#354: Sarey Jessicy Parky

Summary

Hey Riddle Riddle
Episode #354: Sarey Jessicy Parky
Release Date: April 30, 2025

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1. Magic Show Mishaps (00:01 - 02:07)

The episode kicks off with the trio—Adal Rifai, Erin Keif, and John Patrick Cohen—immersed in a whimsical magic show scenario. Adal introduces a puzzling situation involving a mysterious character claiming to know them but appearing unfamiliar:

Adol Refai (00:59): "I don't think so unless you're wearing some sort of prosthetics."
Aaron Keefe (01:09): "Oh, of course. I know. But, you know, it's because you've been burned before."

The tension escalates as Adal suggests the possibility of prosthetics, leading to humorous banter about familiar faces and hidden identities. The interaction culminates when John Patrick Cohen reveals his distinctive ears, a trademark feature that adds a layer of camaraderie and inside humor among the hosts.

2. Clue Crew Patreon Insights (02:38 - 05:20)

Transitioning from the magic antics, the hosts delve into an update about their Clue Crew, their Patreon-exclusive segment. John Patrick Cohen underscores the importance of supporting directly through the Patreon website to avoid Apple's additional fees:

John Patrick Cohen (03:13): "If you're a subscriber to the Clue Crew, which is our Patreon feed, patreon.com/favoritenovernal bonus episodes every week. It's $5 a month."

Adal humorously misinterprets "Apple the app" as part of a musical group, adding to the light-hearted discussion about subscription methods and platform preferences.

3. Minor Inconveniences and Monetary Mishaps (05:20 - 10:27)

The conversation shifts to personal stories about spending money on minor inconveniences. John shares his experience of investing $500 in a new Wi-Fi mesh system to eliminate dead spots in his home:

John Patrick Cohen (07:34): "I bought a brand new house. Cause I was like, this one's trash. I actually had the old one demolished and I paid a guy to burn it down."

Aaron relates by mentioning his reluctance to purchase multiple charging cables, emphasizing the lengths they go to for everyday conveniences.

Aaron Keefe (08:00): "I was gonna say welcome to the club."

These anecdotes highlight the hosts' relatable struggles with modern-day nuisances and their unique solutions to overcome them.

4. Only Connects: Riddle Round (11:17 - 16:45)

John introduces the "Only Connects" segment, a riddle-solving game that challenges both the hosts and listeners. They tackle a series of riddles, blending pop culture references with clever wordplay.

First Riddle Example:

John Patrick Cohen (13:04): "Tony, Falcon and Star Lord all use..."

Adol Refai (13:16): "Rocket boots."

John Patrick Cohen (16:41): "These all contain a J, a P, C."

The answer reveals that "JPC" (John Patrick Cohen) ties the clues together, showcasing the playful and self-referential humor of the podcast.

5. Scene Court Shenanigans (16:57 - 38:52)

In a departure from structured riddles, the hosts engage in an improvisational segment dubbed "Scene Court." Adal assumes the role of judge, while Aaron and John act out humorous courtroom scenarios. The improvisation revolves around issues like soundboard usage and the challenges of maintaining comedic integrity without technological aids.

Adol Refai (27:25): "Everyone calm down. Calm down. We seem to have a grievance here filed by one Aaron Keefe."

This segment highlights the hosts' improvisational prowess, blending scripted humor with spontaneous dialogue to entertain listeners.

6. Live Show Announcements and Promotions (38:45 - 48:35)

The hosts pivot to discuss upcoming live shows, announcing their "Across the Riddleverse Tour." They reveal plans to perform in multiple cities across the United States, inviting fans to join them in cities like Chicago, Minneapolis, Portland, and more.

John Patrick Cohen (67:46): "We're going across all the United States of America."

Adal teases special guests, including animated characters and fellow podcasters, adding excitement to the tour's promotional agenda.

7. Word Games and Final Riddles (45:00 - 63:45)

Back in the realm of puzzles, the hosts dive into word games, presenting and solving intricate clues that blend phrases with portmanteaus. Despite some playful struggles, especially from Aaron, the segment remains a testament to their intellectual chemistry and comedic timing.

Example Riddle:

D (46:20): "If you had to recast, remake a movie with Muppets, but one actor is human..."

Adol Refai (57:27): "Passion of the Christ. All Muppets. But Gibson still directs."

These challenges not only engage the hosts but also encourage listeners to participate actively in the riddle-solving process.

8. Closing Remarks and Final Plugs (63:45 - 72:17)

As the episode draws to a close, the hosts recapitulate the day's antics, share listener reviews, and reiterate their promotional plugs for Patreon and upcoming live shows. They maintain their signature humor and camaraderie, ensuring listeners are left with a sense of community and anticipation for future episodes.

John Patrick Cohen (70:08): "We're a big word turd. Word turds."

Their final nod to listener engagement underscores the interactive nature of "Hey Riddle Riddle," fostering a loyal and participatory audience base.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Adol Refai (00:59): "I don't think so unless you're wearing some sort of prosthetics."
• John Patrick Cohen (03:13): "If you're a subscriber to the Clue Crew,..."
• John Patrick Cohen (07:34): "I bought a brand new house..."
• Adol Refai (13:16): "Rocket boots."
• Adol Refai (27:25): "Everyone calm down..."
• John Patrick Cohen (67:46): "We're going across all the United States of America."
• John Patrick Cohen (70:08): "We're a big word turd. Word turds."

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This episode of Hey Riddle Riddle encapsulates the trio's dynamic interplay between structured riddles and spontaneous improvisational comedy. From tackling everyday inconveniences to engaging in elaborate word games and scene improvisations, Adal, Erin, and John deliver an entertaining blend of humor, intellect, and camaraderie. Whether you're a long-time listener or new to the show, episode #354 offers a delightful glimpse into their creative process and infectious energy.

Transcript

[Aaron Keefe]

This is a Headgum podcast.

[John Patrick Cohen]

With new McValue at McDonald's, you get more than you expect for breakfast. Like buy a sausage burrito and add a sausage McMuffin for a dollar. Get more than you expect with new MCvalue at McDonald's. Prices and participation may vary. Ballot for item of equal or lesser value. The doctor was the mother. He stood on a block of ice. Both of them were goldfish. It was the cannon of an airpl. Excuse me, sir, ma'am. I've never met the two of you before. Is that correct?

[Adol Refai]

Yes, I don't think so unless you're wearing some sort of prosthetics.

[Aaron Keefe]

We've never met before.

[Adol Refai]

Well, honey, I'm just saying he could be wearing, like, a fake.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, of course. I know. But, you know, it's because you've been burned before. This has happened to you a lot. That doesn't mean everyone's wearing prosthetics.

[Adol Refai]

You know, I feel like it was so traumatizing to not know that was my mom.

[Aaron Keefe]

I know.

[Adol Refai]

On the street, I punched her, but.

[Aaron Keefe]

We'Re in the middle of a magic show, right?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Let me ask you a question.

[Adol Refai]

Okay, yeah, you're right. You're right.

[John Patrick Cohen]

What was triggering for you in a traumatic way? Was it the fact that it was your mom? Or was it just the fact that you were being lied to vis a vis prosthetics?

[Aaron Keefe]

All right, honey, now I'm starting to think that maybe this is a person wearing.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I just need to know, because for most people. Everything's fine.

[Adol Refai]

Mom, if that's you, we buried you two months ago. I am going to be very upset.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Great news. So, great news. It's definitely not the mom one. Not to pooch. What? It is.

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay, great. Then just keep doing your trick.

[Adol Refai]

Well, that's what mom would say, Honey. That's what mom would say.

[Aaron Keefe]

All right, let's just.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Okay.

[Aaron Keefe]

Just do the trick. Just do the trick.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Let's have this happen. You two, sit down. Actually, why don't you two leave the show? Full refund. Cause.

[Aaron Keefe]

No, no. We want to see the trick. Do the trick.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I don't. I know that you think you want to see the trick right now, but when we get to the end of the trick, I think it might be the case where you wish you had left.

[Adol Refai]

It's prosthetics. It's prosthetics. Give me that.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Well, it's obviously prosthetics.

[Adol Refai]

Whoa, whoa. Honey, I ripped off the ears, and it's.

[Aaron Keefe]

Is that JPC from Hey, Riddle. Riddle Run.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Some of the most famous ears in the biz, baby. You can always tell a JPC by his ears. Hey, and what about JPC's peers? Adeline, Aaron. Welcome to the show, everybody. It's the crew, the Clue Crier. The Clue Crew is here.

[Aaron Keefe]

The Clue crew. We are 15 episodes into hay riddle. How do you think it's going so far, guys?

[John Patrick Cohen]

So nasty. And I'm glad we found this episode. This is jvc, the future talking. I'm glad we found this episode. I'm just putting it out context free.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, right. Oh, we're not at 3:54. We're at 15 right now at time of recording.

[John Patrick Cohen]

All right, speaking of the Clue Crew, look, I know we do plugs at the end, but I do want to mention something up top. So to the people that we might catch at the beginning of the episode before you, and I know this is probably 10 to 20% of people fall asleep to this episode, but while you're still awake in that area of drifting off to sleep, if you are a subscriber to the Clue Crew, which is our Patreon feed, patreon.com favoritenovernal bonus episodes every week. It's $5 a month. It's actually a great fucking fantastic deal. But it's only $5 a month, which means that if you subscribe with the Patreon app, you now pay Apple's additional surcharge, which means that you are paying like 35% more or something for our monthly subscription. So if that happens to be you don't do that. That is bad to give that money to Apple. We do not see that money. It may look like you're getting charged $8 for a $5 show, but we're not getting any more of that money. If you want to subscribe to the Patreon, go to the Patreon website, open a browser, do it on, like, a computer, but do the do it via the Patreon website. That's where you sign up, and then you won't get charged that additional fee every month. I have seen a lot of people recently. The one cool thing is Patreon now shows us who has signed up via the Apple app and lets me message them. But I don't want to be messaging people forever being like, hey, you made a mistake. And also, I think a lot of people don't check their Patreon messages, which is fine. I don't check my Patreon messages. But just so you know, when you're signing up, please do it the other way. We don't want. I don't want Apple to get more money. I don't feel uncomfortable saying that. Like, no, that's bad.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah.

