#357: Mumble Jerry & Drumple Teazus

Summary

Podcast Title: Hey Riddle Riddle
Episode: #357: Mumble Jerry & Drumple Teazus
Release Date: May 21, 2025
Host/Authors: Adal Rifai, Erin Keif, John Patrick Coan (JPC)
Summary Prepared By: [Your Name]

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Introduction and Opening Banter

The episode kicks off with the hosts engaging in their characteristic humorous banter. Aaron Keefe announces, “[00:01] Aaron Keefe: This is a headgum podcast. McCrispy strips are now at McDonald's,” immediately setting a lighthearted tone. JPC quickly adds, “[00:07] JPC: Tender, juicy and its own sauce. Would you look at that?” highlighting their playful take on everyday topics.

Community Theater and "Cats" Anecdote

Aaron shares a personal story about attending a community theater production of "Cats." At [05:24], he recounts, “[05:24] Adol Refai: Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes,” followed by his detailed experience: “[05:26] Aaron Keefe: I took an edible and I went. And I had. I beamed up to space is what happened.” His vivid description illustrates the blend of humor and genuine enthusiasm for community theater, despite the challenges faced.

Life in LA and Community Theater Insights

The discussion shifts to life in Los Angeles and the dynamics of community theater. Adol reflects on the saturation of success and celebrity in LA, “[10:19] Adol Refai: I hear it. I think LA is so saturated with success and celebrity that it's gone back the other way.” This segues into conversations about actors working for the love of the craft, not for monetary gain, emphasizing the passion that drives community theater participants.

Home Life and Humorous Incidents

A humorous exchange about household mugs reveals the hosts' camaraderie and playful teasing. At [02:28], Adol asks, “Excuse me. Are you here to see the live taping of the hey. Riddle Riddle Podcast?” leading to a funny misunderstanding involving penguins in baseball gear. Later, at [13:40], JPC shares an awkward moment with a nanny and mismatched mugs: “[13:40] Adol Refai: Back to work.”

Improv Scenes: Pet Store and Speed Dating with a Witch

The hosts dive into improvisational scenes, enhancing the episode's entertainment value. In the pet store scene starting around [44:15], Adol plays an exotic pet store owner with fantastical creature names like “Scroungy Rug” and “Bite Rope,” while Aaron comically struggles to find an exotic pet. This segment showcases their improvisational skills and ability to create engaging, humorous narratives on the spot.

Later, at [46:46], they perform a speed dating scene where JPC portrays a witch named Agatha. Aaron attempts to break free from a magical loop, leading to humorous dialogues about curses and repetitive interactions. Adol’s prompt, “[46:46] Adol Refai: Can you imagine? A witch and a mage married,” adds a comedic twist to the scenario.

Riddle Solving and Interactive Fun

True to the podcast's name, the hosts tackle riddles, blending problem-solving with humor. One notable riddle presented at [63:33] is:

"Silver are my teeth and sharp. Straight my jaw and long. Use me carefully, my friend. My double bite is strong."

JPC attempts guesses like “bear trap” and “can opener” humorously navigating toward the correct answer:

“[64:43] JPC: It's a stapler.”

This segment exemplifies their dynamic interaction and playful competition in solving puzzles.

Pop Culture References and Humorous Banter

Throughout the episode, the hosts interweave numerous pop culture references, enhancing the comedic atmosphere. References to "Weekend at Bernie's," "Monty Python and the Holy Grail," and "Princess Bride" create a rich tapestry of humor that resonates with listeners familiar with these classics. For instance, at [49:20], Adol reminisces:

“[49:25] Adol Refai: I bring you music if you can read.”

Their ability to seamlessly incorporate and riff on these references adds depth and relatability to the conversation.

Advertisements and Sponsors

While the majority of the episode focuses on content, there are segments dedicated to sponsor messages. Notably, Rocket Money and Squarespace are promoted with humorous twists, aligning with the podcast's playful tone. For example, at [35:00], Aaron humorously interrupts their banter to deliver an ad:

“[35:00] Aaron Keefe: Hey, everybody, it's me, Aaron. I'm alone because the guys went to go see a 40x movie without me...”

These interludes maintain engagement without detracting significantly from the main content.

Closing Remarks and Final Banter

As the episode wraps up, the hosts continue their light-hearted interactions, discussing potential future collaborations and personal anecdotes. They also reflect on their riddle-solving attempts, reinforcing the episode's blend of humor, personal stories, and interactive puzzles. JPC humorously concludes:

“[58:04] JPC: We actually take turns being the dumb one.”

This self-aware humor encapsulates the friendly dynamic among the hosts, leaving listeners with a sense of camaraderie and anticipation for future episodes.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Aaron Keefe:
  “[05:24] I took an edible and I went. And I had. I beamed up to space is what happened.”

• Adol Refai:
  “[10:19] I hear it. I think LA is so saturated with success and celebrity that it's gone back the other way.”

• JPC:
  “[63:33] It's a stapler.”

• Aaron Keefe:
  “[27:05] I have a reputation for never doing riddles. But look. Look at JPC as old man puzzles.”

• Adol Refai:
  “[46:46] Can you imagine? A witch and a mage married.”

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Conclusion

Episode #357 of "Hey Riddle Riddle" masterfully blends personal anecdotes, improvisational humor, interactive riddles, and rich pop culture references. The hosts' chemistry and playful banter create an engaging listening experience, balancing structured content with spontaneous humor. Whether discussing community theater, navigating hilarious household mishaps, or unraveling puzzling riddles, Adal Rifai, Erin Keif, and John Patrick Coan deliver a memorable and entertaining episode that resonates with both regular listeners and newcomers alike.

Transcript

[Aaron Keefe]

This is a headgum podcast. McCrispy strips are now at McDonald's.

[JPC]

Tender, juicy and its own sauce. Would you look at that? Well, you can't see it, but trust me, it looks delicious. New McCrispy strips now at McDonald's.

[Adol Refai]

Pop. Pop. George Santos. George Santos. Santos Claus.

[JPC]

George Santos Claus.

[Aaron Keefe]

Santos Claus.

[JPC]

Santos Claus.

[Adol Refai]

George Santos Claus wrote a bad check.

[JPC]

For killing a dog.

[Aaron Keefe]

You guys, just as a heads up, Casey has been putting shit like this before the episode starts. I don't know if people have been checking in if we say any nonsense.

[JPC]

Before the recording, and honestly, I support it. Casey. It's funny. It's funny when you do that. All right? But this comes out so far in the future that Jorge Santos is probably. He's already probably, like, found dead in his jail cell, so we don't have to worry about it.

[Aaron Keefe]

And same with us as well. Probably.

[JPC]

Ye. Both of them were goldfish. It was the cannon of an airplane. He stabbed him with an ice.

[Adol Refai]

Excuse me. Are you here to see the live taping of the hey. Riddle Riddle Podcast?

[Aaron Keefe]

Yes, I am. I have a ticket here.

[Adol Refai]

Great. Thank you so much.

[Aaron Keefe]

Very excited.

[JPC]

And I'm actually in the show.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, Mr. Refy, it is always a pleasure.

[JPC]

Please. My friends call me Shoki.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, isn't that your daddy?

[JPC]

What's that?

[Adol Refai]

Isn't that your dad's name?

[JPC]

Isn't that my dad's name?

[Adol Refai]

I'm sorry, I shouldn't be asking you questions because you're the. You're asking the questions today. Huh?

[JPC]

Is that my dad's name?

[Adol Refai]

I think so.

[JPC]

What's my middle name?

[Adol Refai]

Shoki.

[JPC]

Okay.

[Adol Refai]

But I think in Arab culture, sometimes your dad's name becomes your middle name.

[JPC]

Sometimes in Arab cultures, your dad's name becomes your middle name.

[Aaron Keefe]

So I have my ticket pulled up, and I'm just sort of waiting for you to scan it.

[Adol Refai]

Ma' am. I'm talking to one of the stars of the show.

[Aaron Keefe]

I don't want to interrupt you. I just also.

[JPC]

So I get a middle name, and then somehow my dad's name becomes my middle name.

[Adol Refai]

Mm.

[JPC]

So my dad chose the name Shoki, and then it was like, oh, fuck, I forgot. Now I'm called Shoki.

[Aaron Keefe]

Can I just walk in?

[Adol Refai]

No.

[Aaron Keefe]

See my tickets on my phone?

[Adol Refai]

No, because you have to be photographed next to. We actually brought in some penguins and put them in baseball gear. Just as, like, a fun stunt. The penguins are actually biting a lot of people. But we do have to look at them.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, they look really upset.

[Adol Refai]

They're pissed.

[JPC]

Wait a Second in the email. The penguins are supposed to be dead. These are supposed to be stuffed penguins. Ma' Am, I see your face. We weren't going to kill penguins. These are existing dead penguins.

[Aaron Keefe]

Why are you using air quotes when you tell me this?

[JPC]

Oh, shit. I forgot that people can see me in real life. Usually I just do that on the podcast that I get away with. Okay, can we give her the dead penguin treatment? Can we?

[Adol Refai]

Make way. Make way. Well, my name is Aaron and I'm here to say make way.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, God. Actually, I am gonna head home, I think. I can't do this, man. I can't do this. No, no.

[Adol Refai]

Co host Aaron Keefe is right behind you.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, I know. See you guys later. Well, that was rude. That was kind of crazy and rude.

[JPC]

Hey, JPC's here.

[Adol Refai]

JPC.

[Aaron Keefe]

Hey.

[JPC]

Wow. Well, his name's JPC. Imagine JPC calling something crazy and rude. It really must have been crazy and rude.

[Aaron Keefe]

Where do I park my horse? Closer. The horse is horny.

[JPC]

Put that fist. Puts out fist. Park your horse right here. Puts out fist.

[Aaron Keefe]

That is something Adol would say.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Adol Refai]

Yes. Adol would say fisting a horse. Of course.

[JPC]

You know what JPC would say? JPC would say, hey, it's jpc. Welcome to hey Riddle. Riddle. That's Adel, and over there is Aaron Keefe.

[Aaron Keefe]

Help.

[JPC]

No, no, no. No help for you. Okay, no help for you.

[Aaron Keefe]

You guys go ahead.

[Adol Refai]

For today's episode, call me Shoki.

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay?

[JPC]

Call me Shoki.

[Adol Refai]

Aaron, what we're doing.

