#362: I Hit A Shrek

Summary

Hey Riddle Riddle – Episode #362: I Hit A Shrek

Release Date: June 25, 2025

---

Introduction

In episode #362 of Hey Riddle Riddle, hosted by Adal Rifai, Erin Keif, and John Patrick Coan, the trio delves into a humorous and surreal recounting of a peculiar incident that occurred during their trip to Scotland. The episode blends storytelling with improvisational comedy, riddles, and engaging banter, staying true to the podcast's unique blend of puzzles and humor.

---

The Scottish Mishap: Hitting a Shrek [04:35 – 05:53]

The episode kicks off with John Patrick Coan (JPC) narrating a bizarre incident from their recent trip to Scotland:

JPC [04:35]: "We hit a Shrek with our cars."

The term "Shrek" here is a playful nod to the beloved ogre from the animated films but is reimagined as a whimsical creature native to the Highlands and Isle of Skye. Trey Farrow (Aaron) and Adol Rifai (Adol) join in sharing their reactions:

Aaron [04:51]: "Donald, you did the right thing. Right. You called the government, let them know you had a Shrek."

Adol humorously questions the aftermath of the collision, pondering the responsibilities that come with "Shrek insurance":

Adol [05:14]: "It doesn't protect the Shrek. So, if the family finds out and they try to get reimbursement, it's just like."

JPC adds a twist by describing the unconventional insurance claim:

JPC [05:18]: "I sawed its head off... now we have a Shrek hanging above our fireplace."

The trio's lighthearted take on the situation sets the tone for the episode, blending absurdity with sharp wit.

---

Reflections on Shrek and Related Media [05:53 – 12:21]

The conversation shifts to dissecting the portrayal and voice of Shrek, leading to a spirited debate about Mike Myers' various roles:

Adol [08:09]: "I thought Shrek's was like. His real voice was like. Yeah, baby. Groovy, shagadelic, baby Shrek."

They reminisce about "Shrek 2," with Aaron lauding it as his favorite installment:

Aaron [09:54]: "It's the best one. It's so good."

JPC muses about the film's impact and potential sequels:

JPC [12:21]: "If they could make a sequel to Brave, but with Mel Gibson, I think that would be. I think we all win."

The discussion seamlessly transitions into broader topics like character voice impressions and the evolution of animated films, showcasing their deep engagement with pop culture.

---

Planning Future Events and Shows [12:32 – 16:15]

As the episode progresses, the hosts discuss upcoming projects and events. Aaron reveals plans to perform improv in Chicago and promote his show "Quality Time":

Aaron [60:10]: "I'm going to be there for a little while. ... I'm hosting a show called Quality Time that you can follow on Instagram."

Adol updates listeners on tour dates, emphasizing shows in Chicago, Minneapolis/St. Paul, Portland, and Seattle, while encouraging listeners to join their livestream sessions.

---

Riddle Sessions and Improv [16:15 – 43:28]

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to their signature riddle-solving segments intertwined with improvisational sketches. One notable riddle posed by JPC:

JPC [16:43]: "I cannot be seen. I cannot be touched. You won't hear me and you can't feel me, but I can improve your day. What am I?"

The team engages in playful attempts to solve the riddle, leading to improvisational scenes that amplify the humor and creativity of the podcast.

Another complex riddle challenges the hosts:

JPC [36:48]: "I can be high or low. I can run fast or slow. I am needed both by the President and the kid down the street. What am I?"

Despite initial missteps, Adol successfully guesses the answer:

Adol [43:28]: "Microwave particles."

Their collaborative efforts not only entertain but also showcase their sharp wit and improvisational prowess.

---

Voicemails and Listener Interactions [55:00 – 59:20]

Integrating audience participation, the hosts address voicemails and listener submissions. A voicemail from Annie seeking career advice prompts a humorous yet thoughtful discussion:

JPC [56:19]: "Annie, thank you for your voicemail. This is a little tough because you don't give us any sort of resume or skill sets or special skills."

Their creative responses range from playful suggestions like "Prom Night Ghost" to more grounded advice, maintaining an engaging and interactive atmosphere.

---

Conclusion and Final Riddles [59:20 – 60:10]

The episode wraps up with an unresolved riddle, encouraging listeners to ponder and engage:

JPC [56:20]: "I can be high or low. I can run fast or slow. I am needed both by the President and the kid down the street. What am I?"

Though not immediately solved, the riddle leaves room for future episodes, enticing listeners to return for more puzzle-solving adventures.

---

Notable Quotes

1. JPC [04:35]: "We hit a Shrek with our cars."
2. Aaron [09:54]: "It's the best one. It's so good."
3. Adol [16:43]: "What am I?"
4. Adol [43:28]: "Microwave particles."
5. JPC [36:48]: "I can be high or low. I can run fast or slow. I am needed both by the President and the kid down the street. What am I?"

---

Key Takeaways

• Humorous Storytelling: The episode masterfully combines absurd scenarios with sharp humor, keeping listeners entertained.

• Engagement with Pop Culture: From "Shrek" to "Goodfellas" and "Mage School Bus," the hosts effortlessly weave in references that resonate with a broad audience.

• Interactive Riddles: Challenging riddles interspersed with improv sketches showcase the hosts' creativity and problem-solving skills.

• Community Involvement: Listener voicemails and interactive segments foster a sense of community and participation among fans.

---

Hey Riddle Riddle continues to deliver a blend of puzzles, humor, and engaging storytelling, making episode #362 a standout installment that both entertains and challenges its audience.

Transcript

[Aaron]

This is a headgun podcast.

[JPC]

Think advertising on TikTok isn't for your business.

[Adol]

Think again. We've generated over 100,000 leads, which has converted into over 40,000 sales for our pet insurance policies.

[JPC]

My name is Trey Farrow. I am the CEO of Spot Pet Insurance.

[Adol]

TikTok's smart AI powered automation takes the.

[JPC]

Guesswork out of targeting, bidding and optimizing creative. If I can advertise on TikTok, you can too.

[Adol]

Drive more leads and scale your business.

[JPC]

Today only on TikTok.

[Adol]

Head over to get started.TikTok.com TikTok ads the doctor was the mother. He stood on a block of ice. Both of them were goldfish. It was the cannon of an airplane. He stabbed him with an ice and the horse's name.

[JPC]

Right?

[Aaron]

Ah. Guys, this hot riddle class is way too hot. I don't even feel like I'm getting a good workout. I'm just feeling, like, sick.

[JPC]

Yeah, I definitely feel like it's working. My core. I wish these goats would get off of me. I didn't realize it was like a hot yoga and goat yoga class.

[Aaron]

Yeah. Gbc. What is this? There's goats.

[Adol]

Is the instructor touching you guys? I feel like he's only touching me. And it's not to correct. I feel like they're little spankings.

[JPC]

He's been very focused on you.

[Aaron]

Yeah. I haven't gotten spanked. Not even once.

[Adol]

Well, but it's all about, like, conceivably it's about my form, but usually I feel like they, like, touch your hip and like, move it this way. But it's just little spankings and then kind of like mutterings about my form.

[Aaron]

Gpc. Can I be honest with you? I'm surprised that you sort of piled on to our confusion because you're the one who brought us here. You're here every week.

[JPC]

Yeah. You got a living social about this or something?

[Adol]

No, it's an ice cream social. So usually I'm here like two hours from now. I think basically they have. We all showed up maybe way too early. I think it's like a different event two hours earlier.

[Aaron]

What the heck?

[JPC]

What the heck?

[Aaron]

We're in a hot row class with goats and we're getting spanked.

[Adol]

I'm getting spanked.

[Aaron]

Right. Sorry. Sorry.

[JPC]

Oh, I mean, I guess I should go clean. The goats are spanking me, but not the instructor.

[Adol]

Okay.

[Aaron]

Oh, and I'm not getting spanked at all.

[JPC]

You gotta try goat Spanx. You simply must.

[Adol]

Does your goat look too fat? Try goat Spanx.

[Aaron]

Okay, is anyone else paranoid that these clips are gonna get taken out of context? You know what?

[Adol]

Let's just.

[Aaron]

Let's just get outta here. Roll up your mat.

[Adol]

Oh, okay. Yeah.

[JPC]

What'd you say?

[Aaron]

We're just gonna sneak out of the class. No one's gonna notice that we're leaving.

[JPC]

Oh, okay. The goats want to come. Come on. Come on, guys.

[Aaron]

Come on.

[Adol]

Wait, that's the instructor? Who are you talking about?

[JPC]

Oh, no.

[Aaron]

Oh, now we really gotta go. Neat.

[JPC]

Neat.

[Aaron]

Neen run around and the goats chase us.

[JPC]

Yakety sexity yakety sexy yaketyakety sex.

[Adol]

Scrappy doo armor going down a hall. Scrappy doo armor going down the other hall.

[JPC]

Aaron goes in one door, comes out the other door. Jpc.

[Aaron]

My wig's off.

