#365: BeaverPeltFinder.com

Summary

Podcast Summary: Hey Riddle Riddle Episode #365: BeaverPeltFinder.com

Release Date: July 16, 2025

---

Introduction

In Episode #365 of Hey Riddle Riddle, hosted by Adal Rifai, Erin Keif, and John Patrick Coan, the trio delves into a whimsical exploration of beaver pelts and their unexpected significance in everyday life. While maintaining their signature humor and improvisational flair, the hosts navigate through humorous dialogues, character impersonations, and engaging riddles that keep listeners entertained from start to finish.

---

BeaverPeltFinder.com: The Central Theme

The episode kicks off with a playful discussion about BeaverPeltFinder.com, a fictional website seemingly dedicated to finding beaver pelts. The hosts humorously debate the absurdity and practicality of such a site.

• Aaron Keefe (00:10): "That's where Audible changes everything. With over a million audiobooks and Audible originals, there's a story waiting to spark anyone's imagination."

• JPC (01:36): "I'm going to save your time, man. It's going to be beaver pelt. I'm going to save us a lot of money. It's going to be beaver pelt."

Adal Shokira introduces a personality quiz segment, revealing humorous and nonsensical personality types like "LOL420 abomination" and "BFF Lilas," adding to the light-hearted tone of the episode.

Imaginative Character Interactions

The hosts engage in creative improvisational scenes, portraying exaggerated characters that enhance the comedic element of the show.

• Adal Shokira (06:10): "There's one that doesn't chew anything, but he doesn't want to come out."

• Aaron Keefe (11:07): "The spoon is not an airplane. Spoon is a spoon."

These exchanges showcase the hosts' ability to think on their feet, blending absurdity with quick wit.

---

Riddle Segment: Slippery Challenges

Midway through the episode, the hosts transition to their beloved riddle segment, presenting the audience with intriguing puzzles that require both logical and creative thinking.

1. Slender Man Riddle (15:00):

   • Riddle: "A man appears in hundreds of family photos. He is not closely related to anyone else in the photo. Almost all the families don't even know his name."

   • Solution: The man is identified humorously as Santa Claus, surprising listeners by subverting the expected answer of Slender Man.

   • Aaron Keefe (15:24): "That's Billie Holiday."

   • Adal Shokira (15:46): "The answer is, it was that year where everyone was like, I'm suddenly gluten intolerant, but there's no such thing as gluten intolerance."

2. Coffee Spill Riddle (21:00):

   • Riddle: "A man spills his coffee while working. He is fired on the spot, though nothing was stained and no technology was damaged."

   • Solution: The man was a barista serving the President on Air Force One, turning an ordinary spill into a high-stakes scenario.

   • JPC (21:39): "He's a flight attendant? And he spilled the coffee on the President of the United States of America."

These riddles not only challenge the listeners but also provide comedic relief through unexpected twists and character involvement.

---

Improvisational Skits: From Flight Attendants to Astronauts

The episode is peppered with engaging improvisational skits where the hosts embody various characters, enhancing the entertainment value.

• Flight Attendant Scenario (22:00 - 23:07):

  • JPC plays a nervous flight attendant named Nick, interacting with Aaron as the President. The skit humorously blends formal protocols with absurd behaviors.

  • JPC (22:08): "I'm Nick. I'm gonna be taking care of you today."

  • Aaron Keefe (22:39): "My arm. My arm."

• Space Odyssey Dialogue (30:00 - 32:00):

  • Adel Shokira portrays an astronaut communicating with mission control, while JPC acts as a drunken computer operator, leading to a chaotic and hilarious exchange.

  • Adel Shokira (30:41): "Houston, this is Calypso 48. We are orbiting Venus. We're seeing some anomalies."

  • JPC (32:09): "Tell my commies. My wife talks."

These skits demonstrate the hosts' versatility and ability to create vivid, humorous narratives on the fly.

---

Personal Anecdotes and Reflections

Throughout the episode, Aaron Keefe shares personal stories, adding a layer of authenticity and relatability to the show.

• Mattress Love (39:00 - 41:30):

  • Aaron expresses his affection for his Helix Sleep midnight luxe mattress, highlighting its impact on his sleep quality.

  • Aaron Keefe (40:08): "I had such a bad mattress before my Helix sleep. And I could not believe how much the Helix sleep improved. Like my pain when I woke up and my quality of sleep. I love it so much."

Erin and JPC reciprocate by sharing their own experiences, fostering a sense of camaraderie among the hosts.

---

Final Riddles and Conclusions

As the episode winds down, the hosts present additional riddles and wrap up with promotional segments for their upcoming tours and shows.

• Eighteenth Riddle (48:29):

  • Riddle: "There is a beloved Italian restaurant with excellent reviews. However, one day, a lot of people dining at this restaurant became sick. Although all the meals were in order and prepared as usual."
  • Solution: The riddle hints at a historical or environmental factor affecting the diners, leading to humorous or unexpected answers.

• Promotion Segment (74:00 - 76:53):

  • The hosts promote their live shows, tours, and Patreon content, encouraging listeners to engage further with their content.

  • Adal Shokira (74:08): "I'm gonna plug and promote the hey Riddle Riddle tour. Go to heyriddleriddle.com/live."

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Notable Quotes

• JPC (02:20): "Interesting. Wow. I think this thing really works."
• Adal Shokira (09:58): "I'm almost 100% certain you one time said, I hope my house burns down because then I can just buy all new stuff."
• Aaron Keefe (21:22): "Nothing was stained. He works at a coffee shop."

---

Conclusion

Episode #365 of Hey Riddle Riddle masterfully blends humor, improvisation, and engaging riddles to create an entertaining listening experience. The hosts' chemistry and quick wit ensure that listeners are both amused and mentally stimulated throughout the episode. Whether tackling the absurdity of BeaverPeltFinder.com or solving intricate riddles, Adal, Erin, and JPC deliver another memorable installment that underscores why they're among Chicago's most beloved improvisers.

For more bonus content and weekly episodes, listeners are encouraged to join the Clue Crew on Patreon at Patreon.com/heyriddleriddle.

Transcript

[Aaron Keefe]

This is a headgum podcast. Everyone knows that feeling. Wanting to experience more stories, but struggling.

[JPC]

To find the time.

[Aaron Keefe]

That's where Audible changes everything. With over a million audiobooks and Audible originals, there's a story waiting to spark anyone's imagination.

[JPC]

Take the Paris Apartment by Lucy Foley.

