#355: Caterpillar Blood w/ Matt Oberg

Summary

Hey Riddle Riddle Podcast Episode #355: "Caterpillar Blood" Featuring Matt Oberg

Release Date: May 7, 2025
Guest: Matt Oberg

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Episode Overview

In episode #355 of Hey Riddle Riddle, the Headgum hosts—Adol Rifai, Erin Keif, and John Patrick Coan (JPC)—welcome special guest Matt Oberg. Known for his versatile roles, including voicing Kite Man, Matt brings a blend of humor and intellect to the show. The episode seamlessly intertwines challenging riddles, engaging improvisational scenes, and lively banter, all centered around the theme of "Caterpillar Blood."

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Guest Introduction: Matt Oberg

The episode kicks off with the hosts introducing Matt Oberg, expressing enthusiasm for his participation. Matt humorously anticipates potential challenges, stating, “[00:46] Matt Oberg: Well, Aaron might have a breakdown,” to which JPC quips back, “[00:48] Aaron Kenck: Yeah, I could have a breakdown. I hate. I hate riddles.” This sets a playful tone for the episode.

Notable Quote:

• JPC: “[02:29] Matt Oberg: Oh, wait a minute. I might know someone who is a doctor or might have played a doctor before... Please welcome Matt Oberg.”

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Riddle Discussions

Aaron Kenck spearheads the riddle segment, presenting Matt with a collection of lateral thinking puzzles from a book titled Lateral Thinking Puzzles. Although Matt expresses skepticism about riddles, the collaborative effort to solve them keeps the conversation lively.

First Riddle Example:

• Riddle: “I'm always at home, but I never pay rent. Waiting for me would be time long spent.”
• Discussion: The hosts initially contemplate abstract answers like a hermit crab, but the solution gravitates towards something more tangible like a "key."

Notable Quote:

• Aaron Kenck: “[13:08] Aaron Kenck: ...I have many jagged teeth and usually stay with a pack. I make my home in a cave, filling up every crack.”

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Improvisational Scenes

The episode features several spontaneous improvisational scenes that highlight the comedic talents of both the hosts and Matt Oberg.

1. Doctor Dad Scene

At [09:02], Matt portrays "Dr. Dad," blending the roles of a father and a physician to convince a reluctant child to attend school. The scene humorously juxtaposes medical seriousness with parental nagging.

Notable Quote:

• JPC: “[10:25] JPC: ...there's no excuse for not showing up.”

2. Turtle Housewarming Party

Later, at [15:12], the group imagines JPC as a turtle hosting a housewarming party. Matt arrives as a guest, bringing blenders as unconventional gifts, leading to a series of comedic exchanges about pet turtles and quirky home setups.

Notable Quote:

• Matt Oberg: “[15:24] Matt Oberg: Hi, my dudes.”

3. Dog Boxing Match Scene

In a particularly entertaining segment starting at [58:03], Matt's character "Oreo" faces off against the legendary boxer Evander Holyfield in the ring. Adol Refai acts as the over-the-top announcer, creating a humorous narrative around the unlikely match.

Notable Quote:

• Matt Oberg: “[59:57] Matt Oberg: Evander Holyfield versus Oreo and event.”

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Notable Riddles and Team’s Attempts

Throughout the episode, Aaron presents a series of riddles, challenging the team's problem-solving skills amidst humorous distractions.

Example Riddle:

• Riddle: “What took 19 years to get into itself?”
• Discussion: The team explores various angles, including historical events and popular culture references, but struggles to arrive at the correct answer, highlighting the complexity of lateral thinking puzzles.

Second Riddle Example:

• Riddle: “A boxer left the ring after winning the world championship. His trainer took all the money, and he never got a cent. Why not?”
• Solution: The answer plays on the homophone “scent,” revealing that the boxer never got a “scent” instead of a “cent.”

Notable Quote:

• Aaron Kenck: “[58:15] Aaron Kenck: A boxer left the ring... Why not?”
• Adol Refai: “[58:20] Adol Refai: He never got a scent.”

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Insights and Humor

The episode is rich with humorous interactions and insightful observations. The hosts discuss everyday objects like key rings and rings, blending practical advice with comedic exaggerations. For instance, when Aaron showcases his overloaded key ring, the conversation shifts to the symbolism of rings and their personal significance.

Notable Quote:

• Aaron Kenck: “[28:29] Aaron Kenck: You just keep your keys with other.”

Additionally, the segment involving the flipped ring by Adol's niece adds a layer of familial humor and relatability.

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Matt Oberg’s New Podcast Plug: "Extraordinarians"

Midway through the episode, Matt Oberg introduces his new podcast, Extraordinarians, which delves into conversations with individuals who have broken unique world records. He highlights the inspiring and profound nature of these interactions, emphasizing themes of ambition, confidence, and risk-taking.

Notable Quote:

• Matt Oberg: “[70:32] Matt Oberg: That's awesome.”

JPC adds:

• “[71:21] JPC: ...we have, you know, 20-minute conversations with...”

The hosts express genuine enthusiasm for Matt’s project, recognizing the podcast’s potential to inspire listeners.

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Conclusion

As the episode wraps up, the hosts and Matt engage in light-hearted banter, reflecting on the challenges of solving riddles and the fun of improvisational acting. They also share plugs for each other's projects and sponsor segments, maintaining the episode's entertaining and collaborative spirit.

Notable Quote:

• Adol Refai: “[73:39] JPC: Scooter McGreevy. Come a court.”
• Aaron Kenck: “[73:11] Matt Oberg: Vincent D'Onofrio. If you've never seen The Cell...”

The episode concludes with a playful mishap involving a cat, leaving listeners with a final laugh and anticipation for future episodes.

Final Quote:

• Aaron Kenck: “[74:07] Matt Oberg: This is a Headgum podcast.”

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Key Takeaways

• Engaging Riddles: The episode balances the complexity of riddles with the hosts' lighthearted attempts to solve them, showcasing the appeal of lateral thinking puzzles.

• Dynamic Improvisation: Matt Oberg's contributions to improvisational scenes add depth and humor, highlighting his versatility as an actor.

• Collaborative Spirit: The camaraderie among the hosts and their guest fosters an entertaining and inclusive listening experience.

• Promoting Creativity: Discussions about new projects like Extraordinarians emphasize the hosts' commitment to creative endeavors in the podcasting space.

Overall, episode #355 of Hey Riddle Riddle delivers a captivating mix of puzzles, humor, and insightful conversations, making it a must-listen for fans and newcomers alike.

Transcript

[Aaron Kenck]

This is a Headgun podcast. Bombas makes the most comfortable socks, underwear, and T shirts.

[JPC]

Bombas are so absurdly comfortable, you may throw out all your other clothes.

[Aaron Kenck]

Sorry, do we legally have to say that?

[JPC]

No, this is just how I talk. And I really love my Bombas.

[Aaron Kenck]

They do feel that good. And they do good too. One item purchased equals one item donated.

[Adol Refai]

To feel good and do good, go.

[JPC]

To bombas.com wondry and use code wondry for 20% off your first purchase.

[Adol Refai]

That's B o m b a s.com.

[JPC]

Wonders wondry and use code Wondry at checkout.

[Matt Oberg]

Thank you again, Matt, for doing this. We're excited to have you.

[JPC]

Gonna be fun. What's the worst that could happen?

[Adol Refai]

Hey, aim into that.

[Matt Oberg]

Well, Aaron might have a breakdown.

[Aaron Kenck]

Yeah, I could have a breakdown. I hate. I hate riddles. I'm back on my hating riddles train, everybody.

[Matt Oberg]

This is like a Sisyphus punishment for us.

[JPC]

Yeah, that's fine.

[Adol Refai]

The cannon of an airplane.

[JPC]

He stabbed him with an ice.

[Aaron Kenck]

Adult jbc, can you help me push this riddle up the hill?

[Matt Oberg]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so we're in a.

[Adol Refai]

It's just back into your body. Aaron, you do have a riddle poking out of you as well.

[Aaron Kenck]

Oh, God. Is that from me or did it go inside me? Is it from me or. I don't know, is it medical? Do I need it? Do I need it to live?

[Matt Oberg]

It's kind of like the le is sticking out of your back. I assume the RIDD is in there somewhere.

[Aaron Kenck]

Get it out, get it out, get it out, get it out.

[Matt Oberg]

Okay, okay, Aaron, count to three. One.

[Adol Refai]

Whoa. Adel, I don't think you should pull a riddle out because I feel like it could be keeping a bunch of riddles inside. You know what I'm saying?

[Matt Oberg]

It's like an arrow.

[Adol Refai]

I don't know. I'm not here.

[Matt Oberg]

I think they say if you get shot with an arrow, you just have to deal with it. You just have to live like that.

[Adol Refai]

Wait, that's life.

[Aaron Kenck]

Now you're saying he should push it back in?

[Matt Oberg]

Let me shoot an arrow. Aaron. I'm going to shoot an arrow at you. I'm going to put a riddle on the top of your head and shoot it off. Okay, hold still.

[Aaron Kenck]

Okay. I don't want to drop this big riddle that I'm pushing up the hill.

[Adol Refai]

This is the right way to do this, is to shoot you with an arrow right now to kind of figure out what it is that we're doing here.

[Matt Oberg]

Oh, wait a minute. I might know someone who is a doctor or might have played a doctor before? You may have known from Veep. You might know him from Abbott Elementary. You might know him as the voice of Kite Man. And Kite Man. Hell yeah. Please welcome Matt Oberg.

[Aaron Kenck]

Woo.

[JPC]

Hello.

[Aaron Kenck]

Woo.

[JPC]

Woo. It sounds like these are just euphemisms for pooping, that you're just pushing.

[Aaron Kenck]

The quiet part out loud.

[JPC]

Which I'm happy to do, but.

[Adol Refai]

I'm always happy to assist someone with pooping. Whatever that means to you, I'm happy to do it.

[JPC]

Sure.

[Adol Refai]

Matt, have you ever played a doctor?

[JPC]

I don't think so. I've never, like, I think I remember wearing a lab coat and stuff.

[Matt Oberg]

No, I should. I'd buy it at some point. Today during the episode, we'll have you play a doctor.

[JPC]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I play. You know, it used to be sort of emasculated fathers, and now it's becoming kind of demographic.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah.

[JPC]

And it's not a. It's not a. A big leap for me. Now I'm getting more like, you know, jerks. Like. Like people who are smarmy and everyone wants to see them lose and. Happy to do it.

[Matt Oberg]

Happy to do it.