[Adol Refai]

Isn't Apple app one of the black eyed peas?

[John Patrick Cohen]

That is a great question.

[Adol Refai]

Apple, Apple the app, Maybe. I feel like his name is Apple the app.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah. So if you're doing it via the app on your phone, the Patreon app on your phone, don't do it that way. Also, if you're listening to the podcast via the Patreon app on your phone, I gotta say, there are better ways to do it. We have an RSS feed that you can get with the podcast. You plug that into a podcatcher. Don't do it through the Patreon app. You lose a lot of features. It's. You don't have to do it that way. There is a better way that doesn't make as much money anyway. That's.

[Aaron Keefe]

Any other business people want to get out of the way.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, I actually did have. I had something that I wanted to ask the two of you about. This is no longer show business. This is back to inane bullshit, which is what kind of what we do best on the show.

[Aaron Keefe]

Best.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah. Well, you're right. The question that I had for the two of you, I had a situation that happened to me recently where I had a problem that I think is a relatively minor problem. I'm underplaying it because it was bigger than I thought it was. But what is the most amount of money that you have spent to fix to do something in your life that was a very minor inconvenience? Because I have a number, which I told Mariah. I was like, I think this is the most money I've ever spent to fix a minor inconvenience. And I couldn't think of another time. It's like one of those things where it's like, you know, paying for, like, a toll road, but you're like, ETA is like 10 minutes faster. You're like, I just want to be there 10 minutes faster. I will take a toll road because I just want to be there.

[Aaron Keefe]

I think I've probably done that before in terms of, like, anything that's over $200 ever. I want to claw my skin off rather than buy it. Like, it was so hard for me to buy a car because I was like, why, why? Why so much money? Please.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Too much.

[Aaron Keefe]

What? But jpc, I don't. I want you to answer, but what did you do?

[John Patrick Cohen]

You can. You can think of it. If you don't have Them. But just in, in. In my house, I had this like, old Google mesh WI fi thing that I'd had for a while that was kind of a piece of shit. But my house just has like, wifi dead spots, like all over it. And one of the places that is a WI fi dead spot, um, is if I am shitting in my downstairs bathroom, which is my want and something that I enjoy doing. But also I have no phone service there. I can't even like, text. So, like, if Mariah, like, texts me, like, hey, I need your help, I'll be like, I didn't. I didn't see it. I was doing one of mine.

[Aaron Keefe]

Convenient.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah, exactly, right? But I was like, okay, so I gotta fix these wi. And also the problem was like, more than just that, like, the WI fi wouldn't work. Like sometimes upstairs or the WI fi wouldn't. It would just go in and out. Or like, Mariah would be on a work call and her wifi would go out or some shit.

[Aaron Keefe]

So you bought a new house?

[John Patrick Cohen]

I bought a brand new house. Cause I was like, this one's trash. I actually had the old one demolished and I paid a guy to burn it down. Not even for the insurance money. Just he seemed to like what he did. And he had a fun website, so. But no, I bought like a new wifi mesh for the house and it was $500. And I was like, JBC, just so.

[Aaron Keefe]

You can watch a video of a dog catching a frisbee while you're going to the bathroom. Come on.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I don't even watch videos of dogs catching Frisbees because I don't have social media on my phone. So, like, I don't even use my. It's really just like if I. If I wasn't getting text messages sometimes in the house. But more really what it was was that, like, Mariah's Internet would go out when she was on her work call or some shit like that. Which I was like, okay, that seems like a problem. That's like, I solved my problem, which was the shitting problem for $500. But I also. Part of the 500 was like, Mariah, who has like a real job, if.

[Aaron Keefe]

It had just been the Mariah stuff, would you have spent that money? Be honest.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah, for sure. Because it's way easier for me to spend money on someone else than it is for me to spend money on myself. Like spending $500 on myself. I'm like, no way. I never would have done it. I never would have done it if it weren't for the. If. Honestly, if I have like a way to be like, oh, I don't want to buy this. It's too much money. And someone's like, oh, I think that you would look good in that shirt. I'd be like, well, thank God that's permission. I would have never done it, but that's permission for me.

[Aaron Keefe]

Adol, have you done that before?

[Adol Refai]

I'm trying to. I feel like maybe the thing most akin to what you're talking about is at some point I was like, fuck it. I'm gonna buy charging cables for like every room of the house kind of thing.

[John Patrick Cohen]

That's.

[Adol Refai]

Yes, because I got tired of like trying to find them or taking them from one room to the next. So I feel like there's a time where I sat down, I'm like, what is this gonna cost? It was a number that was just rough. I mean, relatively speaking. And I was like, I'm willing to pay this so I never have to search out another charging cable.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Adol, that is exactly what I was looking for. That is the perfect, like, knowing that you could just walk to another room and do it. But you're like, no, it is today. I. I will do this. I will. Now that's also very funny because, like, with especially because I have like an iPhone, I was like, oh, yeah, I have all these charging cables, but, you know, at least I won't have to buy charging cables anymore. And then iPhones now are like, no, now we use the same charging cables that everybody uses. We're sorry, we did that for forever. And I'm like, cool, what do I do with this Drawer full of shit will never be used anymore.

[Aaron Keefe]

That's actually brilliant because I have to move my charging cable from room to room and it. I guess that's not that hard because I have a very small apartment. But it is a. I was gonna.

[Adol Refai]

Say welcome to the club. And then it seemed like a bit of a backhanded goblin.

[Aaron Keefe]

No, no, no, but you have like a multiple. My house has like two rooms, so I'm just moving the charging cable like three feet.

[Adol Refai]

Aaron, buy. Invest in like a 18 foot cord.

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay, I'm listening. I get tangled in the cord. I call you.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I did buy Mariah a pair of sunglasses that is just for the car because she has like the same pair of sunglasses for her life. And then one pair. That's just for the car.

[Aaron Keefe]

I have like $1 cheap car sunglasses that I look like a crazy person in.

[Adol Refai]

They say 2017.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah, see, Aaron, that's not really the same, because that's, like, practical to be like, I'm going to have the worst $1 car sunglasses because they're. They only cost $1. The point of the exercise is that you, like, spent money on a thing that. Where you're like, wow, this was. This wasn't necessarily. I didn't need to do this, but it makes my life, like, maybe 1% more convenient. So it's like, hell, yeah.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, I'm going to try to think of one. I know I've done one. I'll keep it going in the back.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Of my brain, knowing what's about to happen in the rest of the episode. I shouldn't be springing other bonus questions on you guys that force you to think about stuff because there is the unfortunate other part of the podcast that we kind of have to get to where I kind of do that thing to you anyway.

[Adol Refai]

Plugs.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah, plugs. Let's talk about it. What are we watching? What do we like?

[Adol Refai]

Side effects. What else? What else? What else?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Now, you guys ready to do some riddles?

[Adol Refai]

Yeah.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, I am.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah. Okay. Rindles. Last week's episode, we had Tony Hell on the podcast.

[Aaron Keefe]

And incredible, by the way. That's crazy.

[John Patrick Cohen]

It's very fun. Just go listen to that episode. And we did some Only Connects. And it made me. It made me think, you know what? I like these Only Connects. I want to do a couple more Only Connects. So I have a few Only Connects for you guys today. My favorite, and they're Aaron's favorite. So if you. If you remember how Only Connects work. And for you listeners who don't or didn't listen last week or haven't listened to the podcast ever before. What the fuck is happening?

[Aaron Keefe]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I'm going to give you four different, like, prompts. Basically, you. Each one will have an answer to them, and all of the answers will also have something that ties them all together. So that's the premise of the Only Connects. So here is your. Here's your first one. Ready? And these, by the way, are they come to us from, I think Gin s in San Jose from seven years ago. Okay. Tony, Falcon and Star Lord all use.

[Adol Refai]

These to get around Tony Soprano.

[John Patrick Cohen]

No, I don't think so.

[Aaron Keefe]

Falcon shipped.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Okay.

[Adol Refai]

Tony, Falcon and Star Lord.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Star Lord from Guardians of the Galaxy. Falcon and Star Lord. I'll use these together.

[Adol Refai]

Rocket boots.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Not rocket boots.

[Aaron Keefe]

Friendship.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Not friendship.

[Aaron Keefe]

Legs.

[John Patrick Cohen]

It's not legs, but yeah, I guess they all have legs.

[Adol Refai]

Do they all have Groots?

[John Patrick Cohen]

They don't all have Groots. I actually don't. Dragonian Falcon. I have a Groot. I have a Groot, Fucker. Can you milk me? It's funny because Groot could mean nipples in that context because that's how his language works. Can I do the next one?

[Aaron Keefe]

Yep.

[John Patrick Cohen]

We'll come back to that if we need to. She carried the hit TV show Fornication in a Large Town.

[Adol Refai]

Sex and the City. Sex and the City. Sex and the City. Sex in the City.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Cherry Carrie.

[Adol Refai]

Sari Jessici Parky.

[Aaron Keefe]

Sari Jessici Parky.

[Adol Refai]

I panicked, Aaron.

[Aaron Keefe]

Hell, that's it. I would name. Okay, you guys. My next dog is Sari Jessici Parky.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Come here.

[Aaron Keefe]

Sari Jessiki Parkey.

