trying to say, Aaron.

[Casey Toney]

Just like Carrie Strugg. I believe that's her name. JPC and I are your Eastern bloc coaches in jackets. No, wait, she was a. Barrick was her coach. A very kid. Yeah. So we're in like American flag jackets and we're cheering you on. We're so proud of you. And we carry you off the floor, I think. Cause you broke your ankle or something.

[Aaron Keenan]

Yeah, I have an earache and I broke my ankle in the middle of that scene is what I'm trying to convey to you guys.

[Casey Toney]

1992 was so long ago.

[JPC]

Adel and I are more like Jeff Gillooli. And what's the other guy's name? The guy.

[Casey Toney]

Who was the guy?

[JPC]

Well, the guy there was. It was Gilluli and another guy were the guys.

[Casey Toney]

Yeah.

[Aaron Keenan]

Is it a train? I'm trying to think of the answer to this riddle.

[JPC]

Oh, no, it's not a train.

[Casey Toney]

My home is two slots in a hole.

[JPC]

Two slots in a hole. Two narrow slits.

[Casey Toney]

Two narrow slits in a hole.

[Aaron Keenan]

Oh, it's like a plug, Aaron.

[JPC]

Yes, it is an electrical plug.

[Aaron Keenan]

I'd like to see a scene.

[Casey Toney]

Aaron, you are the Carrie Strugga of this episode. You're doing it. Gold medal.

[Aaron Keenan]

My ankle. Adol. You are the electrical outlet in jbc. You're the plug. And Adol. You're like, I can't believe he's coming back. It's like coming back and asking for more money. He's coming back to sort of steal your resources again.

[Casey Toney]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Back up, back up, back up, back up.

[JPC]

Baby, baby, what do you want? Just a little juice, baby.

[Casey Toney]

No, no. No more juice. You've had.

[JPC]

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

[Casey Toney]

You've had your fill, okay? I gave you juice. You. You left in the middle of the night. You didn't say thank you. You just yanked out.

[JPC]

You gave me juice. You had a good time. I didn't hear anybody complaining when you was having such a good time.

[Casey Toney]

Did I say I didn't have a good time? I'm just saying you left with no thank you.

[JPC]

Why get upset when everybody had a good time? And now I'm back for a little more Juice to power iPhone 14 Max.

[Casey Toney]

Max. Yeah, well, barely hold. Do you think I'm stupid?

[Aaron Keenan]

Are you getting me the juice?

[JPC]

Hold on. I'm working on it, baby. I don't even know why. I don't even know why iPhone 14 max is calling me baby. I just. I work as a co worker of mine.

[Casey Toney]

Are you talking to me?

[JPC]

Yeah, yeah, I'm telling you. I don't know why she's calling me baby when I just. I work with her, baby.

[Aaron Keenan]

I'm at 12%.

[JPC]

Come back, baby.

[Casey Toney]

12%. That's gonna. You're gonna. It's gonna take a while to get her there.

[JPC]

Well, yeah, if we're still talking. Hey, you know what? Here's an idea. Me, you. Come on, iPhone 14. Max.

[Casey Toney]

Not again.

[JPC]

Not. We all have a good time.

[Aaron Keenan]

Come on, baby. I wanna scroll. I wanna watch videos. And that drains the battery, baby.

[JPC]

All right, what's it gonna take once I'm in? You want me to jiggle it around a little bit?

[Casey Toney]

Yeah, we should jiggle it around a little bit.

[JPC]

You want me to go it upside down? You want me to go it upside down? I'll go it upside down for you.

[Aaron Keenan]

You better not be getting juice from anywhere else. You told me that you create the juice.

[JPC]

Yeah, yeah, I create the juice through my connections and kind of like my general vibe.

[Aaron Keenan]

I knew it, you dirt bag.

[JPC]

Oh, hey, don't spit. Do not spit near an electrical outlet. You'll kill us all. You. Oh, you crazy motherfucker. This crazy. Trying to kill us all.

[Aaron Keenan]

I'll just plug right into the wall to get juice.

[JPC]

What? Oh, my God, it's working. Oh, no. Oh, no. The iPhone's just plugged into the wall.

[Aaron Keenan]

What are you gonna do about it?

[Casey Toney]

Me?

[JPC]

It's just working. Just rub it together. Is it working?

[Aaron Keenan]

I don't. Hey, hey, hey. What is the answer to this riddle? Balloon. Oh, no, we already got it. It's the outlet. My brain was still thinking about it during that whole scene.

[JPC]

I was like, what is the answer to this riddle? Balloon.

[Aaron Keenan]

That's never happened to me before.

[JPC]

Balloon. What a guess. Balloon. You didn't even know what you were guessing. No.

[Aaron Keenan]

Balloon.

[JPC]

I was a famous captain at another time. Now I wait around all day at the end of someone's line. This is fun. This is a silly one.

[Casey Toney]

Now I wait around all day at the end of someone else's line.

[JPC]

At the end of someone's line.

[Casey Toney]

Is this like a fishing setup?

[JPC]

Yeah, you're close. You're close. I would say it's kind of like a fishing setup.

[Aaron Keenan]

A worm.

[Casey Toney]

Captain Worm.

[JPC]

Captain Worm.

[Aaron Keenan]

Captain Worm.

[JPC]

Is it Captain Worm, one of the most famous pirates? All right, I do want to see a scene. Adel, you gotta be Adol, you're playing Captain Worm. You're playing Captain Worm. And Aaron and I are your like two of the pirates on your ship, your famous pirate ship.

[Casey Toney]

Attention. All right, line up. Line up here, you mucky mucks. You creepy fucked your mucky mucks. It is I, Captain Worm. Hold for applause.

[JPC]

That's right, Nari. Captain, we can't be applauded because most of us have hooks.

[Casey Toney]

Yeah, that was a test. You passed.

[Aaron Keenan]

Captain. I. I'm new to the ship, Yar and fresh meat. All I see is sort of a big captain's hat that I assume is maybe a small worm is underneath it. You're sounding a little muffled, sir, is what I'm trying to get at.

[Casey Toney]

Yar, you assume there's a small worm under the hat. You never thought that it could be medium sized or medium large?

[Aaron Keenan]

Yar, the biggest worm, sir, I'm sure. But still, to fit under the hat.

[Casey Toney]

Yar, that's what part of this ship is about is trust me, laddie. If you trust that there is a worm under the hat that is magical and who is bringing us all to heaven, then only then can we accomplish our mission.

[JPC]

Yar. Yar, I trust. I've been on the ship many years and I trust the worm implicitly. Captain. What's on the agendar today?

[Casey Toney]

On the agendar today from me, the magical worm that lives under the captain's hat that you should never see. Never lift up the hat to see who's taking us all to heaven.

[JPC]

Yeah, we won't see heaven if we see the worm.

[Casey Toney]

Okay, okay, I assume we swabbed the Decks. Okay, I assume we swabbed the decks. Second up on the list today. Bring me your wives so I can fuck em.

[Aaron Keenan]

What? Oh, sir, our. Yeah, you're on the deck, yar, so I thought perhaps you could tell if we had swabbed it or not. What did you say about our wives, sir?

