#355: Hart of Riddixie w/ Matt Oberg

Summary

Hey Riddle Riddle - Episode #355: Hart of Riddixie w/ Matt Oberg

Release Date: May 7, 2025

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Introduction and Guest Welcome

The episode kicks off with the hosts—Aaron, Adol, and John Patrick Coan (JPC)—welcoming comedian and actor Matt Oberg to the show. Matt, known for his role as Kite-Man in the Batman series and appearances in shows like Veep and Heart of Dixie, joins the trio to delve into the world of riddles, puzzles, and improvisational comedy.

Notable Quote:

Adol [00:39]: "Thank you again, Matt, for doing this. We're excited to have you."
Matt Oberg [00:42]: "Gonna be fun. What's the worst that could happen?"

Discussion on Riddles and Personal Relationships

Aaron openly shares his disdain for riddles, humorously confessing, "I hate riddles. I'm back on my hating riddles train, everybody" ([00:48]). This sets the stage for a lively exploration of riddles, balancing both frustration and amusement. The hosts discuss their relationship with various puzzles, including Matt's preference for traditional games like Jeopardy over lateral thinking puzzles.

Notable Quote:

Matt Oberg [05:27]: "I'm big into the New York Times suite of games. The one show that I DVR is Jeopardy."

Riddle-Solving and Improvisational Skits

The core of the episode revolves around solving riddles submitted by listener Will Parsons. Aaron presents a series of two-sentence riddles, prompting the hosts to engage in collaborative and often hilarious problem-solving attempts. The dynamic shifts seamlessly into improvisational skits inspired by the riddles, showcasing the trio's comedic chemistry.

Notable Quotes:

Aaron [13:09]: "I'm always at home, but I never pay rent. Waiting for me would be time long spent." Adol [14:07]: "That was a bit of a Rorschach Test."

Improvised Scenes:

1. Dr. Dad Skit ([09:45]–[12:07]): Matt plays "Dr. Dad," a father-child duo navigating the reluctance of going to school, blending medical jargon with parental authority.
2. Housewarming Party Skit ([15:25]–[17:16]): JPC embodies a turtle hosting a housewarming party, while Matt and Adol attend, leading to humorous interactions about pet-related quirks.

Riddle Highlights and Solutions

Throughout the episode, the hosts tackle various riddles, some of which stumped them initially before arriving at the correct answers through teamwork and wit.

• First Riddle ([13:09]–[27:59]):

  "I'm always at home, but I never pay rent. Waiting for me would be time long spent."
  Solution: "A key."
  Matt [27:02]: "It's a key."

• Second Riddle ([24:30]–[26:42]):

  "I have many jagged teeth and usually stay with a pack. I make my home in a cave, filling up every crack."
  Solution: "A zipper." (Later corrected to "a key.")

• Third Riddle ([32:17]–[37:48]):

  "I have many, many rings, though don't like to be showy. You may call me shady, but guess what? You're below me."
  Solution: Initially thought to be "Saturn," later clarified to reflect personal sentiments.

• Final Riddles ([58:04]–[66:20]): The hosts continue with riddles, blending lateral thinking with historical and everyday scenarios, culminating in discussions about famous world records and their significance.

Improvisational Pep Talks and Skits:

• Boxing Trainer Scene ([58:18]–[60:23]): Matt’s character Oreo receives unconventional advice from JPC as his trainer, blending humor with the absurdity of a dog boxing against human expectations.

Promotion of Matt Oberg’s New Podcast

Towards the episode's conclusion, Matt Oberg introduces his upcoming podcast, "Extraordinarieans," which focuses on interviewing individuals who have broken world records or achieved extraordinary feats in unconventional fields. He emphasizes the inspirational and humorous aspects of these conversations.

Notable Quote:

Matt Oberg [68:42]: "It's about ambition and confidence and risk-taking and being true to your own desire."

Ad Skits and Plugs

The episode includes seamless integrations of advertising segments, creatively woven into the conversational fabric without disrupting the content flow.

• Rocket Money Plug ([36:35]–[38:32]): Adol and JPC humorously interact while promoting Rocket Money’s financial tools.

Notable Quote:

Adol [38:32]: "Whoa, guys, I'm doing it."

• Squarespace Promotion ([38:33]–[42:54]): Aaron and JPC mockingly advertise Squarespace, blending self-deprecating humor with the product's features.

Final Riddles and Closing Skits

In the finale, Aaron presents one last lateral thinking puzzle, prompting another round of comedic attempts and improvisational flair.

Final Riddle ([62:17]–[66:20]):

"What took 19 years to get into itself?"
Solution: "The Dictionary."
Aaron [65:21]: "It's the dictionary. Oh, not the dictionary."

Notable Skit:

• New Year’s Eve World Record Attempt ([66:24]–[68:42]): The hosts improvise a scenario where they rush to break a world record as midnight approaches, leading to chaotic and humorous exchanges.

Conclusion and Final Plugs

The episode wraps up with heartfelt acknowledgments, including Matt’s promotional bits for his podcast and additional plugs for Patreon support. The hosts humorously address recurring themes, like pet allergies and their ongoing comedic mishaps.

Notable Quote:

Matt Oberg [71:21]: "Well, I'm sorry to say that future lizards is already taken, so you'll have to come up with something that is not future lizards. That's our domain."

Closing Remarks:

Aaron [73:02]: "Jupiter and good night and goodbye and this season and good luck. Good luck starting." JPC [73:18]: "Erin K. And John Patrick Cohen."

The episode concludes with playful banter and improvisational antics, reinforcing the show's blend of intellectual challenge and comedic entertainment.

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Key Takeaways:

• Engaging Guest: Matt Oberg brings his comedic talent and improvisational skills, enriching the show's dynamic.

• Balanced Content: The episode expertly balances riddle-solving with hilarious skits, maintaining engagement for both riddle enthusiasts and casual listeners.

• Interactive Humor: The hosts' chemistry shines through their collaborative problem-solving and spontaneous skits, making the content both entertaining and intellectually stimulating.

• Effective Advertising: Advertisements are cleverly integrated into the conversation, ensuring they complement rather than disrupt the flow of content.

Final Thoughts:

Episode #355 of Hey Riddle Riddle successfully melds the intrigue of riddles with the levity of improvisational comedy. Matt Oberg's participation adds a fresh layer of humor and interaction, making this installment a memorable addition to the series. Whether you're a riddle aficionado or simply in for some laughs, this episode offers a delightful blend of both.

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Connect with the Show:

• Website: Headgum - Hey Riddle Riddle
• Patreon: Patreon.com/heyriddleriddle
• Matt Oberg’s Podcast: Extraordinarieans (Launching April 2025)

Transcript

[Aaron]

This is a headgum podcast. This is a mini meditation guided by Bombus. Repeat after me. I'm comfy. I'm cozy. I have zero blisters on my toes. Blisters. And that's because I wear bombus.

[JPC]

The softest socks, underwear, and T shirts that give back.

[Aaron]

One purchased equals one donated. Now go to bombas.com wondery and use code wondery for 20% off your first purchase.

[JPC]

That's B o m b a s.com.

[Aaron]

And use code Wondery at checkout.

[Adol]

Thank you again, Matt, for doing this. We're excited to have you.

[Matt Oberg]

Gonna be fun. What's the worst that could happen?

[JPC]

Hey, amen to that.

[Adol]

Well, Aaron might have a breakdown.

[Aaron]

Yeah, I could have a breakdown. I hate. I hate riddles. I'm back on my hating riddles train, everybody.

[Adol]

This is like a Sisyphus punishment for us.

[Matt Oberg]

Yeah, that's fun.

[JPC]

He stood on a block of ice. Both of them were gold. It was the cannon of an airplane.

[Matt Oberg]

He stabbed him with an ice. And the horses seem riding.

[Aaron]

Adult jbc. Can you help me push this riddle up the hill?

[Adol]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so we're in a.

[JPC]

It's just back into your body. Aaron, you do have a riddle poking out of you as well.

[Aaron]

Oh, God. Is that from me or did it go inside me? Is it from me or. I don't know, is it medical? Do I need it? Do I need it to live?

[Adol]

It's kind of like the le is sticking out of your back. I assume the RIDD is in there somewhere.

[Aaron]

Get it out, get it out, get it out, get it out.

[Adol]

Okay, okay, Aaron, count to three.

[Aaron]

One.

[JPC]

Whoa. Adel, I don't think you should pull a riddle out because I feel like it could be keeping a bunch of riddles inside. You know what I'm saying?

[Adol]

It's like an arrow.

[JPC]

I don't know. I'm in another.

[Adol]

I think they say if you get shot with an arrow, you just have to deal with it. You just have to live like that.

[JPC]

Wait, that's life.

[Aaron]

Now you're saying he should push it back in?

[Adol]

Let me shoot an arrow, Aaron. I'm going to shoot an arrow at you. I'm going to put a riddle on the top of your head and shoot it off. Okay, hold still.

[Aaron]

Okay. I don't want to drop this big riddle that I'm pushing up the hill.

[JPC]

This is the right way to do this, is to shoot you with an arrow right now to kind of figure out what it is that we're doing here.

[Adol]

Oh, Wait a minute. I might know someone who is a doctor or might have played a doctor before. You may know him from Veep. You might know him from Abbott Elementary. You might know him as the voice of Kite Man. And Kite Man. Hell yeah. Please welcome Matt Oberg.

[Aaron]

Woo.

[Matt Oberg]

Hello.

[Aaron]

Woo.

[Matt Oberg]

Woo. It sounds like these are just euphemisms for pooping, that you're just pushing.

[Aaron]

The quiet part out loud.

[Matt Oberg]

Which I'm happy to do, but.

[JPC]

I'm always happy to assist someone with pooping. Whatever that means to you, I'm happy to do it.

[Matt Oberg]

Sure.

[JPC]

Matt, have you ever played a doctor?

[Matt Oberg]

I don't. I don't think so. I've never, like. I think I remember wearing a lab coat and stuff. No, I.

[Adol]

Should I buy it at some point today during the episode, we'll have you play a doctor.

[Aaron]

Yeah.

[Matt Oberg]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I play. You know, it used to be sort of emasculated fathers, and now it's becoming.