[JPC]

JPC and I go in one door. We come out the other door. I jump in JPC's arms, but then I look up and it's a ghost.

[Aaron]

We come out of another door. We're all wearing each other's clothes.

[JPC]

Aaron makes a big sandwich and then scrunches it down into a manageable sandwich.

[Aaron]

And we land back. Manageable sandwich into a recording studio.

[JPC]

You know, like, you can call it in for meetings. It does spreadsheets. It knows Excel.

[Adol]

I do want to go to a restaurant and ask them before I order. How manageable are your sandwiches?

[Aaron]

How coachable are they?

[JPC]

Is this sandwich manageable? Will it take notes?

[Adol]

Will this sandwich appreciate a learning moment or a teaching opportunity?

[JPC]

Is this like a Christian Bale sandwich or is it coachable?

[Adol]

Well, anyways, welcome to hey, Riddle Riddle. I'm jpc, that's Aaron, that's adol. It's a show, believe it or not, about riddles and about improv. And we do a flawless kind of introduction like this at the beginning of every episode just so people really understand what the show is all about.

[JPC]

In today's episode. Oh, please.

[Aaron]

Gonna say just so you know, the energy of why this feels the way it feels is we all sort of kind of sat in silence before the episode started and didn't really check in with each other. I haven't spoken to them in a couple. Adol. I haven't seen you in two weeks.

[Adol]

ADOL just went to Scotland.

[Aaron]

So that intro you just heard was me saying hello to Adol for the first time in two weeks.

[JPC]

Guys, Scotland, Beautiful time. Incredible time. One little hiccup. We rented a car. We are driving the Highlands, Isle of Skye, the most beautiful place I've seen on Earth. We hit a Shrek with our cars.

[Aaron]

Donald, you did the right thing. Right. You called the government, let them know you had a Shrek. Tell me you didn't hide the body and sort of try to cover it up.

[Adol]

Tell me you didn't take it and dump it in the equivalent of Central park and claim that a bike had hit it. Central Swap. Central Swamp. A bike had hit it. Tell me that you're not going to be running for president, amending a presidential campaign and settling for Secretary of Health and Human Services.

[JPC]

Absolutely not. What I did was what any human would do, which is I sawed its head off.

[Aaron]

Oh, at all.

[JPC]

And then me and my niece drove it down. I want to say to Cape Cod.

[Adol]

It's always Cape Cod. It's always Cape Cod with those.

[Aaron]

Put it on top of your car.

[JPC]

On top of my car. And now we have a Shrek hanging above our fireplace. Shrek.

[Adol]

But you. I mean, you're in Scotland. You're driving. It's the first time you've ever done it. You took the Shrek insurance, right?

[JPC]

We got the Shrek insurance.

[Adol]

So, okay, then you're covered.

[JPC]

Yeah, yeah. No harm, no foul. And I do think they are overpopulated. So I think there is, I think at once per year you can, I think, hunt up to two or three Shrek.

[Adol]

Well, you're lucky.

[Aaron]

Did you check in its pouch for a baby Shrek? Do you even check. You're supposed to check for the baby Shrek if you hit one with your car.

[Adol]

I don't think so.

[Aaron]

Oh, my God. That's why I think they're a protective species.

[Adol]

No, no, no, no. This is their season. June is the beginning of their season. So as long as you did it in June, then I think that you don' the thing about the Shrek insurance, though, Adol. And you'll have to look at this because it's like, it doesn't. It protects, like, your car, but it doesn't, like, protect the Shrek. So, like, if they. Yeah, if the family of the Shrek finds out and they try to get, like, reimbursement or something, you know, it's just like.

[Aaron]

And you looked around for its donkey, right?

[JPC]

I did see its donkey because you.

[Aaron]

Have to kill its donkey, too, if you kill the Shrek.

[JPC]

Well, here's what happened was as I was kind of looking around of like, what should I do? What should I do? I reached down, thought I was grabbing the Shrek's body, accidentally touched the donkey. And once you touch a donkey, the mother wants nothing to do with it.

[Adol]

Yeah.

[JPC]

So I did have to kill It. Aaron, you said check in its pouch. Is that a trick to try and get me to put my hand down Shrek's pants?

[Aaron]

Oh, as if you're not looking for any excuse. Okay, yeah, I gotta trick you to do that. I gotta dare you to do that.

[JPC]

I see a dead Trek and I'm like. I'm like, where's his identification reach down the front of his pants? And I'm like, I'm looking for a wallet. What?

[Adol]

You have to be careful if you kill a Shrek because you have to check for its donkey. I did the same thing, but where was I? Oh, man. I don't even remember where I was. But I was driving and I hit a Mulan and I had to check for its little dragon.

[JPC]

Fort Smushu.

[Adol]

Fort Smushu, that's right. Thank you.

[Aaron]

Started the bit without knowing its name. I love the idea of somebody going like, I can't handle this bit anymore. Fast forwarding eight minutes and we're still doing it.

[JPC]

But, yeah, so like Gilbert Shrek, but otherwise delightful.

[Aaron]

Lovely trip.

[JPC]

Lovely trip. Impenetrable accents, but lovely trip.

[Adol]

I hear they do it just to fuck with people. They talk like fucking crazy normal there, but they put on that shit just to fuck with tourists.

[JPC]

That sucks to hear.

[Adol]

Yeah. Yeah. You got got, man.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Aaron]

This is what Shrek's voice actually sounds like. Hello, I'm Shrek. I'm Shrek.

[JPC]

Oh, he sounds like, Please don't hit.

[Aaron]

Me with your car.

[JPC]

He sounds like the main Gremlin in Gremlins 2.

[Aaron]

Is that what the. Am I accidentally doing an impression of a Gremlins 2?

[JPC]

Erudite? The erudite gremlin in Gremlins 2.

[Aaron]

That makes me sad.

[Adol]

I thought Shrek's was like. His real voice was like. Yeah, baby. Groovy, shagadelic, baby Shrek.

[JPC]

Shrek, baby. Mike Myers has done a lot.

[Adol]

Yeah, he did the Love Guru. Do we all remember that?

[JPC]

We should do that for a review group.

[Aaron]

Wasn't he supposed to play Del Close in a movie?

[JPC]

Mm.

[Aaron]

I wonder what happened.

[Adol]

Oh, I bet. And this is like, me just guessing. I bet what happened is no one wanted to fucking see that movie.

[Aaron]

Oh, right.

[Adol]

Because even people who know who Del Close is don't want to see that movie. I don't want to see that movie. And I know who Del Close is.

[Aaron]

Yeah.

[Adol]

There are people right now googling Del Close, like, reading the first few lines and saying, I don't want to see that movie.

[Aaron]

He is the cult leader of improv.

[Adol]

People don't want to go see a herald. You think they want to see a movie about the guy who invented one? They'll thank you. No, thank you.

[Aaron]

What if they made the movie a Herald? That's what I would do.

[Adol]

All movies are a herald.

[JPC]

All episodes of Seinfeld are a herald. Now, would you guys believe that Mike Myers recently did a thing for Netflix called Did you Google? I just remember seeing a trailer for it. I did not use Google. I used my IMDb app. To be fair. It's called the Pentaverate. Came out in 2022. And I believe it's Mike Myers playing five different characters who are all the top of this sort of five person secret society or something.

[Aaron]

That did not cross my desk, but good for him.

[JPC]

I think we should review that.

[Adol]

I think Mike Myers is at his best when he's playing five different characters.

[Aaron]

Yeah, that's sort of his whole thing.

[JPC]

Yeah, he's sort of the Eddie Murphy of our time.

[Aaron]

I did watch that's funny Shrek2 yesterday, so it is top of mind.

[JPC]

Whoa. Aaron.

[Aaron]

Mm.

[JPC]

How's it hold up?

[Aaron]

It's the best one. It's so good.

[Adol]

Shrek 2 is the best one, right?

[Aaron]

It's so, so, so good.

[JPC]

Is that the one that ends and it's like Dance to the Music and it's all the little songs and the.

[Aaron]

No, that one ends with I need a hero.

[JPC]

Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes.

[Aaron]

Puss in Boots get introduced in that second one. It starts with Accidentally in Love. Sorry, what was that?

[Adol]

It actually kind of makes sense for Donkey.

[Aaron]

Fry the rest of the episode.

[Adol]

For Donkey to a dragon, because Donkey is Mushu and Mushu is Dragon. So it's like he's basically dragon.

[Aaron]

I didn't remember his name was mushu until like 10 seconds ago.

[Adol]

I don't even know who we're talking about when I say Mushu.

[JPC]

And. Well, jpc. Aaron, you're absolutely.

[Adol]

Do you think I'm going to get in trouble for saying I hit a mould? That could be bad.

[Aaron]

Yeah. Yeah.

[JPC]

I do want to say you can't.

[Adol]

Call her a moulad.

[JPC]

Aaron, I completely agree with you. JVC did not know the name jvc. I do want to commend you, though, for not attempting to guess the name because I think.