[Aaron Keefe]

I love that song. I love that song. I was going to say I. I'm. I had one of the best nights of my life recently.

[JPC]

Oh, wait, Aaron, Was this the magical 24 hours that we spent together?

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, no. Well, I actually contacted a priest after those 24 hours and I asked him if hell could be on earth and he said yes. He said, thank you.

[JPC]

You should have called a locksmith to get those fucking handcuffs off. Okay. I don't know. I don't know why you weren't calling anybody. You think? I had a great time. Me handcuffed to Aaron. Aaron on her phone the whole fucking time.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, to try to Google how to get out of handcuffs.

[JPC]

Try to Google.

[Aaron Keefe]

All right, babe, whatever.

[JPC]

How was your night?

[Aaron Keefe]

Whatever. So I went and. Adult. You would have loved this. I went to a community theater production of Cats.

[Adol Refai]

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

[Aaron Keefe]

I took an edible and I went. And I had. I beamed up to space is what happened. And now Cats is stuck in my head. It was. It was so fun. The People. I went with, like, seven people. And everyone just decided to have the time of their lives. And everyone. We were all dancing. We were enthusiastic. We bought cat ears for $3.

[JPC]

Oh. At the show.

[Aaron Keefe]

At the show.

[JPC]

Wow. Smart.

[Aaron Keefe]

You guys. It was a Jellicoe ball. I. I had the time of my life. I did. I. A lot of these seven people I had not met before. And two moments happened that made me laugh so hard. At the intermission, I was like, I was the only one who was really high. Right. Everyone else was sort of high on life. And they were like, well, you're plugged into something that we probably can't see in this production. And I was like, yeah. I mean, I'm really in it. I really feel like they're cats or Cats the Matrix. But also, I was like, I feel like I know what choreography is coming next. I'm experiencing time in sort of a different way currently.

[JPC]

Interesting.

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay. So I felt like if anyone were to have gotten hurt, I would have known what to do. So I was sort of on that level. And at the intermission, this woman. Yeah.

[Adol Refai]

What does that mean?

[JPC]

Well, I. You lost me on the. Someone gets hurt, you know. What are you saying? Like, you know, cat cpr. What's going.

[Aaron Keefe]

No, no. Like, if someone were to get hurt on stage, I could take over for them.

[JPC]

Oh, you could. Okay, gotcha.

[Adol Refai]

That makes sense.

[JPC]

That's the big concern. Have you ever seen a live event if someone gets hurt on stage? The big concern is how. How do we keep the show going?

[Aaron Keefe]

Yes, of course. Well, I'm a vet, so I could treat the cats that are on the stage. A woman that I had not met before. I'm in a row of people, and everyone's like, who's your favorite cat? And I go, well, right now, I think it's Mungo Jerry and Rumpel tz. And she went, huh?

[Adol Refai]

Wait, this is a breed? Or what did she mean?

[Aaron Keefe]

No, like a cat in the show. But I like mumble, generally. And then also, I said those words, and I felt so neck exposed, embarrassed. And I was like, no, you're right. The sounds I'm making are nonsense sounds.

[Adol Refai]

Aaron, say those two names again, as if you are high out of your mind. Who are your favorite cats?

[Aaron Keefe]

Right now? It's probably Mumbo Jerry and Drumpletees.

[Adol Refai]

Okay, I hear it.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah.

[Adol Refai]

Mumbo Jerry and Drumple Teases.

[Aaron Keefe]

It made me laugh. I have not stopped thinking about her going, huh? I was like, yeah, that makes sense.

[Adol Refai]

Cause that checks out.

[Aaron Keefe]

Saying nonsense words.

[Adol Refai]

What is a Jellicle? Choice, Aaron.

[Aaron Keefe]

A Jellicle Ball.

[Adol Refai]

What is a Jellicle choice?

[Aaron Keefe]

I don't know what a Jellicle choice is.

[Adol Refai]

Cause at the Jellicle Ball, don't they make a Jellicle choice?

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, well, they're choosing who gets to go to heaven, and they're deciding which cat. And there's a cat that's, like a bajillion years old, that's like an acting cat.

[Adol Refai]

Oh.

[Aaron Keefe]

That Ian McKellen played in the movie Acting Cat.

[JPC]

So what does that mean? Like, the cat got sick and they're like, okay, we're gonna designate you acting Cat. He's like a lone survivor.

[Aaron Keefe]

He. No, he was like. He, like, did plays and stuff, and his introduction, he's, like, literally begging to die. He's like, I'm so old. I've been around for so long. But then they send the cat that used to be beautiful, but now is ugly and old.

[Adol Refai]

James. Judi Dench.

[Aaron Keefe]

No, Dame Judi Dench is not. Does not die at the end. It's like the Jennifer Hudson cat who sings Memory gets sent to heaven at the end of the show. It's cats, you guys. It's cats. They all introduce themselves, and then one of the cats goes to heaven based.

[Adol Refai]

On a book of poems.

[JPC]

I forget that because, like, LA is like, where the professionals go to do, you know, acting in the movies and the TV shows. That they also have community theater there as well. It seems like the one place in the world where you wouldn't need that. Cause you're like, whatever community you did the theater in, you leave that, and then you come to LA to do the other things. But it's.

[Aaron Keefe]

But it's so cool because it's like, they're not getting paid, so it's people who have, like, other jobs.

[JPC]

That is fun.

[Adol Refai]

That's so cool, Aaron. That's so cool. Here's what I think. I think LA is fun.

[JPC]

It's fun. They like it. They like it there.

[Aaron Keefe]

That's not what I meant. That's not what I meant.

[JPC]

It's fun for them because they don't get any money for it. So it's like play. It's like all play for them. Aaron, you sound like Hitler. Casey. Beep. Hitler. Don't let me be saying Hitler. Aaron. You sound like Hitler.

[Adol Refai]

Go to the zoo with Aaron, and she's like, the monkeys are so happy. This is, like their natural habitat.

[Aaron Keefe]

They're thrilled. This is not something that, like, actors who are, like, they're not trying. This is not like actors who are Working in la, they're like, wow. You guys get what I'm saying? They're doing it for the love of the game. They love it.

[JPC]

Wow.

[Adol Refai]

Here's what I think.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm digging in a deeper, deeper hole. I get it.

[Adol Refai]

I hear it. I think LA is so saturated with success and celebrity that it's gone back the other way. Cause it's like you can walk into any restaurant and see Jon Hamm and Rosie Perez clinking glasses.

[JPC]

They love restaurants. Those too.

[Adol Refai]

They love little doms, big restaurant heads. So when you can see anybody you have ever seen in your life anywhere on the street, it's now fun to go see, like bad productions.

[JPC]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Aaron Keefe]

But I will say you were in that production. Go ahead.

[JPC]

When the hottest guy from your hometown moves to la.

[Adol Refai]

Clark.

[JPC]

Everyone can't be an actor there. So that means it's Clark. So that means now they have to have like the hottest guy you've ever seen digging holes and stuff. Because you're like, we got to have a guy digging holes. And you know, you're. It doesn't matter that you're like a hot, good looking guy. You got to dig holes. And I got a bunch. A whole town full of hot guys digging holes.

[Adol Refai]

Shia LaBeouf.

[JPC]

Shia LaBeouf truly digging his own hole.

[Adol Refai]

For a while now.

[JPC]

For a while now.

[Aaron Keefe]

If you were in that production, thank you for a great night of theater. I think it has got to be my top three favorite nights in la.

[Adol Refai]

Wow.

[Aaron Keefe]

I had the best time.

[JPC]

Okay.

[Aaron Keefe]

And I'll be a patron of this theater.

[Adol Refai]

Moving forward, I would like to see, you know, let's hearken back to classic comedies like Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle. I want to see a movie that's Aaron Keefe High out of her mind. And the whole movie is just her trying to make it through the night. And at some point, she gets wrapped up into a community theater production of Cats Summon, gets injured. She has to go on. It's a showstopper standing O.

[Aaron Keefe]

You think I could win an Oscar for this?

[JPC]

So Seth Rogen grew up and now we don't get to see screwball weed comedies anymore? No, we should still get him. We just need a new Seth Rogen. He can't do it. He's got gray hair. But we need, we need screwball weed comedies.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah, it's me.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm the new Seth Rogen. I'm obviously the natural successor.

[JPC]

Uh huh, uh huh.

[Adol Refai]

Okay, well, Aaron, let's hear your goofy ass laugh. Yeah, that'll do. That'll do well.

[JPC]

Damn. Anyways, she looked like Dave Franco, but she laughed like Seth Rogen. The whole package. Just like Dave Franco. Aaron.

[Aaron Keefe]

What's up, guys? Riddles, puzzles, Lateral thinking problems? Or.

[Adol Refai]

She's reading our description. She's reading the description of the podcast.

[Aaron Keefe]

Three Chicago comedians who are friends.

[JPC]

No, we gotta update that. It hasn't been true in a long time. I had embarrassing, uh, what I thought would be, like a fun moment, but turned out to be kind of an embarrassing moment upstairs just moments ago. Well, we have a nanny that comes in a couple times a week, mostly because I only work a little bit a week, and so I need someone to cover me when I'm working. Um, but we. I was coming downstairs to. I was getting a coffee and coming downstairs to get a coffee, and I saw that our nanny was drinking out of a coffee mug that said world's best dad. And I said, oh, interesting. So you're the world's best dad, huh? And she said, well, the only other mug in there said, don't talk to me till I've had my mug full of piss. And I said, okay, well, you know, I did.

[Adol Refai]

Back to work.

[JPC]

Yep, I gotta go. I was like, exit stage right.

[Aaron Keefe]

And I could proudly say, I think I bought you that mug.

[JPC]

And I did say to her, I did say, just so we're clear, I have never purchased a mug. All of the mugs at this house are mugs that people gave.

[Aaron Keefe]

That's worse. That means people were thinking about you specifically when they gave you a mug.

[Adol Refai]

And I can't stress enough.

[JPC]

I don't know necessarily what that means.

[Adol Refai]

I can't stress enough. I think our merch store would be wildly successful if we combined those two ideas and made World's Piss Dad. Because World's number one dad. What is number one? Peeing World's Piss Dad.

[JPC]

I think this world's Pissed Dad. What about a cup that says world's Best dad and there's a little asterisk, and then the cup on the other side says drinking piss.