[Aaron]

Kind of favorite demographic.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Matt Oberg]

And it's not a. It's not a. A big leap for me. Now I'm getting more like, you know, jerks. Like. Like people who are smarmy and everyone wants to see them lose and Happy to do it.

[JPC]

Happy with whatever's going on in the collective psychosis of this country. It seems like a lot of people were having father issues, that they were writing into things, and now they're like, actually, I think my emasculated father's kind of a dick. And now it's, like, flipping the other way on the father.

[Matt Oberg]

Well, I've been saying that, you know, nerds can be jerks for a long time. People.

[JPC]

Yes.

[Aaron]

You know, we're living proof of that. We live that truth every day here at Navernoville.

[JPC]

I mean, it's like, hurt people. Hurt people. Right? Like, that's the.

[Matt Oberg]

Yes, yes, yes. People who were popular in high school are, by the most part, really nice. So.

[Adol]

Matt, two questions for you. One is, you're the voice of Kite man and Kite Man.

[Matt Oberg]

Hell yeah.

[Adol]

Which is a fantastic series, which means you probably know a friend of ours and former guest of the show, Katie Rich.

[Matt Oberg]

Yeah. Oh, sure. You guys are from the Chicago School of Living, right?

[Adol]

Oh, yes.

[Matt Oberg]

Yeah. And she's a graduate of that. Yeah, no, she's great. It's. You know, a lot of my interaction with her was in this sort of a medium, but we were at Comic Con together not too long ago, and. Or I guess maybe it was a while back, but. No, she's the best. She's the best.

[Adol]

That's Fantastic. And then secondly, what is your relationship with riddles, puzzles, lateral thinking problems, even something like crosswords or escape rooms or connections?

[Matt Oberg]

I'm big into the New York Times suite of games. The one show that I DVR is Jeopardy. So I don't know what a lateral puzzle is, so that. That, you know, excludes me from. From enjoying those.

[Aaron]

But look at the name of the book that I'm reading from today.

[JPC]

Oh, no.

[Aaron]

It's Lateral Thinking Puzzles. So you'll have that soon enough.

[Matt Oberg]

Does that count as a book, or is it just a bunch of different lateral thinking puzzles?

[Aaron]

You're right. This is not a book. It's like, yeah, fuck this.

[Adol]

It's like common sense. The.

[JPC]

Yeah, it looks like a seventh grade aside.

[Aaron]

It really does. From, like, 1998.

[Matt Oberg]

So the COVID is looking up at a palm tree or.

[Aaron]

No, it's just a bunch of random shapes. But I'm glad that you can see something in the random shapes. Ooh.

[Adol]

That was a bit of a Rorschach.

[Aaron]

Test, illustrated by Myron Miller.

[JPC]

I was, like, looking at that cover. I was like, is that my father having sex with my mother? Like, what the hell is that?

[Matt Oberg]

Why is he angry at me?

[Aaron]

Um, what. When you watch Jeopardy, if you were on Jeopardy, what categories would you be, like, so excited to see? And what would you be like? Oh, fuck. I'm.

[Matt Oberg]

I'm. That's a great question. I mean, I don't think I would be confident about any of them. Um, but there's so much opera on Jeopardy. And that is a weak point for me. Although half the time I feel like the answer is Carmen, but. Or like Madame Butterfly, but it's the ones you're cocky about that get you into trouble, I think.

[Aaron]

Yeah.

[Matt Oberg]

The other game I play a lot, which is not Wordle, but Wordle you guys into that gives you, like, the silhouette of a country.

[Adol]

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Aaron, I think you maybe had us play that on episode or something similar.

[Matt Oberg]

Yeah, it's fun. Except, anyway, I played it just this weekend with some friends, which was a real hoot. And it was. It was Puerto Rico, which is not a nation, but a territory. And I felt like that was.

[Aaron]

That's a little bit of a cheat.

[Matt Oberg]

Yeah. Yeah. So they Guammed you? They.

[JPC]

Absolutely. Guam, Yeah.

[Adol]

I got Guam.

[JPC]

I got Casey. Clip it. We're going to use that. That's our new sound bite. I got Guammed.

[Matt Oberg]

So if. If there was a Jeopardy. Question of what are, like, silhouettes of Puerto Rico, I would this week.

[Aaron]

You'd crush that category.

[Adol]

Sounds like a romance novel.

[Matt Oberg]

Yeah.

[Adol]

Matt, where are you from in the world?

[Matt Oberg]

I grew up in the suburbs of New York. In Westchester, Larchmont, New York. And are you guys in Chicago? As we speak right now, JPC and.

[Adol]

I are in Chicago. Aaron was in Chicago, but moved to LA for a. I'm in Los Angeles.

[Aaron]

Yes.

[Matt Oberg]

Nice. Great call.

[Aaron]

Yeah.

[JPC]

You can tell because you can see the sun in her background and you can see Adol and I. Adol looks like he's in a sauna and I look in a black hole. So that's definitely Chicago.

[Matt Oberg]

Yeah. You guys are both in ice fishing tents, right?

[Aaron]

For sure. Trying to make it through April.

[JPC]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Matt Oberg]

But that's my story.

[Aaron]

I had a question. Now I forget what it was. What was my question?

[JPC]

So this is the part of the show where Aaron tries to remember her question.

[Matt Oberg]

You know, how did I get into show business?

[Aaron]

How did you get into show business?

[Adol]

Yeah, we're pivoting of a W2F. W2F.

[Aaron]

Is that the W2F? It's his. It's his bonus podcast. Okay.

[JPC]

What to. Yeah, this is. This is a show called what to. Sorry, you're on it.

[Adol]

But sometimes I'll wake up in the middle of the night, I'll open the fridge and I'm like, what to.

[Aaron]

Shredded cheese. Always Shredded cheese. Always.

[JPC]

Guys, shredded. When I'm done with it.

[Aaron]

That's the worst. And I knew you're about to say that.

[JPC]

Of course.

[Aaron]

Second, I made that joke.

[JPC]

Aaron, if you don't remember what your question is, we have to move on. We have to do riddles. So you either have to think of a really good question or we have to do riddles. Totally your choice.

[Aaron]

As much as I want this to be an interview podcast, I will do some riddles.

[Adol]

Okay. I do want to see. I am going to call for our first scene. We can make it pretty quick, but I think just to fulfill the prophecy. Fulfill the prophecy.

[JPC]

What's going on with you today?

[Adol]

To fulfill the prophecy, I need to go ahead and see a scene. Aaron, you are a kid who has to go to school and doesn't want to. Matt, you are Dr. Dad. You are Aaron's dad, but you're also a doctor. So now you've played one and you're trying to convince your daughter to go to school.

[Matt Oberg]

Wow.

[Aaron]

Oh, boy. Sounds bad, huh?

[Matt Oberg]

Sounds pretty bad. You know, kiddo, you know that in addition to being your dad, I'm also a doctor.

[Aaron]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Matt Oberg]

You know, when I'm feeling bad or I have, like, you have A pretty wet, consistent cough. I can't just call the hospital and say I'm not gonna come in and do doctoring, but that you should.

[Aaron]

You could get a lot of people sick if you have a cough and you go in and you give it to all your patients.

[Matt Oberg]

I'm sorry, are you the doctor dad or am I the doctor dad?

[Aaron]

You're the doctor dad.

[Matt Oberg]

That's right. And I don't want to have to go tell Nurse mom about this conversation. Okay? What I mean to say is that in school, just as in open heart surgery, there's no excuse for not showing up.

[Aaron]

Yeah, but doesn't that look bad on you? If I show up and I get every kid in school sick and they're gonna go, isn't her dad a doctor and her mother a nurse? What are they doing over there?

[Matt Oberg]

It's a fair point, sweetheart. It's a fair point. But then they'll look to me for the cure, and then we can buy more of the toys that you love and cherish.

[Aaron]

Okay, I'm listening. Let's make a negotiation. I won't tell all the kids at school that you're siphoning medicine off of your own supply. And you let me stay home from school today.

[Matt Oberg]

All right? Now that's a prescription for success, sweetheart.

[Adol]

Dr. Dad coming to CBS this.

[Aaron]

Oh, CBS would love Dr. Dad.

[Adol]

Oh, will Coda's the theme song.

[Aaron]

Yeah, CBS is listening, for sure.

[Matt Oberg]

We love Dr. Dad. We're passing.

[Adol]

No, no, we couldn't love her.

[Aaron]

He's about to have a hit on their hand. Cbs. Okay, all right. I will do riddles because I did agree to do this podcast in 2018. And here I am. And here I am.

[Adol]

And Erin, hold up today's newspaper and say you're fine.

[Aaron]

Hi, Maren Keefe. It is sometime in May, and I'm doing all right.

[Matt Oberg]

All right, it's not May.

[Aaron]

Oh, it is May, but it's not May.

[Matt Oberg]

I'm like, you're wrong.

[Aaron]

It's the day after 4:20, and we're all trying our very, very best. That's what it actually is, guys.

[JPC]

No, no, no, no. You're listening to this on the day it comes out, and it's the same day we recorded it. It's May. Of course, everyone knows it's May, and it's today.

[Aaron]

Okay, these are from Will Parsons. He says, I created some quick two sentence riddles for you guys when I should have been working. Oops. So these are, like, rhyming. You'll see. Actually, I think I'll Just go into them.

[Adol]

Okay.

[Aaron]

Okay, great. And these are. We'll consider these warm up riddles. I'm always at home, but I never pay rent. Waiting for me would be time long spent. And you're all sort of thinking. You're all, like, very presentationally thinking.

[JPC]

And we shouldn't be doing that. Is that what I've been gathering? We don't even think about this one. Okay.

[Adol]

Big stroke of the beard. Aaron. Is this some sort of pet or plant?

[JPC]

I was gonna say dog. Yeah.

[Aaron]

Someone could potentially have this as a pet. I'm always at home, but I never pay rent. Waiting for me would be time long.

[Adol]

Spent waiting for me.

[Matt Oberg]

I'm always at home.

[Aaron]

And the home doesn't really look like our home.

[Adol]

Oh, is it like a hermit crab?

[Aaron]

Close.

[Adol]

Or a.

[Matt Oberg]

Why would waiting for a hermit crab be time well spent?

[Aaron]

That's my favorite play. I love that play. Super heady.

[Adol]

Samuel Beckett.

[Aaron]

Yes.