[John Patrick Cohen]

It does sound like the name of a bird. Like Sarah Jessica Parakeet maybe is where I'm going with that. Sarah Jessica Parker is the correct answer for that one.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, we just got a comment on this episode. It said Erin Sari Jessake. Barkey was right there.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Perfect.

[Adol Refai]

Thank you so much.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, Barky. Oh yeah.

[John Patrick Cohen]

The presidents of the United States of America say that they come from a can, but I find them preserved in a jar of peaches.

[Adol Refai]

Peach juice.

[John Patrick Cohen]

A jar. Preserved in a jar of jelly.

[Adol Refai]

Jam.

[Aaron Keefe]

Jam, yes.

[John Patrick Cohen]

But specifically what kind of jelly or jam?

[Adol Refai]

Peach jam.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Gotcha. Okay, so you got that one. Sarah Jessica Parker Peach jam. Of all the things to hit, this is probably the best.

[Aaron Keefe]

Bullseye.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Very good. But it's not a bullseye.

[Adol Refai]

Target.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Not a target.

[Adol Refai]

All the things to hit.

[Aaron Keefe]

A racist with your car.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Well, that's good too. Hey, it's gotta feel great, huh? But no, it's not that.

[Adol Refai]

Of all the things to hit, this is probably the best.

[John Patrick Cohen]

This is probably the best for you. To hit. For you personally.

[Adol Refai]

Me personally?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Goals. No, like for an individual. Like it's like, Mm hmm.

[Aaron Keefe]

For any milestones. Goals.

[John Patrick Cohen]

It's not milestones or goals. We just talked about it on the review crew. But think Dave and Busters maybe for.

[Adol Refai]

This high school personal best, not high.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Score, but like, what's another. Another thing that you could hit in like a Dave and Busters context?

[Aaron Keefe]

A kid.

[Adol Refai]

Is it a kid?

[John Patrick Cohen]

It's the slap. It's NBC's the slap. ABC. It doesn't matter.

[Aaron Keefe]

Why does that show come up so much? It was once season like 10 years ago.

[John Patrick Cohen]

It's absolutely insane.

[Aaron Keefe]

So funny.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Zachary Quinto.

[Adol Refai]

Best thing for you to hit and it has to be Dave and Busters.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Not really Dave and Buster's. I'd say it's more like Casino. I would say Jackpot It's Jack.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, jackpot. So Sarah, Sari, Jessiki, Perkey.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Sari, Jessiki, Perkey.

[Adol Refai]

Jackpot.

[John Patrick Cohen]

And the preserves.

[Adol Refai]

1.

[John Patrick Cohen]

And then Tony, Falcon, and Star Lord all use these to get around jetpacks.

[Adol Refai]

It's jetpacks. Oh, These are all JP or PJs.

[Aaron Keefe]

JPCs.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yes, you both got there. It's 50% points for both of you. These all contain a J, a P.

[Aaron Keefe]

And a C. Oh, I love it.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yes. Thank you, Jenn S and San Jose, for making that seven years ago. I hope you're still listening. Okay, let's move on to another set of these. These are all coming from Jack.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'd actually like to see a scene. I'm so sorry. I'm trying to formulate how I want this scene to go in my head.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Okay.

[Aaron Keefe]

GPC. I want to see you as yourself. GPC. You're addressing a crowd that is all JPCs.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Mm. Okay, everybody settle down. Settle down, settle down, settle down.

[Adol Refai]

I'm barely 30. Why would I settle down? I should still be dating.

[John Patrick Cohen]

No, it's time. Honestly, jpc, it's time, but it's long past time. Okay, okay. I'm looking, scanning the crowd. It seems like. Hey. Okay, so we're all supposed to be wearing matching shoes. This whole kind of thing that we're about to do doesn't really work if we're not. It doesn't matter. Some of you obviously didn't read the email or kind of read the email and kind of chose to go a different way with it because you were sent the shoes. So I don't see why it was such a big deal to not.

[Adol Refai]

That email could have been a sextant.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Okay, let's see. Okay, well, it doesn't matter. It's almost time, so let's grab our little glasses of Kool Aid. Does everybody have their glass of Kool Aid?

[Aaron Keefe]

Do we give the horses that are here glasses of Kool Aid, too, or.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Horses should be in the parking lot. If you rode a horse here, you should just leave it in the parking lot. Okay, it seems like a good half of you don't have Kool Aid. Like, what do you. What you. You. Jpc. What are you drinking?

[Adol Refai]

Cousin's piss.

[John Patrick Cohen]

That was a cousin's piss. I knew it was gonna be cousin's piss. It's not actually cousin's piss, is it?

[Adol Refai]

Yes.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Okay, great. All right, well, it was supposed to be the Kool Aid because we kind of did something for the.

[Aaron Keefe]

I think we all have cousins piss. At least. My. My whole section we're talking over here, and we all have cousins. Piss.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Here's what we'll do. Why don't we all just drink whatever we've got? We'll see if we make it out of the meteor. Okay, we'll see if. We'll see if the meteor comes by. The cousin's piss gets us there. I don't think it will personally, but we'll give it a try.

[Aaron Keefe]

Hey, man. Yeah, Fuck you.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Okay, now we're talking. Okay, let's get down to business. Let's get down to business.

[Adol Refai]

If JPC ran Heaven's Gate, is that the name of that cult?

[John Patrick Cohen]

I think so. And I think I'd also. David Koresh. I think I'd be doing David Carradine. It doesn't matter. I'd be doing a service if I kind of mass eliminated all of the JPCs in kind of one felt blow. But also, we don't know that they didn't make it onto that comet, right?

[Aaron Keefe]

We don't know.

[John Patrick Cohen]

We don't know. Seems like a pretty good deal for me to escape kind of what's going on down here, and get to a comet, not telling anyone to do anything. But I'm just saying, if you have.

[Aaron Keefe]

The opportunity to have a comet.

[John Patrick Cohen]

You're right.

[Adol Refai]

I feel like it almost is like a symbiote Venom situation, where even if the tiniest little ounce of JPC gets on a meteor and it goes to another planet, then that planet's fucked.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, yeah. For sure.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah.

[Aaron Keefe]

If you have any dose of jpc, you could die. No offense.

[John Patrick Cohen]

No ticking. Oh, no ticking. Aaron.

[Aaron Keefe]

I really just heard myself for a second. Yikes. Sorry, everybody.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, sorry. A, have you guys seen the Venom movies? And B, did you see the Last Dance?

[Adol Refai]

I saw the first two Venom movies. I, at some point, will watch Last Dance.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, I've seen it.

[John Patrick Cohen]

You saw the Last Dance and you saw all the Venom movies? I liked the first two Venom movies a lot. I thought Tom Hardy and the Venom movies were great. And then I watched the Last Dance the other day, and I was like, oh, boy. It just felt more like Kraven the Hunter and Madame Web than the other Venom movies, which seemed like they were having fun and being kind of funny.

[Adol Refai]

That sucks.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah, it wasn't my favorite. But the thing about those Venom movies that I love is I love that Tom Hardy has done two different superhero movies where he's taken these big wild swings with the voices. To me, that is like, thank you so much, Tom Hardy, for putting that just into the universe, taking A risk. Well, because you got the cool Venom voice, which is like, I am going to eat your brains. And you got the Bane voice. And we can't really do the Bane voice too many more times on this show because we all know what the Bane voice is.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, we all know it by heart.

[Adol Refai]

He's such a good actor, being sincere. He's one of my favorite actors, and I feel like it's as if he approaches it the same way. If you had approached Daniel Day Lewis to play Doctor Strange, he would do a Bill the Butcher voice. You know what I'm saying? He approaches any role, I think the same way, regardless of what the content is, which is like, I'm gonna have, you know, I'm gonna do some study. I'm gonna take some big swings and risks, and I'm gonna make this something three dimensional. So, yeah, I very much appreciate the choices he makes.

[Aaron Keefe]

Not to be a over here, but he was one of my favorite actors, too, until Charlize Theron did that interview about working with him on Mad Max. Seems like a fucking nightmare to work with. She had just had a kid, and he would show up three and a half hours late to set and be mad at her. He does not sound like a good guy, but he's a good actor.

[John Patrick Cohen]

So I do think that, yeah, the. There. There is something to, like, the. And it's that method thing too, of like, hey, yeah, sometimes really great actors are like, absolute nightmares to work with. And I'm like, yeah, you got to remember that you still have to work.

[Adol Refai]

With people too, right?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah.

[Adol Refai]

Day Lewis on the set of Lincoln, where Spielberg would be on his phone and they. Lewis would be like, what is this?

[Aaron Keefe]

I'd be like, walk away from me, man.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Hey, man, I'm Steven Spielberg. You know, I don't need to do this shit, right?

[Adol Refai]

Like, I guess I'm not baby.

[Aaron Keefe]

To feed their families. What are we fucking?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah. That to me, is wild. Okay, here's your next. Here's your next. Riddles. More. Some more Only connects. These ones come from Jack, who says, love the show. Love you, Jack. The World 1804. And I'll pause if you guys want to, like, throw out.

[Adol Refai]

That was two separate ones.

[John Patrick Cohen]

No, no, no. This is one thing.

[Aaron Keefe]

The World 1804.

[John Patrick Cohen]

The World 1804. Facebook, 2012. Africa, 2009. China, 1982. What Do we think?

[Adol Refai]

These are all places in the world and years when one of us was born. I was born in 1804.

[Aaron Keefe]

No, is it like, ooh, I already like this one.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Is it this one's good.

[Aaron Keefe]

Like an announcement of something.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Is it an announcement of something or.

[Aaron Keefe]

Like a new technology or new word being introduced or something?

[John Patrick Cohen]

That's fun. No, it's not a word or a technology, and it's not really an announcement. I would say milestone is probably the right word.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, billion.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Aaron, you're right on the money with billionaire. So this is all places and times when the population reached 1 billion. The world in 1804, Facebook in 2012, Africa in 2009, and China in 1982, where their population, or I guess when Facebook users reached a billion.