[Aaron]

Yeah, I wouldn't put that past it.

[JPC]

Yeah, I think Mushu is pretty rough. But also, I'm just glad you didn't take some wild swings. I'm guessing.

[Adol]

Well, hey, can I also say I've never seen Mulan, so the fact that I knew Mulan's name is also pretty ojpc.

[Aaron]

You will love Mulan.

[Adol]

I've never seen a lot of these movies and I do think that I love, like, Mulan. Moana. They're naming the movie after the character.

[JPC]

Mm.

[Adol]

I'll never know what the character in Brave's name is.

[Aaron]

Her name is Merida.

[Adol]

Meredith.

[Aaron]

Meredith.

[Adol]

Thank you, Erin. But I can't hear it.

[Aaron]

Merida. She's from Scotland and she was in a show that I was watching this week. The woman who does the voice. Not me.

[Adol]

Oh, the woman who does the voice. I thought you were watching a show. And the character from Brave popped up.

[JPC]

Law and Order suv. And the animated girl from Brave walks in.

[Aaron]

Yeah, she's stacking boxes onto a boat.

[JPC]

Getting asked about a murder who Framed Roger Rabbit situation.

[Adol]

The animated girl from Brave did a three episode arc on Friends where she dated Chandler.

[JPC]

I mean, that drags.

[Aaron]

That's wicked.

[JPC]

Dated Chandler, but fell in love with Joey. Slept with Joey. Yeah, of course we did listen to the Brave soundtrack while driving through the hills of Glencoe. And there was.

[Aaron]

And a cold wind is a calling.

[JPC]

That song was great.

[Aaron]

Yeah.

[JPC]

How does. The chorus is like I want to touch the sky. But that was a very catchy, very good song and it made me want to rewatch Brave and Braveheart.

[Aaron]

Kind of impressive that I remember that song. And I haven't seen that movie in 10 years.

[JPC]

If they could make a sequel to Brave, but with Mel Gibson, I think that would be. I think we all win.

[Aaron]

I think. No, fellas, I got something I want to ask you or talk to you about, and I actually want everyone to kind of chill the fuck out about it. And Casey, if you're listening, if you want to hop on, this also involves you just for a quick second.

[Adol]

Casey's doing his homework for the review crew up that we're recording later, but has already come out.

[Aaron]

Casey.

[Adol]

Wow, he did.

[Aaron]

He's here. Okay, so I'm going to be in Chicago.

[Adol]

Okay.

[Aaron]

In a little bit. I'm going to be there for a little while.

[JPC]

Chicago, Illinois.

[Aaron]

Illinois, yes. Chicago, Scotland.

[JPC]

Just checking.

[Aaron]

And I was wondering if you guys wanted to take me to my first 40x mower.

[Adol]

Aaron, you absolutely cannot stay with me. What was the question?

[Aaron]

Okay, but can I borrow money?

[JPC]

Okay, it's happening, guys. It's happening. Okay, hold on. I do have. I already have the 40x schedule pulled up.

[Aaron]

Oh, I take it back.

[JPC]

I've actually looked at these dates a lot and tried to do the math of, like, what we could convince Aaron. To go to because it's a tough week. Because it's gonna be a horror movie. It's gonna be 28 years later.

[Aaron]

Aaron, I will take it. And I'm taking it back in such a major way. I'm taking it all back.

[JPC]

See, that's what I mean. Both JBC and Aaron will not see that. Too late. Verbal contract.

[Aaron]

I will throw up on you. I will make sure when I projectile vomit during that movie, it will be onto you. If you take me to that movie.

[JPC]

Aaron, I know you think that's a threat. That happens at every 40x movie. Everyone barfs. That's. I think it's a guarantee money back. Sometimes you barf, but then they spray the water and it coll energy beans in an anime and the barf goes back in your mouth. Yeah. Sort of like a block shot. Yeah. You get to eat your popcorn twice.

[Aaron]

Aaron, I recently rew. I'm watching Arrest the Development again. And the Martin Short episode is so funny. First of all, I don't think he ever saw an episode of the show. And his tone of comedy when he comes on is so different. Oh, yeah, but he's. Remember his character? He's like strong up top and his legs don't work.

[JPC]

Yeah, the little duke or something.

[Aaron]

Yeah. They like toss him, but they shake him a lot and he throws up down himself. That's sort of the running bit of that character. And I feel like that would be me at a 40x movie.

[JPC]

I do think we have to. I think we have to go.

[Adol]

You know, the. Aaron, you'll also still be in town when what is it the formula one movie comes out. I don't know about. I don't know about that in 40. I mean, it's going to be in 40x, I think. I think if anything makes you throw up, it might be the Formula 1 48. That could be a rough one. I will just say that could be a rough one.

[JPC]

It could be a rough one.

[Aaron]

What date does that come out?

[Adol]

It comes out. I think the earliest showing is the Wednesday the 25th.

[Aaron]

Oh, let's do that one.

[Adol]

So it's like. It'll be. It's like, yeah, it could be. Yeah, I mean, we could do that one. We could do that one.

[JPC]

Guys, I'll buy tickets. Should we just have this be July review crew also?

[Aaron]

Maybe that's the time you guys can all meet Zorp.

[Adol]

I think you'll also still technically be in town for like the beginning of July. And that's the Jurassic park movie. And that Might be the best 40x option. That movie does look like a waste of time. Pile of raptor shit, a waste of time. That movie looks like a waste of everybody's time.

[Aaron]

Well, but I think something to consider one of those two movies I will go to see. And for now, let's do some riddles. Okay, Casey, thank you so much for hopping on.

[JPC]

Thank you, Casey.

[Aaron]

Surf's up, my guy. 100%. Oh, great. That's good to hear. That one. And not a horrible sexual one from the soundboard. Thank you, Casey.

[JPC]

Jvc.

[Aaron]

Don't.

[JPC]

Let's do some little warmups. I've really been.

[Adol]

Aaron, don't tell me what to do.

[Aaron]

Don't. Sorry. Did you not see the cogs turning in his head?

[Adol]

No, I was updating our Sharon Hammer the riddle calendar to do a 40x movie. That's.

[JPC]

Let's do some of these warm up trios. Really been enjoying those. So again, this will be something. I'll say three things. They all have something in common. You let me know what they have in common. First one we'll do is automotive stores. Actors and hairdos.

[Adol]

Automotive stores.

[Aaron]

What's an automotive store?

[JPC]

Like Napa Auto Parts.

[Adol]

Like a auto store.

[Aaron]

They're waiting for their big breaks.

[JPC]

Oh, Aaron.

[Adol]

Holy shit.

[Aaron]

I don't know how that applies to hair.

[JPC]

Well, Danny DeVito famously worked in. Or maybe Joe Pesci, one of them worked in their sister's hair shop until they got their big break.

[Adol]

Wow. Wow. So all short people are the same to you, is that right? Adol?

[JPC]

You're telling me.

[Aaron]

Yeah, I said that to my face.

[JPC]

You're telling me a Danny DeVito sized man in a mask comes up to you and robs you? You don't conflate Joe Pesci and Danny DeVito. You don't point to them both in the lineup?

[Adol]

Well, first of all, if I'm getting robbed by this guy, I'm obviously going Wet Bandit. And I'm obviously going Joe Pesci. Right. Like I'm telling the cops it was Joe Pesci. Even if it was Danny DeVito. Because I just don't. Does DeVito rob? No.

[JPC]

Yeah, he can throw mama from the train. I think he robs.

[Adol]

Yeah.

[JPC]

Rob that someone of their life.

[Adol]

Someone. 650.

[JPC]

650. Of course, the ticket price at the time in 1980.

[Adol]

Yeah, I was trying to adjust for. Holy shit.

[JPC]

Can I tell you guys, speaking of what bandits. Can I tell you guys, I got super high the other day and thought about Home Alone for some reason. I have a New theory, which is that Kevin McAllister was a sleeper agent, and he was activated because he's a little boy who knows how to.

[Aaron]

All right, weed has to be illegal again. I'm calling it.

[Adol]

Yeah, they need it taken away.

[JPC]

I think it's like a Bourne Identity situation where he's like, a sleeper agent who's trained in for who? Martial arts. Huh.

[Adol]

Who's he a sleeper agent for? It's got to be like an Americans thing for Russia, right?

[JPC]

Yeah, it might be like the Black Widow Project kind of thing, where he was in the Red Room or whatever.

[Adol]

Yeah. Cause he can't be a sleeper agent because he's sleeping in America like he's sleeping in the Chicago store.

[JPC]

I'm sorry. I misspoke. He's a sleeping agent, so he slept through breakfast, which is why he wasn't counted in the van by Catherine o' Hara.

[Adol]

I do want to see a quick scene. Aaron. Aaron, you're going to be playing a sleeping agent. And Adol, you are going to be playing Erin's handler, who is debriefing her after her latest mission, which she, of course, slept through.

[JPC]

Wake up. Wake up. Could you be any more asleep? I have a handler. I have a handler.