[Matt Oberg]

I can't make it. I'm still waiting for this hermit crab. But it's time both spent.

[JPC]

People don't have hermit crabs as pets. Or do they?

[Aaron]

You're asking the right question. Is what takes a long time. Is there an animal that is slow.

[Adol]

Like a. Oh, it's like a bear. That's a waiter or something.

[Matt Oberg]

Oh, it's. I know. What.

[Aaron]

I'm coming to CVS this fall.

[JPC]

You flagging down a bear? Waiter.

[Adol]

Check. Can I get the check? The check. I'm making the signing motion and the bear's like, I don't use at all. Matt, it sounds like you might have it. You might have it.

[Matt Oberg]

Do you guys really not have it or are you being kind to me?

[Adol]

Oh, I really don't have it.

[JPC]

I'm not sure. Can you say again?

[Matt Oberg]

Aaron Fucking turtle.

[JPC]

God damn it.

[Adol]

Huh? Matt, I want to congratulate you, but it also sucks that you thought we were so dumb. We were acting.

[JPC]

That's a compliment to our acting chops, though. Actually, that's pretty cool.

[Adol]

But I wasn't acting.

[JPC]

I mean, Daniel Lewis doesn't act. He just is Adolf. You be. You act.

[Aaron]

I'd like to see a scene. Jpc, you are a turtle and you are hosting a housewarming party, which is your shell and adol. And Matt, you're going to go to his housewarming party.

[Adol]

I think it's around here somewhere. 48 and a half seconds. Oh. Oh. Down here.

[JPC]

Hi, my dudes.

[Matt Oberg]

Hey.

[JPC]

Welcome, guys.

[Matt Oberg]

Love the new place. This is amazing.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Adol]

Yeah.

[Matt Oberg]

This is so cool.

[JPC]

Can't believe we made it into this neighborhood. Huh? The school zones in this thing.

[Adol]

Yeah, yeah, fantastic.

[JPC]

Property taxes don't even get me started, though.

[Matt Oberg]

Yeah, man, this is. This isn't a. You're. This is an official zoned, you know, permitted dwelling. That's so cool. That's so cool.

[Adol]

Yeah, the sort of house numbers look so big on your shell.

[JPC]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Well, that's the hoa. You know, they make you put them on at that size. You know, everybody's got to be uniform, living in a little tiny boxes.

[Adol]

Oh, weeds. Yeah, weeds.

[Matt Oberg]

Can we.

[Adol]

Can Mark and I get a tour?

[JPC]

Yeah, okay, sure, but. And I know I said no gifts. You both have blenders?

[Matt Oberg]

You guessed it, dude.

[JPC]

You can ne. I always say you can never have enough blenders, you know?

[Matt Oberg]

Yeah. So I know you love, you know, green, you know, lettuce mostly. So this. You could put lettuce.

[JPC]

Tell me you didn't bring lettuce. Oh, Eileen's gonna kill me. I'm clean, but I might have to have a little.

[Adol]

And I brought you what? I know that for dessert, you sometimes will pick at some watercress. So this blender is for watercress.

[JPC]

Oh, you guys are the best. All right, get in here. Come on, get in here. Climb in. Keith, why don't you do armhole, and, Greg, you do leg hole.

[Matt Oberg]

Sure, sure. And just real quick, which is your arm?

[JPC]

Okay, Tay, talk to me after I have some lettuce and watercress, and then we'll start playing that game.

[Aaron]

You know what I'm saying?

[Adol]

Put that on a coffee mug.

[Aaron]

You guys, I'm having sort of an existential moment here. I'm picturing a turtle. I'm trying not to Google it. And when it's in its shells, like, the shell, like, there body part is really attached, like through skin to the shell part, right?

[Adol]

Yeah.

[Aaron]

It's not like they just fully go into the shell, and the shell is like. The shell is like, parts.

[JPC]

Yeah, the shell has their spines membrane there.

[Aaron]

But it's like. I just mean the attachment. Like, I'm picturing the little arms coming out, and they wouldn't. Yeah.

[Matt Oberg]

You're thinking, like, if you yanked on a turtle's head hard enough, would the thing just come out?

[Aaron]

Yeah, I think if I yanked on a turtle's head hard enough again.

[Adol]

Aaron. Yeah. You dated Michelangelo, right?

[Aaron]

I did.

[JPC]

Eric, you're saying is the creature that we call a turtle another creature inside of there. Could you take the turtle out of the shell and it would still be a turtle? That's what you're saying?

[Aaron]

I still Regret asking this question out loud.

[Adol]

Like, when a snail becomes a slug.

[Aaron]

I'll take my answer offline.

[JPC]

Caterpillar becomes a butterfly.

[Adol]

Different thing.

[Matt Oberg]

Anyways, I've got a lot of caterpillars in my backyard, and I have a backyard as well, so that's pretty cool.

[Adol]

Must be nice.

[Matt Oberg]

Yeah, but it happens around this time of year, and a lot of them become. Not a lot of them. I'd say less than 10% become cocoons. And I was showing my daughters. I'm like, look, there's one. We can see it right here. And then after, I don't know, like, two weeks, you just see this trickle of. Of blood coming out of it.

[Adol]

Oh, no.

[Matt Oberg]

That's the most valuable of. Of all, you know, liquids is butterfly blood. Yeah. So rare.

[Adol]

That's incredible.

[Aaron]

You sell that in la. It's like, so. It's like, better than Botox.

[Matt Oberg]

Yeah.

[Aaron]

Women just put it. Butterfly blood. She would. She would hawk butterfly blood to all of us. You know what? I'd buy it.

[Matt Oberg]

Yeah.

[Aaron]

I'd walk into that little store in Brentwood and I'd spend $200 on that butterfly blood.

[Matt Oberg]

I get you some for free.

[Aaron]

Oh, hell yeah. Thank you.

[Adol]

Truly, the next time I play, like, a wizard or something, I'm going to be like, give me two scoops of butterfly blood that's sticking in the library. For sure.

[Matt Oberg]

Yeah.

[Aaron]

All right, let's continue on these. These riddles. I'm back on the riddle train. I'm going to be enthusiastic the rest of the episode. I'm never going to complain again. I don't have to speak your language to know what you mean. I could. No. I could discern some of your habits based on your sheen. I think this one's hard.

[JPC]

By the way, this is Spanish.

[Aaron]

No.

[JPC]

Because as we all know.

[Aaron]

Nope.

[JPC]

Emilio Estevez.

[Aaron]

Nope.

[JPC]

Is.

[Matt Oberg]

Let him finish.

[JPC]

Martin Sheen's real name is, like, Pablo Estevez or something like that.

[Matt Oberg]

Yeah, famously.

[Aaron]

You don't have to speak your language to know what you mean, though. I could discern some of your habits based on your sheen.

[Adol]

Okay, I don't.

[Matt Oberg]

Language to know what you mean.

[Aaron]

What's the different ways to communicate with people that isn't body language?

[Adol]

Sign language, Dance math.

[Aaron]

Dance math. No, not body language is close body language.

[Adol]

Is it jazz?

[Aaron]

It's a sign language, not sign language. Body language. Like, what is a way to communicate to someone that you feel a certain way?

[Adol]

Touch.

[JPC]

Oh, mime. The art of mime.

[Aaron]

Not the art of sex puppetry.

[Matt Oberg]

Is it sex?

[Aaron]

I would say, like, you're overcomplicating it. But like, if. If you were to walk into a room, this is actually a bad example because you're going to make fun of this. But if I.

[JPC]

Why don't you just take a second and have it to a good example?

[Matt Oberg]

Wait, I'm locked into the room.

[JPC]

Scratch the bad example. Scratch the bad example completely throw that one out.

[Adol]

Matt walked into your room. Matt walked into your hypothetical room.

[Aaron]

Okay, so I. Okay. Matt and I met today and we're getting along great. We're buddies already. I feel like this is going well. We're gonna be friends. Sure. Side of things, we both live in la. I'm in a coffee shop. Right. And he walks in. How would he know that I'm excited to greet my new friend?

[Adol]

Big smile.

[Aaron]

Smile. There you go.

[Adol]

It's a smile.

[JPC]

Wait, how is that the answer? What's the answer? What's the riddle?

[Aaron]

A smile.

[JPC]

But what's the riddle? I feel fucking stupid today. I don't understand.

[Matt Oberg]

I don't have to speak your language to know what you mean, but I can tell how you feel based on your Sheen, of course.

[Aaron]

Well, you guys sort of completely rewrote the riddle and I love that I don't have to speak your language. You know what you mean? You got that part though. I could discern some of your habits based on your sheen.

[Adol]

I gotta tell you, I went to a bookstore. They had coffee house smile. And they had silhouettes of Puerto Rico. And I got silhouettes of Puerto Rico.

[JPC]

And I'll say this. If Martin Sheen is showing you his teeth, that actually does not mean he's excited to meet you. That means he is very frustrated and he is very anxious. And you actually should go close to Martin Sheen because you will get bit.

[Matt Oberg]

Martin Sheen is just as scared of you as you are. Word.

[Adol]

If you're cold, he's cold. Bring your Martin Sheen inside.

[JPC]

You know, that's probably generally true of people, so it might also be true.

[Adol]

Of Martin Sheen if you're Apocalypse Now. He's Apocalypse Now.

[Aaron]

That's so funny.

[Matt Oberg]

I just like that you. You're going to invent a last name and Sheen made it to the top of the list.

[Aaron]

Yeah.

[Matt Oberg]

Let's do it. You drive around LA and realize how many, like, hacky things are just named after streets in Los Angeles. Bron and Adol.

[JPC]

I was trying to think of this and I was like, I should have texted you because I think you are the perfect person to remember this. But isn't there a celebrity who changed their name because their Name was the name of a different celebrity.

[Adol]

Michael Keaton.

[JPC]

Michael Keaton.

[Adol]

Wait until all of. No, no, no, I'm sorry. Albert Einstein.

[JPC]

That's right.

[Adol]

Was Albert Brooks. Albert Brooks was born. Albert Einstein changed his name to. But also Michael Keaton had a. Michael Keaton's real name is Michael Douglas.

[Matt Oberg]

That's right. That's right.

[Aaron]

See, that's awesome.