[Aaron Keefe]

The gripping psychological thriller that's keeping listeners on the edge of their seats. Imagine unraveling its mysteries during your morning commute or losing yourself in its twists and turns while doing household chores. That's the magic of Audible. It transforms daily routines into opportunities for thrilling discoveries.

[JPC]

The best part?

[Aaron Keefe]

Members get access to thousands of included titles with new content added regularly. From bestsellers to hidden gems, every genre imaginable is at their fingertips. And with one easy to use app, switching between favorites or discovering new passions has never been simpler. There's more to imagine when you listen. Start a free 30 day Audible trial and get your first audiobook free at.

[JPC]

Audible.Com wondery that's audible. The Doctor was the mother. He stood on a block of ice. Both of them were goldfish. It was the cannon of an airplane. He stabbed him with an ice. And the horse's name. Ride.

[Adel Shokira]

Okay, Aaron, I'm going to say a word and you respond with whatever word comes to mind. Candy.

[Aaron Keefe]

Candy.

[Adel Shokira]

Book. Book. Sharp.

[Aaron Keefe]

Sharp.

[Adel Shokira]

Okay, jpc. I'm going to say some words. I want you to respond.

[JPC]

I'm going to save your time, man. It's going to be beaver pelt. I'm going to save you time. I'm going to save us a lot of money. It's going to be beaver pelt. Okay, because that's all I'm thinking about nowadays.

[Adel Shokira]

And the results are in. Aaron, you are a INFP. JPC. You are a LOL420 abomination. BFF Lilas.

[JPC]

Interesting. Wow. I think this thing really works.

[Aaron Keefe]

JPC, I gotta know your personality breakdown. Do you know if you're what your Myers Briggs?

[JPC]

50%. Beaver. 50%. Pelt.

[Aaron Keefe]

50%.

[JPC]

There's a sale on beaver pelts and it's happening in a store near you.

[Aaron Keefe]

Hi, we're. Hey, Riddle. Riddle.

[JPC]

We're Beaverpelts.

[Aaron Keefe]

Whatever this is.

[JPC]

Beaverfinder.com.

[Adel Shokira]

Don'T go. Wait, hold on. Don't go there.

[JPC]

Go to beaverpeltfinder.com, put in your zip code, put in your address and your cat's birthday.

[Adel Shokira]

Is that the Buc ee's theme song?

[JPC]

Uh huh.

[Aaron Keefe]

I think we gotta give you personality quizzes. I wanna know what your iq.

[JPC]

Didn't we do this? Didn't we do this on a I.

[Aaron Keefe]

Don'T think you honed it in.

[Adel Shokira]

We did some Patreons, I think.

[JPC]

Where it was early on we did.

[Adel Shokira]

Sex in the City. Are you.

[Aaron Keefe]

Which friends cast which Sex and the City are you.

[Adel Shokira]

I'm the reboot.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, of course.

[JPC]

I'm an N O Y S B. I believe.

[Adel Shokira]

What was it?

[JPC]

N O Y S B.

[Aaron Keefe]

No, you fucking.

[JPC]

None of your fucking business, Aaron.

[Adel Shokira]

Business?

[JPC]

None of your fucking business.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'll get to the bottom of it. I know your wife. I have your wife's phone number. Need I remember?

[JPC]

How do you know that?

[Aaron Keefe]

Well, I guess. Beverly. Shooba doo.

[JPC]

Shoobidoo. Shoobadoo.

[Aaron Keefe]

Beaverpeltfighter.com no ADOL.

[Adel Shokira]

Yes.

[Aaron Keefe]

We're still in person.

[Adel Shokira]

I know. I know.

[Aaron Keefe]

Can you believe it?

[JPC]

We're still having fun.

[Adel Shokira]

But it's weird.

[Aaron Keefe]

We're still having fun and you're still the one. We harmonized.

[Adel Shokira]

Did we?

[Aaron Keefe]

I don't know.

[JPC]

I'm in the works to sell beaverpeltfinder.com to Zillow so that you can find beaver pelts while you're finding a home as well.

[Adel Shokira]

Smart.

[Aaron Keefe]

I don't. I think I would double check to see if my home was on there. So I know not to buy that home. But I think that's the only thing I would use for your website for.

[JPC]

If you ever have clicked accept when a software updates your home is on Beaver Pelt Find. No, I bought all the data for $1. I went to $1data.com. I typed in beaverpeltfinder.com into one data dollardata.com to buy the Beaver Pelt Finder website.

[Aaron Keefe]

And now I'm using Tongue Twister Unlocked.

[Adel Shokira]

Aaron, you've been in LA for a few years. JPC has gone what I call URL crazy.

[Aaron Keefe]

He's buying all the URLs.

[Adel Shokira]

He started a business called GoMommy.

[JPC]

Can that be a. Like a. Like a play on girl crazy? Like I've gone URL crazy like girl girl minus the G crazy.

[Adel Shokira]

Like instead of TRL crazy. Boys went crazy for Carson Daly.

[JPC]

They loved Carson Daly. And they still do.

[Aaron Keefe]

Do they?

[JPC]

They grew up. Now it's women who love Carson Daley.

[Adel Shokira]

Oh, wwcd.

[JPC]

It's time to put aside childish things. I'm a woman and I love Carson Daly.

[Aaron Keefe]

Anyway, since we're in person, you'll be able to hear when I slap JPC right across the face. Ooh. It won't just be a sound effect that Casey adds in post.

[JPC]

It will not be a sound effect that Casey Adds in post, it'll be a real slap. And it'll sound distinctly different from when I slap a brand new beaver pelt on the table.

[Aaron Keefe]

If I find out that you're being sponsored by big beaver pelts, I'm gonna freak.

[JPC]

No, these are not big beaver pelts. These are modest sized beaver pelts for modest sized monkey peas. Are you sick of being advertised beaver pelts that don't even fit? Cause they're too big. Because they come from big dead beavers.

[Aaron Keefe]

I know a fact about beavers.

[JPC]

Interesting.

[Aaron Keefe]

I know a fact about their teeth. Oh, their teeth grow 25ft in a lifetime. But since they're constantly chewing on things that make their teeth go down.

[JPC]

Damn.

[Adel Shokira]

There's one that doesn't chew anything, but he doesn't want to come out.

[Aaron Keefe]

No, but he also. Everyone's always like that smile. Wow, wow, wow. He's on stilts.

[Adel Shokira]

He's always holding open a big book in front of his face and they're.

[JPC]

Like, come on, Hollywood. Do you have this beaver's number?

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah.

[JPC]

Wow, that's crazy. That's a lot of tastes.