[Aaron Keefe]

All right, look in our merch store today. That should be up, everybody, if you want to report us to Tea Public.

[JPC]

I'm the world's best at drinking piss Dad. I honestly could be the best at that. That seems. That seems like a low bar. There can't be a lot of those, right?

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, you'd be surprised. The world is horrible. Horrible.

[JPC]

Hold on, let me just type in piss drinking daddies and see what I get. Okay, hold on. Got to make some bookmarks for later.

[Aaron Keefe]

This is exactly at my pervert again. Aaron, that's your brand.

[Adol Refai]

Wait, what?

[Aaron Keefe]

What? Wait, what?

[JPC]

When Adol was in the old timey British Navy, he did get the perverts brand, which is exactly what I think.

[Adol Refai]

We had a little song too. Well, we're perverts and we're British, which is nothing but the same. They're synonymous.

[JPC]

An island full of nonces. This is your first run along full of nonsense. Here we go. Two arms. I'm old man puzzles, if it wasn't fucking obvious. And here's one of your puzzles. Two arms, no hands. One head, no mouth. One chest, no heart. One back, no spine. One body, not mine.

[Adol Refai]

This is what a doctor says on trial.

[Aaron Keefe]

It's not a book, it's not a clock.

[JPC]

Not a book, not a clock. This also sounds like it could be like a Bob Marley song, right? Like two arms, no woman, no head.

[Aaron Keefe]

No woman, no head.

[JPC]

What is the message of that? Best not to look too far into what? No woman, no head.

[Adol Refai]

Can you read it one more time?

[JPC]

Two arms, no hands. Okay, so two arms, no hands. One head, no mouth. One chest, no heart. One back, no spine. One body, not mine.

[Aaron Keefe]

Wait, what was the heart? 1. You cut out for the heart, one chest.

[JPC]

No, I didn't do shit. Aaron. You cut out.

[Aaron Keefe]

Sorry.

[Adol Refai]

Aaron. Apologize.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm sorry. Jpc.

[JPC]

Aaron. It was probably one chest, no heart.

[Aaron Keefe]

One chest, no heart.

[Adol Refai]

Is this the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie?

[JPC]

Oh, God, I wish.

[Aaron Keefe]

Is it is the kind of chest like a treasure chest type thing?

[JPC]

No, it's not. Is it still okay to watch the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie? Because Johnny Depp sucks, but he's like playing such a larger than life character in that. I feel like it's fine, right?

[Aaron Keefe]

I feel like there's other good parts of the movie. Just because you're.

[JPC]

Orlando Bloom parts, the Keira Knightley parts.

[Adol Refai]

Mackenzie Crook, of course, Gareth in the original Office.

[JPC]

Wow.

[Adol Refai]

Who has one of the funniest lines in all of sitcom history, which is, do you ever think there will be a boy born who swims faster than a shark?

[JPC]

I think it's probably okay to watch. You just have to tell. If you're watching with a child, you have to be like, that guy actually is a bad man. Yeah, that guy's a bad man. He took a shit on someone's bed. Or it was the opposite. It doesn't actually matter, but whatever happened, it was fucked up. Me just pointing out actors. He was actually in a fucked up situation.

[Adol Refai]

James Spader.

[JPC]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You see Ultron, Ultron actually had some.

[Adol Refai]

Trauma, so Ultron actually tied up his secretary.

[JPC]

So.

[Adol Refai]

Jbc, can we get a little hint?

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah.

[JPC]

Okay. This is an inanimate object. Two arms, no hands. One head, no mouth. One chest. No heart. One back, no spine. One body. Not mine.

[Aaron Keefe]

Um. It's like a chair.

[JPC]

It's not a chair. Aaron, that's a great.

[Adol Refai]

Is this a CPR dummy? No. They have heads.

[JPC]

They do have heads.

[Aaron Keefe]

A car.

[JPC]

Otherwise it'd be hard to do the cpr. You could just do a chest compression dummy. They don't need a head. But you gotta do that. You gotta do that part where you blow into the mouth. It's not a car. But CPR dummy is not closest. But it's no mannequin.

[Aaron Keefe]

I was gonna say it's mannequin.

[JPC]

It's on the right track. But it's not. No, it's not. It's not.

[Adol Refai]

A lot of mannequins don't have heads. Wouldn't it be funny if the movie Mannequin was made? But it's with one of those mannequins that doesn't have a head. And it's just a body. It's just an hour and a half rom com of a body running around, stumbling into things.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah.

[Adol Refai]

And then they finally kill her.

[Aaron Keefe]

That's a horror movie.

[JPC]

It's a horror movie.

[Aaron Keefe]

That is a horror movie.

[JPC]

Does anyone remember? First of all, I haven't seen Weekend at Bernie's in decades. I remember.

[Aaron Keefe]

Do you add it to the review crew?

[JPC]

No. That's right. Pizza places used to do, like, deals where you, like, order a pizza and they also. It came with a movie. Do you guys remember that? Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Adol Refai]

Yes.

[JPC]

So I think it was like. I don't know where it was. Papa John's Pizza. I remember as a kid, there was a pizza deal that came with a copy of weekend at Bernie's 2 or 3. And I think I watched that one. Whatever sequel to Weekend at Bernie's. I think I watched that one. I'd never watched the original Weekend at Bernie's, but I was familiar enough with it. But what I don't remember is Bernie in various states of, like, decomposition. Like, the more of those movies that they make. Is he just like, no, they can't do that.

[Aaron Keefe]

That would be unwatchable.

[Adol Refai]

I remember.

[JPC]

But the whole movie is a screwball comedy with a corpse.

[Adol Refai]

I remember my first time going to New York ever and seeing a Broadway show. We went and saw Elaine Stritch at Liberty, which is like, Elaine Stritch's One woman show. And she kissed me after the show, which is another story. And a picture right behind me. My friend and I had, like, balcony seats right behind us with Jonathan Silverman. I think his name was the guy from Weekend at Birdies.

[JPC]

Oh, the. Not the. Not Bernie.

[Adol Refai]

Not Bertie.

[JPC]

Got it. One of the. One of the two guys.

[Adol Refai]

One of the two guys. But we saw him, and we thought it was so funny. We had better seats than him. And so we just kept being like, how's your weekend? And we thought it was so funny to just, like, keep saying weekend and kind of, like, side glance at him. He seemed pretty miserable. Probably because shithead likes shitheads like me.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Aaron Keefe]

So funny.

[JPC]

Okay, so, yeah, it's not a mannequin and it's not a corpse. Two arms.

[Aaron Keefe]

No, we're still doing this riddle.

[Adol Refai]

I do want to.

[JPC]

One head, no mouth.

[Adol Refai]

Jbc. You are. You work in a department store. It's after midnight. Aaron, you're a mannequin that JPC has just somehow brought to life through, like, a magical hat he put on you or something.

[JPC]

Holy shit, it worked. Whoa. Oh. Hey. Hey. My name is Jeff. Don't be alarmed.

[Aaron Keefe]

Hey, Jeff. Before you say anything, we are conscious all the time. So even when we're not talking, I can sort of see and hear what you do. Okay. So before you say anything else, know that I've seen and heard everything you've done.

[JPC]

Okay. Okay. So a lot of times what I'm doing is I'm listening to podcasts, and it's not even me saying that. I'm just, like. I'm just kind of absently saying the things that the podcasts are saying.

[Aaron Keefe]

Right.

[JPC]

So it's like they're not even my thoughts.

[Aaron Keefe]

And you stealing from the store is.

[JPC]

Oh, that's.

[Aaron Keefe]

That's all you.

[JPC]

That's how you. Yeah, no, I steal from the store. Yeah, that's fine. Okay, cool. No, yeah, that's fine.

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay.

[JPC]

It's just stealing from the store and.

[Aaron Keefe]

You dance with the mannequins at night.

[JPC]

Okay. What am I gonna do? Not dance with the mannequins at night? Like, I'll never be a better dancer if I don't practice, you know? Is that weird?

[Aaron Keefe]

So your marriage is over?

[JPC]

Absolutely over. Yeah. I'm sleeping here most nights, and I know I work nights, so the fact that I'm sleeping here is, like, kind of, like the best job ever. Like, they don't check, you know?

[Aaron Keefe]

Right.

[JPC]

I just got to, like, put my little pin on the.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm sorry. I feel like I'm interrupting you. You brought me to life for a reason. Can't wait to find out what it was. What's going on?

[JPC]

Hey, so in the movie Weekend at Bominis, does he put me back to sleep?

[Aaron Keefe]

What's that put me back to sleep scene? You sound like a newsy in that scene.

[JPC]

Bringing a mannequin.

[Adol Refai]

Boy, Niece.

[JPC]

Bringing a mannequin back to life to ask questions about a movie.

[Adol Refai]

They're like, hey, man, all I've seen is inside the Sears.

[JPC]

Okay, so it's not mannequin, but like, oh, my God. Mannequin is kind of close and, you know, a doll. No, but it's in the same, like, room that a mannequin would be in. You probably find this great hanger on tops, adult. It's not a great deal on a top, but tops. Tops.

[Adol Refai]

It's a shirt.

[JPC]

It is specifically T shirt. The answer here is specifically a type of clothing that is a top. I don't know that it.

[Aaron Keefe]

A blouse.

[JPC]

No, I don't know that it matters. I think a T shirt works for this. Yeah, because it doesn't. I don't think it says. Oh, I guess it says one head, no mouth. And that's the only part where I think it would matter. That this is something that has something. It's a hoodie. Yes. Otherwise, I think it could be a T shirt. But I think the fact that there is a hood with, like, the empty head there means. Do you call the top of a T shirt where it opens up the mouth of the shirt? No, no.

[Adol Refai]

Call it the neck hole.

[JPC]

The neck. Just the neck.

[Aaron Keefe]

I need another. I need to cleanse the palate. I need another riddle quickly. That one made me feel not good.

[JPC]

Here's your second riddle. And weakened at Bernie's 3.

[Aaron Keefe]

No.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, boy.

[JPC]

Okay.

[Adol Refai]

There's a third one.

[JPC]

There must be a third one. They wouldn't have stopped at 2, right?

[Aaron Keefe]

He's just a skeleton for that one. Right.

[JPC]

Too much grape left on the vine.

[Adol Refai]

The people he's talking to are like, that's clearly a dead man between the two of you. And they're like, no, no, no Hawaiian shirt.