[Aaron Kenck]

Congratulations.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Adol Refai]

With whatever's going on in the collective psychosis of this country, it seems like a lot of people were having father issues, that they were writing into things, and now they're like, actually, I think my emasculated father's kind of a dick. And now it's like, flipping the other way on the father.

[JPC]

Well, I've been saying that, you know, nerds can be jerks for a long time. People.

[Adol Refai]

Yes.

[Aaron Kenck]

You know, we're living proof of that. We live that truth every day here at Haver Novel.

[Adol Refai]

I mean, it's like, hurt people. Hurt people. Right? Like, that's the.

[JPC]

Yes, yes, yes. People who were popular in high school are, by the most part, really nice. So.

[Matt Oberg]

Matt, two questions for you. One is, you're the voice of Kite man and Kite Man. Hell yeah. Which is a fantastic series, which means you probably know a friend of ours and former guest of the show, Katie Rich.

[JPC]

Yeah. Oh, sure. You guys are from the Chicago School of Living, right?

[Matt Oberg]

Oh, yes.

[JPC]

Yeah. And she's a graduate of that. Yeah, no, she's great. It's. You know, a lot of my interaction with her was in this sort of a medium, but we were at Comic Con together not too long ago, and. Or I guess maybe it was a while back, but. No, she's the best. She's the best.

[Matt Oberg]

That's fantastic. And then secondly, what is your relationship with riddles, puzzles, lateral thinking problems, even something like crosswords or escape rooms or connections?

[JPC]

I'm big into the New York Times suite of games. The one show that I DVR is Jeopardy.

[Matt Oberg]

So nice.

[JPC]

I don't know what a lateral puzzle is, so that excludes me from enjoying those.

[Aaron Kenck]

But look at the name of the book that I'm reading from today.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, no.

[Aaron Kenck]

It's Lateral Thinking Puzzles. So you'll find out soon enough.

[JPC]

Does that count as a book, or is it just a bunch of different lateral thinking puzzles?

[Aaron Kenck]

You're right. This is not a book. Yeah, fuck this.

[Matt Oberg]

It's like common sense. The.

[Adol Refai]

It looks like a seventh grader's homework assignment.

[Aaron Kenck]

It really does. From, like, 1998.

[JPC]

So the COVID is looking up at a palm tree or.

[Aaron Kenck]

No, it's just a bunch of random shapes. But I'm glad that you can see something in the random shapes.

[Matt Oberg]

Ooh.

[Aaron Kenck]

Yeah.

[Matt Oberg]

That was a bit of a Rorschach.

[Aaron Kenck]

Test, illustrated by Myron Miller.

[Adol Refai]

I was, like, looking at that cover. Is that my father having sex with my mother? Like, who the hell is that?

[JPC]

Why is he angry at me?

[Aaron Kenck]

Um, what. When you watch Jeopardy, if you were on Jeopardy, what categories would you be, like, so excited to see? And what would you be like? Oh, fuck. I'm.

[JPC]

I'm. That's a great question. I mean, I don't think I would be confident about any of them. Um, but there's so much opera on Jeopardy. And that is a weak point for me. Although half the time I feel like the answer is Carmen, but. Or like Madame Butterfly. But it's the ones you're cocky about that get you into trouble, I think.

[Aaron Kenck]

Yeah.

[JPC]

The other game I play a lot, which is not Wordle, but Wordle. You guys into that?

[Aaron Kenck]

Yeah.

[JPC]

Gives you, like, the silhouette of a country.

[Matt Oberg]

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Aaron, I think you maybe had us play that on episode or something similar.

[JPC]

Yeah, it's fun. Except I played it just this weekend with some friends, which was a real hoot. And it was. It was Puerto Rico, which is not a nation, but a territory. And I felt like that was.

[Aaron Kenck]

That's a little bit of a cheat.

[JPC]

Yeah. Yeah. So they guammed you? They.

[Adol Refai]

Absolutely. Guam?

[Matt Oberg]

Yeah, I got Guam.

[Adol Refai]

I got Casey. Clip it. We're going to use that. That's our new sound bite. I got Guammed.

[JPC]

So if. If there was a Jeopardy. Question of what are, like, silhouettes of Puerto Rico, I would this week.

[Aaron Kenck]

You'd crush that category.

[Matt Oberg]

Sounds like a romance novel.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Matt Oberg]

Matt, where are you from in the world.

[JPC]

I grew up in the suburbs of New York in Westchester, Larchmont, New York. And are you guys in Chicago? As we speak right now, JPC and.

[Matt Oberg]

I are in Chicago. Aaron was in Chicago, but moved to LA for a. I'm in Los Angeles.

[Aaron Kenck]

Yes.

[JPC]

Nice. Great call.

[Aaron Kenck]

Yeah.

[Adol Refai]

You can tell because you can see the sun in her background and you can see Adol and I. Adol looks like he's in a sauna and I look in a black hole. So that's definitely Chicago.

[JPC]

Yeah. You guys are both in ice fishing tents, right?

[Aaron Kenck]

For sure. Trying to make it through April.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah.

[JPC]

Yeah, but that's my story.

[Aaron Kenck]

I had a question. Now I forget what it was. What was my question?

[Adol Refai]

So this is the part of the show where Aaron tries to remember her question.

[JPC]

You know, how did I get into show business?

[Aaron Kenck]

How did you get into show business?

[Matt Oberg]

Yeah, we're pivoting of a W2F. W2F.

[Aaron Kenck]

Is that the W2F? It's his. It's his bonus podcast. Okay.

[Adol Refai]

What to. Yeah, this is. This is a show called what to. Sorry that you're on it, but sometimes.

[Matt Oberg]

I'll wake up in the middle of the night, I'll open the fridge and I'm like, what to.

[Aaron Kenck]

Shredded cheese. Always Shredded cheese. Always.

[Adol Refai]

Guys, shredded. When I'm done with it.

[Aaron Kenck]

That's the worst. And I knew you're about to say that.

[Adol Refai]

Of course.

[Aaron Kenck]

Second, I made that joke.

[Adol Refai]

Aaron, if you don't remember what your question is, we have to move on. We have to do riddles. So you either have to think of a really good question or we have to do riddles. Totally your choice.

[Aaron Kenck]

As much as I want this to be an interview podcast, I will do some riddles.

[Matt Oberg]

Okay. I do want to see. I am going to call for our first scene. We can make it pretty quick, but I think just to fulfill the prophecy. Fulfill the prophecy.

[Adol Refai]

What's going on with you today?

[Matt Oberg]

To fulfill the prophecy, I need to go ahead and see a scene. Aaron, you are a kid who has to go to school and doesn't want to. Matt, you are Dr. Dad. You are Aaron's dad, but you're also a doctor. So now you've played one and you're trying to convince your daughter to go to school.

[JPC]

Wow.

[Aaron Kenck]

Oh, boy. Sounds bad, huh?

[JPC]

Sounds pretty bad. You know, kiddo, you know that in addition to being your dad, I'm also a doctor.

[Aaron Kenck]

Yeah. Yeah.

[JPC]

You know, when I'm feeling bad or I have like, you have a pretty wet, consistent cough, I can't just Call the hospital and say, I'm not gonna come in and do doctoring, but that you should.

[Aaron Kenck]

You could get a lot of people sick if you have a cough and you go in and you give it to all your patients.

[JPC]

I'm sorry, are you the doctor dad or am I the doctor dad?

[Aaron Kenck]

You're the doctor dad.

[JPC]

That's right. And I don't want to have to go tell Nurse mom about this conversation. Okay? What I mean to say is that in school, just as in open heart surgery, there's no excuse for not showing up.

[Aaron Kenck]

Yeah, but doesn't that look bad on you? If I show up and I get every kid in school sick and they're gonna go, isn't her dad a doctor and her mother a nurse? What are they doing over there?

[JPC]

It's a fair point, sweetheart. It's a fair point. But then they'll look to me for the cure. And then we can buy more of the toys that you love and cherish.

[Aaron Kenck]

Okay, I'm listening. Let's make a negotiation. I won't tell all the kids at school that you're siphoning medicine off of your own supply. And you let me stay home from school today.

[JPC]

All right? Now that's a prescription for success, sweetheart.

[Matt Oberg]

Dr. Dad coming to CBS this.

[Aaron Kenck]

Oh, CBS would love Dr. Dad.

[Matt Oberg]

Oh, will code as the theme song?

[Aaron Kenck]

Yeah, CBS is listening for sure.

[JPC]

We love Dr. Dad. We're passing.

[Matt Oberg]

No, we couldn't love that.

[Aaron Kenck]

She's about to have a hit on their hands. Okay, all right. I will do riddles because I did agree to do this podcast in 2018, and here I am. And here I am.

[Matt Oberg]

And Aaron, hold up today's newspaper and say you're fine.

[Aaron Kenck]

Hi, Maren Keefe. It is sometime in May, and I'm doing all right.

[Adol Refai]

All right.

[JPC]

It's not May.

[Aaron Kenck]

Oh, it is May, but it's not May.

[JPC]

I'm like, you're wrong.

[Aaron Kenck]

It's the day after 4:20, and we're all trying our very, very best. That's what it actually is, guys.

[Adol Refai]

No, no, no, no. You're listening to this on the day it comes out, and it's the same day we recorded it. It's May. Of course, everyone knows it's May and it's today.

[Aaron Kenck]

Okay, these are from Will Parsons. He says, I created some quick two sentence riddles for you guys when I should have been working. Oops. So these are like rhyming. You'll see. Actually, I think I'll just go into them.

[Matt Oberg]

Okay.

[Aaron Kenck]

Okay, great. And, well, these are. We'll consider these warm up riddles. I'm always at home, but I never pay rent. Waiting for me would be time long spent. And you're all sort of thinking. You're all like very presentationally thinking.

[Adol Refai]

And we shouldn't be doing that. Is that what I'm gathering? We don't even think about this one. Okay.

[Matt Oberg]

Big stroke of the beard. Aaron, is this some sort of pet or plant?

[Adol Refai]

I was going to say dog.

[Aaron Kenck]

Yeah. Someone could potentially have this as a pet. I'm always at home, but I never pay rent. Waiting for me would be time long spent waiting for.

[JPC]

I'm always at home.

[Aaron Kenck]

And the home doesn't really look like our home.

[Matt Oberg]

Oh, is it like a hermit crab?

[Aaron Kenck]

Close.

[Matt Oberg]

Or a small.

[JPC]

Why would waiting for a hermit crab be time well spent?

[Aaron Kenck]

That's my favorite play. I love that play. Super heady.

[Matt Oberg]

Samuel Beckett.

[Aaron Kenck]

Yes.