[Aaron Keefe]

Isn't that crazy?

[Adel Shokira]

I know a factoid, which is that beaver, I want to say anal glands are used in a lot of flavor.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Adel Shokira]

A lot of beverage flavoring comes from beaver anus.

[Aaron Keefe]

Don't fuck with me, I'm gullible.

[JPC]

He's not wrong about that. It's like that flavor of Gatorade, I believe.

[Adel Shokira]

Yeah, that flavor of Gatorade has beaver anus in it.

[Aaron Keefe]

You wanna see me throw out blood? This is your apartment. You gotta clean up blood all over your apartment.

[JPC]

Idiot. If you look at the ingredients on something and it says like natural flavors, like derived from natural flavors. Beaver anus is one of those natural flavors.

[Adel Shokira]

And this hearkens back to Lewis and Clark.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, God.

[Adel Shokira]

When Lewis and Clark were on their sort of expeditions exploring the Louisiana Purchase, one of them accidentally tongue to beaver's asshole. And they were like, oh, my God. Back for a second.

[JPC]

Imagine being the first guy who's like, hell of an aftertaste. But there's lines forming. If we could solve the aftertaste. We're all waiting our turn. There's something to it.

[Aaron Keefe]

Water, sugar, citric acid, salt, calcium lactate, natural flavor.

[Adel Shokira]

Yeah, Aaron, read that again. But as Vincent d' Onofrio for Men in Black.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, I don't know how to do that.

[JPC]

Water, water, sugar.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, there you go. I'm scared. Can he?

[JPC]

Being the guy that tastes a beaver's asshole. And it's like, tastes like the first one. Yeah. He tastes like vanilla. And he's like, whoa, everybody, you gotta try beaver asshole. And people are like, no way. And he's like, try it, try it, try it. And then they do try it. And they're like, it tastes like asshole. And he's like, huh? And he like looks at the beaver he tasted and he's like, sees it like munching on a vanilla root. And he's like, nah, come on.

[Adel Shokira]

You tricked me. Come on.

[Aaron Keefe]

Is beaver smoking a cigarette?

[JPC]

Ye. Ah, well, I thought cum tasted like pineapple.

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay, the second you get it tastes like schnozberry. The second we get back in person, we get fucking disgusting is what I'm learning now. Yes.

[Adel Shokira]

Adol previously, you mentioned you were going to slap jpc. And I need to warn you again, you've been in an I'll get all the diseases. You're going to get all the diseases, trust me. And also, he's sort of like a shadow of colossus where you slap him and you're like, that didn't do anything. And you slap him again. That didn't do anything. You backhand him. You're like, something's going on. You have to find his weakness. You have to kind of poke and pull.

[Aaron Keefe]

What's your Achilles heel?

[JPC]

Oh, you mean like slap? I thought we were talking about slapping me, which is subtle looking ass play. Yeah, exactly like that. A subtle, subtle lick.

[Aaron Keefe]

What's your Achilles heel, jpc? How can we hurt you?

[JPC]

I guess you could kill my family. Huh.

[Adel Shokira]

Wait, this might be evidence in court window. Also, this feels like a trick.

[JPC]

This. This feels like this is Huck Finn with the paint.

[Adel Shokira]

We set him free. Yeah. Where he's like, oh, don't kill my family.

[JPC]

Well, I just got one to do list today and it's killed my family.

[Aaron Keefe]

But this is hug fit with the pain.

[Adel Shokira]

And then we do. Someone does that and he's like, I'm free. And he does the thing where he jumps in the air and kicks his heels together.

[Aaron Keefe]

That's so fucking funny.

[JPC]

Yeah, I know.

[Adel Shokira]

Next town.

[JPC]

You know, people deal with trauma in different ways. There's gotta be a part of me. I am a silver lining guy. So I think that there probably would be a small part of me where if Eren did kill my whole family, where I'd be like, well, I kind of. Now I get to do whatever.

[Aaron Keefe]

Like think of all the video games you can play.

[JPC]

Yeah, it would have to honestly to not think about the other.

[Adel Shokira]

I'm almost 100% certain you one time said, I hope my house burns down because then I can just buy all new stuff.

[JPC]

Yeah, that would be nice.

[Adel Shokira]

I'm pretty sure you said that once.

[JPC]

Yeah, I'm more sentimental, I would say, about my family than I am about my house.

[Aaron Keefe]

How much more?

[Adel Shokira]

But still to say I hope my house burns down. Well, so I can buy all new stuff.

[JPC]

I have insurance on all of that.

[Aaron Keefe]

Reiselles lateral thinking problem.

[Adel Shokira]

We are.

[JPC]

Hey, Riddle. Riddle. Hey. This is hey Riddle Riddle. It's a podcast in two acts. In the first act, we do 10 minutes of bullshit and then some riddles. I'm JPC, that's Aaron Keefe, and that's Adel Shokira. 5.

[Aaron Keefe]

Are you guys happy to see me in person? I sort of came in and everyone sort of went, hey, Erin came in.

[JPC]

She said, you just walked from the train. You said I stink or I smell gross.

[Aaron Keefe]

Not bad. Yeah. You said I. I smell.

[JPC]

Okay, you smell. I said you stink or you smell gross. Those were maybe not picture perfect, right?

[Aaron Keefe]

No, but I do. But I did stink and I do smell good.

[JPC]

And then she immediately went in for a hug. She said I stink and then immediately went in for the hug. What's that?

[Aaron Keefe]

It was like a warning. It's like when you're feeding a child and you go, here comes the airplane. You don't say, here comes the airplane. And then you don't put a spoon near them.

[JPC]

The spoon is not an airplane. Spoon is a spoon.

[Adel Shokira]

She's a child, went to give us a hug and said, here comes the airplane. And then she smashed into my larynx.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, your larynx, not your larynx.

[Adel Shokira]

Larynx, yeah.

[JPC]

Which is a small cat.

[Adel Shokira]

Yeah, bobcat, Same thing. Aaron, I was thrilled to see you. Here's the thing. You have to understand, it is we got here at like 9:45am I am used to waking up at 9:50am rolling out of bed, akin to falling, crawling on my hands and knees into my.

[Aaron Keefe]

Studio and starting and moaning, screaming and agony.

[Adel Shokira]

To get up at 8:30 to shower, to put on real clothes, to I'm.

[Aaron Keefe]

Sorry we did this to you.

[Adel Shokira]

I know. Thank you.