[JPC]

It was also like the 80s. And I think that the man who played Bernie, I think he got, like, seriously hurt. I think he was, like, doing a lot of those stunts too. Yeah, I think it was like, jpc.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm begging you to give me some good news.

[JPC]

All right, here's your next Reynold. My home is often loud. Fucking tell me about it. Cause I'm in it. But I am Quiet. My home is always moving, but I move faster. If I am brought from my home into your home, I will not live. If you leave your home and stay too long in my home, you will not live.

[Adol Refai]

Fish. Shark. Whale.

[JPC]

It is a fish in a river. Wow. Okay. I do want to see a scene.

[Adol Refai]

Wait, is that true?

[JPC]

It's a fish in a river? Yeah. I think it's because my home is often loud, but I'm quiet. My home is often moving, but I move faster. Yeah. Fish swim in the river.

[Adol Refai]

You bring a freshwater fish into your house, it dies.

[JPC]

Yeah, I'm assuming if you don't put it in water. If you just, like, bring it into your house. Unless you have a waterhouse.

[Adol Refai]

Why? I think those are called aquariums.

[JPC]

Yeah, but you.

[Adol Refai]

Freshwater aquariums.

[JPC]

You don't live in an aquarium. Oh, yeah. I want to see a scene. I want to see.

[Adol Refai]

I've never walked into someone's house and seen a freshwater salmon in an aquarium tank.

[JPC]

I want to see a scene. Aaron Adol has just purchased a new house, and it is. He's having you over. He's very excited you're bringing a housewarming gift, but you quickly realize that he is living in an aquarium store. Like a pet store.

[Adol Refai]

Claire. Oh, my gosh. Thank you so much for coming.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, my gosh. I brought pie.

[Adol Refai]

Ooh, yum, yum, yum. What kind?

[Aaron Keefe]

Sorry, are we gonna walk down to your place or.

[Adol Refai]

I'm sorry, what kind?

[Aaron Keefe]

Yes, I, I guess you did ask the question first. Apple.

[Adol Refai]

Apple, yum.

[Aaron Keefe]

Maybe that's. What kind of pie? Are we gonna walk down to your place?

[Adol Refai]

This is my house. This is my house. Let me give you the grand tour. I guess those words are already French. I didn't need to do that.

[Aaron Keefe]

Huh?

[Adol Refai]

Here is. These are walls. Clear walls.

[Aaron Keefe]

Sorry. No, no, you're right. You're probably. This is probably fine.

[Adol Refai]

As I was saying, here's my walls.

[Aaron Keefe]

No, I'm gonna say it. I know. You know, I, I, we're all being patient with you post divorce, but I actually do need to. What is this?

[Adol Refai]

We're all being patient with you post divorce?

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, the friend group. We're all, like, just really trying to be happy for you when you try to get back on your feet. We're all really worried about you. It's, like, seems pretty dire trying to.

[Adol Refai]

Be happy for me.

[JPC]

You know.

[Aaron Keefe]

Emily is really sweet, and we all really get along with Emily. You know what I mean? We all, like, really love Emily, but. No, please. So we were saying.

[Adol Refai]

We were. I was Saying, these are my glass walls.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah. Okay.

[Adol Refai]

So the water behind it.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah. I'm gonna go.

[Adol Refai]

Can I just say something?

[Aaron Keefe]

Sure.

[Adol Refai]

I've always loved you, and I want you to live in my aquarium.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah. You're wearing snorkel goggles and wet and matted to your forehead.

[Adol Refai]

I took a box cutter and tried to open up some gills on me, and that went pretty bad.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah. I'm gonna pick Emily.

[Adol Refai]

Hold on.

[Aaron Keefe]

Hold on. I'm picking Emily.

[Adol Refai]

Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.

[Aaron Keefe]

Hold on.

[Adol Refai]

Watch me swim. Watch me swim. Okay. Let me get up this ladder. Into my walls.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm down the block.

[JPC]

Man found dead swimming in fish tank. Contortionist. Cramming your body into, like, a big fish tank. Did you guys ever fish growing up?

[Adol Refai]

I went fishing two or three times. Only caught. I've only caught bluegill.

[JPC]

Okay.

[Adol Refai]

Which, if you're familiar with Midwest fish, not a prize.

[JPC]

What about owning a fish tank? Did you have, like, a fish tank in the house?

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, yeah. Big time.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, yeah, Big time. We had some. What are those? Betta. Betta fish. I guess I had one.

[JPC]

Would you ever now, as an adult, consider having a fish tank?

[Adol Refai]

Never in a million years.

[JPC]

That's so crazy. We had a fish tank growing up as well. But, like, I can't think of a thing that I would rather do less than have, like, fish in my house.

[Aaron Keefe]

The smell is weird. It's high maintenance. You gotta take them out and put them, like, the right temperature in a bag and then clean the tank. Like, it's so much work.

[Adol Refai]

Cleaning an aquarium is the most laborious process I've ever been a part of.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah.

[JPC]

And it's like, you don't really get much out of it unless people are, like, super into fish or whatever. And maybe it's one of those things where it's, like, seeing them brightens your day and, you know, God love you and whatever. That's fine. It's just so crazy that, like, I know a lot of people that had fish as kids, and they're like, why did we do that? Why was that something that happened in our house?

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah. Can fish love you back?

[JPC]

I don't know.

[Adol Refai]

No, they forget. Every three seconds, they forget who you are. I don't think I've walked into a house and seen a fish bowl, an aquarium, fish tank in 25 years.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Adol Refai]

Truly, I have not seen a home aquarium or fishbowl in 25 years.

[Aaron Keefe]

I don't think I have either.

[JPC]

One of my first apartments that I ever lived on, it was next to two businesses. And the business was an aquarium store in a sub shop. And we went to this submarine sandwich shop, like the first day that we lived in this apartment. And the food was absolutely disgusting. We never saw anyone in either business. And I lived there for a year. And we were like, these both have to be front businesses. Like, they must just be money laundering businesses because who's buying an aquarium in Chicago and who's. With all the food options that you have? No one is ever in this disgusting sub shop. And it's like. And disgusting sub shop is like Subway and they're on every corner. Like you could. Crazy. Absolutely crazy.

[Aaron Keefe]

Ugh. Yeah.

[JPC]

Yeah. I would. I don't think I would ever want to. Want to own an aquarium. I just don't. I just don't see what. I just don't see what you get out of it.

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay.

[JPC]

If.

[Aaron Keefe]

If you do. If you're listening to this and you have an aquarium, tell us what you like about it. I want to know. I'm trying to learn.

[JPC]

Because the other thing that I think. And this is like a little bit morbid, but I. We had an aquarium growing up and I remember the fish would die all the time.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah.

[JPC]

And I guess if you're like, trying to get accustomed to, like, pet death, you know, that's some. There's like some benefit to like, understanding that some things have longer lifespans and whatever. But man, it was miserable every time we found a dead fish because they're just like floating at the top of the thing and you're like, oh, no.

[Adol Refai]

What I hated was.

[Aaron Keefe]

Go ahead.

[Adol Refai]

What I hated was growing up, we had a fish tank with a few. We had like, neons. This is separate from the betta fish because I think betta fish kill anything else. But we had like little neons, which are kind of fun little fish.

[JPC]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know those.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah. Have like a little A stripe on them that glows some other fish. And then what always upset me was we had one of those, like, sucker guys.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Adol Refai]

That just gloms onto the side of the tank and apparently like cleans algae or something. But I feel like I would always look at the tank as like an 8 year old and be like, oh, this is so cool and beautiful. And the. We have the ocean in our living room. And then I'd make eyes with this little sucker fish. I'd be like, this is the grossest 10 pound leech I've ever seen in my life.

[JPC]

10 pound, that's big for those sucker fish. And back to your Little bubble castle. You fucking bastard.

[Aaron Keefe]

Gpc. If your kid, like when they are a little bit older, develops like a true passion for fish and like it's their hyper fixation. Would you get them a fish tank if they had like, if they begged for it?

[JPC]

Oh, absolutely. I think it's such a good idea if like a kid really wants a pet, get the pet because that will never. First of all, their attention spans are so long that they'll be so interested in that pet for as long as that pet lives and they'll want to help clean up and stuff.

[Aaron Keefe]

He's being fantastic.

[JPC]

The only thing that my kid is getting is a one way ticket into beauty college because they will never work a day in their life. Now.

[Adol Refai]

Jpc, on the other side of the coin, what if your kid develops a little bit older? A deep interest in fish. They love the album Hoist.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yes.

[Adol Refai]

Jumping on trampolines while playing guitars is the epitome of musicianship.

[JPC]

You know what? That I am fine with because I feel like at that point I will be in the right era of my life to like a jam band. Now I'm assuming that all the original members of Fish are dead at this point. It's just John Mayer and like the John Mayer crew.

[Adol Refai]

By the way, it's John Mayer plus Mars Volta.

[JPC]

I was hanging out with Janet Varney not too long ago and we were having brunch and she said, I can't remember if it was her or Brandon, her partner, but she said John Legend instead of John Mayer. Like John Legend played with Fish. And I was like, that to me would be a stellar concert.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, that would be interesting.

[Adol Refai]

Some piano.

[JPC]

There's like jam band thing and like John Legend just doing his like sexual crooning. Like an 18 minute sexual crooning song.

[Adol Refai]

It's like Sinatra sitting with the Stones and it's like, I guess that's a little weird.

[JPC]

So yeah, I think I'd be into that. I think that I would be at the right age to like have jam bands be like a. And also I've never been to a Fish concert. I have friends that are into fish. I'm kind of fascinated by it in a way, but never to the point where I'm like, I would go to this, but I would absolutely get dragged to a fish concert with my kid being like, I want to see fish. I'm like, yeah, let's do it.

[Adol Refai]

I'll say I went to Bonnaroo in 2003 and I was on a lot of edibles and I went and Saw Trey Anastasio solo, and it was with an. Oh, sorry. It was him. He's the only member of Fish, but then he had a full orchestra.

[JPC]

Okay.

[Adol Refai]

And I'll say it's pretty incredible, but if I'm not. If I'm not on drugs, I hate, like, Mo Humphrey McGee. Like, I hate all that jam music.

[JPC]

Yeah, yeah.

[Adol Refai]

Unless I'm on inedible, I don't.