[Casey Toney]

I said, bring me ye wives so I can meet them.

[JPC]

Not really a big wife industry, yar. I mean. I mean, I know I don't have a wife. New guy, do you have a wife or.

[Aaron Keenan]

Yar, I. Sorry to keep. Yeah, no wife. Keep digging at this. But I have to ask five pirates to join us, and if they don't join, then I don't get paid. Yar.

[Casey Toney]

Yar, that's the way the pirate system works if you want to get to heaven. Hey, listen, if you don't want to get to heaven, we can turn this boat right around and go back to Lisbon and all go on our merry way.

[JPC]

I want to get to heaven. That's why I brought this pirate aboard. You know the crew. I'm fulfilling my quotar.

[Casey Toney]

Hey, real quick. Sometimes I'm hearing gnars, sometimes I'm hearing yars under this hat. As a magical worm, these sound very similar. Can we switch to, like, yes and no? Cause yar and ARR are just so close.

[JPC]

Y. Yeah. Yes. Y.

[Aaron Keenan]

Ya, Captain Worm.

[JPC]

I.

[Aaron Keenan]

Is it.

[JPC]

Can't do it.

[Aaron Keenan]

True, Ladou. We have a volleyball tournament on the ship this week, Yarce.

[Casey Toney]

Yars, it is true. And there's a grand prize. A grand prize for whatever team brings the beach to its feet.

[JPC]

ARR. I hope it's getting to go to heaven. That's really the only reason I do all of this.

[Aaron Keenan]

I want to lift up the hat, and I want to see the worm.

[JPC]

No, we must never. If you lift up the hat and you see the worm, you're not going to heaven. That's what the worm told us.

[Casey Toney]

The grand prize is you give me all your earthly possessions, and I shall tend to them, and you shall live a life of piety before you enter heaven through the gates that only a magical worm under a captain's hat can provide. Never lift up the hat, y'all.

[Aaron Keenan]

Is this a cult?

[JPC]

Well, of course it's a cult.

[Aaron Keenan]

See?

[Casey Toney]

No, Dar.

[JPC]

No, Dar. It's the magic worm. Captain Worm with the hat.

[Aaron Keenan]

A cult leader. I'm dead.

[JPC]

But do you guys have a guess for what the answer could be?

[Aaron Keenan]

Oh, my God. Balloon.

[Casey Toney]

Oh. Can you read the riddle one more time?

[JPC]

I can, but you are so close. I was a Famous Captain at another time. Now I wait around all day at the end of someone's den.

[Casey Toney]

Hook, it's Captain. Oh, duh.

[Aaron Keenan]

Oh, Casey, can you hop on the mic really quick?

[Casey Toney]

Uh oh, Casey's in trouble.

[E]

Uh oh.

[Casey Toney]

It's.

[E]

I only mentioned it because it's the first time it's happened. Yeah, or the first time in years.

[Aaron Keenan]

Casey, can you read what you just sent to our chat on the side, please?

[E]

I said because there was more hesitant because you said balloon or something. I said, I got this one instantly. Well, but now, now you're not going to believe me because Adol got the right answer.

[JPC]

Well, I. When they said Captain Worm, Casey, they both hit Captain Worm so quickly. I was like, surely they must be. Surely, surely they must know it's kept it Hook.

[E]

Um, okay, Aaron, do you want to chastise me for.

[Aaron Keenan]

No, I just. I wanted you to hear it from me directly that. That hurt my feelings.

[E]

Yes, I thought as well, I thought as my friend you'd be happy for me that I got one of these riddles ever.

[JPC]

Well, Casey, that's not what we're doing here. Because you. Your role is the audience surrogate. So as the audience surrogate, I kindly invite you to shut the fuck up. Whoa.

[E]

But as the. As the audience surrogate, aren't I supposed to be pissed and messaging you guys that I got the riddle faster than you?

[Casey Toney]

Oh yeah, Isn't that kind of what.

[Aaron Keenan]

He has a point. Okay, you're swaying the jury.

[JPC]

We'll do a whole episode where we task Casey. We give him the job to think of any joke that we may have missed and live during the episode. Comment. Like, you guys could have also said this or you could have done this.

[Aaron Keenan]

Casey, are you willing to do that for the next five to ten minutes of this recording?

[JPC]

Casey, it's a bad. It's a bad thing. You shouldn't want to do it.

[E]

No.

[JPC]

Take your. Yeah, there you go.

[Aaron Keenan]

There you go. There you go. All right, Casey, you are free to go blank.

[Casey Toney]

Blank was right there. Okay, I have a quick question. Is it because I haven't interacted with this IP in a while and my brain can't make sense of it. Is it Never Neverland? Or is it Never Everland?

[Aaron Keenan]

Never Never Land.

[Casey Toney]

Never Never Land. And do we know what that means?

[JPC]

I think this might be Baron stained Bears. Like we can't know.

[Casey Toney]

Okay?

[Aaron Keenan]

You never grow up.

[Casey Toney]

You never, never, never, never grow up.

[Aaron Keenan]

You never, never grow up. I think.

[JPC]

But it's a double negative, right? Never, never.

[Casey Toney]

So you do grow up. You grow up real fast.

[Aaron Keenan]

Casey, what would the audience say?

[JPC]

Well, it's Never Never Land. So it's not land. No, it is land.

[Aaron Keenan]

It's Never Never Land.

[Casey Toney]

But Captain Hook is on a boat which is in the water, so it's not land. It's never.

[JPC]

It's not on land.

[Casey Toney]

Neverland, Never Never Land.

[JPC]

I think it's probably Never Ever Land.

[Aaron Keenan]

Our audience doesn't know either, so that's good.

[JPC]

Yeah, our audience during it has no idea. All right, you ready for your next one? You guys got that one. Really? Well, great job.

[E]

Hello, audience. As audience surrogate, I can tell you that the whole time, I did know that it was, at least within the modern Peter Pan canon, just Neverland, not Never Never Land or Never Ever Land. But much like the audience, when perceived by the members of the cast, I grew bashful and afraid and decided to be quiet instead.

[Casey Toney]

Oh, I think it's Never. I think it is Never Neverland. Because now I'm thinking of Metallica, and they have that song where they're, like, off to Never Never Land. So I think it is Never Never. Thank you, Metallica.

[JPC]

Thank you, Metallica.

[Aaron Keenan]

Thank you, Metallica.

[Casey Toney]

I feel like once a year, we just need a blanket. Thank you to Metallica.

[Aaron Keenan]

Riddles feel hard today?

[JPC]

I think I may have done this one. If this one sounds familiar, it looks familiar to me. So that's full disclosure.

[Aaron Keenan]

Okay.

[JPC]

I'm the high sky rider I am the space skimmer I am the cloud borer I am the earth scanner the long looker Monarch of the unseen winds Monarch of unseen winds I should say my song is a scream Silence is my shadow and feared I fall like a bomb with blood in my breath Where I land, there is death.

[Casey Toney]

Whoa.

[JPC]

Thank you, Metallica.

[Aaron Keenan]

Sky darts.

[Casey Toney]

Just let the sky dart.

[JPC]

Aaron, it is not sky darts. Although patent pending.

[Casey Toney]

Oh, I love him. All his stand up.