[Aaron Keefe]

Incredible.

[Adol Refai]

Nice one, Aaron.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah. Here's your next one. Be found in emerald as a poison. He has a chipmunk voice. Oh, they need to breathe.

[Aaron Keefe]

Can you do it again?

[Adol Refai]

Huh?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yes. Bee found in emerald as a poison. He has a chipmunk voice. O they need to breathe.

[Adol Refai]

So, O oxygen. Chipmunk voice would be helium.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Mm.

[Aaron Keefe]

Well, these are all gases. Emerald, not gases. What is the right column?

[John Patrick Cohen]

B Found in emerald as a poison. Oh, you're so close to it. You guys have it.

[Adol Refai]

Arsenic as a poison. B. Barrow Mean. I don't know. Bane. Is bane an emerald?

[John Patrick Cohen]

You basically have it, okay. Because you figured out the formula, but the first two letters are the chemical element, and then the next part is a short description of that chemical element.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, cool.

[John Patrick Cohen]

So, bbe, I don't know what that is. That Beryllium. I don't know what that is. Found in emerald as a poison. Arsenic. A poison. He has a chipmunk voice. Helium makes your voice a chipmunk voice. And O they need to breathe is oxygen.

[Aaron Keefe]

I love it.

[Adol Refai]

I do want to see a scene. Aaron and jpc, you are Alvin and Simon. You are at Theodore's funeral and you're trying to be respectful and sad, but also your voices are so sort of high and funny that you can't help but, like, have a good time.

[Aaron Keefe]

Great. How do you measure your life? Is it in laughs? Is it in mischief? Is it being a part of a song that includes your name? Sorry, is there some. I just don't think I can fucking. I just don't think I can fucking do this right now. I just don't think I can fucking do this right now. Hey. Hey. Hey.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Hey.

[Aaron Keefe]

Come here. Come here. Oh, God. Hey, this isn't. Why are people laughing? Hey. He's really sad. I don't know why people are laughing. Leave Alvin alone. Why do you sound like that? Why do you sound that.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Why don't you sound normal?

[Aaron Keefe]

I thought Casey could maybe add Something to my face and post. No, he can't and he shan't. No, come on. I don't have access to the toys. You had. No. Hold on. Did you hear that whistle? There has been an issue on the field here at. Hey, Riddle, Riddle. Do we need to go to Riddle Court, or can we settle this on the field?

[John Patrick Cohen]

No, settle this on the. This is not appropriate for Riddle Court.

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay, fine.

[Adol Refai]

I think this is scene court.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah, this is scene court. Let's go to scene court.

[Aaron Keefe]

I want to go to scene court.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Great. Let's go to scene court.

[Aaron Keefe]

All rise for Judge Erin.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Wait a second. I'm the bailiff.

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay, then. Then announce Judge Aaron Peace.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, so you get to be the judge?

[Aaron Keefe]

Yes.

[Adol Refai]

Is his voice getting higher?

[Aaron Keefe]

And you know what? Adol. You weren't in the scene. Adol. You get to be the judge.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, okay.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Order, order.

[Adol Refai]

Everyone calm down. Calm down. We seem to have a grievance here filed by one Aaron Keefe.

[Aaron Keefe]

Thank you.

[Adol Refai]

Okay, Aaron, why don't you step in front of the juror and do one comedic and one dramatic.

[Aaron Keefe]

Myron Keefe here. Are my hands willing to shave?

[Adol Refai]

Yes. Also tell us where your hands are.

[Aaron Keefe]

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. And chipmunks. And chipmunks.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah, sorry, you can't see them, but there's 12 angry chipmunks under the.

[Aaron Keefe]

I get it. I get it.

[Adol Refai]

Okay, cool.

[John Patrick Cohen]

We're not angry. Most of us are horny, if that's what you mean.

[Aaron Keefe]

If you on an episode of hey, Riddle, Riddle.

[John Patrick Cohen]

If you.

[Aaron Keefe]

No, that's not. Come on, man.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Come on, man. She's telling me to fuck myself and I'm not allowed to talk. I'll allow it.

[D]

I'll allow it.

[Aaron Keefe]

If you use. If you want to call me enhancement drugs on hey, Riddle, Riddle. That is your prerogative. You cannot make the scene that you're in about having said performance enhancement drugs. That is bad improv. Use the drugs. And if someone adds. It chooses to add a drug of their choice to post, that is their business. Stay the course. Yes. And the scene. And don't make it meta a meta pile of bullshit that I don't have a soundboard. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, that is a sound.

[Adol Refai]

Aaron, please. Gavel, gavel, gavel.

[Aaron Keefe]

Aaron, please.

[Adol Refai]

Aaron, please.

[Aaron Keefe]

I don't even know how I would even begin to download a soundboard. Fuck you. Fuck.

[Adol Refai]

Aaron.

[D]

I'm gonna throw.

[Adol Refai]

I'm throw the book at you. I'm throwing the book at you.

[Aaron Keefe]

That's somebody doing the meta bullshit that I was just Talking about Aaron Born being able to do technology.

[Adol Refai]

I'm have to hold you in contempt.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Hey, hey.

[Aaron Keefe]

He is doing it against me. I'm going. This is gonna have to be a thing where I take this scene to another riddle scene. I'm getting too emotional. I need to calm down.

[Adol Refai]

His voice keeps getting higher.

[Aaron Keefe]

I had motion smoothing on my TV for years without realizing it. I don't know how to whatever. Whatever vote in the comments. I'm saying not everyone has access to the same technology that others do. And I think it is not fair to make a scene about how you have a soundboard. And now you know what I'm gonna have to fucking do this week? Bother Casey and have Casey hop on the horn with me so I can download a soundboard and become a menace to society. And then we're just three fuckers with soundboards.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Hey, I love it, man. I'm all for it. What if a Batman movie was just three jokers? Why not? They never tried it before.

[Adol Refai]

Yes, Aaron, how about this?

[Aaron Keefe]

Yes.

[Adol Refai]

Because I've asked JPC for his soundboard program before. We all download it and then we do a Patreon where it's entitled three Fuckers with Soundboard. We get it all out there, Aaron. We get it all out there that way when we do scenes in Hair the riddle, it's used like, you know, saffron, not salt.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah, because there's no reason to bring the soundboard into the main feed. It's just like, we don't need to do it. We shouldn't do it. It's bad to do. Let's not do it anymore.

[Aaron Keefe]

He's about to covered income. Okay, okay, okay. You guys, you guys, I think we need to introduce being fined for doing things financial consequence for doing a bad job on this show.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, we should be fined for, like, antisocial behavior.

[Aaron Keefe]

I've peed on a waiter before.

[John Patrick Cohen]

You guys. The kind of thing that you say.

[Aaron Keefe]

Can I tell you this is trippy because that feels like AI. When did I say that?

[John Patrick Cohen]

I don't know. I don't know, Aaron. I don't know.

[Aaron Keefe]

If you guys want the show to be complete chaos with. I just feel like JPC should be fined $5 for what he did in that scene. Adel, you're the judge. Is up to you top a renegade goat boy.

[Adol Refai]

What? Aaron, if I find him, I have to find you for what you just said.

[John Patrick Cohen]

All right, we have to move on. Here's your next riddle. Okay.

[Adol Refai]

Clip that, Casey.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Clip that, Herbert88.

[Adol Refai]

These are all love Bugs.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Wow.

[Adol Refai]

And they're jersey numbers.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Jefferson, 92, Walker, 0.

[Adol Refai]

So, Herbert Hoover, Thomas Jefferson, Paul Walker.

[Aaron Keefe]

Can you read them again?

[Adol Refai]

These are all the most handsome men alive.

[John Patrick Cohen]

88. Herbert, 88. Jefferson, 92, Walker, 0. Hussein, 8.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh. It's the last numbers of the year that they died.

[John Patrick Cohen]

It's the last numbers of the year that they died.

[Aaron Keefe]

No. Or born. Or born.

[John Patrick Cohen]

No, no, we're born. No, no, neither one.

[Aaron Keefe]

Gotta be saying, and who.

[John Patrick Cohen]

And who, Who? Are we talking about leaders? No. Well, yes, we are talking about leaders, but more specifically, middle names, Aaron. Middle names of presidents. Presidents.

[Adol Refai]

Barack Obama, Hussein Obama.

[Aaron Keefe]

And when they took office.

[D]

Yes.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Herbert, 88, Jefferson, 92, Walker, 0, Hussein, 8. Middle names of presidents and the year they were elected. Yes.

[Adol Refai]

Walker, Justice. Ranger, Bush.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Your next one.

[Adol Refai]

That was a good one.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah, I like that one. A hammer and a feather.

[Adol Refai]

Mm.

[John Patrick Cohen]

A hammer and a feather.

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay.

[Adol Refai]

Six US Flags, five golden rings.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Two golf balls. Eugene Shoemaker's shoes.

[Adol Refai]

That's a real curveball, isn't there?

[John Patrick Cohen]

I know, right?

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, God. I don't know.

[Adol Refai]

I'd not be more specific if you.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Know who Eugene Shoemaker is. I'm. I gotta assume that I don't either, but I gotta assume that. That's like a really good clue if you know who that is. But.

[Adol Refai]

Well, I mean, in context. This is the guy who created shoes.

[John Patrick Cohen]

No. I don't know. I don't think he. No.

[Adol Refai]

Eugene Shoemaker's shoes. Two golf balls, a hammer and a feather. What was the other one? Uh, these are all things that weigh one pound.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Six US Flags.

[Adol Refai]

Six US Flags. These are all things found inside the.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Belly of a whale.