[JPC]

There's, like, an artistry to it. I don't necessarily mind it, but, like, I don't think I'm ever putting on a Fish album to be like, this is something I'll listen to.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, yeah, I get it. And I get the appeal. My brain always is like, there are other things if I have money to spend that I would rather see or do.

[JPC]

Yeah. Aaron's like, I could go watch bum fights. It's gonna be fun.

[Aaron Keefe]

I never said that. I do that, but I don't talk about it.

[Adol Refai]

We should say, aaron's wearing a big Kimbo slice sweater. Aaron, you're obsessed with Kimbo slice.

[JPC]

Aaron, you love Kimbo Slice.

[Aaron Keefe]

I do. I do love Kimbo Slice.

[Adol Refai]

We got her. We got her.

[Aaron Keefe]

We got her. We got her.

[JPC]

Casey, clip it. We finally have Aaron Slice.

[Adol Refai]

Aaron loves Kimbo Slice. Aaron loves Kimbo slice.

[JPC]

I think that Aaron. Just checking in. You understand completely, correct?

[Aaron Keefe]

Yep.

[JPC]

Great. Let's take a break.

[Aaron Keefe]

We have not earned a break this episode, by the way.

[JPC]

No, we haven't.

[Aaron Keefe]

We have not earned it. Hey, everybody, it's me, Aaron. I'm alone because the guys went to go see a 40x movie without me, and I didn't want to throw up down my chest, so here I am. But I'm going to talk to you instead about my favorite app on my phone, Rocket Money. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Rocket Money will even try to negotiate lower bills for you. They automatically scan your bills to find opportunities to save. Then you can ask them to negotiate for you. They'll deal with customer service so you don't have to. It's like having a little assistant in your pocket. Rocket Money has over 5 million users and has saved a total of 500 million in canceled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year. When they use all the app's premium features, you can see all your subscriptions in one place and know exactly where your money is going. For ones you don't want anymore, Rocket Money can help cancel them. I always sign up for free trials and then like many great people before me, I forget I've done it. But Rocket Money has that covered for me. Oh, that all just texted me. They're all very sick from watching a movie and being thrown around while watching it. That's too bad. Okay, well cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Download the Rocket Money app and enter hey Riddle Riddle in the survey so they know we sent you. Don't wait. Download the Rocket Money app today and tell them you heard about it from hey Riddle Riddle Zorp. Anything to add? He has headphones in this podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Adel and JPC are not here, so it's time to make my website that is dedicated to roasting them and I'm going to use Squarespace. Squarespace is the all in one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online. Whether you're just starting out or scaling your business, Squarespace gives you everything you need to claim your domain, showcase your offerings with a professional website, grow your brand and get paid all in one place. They make it so easy to be slick and professional. From consultations to events and experiences. Showcase your offerings with a customizable website designed to attract clients and grow your business. Get paid on time with professional on brand invoices and online payments. Plus streamline your workflow with built in appointment scheduling and email marketing tools. And this is going to be great for people who want to sort of fund me roasting Adel and JPC into oblivion because I can fundraise directly on my website and grow my impact with built in donation tools. Create a professional on brand website that makes it easy to accept one time or recurring contributions and engage supporters. With built in email campaigns and marketing tools you can connect with your community and inspire more people to support your cause. Okay, I'm going to upload these videos of Adel and JPC doing super embarrassing things, slipping on ice, doing other stuff. It's the only one I could think of. But this is good because Squarespace makes it easy to showcase your expertise and engage clients with video content on your website. Upload and organize your videos, create stunning video libraries, and even monetize your content by adding a paywall. Perfect for online courses, exclusive tutorials and premium workshops on like how you can roast Adeline JPC correctly. You sort of have to go for something that is like they're sensitive about to cause the most harm, but I'll get into that on the website. Head to squarespace.com heyriddle riddle for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, use offer code riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. That's offer code riddle rid dle for 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Zorp, anything to add about Squarespace?

[JPC]

I can't hear you. I'm in a.

[Aaron Keefe]

Well, that's fun. That's a good audio joke because he's further away. That's Zorp, everybody. If you listen to the ad, you got to hear his voice. That's some. That's fun. All right, bye.

[JPC]

This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey, everybody, it's JPC and Adol. Go ahead and say hello. Adol.

[Adol Refai]

Give it a.

[JPC]

Give it a. Give it a classic. Classic you. And I'm also here, as always, with Aaron. Aaron, what's up? Too true, Aaron. Yeah, too true. And of course, it wouldn't be the show without our fourth host, little Janet Varney. Janet, say hello. Wish I was in this, Janet. You are. You are in this. We're all here together and we're all here together, all three friends, plus JPC, to talk about BetterHelp. You know, mental health awareness is growing, but there's still progress to be made. 26% of Americans who participated in a recent survey say that they have avoided seeking mental health support due to fear of judgment. Well, BetterHelp has over 10 years of experience matching people with the right therapists from their diverse network of more than 30,000 licensed therapists with a wide range of specialties. BetterHelp is fully online, making therapy affordable and convenient, serving over 5 million people worldwide. You can easily switch therapists anytime at no extra cost. Aaron, that sounds pretty good, right?

[Aaron Keefe]

I've peed on a waiter before.

[JPC]

Okay, Aaron, that doesn't really apply to. To what's. To what's going on here. I mean, Adel, can you. Can you back me up? I mean, am I going crazy? Gibbity, gibbity, Gibbity, Adelaide. Come on, man. I mean, say anything else. Say anything but that.

[Adol Refai]

Gibbity, gibbidi, gibbidy.

[JPC]

Okay, well, guess I'll just do the whole. Better help add myself if you guys aren't gonna. Oh, Aaron, bless you. Oh, okay. Having a little strong reaction to that. Well, you know, I've benefited from therapy. Obviously my friends can tell who are here with me right now that I am, you know, kind of like the poster child for what you can do with your life once you've kind of talked it through with some.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm the butt fairy, and I'm here to collect all of the fat you got in your butt, Aaron.

[JPC]

We can't talk about that on a BetterHelp ad. Anyway, this is mental health awareness month, so let's encourage everyone to take care of their wellbeing and break the stigma. That world is better when people are healthy and happy and we're all better with help. So visit betterhelp.comriddle to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp h lp.comriddle give it a. Give it a. Give it a. I mean, can you. Can you say. Can you say anything else? Okay, the first thing was better. All right. Yeah, we. We really have to get into riddles. We've only done two so far, so we have to get at least two more.

[Aaron Keefe]

I have a reputation for never doing riddles. But look. Look at JPC as old man puzzles.

[JPC]

You guys aren't answering them.

[Aaron Keefe]

Because we don't know the answers.

[JPC]

They get that last one, like, lightning quick. Okay. Four long ground standers, four short down hangers, two crookers, two lookabouts, one whiskabout and a bellow box.

[Adol Refai]

This is the cast of nueces, Aaron.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, it really does.

[Adol Refai]

Three lookabouts, two down hangers, a roustabout.

[JPC]

This is like. I feel like a, I feel like we may have done this one. My cards may have been shuffled incorrectly, But B, this is just like. What if you describe a normal thing with nonsense words? I think that that's what this riddle is.

[Adol Refai]

Well, that's what Dr. Seuss made a living out of.

[JPC]

Mm.

[Adol Refai]

Can you read it one more time?

[JPC]

Isn't it funny that making a living and making a killing are the same thing? Wow. Hmm.

[Aaron Keefe]

Can you read it again?

[JPC]

Words. Four long ground standers. What do we think those are?

[Adol Refai]

Pillars? Columns.

[JPC]

Legs, Aaron. Four short down hangers.

[Adol Refai]

Balls. Penis.

[JPC]

Yeah, I would think balls and penis for down hangers. Two crookers.

[Adol Refai]

Arms. No necks.

[Aaron Keefe]

What's a dude that has four legs? A table giraffe.

[JPC]

Two look abouts. What do we think? Look abouts are? Eyes, right? Yeah. One whiskabout and a bellow box.

[Adol Refai]

Throat and whiskers.

[Aaron Keefe]

A lion.

[Adol Refai]

It's a lion.

[JPC]

It's not a lion.

[Aaron Keefe]

Is it an animal?

[JPC]

It is an animal. And I think, honestly, it's not a dog. I think four short down hangers is gonna be the thing that actually really helps. It's a cow.

[Adol Refai]

It's an udders.

[JPC]

Those are the udders. Two crookers what are the two crookers?

[Aaron Keefe]

I don't know.

[Adol Refai]

Ears, Ears. Maybe two crackers.

[JPC]

I do want to see a scene. Adol, you are. Wow. You know what? Fuck it. Adol, you also are working at a pet store. We're doing two pet store scenes back to back. Oh, my God. You're working in a pet store. Aaron, you're coming into the pet store because you're interested in purchasing a new pet. And Adol, you are using a lot of, like, fanciful terms for the things that are just like ostensibly normal pets.

[Adol Refai]

Hey, Claire, Good to see you again.

[Aaron Keefe]

Hi. Sorry, back in here again. Last one died.

[Adol Refai]

Couple years.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, last one died looking for a new pet to fill the hole in my heart, dear.

[Adol Refai]

Sorry to hear. Well, we have some new options. We have some sort of exotic. Some exotic creatures who found their way into the store. Hush, hush.

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay. Can't wait to see. Can't wait to see.

[Adol Refai]

Okay, so over here we have a scroungy rug. This is sort of a scroungy rug.

[Aaron Keefe]

Looks like a cat.

[Adol Refai]

That's what I said, scroungy rug.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, is that its name?

[Adol Refai]

No, that's. That's how we're selling it. If you look at the sign there, it says scroungy rugs. $99.

[Aaron Keefe]

Huh? Okay. I mean, you are an exotic pet store owner.

[Adol Refai]

Mm.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, I bought a panther last time I came in here and now the panther's dead.

[Adol Refai]

Panther. I'm not sure what that is.

[Aaron Keefe]

Do you just not have any exotic animals in today? Because this is just like a typical house cat.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, a jump. You bought a jump sack.

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay. Is that like the scientific term? Am I missing something? Show me something else.

[Adol Refai]

It's a big jump sack. Okay, sure. Over here we have a bite rope. We have some bite ropes.

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay, that is a snake.

[Adol Refai]

No, they're bite ropes.

[Aaron Keefe]

It was just a really typical, like the kind of snake a 12 year old would get. This is not an exotic snake. This is not a poisonous snake.