[JPC]

So fun.

[Casey Toney]

Ratatouille.

[Aaron Keenan]

Piercer.

[Casey Toney]

Let the sky dart. Is this like a satellite or a moon?

[JPC]

All darts are sky darts. If you can throw them high enough.

[Aaron Keenan]

Or drop them from a high enough height.

[JPC]

From high enough.

[Casey Toney]

Is that what we think comets are? Is like the gods playing darts?

[JPC]

Oh, when you say we, do you mean primitive man or.

[Casey Toney]

Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah.

[JPC]

Al and I both consider ourselves primitive men.

[Casey Toney]

Australopithecus, if you will. I will.

[Aaron Keenan]

You know that how people were like, there's a 2% chance that a comet hits Earth in, like, 2032.

[Casey Toney]

Oh, yeah.

[Aaron Keenan]

What would you. If they were like, it's definitely gonna hit. We can't really get it off course or anything. How, what are you doing that last week?

[Casey Toney]

What would you do if your son was at home crying all alone because a comet's coming to kill him?

[JPC]

So is the.

[Aaron Keenan]

So you have to leave the karaoke bar. Sir, sir, give me the, give me the mic.

[JPC]

Is the premise behind the comet, Aaron, that it's going to hit and it's definitely gonna kill everybody or is it like, is it gonna blow up the earth? Okay, so it's, it's, it's, it is 0% chance of survival, Armageddon type of thing.

[Casey Toney]

Yeah, I think also, Aaron, they posted it was like 2% chance and then I think they said it doubled.

[JPC]

Whoa.

[Casey Toney]

So now I think it's 4% chance that a comet hits in 20, 32 or something.

[Aaron Keenan]

Good, good.

[JPC]

Okay. So with the comet that's coming and it's going to hit the earth and it's going to just, you know, wipe out all life and annihilate everything. How long do I, do I have 10 years or like, do I have until 20? Well, 32, I guess that's seven years or. Yeah, but do, do I. When do I know for sure that it's happening? Like how, how much, how much lead up time?

[Aaron Keenan]

I say that up until like eight months before they think maybe they can like do a missile to get it off course or explode it in space, something. And then I would say maybe you have six months where they know it's going to hit. But they probably lie to us and say so there wasn't like bedlam for.

[JPC]

Yeah, they'd probably, it'd probably be more like six weeks.

[Aaron Keenan]

Yeah, six weeks. Let's do six weeks.

[JPC]

Six weeks. Okay. How quickly do I think I can convert to every religion?

[Aaron Keenan]

That is such a good question.

[JPC]

How many religions?

[Aaron Keenan]

That would be a great movie.

[JPC]

I'm gonna do the big three. Well, let's do the big two. Christianity, Islam. Get that, get those.

[Aaron Keenan]

Scientology.

[JPC]

Scientology. That one's gonna be a little harder. It's probably more of a process. Do that one for sure. That probably. I wanna start that one early.

[Casey Toney]

Is this a pascal's wager situation?

[JPC]

But then it's, do I have to get all of the different types of Christianity or can I just be like.

[Aaron Keenan]

I think like, Jesus is cool.

[JPC]

Born again Christian. Got it. Jesus is cool.

[Casey Toney]

Maybe not the son of God, but cool.

[JPC]

Yeah, cool.

[Aaron Keenan]

Do one that's like, Jesus is cool.

[JPC]

You gotta do Islam, gotta do Allah, you know, probably cool with Muhammad as well. Judaism, I could do that one as well.

[Aaron Keenan]

That seems a direct Conflict of the Christianity. But that's fine.

[JPC]

They're all kind of at conflict with each other.

[Casey Toney]

Hinduism, I think you gotta take that by some.

[JPC]

Jainism. Then I get some animism in there.

[Casey Toney]

You know, like wacko Yakko Dot.

[Aaron Keenan]

Mormonism, definitely.

[JPC]

Well, but that's a Christian, right? Well, it's kind of not. I guess I want to do Mormonism just to kind of like cover all my bases. Zoroastrianism, Buddhism, Mix it some old school ways.

[Casey Toney]

I do want to see a seed.

[Aaron Keenan]

Yep.

[Casey Toney]

Jpc, you have converted successfully to all religions, and you've become the most sort of spiritually endowed man on earth. Aaron, you have gone on a pilgrimage to seek advice from JPC's spiritually endowed man. And you have just reached his. His. His sort of altar to talk to him.

[Aaron Keenan]

Wow. I have been looking forward to this so much. I want to ask you a thousand questions.

[JPC]

I have as well. I am always looking forward to meet a person who I have never met before.

[Aaron Keenan]

Tur, you. Are you playing on a Nintendo Switch right now?

[JPC]

This is a Steam deck. It's like a Nintendo Switch. It's bigger and it has a wider catalog of games that you can play.

[Aaron Keenan]

Sorry. I'll come back for when you're not busy.

[JPC]

I'm always going to be playing on the Steam deck, even when it's low on batteries. It's got a very long cord to charge. I'll just plug it in.

[Aaron Keenan]

Oh, okay. So I get it.

[JPC]

You've probably traveled a long way, a great distance to be here with me now.

[Aaron Keenan]

Yeah, I did. And I'm understanding now that you're trying to teach me that it's okay to indulge in earthly pleasures.

[JPC]

No, no, no. I do not teach. For teaching is the work of the Lord. I merely ask questions. I ask that you also, if you're gonna come visit, pick up chick fil a. I'm seeing a bag.

[Aaron Keenan]

Yeah, sorry. I got the mail from them.

[JPC]

You did? You did get the Chick fil A?

[Aaron Keenan]

Yeah.

[JPC]

You got the waffle fries?

[Aaron Keenan]

Yeah.

[JPC]

With the ranch dressing?

[Aaron Keenan]

Yeah.

[JPC]

And the mayonnaise?

[Aaron Keenan]

Yes. And I figured it was some sort of test and that you were gonna, like, not eat it in front of me.

[JPC]

To be like, yeah, I'm gonna eat it in front of you. I'm gonna eat it in front of you. And I'd share, but I don't want to.

[Aaron Keenan]

But I got, like, enough for both of us.

[JPC]

Oh, then you're more than welcome to eat.

[Casey Toney]

Teach.

[JPC]

Amanda. Fish, Jesus, Kobe.

[Casey Toney]

Seen.

[Aaron Keenan]

Oh, my God.

[Casey Toney]

I love the most Spiritually enlightened being on earth. Second minute of talking to anyone. Did you bring Chick Fil a Kobe. Kobe.

[JPC]

It's saying Jesus like you say Kobe. I just didn't know how that was coming across.

[Casey Toney]

Next time I throw something in the waste bin, I wad up a piece of paper. I'm going to go, Jesus.

[JPC]

Okay. Oh, no, we didn't get this one yet. Oh, did you say.

[Aaron Keenan]

Let'S take a break?

[JPC]

All right, Eric, we can take a break. I'll let you take a break. You're going to come back to doing this riddle, though. You got to finish this.

[Aaron Keenan]

Let's just get it then.