[Aaron]

Oh, I'm late for the. I'm late for this city. I'm late for the city.

[JPC]

You what?

[Aaron]

Sorry, what was that?

[JPC]

You slept through the mission.

[Aaron]

How'd it go?

[JPC]

Terrible. It went terrible. You missed the drop. 18 people died. 4 horses died.

[Aaron]

So what I'm hearing is that 12 people are still alive. And 5 horses. Not so bad.

[JPC]

I mean, they're not wrong, but.

[Aaron]

Joe, should we get pancakes?

[JPC]

When you apply yourself, you are our best agent. You want pancakes? You think you deserve pancakes? Pancakes are for people who complete their mission. Now I can put you back into society and have you never know that you were trained or an agent at all. Is that what you prefer?

[Aaron]

I really want pancakes.

[JPC]

Sound of Music. Three, two, one. Sound of Music.

[Aaron]

High on the hill is a lonely ghoster. Lay on the. Lay on the. Lady, you're back to the lonely Goater. Lay on the hill.

[Adol]

We cut to the guy who programmed Aaron talking to Adel. Okay, so this is my fault. I didn't read the email so much when you said the trigger should be a Sound of Music, I skimmed from there. And I was like, I got these.

[Aaron]

Excuse me, sir. Don't point to me and say, this is your fault. Also, did you just say Sound of Music?

[Adol]

I didn't sneeze.

[JPC]

Why does she always confirm?

[Adol]

Ah, great.

[Aaron]

Two More horses starts beating you guys up. Smack, smack, smack. Your head together. Run.

[JPC]

Grabs us with your thighs and flips us over. See.

[Adol]

They do, like, the thigh flips in those movies. Hey, speaking of those movies, I had an idea. You know how they're doing? Like, they have all these, like, live action movie, live action versions of, like, classic animated stuff, even though, like, the live action ones aren't actually live action because, like, cgi.

[Aaron]

Cgi.

[Adol]

Yeah. Cause it's so cgi. I think what they should start doing is making animated versions of previously, like, completely live action movies.

[JPC]

Okay, so, like, good fellas, good fellas.

[Aaron]

But make it birds.

[JPC]

I the first, I truly was like, Goodfellas and Aaron's. Holy shit.

[Adol]

I don't know why you both said Goodfellas.

[JPC]

Holy shit.

[Adol]

And I don't know why Aaron went with birds for Goodfellas.

[JPC]

Like, well, wasn't that an Animaniac sketch? Was, like, the birds that were like Birdfellows or something. Pigeon fellows.

[Adol]

They could have been pigeon fellas.

[Aaron]

That's bad.

[JPC]

That's wild that our first thought was Goodfellas.

[Aaron]

Yeah, we're broken in the same way. We found each other, and we found each other.

[JPC]

Sound of music 3, 2, 1.

[Aaron]

Any other song?

[JPC]

My favorite part of Goodfellas was they have. There's a scene with, like, Martin Scorsese's real mom is in the movie.

[Adol]

Oh, really?

[JPC]

And they go. And Joe Pesci's like, he got his little. What do you call it? Like, a deer's foot. They're like, hoof. And he's like, yeah, I got his little hoof caught. And then they start talking about a painting, and it's like a man in a boat with two dogs. And Joe Pesci's like, look at the two dogs. One's looking that way, the other one's looking this way. And he's looking like. The guy in the middle is looking like, what do you want from me? It's just a very funny art review in the middle of a movie.

[Aaron]

I can't believe we both thought about Goodfellas.

[JPC]

That's wild.

[Aaron]

That's statistically improbable.

[Adol]

That's your first choice for animation.

[JPC]

Jpc, what is your first choice for animated rotoscope of a movie?

[Adol]

Oh, I think I go, we animate Braveheart. We animate Braveheart, but we put the girl from Brave in there instead.

[Aaron]

Okay.

[JPC]

Love it.

[Adol]

She gets to play William Wallace.

[JPC]

Finally.

[Adol]

Okay, wait, are we in the middle of a riddle? Is it Hair Break Break Salon?

[JPC]

These three things have something in Common automotive stores, actors and hairdos.

[Aaron]

This is something about a break. Like, breakage. Break in.

[Adol]

They all have wipers.

[Aaron]

Cut. Make the cut.

[Adol]

If you're Tom Cruise, you think you're wiping your own ass. You're crazy.

[JPC]

You think he'll jump out of a plane, but he won't put his hand back there?

[Adol]

I think so. I think so. I think that's. Hey, if I heard that Tom Cruise doesn't wipe and he has someone wipe for him, I wouldn't even break stride. I'd be like, yep. Yeah, that's one of the craziest men on the planet. I believe any crazy thing that you tell me about him.

[JPC]

I bet he does have, like, his shitting glasses. Like, he has Ray Bans for when he shits.

[Adol]

Have you heard the.

[Aaron]

I feel like I'm, like, seeing you guys. I feel like I'm at a zoo and I'm looking at you guys behind the glass, and I'm in awe right now of hearing you guys talk about this.

[Adol]

I'm like, oh, wow. I don't know where I heard it. The story about Tom Cruise where he was, like, trying to be relatable with, like, other, like, actors on a set, and they were, like, talking about how hard it is to, like, be an actor and go out in public. And Tom Cruise said, yeah, it's like, I can't even just go to the ravioli store.

[Aaron]

That is glorious.

[JPC]

To be fair. To be fair. I'm guessing somewhere in Beverly Hills there is a ravioli store.

[Adol]

I know. It's both crazy and to be like, well, you know what? Conceivably at his level of wealth. Yeah, there's a ravioli store for, like, super celebrities.

[Aaron]

I met a person that's on his Christmas gift list where he gives everyone the olive oil cake every year.

[JPC]

Yeah, I do want to.

[Aaron]

So the cake's amazing.

[JPC]

Have you guys seen the video of when Michael Jackson wanted to be normal? So he rented out a grocery store, shut it down, and then walked through the aisles with a shopping cart. It's unbelievable. Yeah, he's with a bunch of security. There's no. Obviously he bought out the store so nobody could shop alongside him. And he's with a shopping cart. He's just putting things in the cart and he's like, wheel. It's like, shopping's not fun, man.

[Adol]

Yeah, nothing bad happened to that man as a child.

[Aaron]

Okay, what is the answer to this riddle?

[JPC]

Okay, what is the answer? So this is automotive parts, actors and hairdos gel. This is something oil. They get. They Strive. Actors definitely strive for this.

[Aaron]

Fame. Break.

[Adol]

A break.

[Aaron]

Success.

[Adol]

They all want their big breaks.

[JPC]

Breaks are part of this kind of. They're under the umbrella of this. I guess if you're thinking about the automotive store.

[Aaron]

A part.

[JPC]

Aaron.

[Aaron]

Oh.

[JPC]

Because the hair part has parts. Wow.

[Adol]

The hair parts.

[Aaron]

I'd like to see a scene. Adol, you are a barber and you've just cut JPC's hair at JPC, you're trying to like, not be a bad sport or hurt his feelings, but it's the worst haircut you've ever had.

[Adol]

Great.

[JPC]

All right. And then a line down the middle. And ta da. We're done.

[Adol]

Oh, line down the middle. Oh, interesting. Yeah, I know. Think. Yeah. A lot of people aren't really wearing their hair with a big part down the middle much anymore.

[JPC]

Well, I start trends, I don't follow them, so.

[Adol]

Yeah, for sure. Yeah.

[JPC]

80 bucks, please.

[Adol]

Sure. And this is. And just. We're done with the haircut now. This is the end of the. This is the end result of the haircut. This isn't like a halfway point or.

[JPC]

This is not a safe spot.

[Adol]

Not a safe point.

[JPC]

Yep. This is the final boss is done.

[Adol]

And this is credits. This is credits. So is this one of those things where it has to like, dry this way so that later it can be shaped or is this.

[JPC]

Oh, don't get this wet. The product I've put in this don't get it wet.

[Adol]

I was noticing that it kind of.

[JPC]

Don'T feed it after midnight.

[Adol]

It does kind of burn. Or not even burn. Scorch. Like it's scorching hot A little bit.

[JPC]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Adol]

So I thought maybe there was like.

[JPC]

Yeah, salt activates it.

[Adol]

It definitely feels like it's salt.

[JPC]

Um, and prom's tomorrow.

[Adol]

Prom is tomorrow. Uh huh.

[Aaron]

Ding a ling. A ling. Sorry, I'm just walking by. I direct horror movies. You clearly do make hair and makeup for television. You've created this monster and I was just wanting to give you my card in case you ever wanted to come work for me. This is really terrifying stuff. Keep up the good work.

[JPC]

Oh, my God.

[Adol]

I'm just.

[JPC]

Wow. Okay, let's see. Wes Craven productions.

[Adol]

Wes is gender neutral. Was she talking about me? Hey, you know what? I couldn't also help. But you know, prom is to Marc that you also sell hats in the store.