[Adol Refai]

12 year olds might get nerds ropes, but these are bite ropes.

[Aaron Keefe]

Hey, man, it's okay if you don't have any exotic animals and today. I can come back later in the week or next week or something.

[Adol Refai]

Wait, I got something for you. How about Tank Pinch?

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay. This is your son?

[Adol Refai]

Well, that's his name. His name is Tank Pinch.

[Aaron Keefe]

I think there's enough air in there. He's sort of banging on the glass. Are you okay?

[Adol Refai]

No. He does that when there's new people. Helps the only word he knows.

[JPC]

So my dad had an accident.

[Aaron Keefe]

He lost all his.

[JPC]

He lost all his words. He crossed a witch.

[Aaron Keefe]

He crossed a witch. Okay, okay. I thought he just ran out of exotic animals and was trying to pull a fast one on me.

[JPC]

The witch is his supplier.

[Adol Refai]

Okay. I stepped on the foot of a mage. I wouldn't say I cried.

[Aaron Keefe]

Crossed a witch scene.

[JPC]

It was the witch's husband.

[Adol Refai]

Can you imagine? A witch and a mage married. Do witches have husbands?

[JPC]

Do witches have husbands?

[Adol Refai]

Oh, children's book.

[JPC]

I wish there were still Yahoo answers, because do witches have husbands? Would be the only place that you could go to get an answer to that. Oh, thank God.

[Adol Refai]

I do want to see a seed. Just very quickly. Jbc, you're a witch. You're speed dating. Aaron, you're going to be the people opposite the witch on the speed dunk.

[JPC]

By the way, one of my top 10 favorite things is when we call for a scene that requires multiple people, and we're just like Erin. You get to be all.

[Aaron Keefe]

I love it.

[JPC]

So funny. Okay.

[Aaron Keefe]

How are you doing?

[JPC]

I'm great. My name is Agatha. Yes, I've heard it before. Obviously, the show, kind of. Anyway, what do you do for work?

[Aaron Keefe]

I feel like I'm having the same conversation over and over again. It's crazy.

[JPC]

Well, it wasn't me. I didn't. I didn't put a perpetual Groundhog Day spell on you. I'm a witch, so.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah. What?

[JPC]

I. Oh, I. No, I'm sorry. I was making, like, a joke, but I. I didn't put a.

[Aaron Keefe]

Did you, though?

[JPC]

Ding.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm gonna try killing myself to see if that gets me out of the loop.

[JPC]

Don't. Hey, don't. Hey, don't.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm gonna try to see if that gets me out of the loop. Hi.

[JPC]

The energy that guy's going to the next date with is awful. Hi, I'm Agatha. I am a witch. Yeah, just like the show. Yeah. I'm actually new in town, and I'm just. I'm really enjoying meeting people.

[Aaron Keefe]

I feel like I have deja vu right now. I feel like I'm having the same thing over and over again.

[JPC]

It's speed dating. Standing up at the table. It's fucking speed dating.

[Aaron Keefe]

She's a witch. Hi. How are you?

[JPC]

Hey. I'm good. Does it matter what my name is? What's like a fun Agatha?

[Aaron Keefe]

I can see your name tag like the show. Like a witch. I feel like I've lived this moment before. Don't you feel that way?

[JPC]

Oh, okay.

[Aaron Keefe]

Did you put a curse on me?

[JPC]

I did curse. Greg. He's a pervert, okay? He's going to try to take pictures of your feet.

[Adol Refai]

Everyone falls down the road.

[Aaron Keefe]

You can't make me a foot pervert without me calling seed before you can do that to me, idiot.

[Adol Refai]

You can't make me a foot pervert because I already am one.

[JPC]

You can't make me something. I was bored as. Okay, here we go. Did we do the. Yeah, we did do the last one. We did do the last one. It was cow. We all got it. We're really proud of ourselves. A whole lot of.

[Adol Refai]

I was just gonna say, you know, somewhat recently we were talking about, like perfect bits in movies. I just wanted to say in Monty Python and the Holy Grail, the. She's a witch. She turned me into a newt. And then the guy goes, a newt? And he goes, I got better. I mean, that's one of the all time greats.

[JPC]

Yeah, Fun joke.

[Aaron Keefe]

I also love in Princess Bride when she goes, I'm not a witch. I'm your wife. I'm not a witch, I'm your wife.

[JPC]

Compladink company A whole lot of holes, a whole lot of knots. Toss me in, pull me out, see what you got.

[Aaron Keefe]

A net.

[Adol Refai]

Garlic bread.

[Aaron Keefe]

A net, A net, a net, a net.

[JPC]

You got it. You got it.

[Aaron Keefe]

It was. You guys are fish. You are clearly caught in a net and you're sort of like trying to make a plan.

[JPC]

Don't panic. Don't panic. I heard the panicking. Just makes it worse.

[Adol Refai]

Okay, okay, okay, okay. What do we do? What do we do? What do we do? What do we do?

[JPC]

So a lot of times, fishermen, bastards, they throw the net down. They throw the net down, but they don't pull it up immediately. So we're not, like, fucked yet. We probably still. We still have some time. So let's just think of it like we have time to work out a plan. Panic is the mind killer. Let's focus in on this. Okay?

[Adol Refai]

Okay. Okay. Let's all go around and let's say what type of fish we are and maybe what skills we have.

[JPC]

Yes. If anyone has a specialty. Okay, okay. For instance, I'm Sean. I am a puffer fish, so I can puff my whole body out. That could help maybe shift some locations.

[Adol Refai]

Hi, Sean.

[JPC]

Hello.

[Adol Refai]

Okay. My name is Tommy. I am a fatty tuna. I'm delicious.

[JPC]

Okay. Okay. Let's try to. Let's try to stay focused on what the thing is. But there are no bad ideas in brainstorming.

[Adol Refai]

No bad ideas. No bad ideas. Any other fish?

[Aaron Keefe]

My name is Kelly. I Am a rat, and I am very scared. I'm very rat.

[Adol Refai]

I'm a rat fish.

[Aaron Keefe]

No, no, I'm a rat.

[JPC]

That's a rat. So if you are not a fish, let's not have you go when the fish are going.

[Aaron Keefe]

I know, but I feel like I'm sort of part of this.

[JPC]

I got trapped in here, and my name is Pierre. I am a salt fish. Oh, wait. I am free. What am I?

[Adol Refai]

Oh, he cut. He got right through it.

[JPC]

Ah, damn. Okay, well, he could have helped the rest of us, but. Fucking swordfish.

[Adol Refai]

My name is Todd. I'm a narwhal, and I'm gonna spear Pierre. Oh, narwhal just killed Pierre.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, okay. We're just murdering each other again. I'm Kelly. I'm a rat.

[Adol Refai]

A rat fish.

[Aaron Keefe]

No, just a rat.

[JPC]

Oh, like you aren't good with secrets.

[Aaron Keefe]

That is true, but that's not relevant to what I'm trying to communicate.

[Adol Refai]

Tell us 1. Tell us 1. Tell us one.

[Aaron Keefe]

Did you know.

[JPC]

I am Bruce. I am a sharding. I'm sharding. Sorry, everybody.

[Aaron Keefe]

Bruce is a shark.

[JPC]

Come on. Hey, that guy's a rat.

[Adol Refai]

I'm a sharding. The Italian. The only way to end an Italian meal.

[JPC]

Hey, I'm a shardard.

[Adol Refai]

Affogato. I'm a sharding.

[JPC]

That's a compliment.

[Aaron Keefe]

I haven't locked into any of the scenes very well today. I feel like I'm sort of, like, skipping over the scenes, and I'm not in the scenes. Does that make sense?

[Adol Refai]

Aaron, you're doing.

[Aaron Keefe]

You guys teach improv. Give me something like, give me a scene. Set up a new scene for me, and then also give me an intention of how to really be in it.

[Adol Refai]

Okay. I want to see a scene. Aaron, you're an improv teacher, and you're talking to JPC as if he's you.

[JPC]

Great.

[Adol Refai]

Is this what you wanted?

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah. Hey, can I talk to you for a second?

[JPC]

Yeah. Sorry. Yeah. I feel like I'm, Like I'm in my head and I'm not. I'm not, like, present in them. Is that what you're gonna say? I don't. I'm sorry. I'm not giving you the notion you.

[Aaron Keefe]

Can'T be wearing leggings to every show and your mascara is, like, running down your face. Like, I just feel like it looks like you're sort of forced to be. It looks. You show up to shows looking like someone woke you. You up from a deep, deep nap.

[JPC]

Okay.

[Aaron Keefe]

Which is fine.

[JPC]

Yeah, it Just feels like. Because, like, none of the guys on the team are getting, like, notes like this, but, like, all my notes are really funny. Well, yeah. I mean, they're really funny. I know. I think. I feel like we're all kind of really funny, but I feel like all my notes are, like, kind of about how, like, I cry too much in scenes and, like.

[Aaron Keefe]

Right.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Adol Refai]

Hey. Hey. Sorry. Sorry, teacher. Sorry, teacher. Hey, babe, I'm going to wait downstairs for you. Here's a water. Just let me know when you're done. I'm Kimbo Slice, by the way. Hi. I'm dating Aaron.

[JPC]

So it's. Yeah. So he's not. We're not. It's not. He's not, but we're not.

[Aaron Keefe]

You're kicked off the team for what? You know.

[JPC]

See, it's still fun that Kimbo Slice comes to your shows, Aaron.

[Aaron Keefe]

I guess so. Yeah. I'd say it's more of a distraction. People really sort of only care about that.

[JPC]

Sure. Hey, there's a ghost here.

[Aaron Keefe]

It's always really complicated when two people are dating who do the same thing. Because what if someone gets more successful than the other? But we're making it work, Aaron.

[JPC]

Trying to get a hint as to who Kimbo Slice is, and we're not going to help you, Aaron.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yes, you will, Aaron.

[Adol Refai]

Would you do a movie called Ghost Slice? That's you dating Kimbo Slice's ghost.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah. And the plot would go a little something like.

[JPC]

Aaron, we're not going to help you.

[Aaron Keefe]

Why can't you help me?

[JPC]

Kimble Slices. We can. It's not that we can't.

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay, well, then you guys will be the jerks that the joke is the woman on the show doesn't know something.

[JPC]

It's not that we can't.