[JPC]

I knew if I had texted you this, I would have had both of those examples, like, immediately, because I was like, I can't remember what this thing is. But yes.

[Matt Oberg]

I thought at first you were saying Albert Einstein changed his own name to Albert Einstein. He's like, it just sounds so smart, you know?

[Aaron]

Okay, I got another riddle.

[JPC]

Sounds really sweet.

[Aaron]

These are still from Will. Will wrote these. I have many jagged teeth and usually stay with a pack. I make my home in a cave, filling up every crack. Don't be gross. Don't be gross. Grab my spray bottle. Spray, spray, spray, spray, spray.

[JPC]

Ah, my crack.

[Adol]

I have many jagged teeth. So that makes me think of like, a zipper.

[Aaron]

Ooh, okay.

[Adol]

Which when you unzip your pants, that could be like a little cave.

[Matt Oberg]

Yeah.

[JPC]

Well, Adolph, I do think Adol's wearing his pants backwards now. This is not my only indicator. Adol unzipping the butt of his pants. All of Adol's pants are like Catwoman costumes.

[Aaron]

We are finding out that Adol's been wearing his pants backwards.

[Adol]

I go to get a physical at the doctor's and I unzip on my pants and I go, want to explore the cave? And he goes, please, just, please just.

[Aaron]

Put on the I'm a dead paper robe.

[Matt Oberg]

It'd be worse if you to your doctor at Riddles too. What has a cave?

[Aaron]

A terrible rash and no health insurance. I have many jagged teeth and usually stay with a pack. I make my home in a cave, filling up every crack.

[Adol]

Is it a bat? Is it a colony of bats?

[Aaron]

Not a bat.

[JPC]

Is it an animal? Like a wolf? Is it a wolf? Because wolves live in caves.

[Aaron]

No, it's not an animal. And I would say Adol did not have it quite right with a zipper. But that way of thinking, I think could get you.

[JPC]

What else has teeth? Saws. Saws have teeth.

[Aaron]

Okay, that's true.

[Matt Oberg]

Does a comb have teeth?

[Aaron]

A comb? Oh, yeah, yeah.

[JPC]

Oh, yeah.

[Matt Oberg]

Teeth, Comb.

[Aaron]

Comb teeth usually stay in a pack is, I think, true.

[Matt Oberg]

Like a pack of. Pack of Marlboros.

[Aaron]

So I wouldn't say it's like in a pack of something. I'd say it stays with its own kind Usually it stays with more of what they are.

[JPC]

Magnets.

[Aaron]

Not magnets.

[Matt Oberg]

It's magnets.

[JPC]

It's magnets.

[Aaron]

All right, we've decided.

[JPC]

Damn riddles are hard today. What the fuck is going on?

[Aaron]

I know, I know. I think maybe. I do think it's the post 420 blues.

[JPC]

That's gotta be it. Yeah, it's the post 420 blues. Those famous post 420 blues.

[Matt Oberg]

Can I ask for a clue?

[Aaron]

Yeah.

[JPC]

Yes. We need a clue.

[Aaron]

You definitely, definitely own several versions of this thing.

[JPC]

Full body Shrek bodysuit.

[Aaron]

My other hint is this is very, very inexpensive to replace. I feel like it's pretty affordable if you lose this thing. But you kind of need. But it's hard. It is hard to replace if you don't.

[Matt Oberg]

If you've completely lost it and you buy like more. You buy a bunch of them.

[Aaron]

I would say it's smart to buy more than one of these things. And if you lose it.

[JPC]

Is it a key?

[Aaron]

It's a key.

[Matt Oberg]

It's a key.

[Adol]

And the lock is inside. Whoa.

[Matt Oberg]

What's the cave is. Is the lock. Of course.

[Aaron]

Is the lock. Yeah.

[JPC]

Aaron, you keep your keys with other.

[Aaron]

Keys on a key ring.

[JPC]

What?

[Aaron]

Yes.

[JPC]

I keep all my keys loose in different pockets. What am I doing wrong?

[Aaron]

Actually, you guys, my key ring actually kind of looks insane. Can I show it to you? I know this is a. Oh, yeah.

[Matt Oberg]

No, please.

[JPC]

I can't wait to see what this looks like.

[Matt Oberg]

How far away are her keys is.

[JPC]

She's leaving. She left them in Boston.

[Matt Oberg]

Here we go. What's the over under on how many keys are on the ring?

[Adol]

Ooh, I'm gonna say 15.

[Aaron]

It's so loud and so heavy and so too much. And I literally just took something off of it today.

[JPC]

To me, it's not keys. Oh, yeah, There's. I was gonna say there's a bunch of other stuff. Yeah, for sure.

[Aaron]

And a lot of it is, like, anxiety stuff. Like this is like an alarm thing. And then this is like a fidget toy. This is rose quartz, a crystal for my spells. This is a bottle opener.

[Matt Oberg]

I wouldn't put the alarm thing in the same category as rose quartz in a fidget toy. One is like personal safety.

[Aaron]

They're all keeping me safe in different ways.

[Matt Oberg]

I see. Fair enough. Fair enough.

[Adol]

That's the key fob to her heart.

[Aaron]

Yeah.

[Matt Oberg]

I got just one key.

[Aaron]

Oh, that's slick. That's cool. That's cool.

[JPC]

Wow.

[Adol]

It opens everything.

[Aaron]

This. You're like this. This lady's a mess. You're walking in, that's.

[JPC]

That's always locked out of place. It's just like knocking on the door, like, this is not the right key.

[Matt Oberg]

I had a locksmith put the few locks we have all in the same.

[JPC]

Yeah. Heated up.

[Matt Oberg]

Yep. And then we've. This locksmith's come out a few times. One of the last times he was here. Maybe he's listening. I don't know. But he's leaving. And he goes, I love you. And I go, oh, okay.

[Aaron]

All right.

[Matt Oberg]

I love you, too. Because this man can enter any room.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Matt Oberg]

Anytime he wants.

[Adol]

Yeah. If. If a locksmith says I love you, you say it back, because otherwise, I'm dying.

[Aaron]

That's also. You know, he went home that night, and to his wife, he's like, I can't believe I said I love you. And she's like, no one's gonna remember that in a week, and no one's ever gonna mention it on a podcast, and everyone's gonna forget about it.

[Matt Oberg]

His wife comes with him every time.

[JPC]

He goes, wow.

[Adol]

Was he talking to her?

[JPC]

That's what he says. That's his story. Baby, I was talking to you.

[Aaron]

Wait. That's crazy. What a life. I want to be them.

[Matt Oberg]

Yeah. Yeah. It was like, oh, yeah. I hope I said, I love you, too, but I don't know. I didn't.

[JPC]

You could have just said thank you. If someone says I love you, thank you, and they're a stranger. Or what about I know who's doing a task? I think thank you is acceptable.

[Matt Oberg]

It's a weird thing to say thank you. In any instance, when someone says I love you, I feel like.

[Aaron]

Unless you're Harrison Ford.

[Matt Oberg]

That's true. That's true.

[JPC]

If Harrison Ford said. If I said I love you to Harrison Ford and he said, I love you, too, I would not believe it. I'd be like, Harrison Ford. You're famously kind of crotchety. I don't think you love me. I think you're trying to get out of this interaction, and you can't.

[Aaron]

I got you.

[JPC]

I got you, Harrison.

[Adol]

That was a good Harrison Ford impression, Matt. Can we hear that again?

[Matt Oberg]

I love you, too. Is that. That's just Batman.

[Aaron]

Have you been watching. What's it called on shrinking?

[Matt Oberg]

Shrinking. I haven't done the work. No, I should.

[JPC]

I haven't done the work.

[Aaron]

I watched the first two episodes. I have not done the work. It's good. It's very good.

[JPC]

What's the first two episodes? Do you mean of the first season or of the second season?

[Aaron]

That came out first season.

[JPC]

Great.

[Matt Oberg]

My podcast mate, Kristen Schall, in our new podcast, she got some huge box of swag from shrinking, and we were the beneficiaries of that. And we have, like, two shrinking pickleball paddles in a gigantic, like, shrinking water service. So we're fans.

[JPC]

Did she do an episode of shrinking or is she on the show? No, we don't know.

[Matt Oberg]

I don't know. But they wanted her to be aware.

[JPC]

Of shrinking.

[Matt Oberg]

Of shrinking. And now we are.

[Aaron]

And now. Yeah. And now everyone at the pickleball court knows all about it. I'm gonna get through these four riddles that will did and then we'll take a quick break.

[JPC]

Okay.

[Aaron]

I have many, many rings, though don't like to be showy. You may call me shady, but guess what? You're below me.

[Adol]

Oh, Saturn.

[Aaron]

That's just a poem I wrote about how I feel about you guys.

[JPC]

Wow.

[Adol]

Is it Saturn? Is Saturn above us?

[Aaron]

No. That is a really good guess. That's actually really great, Adam.

[Matt Oberg]

Is it Uranus?

[Aaron]

No. And I wish. High five.

[Matt Oberg]

High five.

[Aaron]

Spray bottle, spray bottle, spray bottle.

[JPC]

I was too busy holding both hands over my crack because I knew the spray was coming.

[Aaron]

So, so funny. I have many, many rings that don't like to be showy. You may call me shady, but guess what?

[Adol]

Oh, it's a tree.

[Aaron]

It's a tree.

[Adol]

It's like a given tree or something.

[JPC]

Adam, what was the first name that you said?

[Adol]

Bill Russell.

[JPC]

Bill Russell. I was going to say he has.

[Adol]

More rings than anybody else in the NBA.

[JPC]

Doesn't it feel like Mickey Rourke? Probably just wears a lot of rings.

[Adol]

Johnny Depp does.

[JPC]

Johnny Depp. A lot of rings.

[Adol]

And bangles. Yeah.

[Matt Oberg]

Billy Bob Thornton.

[JPC]

Bunch of rings.

[Adol]

Vial of butterfly blood around his neck.

[JPC]

Have you ever worn an auxiliary ring? Like, not a. Not you, Aaron. I'm asking Matt and Adol if they've ever.

[Aaron]

I can't be part of the conversation.

[JPC]

Well, okay.

[Matt Oberg]

Why?

[Aaron]

Because I have a bunch of stuff on me all the time.

[Matt Oberg]

We all know you probably wear a ton of rings. Let's be honest.