[JPC]

I can't make it. I'm still waiting for this hermit crab. But it's time both spent.

[Adol Refai]

People don't have hermit crabs as pets. Or do they?

[Aaron Kenck]

You're asking the right question. Is what takes a long time? Is there an animal that is slow.

[Matt Oberg]

Like a. Oh, it's like a bear. That's a waiter or something.

[JPC]

Oh, it's. I know what.

[Aaron Kenck]

I'm coming to CBS this fall.

[Adol Refai]

You flagging down a bear? Waiter.

[Matt Oberg]

Check. Can I get the check? The check. I'm making the signing motion and the bear's like, I don't use at all. Matt, it sounds like you might have it. You might have it.

[JPC]

Do you guys really not have it or are you being kind to me?

[Matt Oberg]

Oh, I really don't have it.

[Adol Refai]

I'm not sure he's hitting it, Aaron.

[JPC]

He's a fucking turtle.

[Adol Refai]

God damn it.

[Matt Oberg]

Huh? Matt, I want to congratulate you, but it also sucks that you thought we were so dumb. We were acting.

[Adol Refai]

That's a compliment to our acting chops, though. Actually, that's pretty cool.

[Matt Oberg]

But I wasn't acting.

[Adol Refai]

I mean, Daniel Lewis doesn't act. He just is. Adolph, you be. You act.

[Aaron Kenck]

I'd like to see a scene. Jpc, you are a turtle and you are hosting a housewarming party, which is your shell and Adol. And Matt, you're going to go to his housewarming party.

[Matt Oberg]

I think it's around here somewhere. 48 and a half seconds. Oh. Oh. Down here.

[Adol Refai]

Hi, my dudes.

[JPC]

Hey.

[Adol Refai]

Welcome, guys.

[JPC]

Love the new place. This is amazing.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah.

[Matt Oberg]

Yeah.

[JPC]

This is so cool.

[Adol Refai]

Can't believe we made it into this neighborhood, huh? The school zones in this thing.

[Matt Oberg]

Yeah, yeah. Fantastic.

[Adol Refai]

Property taxes don't even get me started, though.

[JPC]

Yeah, man, this is. This isn't a. You're. This is an official zoned, you know, permitted dwelling. That's so cool. That's so cool.

[Matt Oberg]

Yeah, the sort of house numbers look so big on your shell.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Well, that's the hoa. You know, they make you put them on at that size. You know, everybody's got to be uniform, living in a little tiny boxes.

[Matt Oberg]

Oh, weeds. Yeah, weeds.

[JPC]

Can we.

[Matt Oberg]

Can Mark and I get a tour?

[Adol Refai]

Yeah, okay, sure, but. And I know I said no gifts. You both have blenders.

[JPC]

Blenders? You guessed it, dude.

[Adol Refai]

You can ne. I always say you can never have enough blenders, you know?

[JPC]

Yeah. So I know you love, you know, green, you know, lettuce mostly. So this. You could put lettuce.

[Adol Refai]

Tell me you didn't bring lettuce. Oh, Eileen's gonna kill me. I'm clean, but I might have to have a little.

[Matt Oberg]

And I brought you. What? I know that for dessert, you sometimes will pick at some watercress. So this blender is for watercress.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, you guys are the best. All right, get in here. Come on, get in here. Climb in. Keith, why don't you do armhole, and Greg, you do leg hole.

[JPC]

Sure, sure. And just real quick, which is your arm?

[Adol Refai]

Okay, we're tay. Talk to me after. I have some lettuce and watercress, and then we'll start playing that game.

[Matt Oberg]

Put that on a coffee mug.

[Aaron Kenck]

You guys, I'm having sort of an existential moment here. I'm picturing a turtle. I'm trying not to Google it. And when it's in its shells, like, the shell, like, they're body part is really attached, like through skin to the shell part, Right?

[Matt Oberg]

Yeah.

[Aaron Kenck]

It's not like they just fully go into the shell. And the shell is like. The shell is like.

[Adol Refai]

I think. Yeah.

[Matt Oberg]

The shell has their mucus.

[Aaron Kenck]

Yes.

[Adol Refai]

Membrane there.

[Aaron Kenck]

But it's like. I just mean the attachment. Like, I'm picturing the little arms coming out, and they would. Yeah.

[JPC]

You're thinking, like, if you yanked on a turtle's head hard enough, would the thing just come out?

[Aaron Kenck]

Yeah, I'm saying if I yanked on a turtle's head hard enough again.

[Matt Oberg]

Aaron. Yeah. You dated Michelangelo, right?

[Aaron Kenck]

I did.

[Adol Refai]

Eric, you're saying is the creature that we call a turtle another creature inside of there? Could you take the turtle out of the shell and it would still be a turtle? That's what you're saying?

[Aaron Kenck]

I still regret asking this question out loud.

[Matt Oberg]

Like when a snail becomes a slug.

[Aaron Kenck]

I'll take my answer offline.

[Adol Refai]

Caterpillar becomes a butterfly.

[Matt Oberg]

Different thing.

[JPC]

Anyways, I've got a lot of caterpillars in my backyard, and I have a backyard as well, so that's pretty cool.

[Matt Oberg]

Must be nice.

[JPC]

Yeah, but it happens around this time of year, and a lot of them become. Not a lot of them. I'd say less than 10% become cocoons. And I was showing my daughters. I'm like, look, there's one. We can see it right here. And then after, I don't know, like, two weeks, you just see this trickle of. Of blood coming out of it.

[Matt Oberg]

Oh, no.

[JPC]

That's the most valuable of. Of all, you know, liquids is butterfly blood. Yeah. So rare.

[Matt Oberg]

But that's incredible.

[Aaron Kenck]

You sell that in la. It's like, so it's like, better than Botox.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Aaron Kenck]

Women just putterfly blood. She would. She would hawk butterfly blood to all of us. You know what? I'd buy it.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Aaron Kenck]

I'd walk into that little goop score goop store in Brentwood and I'd spend $200 on that butterfly blood.

[JPC]

I get you some for free.

[Aaron Kenck]

Oh, hell yeah. Thank you.

[Matt Oberg]

Truly, the next time I play, like, a wizard or something, I'm going to be like, give me two scoops of butterfly blood that's sticking in the library. For sure.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Aaron Kenck]

All right, let's continue on these. These riddles. I'm back on the riddle train. I'm going to be enthusiastic the rest of the episode. I'm never going to complain again. I don't have to speak your language to know what you mean. I could. No. I could discern some of your habits based on your sheen. I think this one's hard.

[Adol Refai]

By the way, this is Spanish.

[Aaron Kenck]

No.

[Adol Refai]

Because as we all know.

[Aaron Kenck]

Nope.

[Adol Refai]

Emilio Estevez.

[Aaron Kenck]

Nope.

[Adol Refai]

Is.

[JPC]

Let him finish.

[Adol Refai]

Martin Sheen's real name is, like Pablo Estevez or something like that.

[JPC]

Yeah, famously.

[Aaron Kenck]

You don't have to speak your language to know what you mean, though. I could discern some of your habits based on your sheen.

[Matt Oberg]

Okay, I don't.

[JPC]

Language to know what you mean.

[Aaron Kenck]

What's the different ways to communicate with people that isn't body language?

[Matt Oberg]

Sign language, Dance math.

[Aaron Kenck]

Dance math. No, not body language. Is close body language.

[JPC]

Jazz.

[Aaron Kenck]

It's sign language, not sign language. Body language. Like, what is a way to communicate to someone that you feel a certain way?

[Matt Oberg]

Touch your.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, mime. The art of mime.

[Aaron Kenck]

Not the art of sex puppetry.

[JPC]

Is it sex?

[Aaron Kenck]

I would say, like, you're over Complicating it. But like, if. If you were to walk into a room, this is actually a bad example because you're going to make fun of it. Okay, but if I.

[Adol Refai]

Why don't you just take a second and have it to a good example.

[JPC]

Wait, I'm walked into the room.

[Adol Refai]

Scratch the bad example. Scratch the bad example. Completely throw that one.

[Matt Oberg]

Matt walked into your room. Matt walked into your hypothetical room.

[Aaron Kenck]

Okay, so I. Okay. Matt and I met today and we're getting along great. We're buddies already. I feel like this is going well. We're gonna be friends.

[JPC]

Sure.

[Aaron Kenck]

Side of things, we both live in la. I'm in a coffee shop. Right. And he walks in. How would he know that I'm excited to greet my new friend?

[Matt Oberg]

Big smile.

[Aaron Kenck]

Smile. There you go.

[Matt Oberg]

It's a smile.

[Adol Refai]

Wait, how is that the answer? What's the answer? What's the riddle?

[Aaron Kenck]

A smile.

[Adol Refai]

But what's the riddle? I feel fucking stupid today. I don't understand.

[JPC]

I don't have to speak your language to know what you mean, but I can tell how you feel based on your Sheen, of course.

[Aaron Kenck]

Well, you guys sort of completely rewrote the riddle and I love that I don't have to speak your language. You know what you mean? You got that part right, though. I could discern some of your habits based on your sheen.

[Matt Oberg]

I gotta tell you, I went to a bookstore. They had coffee house smile. And they had silhouettes of Puerto Rico. And I got silhouettes of Puerto Rico.

[Adol Refai]

And I'll say this. If Martin Sheen is showing you his teeth, that actually does not mean he's excited to meet you. That means he is very frustrated and he is very anxious. And you actually should go close to Martin Sheen because you will get bit.

[JPC]

Martin Sheen is just as scared of you as you.

[Matt Oberg]

Don't worry if you're cold. He's cold. Bring your Martin Sheen inside.

[Adol Refai]

You know, that's probably generally true of people, so it might also be true.

[Matt Oberg]

Of Martin Sheen if you're Apocalypse Now. He's Apocalypse Now.

[Aaron Kenck]

That's so funny.

[JPC]

I just like that you. You're going to invent a last name and Sheen made it to the top.

[Aaron Kenck]

Yeah.

[JPC]

Let's do it. You drive around LA and realize how many, like, hacky things are just named after streets in Los Angeles. Bron and Adol.

[Adol Refai]

I was trying to think of this and I was like, I should have texted you because I think you are the perfect person to remember this. But isn't there a celebrity who changed their name because their name was the name of a different celebrity.

[Matt Oberg]

Michael Keaton.

[Adol Refai]

Michael Keaton.

[Matt Oberg]

Wait, no, no, no, I'm sorry. Albert Einstein.

[Adol Refai]

That's right.