[Aaron Keefe]

No, they're not the amount of stars.

[John Patrick Cohen]

They're not the amount of stars.

[Adol Refai]

These are all things that you hit into water.

[John Patrick Cohen]

It's not things you hit into water. Hammer and a feather. Six US Flags, two golf balls. Eugene Shoemaker shoes. I think I'll say all of these have a location in common.

[Adol Refai]

Sand trap.

[John Patrick Cohen]

It's not a sand trap Pole.

[Adol Refai]

It's not a poll coin. They're all on coins. They're all on.

[John Patrick Cohen]

No, they're all. I would like. What. What denomination of coins is two golf balls?

[Adol Refai]

That's what I call quarters. The hammer and the feather.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Don't you leave a quarter on the green when you're, like, picking up a golf ball?

[Adol Refai]

Yeah, you do.

[John Patrick Cohen]

That makes sense. Okay.

[Adol Refai]

Okay. Hammer or feather you use just in case there's a alligator that's going to.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Come out of the. It has nothing to do with.

[Aaron Keefe]

They're on A flag.

[John Patrick Cohen]

They're not on a flag. They're not on a golf course. A hammer and a feather, six US Flags, two golf balls, and Eugene Shoemaker's shoes. They're all in the same place.

[Adol Refai]

The Smithsonian.

[John Patrick Cohen]

It's not the Smithsonian.

[Adol Refai]

This is a place that I would.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Say it's not a museum, but this place gets almost no visitors. Like, it's. Nobody goes here. The moon.

[Aaron Keefe]

The moon. The moon.

[John Patrick Cohen]

The moon.

[Aaron Keefe]

Of course. The moon.

[Adol Refai]

The moon.

[John Patrick Cohen]

It's the moon. I do want to see a quick scene. Aaron and Adol, you are both going to be astronauts on the moon. Adol, you are taking your duty very seriously. And, Aaron, you're trying to leave a bunch of other shit on the moon just so you can say that there's this stuff on the moon.

[Aaron Keefe]

Great.

[Adol Refai]

All right, we have the flag. We'll plant that right there next to the others. Just to sort of.

[Aaron Keefe]

Don't look over here.

[Adol Refai]

Huh?

[Aaron Keefe]

Don't look over here. I'm pissing, Sullivan. What?

[Adol Refai]

If you're pissing, you're pissing in your suit. We all piss on her. I'm pissing right now. I can see your genitals.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, wait. If I take my dick. Go. Will it explode?

[Adol Refai]

Let's not test it. Let's not test it.

[Aaron Keefe]

Don't clip it. Don't clip it. No, I just. Am gonna. Just look away. I'm just gonna pee on.

[Adol Refai]

Is that your penis?

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm gonna pee on the moon.

[Adol Refai]

Wait.

[Aaron Keefe]

Whoa.

[Adol Refai]

What was that big. What's that big sack? Sullivan, you're not pulling a Santa again, are you?

[Aaron Keefe]

No, no, no, no. I'm just. Hey, man, everyone wants to have a legacy. And I said, why not have mine? Be funny, Sullivan.

[Adol Refai]

Last time we were on the moon, you did several things that got us both in trouble. You did sort of a Hollywood Walk of Fame, handprints, and then your signature.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yes. Okay.

[Adol Refai]

You brought a oversized sort of cracker barrel carpet. Game of checkers?

[Aaron Keefe]

Sure. Yeah. This time I have serious stuff. Like six DVD copies of Pale a day. Good night.

[Adol Refai]

Why six?

[Aaron Keefe]

A bagel with cream cheese. Come on.

[Adol Refai]

You know what, man?

[Aaron Keefe]

Forget it. Astronauts are not allowed to have fun anymore. You're right. Let's collect some rocks for science and then go back to Earth.

[Adol Refai]

Is this that you lost or are people paying you to. What's going on here? Like, I could understand if it was like, your mother's ashes or something, but this just doesn't make sense.

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay? There are certain kinds of perverts on the Internet that are willing to spend a Certain amount of money.

[Adol Refai]

Okay.

[Aaron Keefe]

To make a certain thing happen. And who am I to dash a pervert dream?

[Adol Refai]

Sullivan, say that I will help you. What do you got? What's in the bag?

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, let's start pulling some of this stuff out.

[Adol Refai]

Start pulling some of this stuff out. Okay. We gotta slip inside. Do not use that. You will. You will slide forever.

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay.

[Adol Refai]

You'll never stop sliding.

[Aaron Keefe]

Well, I thought be like gravity. Mm. Here is a body. Barefoot wife.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Hey, I got the moon rocks ready to. Ready to go.

[Aaron Keefe]

Hey, we're gonna need a couple more minutes. The rocks on this side are. Fuck.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Why do you sound like that? Are you not wearing your helmet?

[Adol Refai]

Aaron.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Aaron.

[Adol Refai]

Aaron. Pecking a scene.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Aaron, Is this fun? Is this fun for you?

[Adol Refai]

Aaron, get back in the scene. Aaron. Aaron, get back in the scene, please.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Aaron. I have a voice mod called Spaceman Luke. I am Darth Vader.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm not trying to compare our show to art, but I literally just had a moment where, say, haver the riddle is a painting. And I'm in the painting. I just was in the painting and I went, what if I just sort of stepped outside of the painting and I became an observer of the painting and then what if I walked away from the painting?

[Adol Refai]

The face color effect.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yes.

[Adol Refai]

Well, Aaron, would it help if we took a little break?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Let's take a break, Aaron.

[Aaron Keefe]

Huh? I don't think so this time. I think this time a break can't fix this.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Hey, let's try. Let's try. Let's take a quick break and see if maybe it all gets fixed.

[Aaron Keefe]

Jpc, I just got a text from your wife and it said, can you make sure JPC remembers to get me a Mother's Day gift this year? I want something that is sentimental and sweet. He's never gotten me a gift before for any holiday.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Aaron, that's a trick question. The wife can't be the mother because the doctor.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, this isn't a riddle. Your wife is asking me to ask you to get her an aura frame.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah, I'll get this gpc. I would highly recommend aura frames. I've gotten one for my mom before and she absolutely loves it. I've gotten one for my sister. I've gotten one for Gemma's mom. My mother in law. Aura Frames was named the best digital photo frame by Wirecutter and it's easy to see why. There's unlimited storage so you can add as many photos, videos, and funny memes as you can find. And it's so simple to set up. How simple is this setup, just how.

[Aaron Keefe]

Simple is it to set up?

[Adol Refai]

Just plug it in and share away. And one of the best things is that if you get it as a gift for someone else, you can add photos to their frame. Right. If they give you access, it's so fun to just like put in a surprising photo.

[Aaron Keefe]

Like, I'm going to get your wife a frame from Beverly Shubadoo of all of the great times we've had together.

[John Patrick Cohen]

No. A wife can be a mother. I'm thinking too hard about this because a wife and a mother could be the same person.

[Aaron Keefe]

Jbc, listen up. Or a frame has a great deal for Mother's Day. For a limited time, listeners can save on the perfect gift by visiting auraframes.com to get $35 off plus free shipping on their best selling Carver mat frame. That's Aura A U R A frames.com promo code riddle. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply.

[John Patrick Cohen]

And it's the perfect deal for. And let's see if I got this right. If you are your own grandmother.

[Aaron Keefe]

Gpc. Your wife says that you're in the thinnest of ice. And Beverly Hoopadoo is waiting in the wings.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Ice? It's May Mother's Day. Oh, no. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp.

[Aaron Keefe]

I say better, you say help. I say better, and you say Aaron.

[Adol Refai]

Help.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, sorry, Aaron. Hey, sorry, Adolf. He felt unawell.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Emotionally.

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay. You gotta be careful how you word things.

[Adol Refai]

I broke my emotional ankles.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, well. Adel, have you tried BetterHelp?

[Adol Refai]

Oh.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, yeah. Adel. BetterHelp.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah.

[Aaron Keefe]

It's online therapy. With over 30,000 therapists, BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform, having served over 5 million people globally.

[Adol Refai]

Wait, BetterHelp? Yes. It's convenient too. You can do it from the bottom of a well. You can join a session with a click of a button, helping you fit therapy into your busy life. Or if you're well plus, you can switch therapists at any time.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah. And if your emotional well. Let's see if I can land this plane. If your emotional well is full, then you might want to use therapy as a way to kind of talk through some of those issues. Sometimes it can be helpful just to talk things out, to hear yourself saying them. Therapy is not about solving specific problems, but it's about giving you tools so that you can kind of help solve your own issues as you go into the future.

[Adol Refai]

Wow. Life is a well is what you're saying.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah.

[John Patrick Cohen]

And your well being is worth it. Wow, we landed it.

[Aaron Keefe]

You're welcome.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yes.

[Adol Refai]

Well, well, well.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Okay, we're landing it. Too much. Does that make sense?

[Aaron Keefe]

This kind of therapy has worked really well for me in the past. I like being able to message my counselor and have them get back to me with a timely response rather than having to like wait all week to talk to them. I love it. And if you've taken a long break from therapy or have you never tried it before, why not now?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Your well being is worth it. Visit betterhelp.com Riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp.

[Adol Refai]

H-E-L-P.com Riddle can you guys throw down an emotional rope?

[Aaron Keefe]

No, we're very far away.

[Adol Refai]

Okay, bye, guys.

[John Patrick Cohen]

All right, guys. Well, I know that, you know, we're coming off the heels of my Personal favorite holiday 4:20. Nice. So I, I got you guys some doobie dooby doos and I thought we could smoke em on the Popcast.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, hell yeah. Let me blaze this up.

[John Patrick Cohen]

All right, now you're gonna notice that it's a little bit different than maybe a joint that you've smoked previously.

[Aaron Keefe]

Wait, is this a person?