[Aaron]

I do. I do. To fidget with.

[JPC]

I have one friend in my life who I'll remain nameless, who wears. Hey, Aaron, what's the word for like, auxiliary rings? Like jewelry? I guess it's just jewelry, right?

[Aaron]

Just like rings. Yeah.

[Matt Oberg]

Yeah. What would be a non auxiliary ring?

[JPC]

Like a wedding ring? Like a wedding ring is. I think that's like a utility ring.

[Adol]

Green Lantern ring.

[JPC]

If I saw the Green Lantern wearing a ring, I'd be like, yeah. You need that for your job.

[Adol]

Yeah, I just don't see it very much.

[Matt Oberg]

One key, one ring.

[JPC]

One ring.

[Matt Oberg]

That's it.

[JPC]

One ring to rule them all.

[Matt Oberg]

But, no, I've never.

[Aaron]

I got two auxiliary, non, non essential rings on. I got a clatter ring from Galway because all the women in my family have these clatter rings. And the heart famously faces out if you're available and single and faces in when you're in love. And I was recently at home with my nieces, and my niece is familiar with the ring because everyone in my family has one. And she was like, why? Why is your heart facing in? I was like, well, like, I'm in love. So that's. And she went. And she, like, winced, took off my ring and faced it the other way, and I was like, whoa, whoa. Guess we're not on board with him yet.

[Matt Oberg]

She doesn't approve of who you love or the act of loving?

[Aaron]

Both. I think anytime there's a romance on a TV show, she's like, blech. And, like, goes in the other room. So not, I think. But also, jury's still out on the guy that I'm seeing for her.

[Matt Oberg]

And she has a thick Irish brogue.

[Aaron]

Yeah, she does.

[Adol]

I don't approve of your love.

[Aaron]

Okay, I think you guys are gonna get these next three ones fast. And I'm just putting that out into the universe. Not to put pressure on you, but I'm just sort of manifesting that for you. Okay? A unit of comedy on a weekend night or a quick creation, often in black and white.

[Adol]

Bit.

[JPC]

Sketch.

[Aaron]

Sketch. Yes.

[JPC]

I almost said skit. I almost said skit.

[Matt Oberg]

That would have been embarrassing.

[JPC]

It has to be skit.

[Aaron]

Yeah, like an aunt asking about what you do for work. How are all the skits you're doing going?

[Adol]

How are your little bits?

[Aaron]

I could be a lyric. I could be a pole. Or maybe your local watering hole.

[Adol]

Bar.

[Matt Oberg]

Yes, a bar.

[Aaron]

You got that so fast. A beast of burden.

[JPC]

You were right about us getting these.

[Aaron]

I know. See, I just believed in you, and then you could do it. That's what it is.

[Matt Oberg]

I haven't even rung in yet. Here.

[Aaron]

A beast of burden or a throat that's sore if I see JP Horse. Yes. You didn't even need the last line.

[JPC]

Wow.

[Aaron]

You each got one too. And I believed in you. All right, everybody, you deserve a quick rest. We're gonna do some Capri Suns and orange slices in the break, and then we'll see you when we get back.

[Matt Oberg]

Okay? I love you.

[Aaron]

Love you, love you.

[Matt Oberg]

I know, I know, I know.

[Adol]

Boosters.

[Aaron]

Check.

[Adol]

Rocket check. Money. Money, guys. Money.

[Aaron]

Oh, actually, I have a little bit of money because I've been using Rocket Money.

[Adol]

Oh, Aaron, what's Rocket Money?

[Aaron]

It's a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. JPC clearly didn't do that because he's backing out of this rocket. Sort of shrugging.

[JPC]

Oh, gosh. You were all talking about Rocket Money, and I was selling parts of this rocket for money that I was then using on a bunch of monthly subscriptions.

[Aaron]

Yeah. And you weren't keeping track of them? Well, Rocket Money's dashboard gives you a clear view of your expenses across all your accounts. So you can easily create a personalized budget with custom categories to help keep your spending on track. See your monthly spending trends in each category to know exactly where your money is going. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

[Adol]

And I just found here, tell me if this is right. Rocket Money has over 5 million users and has saved a total of 500 million in canceled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year when they use all of the app's premium features.

[Aaron]

Uh huh.

[Adol]

$740 is what I need to get my rocket to get me into space.

[Aaron]

They will even try to negotiate lower bills for you. They automatically scan your bills to find opportunities to save. Then you can ask them to negotiate for you with customer service so you don't have to. It's like having an assistant.

[JPC]

So cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Download the Rocket Money app and enter my show name. Hey, Riddle, riddle in the survey so they know I sent you. Don't wait. Download the Rocket Money app today and tell them you heard about them from my show.

[Adol]

Whoa, guys, I'm doing it.

[JPC]

Look.

[Adol]

Oh, wait. Oh, I can fly. Sorry, guys. I can fly.

[Aaron]

Oh, this is a dream. I knew it.

[JPC]

Okay, this podcast is sponsored by Squarespace.

[Aaron]

Adult jpc.

[Adol]

Hey, what's up, Aaron?

[Aaron]

Can I show you something?

[JPC]

Ooh, anything.

[Aaron]

I am keeping track of all of JPC's crimes against humanity, and I decided to make a new website using Squarespace.

[Adol]

Oh, yeah, that's actually cool.

[JPC]

Squarespace is perfect for that because they're the all in one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online. Whether you're just starting out or scaling your business, Squarespace gives you everything you need to claim your domain, showcase your offerings with a professional website, grow your brand, and get paid all in one place.

[Aaron]

Jpc, I'm so glad you have a good attitude about this.

[JPC]

Hey, you know, all press is good press. Or any. Any good press is. I did press a lot of people. Is that something that is. That's on the website. Wow, look at that.

[Aaron]

Well, you have it. Squarespace makes it easy to showcase your expertise and engage clients with video content on your website. Upload and organize your videos, create stunning video libraries and even monetize your content by adding a paywall. Perfect for online courses, exclusive tutorials and premium workshops. Or videos of JPC pressing on people's noses way too hard.

[Adol]

Oh yeah, and if you want to, I don't know, support JPC or just donate because you feel bad for what he's done. Squarespace has donations you can fundraise directly on your website and grow your impact with built in donation tools. Create a professional on brand website that makes it easy to accept one time or recurring contributions and engage supporters.

[JPC]

Plus, Squarespace has SEO tools. You can get discovered fast with integrated Squarespace SEO tools. Every website is optimized to be indexed with meta descriptions, an auto generated sitemap and more. So you show up more often on search engines and bring in more of your ideal customers. Like say someone is googling like JPC crime. They might find our website much faster because we're on Squarespace.

[Aaron]

My website, not our website.

[JPC]

Wait, I don't get. I don't get. There's not like a little kickback for I don't get?

[Matt Oberg]

No.

[JPC]

What?

[Aaron]

Head to squarespace.com riddle for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, use offer code riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

[Adol]

You ate the pyramids. Sorry, I just went on Aaron's website. You ate the pyramids?

[JPC]

I ate a pyramids jpc.

[Aaron]

Yeah, it's the same thing. It's the ones in Egypt.

[JPC]

Yeah, those are the ones I ate.

[Adol]

Yeah, that's our jpc.

[Aaron]

Jpc. Good news. I got something for Moriah for Mother's Day.

[JPC]

Oh, that's so nice. I also got a little something for Mariah for Mother's Day.

[Aaron]

Well, Beverly Shubadoo did my alter ego that's trying to steal your wife.

[JPC]

Yeah, that makes sense. Mine is a Beverly Shoebidou repellent spray and Mariah can just kind of clip it to her little lapel. And then if any Beverly Shoebudoos get too close, it spritz. Spritz. Game over.

[Aaron]

She's not going to want to use it. You know what she does want and what I Got her is an Aura digital picture frame.

[JPC]

Oh, that's a better gift.

[Aaron]

Yeah.

[JPC]

Oh, that's a better gift.

[Aaron]

Aura Frames was named the best digital photo frame by Wirecutter and featured in 495 gift guides last year. So the next time you need to call your mom, you can send her a new pic of you from that trip you're telling her all about, right from your phone. So I can sort of send photos of Beverly Shubadou blowing kisses. Beverly Shubidoo sort of writing her letters. I can send it right to your house and she can see it in the photo frame.

[JPC]

I don't.

[Aaron]

Your frame.

[JPC]

I mean, the functionality is great. I don't love the execution of it. Adol, you want to jump in here?

[Aaron]

Adol's on my side.

[Adol]

Yeah, I'll say. Two years ago, I got my mom an aura frame. It's her favorite gift she's ever received. She won't stop talking about it. Sometimes I'll come to visit her and she's like, why'd you come? I have all these photos of you. No need. So it almost. It's almost too good a gift. Too good of a gift.

[JPC]

Aura has a great deal for Mother's Day. For a limited time, listeners can save on the perfect gift by visiting auraframes.com to get $35 off plus free shipping on their best selling Carver mat frame. That's Aura A U R A frames.com promo code. Riddle. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply.

[Aaron]

Happy Mother's Day, Mariah from Beverly.

[JPC]

Shuba doo shooba doo.

[Aaron]

And I trust you're going to play this for her.

[JPC]

Oh, she won't listen. All right, Aaron, I am hungry for some more riddles.

[Aaron]

Oh, yeah? Well, I'm fresh out.

[Adol]

Oh, Aaron, please, no more riddles.

[Aaron]

No more riddles.

[Adol]

Come back tomorrow.

[Aaron]

I guess I could plant some. Fine, fine. I will do some. Matt, how are you feeling about riddles so far?

[Matt Oberg]

I mean, you. If I'm being honest, you know, it's.

[Adol]

Finally someone says what we all been wanting to say.

[Matt Oberg]

I mean, it's new to me, so it's fun. But I can understand if you've been in Riddletown for a little too long. It just says, you know, but I'm enjoying it.

[JPC]

I think it's funny to track Aaron's just. Over the course of the last hour, her relationship to Reynolds has changed four or five times. It was like she hated them. She committed herself to loving them. She had fun with one. And now she seems like Done with the concept of them.

[Adol]

She's going through Keibler's seven stages of.

[Aaron]

I think that's why my niece flipped my ring around. She was like, girl, you're a mess. I don't know about all that.