[Matt Oberg]

Was Albert Brooks. Albert Brooks was born Albert Einstein. Albert Einstein changed his name to. But also Michael Keaton had a. Michael Keaton's real name is Michael Douglas.

[JPC]

That's right. That's right.

[Aaron Kenck]

That's awesome.

[Adol Refai]

I knew if I had texted you this, I would have had both of those examples, like, immediately, because I was like, I can't remember what this thing is. But yes.

[JPC]

I thought at first you were saying Albert Einstein changed his own name to Albert Einstein. He's like, it just sounds so smart, you know?

[Aaron Kenck]

Okay, I got another riddle.

[Adol Refai]

Sounds really sweet.

[Aaron Kenck]

These are still from Will. Will wrote these. I have many jagged teeth and usually stay with a pack. I make my home in a cave, filling up every crack. Don't be gross. Don't be gross. Grab my spray bottle. Spray, spray, spray, spray, spray.

[Adol Refai]

Ah, my crack.

[Matt Oberg]

I have many jagged teeth. So that makes me think of, like, a zipper.

[Aaron Kenck]

Ooh, okay.

[Matt Oberg]

Which when you unzip your pants, that could be like a little cave.

[JPC]

Yeah, well, Adolvert.

[Adol Refai]

I do think Adol's wearing his pants backwards now. This is not my indicator. Adol unzipping the butt of his pants. All of Adol's pants are like Catwoman costumes.

[Aaron Kenck]

We are finding out that Adol's been wearing his pants backwards.

[Matt Oberg]

I got to get a physical at the doctor's and I unzip on my pants and I go, want to explore the cave? And he goes, please, just, please, just put on the I'm a dead daddy, please.

[JPC]

It'd be worse if you talk to your doctor in riddles, too. What has a cave?

[Aaron Kenck]

A terrible rash and no health insurance. I have many jagged teeth and usually stay with a pack. I make my home in a cave, filling up every crack.

[Matt Oberg]

Is it a bat? Is it a colony of bats?

[Adol Refai]

Is it an animal, like a wolf? Is it a wolf? Because wolves live in caves.

[Aaron Kenck]

No, it's not an animal. And I would say Adol did not have it quite right with a zipper. But that way of thinking, I think could get you.

[Adol Refai]

What else has teeth? Saws. Saws have teeth.

[Aaron Kenck]

Okay, that's true.

[JPC]

Does a comb have teeth?

[Aaron Kenck]

A comb? Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, yeah.

[JPC]

Teeth, Comb.

[Aaron Kenck]

Comb teeth usually stay in a pack is, I think, true.

[JPC]

Like a pack of. Pack of Marlboros.

[Aaron Kenck]

So I wouldn't say it's like in a pack of something. I'd say it stays with its own kind. Usually it stays with more of what?

[Adol Refai]

They are magnets.

[Aaron Kenck]

Not magnets.

[JPC]

It's magnets.

[Adol Refai]

It's magnets.

[Aaron Kenck]

All right, we've decided.

[Adol Refai]

Damn riddles are hard today. What the fuck is going on?

[Aaron Kenck]

I know, I know. I think maybe. I do think it's the post 420 blues.

[Adol Refai]

That's gotta be it. Yeah, it's the post 420 blues. Those famous post 420 blues.

[JPC]

Can I ask for a clue?

[Aaron Kenck]

Yeah.

[Adol Refai]

Yes. We need a clue.

[Aaron Kenck]

You definitely, definitely own several versions of this thing.

[Adol Refai]

Full body Shrek bodysuit.

[Aaron Kenck]

My other hint is this is very, very inexpensive to replace. I feel like it's pretty affordable if you lose this thing. But you kind of need. But it's hard. It is hard to replace if you don't.

[JPC]

If you've completely lost it and you buy, like, more. You buy a bunch of them.

[Aaron Kenck]

I would say it's smart to buy more than one of these things. And if you lose it.

[Adol Refai]

Is it a key?

[Aaron Kenck]

It's a key.

[JPC]

It's a key.

[Matt Oberg]

And the lock is a cave. Whoa.

[JPC]

What's the cave? Is the lock. Of course.

[Aaron Kenck]

Is the lock. Yeah.

[Adol Refai]

Aaron, you keep your keys with other.

[Aaron Kenck]

Keys on a key ring?

[Adol Refai]

What?

[Aaron Kenck]

Yes.

[Adol Refai]

I keep all my keys loose in different pockets. What am I doing wrong?

[Aaron Kenck]

Actually, you guys, my key ring actually kind of looks insane. Can I show it to you? I know this is a, uh.

[Matt Oberg]

Oh, yeah.

[JPC]

No, please.

[Adol Refai]

I can't wait. I can't wait to see what this looks like.

[JPC]

How far away are her keys? Is.

[Adol Refai]

She's leaving. She left them in Boston.

[JPC]

Here we go. What's the over under. On how many keys are on the ring?

[Matt Oberg]

Ooh, I'm gonna say 15.

[Aaron Kenck]

It's so loud and so heavy and so too much. And I literally just took something off of it today.

[Adol Refai]

To me, it's not keys. Oh, yeah, There's. I was gonna say there's a bunch of other stuff. Yeah, for sure.

[Aaron Kenck]

And a lot of it is, like, anxiety stuff. Like, this is like an alarm thing. And then this is like a fidget toy. This is rose quartz, a crystal for my spells. This is a bottle opener.

[JPC]

I wouldn't put the alarm thing in the same category as rose quartz in a fidget toy. One is, like, personal safety.

[Aaron Kenck]

They're all keeping me safe in different ways.

[JPC]

I see. Fair enough. Fair enough.

[Matt Oberg]

That's the key fob to her heart.

[Aaron Kenck]

Yeah.

[JPC]

I got just one key.

[Aaron Kenck]

That's slick. That's cool. That's cool.

[Adol Refai]

Wow.

[Matt Oberg]

It opens everything.

[JPC]

This.

[Aaron Kenck]

You're like this. This lady's a mess. You're walking in. That's.

[Adol Refai]

That's always locked out of place. It's just like knocking on the door, like, this is not the right key.

[JPC]

I had a locksmith put the few locks we have all in the same.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah. Heated up.

[JPC]

Yep. And then we've. This locksmith's come out a few times. One of the last times he was here. Maybe he's listening. I don't know. But he's leaving. And he goes, I love you. And I go, oh, okay. All right. I love you, too. Because this man can enter any room.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah.

[JPC]

Anytime he wants.

[Matt Oberg]

Yeah. If. If a locksmith says I love you, you say it back, because otherwise, I'm dying.

[Aaron Kenck]

That's also. You know, he went home that night into his wife. He's like, I can't believe I said I love you. And she's like, he. No one's gonna remember that in a week, and no one's ever gonna mention it on a podcast, and everyone's gonna forget about it.

[JPC]

His wife comes with him every time.

[Adol Refai]

He goes, wow.

[Matt Oberg]

Was he talking to her?

[Adol Refai]

That's what he says. That's. That's his story. Baby, I was talking to you.

[Aaron Kenck]

Wait. That's crazy. What a life. I want to be them.

[JPC]

Yeah. Yeah. It was like, oh, yeah. I hope I said I love you, too, but I don't know. I didn't.

[Adol Refai]

You could have just said thank you. If someone says I love you. Thank you, and they're a stranger. Or what about.

[Aaron Kenck]

I know.

[Adol Refai]

Doing a task. I think thank you is acceptable.

[JPC]

It's a weird thing to say thank you to. In any instance, when someone says I love you, I feel like.

[Aaron Kenck]

Unless you're Harrison Ford.

[JPC]

That's true. That's true.

[Adol Refai]

If Harrison Ford said. If I said I love you to Harrison Ford and he said I love you, too, I would not believe it. I'd be like, Harrison Ford. You're famously kind of crotchety. I don't think you love me. I think you're trying to get out of this interaction, and you can't.

[Aaron Kenck]

I gotcha.

[Adol Refai]

I got you, Harrison.

[Matt Oberg]

That's a good Harrison Ford impression, Matt. Can we hear that again?

[JPC]

I love you, too. Is that. That's just Batman.

[Aaron Kenck]

Have you been watching. What's it called on shrinking?

[JPC]

Shrinking. I haven't done the work. No, I should.

[Adol Refai]

I haven't done the work.

[Aaron Kenck]

I watched the first two episodes. I have not done the work. It's good. It's very good.

[Adol Refai]

After the first two episodes. Do you mean of the first season or of the second season?

[Aaron Kenck]

That came out first season.

[Adol Refai]

Great.

[JPC]

My podcast mate, Kristen Schall, in our new podcast, she got some huge box of swag from shrinking, and we were the beneficiaries of that. And then we have, like, two shrinking pickleball paddles in a gigantic, like, shrinking water service. So we're fans.

[Adol Refai]

Did she do an episode of shrinking or is she on the show? No, we don't know.

[JPC]

I don't know. But they wanted her to be aware.

[Adol Refai]

Of shrinking.

[JPC]

Of shrinking. And now we are.

[Aaron Kenck]

And now. Yeah. And now everyone at the pickleball court knows all about it. I'm gonna get through these four riddles that will did, and then we'll take a quick break.

[Adol Refai]

Okay.

[Aaron Kenck]

I have many, many rings, though don't like to be showy. You may call me shady, but guess what? You're below me.

[Matt Oberg]

Whoa. Oh, Saturn.

[Aaron Kenck]

That's just a poem I wrote about how I feel about you guys.

[Adol Refai]

Wow.

[Matt Oberg]

Is it Saturn? Is Saturn above us?

[Aaron Kenck]

No. That is a really good guess. That's actually really great, Adam.

[JPC]

Uranus.

[Aaron Kenck]

No. And I wish. High five. High five. Spray bottle, spray bottle, spray bottle.

[Adol Refai]

I was too busy holding both hands over my crack because I knew the spray was coming.

[Aaron Kenck]

So, so funny. I have many, many rings that don't like to be showy. You may call me shady, but guess what?

[Matt Oberg]

Oh, it's a tree.

[Aaron Kenck]

It's a tree.

[Matt Oberg]

It's like a given tree or something.

[Adol Refai]

Adam, what was the first name that you said?

[Matt Oberg]

Bill Russell.

[Adol Refai]

Bill Russell.

[Matt Oberg]

I was more rings than anybody else in the NBA.

[Adol Refai]

Doesn't it feel like Mickey Rourke probably just wears a lot of rings.

[Matt Oberg]

Johnny Depp does.

[Adol Refai]

Johnny Depp.

[Matt Oberg]

A lot of rings and bangles. Yeah.

[JPC]

Billy Bob Thornton kind of a bunch of rings.