[Adol Refai]

Is this. There's like sand in this. Is this Sandy? Oh, smoking.

[D]

Sandy, please don't smoke me. That's against the terms and regulations.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, my guy ripped me off. What's up, Sandy?

[D]

Yeah, it's a common complaint that I get. People try to smoke me and then they realize I'm a human being. But there's a lot of me to go around, especially with this beer. Just pluck off a hair and you can smoke it.

[Aaron Keefe]

Don't mind if I do.

[Adol Refai]

Who knows what very bitter.

[D]

Who knows what it meant?

[Adol Refai]

Is it.

[D]

Do they smoke beards in the Bible?

[Adol Refai]

I've never read it. I assume, I assume, I assume beard. If there's some sort of like Google for Bibles, I assume the word beard is in there 4,000 times.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah. You know, if they do smoke beard in the Bible, please email Sandy, let him know you can find him on social media. It's something not fun or something.

[D]

No, you can't anymore. If you can smoke beard, then I've got a new hobby.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Hi.

[D]

Hi, guys.

[Aaron Keefe]

Hi.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Hello, Sandy.

[Aaron Keefe]

Excited to have some high quality riddles on today's show.

[D]

I threw away. I threw away not only all my sports puzzles, but I threw away everything in my brain about sports. So we will never talk about that again.

[Aaron Keefe]

History will say I killed that game. That was a month ago. No one remembers I did so well last time you were here.

[D]

You're allowed to write it down if no one else can test it.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I found a little recycle bin in my brain and I just kind of dragged and dropped my whole desktop into that. And then. Boop. So basically everything's gone. I love that motor function too.

[Aaron Keefe]

Uh oh.

[John Patrick Cohen]

We like it real weird on this podcast.

[D]

Oh, no. Well, would you like something different? This is a word game.

[Adol Refai]

We love words.

[D]

Want some words? Yeah.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yes, please.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, yeah.

[John Patrick Cohen]

We're a big word word. We're big word word turds. Word turds.

[D]

Little turdy told you about the words I brought.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Told me that we're word turds.

[D]

Little word turd. For this turd of a game, I'm going to give you a sentence. And it contains both. A clue for both a phrase in the format of this and that, like A and B, X and Y. And it also clues a word that is formed by making a portmanteau out of those two words. So for example, if I said I saved my own family first when the dam broke. Your own family is your flesh and blood. And if you smash those two words together, you get flood. Varies what happens with the Dambrooks. Fuck did that happen? Oh, someone did read the Bible.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm just gonna let everyone know right now. I can't do this.

[D]

Sure you can.

[Adol Refai]

Aaron's like, briebrack sports, please.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, I know myself and I know my brain, and I don't have the right wires or parts of my brain. I actually don't even have the right parts of my brain to be able to explain why I can't do this.

[Adol Refai]

And Aaron, famously, last night, you cut the red wire, which was a lot in your brain. There's a lot of red wires.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, my brain still exploded. Can you believe it? Unbelievable.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Aaron's looking at a tough mudder course, and she's like, I'm willing to flop around in there, but it's not. I'm not going to be doing what everybody else is doing.

[Aaron Keefe]

We're not hop around like a fish on a dock.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I'll get muddy or take a picture or whatever, but I'm not doing all this.

[Aaron Keefe]

No, I'll try. I'm going to try.

[D]

Sandy, you'll be great. You'll be great. So we got the concept. Ready to move on?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yes, sir.

[D]

This movie about the famine is great, even though it's not in color.

[Adol Refai]

Okay. Black and white might be the term.

[D]

Correct.

[Adol Refai]

Okay.

[Aaron Keefe]

Blight.

[D]

So smash those two words. Blight. Blight, famine, black and white and blight. It's very famously about a famine.

[John Patrick Cohen]

A famine.

[D]

Number two.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Would that famine.

[Adol Refai]

Can I say Famine ties was one of the worst TV shows.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Would a thaeman be like, if there's, like, nothing. Are we experiencing a famine right now where there's, like, nothing good coming out of Hollywood except Aaron's Pixar show. Sorry, Aaron. But nothing else good coming out.

[D]

I thought you were gonna say that no one famous is good or no one good is famous anymore. Fame has.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Maybe it's not a fame in because it's not really about fame, but it is about how they're just, like, remaking movies from 20 years ago and that's the only movies.

[D]

My understanding was the promise that fame was gonna last forever. Isn't that what they said?

[Adol Refai]

That was the big cheer.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Fame.

[D]

You're gonna live forever. Yeah, that's right.

[Adol Refai]

Can you remember my name.

[D]

Clearly? It worked. All right, let's do another one. Pirates love a British pastry.

[Adol Refai]

Mmm.

[Aaron Keefe]

Pasta.

[Adol Refai]

Okay. Pirates love a British pastry.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Is it like tea and crumpets?

[D]

Nope. The British pastry is the word. Not this phrase.

[John Patrick Cohen]

It's not the phrase. Pirates is the phrase.

[D]

Pirates love.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Pirates love.

[D]

Pirates will get you the A and B phrase. The pastry is the word.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Okay.

[Aaron Keefe]

Pirates.

[John Patrick Cohen]

What's an A and B phrase? So does it always have an A and B?

[Adol Refai]

Skull and crossbones.

[D]

Keep going.

[Aaron Keefe]

Skull and bones.

[Adol Refai]

Croissants. Bones.

[Aaron Keefe]

Just matching skull and bones.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Hold on.

[Adol Refai]

Aaron. Aaron. Aaron. I'm working.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Okay.

[Aaron Keefe]

Sorry.

[Adol Refai]

Skull. Cross.

[D]

Scones is right. Although I guess technically they call them scons over there. But maybe the British.

[John Patrick Cohen]

What?

[D]

Maybe the British pirates also call it skull and cross bonds. I don't know.

[Adol Refai]

Excuse me. Yarn.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Do they really call it scones? They call scones scones. Do they?

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, shit.

[D]

I think so.

[Aaron Keefe]

Scon.

[D]

Yeah, I think so.

[John Patrick Cohen]

You definitely won't get in trouble. But I will. That's stupid. That's a whole ass nation full of morons. No, they don't get this here. They don't get this there. Right?

[Aaron Keefe]

They do. They. They do.

[John Patrick Cohen]

But it's translated. It's translated.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah. They call a cup of tea a cuppa.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Cuppa.

[Adol Refai]

What are we doing?

[Aaron Keefe]

They're having more fun than us. Let's not have fun on them.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Way more fun in a car. They call the boot panties. These guys are dumb.

[Adol Refai]

As our friend Ethan taught us, there's such cool British rhyming slang that we're behind the times.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah, that's right.

[D]

Oh, yeah. Rhyming slang is awesome. We should all make up our own rhyming slang because I don't believe that the intention of rhyming slang is for you to be. For it to be clear what you're saying.

[John Patrick Cohen]

So a future game, Sandy, you might be able to write that out.

[Adol Refai]

Cockney rhyme slang. The game.

[D]

I saw someone on a TV show give a cockney rhyming slang for shit. Now I can't find it for fanny. They were trying to say fanny, but fanny means boot.

[Adol Refai]

Something else there.

[D]

And they didn't want to say fanny, so they said something else as a cockney rhyming slang to get you to fanny. And now I can't even remember what the slang was, but it was funny because the word they weren't trying not to say is so tame. To us.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah. For us.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah.

[D]

All right. The kid presented her most cherished possession to her kindergarten class. A single oyster.

[Adol Refai]

Show and tell. Shell.

[Aaron Keefe]

Shell.

[D]

You got it. I fought fiercely to lose this guy who was following me.

[Adol Refai]

I fought fiercely.

[D]

I found it. Jack and Annie. Jack and Annie is slang for fanny.

[Adol Refai]

So Jack and Annie Pack is what you'd wear if you're a tourist.

[D]

That's right.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Actually, you know, more than just tourists wear. They're very convenient.

[Aaron Keefe]

Can you read that again?

[D]

I fought fiercely to lose this guy who was following me. So what do you call it when someone's following you?

[Aaron Keefe]

Chased tail.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I was gonna say, like shake a tail.

[Aaron Keefe]

Chase tail.

[D]

Tail is right. Now you have to think of a phrase that means fight fiercely. Or fiercely.

[Adol Refai]

Tooth and nail.

[D]

Tooth and nail to tail. When playing this piano duet, we got tripped up by a gap cut out of the sheet music console. Whole boom.

[Aaron Keefe]

Adel. We got that in unison.

[Adol Refai]

We just got a cease and desist from Courtney Love.

[D]

Wow, I thought you're going to say Hoagie Carmichael. No. My kid loves to eat noodles and study Baujas. Architects. Bauhaus. Bauhaus.

[Adol Refai]

Bauhaus. Blast Bajas. Blast Mountain Dew.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Mew Mew. Taco Bell. Taco Bell. Checking the app. Oh, yeah. We could order delivery. What was the question?

[D]

My kid loves to eat noodles and study Bauhaus. Architects.

[Adol Refai]

Mac and cheese.

[D]

Meese Mies. As in Mies van der Rohe.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, I was joking.

[D]

No, it's right, Adol.

[Aaron Keefe]

Just don't admit that. Just say that you knew it.

[Adol Refai]

I mean, yes. Brutalist.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Architecture. The brutalist.

[Adol Refai]

Adrian. Verdict.

[D]

The brutalist. Right? Yeah, yeah.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Whenever someone mentions architecture, guys, just say the Brutalist. Here's a little hint from old jpc. Just say, oh, the brutalist. You'll be fine.

[D]

My nagging spouse is always talking about taking Down. Batman.

[Adol Refai]

Ball and chain. Bane.

[Aaron Keefe]

Wow, you're not even. You're moving so fast.

[Adol Refai]

Here's a coupon for two free hugs. What do you mean, I'm a bad husband?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Wait.