[JPC]

Aaron, did you sponge on the riddle?

[Adol]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[JPC]

You might want to take your rose quartz back to the store and see if maybe we could get it tested, because it feels like maybe.

[Aaron]

Oh, it works. No, Witch sold it to me. It worked.

[JPC]

Aaron, what do you. Which one do you hit? We need to play a game. Which one do you hit if you're like a wizard is approaching you in a parking lot? Like, are you jamming that rose quartz? Are you hitting the alarm?

[Aaron]

Okay, I got some options.

[JPC]

Is it your apartment key? You're like, come on over.

[Aaron]

Oh, my God. I. I assume I'm gonna be using my bottle opener. Are we not having a beer together? I'm pretty sure.

[JPC]

Big robes, big hat, two Michelob Ultras, just walking across the parking lot.

[Aaron]

I got this bottle opener from friend of the show, Jasper Cartwright, who was on our show a few years ago. Also another Head Gummer. Hey, how about that, everybody?

[Matt Oberg]

Now every time you unlock your car, you think of your time together.

[Aaron]

Exactly. Exactly.

[JPC]

I also don't know how I feel about calling someone a Headgummer. I don't think I've heard it phrased that way before.

[Aaron]

What are we called?

[Matt Oberg]

I. Yeah, sounds pretty cool to me.

[JPC]

I guess it's fine to be a Head Gummer. I feel like if someone called me a headgummer in any other context, I'd be like, fuck you. You don't know what I do. Yeah, Head Gummer.

[Matt Oberg]

It's what you are, though. So, yeah, get in.

[JPC]

Head Gummer. It kind of sounds like what my baby went through before they, you know, grew teeth. Like, I'm like, yeah, he's just like a little Head Gummer.

[Matt Oberg]

Yeah.

[Adol]

What about Choo Choo? Is that fun? You know, because what do you do with gum? You chew it.

[JPC]

Chew it.

[Adol]

But you can't call someone a chew because that sounds like there's something more to come. So Choo Choo sounds like a breed of dog, of course.

[JPC]

But you're trying to get what a train does.

[Matt Oberg]

You're trying to get after, like, a swifty kind of fan base name. Like, who are Lady Gagas? The.

[Adol]

The monsters. The little monsters.

[Matt Oberg]

I think the monsters. Little monsters.

[Aaron]

We've had what was ours, Horny Lizards. We had a name for lizards. Future Lizards. What was I thinking of?

[Matt Oberg]

That is the thing a Horned lizard.

[JPC]

That's right.

[Matt Oberg]

Aren't those the ones that spit blood out of their eyes?

[Adol]

Yeah, they squirt blood out of their eyes.

[Matt Oberg]

Rare blood.

[Aaron]

Okay. That's going to make me look young forever. Give me a vile of that.

[JPC]

I feel like both times rare blood has come up, Matt has been the one kind of pushing the rare blood.

[Aaron]

Sort of a blood guy, I guess.

[Adol]

You have a new weird pet store, Is that right? You want to promote?

[Aaron]

Yeah.

[JPC]

Well, Matt, do do on the extraordinarians podcast. Do you have a name for your listeners yet?

[Matt Oberg]

Well, the podcast is as we're recording this in real life. It has not come out yet, so we don't have any listeners. But no, I'm open to suggestions.

[JPC]

I forgot we had Tony on the show and it felt like so long ago, but I'm like, oh yeah, we had Tony on the show to promote the show and his episode hasn't come out yet since recording this. So it's not out yet.

[Matt Oberg]

It could come out this week.

[JPC]

This week?

[Matt Oberg]

No, we don't have a name for extraordinarian nation yet. So please.

[JPC]

Well, I'm sorry to say that future lizards is already taken, so you'll have to come up with something that is not future lizards. That's our domain.

[Matt Oberg]

Okay.

[Aaron]

What about swifties?

[Matt Oberg]

Yeah. What about horny lizards?

[JPC]

No horny lizards.

[Aaron]

Butterfly blood.

[Matt Oberg]

Butterfly. The butterfly blood lizards.

[Adol]

Well, but then you run up against the butterfly crypts, which is going to be a real mess.

[JPC]

Yeah, you really don't want to do that.

[Aaron]

So I lost my page in this book, so I'm going to wing it. I had. I sometimes.

[Adol]

What does that mean?

[Aaron]

I had it bookmarked and I had. And I can't find where I was. But I'm going to read some other riddles from it.

[Adol]

Oh, okay.

[Aaron]

From the lateral.

[Matt Oberg]

How does the universe guide you to the riddle?

[Adol]

Exactly.

[Aaron]

I'm using my rose quartz.

[Matt Oberg]

Yeah.

[Aaron]

To sort of guide me to what is supposed to happen next. Okay. So in this book, I would say these feel less riddles and more like. And adol. I know you hate this, but more like facts that you sort of have to suss out and get to. So you're just going to try to like think like a lot of these are like historically significant or real life examples and you'll see what I mean. And you just sort of have to like suss out why. It's more like solving a little mystery.

[Matt Oberg]

It's a classic lateral puzzle.

[Aaron]

There you go. And see, you're all that. You know exactly what it was the whole time.

[Matt Oberg]

I've been more of a vertical puzzle guy, but.

[Aaron]

All right.

[Adol]

You're old lad at this lad, of course, short for lateral.

[Aaron]

Okay. Why did Alexander the Great order all his men to shave?

[Matt Oberg]

Why did Alexander Great order all his men to shave?

[JPC]

Aaron. I know, and it does help to.

[Aaron]

Say it, that sort of cadence.

[Matt Oberg]

Why did Alexander great.

[JPC]

Is this like the one where it's.

[Aaron]

Like you're in a date, like the.

[JPC]

Armies and the sleevies?

[Aaron]

No, it's not a joke. So these are not joke. This. I can't. This is not a joke, this riddle book. Some riddles are jokes. These are not jokes. These are. That's a real reason. Yeah.

[Adol]

I gotta be honest. I. In my head, in my mind's eye, I was picturing When Matt said it that way. I was picturing him pacing back and forth in court like he's making. Yeah, he's making a case for the.

[Aaron]

Jury of, like, dabbing his brow. Why did Alexander the Great wear all.

[Adol]

His men to just that lawyer cadence of like.

[Matt Oberg]

Ladies and gentlemen, I. I did play a lawyer on TV in a Heart of Dixie. And they. It. That show is set in the south. And I. They were like, please come in with a. A Southern accent. And I did like Foghorn Leghorn. It was the best.

[Adol]

Oh, we gotta hear it, Yoana.

[Matt Oberg]

You know, And I was like. I said to the. I was like, I don't feel great about this accent. They're like, ah, it's fine. It's fine. And then I came back for another season and just stopped doing the accent.

[Aaron]

Nobody noticed or said, okay, I. Sorry, guys. I didn't. I. I'm a huge Veep fan, so I was already a little starstruck. And now that I know you are in Heart of Dixie, I'm going to lose my fucking mind. I watched all of that show and I cannot stress it enough. One sitting.

[Matt Oberg]

Wow.

[Aaron]

One summer, one sitting. I enjoy. Injected Heart of Dixie into my veins.

[Matt Oberg]

It was Covid. You know, we were all going through.

[Aaron]

Yeah, Covid. Not several years before that. Yeah, yeah, sure.

[Adol]

Matt, I hope Daniel Craig follows your lead in the new Knives Out.

[Matt Oberg]

It's funny when you're watching a movie and you think, like, it's going to be a bit. That that accent is bad.

[Adol]

Right?

[Matt Oberg]

And then the bit never like Don Cheadle in that Ocean's Eleven. You're like, surely he's going to.

[Adol]

Oh, yeah.

[Aaron]

I feel like if accents on Heart of Dixie, everyone was swinging for those big Southern accents. So yours fit right in.

[Adol]

Matt. The one we bring up the most, or at least jpc and I bring it up the most, is John Malkovich in Rounders. I don't know if you've ever seen that, but he plays, like, Tony KGB or something. His accent is pied at me on his, like, syrupy Russian.

[Matt Oberg]

Instagram served me up like a Matt Damon interview snippet. And it's always like when you're so ashamed of what the algorithm is putting in front of you, but you eat it anyway. He tells a story about hearing Malkovich do that on the first day. John Malovich looks at him and goes, I'm a terrible actor.

[Aaron]

That's so funny.

[JPC]

Wow. That's so funny.

[Matt Oberg]

Did Alexander Gray. But this is a true thing that he really did.

[Aaron]

It's a true thing. Yeah.

[Matt Oberg]

Was it lights?

[Aaron]

No. But I like that you're thinking like this. The accent that has been popular in my house lately has been the dealer from Casino Royale who's like, Mr. Bond. Fold. That's pretty good.

[Matt Oberg]

That's fun when you guys are doing laundry.

[Aaron]

Why did Alexander the Great order all his men to shave?

[Adol]

Is this something to do with, like, in battle, somebody can't pull, like, pull their beard?

[Aaron]

Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.

[Adol]

Is that real?

[Aaron]

That is literally what it is. Bearded men could be grabbed by the beard in close combat. I would like to see a scene.

[Adol]

I'm just going off when I fight. And I always yank on the beard.

[JPC]

Yeah. Beard balls back. Places.

[Adol]

The three B's. The three B's.

[Matt Oberg]

You gotta get rid of all of them.

[Aaron]

Matt and Adol, you are two of Alexander the Great's men who clearly did not shave. And JBC or Alexander the Great sort of cussing them out.

[JPC]

All right, men, today we ride to bat. What? What the. Chris, Trevor to the front. Both of you guys to the front.

[Adol]

Are we in trouble?

[Matt Oberg]

Oh, Alexander, please. I was just. I'm trying to get ready for this here coming battle.

[JPC]

No, no. And I know everyone's from all over because I'm a conqueror or whatever, but the rules apply to. Turn around, you guys face the rest of the army. What do you see? Clean shaven faces.

[Adol]

Yeah, I just thought they were young.

[Aaron]

We said we were willing to shave in the audition, so.

[Matt Oberg]

And I did not.

[Adol]

Here's some lemonade. Can't. Can't. And call me sorry, Alex, call me dumb.

[JPC]

Alexander, we're not friends, you and I.

[Adol]

Okay, Call me dumb, but can our opponents also just grab us by the hair? Are we shaving our heads now, too?