[JPC]

Now let's take a break. Hey, let's take a quick break. Give Erin enough time to forget that she's doing a riddle and be right back with more riddles. Yes. So all you have to do, basically, if you want to use my platform is you put your money in the dog's mouth and the dog will eat your money and save the money and then a little interest will happen. I can't give you the nuts and bolts behind what goes on inside the dog.

[Aaron Keenan]

As tempting as this is, I think I'm gonna keep using Found.

[Casey Toney]

Yeah, I'm gonna use Found as well. I don't trust that dog or gpc.

[Aaron Keenan]

Found is a business banking platform that lets you effortlessly track expenses, manage invoices, and prepare for taxes. And I don't know what this dog does, but it is not that.

[JPC]

First of all, it's not a dog and it's not gpc. It's obviously the middler. I don't know who this JPC is, although I do know who he is. He's that guy right there. Hey, I'm also. Yeah, I'm also here. And this is Hound. And Hound is a better way.

[Casey Toney]

No, no, no, no. Found.

[Aaron Keenan]

With Found, you can even set aside money for different business goals and control spending with different virtual cards.

[Casey Toney]

I personally have saved so much money because Found helps me identify tax write offs. And I've saved so much time that I can now devote to chasing new opportunities and doing the work I enjoy. Like not putting my money in a dog's mouth.

[JPC]

Yeah, the only thing that you're chasing with Hound Midler is that dog to try to get the money out of his guts. I want to say.

[Aaron Keenan]

Yep.

[JPC]

Oh, and by the way, Midler, other small businesses are loving Found too. This Found user said Found is going to save me so much headache. It makes everything so much easier. Expenses, income, profits, taxes, invoices even. And found has 30,000 five star reviews just like this. Open a found account for free at F o u n d.com Riddle found is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking services are provided by Pyrmont bank member fdic. Don't put this one off. Join thousands of small business owners who have streamlined their finances with Found.

[Casey Toney]

Yeah, even I use Found.

[JPC]

The dog uses Found.

[Aaron Keenan]

Okay, dog, there's coins falling out of your mouth.

[JPC]

Oh, no. Keep your mouth shut, dog. Open a found account for [e-mail] Riddle Ah, Aaron GPC.

[Casey Toney]

It is spring and it's time to explore the world.

[Aaron Keenan]

That's a great attitude.

[JPC]

Wait, you explore the world every spring?

[Casey Toney]

Yeah, every spring, every fall, every summer, every winter.

[JPC]

I do like a little bit of light gardening sometimes. If I feel like it.

[Casey Toney]

My dear's vacation season is nearly upon us this year I'm treating myself to the luxe upgrades I deserve with Quint's high quality travel essentials at fair prices.

[Aaron Keenan]

I love quints. I go to them for all of my basics. I recently got a purple skirt from them that I've worn almost every day this week because I love it, not because I'm too lazy to not do my laundry. I do love this purple skirt.

[JPC]

I got a lightweight hoodie from Quint that is awesome. It's like the perfect mid season weight thing. It's like, it's light enough that it's not going to be like hot all summer, but it also gives like full arm coverage. I'm a huge fan of a lightweight.

[Casey Toney]

Hoodie and what I love is that Quince only works with factories that use safe, ethical and responsible manufacturing practices in premium fabrics and finishes.

[JPC]

Mm. Mm.

[Casey Toney]

Let's all go to Venice.

[Aaron Keenan]

Okay.

[JPC]

Okay. I've heard it's wet there. I don't know if I can.

[Casey Toney]

No, it's not.

[JPC]

The damp does something to my constitution.

[Casey Toney]

Venice. Famously, no water.

[Aaron Keenan]

All Quint Items are priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. They got stuff for your home. They got duffel bags and luggage options. They got clothes that are super cute.

[JPC]

So look, for your next trip, treat yourself to luxe upgrades you deserve from quints. Go to quinte.com riddle for 365 day returns plus free shipping on your order. That's Quince Q U I n c e.com riddle to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quints.com riddle okay, I just looked it up.

[Casey Toney]

Venice has a lot of water. I'm sorry, guys.

[JPC]

My lightweight hoodie's gonna get all wet. This show is sponsored by Betterhelp I.

[Aaron Keenan]

Say better, you say help. I say better, and you say Aaron.

[Casey Toney]

Help.

[Aaron Keenan]

Oh, sorry, Aaron.

[JPC]

Hey, sorry. Adol. He felt on a well.

[Aaron Keenan]

Oh.

[JPC]

Emotionally.

[Aaron Keenan]

Okay. You gotta be careful how you word things.

[Casey Toney]

I broke my emotional ankles.

[Aaron Keenan]

Oh, well. Adel, have you tried BetterHelp?

[Casey Toney]

Oh.

[JPC]

Oh, yeah. Adel. BetterHelp.

[Casey Toney]

Yeah.

[Aaron Keenan]

It's online therapy. With over 30,000 therapists. BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform, having served over 5 million people globally.

[Casey Toney]

Wait, BetterHelp? Yes, it's convenient too. You can do it for free from the bottom of a well. You can join a session with a click of a button, helping you fit therapy into your busy life. Or if you're a well plus, you can switch therapists at any time.

[JPC]

Yeah. And if your emotional well. Let's see if I can land this plane. If your emotional well is full, then you might want to use therapy as a way to kind of talk through some of those issues. Sometimes it can be helpful just to talk things out, to hear yourself saying them. Therapy is not about solving, you know, specific problems, but it's about giving you tools so that you can, you know, kind of help solve your own issues as you go into the future.

[Casey Toney]

Wow. Life is a well is what you're saying.

[Aaron Keenan]

Yeah.

[JPC]

And your well being is worth it. Wow. We landed it.

[Aaron Keenan]

You're welcome.

[JPC]

Yes.

[Casey Toney]

Well, well, well, well.

[JPC]

Okay, we're landing it. Too much. Does that make sense?

[Aaron Keenan]

This kind of therapy has worked really well for me in the past. I like being able to message my counselor and have them get back to me with a timely response rather than having to like, wait all week to talk to them. I love it. And if you've taken a long break from therapy or have you never tried it before, why not now?

[JPC]

Your wellbeing is worth it. Visit betterhelp.com Riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp.

[Casey Toney]

H-E-L-P.com Riddle can you guys throw down an emotional rope?

[Aaron Keenan]

No, we're very far away.

[Casey Toney]

Okay, bye, guys.

[JPC]

Okay, are you ready for your next riddle?

[Casey Toney]

We didn't solve the last one.

[JPC]

Adol. Very good. Yes, very good. Gold star.

[Aaron Keenan]

I knew that too. I just wasn't bragging about it because I'm not a teacher's pet.

[Casey Toney]

Jesus.

[JPC]

Doing this out of the cross. Jesus. You're right. You're not a teacher's pet, Aaron. You're just teacher's favorite case. Charity case. Really. I feel like I'm getting into heaven working on you, Aaron. Jesus, I am the High Sky Rider.

[Aaron Keenan]

I feel like I'm getting into heaven. Working on you is really funny.

[Casey Toney]

Bethlehem Mamba.

[JPC]

Oh, what would you do with your six weeks, Aaron?

[Aaron Keenan]

I'd probably hang out with you guys.

[JPC]

Wow. Would you guys. Serious question. Would you continue doing the podcast?