[JPC]

I sent out texts at about 8:50 and I said we were trying to be here by 10. We're gonna get coffee and stuff for people. And I said, pick you up at 9:20. And part of me was like, you know that scene in Good Will Hunting when he's like, every day I show up and I hope that you're not. I was like, I hope he is still sleeping. But then when he answered and he's like, 9:20 sounds great, I was like a little bit disappointed, you know?

[Adel Shokira]

Yeah. Well, one day you'll see me in Paris at a cafe. It'll be like the end of the third Batman and I'll raise my cup of coffee to you different than Affleck. And you'll be dating.

[Aaron Keefe]

It'll be 7A Dan Hathaway. You're an early riser. You've changed so much. Yeah, like, see, I would rather adel you feel familiar than for you to evolve in any sort of way. I want you to sort of stay the same. So I find comfort in that. I don't want you to sort of change in any sort of way.

[JPC]

Of course.

[Aaron Keefe]

I love ya.

[Adel Shokira]

Yeah, I love. Yeah, I love ya.

[Aaron Keefe]

No, I don't believe that at all. But I do think that's how my sisters feel about me. They want me to be the same person I was when I was 11.

[JPC]

Oh, that's sad.

[Aaron Keefe]

Well, they just assume.

[JPC]

But for you, Aaron, 11 was objectively better.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, I was very wise. I was Aaron.

[Adel Shokira]

Three things, three differences between 11 year old Aaron and nowadays Aaron. 1.

[Aaron Keefe]

Blonde hair.

[Adel Shokira]

1.

[JPC]

Yeah, okay.

[Aaron Keefe]

Way less confidence now.

[Adel Shokira]

2.

[JPC]

And math, I mean, you were.

[Aaron Keefe]

I knew way more math.

[JPC]

Yeah. Was this before you electrocuted yourself and lost your math?

[Aaron Keefe]

That would have been post.

[JPC]

Nevermind.

[Aaron Keefe]

That was, I think third grade. It would have been third or fourth grade. I was in the same classroom both those years. So I don't know which one it was.

[Adel Shokira]

I don't know if we've asked you this. What's the sound you made when you were electrocuted?

[Aaron Keefe]

Was it like, it was like.

[JPC]

Sounds like you got sucked into the outlet.

[Aaron Keefe]

Sounds like probably nothing.

[JPC]

Sounds like there's another error in the outlet world.

[Aaron Keefe]

I literally felt a pop, guys, in the left part of my brain. Like it literally felt like a burst. Like right, like literally right here.

[JPC]

I don't know. I wonder if you can feel your brain burst.

[Aaron Keefe]

I didn't think you could. It's a sensation I have not had before or since. It felt like a little pop. It wasn't like right at the top of it. It was like a little ways in.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Aaron Keefe]

And that episode was the first episode that Molly's boyfriend Jimmy listened to and.

[Adel Shokira]

He was like, oh, did you feel like a trickle? Like a gusher got popped in your head or something?

[Aaron Keefe]

No, I didn't feel any. Like there wasn't. Other than feeling a little. Like I had a headache and felt a little woozy. There wasn't any sensation post that. But it was it. Literally. That's the only way I can describe it. I felt it go from my finger all the way up my right arm, like neck and then pop.

[JPC]

And it popped. Do you think that your brain is like a boat where it starts to sink and they're like flood chambers 3, 4 and 5. And they were going over the non essential chambers and they're like, we can lose math and boyfriend's names. And then we have like, aaron can't do it. And she thinks his name is Zorp.

[Aaron Keefe]

That's very ironic.

[Adel Shokira]

They're like, let's flood cereal jingles. And Aaron's like, no, not cereal jingles. No, please.

[Aaron Keefe]

Anything else? Yeah, whatever it took was the most important part. Cause I really did feel like my brain. It was different after.

[JPC]

No, the most important part. That's subjective. Eren, I think that you are the Eren before us now. So we have kept the most important part. Yeah, the most important part of human beings.

[Aaron Keefe]

Very funny.

[Adel Shokira]

Well, here's what's not funny, is that we simply must do riddles.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm ready.

[JPC]

I love doing riddles. It's like one of my favorite jobs.

[Adel Shokira]

A man appears in hundreds of family photos. He is not closely related to anyone else in the photo.

[Aaron Keefe]

I know this.

[Adel Shokira]

Almost all the families don't even know his name.

[JPC]

Clippy.

[Adel Shokira]

Nevertheless, they still keep the photos and frames and scrapbooks. He is not hidden in any way. And it is in fact the central.

[Aaron Keefe]

Element of these photos. Yes. Hear those sleigh bells jingling ring ting tingling.

[Adel Shokira]

That's right. It's Billie Holiday.

[JPC]

This man is the Slender Man.

[Aaron Keefe]

He's in all your photos.

[JPC]

Uh huh. Me and the Slender man, arm around his shoulder.

[Aaron Keefe]

He went to summer camp with the Slenderman.

[JPC]

Slenderman? Yeah. His name's Greg. Solid dude.

[Adel Shokira]

Back then he was just svelte man.

[JPC]

Right. He gets a bad rap because he told three kids to go kill somebody with hammers or whatever. But he's a solid dude. Yeah, he never killed nobody with hammers.

[Aaron Keefe]

He was at your wedding.

[JPC]

He was at my wedding.

[Aaron Keefe]

Santy Claus.

[Adel Shokira]

Aaron, you're correct. It's Santa Claus. Specifically, a mall Santa.

[Aaron Keefe]

A mall Santa?

[Adel Shokira]

Just because we say nobody knows his name?

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'd like to see a scene.

[Adel Shokira]

Yeah.

[Aaron Keefe]

Adol, you are a mall Santa. And JPC is a kid that has been here at least four or five times this season. And you think enough is enough. Ho ho, ho.

[Adel Shokira]

Come on up. Yeah.

[JPC]

Not on my lap.

[Adel Shokira]

But we have a little side chick. Do you remember Me, I remember all boys and girls.

[JPC]

Okay, what did I ask for last time?

[Adel Shokira]

Oh, you. What do you think you asked for last time? Probably a GI Joe.

[JPC]

I know what I asked for last time. And I know the closet where my parents keep the presents, and it's not there.

[Adel Shokira]

Okay, Did a. Was it a.

[JPC]

So I've been body shaming my dad all day to get him to come back to the mall to buy a new suit.

[Aaron Keefe]

Hands over to the dad. And the dad's looking at. At his reflection and sort of pulling at his clothes because they all of a sudden feel like they fit wrong.

[JPC]

He didn't want to bring me back to do Santa again, but now I am back here.

[Adel Shokira]

Oh, you're an intense little boy.