[JPC]

What Take your helmets off. Oh, my God, you guys still have hair.

[Matt Oberg]

I got a ponytail as long as the Mrs. Well, I don't know where.

[JPC]

That is, but look. Okay, I guess. I guess everyone in the army.

[Matt Oberg]

I'll tell you.

[JPC]

No, I don't want to know. I don't want to know. I guess everyone in the army is just doing their own thing. But you know what? That's not the way armies work, okay? It was a simple instructions. Shave face, shave heads, and, you know, it's just. It's just astounding that the two of you can't follow simple instructions. What are you hiding under those beards?

[Adol]

I mean, I have a weak chin.

[Matt Oberg]

You do. As do I. It is a shame. I've carried all these years.

[Adol]

Oh, my God, I feel so close to you. I feel connected. Tethered even. I would die for you. I would take a spear to the tummy for you.

[Matt Oberg]

If you show me your weak chin, I will show you mine.

[JPC]

Wait a second. This gives me an idea for a new way to fight. In combat, we put everyone with weak chins in the front lines. They die out. We don't have to worry about them. Kind of, like messing up by, like, Alexander the Great gene pool with their, like, weak recessive chins. Huh?

[Matt Oberg]

Weak chins, strong hearts.

[Adol]

Weak chins, strong hearts. Weak chin, strong.

[JPC]

Whatever, guys.

[Aaron]

See, weak chins, strong hearts, can't lose.

[Matt Oberg]

Yeah.

[Aaron]

All right.

[Matt Oberg]

That was fun.

[Aaron]

That was fun. I cannot believe that I'm talking to someone from Heart of Dixie. Truly.

[Matt Oberg]

Oh, yeah.

[JPC]

From Heart of Dixie. Can you.

[Matt Oberg]

Do you guys want to guess what my character name was?

[Aaron]

I can't. Wait, were you related to Lemon? That's the only name I remember now.

[Adol]

Was it, like, Percy?

[Matt Oberg]

It's close.

[JPC]

I'm gonna guess it was Huxtable Primrose.

[Matt Oberg]

It was Scooter McGreevy. Ooh, that rocks pretty good.

[JPC]

Scooter McCready.

[Adol]

Sounds like a new Denny's dish.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Aaron]

Were you a romantic interest for Rachel Bilson on the show?

[Matt Oberg]

Oh, no, no. Never had the pleasure of sharing the screen with Rachel, but I. Plus the romantic interest for someone briefly, and I forget who they were.

[Aaron]

Perfect.

[Matt Oberg]

Yeah.

[JPC]

Scooter McGreevy. Come a court.

[Adol]

Scooter, meet me in the gazebo.

[Matt Oberg]

Which gazebo.

[Adol]

Pans around in his 500 gazebos?

[Aaron]

I will say, you guys, that show was. I'm not even kidding. Mostly gazebos, if you could.

[Matt Oberg]

Yeah, well, I'm convinced they Warner Brothers produced that show to. Because they have that famous backlot from, like, Back to the Future. That's a town square, city hall. And they're like, we gotta shoot something in here.

[Adol]

I would love if they had, like, a warehouse full of gazebos. And, like, we gotta offload these. We gotta. We gotta make.

[Aaron]

Can we get a writer on the horn? My God.

[Adol]

So you filmed on the Back to the Future lot? Yeah.

[Matt Oberg]

It's still.

[Adol]

I mean, that's amazing.

[Matt Oberg]

That's the Warner brothers lot. It's all there.

[Adol]

That's cool as hell.

[Matt Oberg]

Yeah.

[Aaron]

All right. Couple more riddles.

[JPC]

Yes, please.

[Aaron]

This time with a good attitude. I'm really back on board. Here we go. A boxer left the ring after winning the world championship. His trainer took all the money, and he never got a cent. Why not?

[Matt Oberg]

I know it.

[Aaron]

Tell us.

[JPC]

He never got a sentence in smell.

[Aaron]

No, he never got a scent, as in.

[Adol]

I was just like. Don King was a money.

[Matt Oberg]

He probably got lots of scents because he's a dog.

[JPC]

Dog.

[Aaron]

Yes. Mystery solved.

[Matt Oberg]

I was in my brain a lateral puzzle.

[JPC]

I was going all of the wrong directions. I was like, okay, scent. Another word for. That's a smell trainer. Also a shoe. I'm like. I'm doing way more work than needs to be done here.

[Aaron]

I'd like to see maybe one last scene. I don't know. Jpc, you are one of those, like, classic cinematic trainers. And, Matt, you're the dog that he's giving a pep talk to before you get in the ring to box.

[JPC]

Okay?

[Matt Oberg]

I don't know.

[JPC]

I don't.

[Matt Oberg]

I don't think I could go out there.

[Aaron]

It's.

[Matt Oberg]

It's going to be. It's going to be rough.

[JPC]

Okay, look, you don't. You don't have to win. That's all I'm saying. You just have to go out there and give it your all for four rounds and then go down. That's all you have to do. Okay? No one's expecting you to win.

[Matt Oberg]

Wait, are you saying I have to go down in the fourth or I should go down in the fourth?

[JPC]

I'm not saying that you absolutely need to go down in the fourth, but if you felt like you could make it to the fourth, that would be kind of, like, ideal for, like, all the parties. You don't even. You could run around for a long time because he's gonna have to punch really low to hit you.

[Matt Oberg]

Yeah, but wait a second. How big am I? How big of a dog am I fighting here?

[JPC]

Oh, honey, honey, no, no, no, no, no, you're not. You're gonna be fighting a human.

[Matt Oberg]

What?

[Adol]

And here we go. We're in the fourth round of Vander Holyfield. Holyfield versus Oreo and Yvette. So far Holyfield is absolutely demolishing Oreo. Oh, and here's a wind up from Holyfield. Oh, and it looks like the trainer, Oreo's trainer in the corner is giving him a signal to sit. Roll over. Oh no. What a scandal we're seeing here today, folks.

[JPC]

Wait, is it obvious that's what I'm doing? Uh oh, scene.

[Matt Oberg]

That was improvised by the way.

[JPC]

Yeah. I would love a boxing commentator commentating live in a boxing match being like, well, it looks like his trainer is having him throw the fight. That's.

[Matt Oberg]

You can just say that I've never been to a dog show and never been to a a boxing match either. I gotta. Those would be great to go to.

[Aaron]

What do you think you'd have a better time at?

[Matt Oberg]

I've been to a cat show.

[Adol]

Whoa.

[Matt Oberg]

That was amazing.

[Aaron]

I like when they hold the cats like guns. Yeah.

[JPC]

Oh yeah. Lengthwise.

[Matt Oberg]

Cats are huge.

[Adol]

I do that with my cats where I I, I them now adult. I thought there's a better way.

[JPC]

Trepidation. If you you not say cock them and then you ended up saying them.

[Adol]

I was trying to find a better term.

[Matt Oberg]

No other way to say it.

[Adol]

Yeah, reload. I reload my cats like Henry Cavill reloads his arms in Mission Impossible. Now Matt, do you have any cats?

[Matt Oberg]

I don't. We would. Everybody loves them.

[JPC]

My wife's got a yard full of butterflies.

[Matt Oberg]

Yeah. But my wife's allergic, so. And one of my daughters, so that would. It's a bummer. So we don't have any pets right now, but it's one of our goals.

[Aaron]

It's the best. Pets are the best.

[JPC]

You gotta develop that cat inoculation. You gotta get those cat shots and so eventually you can not be allergic to cats anymore.

[Matt Oberg]

That works.

[JPC]

I know no one who's ever done it, but I do know that it is a service that can be done. But I also know that allergies just change over time. Cause I used to be allergic to cats and I'm not anymore.

[Aaron]

I know someone that did it with dogs and it worked. So wow.

[Matt Oberg]

Possible they're secure. I had no idea.

[Aaron]

Want to do one more riddle before we get to plugs and hear about your new podcast?

[Adol]

Just real quick. JPC pounced on me saying I my cat and yet would.

[Aaron]

Well, you're pouncing on your cat.

[JPC]

I used to do it with what Aaron said.

[Adol]

I know someone who did it with a dog. Suddenly we don't want to touch that, I guess.

[Matt Oberg]

Okay, she did say that. That's funny.

[JPC]

Look.

[Adol]

Thank you.

[Aaron]

I didn't say dog. And she jumped up.

[JPC]

Aaron said, I know someone who did it with a dog. I knew that that was about me, so I didn't want to jump on her because. Fair enough. I'm just pointing every gun right back at me.

[Aaron]

All right, last riddle. Last lateral thinking puzzle. What took 19 years to get into itself?

[Adol]

What took 19 years to get into itself?

[JPC]

Is this like Frasier or like.

[Aaron]

Yeah, Frasier didn't start watching frasier until season seven.

[Adol]

They really hit their stride in year 19.

[Matt Oberg]

You know, this is actually.

[JPC]

Oh, shut up. Denials. This is my Frasier.

[Adol]

Denials. Not just a brother on Frasier.

[JPC]

19 years to get into itself. Sounds like a college or something.

[Adol]

Is this like the Ten Years War?

[Matt Oberg]

Ten Years War?

[Aaron]

Yeah. Harvard didn't get into Harvard until it was 19.

[Adol]

Was there a 10 years war? Was there a.

[JPC]

There's a Hundred Years War.

[Adol]

100 Years War.

[Matt Oberg]

Great War. Is it some sort of Time Unit thing? Like a.

[Aaron]

Not a time unit, but. But I.

[JPC]

Is this something that's like. Like. Like a whiskey or like a wine that's, like, aged or something?

[Aaron]

No. You guys are thinking. No, you can. Something you can hold in your hands.

[JPC]

Oh, is it the universe from Men in Black where it zooms out and it's, like, on a cat's collar or something?

[Matt Oberg]

That's what it is.

[Adol]

It was like, Egger Guy wearing an Egger suit.

[Matt Oberg]

No, I often think people on the street might be wearing. Is that what it's called, the Egger suit?

[Adol]

Yeah. When they interviewed that woman, and she's like, it looked like Edgar, but he was wearing, like, an Egger suit. And he goes. D'Onofrio goes, Give me sugar in water.

[JPC]

Is his name Edgar? Is she trying to say Edgar?