[JPC]

Hold up.

[Aaron]

Excuse me, can you shut your curtains? I'm walking by with my son and he's crying. You can't be putting Halloween decorations this scary out this early.

[Adol]

Mommy, Mommy, make it Stop. It's not even October yet.

[Aaron]

Oh, are you mocking my son?

[Adol]

That's what he would sound like. He's outside. He's mouthing it from outside.

[Aaron]

Disgusting.

[Adol]

I'm a kid.

[JPC]

She threw coffee on me. Okay, let's.

[Adol]

All right, so let's be talking to kids. Yeah, maybe like a top hat or just something. Because it's like. Not that I don't like the haircut, because I don't not like the haircut at all, but promise tomorrow. So maybe like, if I could just maybe wear a hat as well. Or in addition to.

[JPC]

Okay, let's see. Here we have. Here's sort of a jaunty top hat.

[Adol]

Oh, okay. Yeah, this could. Got to go with what I'm working with for prom.

[Aaron]

Hello, I'm here from the city. We're gonna burn this whole building down. You violated several codes having something this absolutely disgusting. Despicable. Horrible.

[JPC]

Oh, sweetie. This building burned down years ago. We're ghosts.

[Adol]

Oh, I died on prom night.

[Aaron]

Oh, well. Something off my plate.

[Adol]

Something off my plate. What are the best responses to hearing that people are ghosts?

[JPC]

I died on prom night.

[Aaron]

I died on prom night.

[JPC]

I died on prom night.

[Adol]

It's not a contest.

[JPC]

Hey, ghost. It's not a contest. Let's do one more of these trios. Heaven, Microsoft and Airport.

[Adol]

Gates. They all have gates.

[JPC]

They all have gates. I do want to see a scene. Actually. We've probably done so many Heaven's Gate scenes.

[Aaron]

Well, I got a heaven scene for us. I got it.

[Adol]

Okay.

[Aaron]

This will be fun. Okay. We are three kids and we are hopping Heaven's gate late at night.

[Adol]

Three, like Aaron's like, oh, this will be fun. We're three kids and we're all dead. We all. We're all dead children. And we're.

[Aaron]

We might not be dead.

[Adol]

We don't.

[Aaron]

You might not be. Okay, give me a boost. Give me a boost.

[JPC]

Okay, okay, okay.

[Adol]

No way. You're never going to make it over those golden little spikes at the top.

[JPC]

Those are for birds though, right?

[Aaron]

Those are for birds. So they don't sit in the top.

[JPC]

Yeah, so they don't sit on the gates. Cuz if Heaven's gate has all over it, nobody wants to get in.

[Aaron]

We know birds don't go to heaven. We all saw bird Goodfellas.

[Adol]

They did bird Pesci dirty, but he deserved it. I'll throw a heavy blanket over the spikes. Okay, Ricky, you're gonna go in first, okay? And kind of. Because you're the fastest and just kind of like scope it out. And see if they, you know, we don't want to get caught by any, like, the angels or anything.

[Aaron]

Wait a second. Am I the sacrificial lamb for you guys? Why can't one of you go first?

[Adol]

Whoa, whoa. Sacrificial lamb? What's with all the Bible talk? Ricky?

[JPC]

Yeah, what's going on? You've been eating wafers all day. What's up?

[Aaron]

I don't know. I thought maybe just cushion this. Just if we get caught. See that? I'm.

[Adol]

Ricky, you're trying to get into heaven for real.

[Aaron]

No, I'm not only trying to get into heaven. We all know it's a nerd thing.

[JPC]

You apologize to us all day about all your past transgressions against us. What the fuck?

[Aaron]

Oh, I just was confessing my sins. It was the ironic timing.

[Adol]

Ricky doesn't go in until he does a sin. You gotta do a sin or else would not put you over the wall.

[JPC]

Yeah, you gotta do a sin, but it's gotta be as bad or worse than something that, like, I don't know, say, the Bad News Gang would do. Well, well, well.

[Adol]

No. In a scene, it happens. During a scene, it happens.

[Aaron]

Yeah, you're never safe from the Bad News News Gang.

[JPC]

We've been trying to get into heaven for 40 years.

[Adol]

40 years. Wait a second, wait a second. I just watched that one of the Bad News game come out of heaven. Who, me? Yeah.

[Aaron]

He was a good guy.

[Adol]

Yeah. Guys. Hey, how's it going? I mean, I missed you guys. You. Are you gonna be able to get into heaven anytime soon?

[JPC]

Yeah, we trying to. I died on prom.

[Aaron]

I died on prom. I died on prom night.

[JPC]

New merch.

[Adol]

Hey, at least we. Hey, we've only done two riddles, but at least we found an episode title.

[Aaron]

You guys, sometimes when we say stuff like I died on prom night, I think about the three star review we got in maybe like 2019. That was like. It's like if three Family Guy writers were not good enough to write for Family Guy, and we were like, ooh, ow, ow, ow, we've been shot. Why three stars, though? Why not one star?

[Adol]

Well, someone's obviously a pretty big fan of Family Guy.

[Aaron]

Made me really laugh. I think about it sometimes when we do scenes like that.

[Adol]

Crazy thing is, we almost all got on the same plane on 9 11. We could have. We could have been.

[Aaron]

You guys. I.

[Adol]

My favorite, Emilia Clarke.

[JPC]

We all dated Emilia Clarke.

[Aaron]

You guys, I've been thinking a lot about how Big Bird was almost on the Challenger, and I brought that up to Zorp. And he was like, that's if. Almost as if grover died on 9 11. And then that made me laugh quite hard because how do you explain that?

[Adol]

Which do you think is the bigger tragedy? Seth MacFarlane on the 911 plane or big Bird on the Challenger?

[Aaron]

Big Bird on the Challenge.

[JPC]

I think Big Bird on the Challenger would surpass an entire generation. I also think like Elmo in Tiananmen Square, like far. Like walking up to the tank. I think that would be pretty traumatic.

[Aaron]

Yeah. Guys think all these Sesame street characters were at the worst tragedies in human history of the 20th and 21st century.

[Adol]

I think if we don't have Family Guy, we don't have Rick and Morty. And then it's like, and then who are we? You're telling me we don't have Seth MacFarlane or Justin Roiland? Like who? You know, how is society gonna keep going on?

[Aaron]

Yeah. If we don't have.

[Adol]

What are white men my age gonna think is funny? Who knows?

[Aaron]

Who knows? Who knows?

[JPC]

Cookie Monster on the Zapruder film.

[Aaron]

You know what? Let's go for a break though. Probably maybe a break.

[JPC]

I think of a few more.

[Adol]

With a five dollar meal deal with new McValue, you pick a McDouble or a McChicken. Then get a small fry, a small drink and a four piece McNuggets. That's a lot of McDonald's for not a lot of money. Prices and Participation may vary. McDouble meal, $6 in some markets for a limited time only. With new McValue at McDonald's, you get more than you expect. So after a long day, buy a double cheeseburger and add a McChicken for a dollar. Because saving with deals is always on the menu. With new MCvalue, prices and participation may vary. Valid for item of equal or lesser value. Craving your next action packed adventure, Audible delivers thrills of every kind on your command. Like Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir where a lone astronaut must save humanity from extinction. Narrated with stunning intensity by Ray Porter. From electrifying suspense and daring quest to spine tingling horror and romance in far off realms. Unleash your adventure aside with gripping titles that'll keep you guessing. Discover exclusive Audible originals hotly anticipated new releases and must listen bestsellers that hook you from the first minute. Because Audible knows there's no greater thrill than the one that speaks to you. Discover what lies beyond the edge of your seat. Start your free 30 day trial at audible.com wonderyus that's audible.com wonderyus you guys I just remembered something that I. Well, first of all, I tried to take a picture of it, but it was. It was. I'll explain in a second, but it's one of those situations where the picture that I took just didn't quite capture it. The other day, I was driving and I wanted to text you guys about this, but I didn't because I didn't have the picture. I was driving, and it was one of those things where there was like a long line, like, line in a lane to turn right. And right at the front of that line, the guy in the left hand lane just kind of like cut in in front of me. Like, he didn't want to wait for the long line. He just wanted to, you know, cut. Cut in at the end. And he got it in front of me, and I was like, ah, what an asshole. And then I saw that his. He had a license plate cover. You know, the thing that, like, covers your license plate. And it was a. It just said browsers.com. it was just a Browsers dot com.

[Aaron]

Oh, brother.

[Adol]

License.

[JPC]

Oh, browsers.

[Aaron]

Oh, brzers.

[Adol]

And I could see him, like, in the rearview mirror, and he looked to be, like, a relatively. Probably youngish white guy with an empty car. No one else in the car. With a Brazer's license plate cover. And I thought to myself, man, what does it take for you to put. You have to put that on your car? Or is it like one of those joke things where, like, his friends were like, hey, let's put a bronzer license plate cover on his car and see if you notice.