[JPC]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Adel Shokira]

Yeah, I am.

[JPC]

Okay, you're the same guy, right? Santa's always Santa Smell like Pall Malls and old whiskey. Pall Malls?

[Adel Shokira]

You think I smoke Pall Balls?

[JPC]

I don't know what you.

[Adel Shokira]

Your dude. Your Dude's pulling in 350 a day for mall santing, and you think I smoke Palmols?

[JPC]

Three hundred and fifty a day?

[Adel Shokira]

Oh, yeah.

[JPC]

Okay, well, then the tail.

[Adel Shokira]

The moms. Do you know how many single moms. Hey, man, want to come sit on Santa's lap?

[Aaron Keefe]

Pants to a mom, and she's adjusting her clothes, but sort of in like a confident, I can't wait to see him kind of way.

[JPC]

Hey, man, the. The next two words out of your mouth better be switched to. And then for you, Jeffrey. So that's five words. Okay, I want to switch to.

[Adel Shokira]

Oh, I have two words for you. Get fucked.

[JPC]

Oh, I'm gonna get fucked.

[Adel Shokira]

Oh, yeah.

[JPC]

Maybe I pay Mrs. Closet visit.

[Adel Shokira]

Oh, yeah? Yeah, we're together.

[Aaron Keefe]

Well, I don't know.

[Adel Shokira]

Do you think I'm with her?

[JPC]

I haven't really learned your mythology.

[Adel Shokira]

She doesn't leave the house. She's a hermit.

[JPC]

How could I?

[Adel Shokira]

We haven't slept in the same room in 400 years.

[JPC]

Maybe I go out to the parking lot. Oh, find one of your reindeer. Oh, cook him up and eat him.

[Adel Shokira]

You're gonna eat and cook a Toyota Tercel? Because that's what I came here wrong. You think I have reindeer?

[JPC]

You just told me to make a model of your car, dumbass sold them for me.

[Adel Shokira]

Sold the deers for me. Hold on. Is that a threat?

[JPC]

Yeah, it's a threat.

[Adel Shokira]

Is that a threat?

[JPC]

If I don't get.

[Adel Shokira]

Hey, Toby. Toby, ho, ho, ho.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yo, what's up?

[Adel Shokira]

Hey, I got a kid threatening me. He knows to make him out of.

[Aaron Keefe]

My Car you my mom last night. So yeah, I guess you're on your own.

[Adel Shokira]

Well, that bonds us, right? I told you dude.

[Aaron Keefe]

We were getting a beer. You're asking about my.

[Adel Shokira]

Don't tell anyone about that.

[JPC]

How old's Toby?

[Aaron Keefe]

Seventeen.

[JPC]

Well.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh.

[Adel Shokira]

Oh boy. Oh boy.

[Aaron Keefe]

He wasn't sexual. He was just bottom.

[Adel Shokira]

Oh my God. Don't say it's non sexual.

[Aaron Keefe]

It wasn't. He fucked him.

[Adel Shokira]

Don't say it's non sexual.

[JPC]

I think it's the fear thing, not this. I don't think Toby.

[Adel Shokira]

Well, we don't even. We shouldn't even say.

[Aaron Keefe]

We were throwing rocks at the mall side and then he fucked my mom.

[Adel Shokira]

Oh, I'm ruined.

[JPC]

There's nothing.

[Aaron Keefe]

It's not weird. He just fucked my mom.

[JPC]

Ruined. Toby, nobody's. Nobody's saying that there's anything wrong with that.

[Adel Shokira]

And real quick, a lot of kids ask. I had nothing to do with those Christmas time Kevin Spacey videos. Know when he dressed up like the guy from. You know how every.

[Aaron Keefe]

I talk about this so much.

[JPC]

I'm.

[Adel Shokira]

I'm sorry, I didn't.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm talk about it a lot for somebody I associate with you because you talk so much.

[Adel Shokira]

Don't, Don't.

[JPC]

Look, you gave a. Okay, you gave a kid beer. You pull 350 a week. That means in two weeks you can buy me a switch package. Switch two.

[Adel Shokira]

Switch two. Well, no, because they're all.

[Aaron Keefe]

Get that kid a switch two or I tell everybody about the people beer and the mom that's.

[Adel Shokira]

I'd have to buy it on like Makari for like 675.

[JPC]

Steal it.

[Aaron Keefe]

You drive a nice car.

[JPC]

He drives a Toyota. I don't know if you know anything about cars, Toby, but that's not a nice car. That's a car they haven't made in 30 years.

[Adel Shokira]

Cuz they got it right the first time. No one.

[Aaron Keefe]

My mom. You man, you're a loser.

[JPC]

She's a woman with agency, Toby. I mean, nobody forced her to.

[Adel Shokira]

Well, don't say that.

[JPC]

Say nobody did.

[Adel Shokira]

Listen, I'm going to head out. Takes out a pack of Palm.

[Aaron Keefe]

Listen, you can't smoke here.

[Adel Shokira]

Hey everyone. Kids, everyone gets.

[JPC]

Say I'm going to head out.

[Adel Shokira]

Let's do a big group photo. Let's do a big group one.

[Aaron Keefe]

All the kids are sort of adjusting their clothes with the group photo. Trying.

[Adel Shokira]

I'm a big group one.

[JPC]

I've been getting to work on all these in line.

[Aaron Keefe]

I know exactly kids are going like this.

[JPC]

Get what I want.

[Adel Shokira]

Oh no, you didn't want to live.

[Aaron Keefe]

In that another 40 minutes. ADOL.

[JPC]

I mean, I could have 17. Aaron saying 17 completely fucks ADOL.

[Aaron Keefe]

Sorry. ADOL. It's fake, though.

[JPC]

So that's fake.

[Adel Shokira]

Oh, you shouldn't have to say that.

[JPC]

Please.

[Adel Shokira]

Ah, boy. Here's our next riddle.

[JPC]

Yes, please.

[Adel Shokira]

A man spills his coffee while working. He is fired on the spot, though nothing was stained and no technology was damaged.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, no technology was damaged. I was going to say NASA.

[Adel Shokira]

Oh, like, he spells it on the control board.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah. And then I also. Maybe I was like. Or he's one of those guys who restores paintings.

[Adel Shokira]

Ooh.

[Aaron Keefe]

But you ruined it.

[JPC]

At the end of it, you ruined it by saying no technology.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, the coffee was. He's a barista, and his coffee is for a very important person.

[Adel Shokira]

That's a good guess, but not correct.