[Adol]

His name is Edgar, but she's, like, Southern, and she says Edgar for forever.

[Matt Oberg]

I thought as an expert in the dialect, that's how you do it, Edgar.

[JPC]

I thought his name was like, E, G, G, E, R. And I just didn't. I just thought I was like, what an interesting name for a person. I didn't understand that. It was like, Edgar, before I lose.

[Adol]

It, let me just. Matthew Murdoch. Oh, Daredevil. Come here. It's me, Kingpin. I lost it. Never mind.

[Matt Oberg]

I don't know.

[Adol]

Full Metal Jacket. No, I lost it.

[JPC]

Yeah. He famously says the title of the movie in that, if you don't leave.

[Adol]

Me alone, I'm gonna go Full Metal Jacket?

[Matt Oberg]

Yeah. What's your sort of key phrase for getting into that Denoe Frio? How do you lock in like that?

[Adol]

Full Metal jacket.

[JPC]

Aaron. So the number 19, is that like, super.

[Aaron]

That's not gonna be helpful. It's just. Okay, it's not like it's something that.

[Adol]

Is this like a book? Bible?

[Aaron]

Yeah, 19.

[Matt Oberg]

It's the Bible.

[Aaron]

No, it's something like that.

[JPC]

It took 19 years to get.

[Aaron]

And it might be second place to the Bible in itself.

[Adol]

Dan Brown's Angels and Demons.

[Matt Oberg]

Yes, the new.

[Aaron]

We talk about angels and demons in the Da Vinci Code so much on the show. Why is it this is not as a culture anymore? Why does this come up so much? What is wrong with us?

[JPC]

I would love it if you went to the airport, you saw a copy of the Da Vinci Code, and it had big bold letters like a sticker on the front that just said, second popular to the Bible. Whoa.

[Matt Oberg]

Not in the culture anymore.

[JPC]

Okay, so it's a super popular book.

[Matt Oberg]

And your own opinion is that it's the second best book, second to the Bible.

[JPC]

It's the Quran.

[Aaron]

Well, not in my opinion. Not my opinion. It's just.

[JPC]

This is sales.

[Matt Oberg]

Yes, it's sales.

[Aaron]

And why would it be in itself the dictionary? Why would it be in itself? It took 19 years to get into itself.

[Adol]

It's the dictionary.

[Aaron]

The dictionary. Oh, not the dictionary.

[JPC]

No.

[Matt Oberg]

Encyclopedia?

[Aaron]

No, much more.

[JPC]

Guinness Book of World Records.

[Aaron]

Guinness Book of World Records. Fuck that book.

[JPC]

Whoa, wait. What does it have the record for most book of World Records?

[Aaron]

2Nd most sold book of all time. Which I thought. I don't know. I didn't realize that there was second place would get a spot in the book.

[JPC]

Well, it does if you write the book. If you write the book, second place gets a trophy.

[Matt Oberg]

Is that true?

[Aaron]

That lateral thinking book that I don't know where it's from says so. It must be true.

[Adol]

I do want to see a quick. I want to say a quick scene. Matt and Aaron, you're a couple and it's December 31st, and it's like 20 minutes till midnight. Your one goal for this year was to break a world record. You're almost out of time, so you're panicking to try and find a record to break.

[Aaron]

Okay, we're in so much debt trying all this stuff.

[Matt Oberg]

Okay, maybe we're the most in debt forever trying to break a world record.

[Aaron]

No, the neighbors already did that. That's why we're competing against them. Okay, let's see. Most annoying. No, best.

[Matt Oberg]

No, no. Loudest.

[Aaron]

Oh, yeah.

[JPC]

Loudest.

[Aaron]

Loudest.

[Matt Oberg]

Silliest.

[Aaron]

Angriest.

[Matt Oberg]

No, sort of a subtle objective.

[Aaron]

Okay, we got 10 seconds.

[Matt Oberg]

Okay. Quickest. Yeah.

[Aaron]

We could do something so quick. What if we. Hungriest.

[Matt Oberg]

Hungriest. Peckish. I could eat.

[Adol]

4, 3.

[Aaron]

I want a divorce.

[Matt Oberg]

I love you.

[Aaron]

I know.

[Adol]

Happy New Year. I love just going most. No, busiest.

[Aaron]

No, no, least.

[JPC]

Least. The newspaper flash hits the screen and it's like most doomed couple.

[Aaron]

Well, Matt, we would love to hear about your new headgum pod, because you're a head gummer now.

[Matt Oberg]

Was that lateral puzzle purposefully picked to segue into the theme of the podcast?

[Aaron]

Twas.

[Matt Oberg]

Oh, wow. Really good.

[Aaron]

Yeah.

[Matt Oberg]

Well, it's funny you should mention world records, because I am doing a podcast, which I'm just learning to talk about now, so bear with me. But it's me and Tony Hale and from Veep and Arrested Development, that guy. And Kristen Shaw from Everything Bob's Burgers and Play the Concord.

[Adol]

Concord.

[Matt Oberg]

Yeah. And we speak to people who essentially have broken a world record, but could also have accomplished something in a sort of unlikely realm. So we've spoken. We have, you know, 20 minute conversations with people who have broke the record for highest slack line. This guy walked a slack line between. To hot air balloons. So it wasn't the longest slack line. It was just elevation. A young man who did the most flips in one bounce from a trampoline.

[Adol]

Whoa, Jesus.

[Matt Oberg]

Twin sisters who do dog sled racing. And we've. We've. You know, so this podcast comes out in April, which, you know, your listeners will.

[JPC]

The distant past.

[Matt Oberg]

Yes, but. But I honestly thought these conversations would. These people would be just wild, but they've been a lot more kind of inspiring and profound than I thought they would be. It's sort of about ambition and confidence and risk taking and, you know, being true to your own desire, you know, in a way that.

[Adol]

That's awesome.

[Matt Oberg]

Yeah. These are people who. Who have, you know, are doing pretty out there things just to sort of please themselves, you know, so. Yeah, and they're kind of funny as well. So. And. And it's. Maybe you guys have this experience as well, but. But it's kind of fun to have conversations with strangers that have kind of a time limit. You know, you're like, oh, wow. So you get to sort of like speed data. You get to an insight into these people's lives. You can kind of just ask them questions in a way that you can't in a real world scenario. And then after whatever the allotted time is, you're like, okay, well, you got anything to plug and.

[Adol]

Do you want kids or. No, because that's going to be a big deal.

[Matt Oberg]

Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, that's the podcast and we have other little bits that sort of surround those interviews, but we'll see. It's, you know, we're in that moment right now where we're like. I don't know what the reaction will be, but it was fun to make, so it's kind of the best place to be, I feel like.

[JPC]

Yeah, for sure.

[Adol]

That's outstanding. Very excited.

[JPC]

We'll check out extraordinarians on Headgum. We'll probably throw the link in the show description as well. So you can just go right to our show description and link to their show. Matt, thank you so much for coming on. It was an absolute blast.

[Matt Oberg]

Thank you. That was so much fun. You guys are so funny and smart and great at talking.

[JPC]

What do we have to plug?

[Aaron]

You're the first person to ever say that to us.

[Adol]

Aaron Hirsch being sarcastic.

[Aaron]

Oh, right. Okay. That was a joke.

[JPC]

Aaron, do you have anything that you need to plug?

[Aaron]

No, I got nothing at all.

[Adol]

I want to plug Vincent D'Onofrio. If you've never seen the Cell. Pretty mind expanding movie. Pretty trippy. Great performance in that. Just. Yeah, his whole sort of canon is pretty great.

[JPC]

Yeah. And I'll just say very briefly that we're to remind people we're on tour this year. We're going to at least 10 cities. You can get tickets haveronovertle.com live and so we'd love to see you. If we're coming to your city. We'd love to have you come to our show. Okay, Aaron, can we open up that book and do one more lateral thinking problem? Because there's a favorite that you always pose at the end of an episode.

[Aaron]

I threw it on the ground, so I didn't throw the book behind me. So I will just say Jupiter and good night and goodbye and this season and good luck. Good luck starting.

[JPC]

Erin K. And John Patrick Cohen.

[Adol]

Casey.

[JPC]

Tony did the editing and Marty Parrot did the music.

[Matt Oberg]

Logo created by Emily Cardamus and Emily Naboris. Whoa.

[JPC]

Wow.

[Matt Oberg]

Smash cut to a cat's Casey.

[Adol]

This is what you're missing with your. When your wife has.

[Matt Oberg]

Oh, man.

[Adol]

Your wife has cat allergies. That's what you're missing, Matt.

[JPC]

Casey, I kid you not. That was a cat's asshole.

[Matt Oberg]

It was a hyper close.

[JPC]

You have to warn people. You have to warn people before you show up.

[Aaron]

I'm sorry about Casey. We're horrified. We'll fire him. We're so sorry.

[JPC]

He's done. This is his last day.

[Adol]

And I gotta tell you, if you read Tarantino's screenplays, so many of them are smash cut to a cat's ass.

[Matt Oberg]

Extreme close up.

[Adol]

Y really have to reel him in?

[Matt Oberg]

A cat's hairless, Casey.

[JPC]

You're so desperate to get an after credits in every episode that you do shit like this. Just so we have to put the cat's asshole thing up.

[Matt Oberg]

What is your cat's name?

[Adol]

That's Trey.

[Matt Oberg]

Trey. Here, Trey. Sit.

[JPC]

Trey.

[Matt Oberg]

Right there. Trey. Don't boo. Perfect.

[JPC]

Hey there, nurses and hearses. If you like that, you are going to love this week's Patreon. It's improv from a hospital. You can listen to that plus our entire back [e-mail] Haverinoettle by joining the clue crew for $5 a month or start your 7 day free trial or the review crew for $8 a month. Plus you get those ad free episodes. See you there.

[Aaron]

That was a headgum podcast. Shopify's point of sale system helps you sell at every stage of your business. Need a fast and secure way to take payments in person? We've got you covered. How about card readers you can rely on anywhere you sell.

[JPC]

Thanks.

[Aaron]

Have a good one. Yep, that too. Want one place to manage all your online and in person sales? That's kind of our thing. Wherever you sell. Businesses that grow grow with Shopify. Sign up for your $1 a month [e-mail]. listen. Shopify.com Listen.