[JPC]

One day they'll study his brain, I assume.

[Adol]

But my first thought was, like, when he cut in front of me was like, oh, what an asshole. And then my second thought when I saw that was, yeah, who else but an asshole?

[Aaron]

Sure.

[JPC]

Aaron, have you seen Band of Brazers?

[Aaron]

Yeah, Jimmy Fallon's in it. Isn't that crazy?

[JPC]

Hey, babe.

[Adol]

Swimmer and Band of Brazers. Okay.

[JPC]

Okay, let's get into some real big riddles.

[Aaron]

I Love it.

[JPC]

Some RBRs. I cannot be seen. I cannot be touched. You won't hear me and you can't feel me, but I can improve your day. What am I?

[Aaron]

Luck's on prom night.

[JPC]

Okay, I heard Luck and I heard. What was the other one?

[Aaron]

Prom night ghost on prom night.

[JPC]

Prom night ghost. Prom night ghost. Okay, I do want to see this scene.

[Adol]

Okay?

[JPC]

Aaron and JBC, you're both @ prom, you're each other's date, and I just want to see the origin story of one of you becoming One of those prom night ghosts that are so prominent in the news today.

[Aaron]

Misty, I know we didn't come here as dates, but I was wondering if I could snag one dance with you.

[Adol]

Wow. No one's asked me to dance all night. I thought this was so stupid to come to prom alone and just try to have a good time. And I haven't been having a good time. But, Nick, you coming up to me, asking me for a dance. Okay, I want to say yes. But before we do this, can we both just, like, put our cards on the table? We're not, like, working with anyone else, trying to prank the other person and embarrass them, Right, Misty?

[Aaron]

You think me, the captain of the football team, would ask you to dance under the big. What is it called? Disco ball that's been rigged to fall on someone. You think I would do such a thing?

[Adol]

Yeah. I hate asking, but it's just that, like, I know that the school has a tradition of the captain of the football team, like, asking, kind of the, you know, homely, shut in girl to, like, dance. Understand? There's always, like, a big prank. I just know it happens every year at this school. And I know that this situation's different because, like, I can't really think of why it would be different, But I don't want to not trust you, Nick. It's just that, like, right. Like, you understand the circumstances and how I might be, like, a little distressed. I don't want to sound like, am I making too big of a deal of this?

[Aaron]

Me, a classically bad guy, doing such a thing? Wow. Misty, Misty, Misty, Misty, Misty, Misty, Misty. Misty. Gestures towards friends. She's figured it out. Misty, Misty, Misty. I don't know what you're. Stands right under disco ball. Disco ball falls on hit Nick, splatters to a thousand, Falls on Nick. Sort of floats up.

[Adol]

Oh, no.

[Aaron]

I'm a prom night girl.

[Adol]

Hold on, hold on. Was the prank a disco ball full of cement? That's not a prank. You were gonna kill me.

[Aaron]

Well, now I've learned my lesson. You guys, we have to prank Misty in a different way.

[Adol]

You're a thousand pieces. You're all over everyone.

[Aaron]

Thank you. No musical guest.

[JPC]

See DJ looks on dance floor, sees dead kid, still plays Eric Clapton's wonderful. Ton.

[Adol]

Please.

[Aaron]

Eric Clapton's wonderful tonight.

[JPC]

Musical guest. I do think, if I have my druthers, if I'm able to muster it, I want my final words to be musical guest.

[Adol]

Do you think that.

[Aaron]

Don't muster it.

[Adol]

Do you think that Don Pardo who talked like a ghost in life, like, died, went to heaven and was like, hey, guys, what's up? It's me, Don Pardo. I don't have to talk like a ghost up here.

[Aaron]

I'm glad that he's in heaven.

[Adol]

I assume.

[JPC]

I assume.

[Adol]

I don't know anything about Don Pardo as a man. I don't know what he does.

[Aaron]

I don't know anything about heaven.

[Adol]

I haven't read any of the books about the little kids who like, you know, die for three seconds and then go to heaven and then write a book. I haven't read those books yet.

[Aaron]

Yet.

[JPC]

I will die for three seconds, go to heaven. What is this?

[Adol]

What is this? There's like, yeah, there's like, books that are, like, written by parents who have, like, had like, a kid who was like, I died and went to heaven. Like, they're like, heart stopped or something. They were in, like, some accident and then they came, you know, they came back. People that have had, like, near death experiences. I think there's like, a pretty famous example of, like, a hoax where a kid's parents, like, faked his. He died for a minute and, like, went to heaven and described what he saw in heaven's story.

[JPC]

Are they talking about dreams? Cause I have those.

[Adol]

No, I think it's like a kid who went on Dr. Phil, like back in the day, who was like, described. Described what heaven was like. And it was, you know, a little kid's understanding of heaven. But his parents, like, sold a New York Times bestselling book off of it. And then, of course, people were like, this is a scam. This kid didn't actually even, like, die or whatever.

[JPC]

I'm so sorry to interject, but have you heard the story that this happened to Gary Busey? He got in a motorcycle accident and claims he saw heaven. And then he was on a movie set with an extra, and he was complaining that this doesn't look like what heaven looks like. The set was supposed to be heaven.

[Aaron]

Yikes.

[JPC]

And then the extra was like, I've also been to heaven. And you're wrong. And then they got in a fist fight over whose version of heaven that they saw when they died for. Like, that is fucking incredible, Casey. That sounds like my hell. That's actually hell is an extra fight. Yeah. Hell is Gary Busey in an extra fighting over heaven.

[Aaron]

They were both wrong. It was hell.

[Adol]

When you have a Gary Busey movie, you don't even screen the extras for weirdos because you're like, no one's going to Be weirder than Gary Busey. We got this. Everyone just let them all on set.

[JPC]

He's a Crispin Glover of actors.

[Adol]

This is why Hollywood doesn't have extras anymore. This is why every scene takes place inside. And every person that you don't see has four hands, because they're all made by AI. Because one extra got in a fistfight with Gary over what the real heaven was like, and he ruined it for everybody else.

[JPC]

I cannot be seen. I cannot be touched. You won't hear me and you can't feel me, but I can improve your day. What am I?

[Adol]

Air conditioning?

[JPC]

Oh.

[Aaron]

Oh, that's great.

[JPC]

You're kind of close. You're kind of close.

[Aaron]

A cold wind on a hot day.

[JPC]

A breeze getting colder. But that's terrible answer for you to have. For me to say getting colder, but getting colder in a bad way. Getting further from the right answer.

[Adol]

So it's not air conditioning, but it's something.

[JPC]

It tethers to an appliance in the house. And it's something like wind or something where you can't really see it.

[Adol]

Is it like microwaves or.

[Aaron]

Yes.

[Adol]

Oh, like a microwave.

[JPC]

Microwave particles.

[Adol]

Wow.

[JPC]

Finally, the answer to a riddle is microwave particles.

[Adol]

Well, you know what this makes me think, though? This riddle's not for everyone because I don't think that. Does it say that this makes your day better?

[JPC]

It says, I can improve your day. And the example.

[Adol]

I guess I can.

[JPC]

So the example it gives for why it improves your day is it can cook your lunch.

[Adol]

I don't fuck with microwaves. I just don't think I trust anything that, like, I'd like to see. A scene heats things so quickly and so, like, microwaves make things, like, molten hot, like, instantly. It's weird.

[Aaron]

You are on a date with a microwave played by Adol, and it's not going well.

[Adol]

I think I'm just gonna get the check. I obviously.

[JPC]

Oh, no.

[Adol]

I just don't think that. I don't think we're a good fit.

[JPC]

Something I did or.

[Adol]

Yeah, I don't know. I just think that we're. We just don't vibe right. Are you. I mean, am I wrong? Are you feeling a connection here?

[JPC]

I thought things were heating up, but they were before. I've been wrong before, so.

[Adol]

No, I think that they were in a way that I just wasn't comfortable with because I'm more like a. I think I want to keep things a lot colder.

[JPC]

I just. Sorry, I'm getting. Whoa. Would you look at that? It's flashing 12. So I should get. I should get going.

[Adol]

Okay. Did. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to press your buttons. Sorry. Reach across the table. Press a couple of these.

[Aaron]

Hey, whoa. You can't do that in here. Sorry. That's public indecency. Sorry. We're really cracking down at the restaurant.

[JPC]

I'm wearing pants.

[Aaron]

Still, Still, Still. You can't just be metaphorically reaching down a Shrek's pants in this. It's a nice restaurant, okay? No shirt, no shoes, no snacks, no service.

[JPC]

Metaphorically reaching down to Shrek's pants.

[Adol]

What is the metaphor? What's that metaphor? Because that just seems like straight up.

[Aaron]

Just don't. No PDA in here, guys. Seriously.

[Adol]

He's been opening his door all dinner. But that's not. That's fine, cuz he's doing it to himself. But as soon as I reach over and touch one button.

[Aaron]

I don't know that was sexual. I thought the buttons were sexual. I didn't know the door was sexual.