[Aaron Keefe]

What do you mean, I'm a bad husband?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Wait.

[D]

Keep it going.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Bane is giving his spouse a coupon for two months.

[Aaron Keefe]

Give me a list of what to do, and I'll do it.

[John Patrick Cohen]

It's so funny that the. The prompt is ball and chain, but instead it's like, low rib, husband. Hey.

[Adol Refai]

Hey, honey. Two weeks ago, I did the dishes and you didn't say anything. Why didn't I get applause?

[Aaron Keefe]

What do we have this weekend? I was planning on golfing.

[Adol Refai]

We need a sitcom with Bane. Bane. It's basically. What's the. Who's the Kevin James. What's the Kevin James sitcom?

[Aaron Keefe]

King of Queens.

[Adol Refai]

King of Queens. We need one that's.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, he's like a hot wife that would never actually be with him in real life.

[Adol Refai]

Bane of my Bane or something. Yes. Just like supermodel wife.

[Aaron Keefe]

Bane's Bane.

[Adol Refai]

Bane's Bane.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Isn't it funny? Both of those movies are fine. The Dark Knight and the Dark Knight Rises. The Dark Knight's obviously the best one of them. But I think it's very funny that, like, universally, what we have taken from culture, from those things is that the Joker is very scary. It was a great performance at Tom Hardy's. Bane is, like, the number one thing people want to do cartoon impressions of for, like, it's. It's, like, not even close. Like, their relatability on, like, scary. You know, like, one of them is just not scary at all.

[D]

Would we call it that Sitcom Growing Banes?

[Adol Refai]

Yes.

[Aaron Keefe]

Wow. Wow.

[D]

We're gonna live forever.

[Adol Refai]

Say you remember my name, Brain Brain. I'm gonna live forever.

[D]

It always amuses me when I write a puzzle that has Batman in it. I immediately think that it's so close to Bateman. Like, Jason Bateman should play Batman at some point. And I'm not sure what else to do with it other than yes, for sure.

[John Patrick Cohen]

He missed his calling in the 2010s, when every movie had to have Jason Bateman in it because we lost a deal with the devil, apparently. But now Jason Bateman as Batman. That is the move.

[Adol Refai]

And it's a lot of him going up to the Joker and being like, hey, buddy. Hey, buddy. We're gonna go ahead and stop. Let's stop ruining the city. Okay.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah.

[Adol Refai]

Michael Cera's Robin.

[D]

Oh, my God.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Also just casting Jason Bateman now as Batman and Seeing what his physical transformation is like. Because everybody, the secret desire of all of these Hollywood people to play Batman is that they get to work with a trainer and get super jacked. And I would just love to see Big Bateman on the screen.

[Adol Refai]

Big Bateman.

[D]

Big Bateman.

[Adol Refai]

Keith never got jacked.

[John Patrick Cohen]

That's right. And Robert Pattinson really didn't really go that same route.

[Adol Refai]

He's a hot topic body.

[D]

There's a fun Trivial Pursuit card that was written a while ago that's like, which of these act. This is true. Which of these actors did never play Batman? And the list is like, Ben Affleck, Christian Bale. Yes, yes. Christian Bale. Adam West, Val Kilmer, George Clooney, Ben Affleck. Literally, all of them are correct because it was written before Ben Affleck. Improbably cast.

[John Patrick Cohen]

That's so funny. Wow. That is crazy for a trivia thing to be wrong, because it was just written before something like that happened.

[D]

Right. They were like, what is the most outlandish actor that we can think of to play Batman? Well, they didn't think Connor O'Malley.

[Aaron Keefe]

He would be so good.

[John Patrick Cohen]

There's no new ideas. It's just like, well, let's get another guy to play Batman. I guess that's what we're doing now.

[Adol Refai]

If you did Conor O'Malley as Batman, though, they'd immediately be like, bruce Wayne. That guy's so wholly unique. They're like, there's no way. That's not.

[John Patrick Cohen]

It's him. It's him. It's Bruce Wayne. It's that same guy.

[Aaron Keefe]

I take all my money for that, by the way.

[D]

Gunner O'Malley. I had to look up who this guy is. This is a deep cut.

[Adol Refai]

Watch his videos.

[Aaron Keefe]

He's fantastic.

[D]

Okay. All right, all right. Here's another one.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I'm not scared.

[D]

Oh, God.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Connor O'Malley as Batman and Joker. He's playing both of them in the same.

[Aaron Keefe]

He's playing everyone. It's a Batman where Connor O'Malley is everyone.

[Adol Refai]

And he's just locked in a room.

[John Patrick Cohen]

The clumps.

[D]

All right, I have to ask you guys, I'm sure you've thought about this. This is a prompt that I've seen other people answer. If you had to recast, if you could remake a movie entirely with Muppets, but one actor is human.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah.

[Aaron Keefe]

I think we did this, and we talked about it in the Bible. We want to see a Muppet Bible.

[D]

The Bible. The Bible movie.

[Aaron Keefe]

The Bible movie. Yep.

[Adol Refai]

I think Aaron's responsible. Aaron, I think, said Ghost in a shell and keep. Scarlett Johansson.

[D]

No, I think it's a ghost.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I think Adol said Passion of the Christ. All Muppets. But Gibson still directs.

[D]

He said, that's so good.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Ghost, Ghost.

[D]

Everyone's Muppets except for that guy on the train.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah.

[D]

Okay, I'm not. Here's another one. I'm not scared by snake sounds. In fact, it makes me want to snuggle with them.

[Adol Refai]

Hiss and hers.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Wow, that's so good. His and hers.

[D]

You're close. I mean hiss and hiss. Hiss is right.

[Adol Refai]

Hiss, hiss and piss.

[Aaron Keefe]

Hiss, hiss and piss.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Hiss is the answer when we need the phrase.

[D]

Yeah.

[Adol Refai]

Can you say the whole question one more time?

[D]

I'm not scared by snake sounds. In fact, it makes me want to snuggle them.

[Adol Refai]

Hug and kiss.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Hug and kisses. I've not gotten a single one of these. I'm sorry. Uniquely bad at these same.

[Aaron Keefe]

Adol is kicking her ass.

[D]

Let's see if we can break your streak. My favorite thing about this Dr. Seuss book is that the main character looks like my nana.

[Adol Refai]

Green eggs and ham. Graham. Graham's.

[Aaron Keefe]

What the fuck? I'm not even going to try anymore, Adel.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I can't even. My brain is trying to be like, okay, so which one is the phrase and which one is the answer? I can't even get that part before Adol gets it.

[Adol Refai]

And can I just say, I'm able to just. Almost like a bear catching salmon in a stream, I'm able to just put my claws in my brain and pull out an answer and I don't know what's happening.

[Aaron Keefe]

It's amazing.

[Adol Refai]

These are just speaking to the way my brain works.

[John Patrick Cohen]

God. That is how a bear does it.

[D]

The bears listening are like, dude, that takes a lot of practice.

[Adol Refai]

We actually really work with that. And that's reductive.

[D]

You're being reductive, boy. Here's a new one. Boy, communism really gets the hairs on my neck up. Okay, maybe just one hair.

[Adol Refai]

Hammer and sickle. Heckle.

[D]

No, it's hackle.

[Adol Refai]

But yeah, hackle.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Okay, hackle.

[D]

Hackle literally means the hair on the back of your neck, I think. All right. Wow. Trying to give you the tricky ones. My wife bumped into a car while driving and I told her, sweetie, you better get out of here.

[Adol Refai]

Hit and run, hun.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Ball and chain. Bane.

[Adol Refai]

Ball and chain.

[Aaron Keefe]

That's insane.

[Adol Refai]

What do you mean? Today's our anniversary.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Of course.

[Adol Refai]

I got you a gift.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Sandy just keeps putting ball and chain as, like, an answer to these. And we're like, everything okay, Sandy? Working through some stuff with your puzzles?

[D]

Yeah, I tested these on the ball and chain last night. And she's like, you never talk to me in your bane voice anymore.

[John Patrick Cohen]

You know what? My favorite? I guess it's vaguely misogynist. I actually don't know, but I think only ever heard it referred to in this term is battleaxe. When people are like, yeah, that old battleaxe. I'm like, that sounds so cool, but I think it's derogatory.

[Adol Refai]

I just picture Gimli holding up that woman and swinging her around.

[D]

Right when he said, and my axe. He was talking about his wife.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah, it's basically boraz. He's basically saying, my wife.

[D]

If someone calls an older woman a battle axe, it means she is very difficult and unpleasant because of her fierce and determined attitude.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Okay.

[Aaron Keefe]

That is my new goal. That is my ten year plan, is I want to be a battle axe. Check in on me in a decade, everybody.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I want to be a battle axe is so funny. Aaron, Is it okay then if I start referring to you as a battle axe?

[Aaron Keefe]

I would love it if you did.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Okay. Aaron Keefe. That's a battle ax you don't want to cross.

[Aaron Keefe]

Thank you. Thank you. I love that.

[John Patrick Cohen]

It's hard for me to even conceptualize what that is conveying. It's like so. It's so old timey misogyny that it's like what?

[Aaron Keefe]

I like my misogyny. New and slick.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah.

[D]

Here's another one. I really like REM's version of this Sousa march better.

[Adol Refai]

Rag and bone, Stars and stripes.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Stapes.

[Adol Refai]

Michael Stipes.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Scott Stipes.

[Adol Refai]

Scott Stapes.

[D]

Scott Stapes. From the aria Stapes cover of Business.

[Adol Refai]

Michael Stipes.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Michael Stipes. Yeah, I kind of got that one.

[D]

You did kind of get that one. Good job. All right, a couple more.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Thank you, Sandy. I really like my good job.

[D]

Speaking of more misogyny, that awful woman told me one thing and sold me another.