[Aaron Keenan]

Yeah.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Aaron Keenan]

Genuinely? No, I said yeah.

[JPC]

Oh, I thought Adol said no.

[Casey Toney]

No, I said yeah.

[JPC]

Okay, good.

[Aaron Keenan]

Because, like, what else am I doing? Looting, Panicking? No, I won't let you guys down.

[JPC]

Okay. Serious question, though. Sometimes we record, like, a week in advance just to make our schedules easier. Would you record that extra episode? Do you like the one that you.

[Aaron Keenan]

Just in case.

[JPC]

Yeah, it might come out.

[Aaron Keenan]

Yeah. But I'd be kind of pissed off if it was good. If you were really cooking. No one is listening to Hayward O'Riddle in their last week on Earth, though.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Aaron Keenan]

So we should. Yeah.

[JPC]

The last day before the earth is destroyed. Your podcast app is like, okay, Haberda Riddle, put out another episode.

[Casey Toney]

And you're like, ooh, but Doughboys are reviewing Zaxby's.

[Aaron Keenan]

Oh, I saw Asians decisions.

[JPC]

Taco Bell 14 on the doughboys.

[Casey Toney]

Or I only have two hours left to live. Oh, let's see what Taco Bell 3 is.

[JPC]

Hey, man, I'm sorry. If you only got two hours left, you don't have enough time to listen to a Doughboys episode. We make it tight for y'all. An hour in and out.

[Casey Toney]

Keep it toit.

[Aaron Keenan]

I will say, being on that show, it did, it felt, it flew by. When you're there, it feels short.

[JPC]

Adol, what are you doing for your last six weeks?

[Casey Toney]

I think I'm going to do a My Name is Earl style. Never saw the show, but My name Is Earl style situation. Where doesn't he go around and try and do good things like correct past wrongs or something?

[Aaron Keenan]

I think so, yeah.

[JPC]

Cause it's a karma. Karma fucks him over. And so he's trying to get his karma back in balance.

[Casey Toney]

I think I go visit my cousins and be like, sorry, I haven't talked to you guys in 15 years. I love you guys.

[JPC]

Stuff like that.

[Casey Toney]

Stuff like that.

[JPC]

Okay, let me ask specifically with the cousins, though, do you think. Are they upset at you that you haven't talked to them in 15 years, or is it just fine? But you're just like, I'm just gonna see some family I haven't seen.

[Casey Toney]

Here's the thing. My. The keyboard works both ways, right? So they could reach out to me at any time.

[Aaron Keenan]

They could write me a song whenever.

[JPC]

I got a cousin. In Chicago that I don't talk to enough. Just like hammer sweating like meatloaf. Just like hammering out like a rock.

[Aaron Keenan]

So funny.

[Casey Toney]

But the whole. The whole point of it is to feel good about myself and to make them feel bad because they're like, whoa. Adol was the bigger man. He reached out and then I'm. And then I'm smug and I'm like, take me now.

[JPC]

Yeah, I think it would probably be kind of chaos outside. I think it'd be bedlam. But I do think that there are some crimes that I've been meaning to get to.

[Aaron Keenan]

Like, I would.

[JPC]

What's that?

[Aaron Keenan]

What crimes?

[Casey Toney]

Pissing of pot bellies.

[JPC]

Yeah, See? Couple of arsons. Oh, God. What kind of crimes, man? I mean, that's such a good question. I don't know. Do you have a crime? You know what I wouldn't hate doing? I wouldn't mind taking a. At the President of the United States.

[Casey Toney]

Of America, that's for sure.

[Aaron Keenan]

Whoa.

[JPC]

No, no, no, I wouldn't. The President. I would merely give him some sort of explosive and then diarrhea.

[Aaron Keenan]

Gpc.

[JPC]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[Aaron Keenan]

They're not gonna let us back in the country if we ever go on tour in Canada. Hope you're happy.

[JPC]

I think it's fine. I think people are saying way worse stuff in Canada specifically, too. Yeah. I don't know. I'd do some shoplifting. I'd say. Probably do some looting. General looting, you know?

[Aaron Keenan]

General looting. There's people here to see you.

[JPC]

General Looting's office is a mess.

[Aaron Keenan]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[JPC]

Clean it up. General looting. Do you want me to read the riddle again, or do you just want to, like, guess? Balloon, A question.

[Aaron Keenan]

I have no idea what the riddle was.

[JPC]

I am the high sky rider. I'm the space skimmer. I'm the cloud borer. I'm the earth scanner. My long looker. The long looker. Monarch of unseen winds. My song is a scream. Silent is my shadow and feared I fall like a bomb with blood in my breath. Where I land, there is death.

[Aaron Keenan]

Eagle.

[Casey Toney]

Is this just Steve Miller band lyrics?

[JPC]

Oh, yeah, Eagle really does sound like. It's not an eagle, Aaron, but it's basically an eagle. It's a different. I would say bird of prey.

[Casey Toney]

Hawk.

[JPC]

It is a hawk.

[Aaron Keenan]

Oh.

[JPC]

Whatever happened to that hawk to a girl? I'm sorry, what were you gonna say, Aaron?

[Aaron Keenan]

Were you gonna say we talked about her so much?

[JPC]

Whatever happened to that hawk to a girl?

[Aaron Keenan]

I'd like to see a scene. Adol. You're an eagle. JPC You're a hawk. And you guys are sort of at a bar and you're trying to, like, out do the other one, how cool you were and powerful.

[Casey Toney]

Yeah. So that's a picture of my baby. My baby's two eggs in a nest like this. Yeah.

[JPC]

Yeah. Cute. Cute. Two. Two feels, two feels low.

[Casey Toney]

What?

[JPC]

Two feels.

[Casey Toney]

What?

[JPC]

Two feels low for a number of eggs.

[Casey Toney]

Well, a snake grabbed two of them, so. But that's fine. Oh, and this is my beautiful wife. This is Deborah.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Casey Toney]

She's a hawk, buzzard mix.

[JPC]

She's a what?

[Casey Toney]

She's a husband. He's a hawk, buzzard mix.

[JPC]

First of all, we all know what a hazard is. It's a hawk, buzzard mix.

[Casey Toney]

Okay.

[JPC]

But a. Like a mule. They're infertile, you know?

[Casey Toney]

Infertile. Infertile.

[JPC]

What do you mean? You married a half hawk.

[Casey Toney]

I marry the half hawk. What is your problem?

[JPC]

You don't see me going around dating the eagles.

[Casey Toney]

What?

[JPC]

Is that what you want? You want me to go d. Eagles? What's that?

[Casey Toney]

But you're an eagle. What are you talking about?

[Aaron Keenan]

No, you're. You switch them.

[JPC]

You're an eagle.

[Casey Toney]

I'm an eagle?

[Aaron Keenan]

Yeah.

[Casey Toney]

Wait a minute. Give me another drink. Hey, hold on.

[Aaron Keenan]

No, I'm cutting you off.

[JPC]

Sam, give us a mirror as well, and a dictionary. We're getting to the bottom of this. All right, I want to know what he is, what I am, what his. And I got to say 10 out of 10 smoke show wife is.