[Matt Oberg]

Vial of butterfly blood around his neck.

[Adol Refai]

Have you ever worn an auxiliary ring? Like, not a. Not you, Aaron. I'm asking Matt and Adol if they've ever.

[Aaron Kenck]

I can't be part of the conversation.

[Adol Refai]

Well, okay. Why?

[Aaron Kenck]

Because I have a bunch of stuff on me all the time.

[JPC]

We all know you probably wear a ton of rings. Let's be honest.

[Aaron Kenck]

I do. I do. To fidget with.

[Adol Refai]

I have one friend in my life who I'll remain nameless who wears. Hey, Aaron, what's the word for like, auxiliary rings? Like jewelry? I guess it's just jewelry, right?

[Aaron Kenck]

Just like rings. Yeah.

[JPC]

Yeah. What would be a non auxiliary ring?

[Adol Refai]

Like a wedding ring? Like a wedding ring is. I think that's like a utility ring.

[Matt Oberg]

Green Lantern ring.

[Adol Refai]

If I saw the Green Lantern wearing a ring, I'd be like, yeah, you need that for your job?

[Matt Oberg]

Yeah.

[Adol Refai]

I just don't see it very.

[JPC]

One key, one ring.

[Adol Refai]

One ring.

[JPC]

That's it.

[Adol Refai]

One ring to rule them all.

[JPC]

But, no, I've never.

[Aaron Kenck]

I got two auxiliary, non, non essential rings on. I got a clatter ring from Galway because all the women in my family have these clatter rings. And the heart famously faces out if you're available and single and faces in when you're in love. And I was recently at home with my nieces, and my niece is familiar with the ring because everyone in my family has one. And she was like, why? Why is your heart facing in? I was like, well, like, I'm in love. So that's. And she went. And she, like, winced, took off my ring and faced it the other way. And I was like, whoa, whoa. Okay. Ok. Guess we're not on board with him yet.

[JPC]

She doesn't approve of who you love or the act of loving?

[Aaron Kenck]

Both. I think anytime there's a romance on a TV show, she's like, blech. And, like, goes in the other room. So not, I think. But also, jury's still out on the guy that I'm seeing for her.

[JPC]

And she has a thick Irish brogue.

[Aaron Kenck]

Yeah, she does.

[Matt Oberg]

I don't approve of your love.

[Aaron Kenck]

Okay, I think you guys are gonna get these next three ones fast. And I'm just putting that out into the universe. Not to put pressure on you, but I'm just sort of manifesting that for you. Okay. A unit of comedy on a weekend night or a quick creation, often in black and white.

[Matt Oberg]

Bit.

[Adol Refai]

Sketch.

[Aaron Kenck]

Sketch. Yes.

[Adol Refai]

I almost said skit. I almost said skit.

[JPC]

That would have been embarrassing.

[Adol Refai]

It has to be skit.

[Aaron Kenck]

Yeah, like an aunt asking about what you do for work. How are all the skits you're doing going?

[Matt Oberg]

How are you bits?

[Aaron Kenck]

I could be a lyric. I could be a pole. Or maybe your local watering hole.

[Matt Oberg]

Bar.

[JPC]

Yes, a bar.

[Aaron Kenck]

You got that so fast. A beast.

[Adol Refai]

You were right about us getting these.

[Aaron Kenck]

I know. See, I just believed in you and then you could do it. That's what it is.

[JPC]

I haven't even rung in yet. Here, Here we go.

[Aaron Kenck]

A beast of burden or a throat that's sore if I see JP Horse. Yes. You didn't even need the last line.

[Adol Refai]

Wow.

[Aaron Kenck]

You each got one, too. And I believed in you. All right, everybody, you deserve a quick rest. We're gonna do some Capri Suns and orange slices in the break, and then we'll see you when we get back.

[JPC]

Okay? I love you.

[Aaron Kenck]

Love you, love you.

[JPC]

I Know, I know, I know.

[Matt Oberg]

Boosters.

[Aaron Kenck]

Check.

[Matt Oberg]

Rocket check. Money. Money, guys. Money.

[Aaron Kenck]

Oh, actually, I have a little bit of money because I've been using Rocket Money.

[Matt Oberg]

Oh, Aaron, what's Rocket Money?

[Aaron Kenck]

It's a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. JPC clearly didn't do that because he's backing out of this rocket. Sort of shrugging.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, gosh. You were all talking about Rocket Money and I was selling parts of this rocket for money that I was then using on a bunch of monthly subscriptions.

[Aaron Kenck]

Yeah. And you weren't keeping track of them? Well, Rocket Money's dashboard gives you a clear view of your expenses across all your accounts. So you can easily create a personalized budget with custom categories to help keep your spending on track. See your monthly spending trends in each category to know exactly where your money is going. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

[Matt Oberg]

And I just found here, tell me if this is right. Rocket Money has over 5 million users and has saved a total of 500 million in canceled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year when they use all of the app's premium features.

[Aaron Kenck]

Uh huh.

[Matt Oberg]

$740 is what I need to get my rocket to get me into space.

[Aaron Kenck]

They will even try to negotiate lower bills for you. They automatically scan your bills to find opportunities to save. Then you can ask them to negotiate for you. They'll with customer service so you don't have to. It's like having an assistant.

[Adol Refai]

So cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Download the Rocket Money app and enter my show name. Hey, Riddle, riddle in the survey so they know I sent you. Don't wait. Download the Rocket Money app today and tell them you heard about them from my show.

[Matt Oberg]

Whoa, guys, I'm doing it.

[Adol Refai]

Look.

[Matt Oberg]

Oh, wait. Oh, I can fly. Sorry, guys. I can fly.

[Aaron Kenck]

Oh, this is a dream. I knew it.

[Adol Refai]

Okay, this podcast is sponsored by Squarespace.

[Aaron Kenck]

Adult jpc.

[Matt Oberg]

Hey, what's up, Aaron?

[Aaron Kenck]

Can I show you something?

[Adol Refai]

Ooh, anything.

[Aaron Kenck]

I am keeping track of all of JPC's crimes against humanity. And I decided to make a new website using Squarespace.

[Matt Oberg]

Oh, yeah, that's actually cool.

[Adol Refai]

Squarespace is perfect for that because they're the all in one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online. Whether you're just starting out or scaling your business, Squarespace gives you everything you need to claim your domain, showcase your offerings with a professional website, grow your brand, and get paid all in One place.

[Aaron Kenck]

Jpc. I'm so glad you have a good attitude about this.

[Adol Refai]

Hey, you know, all press is good press. Or any. Any good press is. I did press a lot of people. Is that something that is. That's on the website. Wow, look at that.

[Aaron Kenck]

Well, you have it. Squarespace makes it easy to showcase your expertise and engage clients with video content on your website. Upload and organize your videos, create stunning video libraries and even monetize your content by adding a paywall. Perfect for online courses, exclusive tutorials and premium workshops. Or videos of JPC pressing on people's noses way too hard.

[Matt Oberg]

Oh yeah, and if you want to, I don't know, support JPC or just donate because you feel bad for what he's done. Squarespace has donations you can fundraise directly on your website and grow your impact with built in donation tools. Create a professional on brand website that makes it easy to accept one time or recurring contributions and engage supporters.

[Adol Refai]

Plus, Squarespace has SEO tools. You can get discovered fast with integrated Squarespace SEO tools. Every website is optimized to be indexed with meta descriptions, an auto generated sitemap and more. So you show up more often on search engines and bring in more of your ideal customers. Like say someone is googling like JPC crime. They might find our website much faster because we're on Squarespace.

[Aaron Kenck]

My website, not our website.

[Adol Refai]

Wait, I don't get. I don't get. There's not like a little kickback for I don't get What?

[Aaron Kenck]

Head to squarespace.com riddle for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, use offer code riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

[Matt Oberg]

You ate the pyramids. Sorry, I just went on Aaron's website. You ate the pyramids?

[Adol Refai]

I ate a pyramids jpc.

[Aaron Kenck]

Yeah, it's the same thing. It's the ones in Egypt.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah, those are the ones I ate.

[Matt Oberg]

Yeah, that's our jpc.

[Aaron Kenck]

Jpc. Good news. I got something for Moriah for Mother's Day.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, that's so nice. I also got a little something for Mariah for Mother's Day.

[Aaron Kenck]

Well, Beverly Shubadoo did my alter ego that's trying to steal your wife.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah, that makes sense. Mine is a Beverly Shoebudou repellent spray and Mariah can just kind of clip it to her little lapel. And then if any Beverly Shoebudoos get too close, it spritz. Spritz. Game over.

[Aaron Kenck]

She's not going to want to use it. You know what she does want and what I got her is an Aura digital picture frame.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, that's a better gift.

[Aaron Kenck]

Yeah.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, that's a better gift.

[Aaron Kenck]

Aura Frames was named the best digital photo frame by Wirecutter and featured in 495 gift guides last year. So the next time you need to call your mom, you can send her a new pic of you from that trip you're telling her all about, right from your phone. So I can sort of send photos of Beverly Shubadu blowing kisses. Beverly Shubidoo sort of writing her letters. I can send it right to your house and she can see it in the photo frame.

[Adol Refai]

I don't.

[Aaron Kenck]

Your frame.

[Adol Refai]

I mean, the functionality is great. I don't love the execution of it. Adol, you want to jump in here?

[Aaron Kenck]

Adol's on my side.

[Matt Oberg]

Yeah, I'll say. Two years ago, I got my mom an aura frame. It's her favorite gift she's ever received. She won't stop talking about it. Sometimes I'll come to visit her and she's like, why'd you come? I have all these photos of you. No need. So it almost. It's almost too good a gift. Too good of a gift.

[Adol Refai]

Aura has a great deal for Mother's Day. For a limited time, listeners can save on the perfect gift by visiting auraframes.com to get $35 off plus free shipping on their best selling Carver mat frame. That's Aura A U R A frames.com promo code. Riddle. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply.

[Aaron Kenck]

Happy Mother's Day, Mariah from Beverly.

[Adol Refai]

Shuba doo shooba doo.

[Aaron Kenck]

And I trust you're going to play this for her.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, she won't listen. All right, Aaron, I am hungry for some more riddles.

[Aaron Kenck]

Oh, yeah? Well, I'm fresh out.

[Matt Oberg]

Oh, Aaron, please, no more riddles.

[Aaron Kenck]

No more riddles.

[Matt Oberg]

Come back some more.

[Aaron Kenck]

I guess I could plant some. Fine, fine. I will do some. Matt, how are you feeling about riddles so far?

[JPC]

I mean, you. If I'm being honest, you know, finally.