[JPC]

Oh, one of the buttons is.

[Aaron]

All right, please, guys, you're gonna have to leave.

[Adol]

I was trying to leave. I've been doing that asshole thing where I take two fingers and try to.

[Aaron]

Get the check for like two fingers. Don't tell me what you guys do. I don't want to know what you guys do. Two fingers doesn't have to be two.

[Adol]

It could be three. It could be.

[JPC]

This is a Tilted Kilt. I thought this kind of stuff played here.

[Adol]

Yeah, you can't fuck at a Tilted Guilt.

[Aaron]

No, not anymore.

[Adol]

This is where it's coming to. Not anymore. I want to speak to the manager.

[Aaron]

Oh, I guess you're lucky day. Because I'm the. I'm the freaking manager. I'm the freaking manager.

[Adol]

Shit. Shit. Is there like a district supervisor or.

[Aaron]

Yeah, you wanna talk to him?

[Adol]

Is he here? I know they probably rotate. They have like many stories, but is he. Or they.

[Aaron]

Yeah, he's here.

[Adol]

Gender it is. Yeah, I'd love to talk to him for a minute if I could.

[JPC]

Yeah, bring him out, please.

[Aaron]

Okay, here he is.

[Adol]

Hey, everybody. I'm Nick. I'm the district manager. How is everybody's meeting?

[Aaron]

Nick? Pants on. What are you doing, Nick?

[Adol]

Oh, man, I forgot my pants. I guess someone's gonna have to fuck me.

[JPC]

See?

[Adol]

Oh, brother. Seems like competing messages from the different management levels at the Tilted Kilt.

[Aaron]

I don't know.

[JPC]

Is that what those are called? Tilted Kilt? Right.

[Adol]

There's a thing called.

[Aaron]

I don't even know what you're talking about. I don't Know what that is?

[JPC]

I feel like there was a whole litany of places that opened after Hooters was successful. That was like Twin Peaks maybe.

[Adol]

Yeah.

[JPC]

Where it was like. Oh, like Brester Mountains. And then I thought there was one that was called Twisted Kilt or Tilted Kilt. Something where the women wear, like, plaid skirts or something.

[Adol]

Yeah. Yes. I mean, there was another one that I can't fucking think of. I don't know. Yeah, but there were a bunch of.

[JPC]

Those just sort of all piggybacking off the success of Whom?

[Adol]

Theme restaurants. And the theme was, what if we make the all female waitstaff dress in, like, tube tops and shit?

[JPC]

Yeah. I think that's the thing where people can be like, oh, but I love the wings. I think Tilted Kilts.

[Adol]

Like parking. There's always parking.

[Aaron]

Yeah. Okay.

[JPC]

It's right next to a Circuit City.

[Adol]

You can park at the Circuit City and walk over. They won't tow you.

[JPC]

Very much. Channeling Tim Robinson there, jpc. Yeah, I like that a lot. They won't tow you. All right, let's go to another riddle here. I can be high or low. I can run fast or slow. I am needed both by the President and the kid down the street. What am I.

[Adol]

Is this air conditioning? I feel like a lot of these are air conditioning now. I got air conditioning on the brain and it's just the only thing that works. My air conditioning was out like three days ago. I don't know if that must probably play. That could do it.

[JPC]

I do want to see a scene. Aaron, forgive me. I didn't grow up with this. Or I did, but I just never read it. What's the school bus?

[Aaron]

What are you about to do to me?

[JPC]

What's the school bus that shrinks down?

[Adol]

Magic School bus.

[Aaron]

Magic school.

[JPC]

Magic school Bus. Aaron, you're like the woman who does Magic School Bus, but you have, like a van.

[Aaron]

Ms. Frizzle. Okay, got it.

[JPC]

Yeah, you're like a Ms. Frizzle, but you have a van, and it's sort of a two bit operation. But you are taking your class, played by JPC and I inside a air conditioner to show them how it works.

[Adol]

Aaron, he didn't know the name of the Magic school bus or Ms. Frizzle's or real Mushu Milan's situation going on over here.

[JPC]

I mean, to me it's just a ripoff of inner space, which I grew up with.

[Aaron]

Okay, kids, I know I've gotten two strikes ever since I took you inside a human body without getting permission slips from your Family.

[JPC]

That man exploded when we resized.

[Aaron]

We all remember, Thomas. We all remember. Look at me. We all remember. Okay, okay, okay.

[Adol]

Yeah. We still have to do the court mandated therapy to try to process what we saw.

[Aaron]

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Mrs. Frumple is gonna shrink us down once again. And we're gonna learn how the inside of an air conditioner works. Right before the summer, the judge took.

[Adol]

Your shrink ray away. The judge said you couldn't use it anymore.

[Aaron]

Yeah, he said you're a witch. There you guys are being very funny today. No one's raising their hands though. This is still school. The judge has their address publicly online and doesn't really lock their second story windows.

[JPC]

Yeah, you sent the judge a pizza. You sent the judge a pizza with a note that said the judge took.

[Adol]

The shrink ray home.

[Aaron]

Uh, yeah.

[Adol]

Why?

[Aaron]

If you got access to a shrink ray, you'll sort of fold for anything. Anyways, kids, we're gonna shrink our ourselves down. We're going inside of an air conditioning inside the judge's house, and then we're going to resize and the house will hopefully explode.

[JPC]

Mrs. Frumple. Mrs. Frumple. You're just sort of driving into the front door of this house and then backing up and driving.

[Aaron]

You think you could have a normal day with Ms. Frumple? No way. Cruising out down Main street and I'm going to a bar with these children. What? What?

[Adol]

You let go from the school?

[Aaron]

Oh, Mikey. Semantic. Semantic semantics, Mikey. I'll uppercut you in the nose if you speak again.

[JPC]

She'll do it. She'll do it.

[Aaron]

Here we go.

[Adol]

Beep beep.

[Aaron]

Have a good time.

[JPC]

See, Mrs. Frumple is maybe my new favorite character. Mrs. Rumple's Magic School Van. Vocational School Van. Vocational School V. None of you kids are gonna do anything except for some sort of service industry job.

[Adol]

It's incredibly risky to drive a school bus into a human body. I mean, that's like. Yeah. The whole idea of resizing inside of someone.

[JPC]

You guys, the fumes alone.

[Aaron]

Not to add to any sort of body paranoia you're already having. If people have health OCD like I do, I don't wanna add to this, but I'm starting to feel a little bit uneasy that there could be a school bus filled with children inside me at any given moment. I can't be sure that they're not in my bloodstream right now.

[JPC]

Yeah, Aaron, open your mouth and let's see if we let's listen for tiny screams.

[Adol]

We would be able to pick it up on the microphone. To me, it's liberating, Aaron, knowing that there could be a tiny school bus inside of me, explaining to children about the inside of my body. And it's, like, not even affecting me, you know, it's like the fact that.

[Aaron]

Oh, it's. I think whatever's inside you is definitely affecting you.

[Adol]

Oh, well, yeah. I mean, it's like a.

[Aaron]

Whatever brain worm you have.

[Adol]

But I'll never know life without it. Right. Like, I'll never know. I'll never know what the other option could have been. To not be infected by a school bus full of shrieking children.

[Aaron]

Maybe that's what we all have in common. We're trying to figure out why we're all broken in the same way. Maybe there's a school bus filled with children inside all of us.

[JPC]

I'd like to think that there's hundreds of school buses inside me with just little skeletons.

[Adol]

Yeah. They couldn't get out.

[JPC]

There's something beautiful about that. Yeah. Something about my body where I don't.

[Adol]

Want to keep sending school buses full of people in to, like, find the other school bus. They're just all getting lost.

[JPC]

Rescue search teams. There's a bunch of dead dogs.

[Aaron]

You know that video of, like, the. The circle where it starts with, like, a couple at a picnic and it zooms out and then it goes back and it zooms in, and it's just like, whoa, space. And, like. And the stuff inside us is all the same. It's like.

[Adol]

No, but I understand.

[Aaron]

Everybody is inside, like, a. And there's someone inside of a school bus. Inside them. Inside them.

[JPC]

Whoa.

[Adol]

I think if there were a school bus full of children in my body to, like, learn about the human body. Those kids are all getting, like, a C minus on their. Like, I can imagine that they're going in and then the teachers the whole time is like, I shouldn't be here. Oh, that's all right.

[Aaron]

Because canonically, the Bee from Bee movie is inside your stomach.

[Adol]

Did you guys fucking see? I saw the other day. The goddamn B movie is back free on streaming. I was joking. I was so goddamn mad.

[JPC]

I think our review crew pushed it over the edge where they're like, three new viewers. Guys, guys, we're so back.

[Aaron]

Put it back on. They said, we're so back.

[JPC]

It's like in Coming to America, when they call back the two guys from Trading Places and they are given money, and he's like, randolph, Randolph, we're back. It's akin to that. A very specific reference.