[JPC]

Is he a flight attendant? And he spilled the coffee on the President of the United States of America. It's Air Force One.

[Aaron Keefe]

The President of the United States of America.

[Adel Shokira]

No, but I like that Amanda scene.

[JPC]

Fuck.

[Aaron Keefe]

Fuck.

[Adel Shokira]

Aaron, you are. Aaron, you are, of course, our 50th president.

[Aaron Keefe]

Great.

[Adel Shokira]

You are on Air Force One. And JPC, you are a flight attendant working. This is your first time working Air Force One.

[Aaron Keefe]

So I'm the Hawk to a girl.

[Adel Shokira]

Yeah. Well, we've already said.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Aaron Keefe]

No, no, no. I'll be a different kind of person.

[Adel Shokira]

And jpc, you're a flight attendant. First day working on Air Force One.

[JPC]

Great.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, I think we should wait till we're back in the Situation Room to talk about that, but if we can.

[JPC]

Sorry. Very good. Seat belts. Kidding, kidding. It's Air Force One. Do what you want. I'm Nick. I'm gonna be taking care of you today.

[Aaron Keefe]

My arm. My arm.

[JPC]

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. You're in the way of the cart. Cart's got all the beverages. Hey, I'm Nick. If this is your first time playing with us. I'm kidding. God. I'm kidding. But seriously, though, seatbelts for when we take off. And as soon as we get in the air, you can do whatever you want.

[Aaron Keefe]

Nick, are you wearing a Spice Girls T shirt? That's not the uniform.

[JPC]

This is a Spice Girls T shirt. Yes. This was in the lost and found on the plane today because my clothes got sucked into the engine.

[Adel Shokira]

Oh. Yeah.

[JPC]

I was drying them because I had spilled all kinds of water on them, so I was drying them.

[Aaron Keefe]

They fixed the engine after that happened. Right?

[JPC]

You told someone you can suck anything into these engines? These are. Madam President, you are in good hands. Cause you can suck anything into these things.

[Aaron Keefe]

But somebody checked out the engines after.

[JPC]

Madam President. Yes, of course.

[Aaron Keefe]

We're going to land on.

[JPC]

Someone has checked out the engines. Seat belts.

[Adel Shokira]

Very good, ma'. Am.

[JPC]

I didn't get your name.

[Adel Shokira]

I'm Secretary of Defense Logan Paul.

[JPC]

I am Nick. It is so nice to meet you, Nick.

[Aaron Keefe]

You smell so much like gasoline and Axe body spray. It is overwhelmingly.

[JPC]

I think that was on this T shirt. I actually Logan, I think this might be one of yours. Mr. Paul. Thank you so much, Madam Secretary.

[Adel Shokira]

No, I'm.

[JPC]

Oh no. Secretary. Skimmy bin.

[Aaron Keefe]

Nick.

[JPC]

Yes, ma'. Am.

[Aaron Keefe]

Sounds like you're pretty nervous. And I try to be patient with.

[JPC]

Thank you so much. Cause I'm brand new. This is my first day.

[Aaron Keefe]

What is your official title here on Air Force One?

[JPC]

I am the Secretary of Defense. Oh no. I just heard that one from somewhere else.

[Adel Shokira]

Yeah, me. I said it.

[Aaron Keefe]

He said it.

[JPC]

That's it. That's Mr. Paul. Madam Secretary. It's not me. I am a. Oof. Don't say stewardess. Nick. Don't say stewardess. Oh boy. And now I've lost what I am.

[Adel Shokira]

He's sort of taking out a stewardess.

[JPC]

But new. Old times they called me stewardess. New itus. But Madam President.

[Aaron Keefe]

Logan, please don't joke.

[JPC]

If you need to.

[Adel Shokira]

Huh?

[JPC]

Suck me, fuck me. Do whatever you need to. You can.

[Aaron Keefe]

Nick.

[JPC]

Cause I don't tell.

[Aaron Keefe]

You sound like a great flight attendant.

[JPC]

I am. Seatbelts.

[Aaron Keefe]

Can't you hear that word?

[JPC]

Flight attendant. That's what I am. And I can attend your every need.

[Aaron Keefe]

The press part of the plane. They sort of have a more traditional flight. Maybe get them to stop.

[JPC]

I was actually told I had to leave the part of the plane where you can press things that might alter the plane because I was in there. What's that?

[Aaron Keefe]

The cockpit, ma'.

[Adel Shokira]

Am.

[JPC]

Whatever you need.

[Adel Shokira]

Phoenix blew up. Phoenix?

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay.

[JPC]

I can cockpit you. I can sock pit ya. I can do whatever you want. I can put the whole pit in my mouth. I can suck it dry.

[Aaron Keefe]

No, Nick, you can't say this to me. I'm the President of the United States. You can't say this type of thing to you.

[JPC]

Okay, wink. But I can do it all. And I won't. And again.

[Aaron Keefe]

Hey. I want you to go talk.

[JPC]

I've been told it's gratis.

[Aaron Keefe]

Go get ginger.

[JPC]

Alex. You don't pay for anything on this planet.

[Aaron Keefe]

I don't? I'm the president.

[JPC]

You want ginger ale?

[Aaron Keefe]

I Don't want anything from you.

[JPC]

I want you to go to a different part of the ginger ale. Oh, my God. Ginger ale. She's on my shirt.

[Aaron Keefe]

That's ginger spice.

[JPC]

And that's what you'd like.

[Aaron Keefe]

No.

[JPC]

So it's like a Christmas candy. Okay, so let me get this right. Logan, Paul, you want a Sprite, you want a ginger candy, Madam President. And then you both want to pit me, Shit me, Skip me, Double dip me.

[Aaron Keefe]

You know what? Yeah.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Adel Shokira]

Okay, I'm gonna open up the lock here, and we're gonna.

[Aaron Keefe]

More seed. More seed.

[JPC]

More, more, more, more.

[Aaron Keefe]

Scene, scene, scene, scene, scene. My food is 13 minutes away.

[Adel Shokira]

Aaron, unbelievably blase about Phoenix being blown up by France.

[Aaron Keefe]

Well, I mean, everybody's great.

[JPC]

Everybody forgets that France has nukes, but France has nukes. France has nukes.

[Aaron Keefe]

Bonjour. Bonjour. Baguette, Bonjour.

[JPC]

We have a nuclear bomb.

[Adel Shokira]

A man spills his coffee while working. He is fired on the spot, though nothing was stained and no technology was damaged.

[JPC]

Nothing was stained. He works at a coffee shop.