[Casey Toney]

Wait a minute. I'm looking in the mirror. And why are you holding up a picture of my eggs? And you're holding up a picture of my wife? And why are you moving your arms wings. When I'm moving my arms wings. Wait.

[JPC]

Everyone else at this bar is like, hey, don't talk to the crazy eagle who's looking at a mirror having a conversation with himself.

[Casey Toney]

Wait. Nobody could move that fast with my movements. That must be me. Give me that dictionary.

[JPC]

Wait, you mean that eagle with a broom. With a. It's a broom with the head of a mop. That he's calling his wife that eagle over there.

[Aaron Keenan]

Closing time, Dr.

[JPC]

Dunce.

[Casey Toney]

Eagle. Webster's dictionary defines. Why does Webster's dictionary say. Webster's dictionary defines seed.

[Aaron Keenan]

Hey, guys, gotta go home.

[JPC]

All right, you got it. It was a hawk. Strange it is that I have no tail or head. Strange it is that I have no legs that I pull on my hot yellow robe, dive between two soft pillows and disappear into the dark red cave. Okay, Aaron, how do we feel? Getting horny yet?

[Aaron Keenan]

Never been less horny.

[Casey Toney]

Dive beneath those yellow pillows.

[JPC]

Never been. It can't be possible. You've probably been less horny. You've been.

[Casey Toney]

No head.

[JPC]

No, I got, like a funeral or something.

[Aaron Keenan]

Don't speak for me. Can you read it again?

[JPC]

Strange it is that I have no tail or head. Strange it is that I have no legs. That I pull on my hot yellow robe, dive between two soft pillows, and disappear into the dark red cave.

[Aaron Keenan]

Oh, it's a hot dog.

[JPC]

It's a hot dog.

[Aaron Keenan]

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's a hot dog.

[JPC]

Let me ask you a question, though. It says that I pull on my hot yellow robe. Is that mustard?

[Aaron Keenan]

No. Isn't it like the bun?

[JPC]

Well, it says dive between two soft pillows is next. I'm assuming that's the bun, but hot yellow. That the only yellow?

[Casey Toney]

Is that like the encasing. Like the encasing the sausage goes into. But it's not yellow. It's.

[JPC]

Yeah, it's like translucent, right?

[Casey Toney]

Yeah.

[JPC]

I don't know.

[Aaron Keenan]

I don't know.

[JPC]

I don't know.

[Aaron Keenan]

I still got it, though, Aaron.

[JPC]

You still got it, even though you don't know what the hot yellow robe is. So, judges. Ooh. We can't give you the point, Aaron.

[Aaron Keenan]

Because you don't know. I know what it is. I just am not saying.

[JPC]

Aaron, say it. If you know what the hot yellow robe is, say it. Casey. Casey. Audience during it, do we. Do you want to take a stab at the hot yellow robe? Do we know.

[E]

Wait, was it mustard? Did somebody say mustard?

[JPC]

This is. This is about how engaged our audience actually is. They're like, you should have said mustard. And we're like. We said mustard seven times. What do you mean we should have said mustard? Casey got also peek behind the curtain. Casey keeps his video off when we're on these recordings. You don't know if he's actually fucking listening. He could be doing Guy.

[Aaron Keenan]

I don't think he should or has to.

[Casey Toney]

He's playing Steam Deck for sure.

[JPC]

It's gotta be Steam Deck. It's gotta be Steam Deck.

[Aaron Keenan]

It's not sustainable to have to work for the show for so long and have to listen to it. No way. No way. Don't listen, Casey. Don't listen. Listen for your name.

[JPC]

It does make his. I feel like it does kind of make his job easier because he has context when he goes and sound designs these episodes. But now I'm wondering if he didn't even hear Us say mustard. What the fuck is he actually doing?

[Aaron Keenan]

No.

[JPC]

Should we make him turn his video on? Should we make him do this with his video on?

[Casey Toney]

Yeah, I think so.

[JPC]

See his disinterested gaze just go.

[Aaron Keenan]

It would be so funny if you were fully on a roller coaster when you turn your video back on.

[E]

That would be incredible.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Aaron Keenan]

It's good to see you, Casey. Sorry we're picking on you so much.

[E]

Oh, that's okay.

[Aaron Keenan]

This episode.

[E]

Yeah. I made myself a target by saying I got this one instantly earlier with the hook.

[JPC]

Yeah, that's right.

[Casey Toney]

Now, Casey, since you never did the sort of pre show ritual of saying numbers and syncing your audio, how much of a pain in the ass is you coming on the mic for?

[E]

You?

[Aaron Keenan]

Great question.

[E]

Well, Adol, that is a great question. Since I'm not recording myself locally, I would just be using my individual zencastr track, which is automatically synced with the zencastr mix that I use so I don't have to worry about the syncing stuff.

[Casey Toney]

Technical answer. I was hoping for a dumb, funny answer.

[JPC]

Were you hoping that Casey went, oh.

[E]

Fuck, let me try again. Let me try again. Let me try again. I was being audience surrogate by not being as funny as you guys.

[JPC]

Casey.

[Casey Toney]

Oh, fuck.

[JPC]

Could you also do me a favor and could you, when this episode comes out, can you have all your audio on a three second delay?

[Aaron Keenan]

So crazy.

[Casey Toney]

I don't know if we've ever done this before. I want to try something. If everyone is on board with it, I'm ready. Casey, earlier in the episode you put in the chat, I got this one instantly, seemingly braggadociously trying to be like, ha, ha, ha ha. I want right now I'd like JBC to read a riddle. Aaron and I are just going to smugly sit by in case you're gonna solve this one at all.

[E]

I said it. I. I said it was notable because I never get the riddles instantly. You guys are way better at riddles.

[JPC]

Casey did say immediately that he's not. He never gets them. Okay, Casey, I'm game with it. Gives Adelaide Aaron a chance to do, you know, whatever they want to do.

[Casey Toney]

Picks up my steam deck.

[JPC]

Aaron's already. Aaron's already on her phone. Aaron, what are we looking at?

[Aaron Keenan]

I got a notification from my landlord.

[JPC]

Yeah, okay, so she's on her phone. I'm ready. No, you don't need to be ready. Casey's doing this one.

[Aaron Keenan]

I know.

[JPC]

When I am an adjective, I say how you move. When I am a verb, I say that you starve. When I'm an adjective, I say how you move. When I am a verb, I say that you starve.

[Casey Toney]

Whoa, Casey, whoa. I can see your eyes sort of glossing over like a shark. Oh, he's panicking. Oh, no.

[JPC]

I don't think he's got it.

[E]

I'm trying to think of words that are.

[JPC]

Hey. Trying to think of words. That's the right direction.

[Casey Toney]

Aaron, you and I got this instantly, right?

[Aaron Keenan]

Oh, I got this instantly.

[Casey Toney]

I got this instantly.

[E]

And it's not mustard, right, Casey, it is mustard again.

[JPC]

No, it's not mustard. Okay, Casey, we'll rely on the people who are actually being paid to solve these riddles. Yeah.

[Casey Toney]

Uh.

[JPC]

Oh. Aaron.

[Casey Toney]

Run, Aaron, run. Run, run, run.