[Adol]

Did anyone watch the Animated Transformers movie from last year? No, Transformers 1. It's good. We watched it last night. It's pretty good. But Keegan Michael Key is in it, and he makes an a, A Ron joke in that movie. And I was like, that's fun. It's fun because it was either written. It's fun if he did it for himself. It's less fun if someone wrote it for him and they were like, hey, how about an A. A Ron joke? And he's like, all right, man. Yeah, let me do my own callbacks. But if he got to put it in himself, then it's fun.

[JPC]

I need to watch that. Well, speaking of things we need to do, I think we need to hear a voicemail.

[Adol]

Casey, I would love to.

[Aaron]

That's so funny.

[JPC]

What if a doo wop group got hit on the head? We have a voicemail here. Thank you for that theme song. That was from.

[Adol]

That's from Chris Fenke, a longtime submitter of voicemails. I think that this one is Finky saying this theme is an idea that I think is very funny, but nobody else seems to agree. I'm not sure if you can identify with that in any way. No, I think it's funny. I like it.

[Aaron]

That has another turning point of fork stuck in the road. Another turning point of fork.

[JPC]

Somebody once told me, somebody, I guess.

[Adol]

We'Re the exact right people to think something like that is funny. So maybe we can't identify. We can't identify because we think things like that are funny and no one else does.

[JPC]

Let's listen to this voicemail, and then we'll go back to the riddle we didn't solve.

[Aaron]

Oh, my God. Hey, Clue crew, it's Annie. I was wondering, what do you think.

[Adol]

I should do for my next job? I'm transitioning to a new job, and I'm trying to figure out what to do with my life, so figured I.

[Aaron]

Would ask the experts.

[Adol]

All right, love you guys. Have a good one.

[Aaron]

Bye.

[JPC]

Annie, thank you for your voicemail. This is a little tough because you don't give us any sort of resume or skill sets or special skills.

[Aaron]

So we're gonna go with Prom Night.

[JPC]

Ghost, I think Prom Night Ghost or Coachable Sandwich.

[Adol]

Yeah, Coachable Sandwich, I think would be good.

[Aaron]

Teacher with a shrink. Gray.

[Adol]

I will say, if you love where you work, you'll never work a day in your love. So make love, not war at work.

[Aaron]

Okay, what about office administrator?

[Adol]

Yeah.

[Aaron]

Because you don't.

[JPC]

That's vague enough to where. Yeah.

[Aaron]

With something like that, I don't Feel like you're taking your work home with you. Choose something where you don't have to think about it when you're not doing it.

[Adol]

Here's the thing, and this is the thing that kind of sucks. It is hard to like call what will be like a good high paying job in the future industry by the time you're like finished training and preparing for that job. Because it's like it used to be like, you know, I want 10 years ago you'd just be like software developer, start learning salesforce. Like, you know, you want to make some money, just go do that. And now it's like all those entry level jobs are like, actually, we're probably just going to. Even though they won't actually do this, they're just saying we'll probably have an AI do this in like three years so we don't actually need you.

[Aaron]

Well, the advice that they're giving people is coding or environmental science.

[Adol]

I'm saying coding is over. Coding is over, over, over.

[Aaron]

That's, I think whatever AI needs. Like, however you can assist AI into helping them do that. Or environmental science. Learn how to make renewable energy or keep endangered species alive. I think that those are the only options at this point.

[Adol]

Corporate law. Going to corporate law. That's probably a good one.

[JPC]

I would offer up two things. One, carpenter. Something we, we will probably need also. Yeah, obviously the most beautiful man of all time held that job, Harrison Ford, before he became an actor.

[Adol]

Get off my plane.

[JPC]

Get off my desk. And then two, get off my red Hulk. Their name is Annie. Annie was Annie. Aaron, you might know this. Was Annie a professional orphan. I mean, Dani Warbucks was loaded, right?

[Aaron]

Yeah, she definitely manipulated that situation.

[Adol]

Yeah, I would say professional.

[Aaron]

That's not even her real hair.

[Adol]

Based completely off your name, I would say Annie, get your gun. You know what I'm saying? Join the army. Join the army. This is good advice. My advice to you is to join the army, Annie.

[JPC]

I hope that helps. And if it doesn't, call us back with what your interests or skills are.

[Aaron]

And we'll take another whack at it. Adol. What riddle are we doing?

[JPC]

I can be high or low. I can run fast or slow. I am needed both by the President and the kid down the street. What am I?

[Adol]

And it's not air conditioning.

[Aaron]

Like I said, not a shower.

[JPC]

Air conditioning and showers both use this water. It is water. I can be high or low. I can run fast or slow. I am needed both by the President and the kid down the street.

[Aaron]

What does high or low mean.

[JPC]

I don't know.

[Aaron]

Okay. Adol. Anything to plug.

[JPC]

I want to plug. Speaking of water, I saw a thing where they're like, they made like a supercomputer with like water where it's called like Wet AI or something.

[Adol]

Yeah.

[JPC]

Where it's like brain cells in water. It's doing something. I just want to. I want to unplug that. Yeah, I think that's gonna be the downfall of us. I read the article, or skimmed it at least, and it gave me goosebumps and it sent chills down my skin.

[Adol]

It sounds more like a scam.

[JPC]

I think it's like a precog situation, but it's brain cells crying in water and it's pretty scary. So I wanna unplug that. Aaron, do you have anything you wanna plug?

[Aaron]

When does this episode come out?

[Adol]

The 25th.

[Aaron]

Some of it might be passed already, but I have. Oh, no, I think maybe. No, I have a wet bus show while I'm in Chicago. I'm going to be doing some improv when I'm back in Chicago. Generally, if you live in Chicago and you want to come out and you let just message me and I'll try to get you a comp to whatever I'm in. But if you live in la, I host a show called Quality Time that you can follow on Instagram. And it's a true variety show. We have. The June one is tonight. We have a death doula coming. We always have music and comedy, but we also have a mix of other things. If you're ever in town and you're interested in seeing that gpc, any review to read or anything to plug.

[Adol]

Yes, something to plug. First up, a little tour update. Our show in Chicago this Friday night. So the one that's happening in like two days, we still have like five tickets left for that show. So if you didn't get your ticket yet, but you still want to come to that show, you can probably still snag one of those last tickets. Our show in Minneapolis/St. Paul on Sunday night. That one is sold out. So if you didn't get your tickets, sorry, but we added a Monday show the next night. So that is the 30th Monday, the 30th in St. Paul, same place. There are still plenty of tickets left for that show. And that's going to be a fun one because we're going to be kind of doing an unofficial review crew of the Mall of America at that show. And then later next month, the end of the next month, there's Still a few tickets left for Portland, Seattle, and you can always get livestream tickets for la. I think there's still some in person ones left for LA as well, but you can get livestream tickets too. And then I think we still have tickets left for everything else for the rest of the year. Except Nashville. Nashville is sold out. So if you're in Nashville, maybe you're out of luck or maybe drive to Atlanta. Hey, we'll certainly be doing it, so you probably can too. And then I never plug this on the show, but if you are a review crew subscriber, we are doing our monthly livestream tomorrow on the 26th. It's going to be at 6pm Central. And that one we're going to all be in person for. So I think that'll be fun because Aaron's in that one.

[Aaron]

I'm not going to fall for the Ryan Reynolds photo, so Aaron, you are.

[Adol]

And I cannot wait to show you how you're going to fall for it in person. I know, I know. I've thought a lot about it. Aaron. Yeah. No, you can't stop, please. Basically, I've engineered it so you can't stop it.

[JPC]

4D chest. Ryan Reynolds chest.

[Adol]

Yeah, but Aaron, I'm excited to see your face.

[Aaron]

No.

[Adol]

In person.

[Aaron]

No. Jupiter. No. No, no.

[Adol]

Created by Adler, starring Aaron Keenan and John Patrick Cohen.

[JPC]

Casey.

[Adol]

Tony did the editing. Memory Paris and the music logo created by Emily Cardamus and Emily Napurus. Hey there Cattas and Gories. If you like that, you're gonna love this week's Patreon. It's the return of Jep Ritty with Janet Varney. You can listen to that plus our entire back [e-mail] HeyRiddleriddle by joining the clue crew for $5 a month or start your 7 day free trial or the review crew for $8 a month. Plus you get those ad free episodes. See you there.

[JPC]

That was a Headgum podcast.

[Adol]

Are you feeling stuck in your career or lacking employment? At the moment experiencing symptoms of job dissatisfaction? You might be suffering from a common condition known as career stagnation. But don't worry, there's a solution. Monster.com Monster.com offers a comprehensive suite of career boosting tools designed just for you. Our free resume review and AI interview prep tool will help you stand out from the crowd. Need more guidance? Dive into our career advice articles for expert tips and insights. And don't forget to check out our salary tools to ensure you're getting paid what you're worth. Side effects may include a new job, increased confidence and a brighter future. Consult monster.com today and take the first step towards your new career. Ready for your next job opportunity? Visit monster.com now.