[Aaron Keefe]

We were close about him spilling someone's import. Like it's someone else's coffee.

[Adel Shokira]

No, it's his coffee. But maybe all is not as it seems.

[JPC]

He was gonna consume this coffee?

[Adel Shokira]

Yes, he was going to and probably has been.

[JPC]

We'll say he's a coffee doctor.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh. He was trying to pretend that he was in space. And when the gravity. When the coffee didn't float, they went, he's not in space.

[JPC]

Oh, excuse me. One small sip.

[Aaron Keefe]

You guys, I think you gotta. Yeah, we gotta bring back dead stop.

[JPC]

One big loose for two days from 7 11, I'm Neil Armstrong. For 7 11, a big gulp of coffee. 72 ounces of hot coffee in a plastic.

[Aaron Keefe]

The 711 brand candy. And like a hot dog.

[JPC]

This is his coffee. He was intending to ingest it.

[Adel Shokira]

Yes.

[JPC]

And he's been. He's been drinking it.

[Adel Shokira]

He's been drinking it. And who knows how long this little ruse has been going on? But we'll say maybe one of his superiors noticed something and then was like, is this.

[JPC]

Like, is he on the set of a Hollywood movie in continuity?

[Adel Shokira]

No, those cups are empty.

[JPC]

Those cups are empty. Is it something about coffee in him?

[Adel Shokira]

No. No.

[JPC]

Can I tell you something, guys? I get so excited when I'm watching a movie and a TV show and I see someone drinking real coffee from a cup. I get so excited.

[Aaron Keefe]

It might not be real coffee, but real liquid.

[JPC]

Real liquid. A liquid with weight to it. It's so annoying when it's empty and they.

[Aaron Keefe]

Gilmore Girls, they have just empty coffee mugs.

[JPC]

It's empty coffee and like, God, people. I know. It's not like your job is like acting. You're supposed to be emoting to the other person. But if you're just doing like silly jerk off motions with an empty cup in your hand, it's like, come on.

[Aaron Keefe]

Well, gbc, let's see if it translates to audio. Say a line and don't hold anything. And then say a line and hold your coffee or your water if people can hear the difference. And you can say anything you want.

[JPC]

Okay. Madam President, there's been an attack on Phoenix. The French are invading.

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay, so that's he. We are not telling you which one is which yet. And now do the other version of it.

[JPC]

Madam President, he's jerking off.

[Aaron Keefe]

He's jerking you. Drinking. Jerking.

[Adel Shokira]

Aaron, he's drinking coffee.

[Aaron Keefe]

I hate him.

[Adel Shokira]

Oh, my God, Eric.

[Aaron Keefe]

At all. I hate him.

[Adel Shokira]

What if France blew up? The band Phoenix, who are French.

[JPC]

Whoa. An attack on their own.

[Aaron Keefe]

Is that Phoenix?

[Adel Shokira]

Yes.

[JPC]

Yeah, I love that. That's a great album.

[Adel Shokira]

What happened to them?

[JPC]

Wolfgang Amadeus.

[Aaron Keefe]

I saw them a couple years ago.

[JPC]

Oh, yeah. How they do it.

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay. I think they opened for Beck.

[JPC]

Oh, okay. So this is a man. He's spilling his coffee. Aaron, what kind of men drink coffee?

[Aaron Keefe]

So.

[JPC]

But it's not spilling on.

[Aaron Keefe]

Was he not supposed to be drinking coffee?

[Adel Shokira]

He can drink coffee, but I think you're.

[Aaron Keefe]

He can't drink hot coffee. He can't drink cold coffee.

[Adel Shokira]

He can drink whatever temperature. But there's probably something else going on with his coffee.

[Aaron Keefe]

The coffee has something in it.

[JPC]

Is it spiked coffee?

[Adel Shokira]

Yes. Yes, it's spiked. Yep, that's it.

[JPC]

Alcohol in it.

[Aaron Keefe]

How can you tell?

[Adel Shokira]

So spill the coffee.

[Aaron Keefe]

The smell.

[Adel Shokira]

Someone could smell the booze and they fired him.

[Aaron Keefe]

Where was he working?

[JPC]

Let's say if I drink coffee with booze in it, can you not smell the booze on my breath? Do you only smell coffee? You would still smell the booze, right?

[Aaron Keefe]

Also, what booze do you mix with coffee? Oh, I guess Bailey's.

[JPC]

Yeah, Bailey's. Yeah. Or whiskey. People put whiskey in their coffee, too?

[Aaron Keefe]

Whiskey and coffee.

[JPC]

Yeah. I mean, they do it. I don't know.

[Aaron Keefe]

Huh.

[JPC]

Aaron, if you love drinking, you'll kind of put liquor in anything. Yeah, that's coffee I've had. It's been.

[Aaron Keefe]

Wait.

[JPC]

I want to say it's been many years since I've had a drink of the old alcohol, but I've had like, what are they? I mean, I guess Irish coffee is Bailey's, but I've had, like, spiked coffee. I'm not sure if there's a way to say coffee with alcohol in it.

[Adel Shokira]

Yeah.

[JPC]

Nasty stuff.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, I feel like an espresso martini. Is that.

[JPC]

Yeah, kind of.

[Adel Shokira]

But it's probably, like coffee.

[JPC]

It's not that.

[Adel Shokira]

It's probably coffee.

[Aaron Keefe]

Look a little bit different.

[JPC]

Let's drink it in. Espresso martini at nine in the morning. And people are like, huh? Cup of coffee?

[Aaron Keefe]

Like, yeah, I'd like to see a scene. Adel, you are an astronaut in space. And you are checking in with Houston and jpc, you're the guy at the computer and you are clearly drunk. And so Adol, you're getting a little nervous.

[Adel Shokira]

Houston, this is Calypso 48. We are orbiting Venus. We're seeing some anomalies.

[JPC]

Roger, dodger. Ellipso48, this is.

[Adel Shokira]

Sorry, you're breaking up. Can you repeat that?

[JPC]

No, no. Oh, yeah, we shouldn't. I'm looking at the. I'm looking at the screen and everything looks to be about normal. So shoot. Shoot for the moon.

[Adel Shokira]

Houston, I can see you. Your eyes are closed. You got one of those airplane pillows on your neck.

[JPC]

There's probably. There's a delay for. For Venus. So you can see me from when I sleep on last night. But tomorrow night is a new day. I'm wide awake.

[Adel Shokira]

Houston, again, I think we're having some audio issues. It sounds like you're doing some sort of slam poetry or something. You're slurring your station.