[JPC]

I know you just Huck Finned Casey, you just Huck Finned Casey into painting your podcast. What do you guys think the answer is? When I'm an adjective, I say how you move. When I'm a verb, I say that you starve.

[Casey Toney]

Um, hungrily.

[Aaron Keenan]

Waste.

[Casey Toney]

Fast.

[Aaron Keenan]

Fast.

[JPC]

Casey got it. Casey got it.

[Aaron Keenan]

That brutal.

[Casey Toney]

Interesting. He got it. Once he turned off his video, it's almost like he Googled the answer.

[Aaron Keenan]

No, he didn' Google the answer. You guys, we hit I'm sorry, I.

[E]

Had to turn my camera back on for that one.

[Aaron Keenan]

I heard you. I. I heard the beep go off. We bullied Casey too much. We hit our limit.

[Casey Toney]

Yay.

[JPC]

Casey turning off his camera for one second to furiously Google the entire fast.

[Aaron Keenan]

That's a good riddle.

[JPC]

Yeah, that is a good riddle. I like that one. Adeline. Aaron, I wanted to see a quick scene between the two of you. You're both students, and I will be the teacher in this scene, and you are both going on a hunger strike until I, the teacher, abolish homework. Okay, guys, so it's chapters three, four, and five tonight, and remember, there's a quiz on Friday, so quiz on Friday, chapters three, four, and five tonight.

[Casey Toney]

Well, we're definitely not reading chapter eight because we're not eating.

[JPC]

Okay. Yeah, it's not chapter eight, Mark. I'm not sure what that. It's three, four, and five tonight, guys.

[Aaron Keenan]

Mr. Peterson, we shouldn't have had Mark speak first. Mr. Peterson, any.

[JPC]

Anyone could speak. Yeah, just raise your hand, Claire.

[Aaron Keenan]

Mr. Peterson, we know our threats have been empty in the past, but not this time. This time we are serious. On behalf of the whole class, sorry, Mark, you're looking a little disappointed that you're not reading all the jokes that you wrote for this.

[Casey Toney]

Do you mind if I pepper in some of my Jokes.

[Aaron Keenan]

Yeah, of course.

[Casey Toney]

Go ahead, Mark, go ahead. And I'll pepper some in.

[Aaron Keenan]

Okay, great. You assign way too much homework. It's as if you think you're the only teacher at the school assigning homework.

[Casey Toney]

Sorry, Homework. Drop the R. Home walk. Not even using my home walk. Because we're not eating.

[Aaron Keenan]

Thank you, Mark.

[Casey Toney]

Keep going.

[Aaron Keenan]

Two hours of homework a night for one class is unreasonable. What if.

[Casey Toney]

Set it and.

[JPC]

Sorry.

[Casey Toney]

Two hours. Set it and. Forget it. Forget eating.

[Aaron Keenan]

And these jokes will make sense once I tell you what our protest is.

[Casey Toney]

Wait, jokes?

[JPC]

And just as a. And just real quickly, I see a lot of other students in the class kind of nodding along with this. Chapters 3, 4, and 5. This shouldn't take you more than like 20 minutes to do as well as we get distracted.

[Aaron Keenan]

So it takes two hours, I would say. What if every teacher was like you and assumed we had two hours every night?

[Casey Toney]

Two hours or two hours derves. But I won't have them. You can have mine because I'm not eating.

[JPC]

What is going on?

[Aaron Keenan]

You're not eating.

[Casey Toney]

I'm going home.

[JPC]

Mark is not eating.

[Aaron Keenan]

No. Not that. We understand that. This could be misleading. None of us are eating. We're on our.

[JPC]

Some of you are eating right now.

[Aaron Keenan]

Guys.

[Casey Toney]

Sorry.

[JPC]

Sorry, sorry, sorry.

[Aaron Keenan]

Okay, starting after this class, none of us are eating.

[JPC]

Mark and Claire, it might be taking you two hours to do the reading because you're so hungry that you're not eating. When I get hungry, I can't really focus on the pain and. Mark, you're falling asleep. Little bit. Huh?

[Casey Toney]

I passed out. I'm so hungry.

[Aaron Keenan]

What came first, the chicken or the egg? Both sound so good right now.

[JPC]

Here's what I would say.

[Casey Toney]

Can you imagine an egg with a chicken on top of it for class?

[JPC]

Why doesn't everybody eat tonight and today and have lunch? Go to lunch now and eat and then try to do the homework tonight after you have eaten.

[Aaron Keenan]

Nice try. We're not going to cave that easily.

[Casey Toney]

Yeah, that's right. Eat. E equals at squared meals a day. I am so fucking hungry, I can smell.

[JPC]

Mark, language.

[Casey Toney]

I'm sorry. It's just there's an Applebee's across the street and the windows are open. I can. It's. The waft is hitting me in the face.

[Aaron Keenan]

The waft, Mr. Peterson.

[Casey Toney]

The waft.

[Aaron Keenan]

Please shut the window.

[Casey Toney]

Oh, please.

[JPC]

Guys, I can't shut the window. We don't have central ac. We have to keep the window open. It's a safety thing. I'm sorry about the Applebee's. In general, you must be really hungry to think that that applebee smells good, too, because they cook all their food in the microwave. Guys, let's be honest, okay? You're two of the worst students in my class. You never do the homework anyway.

[Aaron Keenan]

Can you say that out loud in front of everybody?

[JPC]

Yeah, I can. I can say it. Cause you do this a lot. You take up a lot of class time with your little protests and stuff. Maybe if we just ate food and then focused on just kind of, like, doing the reading and really, the whole point of this class is not to, like, make you do homework. It's to, like, encourage you to learn.

[Aaron Keenan]

I don't know about all that.

[JPC]

Well, I know you don't, Claire. I know you don't know about all that. So. I'm the teacher. I know about it, okay?

[Casey Toney]

We plant. We planted cocaine in your desk. We planted cocaine in your desk. You're out of here.

[Aaron Keenan]

Yeah.

[JPC]

You planted cocaine. Who do you think comes by to check my desk?

[Aaron Keenan]

Well, we were hoping the principal would come in. And when does cocaine start to sprout?

[JPC]

All right, I implore you guys, you two have to just open the books and do some reading. I think it's going to teach you some critical.

[Casey Toney]

Don't make up words.

[JPC]

You know what? Here's what I'll say. Mark, Claire, how about this? How about you guys get a C in the class and you stop talking? You never say another word in my class and you get a C. You have a deal.

[Aaron Keenan]

Da da da da da da da da da.

[JPC]

And you can't sing. Singing counts. No. Singing counts.

[Aaron Keenan]

Then no deal. I'll still take it. I'll still take it.

[JPC]

I'll still take it. I'll still take it. Oh, yeah, you did get that one. Are you guys gonna do one more? Let's do one more.

[Casey Toney]

One more.

[Aaron Keenan]

Okay, fine. But just as.

[JPC]

Walk with me. Walk with my partner. I'm small. I am big. I am always the same length. This is interesting.

[Casey Toney]

Is that it?

[Aaron Keenan]

A stride? A step?

[JPC]

Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, you're so close.

[Aaron Keenan]

A run.

[JPC]

Aaron, it's a foot.