[Aaron Keefe]

Throwing around my weight for no reason. I know that name. And that sounds familiar. He's a musician.

[JPC]

Yes, Aaron.

[Adol Refai]

Got it in one. Aaron. Do you know any of his. Can you name a single Kimbo Slice song?

[JPC]

No. What adoles do we.

[Aaron Keefe]

Can you name a single shirt? What are you guys I went on dates with in 2016? Fucking what?

[Adol Refai]

Oh, you're wearing a Metallica shirt. Name 10 albums.

[JPC]

Dakota Zappa. That's actually hard for Erin because she can't name a single song anyway. Cause every song that she likes is like. She, like, doesn't know.

[Adol Refai]

Wow.

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay. We're all sort of roasting Aaron today. Okay. Okay. That means she's doing well and you're trying to bring her down.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah, 100%.

[JPC]

Hey, Aaron. Kind of like not unlike what they kind of did to Kimbo Slice. Wow. You know what I'm saying?

[Adol Refai]

One to one.

[JPC]

One to one.

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay. Kimbo Slice is actually not a musician.

[JPC]

That's why I said what Adol's doing is meaner. Because I would never say, yeah, he's a musician. What's one of his songs?

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay, I, I. Okay. He's not a musician.

[JPC]

How do you know that?

[Aaron Keefe]

I don't.

[JPC]

How do you know what? How do you know that?

[Adol Refai]

No, I saw my baron use Google. You got a rap about Kimbo Slice?

[Aaron Keefe]

Kimbo Slice seems really nice. He's a bare knuckle boxer.

[JPC]

Wrong.

[Aaron Keefe]

No, he's done mixed martial artist, professional boxer and actor. He was born in 1974. Oh. He died when he was only 42 years old. He weighed 234 pounds.

[Adol Refai]

Wait a minute. This isn't rapping.

[Aaron Keefe]

He's got three kids. What? Sorry.

[JPC]

Don't talk about how somebody.

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay, I do remember.

[JPC]

They have three kids.

[Adol Refai]

That's so funny. I love that. Rapping is. He was born in 1984 in St. Paul, Minnesota. He weighs 250. He has four kids.

[JPC]

What would you do if you bought the new Kendrick Lamar album and it was just him reading Wikipedia? Every song was just like a Wikipedia entry.

[Aaron Keefe]

Well, then he would win another Grammy.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah, if it's kda, I'm buying it.

[JPC]

It's just the song is called Spain and it's about the country of Spain, just like their exports of their imports. And then in the middle he's like, Drake's a pedophile.

[Aaron Keefe]

That's so funny.

[Adol Refai]

The rain in Spain falls mostly on Drake.

[JPC]

All right. I bring you music if music you can read. I bring you a number if toes and fingers you can count. I bring you the result of the match. Whoa.

[Adol Refai]

I bring you music if you can read.

[JPC]

Aaron, it's a score. Aaron, you got it. You scored.

[Aaron Keefe]

Aaron, you scored.

[Adol Refai]

Jesus. A genius.

[Aaron Keefe]

So I know it seems like the lady one is the dumb one on the show, but that's not always true. Sometimes it's true. Not all.

[JPC]

We actually take turns being the dumb one.

[Aaron Keefe]

Moment to moment, moment to moment.

[JPC]

And sometimes here's a little peek behind the curtain. Sometimes we all get to be the dumb one.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, we all carry the ring.

[Adol Refai]

Sometimes I'm dumb. Samwise, it would have been hurt.

[Aaron Keefe]

That's why Samwise came to you. I know.

[JPC]

I'm coming with you.

[Aaron Keefe]

What?

[JPC]

Your Samwise is good. You have a good Samwise.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, thanks. It would have better the vocal tick in my house right now is Cassian Ander from Andor.

[JPC]

Oh, yeah. Do you think that you could get maybe the gas leak, like, checked? Like, is there a professional that could put it in?

[Aaron Keefe]

I kind of like it.

[JPC]

Address the vocal dick.

[Aaron Keefe]

All of my new imaginary friends are from the gas leak, so why would I. Why would I stop it?

[JPC]

This is Jeff. He's from the gas leak.

[Aaron Keefe]

This is Jeff. Oh, how do you know Aaron? Oh, I'm a gas leak hallucination of hers. How do you know Aaron?

[Adol Refai]

I'm a flying elephant.

[JPC]

I know Aaron from a dream she had.

[Adol Refai]

Aaron, can you say the line that you said is popular in your house right now?

[Aaron Keefe]

Cassian Ander.

[Adol Refai]

So you sound like Cassian Ander. I haven't watched Andor season two yet. I'm very excited. You sound exactly like the guy who I want to say is Australian. And he's in a lot of movies and stuff he plays. He's in Captain Marvel as, like, the head gremlin Scree guy or whatever.

[JPC]

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, God. What is that man's name?

[Aaron Keefe]

I don't know.

[Adol Refai]

You know what I'm talking about?

[JPC]

Yeah. Ben Mendels.

[Adol Refai]

Ben Mendelsohn. Thank you, Casey. Aaron, that was a dead on Ben Mendelsohn impression.

[Aaron Keefe]

That's not what I meant to do.

[Adol Refai]

Okay.

[JPC]

You were doing Mr. Skarsgard, right?

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, I was.

[JPC]

Yeah. Papa Skarsgard.

[Adol Refai]

Stellan.

[JPC]

Stellan, yeah.

[Aaron Keefe]

Stellan, was it?

[JPC]

Bendleton is also in that show, right?

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, he just showed me.

[JPC]

Because he's in Rogue One.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yes.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, yes, yes, yes.

[Aaron Keefe]

And Auntie Donna did impressions of him that were really funny. There's a clip of them that I watched yesterday. That's so funny that you bring up Ben Mendelsohn. I guess it's. You brought it up because we're talking about Andor. But they do a really great impression of him. I.

[JPC]

Well, yeah. Well, you did. You remember he was in Rogue One. I just rewatched Rogue One not too long ago. So I was like, he has to be bridging the gap there, you know, somewhere, because he's like the big bad from. From Rogue One. That's wild.

[Aaron Keefe]

You guys, before I forget, I'm so sorry. I. There. I don't have that many career goals left other than maybe meeting him up it. But I do.

[JPC]

He's been crushing it.

[Adol Refai]

Well, Aaron, you said you wanted to be on the COVID of Highlights magazine. I don't think they do, like, cover shoots.

[JPC]

Hello.

[Adol Refai]

I'm sorry. I'm just trying to.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, my God. What? I want to Wear lingerie on the COVID of Highlights magazine.

[JPC]

My only dream with how often you change your hair. You could fucking be Highlights magazine.

[Aaron Keefe]

Wow. You guys had to learn how to do my own hair. I spent hours and hours researching how to dye your own hair blonde. And I did it last week.

[JPC]

Oh, because so many places have refused you service.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yes. Because I go too often. No. Because I can't. You can't. In this economy. Can't afford to be blonde anymore. So.

[JPC]

Wow. Look at what they took from us. The blonde.

[Aaron Keefe]

That's not what I mean.

[JPC]

Is so high.

[Aaron Keefe]

But you guys. I love Auntie Donna and they have a show on YouTube where it's basically party quirks but impossible. And they give each other the most impossible prompts to do. And I. I don't know who listens who might know them. I will fly to Australia on my own dime. I want to go and be on that show so bad.

[JPC]

We could probably get them on our show. They do podcasts.

[Aaron Keefe]

I would love that. And then I can go. I'm literally. That is. Would be a dream of mine to go on that.

[JPC]

Aaron, would you mind if I circle back to something?

[Aaron Keefe]

Of course.

[JPC]

Erin's so blonde that she heard inflation rates were high and she let all the air out of her tires.

[Adol Refai]

Aaron. Is that true?

[JPC]

Aaron, is that true? This is something I heard. So I just want to verify. Is it true?

[Aaron Keefe]

Yes.

[JPC]

Yes. Good.

[Adol Refai]

Okay. Aaron. I just sent a text.

[Aaron Keefe]

Sure.

[Adol Refai]

Again. Auntie Donna's been on Magic Tabard. I have booked for us next week. Uncle Dana.

[Aaron Keefe]

Now that's not what I wanted. I want Aunt. Uncle Dunna.

[Adol Refai]

Well, Aaron would you know.

[JPC]

Aaron Figures. Can't be choosers.

[Adol Refai]

Uncle Donna.

[JPC]

Uncle Donna.

[Adol Refai]

Three hamsters in tuxedos.

[JPC]

Aaron. The best part though.

[Aaron Keefe]

Aren't we three hamsters in tuxedos? Isn't that a little redundant?

[JPC]

Auntie Dunn. Say it again. Et al.

[Adol Refai]

Uncle Dunna.

[JPC]

Uncle dunna. Sounds also just like Fat Bastard. Now isn't that fun?

[Adol Refai]

Uncle Dunna. Get in my mouth.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm asking you guys a question. I need you to be honest with me. Have we done a single riddle this episode? No. Okay. Great.

[JPC]

Do you want to do a single one?

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm putting it out into the. Yes. I'm putting it out to the universe that I want to go on that show. And I know I'm not qualified in any sort of way and I live in a different continent, but please.

[JPC]

Aaron's so blonde. She heard that there was a single riddle and she asked what its sign was.

[Adol Refai]

Whoa. Aaron. Is this true?

[Aaron Keefe]

That's funny.

[Adol Refai]

Date. A riddle.

[JPC]

But Aaron. So this is something I heard and I'm not really. I'm truly not doing this to be mean. This is something I heard. I just want to verify if it's true.

[Aaron Keefe]

It is true. The riddle is an Aries. We're compatible.

[JPC]

All right, here we go. Silver are my teeth and sharp. Straight my jaw and long. Use me carefully, my friend. My double bite is strong.

[Adol Refai]

Bear trap.

[Aaron Keefe]

Tongs. Bear trap.

[JPC]

It's not tongs. It's not a bear trap. That's a really great bear trap. Is the closest. Tongs and bear trap are both pretty close. They're around the same thing. Mousetrap is close as well.

[Aaron Keefe]

But is it a trap of some kind?

[JPC]

It's not a trap. It's a trap. Admiral Ackbar.

[Adol Refai]

Admiral Snack Bar.

[JPC]

Admiral Snack Bar.

[Adol Refai]

Cause he's cute.

[JPC]

Cause he's cute. Because he's a snack.