[Adol Refai]

Bait and switch. Be rich, bitch.

[D]

It is bait and switch and bitch. Not intended as a reflection of my opinion about any specific person.

[Adol Refai]

You're staring right at me.

[Aaron Keefe]

You're looking right at me. Maybe I should have said that.

[D]

Female dog.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah, that old battle axe, Aaron.

[D]

All right, one more, one more. How about this? There's a stark difference between the way those two horses made that sound neigh.

[Adol Refai]

Neigh, and Winnie Ninny.

[D]

Stark difference.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Stark difference neither here nor there. No, it's neigh right to neigh.

[Aaron Keefe]

Neigh. No way.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Stark difference is neither right because that's Neigh. No, Sandy's looking blankly. I think he's thinking about something else.

[Adol Refai]

Difference.

[D]

Boy, the way I feel today and the way I feel yesterday. Blank and blank.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Night and day, of course.

[D]

Let me give you one more that you guys.

[Adol Refai]

I was tripped up by the spelling. I was like, ends in gh.

[D]

Oh, so sorry. So sorry.

[Adol Refai]

No, no.

[D]

One more is really quick. Boy, that Swiss girl is so full of herself.

[Adol Refai]

Pomp and circumstance. Percumspamps.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Swiss and miss. That Swiss girl.

[Adol Refai]

Boy, that Swiss girl is so full of herself.

[Aaron Keefe]

Heidi.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Heidi.

[Aaron Keefe]

High and mighty.

[John Patrick Cohen]

High and mighty.

[D]

High and mighty.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Wow.

[D]

All right. Good job, y'all.

[Adol Refai]

Nice job.

[D]

You did great. Aaron, you got significantly pulled every muscle you predicted.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Aaron, you basically just sat with me and flopped around in the mud while cattle ran the whole course.

[Aaron Keefe]

And I had a great day.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah, me too.

[Adol Refai]

Good.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Sandy, what do you got going on? What do you got to plug or promote?

[D]

Well, I'm still making the game that I talked about last time, which is rattle. This is a word ladder transformation game where instead of changing a letter in the word to make a word ladder, you're changing the words entirely through transformations and clues that I give you. This is a daily word game. You can find it at Raddle R A D D L E Quest. It's been really fun.

[John Patrick Cohen]

My advice if you are playing this game is do not think of it like wordle. Think of it like a crossword, because some of the clues you'll have to, like, really kind of get into the puzzle maker's head a little bit to, like, get to the bottom of the clues. It's not like there's a touch of, like. I wouldn't say subjective, but, like, a flare of personality in some of these answers.

[D]

Right. And I offer tours of my head for starts at $1,000aminute. So if you can sign up for that. So.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah.

[D]

So JPC is right. It's like I gave you a bunch of clues, and you have to figure out which clue works for the given word. So, like, if the latter went from pinky to thumb, you'd have to change pinky into a new word. And one of the clues is Pinky's cartoon partner, which is the clue. Would yield you the answer the brain, and that would be the next step of the ladder. And then you keep going from there.

[Adol Refai]

I also love that you can. I think you're starting from the top down, but you can also reverse a letter and go from the bottom up, which is fun. Yep.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah, that's helpful for me sometimes.

[Adol Refai]

Big fan. Big fan.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Very cool. Anything else to plug Sandy?

[D]

I also have a newsletter at Signals Fun. It's a free monthly newsletter and I'm on Instagram mysteryleague. And yeah, that's about it.

[Adol Refai]

Awesome, Sandy, thank you so much. Hey Aaron, we have to get rid of Sandy, but JPC and I don't want to be the bad guys. Do you mind being the battle ax? It kind of picks up.

[Aaron Keefe]

Hey Sandy, stay as long as you want. Here, I made you a cup of tea.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Sort of settle in a battleaxe. You are not Aaron.

[Aaron Keefe]

I said give me 10 years.

[John Patrick Cohen]

All right, Sandy, thank you so much. We'll see you later. Oh boy. What do we got to plug? Adol? What do you got? What do you got going on?

[Adol Refai]

I would say, as always, check out hello from the Magic Tavern, both the main feed and our Patreon. We have all kinds of fun stuff going on for our 10th anniversary. Also, I was recently a guest on the Press Play podcast talking about the video game and the movies of Mortal Kombat. So please check out Press Play podcast. Aaron, do you have anything to plug or promote?

[Aaron Keefe]

I would say check out Quality time on Instagram. It's a once a month variety show I host in Los Angeles. I'm really proud of it. It's true. Variety show. We've had history teachers, we've had Irish musicians. It is a blast. So check that out. Gpc. Any review to read or a plug.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Let's do some quick plugs. It's still April of the Penguins over on the Patreon. Patreon.com HaywardObertle Check it out. It's April of the Penguins all month long and it's a blast over there. You can also get all of our April of the Penguins [e-mail] or just click the link in the episode description. A lot of really cool new merch from Ariel Sinha over there. Five new logos. Oh yeah. If you're in Chicago, come and see World News Tonight at the I.O. theater 7:30 on Saturday night every week. And yeah, you know what? I do have a review to read. Oh, one more thing before we get to the review. We are announcing our slate of live shows for the and we're calling it the across the Riddleverse tour.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, we're going across the all the United States of America.

[John Patrick Cohen]

We almost called it uni. Would people have liked it if we called it United States of America? Because I think that would be very funny too.

[Aaron Keefe]

Comment below. There's no place to comment.

[John Patrick Cohen]

We are going to 10 cities at least this year we are going to be coming to Chicago, Minneapolis, St. Paul, Portland, Oregon, Seattle, Washington, Los Angeles, California, Denver, Colorado, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, Washington, D.C. boston, Massachusetts and New York City. We have all of our dates are up on our website and you can check out them and get tickets to most of them. I think most of them you can buy tickets to right now. Some of them later in the year are not ready yet at heyridorrtr.

[Aaron Keefe]

We'll let you know about that. You don't have to keep checking. We'll let you know.

[John Patrick Cohen]

We'll let you know. Heyridelvirtle.com live for tickets.

[Aaron Keefe]

You guys, can you believe we're going on tour?

[John Patrick Cohen]

I know, it's crazy.

[Adol Refai]

This is so much fun. I'm gonna bring my passport and get all these stamps.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Well, I don't know that you have to show your passport to go to you actually. Do I think have to. Do I have to show it? Yeah.

[Aaron Keefe]

What city do you think we're gonna get into our biggest fight?

[Adol Refai]

Portland.

[Aaron Keefe]

Portland?

[Adol Refai]

Yeah.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Wow, that's interesting. I would say Oregon. Oh, that's Portland. Nevermind.

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay. I was gonna say oh and I meant Portland, the Pacific Northwest. But okay, well that's not on the list yet.

[John Patrick Cohen]

If you're not in any of those cities that we are coming to or can't make it to any of those shows, the LA show also will have a live stream. So at least one of our shows will be live streamed to you everywhere that you can get a ticket for. And we've been talking about it. We have some special guests for some of these shows. So we're gonna try different guests for different shows. But be on the lookout for that because we will announce those as we get a little closer to the dates.

[Aaron Keefe]

And if you want us to come to your city, we're gonna have. The link is in the show description if you wanna fill out the little form.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah, the live show requester.

[Adol Refai]

Can I mention one of the guests? Just as a little teaser? I think it might be fun for St. Paul. I'm gonna go ahead and say we have Bobby from Bobby's World.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Wow.

[Adol Refai]

He's an animated boy voiced I believe by how.

[Aaron Keefe]

And for Chicago we do have JPC from Hey Riddle Riddle joining us for that show. God willing. God willing.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Speaking of animated boys, for the Denver, Colorado show, I think you know what we're talking about. We got the guys from hey Arnold. They live there now.

[Aaron Keefe]

We do.

[John Patrick Cohen]

No, we got Cartman. Come on, Cartman.

[Adol Refai]

No, Olga.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah, so anyway, come See us on tour this year. The across the Riddleverse tour. Heywardovertle.com live. Okay. And I would like to read a review. If you wanna get a review featured on the show, just leave a five star review anywhere you leave reviews. Hey, today we got one from Roxy Romero. Roxy Romero says 20 plus hours straight.

[Aaron Keefe]

Huh?

[John Patrick Cohen]

On a road trip from Ohio to Texas with my husband and daughter. Because it seemed like a good idea in 2023 when we started talking about it. Flash forward to now in 2024. Okay. Last year. And it turns out not so much. Anyway, we've listened to Hay Riddle Riddle and Clue Crew for the whole drive there and back, nonstop. In fact, we're still on this road trip and still listening. There is no end. We're trapped. Help. Someone say Jupiter, Neptune, Venus.

[Aaron Keefe]

Ah, they. They don't remember either.

[John Patrick Cohen]

That's. That gives a whole different flavor, by the way, to their review because the review's probably from last year. But it seems like they've been on that road trip for like over a year. That's fun.

[Aaron Keefe]

Scary.

[Adol Refai]

We should send some. We should send a team to go look for them or something. Yeah.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Who do we have? We have. In the deep bench. We got. We can sit. Coco Cashmere. The Bad News Gang.

[Aaron Keefe]

Jupiter.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah.

[Aaron Keefe]

Wait. Oh. Bye.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Created by Adol Refai, starring Aaron Keating and John Patrick Cohen.

[Adol Refai]

Casey.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Tony did the editing. They're already parented in the music logo created by Emily Cardamus and Emily Naporus. Hey there Abras and Kadabras. If you like that, you're going to love this week's Patreon. It's another chatterbox. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com. hey, Riddle Riddle. By joining the clue crew for $5 a month or start your seven day free trial or the review crew for $8 a month. Plus you get those ad free episodes. See you there.

[Adol Refai]

That was a Headgum podcast.