[Matt Oberg]

Someone says what we all been wanting to say.

[JPC]

I mean, it's new to me, so it's fun. But I can understand if you've been in Riddletown for a little too long. It just says, you know, but I'm enjoying it.

[Adol Refai]

I think it's funny to track Aaron's just. Over the course of the last hour, her relationship to Reynolds has changed four or five times. It was like she hated them. She committed herself to loving them. She had fun with one. And now she seems like done with the concept of them.

[Matt Oberg]

She's going through Keibler's seven stages of.

[Aaron Kenck]

I think that's why my niece flipped my ring around. She was like, girl, you're a mess. I don't know about all that.

[Adol Refai]

Aaron, you might have done the riddle.

[Matt Oberg]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Adol Refai]

You might want to take your rose quartz back to the store and see if maybe we could get it tested because it feels like maybe.

[Aaron Kenck]

No, it works. No, a witch sold it to me. It worked.

[Adol Refai]

Aaron, what do you do? Which one do you hit? We need to play a game. Which one do you hit? If you're like a wizard is approaching you in a parking lot? Like, are you jamming that rose quartz? Are you hitting the alarm?

[Aaron Kenck]

Okay, I got some options.

[Adol Refai]

Is it your apartment key? You're like, come on over.

[Aaron Kenck]

Oh, my God. I assume I'm going to be using my bottle opener. Are we not having a beer? I'm pretty sure big, big robes, Big.

[Adol Refai]

Hat, 2 Michelob Ultra is just walking across the parking lot.

[Aaron Kenck]

I got this bottle opener from friend of the show, Jasper Cartwright, who was on our show a few years ago. Also another Head Gummer. Hey, how about that, everybody?

[JPC]

Now every time you unlock your car, you think of your time together.

[Aaron Kenck]

Exactly. Exactly.

[Adol Refai]

I also don't know how I feel about calling someone a Headgummer. I don't think I've heard it phrases before.

[Aaron Kenck]

What are we called?

[JPC]

I. Yeah, sounds pretty cool to me.

[Adol Refai]

I guess it's fine to be a Head Gummer. I feel like if someone called me a headgummer in any other context, I'd be like, fuck you. You don't know what I do. Yeah, Head Gummer.

[JPC]

It's what you are, though. So, yeah, get in.

[Adol Refai]

Headcommer. It kind of sounds like what my baby went through before they, you know, grew teeth. Like, I'm like, yeah, he's like a little Head gummer.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Matt Oberg]

What about Choo Choo? Is that fun? You know, because what do you do with gum? You chew it.

[Adol Refai]

Chew it.

[Matt Oberg]

But you can't call someone a chew because that sounds like there's something more to come. So Choo Choo sounds like a breed of dog, of course.

[JPC]

But you're trying.

[Adol Refai]

A train does.

[JPC]

You're trying to get after, like a swifty kind of fan base name. Like, who are Lady Gagas? The.

[Matt Oberg]

The little Monsters. The little monsters.

[JPC]

I think the monsters. Little monsters.

[Aaron Kenck]

We've had what was ours? Horny Lizards. We had a name. Future Lizards. What was I thinking of?

[JPC]

That is a thing. A horned lizard.

[Adol Refai]

That's right.

[JPC]

Aren't those the ones that spit blood out of their eyes?

[Matt Oberg]

Yeah, sir. Blood out of their eyes.

[JPC]

Rare blood.

[Aaron Kenck]

Okay. That's gonna make me look young forever.

[Adol Refai]

I feel like both times rare blood has come up, Matt has been the one kind of pushing the rare blood.

[Aaron Kenck]

Sort of a blood guy, I guess.

[Matt Oberg]

You have a new weird pet store, Is that right? You want to.

[Aaron Kenck]

Yeah.

[Adol Refai]

Well, Matt, do you do. On the extraordinarians podcast, do you have a name for your listeners yet?

[JPC]

Well, the podcast is as we're recording this in real life. It has not come out yet, so we don't have any listeners. But no, I'm open to suggestions.

[Adol Refai]

I forgot we had Tony on the show and it felt like so long ago, but I'm like, oh, yeah, we had Tony on the show to promote the show and his episode hasn't come out yet since recording this. So it's not out yet.

[JPC]

It could come out this week.

[Adol Refai]

This week?

[JPC]

No, we don't have a name for extraordinarian nation yet. So please.

[Adol Refai]

Well, I'm sorry to say that future lizards is already taken, so you'll have to come up with something that is not future lizards. That's our domain.

[JPC]

Okay.

[Aaron Kenck]

What about swifties?

[JPC]

Yeah. What about horny lizards? No horny lizards.

[Aaron Kenck]

Butterfly blood Butterfly.

[JPC]

The butterfly blood lizards.

[Matt Oberg]

Well, but then you run up against the butterfly crypts, which is gonna be a real mess.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah, you really don't wanna do that.

[Aaron Kenck]

So I lost my page in this book, so I'm gonna wing it. I had sometimes.

[Matt Oberg]

Wait, what does that mean?

[Aaron Kenck]

I had it bookmarked and I had. And I can't find where I was. But I'm going to read some other riddles from it.

[Matt Oberg]

Oh, okay.

[Aaron Kenck]

From the lateral.

[JPC]

Does the universe guide you to the riddle?

[Matt Oberg]

Exactly.

[Aaron Kenck]

I'm using my rose quartz.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Aaron Kenck]

To sort of guide me to what is supposed to happen next. Okay. So in this book, I would say these feel less riddles and more like. And adol. I know you hate this, but more like facts that you sort of have to suss out and get to. So you're just going to try to like think like a lot of these are like historically significant or real life examples. And you'll see what I mean. And you just sort of have to like suss out why. It's more like solving a little mystery.

[JPC]

It's a classic lateral puzzle.

[Aaron Kenck]

There you go. And see, you're all that. You know exactly what it was the whole time.

[JPC]

I've been more of a vertical puzzle guy, but.

[Matt Oberg]

All right, you're Old lad at this lad, of course. Short for lateral.

[Aaron Kenck]

Okay. Why did Alexander the Great order all his men to shave?

[JPC]

Why did Alexander Great order all his men to shave?

[Adol Refai]

Aaron. I know, and it does help to.

[Aaron Kenck]

Say it, that sort of cadence.

[JPC]

Why did Alexander Great.

[Adol Refai]

Is this like the one where it's.

[Aaron Kenck]

Like you're in a date, like the.

[Adol Refai]

Armies and the sleevies?

[Aaron Kenck]

No, it's not a joke. So these are not a joke. This. I can't. This is not a joke. This riddle book. Some riddles are jokes. These are not jokes. These are. That's a real reason. Yeah.

[Matt Oberg]

I gotta be honest. I. In my head, in my mind's eye, I was picturing when Matt said it that way. I was picturing him pacing back and forth in court like he's making. Yeah, he's making a case for the.

[Aaron Kenck]

Jury of like, dabbing his brow. Why did Alexander the Great wear all.

[Matt Oberg]

His men to just that lawyer cadence of like.

[JPC]

Ladies and gentlemen, I. I did play a lawyer on TV in a Heart of Dixie. And they. It. That show is set in the south. And I. They were like, please come in with a Southern accent. And I did like Foghorn Leghorn. It was the best. Oh, we gotta hear it, Joanna. You know, And I was like. I said to the. I was like, I don't feel great about this accent. They're like, ah, it's fine. It's fine. And then I came back for another season and just stopped doing the accent.

[Aaron Kenck]

Nobody noticed or said, okay, I. Sorry, guys. I didn't. I'm a huge Veep fan, so I was already a little starstruck. And now that I know you are in Heart of Dixie, I'm going to lose my fucking mind. I watched all of that show, and I cannot stress it enough. One sitting, one summer, one sitting. I injected. Did Heart of Dixie into my veins.

[JPC]

It was Covid. You know, we were all going through.

[Aaron Kenck]

Yeah, Covid. Not several years before that. Yeah, yeah, sure.

[Matt Oberg]

Matt, I hope Daniel Craig follows your lead in the new Knives up.

[JPC]

It's funny when you're watching a movie and you think, like, it's going to be a bit. That that accent is bad. Right? And then the bit never like, Don Cheadle in that Ocean's Eleven. You're like, surely he's going to.

[Matt Oberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Aaron Kenck]

Anyway, if accents on Heart of Dixie, everyone was swinging for those big Southern accents, so yours fit right in.

[Matt Oberg]

Matt. The one we bring up the most, or at least jpc, and I bring it up the most, is John Malkovich in Rounders. I don't know if you've ever seen that, but he plays, like, Tony KGB or something. His accent is, like, syrupy Russian.

[JPC]

Instagram served me up like a Matt Damon interview snippet. And it's always like when you're so ashamed of what the algorithm is putting in front of you, but you eat it anyway. He tells a story about hearing Malkovich do that on the first day. John Malkovich looks at him and goes, I'm a terrible actor.

[Aaron Kenck]

That's so funny.

[Adol Refai]

Wow, that's so funny.

[JPC]

Did Alexander Gray. But this is a true thing that he really.

[Aaron Kenck]

That's the true thing. Yeah.

[JPC]

Was it lights?

[Aaron Kenck]

No. But I like that you're thinking like this. The accent that has been popular in my house lately has been the dealer from Casino Royale who's like, Mr. Bond, fold. That's pretty good.

[JPC]

That's fun when you guys are doing laundry.

[Aaron Kenck]

Why did Alexander the Great order all his men to shave?

[Matt Oberg]

Is this something to do with, like, in battle, somebody can't pull, like, pull their beard?

[Aaron Kenck]

Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Is that real? That is literally what it is. Bearded men could be grabbed by the beard in close combat. I would like to see a scene.

[Matt Oberg]

I'm just going off when I fight. And I always yank on the beard.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah. Beard balls back. Places.

[Matt Oberg]

The three B's. The three B's.

[JPC]

You gotta get rid of all of them.

[Aaron Kenck]

Matt and Adol, you are two of Alexander the Great's men who clearly did not shave. And JBC or Alexander the Great sort of cussing them out.

[Adol Refai]

All right, men, today we ride to bat. What? What the. Chris, Trevor, to the front. Both of you guys to the front.

[Matt Oberg]

Are we in trouble?

[JPC]

Alexander, please. I was just. I'm trying to get ready for this here coming battle.

[Adol Refai]

No, no. And I know everyone's from all over because I'm a conqueror or whatever, but the rules apply to. Look, turn around, you guys face the rest of the army. What do you see? Clean shaven faces.

[Matt Oberg]

Yeah, I just thought they were young.