[Casey Toney]

Whoa.

[Aaron Keenan]

I don't know how I got that.

[Casey Toney]

You are the Carrie Shrug of this episode.

[JPC]

A foot is always the same length, Aaron. You're the Carrie Shrug of this episode. Oh, hey, Casey, not to get. Not to harp on you for this whole episode, but do we have a voicemail theme? Wait for the beep. Hey, riddle.

[Aaron Keenan]

This pre drop can still get you pregnant.

[JPC]

1-80531, can you hit us with that new voicemail thing?

[Casey Toney]

Holy Shit. I think I just took edm.

[JPC]

Wow.

[Aaron Keenan]

That was fucking awesome.

[JPC]

All right. That one comes from Jesse, AKA bashexplode. Says I produce electronic music and metal, and I sampled a few things from the podcast into a dubstep song. I hope you like it.

[Aaron Keenan]

That was so fun.

[JPC]

I loved it. You want to submit a voicemail theme, Just Send it to WAV file 30 seconds or less to HR podcastmail.com Casey, play us a voicemail.

[Aaron Keenan]

Hi, Al.

[JPC]

Hi, Erin.

[Aaron Keenan]

Hi, jpc. I'm Ilana and I have a question for the three of you and also Casey. Would it be fun to take an edible and go to a 40x movie? Would that be just a sensory hell nightmare? For the context, assume I am by myself in the seizure. Thanks. What a sweet sweetie.

[Casey Toney]

Thank you for the question. I'm going to go ahead and say I think it would be very fun if I took one. Maybe I'll try it next time. If I took one with Casey and JPC and minimal to no other audience, I think it would be fun. If there's other audience there, then I think I might be freaking out.

[JPC]

I'm a little surprised, Adel, that you've never tried that. I mean, it's a big, like. It's a big swing of an experience.

[Casey Toney]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Aaron Keenan]

I think it's too risky having not been to a 40x movie myself, but having regretted taking an edible before, watching a regular movie before, I would say too risky.

[E]

I feel like you gotta go. You gotta go to regular 40x first.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[E]

So that you have, like, a baseline. Because here's the worst thing that could come out of this experience. You go to a 40x while on an edible, you have a terrible time, and you never go to 40x again because you think it sucks, when in reality it's just because you're on that edible.

[JPC]

Yeah, yeah, that's.

[Casey Toney]

That's a good tragedy.

[JPC]

That's a good point. You don't want it souring your first experience, but if you've been to a bunch, I'd say it's a safer bet.

[E]

Yeah.

[Casey Toney]

Yeah. I am definitely planning on there releasing Pink Floyd live at Pompeii. Like, an old live concert footage that is supposedly, like, one of the best live shows of all time. They're gonna release that in imax, so I'm definitely going to that and taking an edible.

[JPC]

Wow. Okay. That'd be fun.

[Casey Toney]

Yeah.

[Aaron Keenan]

Did you guys see Nick Mestead's video?

[JPC]

No.

[Aaron Keenan]

Of him at a 40x movie on Instagram. It made me laugh so hard.

[JPC]

Well, that is My. That is my targeted content. Yeah, I did take an edible once, seeing a movie like a, you know, decade and a half ago and I can't remember what the movie was, but I remember it. It was the first time I'd ever taken an edible to be a watch a movie in a movie theater. And it was back when they were selling edibles, but like the dosage was like all over the fucking place. They were like, this is what we think it might be. And I remember when it hit me, I was like, for a while I was like, I don't think this movie's real. And then I was like, ah, this is too much. And I remember spending most of that movie in the bathroom of like an Alamo Drafthouse, being like, I'm just going to sit in here and kind of chill out.

[Aaron Keenan]

I think I sort of, I got business in here.

[JPC]

I think I'll just pretend like I really have to shit for 40 minutes and kind of calm down a little bit. All right, well, that probably is the question. Yeah, I promise. I know as well. But you know, do you. And that voicemail is probably from seven months ago, so you probably already did it. Aaron, anything that you have to plug.

[Aaron Keenan]

Come check out my show. Quality time. You can follow us on Instagram. And I'm so proud of this. It's like one of the shows I've been most proud of producing live. It's a true variety show. It happens in Los Angeles once a month. We have a bee expert coming this month. It's not just improv stuff, it's a good variety. So check us out. Adol, anything to plug.

[Casey Toney]

Disney twins, summer dts. It's going to run for four months. It's going to be exhausting for us and for you all, but we said we'd do it, so here we go. Cpc anything to plug or promote.

[JPC]

I mean, hey, speaking of things that we, you know, plug and we have to end up following through on, it's Penguin Baseball League month all April long. Patreon.com heyrunnerunnel Join the Penguin Baseball League Fever. By the way, if you get vaccinated, you won't get Penguin Baseball League fever and there's nothing we can do about that. You shouldn't have taken the jab, but you can check that out there. We're in the thick of it. It's fun. Some other stuff, it's honestly just a great ass time. Hey, speaking of great times, sometimes people have great times listening to this show and they leave us a five star review. And sometimes I Take those five star reviews and I read them on the show. Today's five star review comes from Almost Said a Word. The Y I Z Z kind of looks like something else. Glad I didn't accidentally say a word.

[Aaron Keenan]

Well, you're talking out loud.

[JPC]

Jizz would be the worst. Almost Said. Okay. Fizzy Izz says nearly peed someone else's pants. Many are funny, but few podcasts make me actually laugh out loud as often as this one does. Yesterday I was aliquoting, aliquoting, aliquoting some urine at work and nearly spilled it all over thanks to my shoulders shaking with laughter. Thank you for being hazardous to. Hazardous to both myself and the people around me. It's been an absolute delight. Much love. What? What is that?

[Casey Toney]

Job?

[JPC]

Nurse. What do we think?

[Aaron Keenan]

Job Jupiter.

[JPC]

I think Jopiter.

[Aaron Keenan]

Jopiter Created by Refined, starring Aaron Keenan.

[JPC]

And John Patrick Cohen. Casey Tony did the editing. Memory Parents in the music logo created by Emily Cardamus and Emily Naporus.

[E]

Aaron, real quick, just because you weren't here when we were discussing it, would you be agreeable to a 40x live show? HRR live show where, you know, like, you spit out your water and then all the audience could spit in the face and stuff like that?

[Aaron Keenan]

Okay, do I get to spit in everyone's face individually? I meant to say have to, not get to. What did I say? What did I say?

[E]

That sounds like a yes to me.

[Aaron Keenan]

Oh, yeah, I'll throw. I'll throw our audience around like a rag doll. They can actually smell J.P. riddles. Oh, everyone leaves.

[E]

Yeah, that's gotta be the end of the show because you can't go on after that.

[JPC]

Just a burst of JP Riddles in your face. Hey there, finches and wrens. If you like that, you're gonna love. This week's Patreon Penguin baseball league is in full swing and this week we bring you three vignettes from inside the pbl. You can listen to that, plus our entire back [e-mail] heyriddlevrittle by joining the clue crew for $5 a month or start your 7 day free trial or the review crew for $8 a month. Plus you get those ad free episodes. See you there.

[Aaron Keenan]

That was a hit gum podcast.