[Adol Refai]

It's a snack. Thanks. Admiral Snack Bar.

[JPC]

Why did they not have that as a tie in for the episode three re release?

[Adol Refai]

Well, we'll have to see if Admiral Snack Bar makes an appearance in the upcoming Disney Twins Patreon.

[JPC]

Furiously rating down Admiral Snack Bar. And like setting a whole 50 minute episode up. It's not that. Silver are my teeth and sharp. Straight my jaw and long. Use me carefully, my friend. My double bite is strong.

[Adol Refai]

Can opener.

[JPC]

No, double bite. Double bite. Also crucial here. And like a can opener. This is probably something that you would find in your house.

[Adol Refai]

Stapler.

[JPC]

Stapler.

[Adol Refai]

It's a stapler.

[JPC]

It's a stapler. It's a stapler.

[Adol Refai]

Can I just say, when I was in grade school, everyone being like, I'm stapler. I'm gonna fuck your mom. Ah, I hated that.

[JPC]

I hated it.

[Adol Refai]

I hated American Pie and stapler.

[Aaron Keefe]

I know my brain is poisoned from all the blonde dye, but I did understand that reference well.

[Adol Refai]

Aaron, it's also poisoned from the gas leak.

[Aaron Keefe]

Right? And me electrocuting myself by accident when I was in the third or fourth.

[JPC]

Grade, when you brought a pie to the scene with the aquarium, I wanted to come in and say, maybe we tell your mother we ate the pie and I didn't because I'm a good partner.

[Adol Refai]

Maybe we just tell your mother.

[Aaron Keefe]

Is that true?

[JPC]

No, can't be true. Hey, here's something that's true. Casey, can you play us a voicemail theme?

[Adol Refai]

I don't want to be answering lateral.

[JPC]

Blinking puzzies and Brady. I'll just answer a listen request mine. I'm tired of looking around. 5, 7, 4, 3, 5, 3, 1.

[Adol Refai]

Yep.

[JPC]

There's a one at the end. Two.

[Aaron Keefe]

I mean, just sorry as well.

[JPC]

This is number one. Fuck. Yes.

[Aaron Keefe]

I love it.

[Adol Refai]

Yes, I love it. And that was actually Gavin DeGraw.

[JPC]

That was Gavin DeGraw. That was Tom Lum, host of the let's Learn Everything podcast on Maximum Fun. Thank you so much, Tom.

[Aaron Keefe]

Thank you, Tom. That was awesome.

[Adol Refai]

That fucking rule.

[JPC]

Tom also sent the lyrics, and the lyric for that line is, I'm tired of looking around. Who's a was a loses the lyrics. Because no one remembers this line.

[Adol Refai]

That was very errancoated.

[JPC]

Yeah. Very errand coded to lose it in that cover of Gavin De Graw's I Don't Want to Be.

[Aaron Keefe]

There's a gas leak in my house. What's your excuse?

[JPC]

Is this your psa, Eric?

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, that sounds like there's a gas leak in my house. Do you know where your children are? Do I have children?

[Adol Refai]

A drag queen would say at the end of, like, a Runway walk of something, like, I have a gas leak in my house. What's your excuse? And then turn and walk back.

[Aaron Keefe]

That's my Real Housewives intro. I have a gas thing in my house. What's your excuse?

[JPC]

If you want to get a voicemail theme feature on the show, make it 30 seconds or less. Send it as a wav file to hrrpodcastmail.com. casey, play us a voicemail. Hey, Clue Crew. I was wondering if you have a song that you always hear the lyrics.

[Aaron Keefe]

To incorrectly in your head.

[JPC]

My example for this is the Les Mis song at the end of the Day, for some reason, in my head.

[Aaron Keefe]

The lyrics are always, when the hair.

[Adol Refai]

On your back doesn't keep up the chill.

[JPC]

Even though I know it's when the.

[Adol Refai]

Shirt on your back doesn't keep up the chill.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Aaron Keefe]

Just curious.

[JPC]

Hope you're all doing well. Okay, have a good one. Bye.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, my God. I've been saying, when the hair on your back doesn't keep out the chill. No, I am not kidding.

[JPC]

Really? Yeah. You have the same one.

[Adol Refai]

Was that you, Aaron?

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay, yeah. Well, first of all, we already established that that is my entire life is. I can get the vibe of a song, but I do not know the lyrics.

[JPC]

Yeah, yeah, there's a lot. And this is also really fun because it was that voicemail theme with this voicemail, which was totally accidental, but it was one where you lose the lyrics, which is cool. But I have that too. I don't know the lyrics very well at all.

[Adol Refai]

I would say my biggest one is from the album Tak T A K K by Siguros. I always think that he's saying, let's go. And he's really going, just a classic cigar joke.

[Aaron Keefe]

Since I watched Cats, I've been on an Andrew Lloyd Weber kick. And so I was listening to Evita yesterday, and I realized for the first time in a new Argentina, the lyrics are, this is crazy defeatist talk. And I thought it was mumbo jumbo. I was like, oh, this is crazy defeatist talk makes more sense than this is crazy to be this talk. Like, I had no idea.

[JPC]

This is insane. The first place my mind went to, there's a live song called I Alone. Do you guys know this live song?

[Adol Refai]

I alone love you.

[JPC]

Yeah, I alone love you. In my mind, he's always just going, I love. I'm like, I completely lose every lyric in that part. But here's the other thing is I also have the Aaron disease, where I don't remember the lyrics to songs. Yeah, sorry, Slow gas leak in my brain. But I don't know, maybe it is the fact that I've been doing improv for so long, but it's like, I don't even attempt to get the lyrics anymore. I just make my own up. Like, I do a lot of singing with my child, and I'm like, you're fucked. Because I don't know the words to the songs from Moana, even though we've listened to them a hundred times. But I do know my words.

[Aaron Keefe]

I've been to See if Diamonds.

[JPC]

But Aaron, I'm not doing the thing where I'm like, as a badge, as I. But I'm not doing, like, simlish for it. I'm just, like, making up words.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm like, give me an example.

[JPC]

Sing something from I'm alone with my Thoughts and it turns. It disturbs me But I can't post till I'm a ghost. And I'll just do. It'll be like, nonsense. And Mariah will be like, what are you doing? I'm like, I'm not gonna learn the fucking lyrics. Moana knows the lyrics. I shouldn't have to know it.

[Aaron Keefe]

That's awesome.

[Adol Refai]

I'll do that with black crows. With that, I'll start to sing it, and then I'll realize I don't know the words. So I'm like, hey, little thing lemon latcha can Cause the mama nama nama and the mama da mess around yeah, I always come around, mess it down immediately deflate. Because I'm like, oh, no, I'm in the Thick of it. I'm on the slide and I forgot where the bottom is.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm on the slide and I forgot where the bottom is. That's so funny.

[Adol Refai]

Little thing Lemon Latcha can.

[Aaron Keefe]

Mess around.

[JPC]

Signs up karaoke and is like, oh, no, wait, there's a rap verse in this song. I forgot there was a rap verse. Just try your best. Yeah. Thank you so much for that question. Do we have anything, Aaron to plug?

[Aaron Keefe]

Anything you gotta plug, just go and come see us on tour. We would love to see you come.

[JPC]

See us on tour. And I know what you're thinking. There's a bunch of shows in a bunch of different cities. Is it going to be the same show in each city?

[Aaron Keefe]

Yes, we're gonna try.

[JPC]

We change keywords so it's worth it to follow us and see all of the shows that you can just to get the keyword change.

[Aaron Keefe]

Brilliant.

[Adol Refai]

Hell yeah.

[JPC]

So brilliant. Adult plug.

[Adol Refai]

Check out Hulu from the Magic Tavern. Now in our 10th season. JPC. Anything to plug or promote or a review to read.

[JPC]

I want to read a review. This one's coming in from Blue Wings 23. Bluewings 23 says life isn't real. On my way to work on Wednesday morning, I was trying to think of what cards my friends had in high school. Dodge Durang or Dodge Dugaru Dungaree. No. Whatever. I'll look it up later. I get to work, turn on the podcast, and 10 to 15 minutes in ADOL mumbles Dodge Durango. What? How life isn't real. But this podcast is good.

[Adol Refai]

Wow.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah. We are a glitch in the matrix.

[JPC]

This is the dream inside the brain of a dying child. St. Elsewhere.

[Aaron Keefe]

This is a death rattle.

[Adol Refai]

This is the last gasp of a velociraptor who's being eaten by a pack of wolves.

[JPC]

Now someone is. Someone's listening to this podcast. Like 10 minutes ago, I was thinking about a death rattle. St. Elsewhere and a velociraptor. And now they said it.

[Aaron Keefe]

We live outside the laws of space and time.

[Adol Refai]

There should be more dinosaurs and soap.

[JPC]

Operas to do your admission. You know what your mission is?

[Aaron Keefe]

Jupiter. I can get us out of here.

[JPC]

Created by Adol Refai, starring Aaron Keenan and John Patrick Collins. Casey Tony did the editing and Marty Perrin did the music Logo created by Emily Cardamus and Emily Naporus.

[Adol Refai]

You said we sound choppy.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, yeah. I just. You guys were coming in and out of me Internet wise chopping.

[JPC]

God damn it. God damn it, Aaron. Casey, clip it. Casey, clip that.

[Aaron Keefe]

Wait, what? I missed it.

[JPC]

Okay. Hey, don't worry, Aaron. You'll hear it on the soundboard very soon. I'm actually gonna pull that one. Aaron. It's not worth worrying about at all. In case you heard it right.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah, she said of instead of four.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Adol Refai]

So you guys are coming in and out of me.

[JPC]

Aaron, you said you guys are coming in and out of me.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, no. I let it go.

[Aaron Keefe]

I let it go. I mumbled because I did not say it.

[Adol Refai]

Aaron, I'm sorry.

[Aaron Keefe]

Either way, I'm pregnant and you're the father. I say, pointing at all of you.

[Adol Refai]

We'll both raise it.

[JPC]

Hey there continentals and 48s. If you like that, you are going to love this week's Patreon we return to the State series and you'll have to listen to find out which state we pick. You can listen to [e-mail] heyriddlevrittle by joining the clue crew for $5 a month or start your 7 day free trial or the review crew for $8 a month plus you get those ad free episodes. See you there.

[Adol Refai]

That was a headgum podcast.