[Aaron Kenck]

We said we were willing to shave in the audition, so.

[JPC]

And I did not.

[Matt Oberg]

Here's some lemonade. Can't. Can't. And call me Sorry, Alex. Call me dumb.

[Adol Refai]

Alexander, we're not friends, you and I.

[Matt Oberg]

Okay, call me dumb, but can our opponents also just grab us by the hair? Are we shaving our heads now, too?

[Aaron Kenck]

What?

[Adol Refai]

Take your helmets off. Oh, my God, you guys still have hair.

[JPC]

I got a ponytail as long as the Mississippi.

[Adol Refai]

Well, I don't know where that is, but look. Okay, I Guess. I guess everyone in the army.

[JPC]

I'll tell you.

[Adol Refai]

No, I don't want to know. I don't want to know. I guess everyone in the army is just doing their own thing. But you know what? That's not the way armies work, okay? It was a simple instructions. Shave face, shave heads, and, you know, it's just. It's just astounding that the two of you can't follow simple instructions. What are you hiding under those beards?

[Matt Oberg]

I mean, I have a weak chin.

[JPC]

You do. As do I. It is a shame. I've carried all these years.

[Matt Oberg]

Oh, my God, I feel so close to you. I feel connected. Tethered, even. I would die for you. I would take a spear to the tummy for you.

[JPC]

If you show me your weak chin, I will show you mine.

[Adol Refai]

Wait a second. This gives me an idea for a new way to fight. In combat, we put everyone with weak chins in the front lines. They die out, we don't have to worry about them. Kind of like messing up by, like, Alexander the Great gene pool with their, like, weak recessive chins. Huh?

[JPC]

Weak chins, strong hearts.

[Matt Oberg]

Weak chins, strong hearts. Weak chin, strong.

[Adol Refai]

Whatever, guys.

[Aaron Kenck]

See, weak chins, strong hearts, can't lose.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Aaron Kenck]

All right.

[JPC]

That was fun.

[Aaron Kenck]

That was fun. I cannot believe that I'm talking to someone from Heart of Dixie. Truly.

[JPC]

Oh, yeah.

[Adol Refai]

From Heart of Dixie.

[JPC]

Can you. Do you guys want to guess what my character name was?

[Aaron Kenck]

I can't. Wait, were you related to Lemon? That's the only name I remember now.

[Matt Oberg]

Was it, like, Percy?

[JPC]

It's close.

[Adol Refai]

I'm gonna guess it was Huxtable Primrose.

[JPC]

It was Scooter McGreevy. Ooh, that rocks pretty good.

[Adol Refai]

Scooter McCready.

[Matt Oberg]

Sounds like a new Denny's dish.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah.

[Aaron Kenck]

Were you a romantic interest for Rachel Bilson on the show?

[JPC]

Oh, no, no. Never had the pleasure of sharing the screen with Rachel, but I. Plus the romantic interest for someone briefly, and I forget who they were.

[Aaron Kenck]

Perfect.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Adol Refai]

Scooter McGreevy. Come a court.

[Matt Oberg]

Scooter, meet me in the gazebo.

[JPC]

Which gazebo.

[Matt Oberg]

Pans around in his 500 gazebos?

[Aaron Kenck]

I will say, you guys, that show was. I'm not even kidding. Mostly gazebos, if you could believe that.

[JPC]

Yeah, well, I'm convinced they. Warner Brothers produced that show because they have that famous backlot from, like, Back to the Future. That's a town square city hall, and they're like, we gotta shoot something in here.

[Matt Oberg]

I would love if they had, like, a warehouse full of gazebos and like, we gotta offload these. We gotta. We gotta make.

[Aaron Kenck]

Can we get a writer on the horn? My God.

[Matt Oberg]

So you filmed on the back future lot?

[JPC]

Yeah. It's still.

[Matt Oberg]

I mean, that's amazing.

[JPC]

That's the Warner Brothers lot. It's all. It's all there.

[Matt Oberg]

That's cool as hell.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Aaron Kenck]

All right. Couple more riddles.

[Adol Refai]

Yes, please.

[Aaron Kenck]

This time with a good attitude. I'm really back on board. Here we go. A boxer left the ring after winning the world championship. His trainer took all the money, and he never got a cent. Why not?

[JPC]

I know it.

[Aaron Kenck]

Tell us.

[Adol Refai]

He never got a sentence in smell.

[Aaron Kenck]

No, he never got a scent. As in.

[Matt Oberg]

I was just like, Don King was a money.

[JPC]

He probably got lots of scents because he's a dog.

[Adol Refai]

Dog.

[Aaron Kenck]

Yes. Mystery solved.

[JPC]

I was in my brain a lateral puzzle.

[Adol Refai]

I was going all of the wrong directions. I was like, okay, scent. In other words, for. That's a smell trainer. Also a shoe. I'm like, I'm doing way more work.

[JPC]

Than needs to be done here.

[Aaron Kenck]

I'd like to see maybe one last scene. I don't know. Jpc, you are one of those, like, classic cinematic trainers. And, Matt, you're the dog that he's giving a pep talk to before you get in the ring to box.

[Adol Refai]

Okay?

[JPC]

I don't know. I don't think I could go out there. It's gonna be rough.

[Adol Refai]

Okay, look, you don't. You don't have to win. That's all I.

[Matt Oberg]

That.

[Adol Refai]

You just have to go out there and give it your all for four rounds and then go down. That's all you have to do. Okay? No one's expecting you to win.

[JPC]

What are you saying? I have to go down in the fourth or I should go down in the fourth?

[Adol Refai]

I'm not saying that you absolutely need to go down in the fourth, but if you felt like you could make it to the fourth, that would be kind of, like, ideal for, like, all the parties. You don't even. You could run around for a long time because he's gonna have to punch really low to hit you.

[JPC]

Yeah, but wait a second. How big am I? How big of a dog am I fighting here?

[Adol Refai]

Oh, honey, honey, no, no, no, no, no, you're not. You're gonna be fighting a human.

[JPC]

What?

[Matt Oberg]

And here we go. We're in the fourth round. Evander Holyfield versus Oreo and event. So far, Holyfield is absolutely demolishing Oreo. Oh, and here's a wind up from Holyfield. Oh, and it looks like the trainer Oreo's trainer in the corner is giving him a signal to sit. Roll over. Oh, no. What a scandal we're seeing here today, folks.

[Adol Refai]

Wait, is it obvious that's what I'm doing? Uh oh.

[JPC]

That was improvised, by the way.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah. I would love a boxing commentator commentating live in a boxing match, being like, well, it looks like his trainer is having him throw the fight. You can just say that.

[JPC]

I've never been to a dog show and never been to a. A boxing match either. I got a. Those would be great to go to.

[Aaron Kenck]

What do you think you'd have a better time at?

[JPC]

I've been to a cat show.

[Matt Oberg]

Whoa.

[JPC]

That was amazing.

[Aaron Kenck]

I like when they hold the cats like guns.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah, they're like lengthwise.

[JPC]

Cats are huge.

[Matt Oberg]

I do that with my cats where I. I cock them Now.

[Adol Refai]

Adol. I thought of trepidation of you not saying cock them, and then you ended up saying cock them.

[Matt Oberg]

I was trying to find a better term.

[JPC]

No other way to say it.

[Matt Oberg]

Yeah, reload. I reload my cats.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Matt Oberg]

Like Henry Cavill reloads his arms in Mission Impossible. Now, Matt, do you have any cats?

[JPC]

I don't. We would. Everybody loves it. My wife.

[Adol Refai]

Yard full of butterflies.

[JPC]

Yeah. But my wife's allergic, so. And one of my daughters, so that. That would. It's a bummer. So we don't have any pets right now, but it's. It's one of our goals.

[Aaron Kenck]

It's the best. Pets are the best.

[Adol Refai]

You got to develop that cat inoculation. You got to get those cat shots, and so eventually you can not be allergic to cats anymore.

[JPC]

That works.

[Adol Refai]

I know no one who's ever done it, but I do know that it is a service that can be done. But I also know that allergies just change over time because I used to be allergic to cats, and I'm not anymore.

[Aaron Kenck]

I know someone that did it with dogs, and it worked, so.

[JPC]

Wow, that's a. They're secure. I had no idea.

[Aaron Kenck]

Want to do one more riddle before we get to plugs and hear about your new podcast?

[Matt Oberg]

Just real quick. JPC pounced on me, saying I cocked my cat and yet would.

[Aaron Kenck]

Well, you're pouncing on your cat.

[Adol Refai]

Aaron said I used to do it with dog.

[Matt Oberg]

What? Aaron said, I know someone who did it with a dog. Oh, we leave suddenly, we don't want to talk. Touch that, I guess.

[JPC]

Okay, she did say that. That's funny. Look.

[Matt Oberg]

Thank you.

[Aaron Kenck]

Say dog. And she jumped up.

[Adol Refai]

Aaron said, I know someone who did it with a dog. I knew that that was about me. So I didn't want. I didn't want to jump on her because I'm just pointing every gun right back at me.

[Aaron Kenck]

All right, last riddle. Last lateral thinking puzzle. What took 19 years to get into itself?

[Matt Oberg]

What took 19 years to get into itself?

[Adol Refai]

Is this like Frasier or like.

[Aaron Kenck]

Yeah, Frasier. Didn't start watching frasier until season seven.

[Matt Oberg]

They really hit their stride in year 19.

[JPC]

You know, this is actually very good.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, shut up, Niles. This is my Frasier.

[Matt Oberg]

Denial's not just a brother on Frasier.

[Adol Refai]

19 years to get into itself. Sounds like a college or something.

[Matt Oberg]

Is this like the Ten Years War?

[Aaron Kenck]

Yeah, Harvard didn't get into Harvard until it was 19.

[Matt Oberg]

Was there a 10 years war? Was there a.

[Adol Refai]

There's a Hundred Years War.

[Matt Oberg]

Hundred Years War.

[JPC]

Great war. Is it some sort of time unit thing, like a.

[Aaron Kenck]

Not a time unit.

[Adol Refai]

Is this something that's like a whiskey or like a wine that's, like, aged or something?

[Aaron Kenck]

No. You guys are thinking of Ouroboros. No. Something you can hold in your hand.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, is it the universe from Men in Black, where it zooms out and it's, like, on a cat's collar or something?

[JPC]

That's what it is.

[Matt Oberg]

It was like, Egger guy wearing an Egger suit.

[Aaron Kenck]

No.

[JPC]

I often think people on the street might be wearing. Is that what it's called, the Egger Suit?

[Matt Oberg]

Yeah. Where they interviewed that woman, and she's like, it looked like Egger, but he was wearing, like, an Egger suit. And he goes, D'Onofrio goes, Give me sugar in water. He's a pretty good D'Onofrio.

[Adol Refai]

Is his name Edgar? Is she trying to say Edgar?

[Matt Oberg]

His name is Edgar, but she's, like, Southern, and she says Egger for forever.

[Adol Refai]

I thought as an expert in the.

[JPC]

Dialect, that's how you do it.

[Adol Refai]

Egger. I thought his name was like, E G G, E R. And I just didn't. I just thought I was like, what an interesting name for a person. I didn't understand that. It was like, Edgar, before I lose.

[Matt Oberg]

It, let me just. Matthew Murdoch. Oh, Daredevil. Come here. It's me, Kingpin. I lost it. Never mind.

[JPC]

I don't know.

[Matt Oberg]

Full Metal Jacket. Nah, I lost it.

[Adol Refai]

Full Metal Jacket. Yeah. He famously says the title of the movie in that.

[Matt Oberg]

If you don't leave me alone, I'm gonna go Full Metal Jacket.

[JPC]

Yeah. What's your sort of key phrase for getting into that? D'no Frio. How do you lock in like that?

[Matt Oberg]

Full Metal Jacket.

[Adol Refai]

Aaron. So the number 19, is that like, super.

[Aaron Kenck]

That's not gonna be helpful. It's just. Okay, it's not like it's something that.

[Matt Oberg]

Is this, like a book. It's a Bible.

[Aaron Kenck]

Yeah.

[JPC]

19. It's the Bible.

[Aaron Kenck]

No, it's something like that.

[Adol Refai]

It took 19 years to get.

[Aaron Kenck]

And it might be second place to the Bible in itself.

[Matt Oberg]

Dan Brown's Angels and demons.

[JPC]

Yes, the new agent.

[Aaron Kenck]

We talk about angels and demons in the Da Vinci Code so much on the show. Why is it this is not in the culture anymore? Why does this come up so much? What is wrong with us?

[Adol Refai]

I would love it if you went to the airport, you saw a copy of the Da Vinci Code, and it had big bold letters like a sticker on the front that just said second popular to the Bible.

[JPC]

Not in the culture anymore.

[Adol Refai]

Okay, so it's a super popular book.

[JPC]

And your own opinion is that it's the second best book, second to the Bible.

[Adol Refai]

This is the Quran.

[Aaron Kenck]

Well, not in my opinion. Not my opinion. It's just.

[Adol Refai]

This is sales.

[JPC]

Yes, in sales.

[Aaron Kenck]

And why would it be in itself? The dictionary in itself. It took 19 years to get into itself.

[Matt Oberg]

It's the dictionary.

[Aaron Kenck]

The dictionary. Oh, oh, not the dictionary.

[JPC]

The encyclopedia.

[Aaron Kenck]

No, much more.

[Adol Refai]

Guinness Book of World Records.

[Aaron Kenck]

Guinness Book of World Records. Fuck that book.

[Adol Refai]

Whoa, wait. What does it have the record for most book of world record?

[Aaron Kenck]

2Nd most sold book of all time, Which I thought, I don't know, if I didn't realize that there was second place would get a spot in the book.

[Adol Refai]

Well, it does if you write the book. If you write the book, second place gets a trophy.

[JPC]

Is that true?

[Aaron Kenck]

That lateral thinking book that I don't know where it's from says so it must be true.

[Matt Oberg]

I do want to see a quick scene. I want to see a quick scene. Matt and Aaron, you're a couple and it's December 31st and it's like 20 minutes till midnight. Your one goal for this year was to break a world record. You're almost out of time, so you're panicking to try and find a record to break.

[Aaron Kenck]

Okay, we're in so much debt trying all this stuff.

[JPC]

Okay, maybe we're the most in debt forever trying to break a world record.

[Aaron Kenck]

No, the neighbors already did that. That's why we're competing against them. Okay, let's see. Most annoying. No.

[Adol Refai]

Best.

[JPC]

No, no. Loudest.

[Aaron Kenck]

Oh, yeah.

[Adol Refai]

Loudest.

[Aaron Kenck]

Loudest.

[JPC]

Silliest.

[Aaron Kenck]

Angriest.

[JPC]

No, Sort of a subjective.

[Aaron Kenck]

Okay, we got 10 seconds.

[JPC]

Okay. Quickest.

[Aaron Kenck]

Ooh, yeah, we could do something so quick. What if we Hungriest.

[JPC]

Hungriest peckish. I could eat four, three.

[Aaron Kenck]

I want a divorce.

[JPC]

I love you.

[Aaron Kenck]

I know.

[Matt Oberg]

Happy New Year. I love just going most. No, busiest.

[JPC]

No, no, least.

[Matt Oberg]

Least.

[Adol Refai]

The newspaper flash hits the screen and it's like most doomed couple.

[Aaron Kenck]

Well, Matt, we would love to hear about your new head gum. The pod, because you're a head gummer now.

[JPC]

Was that lateral puzzle purposefully picked to segue into the theme of the podcast?

[Adol Refai]

Twas pretty much.

[JPC]

Oh, wow. Really good.

[Aaron Kenck]

Yeah.

[JPC]

Well, it's funny you should mention World Records, because I am doing a podcast, which I'm just learning to talk about now, so bear with me. But it's me and Tony Hale and from Veep and Arrested Development, that guy. And Kristen Shaw from everything Bob's Burgers and play the Concord.

[Matt Oberg]

Concords.

[JPC]

Yeah. And we speak to people who essentially have broken a world record, but could also have accomplished something in this sort of unlikely realm. So we've spoken. We have, you know, 20 minute conversations with. With people who have broke the record for highest slack line. This guy walked a slack line between two hot air balloons. So it wasn't the longest slack line. It was just elevation. A young man who did the most flips in one bounce from a trampoline.

[Matt Oberg]

Whoa, Jesus.

[JPC]

Twin sisters who do dog sled racing. And we thought we've, you know, so this podcast comes out in April, which, you know, your listeners will.

[Adol Refai]

The distant past.

[JPC]

Yes. But I honestly thought these conversations would. These people would be just wild. But they've been a lot more kind of inspiring and profound than I thought they would be. It's sort of about ambition and confidence and risk taking and, you know, being true to your own desire, you know, in a way that.

[Matt Oberg]

That's awesome.

[JPC]

Yeah. These are people who. Who have, you know, are doing pretty out there things just to sort of please themselves, you know, so. Yeah, and they're kind of funny as well.

[Matt Oberg]

So.

[JPC]

And. And it's. Maybe you guys have this experience as well, but it's kind of fun to have conversations with strangers that have kind of a time limit. You know, you're like, oh, wow. So. So you get to. So sort of like speed data. You get to an insight into these people's lives. You can kind of just ask them questions in a way that. But you can't in a real world scenario. And then after whatever the allotted time is, you're like, okay, well, you got anything to plug and.

[Matt Oberg]

Do you want kids or. No, because that's going to be a Big deal.

[JPC]

Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, that's the podcast and we have other little bits that sort of surround those interviews, but we'll see. It's, you know, we're in that moment right now where we're like, I don't know what the reaction will be, but. But it was fun to make, so it's kind of the best place to be, I feel like.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah, for sure.

[Matt Oberg]

That's outstanding. Very exciting.

[Adol Refai]

We'll check out extraordinarians on Headgum. We'll probably throw the link in the show description as well. So you can just go right to our show description and link to their show. Matt, thank you so much for coming on. It was an absolute blast.

[JPC]

Thank you. That was so much fun. You guys are so funny and smart and great at talking.

[Adol Refai]

What do we have to plug?

[Aaron Kenck]

You're the first person to ever say that to us.

[Matt Oberg]

Being sarcastic.

[Aaron Kenck]

Oh, right. Okay. That was a joke.

[Adol Refai]

Aaron, do you have anything that you need to plug?

[Aaron Kenck]

No, I got nothing at all.

[Matt Oberg]

I want to plug Vincent D'Onofrio. If you've never seen the Cell. Pretty mind expanding movie. Pretty trippy. Great performance in that. Just. Yeah, his whole sort of canon is pretty great.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Adol Refai]

And I'll just say very briefly that we're to remind people we're on tour this year. We're going to at least 10 cities. You can get tickets haveridovertel.com live and so we'd love to see you. If we're coming to your city, we'd love to have you come to our show. Okay, Aaron, can we open up that book and do one more lateral thinking problem? Because there's a favorite that you always pose at the end of an episode.

[Aaron Kenck]

I threw it on the ground so I didn't throw the book behind me. So I will just say Jupiter and good night and goodbye.

[Matt Oberg]

And good luck.

[Adol Refai]

Starring Aaron Kenick and John Patrick Collins.

[Matt Oberg]

Casey.

[Adol Refai]

Tony did the editing. Marty Paris in the music.

[JPC]

Logo created.

[Adol Refai]

By Emily Cardamus and Emmeline Forest.

[JPC]

Whoa.

[Adol Refai]

Wow.

[JPC]

Smash cut to a cat's.

[Adol Refai]

That was Casey.

[Matt Oberg]

This is what you're missing with your. When your wife has.

[Aaron Kenck]

Oh, man.

[Matt Oberg]

Has cat allergies, that's what you're missing, Matt.

[Adol Refai]

Casey, I kid you not. That was a cat's asshole.

[JPC]

It was a hyper close.

[Adol Refai]

You have to warn people. You have to warn people before you show up.

[Aaron Kenck]

I'm sorry about Casey. We're horrified. We'll fire him. We're so sorry.

[Adol Refai]

He's done. This is his last day.

[Matt Oberg]

And I gotta tell you, if you read Tarantino's screenplays. So many of them are smash cut.

[JPC]

To a cat's asshole Extreme close up.

[Matt Oberg]

Yeah, they really have to reel him in.

[JPC]

A cat's hairless.

[Adol Refai]

Casey. You're so desperate to get an after credits in every episode that you do shit like this. Just so we have to put the cat's asshole thing up.

[JPC]

What is your cat's?

[Matt Oberg]

That's Trey.

[JPC]

Trey, here, Trey, sit. Trey, right there. Trey, don't move. Perfect.

[Adol Refai]

Hey there, nurses and hearses. If you like that, you are gonna love this week's Patreon. It's improv from a hospital. You can listen to that, plus our entire back [e-mail] haverhinovertle by joining the clue crew for $5 a month or start your 7 day free trial or the review crew for $8 a month. Plus you get those ad free episodes. See you there.

[Aaron Kenck]

That was a headgum podcast.