[JPC]

Jeff said I go to the bathroom. Cover me five minutes. So I'm covering for Jeff, but I'm looking at the.

[Aaron Keefe]

Are you talking to the astronauts on the phone?

[JPC]

I hope not. I hope not, because.

[Aaron Keefe]

Tell them they're handsomes.

[JPC]

What?

[Aaron Keefe]

Tell them they're handsomes.

[JPC]

I can't say that.

[Aaron Keefe]

Please. They're so handsomes. Tell them.

[JPC]

Calypso44, are you handsome?

[Adel Shokira]

Who?

[JPC]

You're handsome.

[Adel Shokira]

Was that for a different craft in space? This is Calypso 48, Fortnite.

[JPC]

So, landing gear engagement.

[Adel Shokira]

Oh, no. Our landing gear just came out. We are being thrown off. Oh, no. We're being thrown off course.

[JPC]

Okay.

[Adel Shokira]

Oh, we're. We're going towards the sun.

[Aaron Keefe]

Opportunity for growth.

[Adel Shokira]

Please tell my wife I love her. Tell my.

[JPC]

Writing it down.

[Adel Shokira]

Tell Tommy that.

[JPC]

Tell my commies.

[Adel Shokira]

He's gonna be a big basic.

[JPC]

Oh, no.

[Adel Shokira]

You talk. Go ahead.

[JPC]

Tell the commies. My wife talk.

[Aaron Keefe]

Tell the commies.

[JPC]

My wife taught. Tell the mummy cummies.

[Aaron Keefe]

Tell the mummy cummies. What? Speak.

[JPC]

Speak.

[Aaron Keefe]

Tell the mummy cubbies.

[JPC]

What heavy heart.

[Adel Shokira]

Please don't tell my wife. Mummy cummies.

[Aaron Keefe]

Please.

[Adel Shokira]

No, my wife. Tell my wife I love her. Tell my kids. Please don't Mommy come. Oh, please.

[JPC]

And it blew up in the sun.

[Adel Shokira]

Is this recording? Is this. Does this get recorded?

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, yeah, because I can't sing.

[JPC]

No, please sing a song to the people.

[Adel Shokira]

Please don't tell my wife Mommy cummies.

[JPC]

Okay, Calypso for the new. I'm trying to track you in. The location seems to be closer to sun.

[Aaron Keefe]

Hello? So rude.

[JPC]

Rude Rube.

[Aaron Keefe]

That's ridiculous. Do you think we should go back to Chuck E. Cheese's?

[JPC]

I too much think to go to Chuck E. Cheese's with me at a nice time. And I got the keys and I got a little kid puppet. Cause I won't let you in without a puppet. That's the kid.

[Adel Shokira]

Three days later did my husband have any last words?

[Aaron Keefe]

He did.

[JPC]

Sorry we didn't have full of the American flag. We did our best.

[Aaron Keefe]

We did bunch up in a ball.

[JPC]

We bunched up at a ball. And that's not American flag, but it's a pride flag.

[Aaron Keefe]

Happy pride. Mommy comes blow up in space.

[JPC]

Still drunk on a bender. On a Chuck E. Cheese bender.

[Aaron Keefe]

I mean, it's the summer. What? I'm not gonna go to Chuck E. Cheese bender.

[JPC]

It's the fucking summer and I'm not gonna go to Chuck E. Cheese and have a fucking espresso martini.

[Adel Shokira]

Well, summers are known for their breaks. So why don't we take a quick summer break?

[JPC]

Whoa. School's in session.

[Adel Shokira]

And we'll be right back.

[JPC]

1, 2, 3, 4, 8, 2, 3. Oh, adol. I just heard from Aaron. So it heard from Aaron. I heard a news story that referenced Aaron. Apparently it wasn't the thing thing that she was going on. It was an escape from New York thing.

[Adel Shokira]

Oh, Snake Pilsen.

[JPC]

Snake Pilskin Plissken. Pilsen. Snake Pilsen. So it was an escape from New York in a South side Chicago neighborhood. It was Snake Pilsen.

[Adel Shokira]

Oh, sorry. Can I get a. Can I get a Snake Pilsner? Very good, sir.

[JPC]

Well, anyway, so she. The good news is she still got to meet Kurt Russell. So that's pretty cool.

[Adel Shokira]

You know what? I'm not. I'm not even like freaking out because I met a celebrity the other day, Kurt Russell. Because Schedule 35 is removing the stigma around drugs, particularly magic mushrooms with precisely measured out microdoses of psilocybin. And that you can Enjoy daily experiencing all the benefits without frying your brain. So I was cool, calm, and collected around Kurt Russell.

[JPC]

Oh, yeah. I mean, there's no better way to be cool, calm, and collected around an actor like Kurt Russell than having a little psilocybin in your system. Because studies have shown that psilocybin works by creating new neural networks in the brain, which help boost focus, creativity, mood enhancement, and help fight addiction. Four things Kurt Russell must be passionate about, because we all are, to a certain degree.

[Adel Shokira]

Oh, yeah. Well, except for rot kussel.

[JPC]

Don't even get me started on vert kussel. Kind of a direct antagonist to Kurt Russell. Always.

[Adel Shokira]

Yeah, they're always fighting.

[JPC]

Plus, Schedule 35 products come with guides that make microdosing easy to understand. All customers need to be age verified. And once you're age verified, 19 plus in Canada, 21 plus in the United States, they will receive an invite code. And for all of their products to get an invite code, just visit www.schedule35. That's the word schedule. And then 3, 5 the numbers. Did someone say root, Castle, Vertcastle. We actually want people to use Schedule 35, so we actually can't have you in the ad.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, I'm not him.

[JPC]

I'm just at the table behind you.

[Adel Shokira]

Okay, dude.

[JPC]

Okay, then I have. Dude, mind your business, because it's about to be on like Donkey Kong. Okay. For everybody except the guy at the table behind us. Get 15% off with code riddle at schedule 35 co. That's 15% off at schedule 35 co. And. And use code riddle. Except you, sir. You don't get to use the code.

[Adel Shokira]

And of course, Conky dong.

[JPC]

That man's eating with conkidog. Schedule 35co. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace.

[Aaron Keefe]

Hey, guys, I'm opening a new summer camp, and I'm trying to create a website for it. Any advice?

[JPC]

Oh, yeah, I would say nude summer camp would probably not be a good call, because I just think that.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, sorry, I said new summer camp.

[JPC]

New or old, I think people want to wear clothes at summer camp, Aaron.

[Aaron Keefe]

Adam.

[Adel Shokira]

Yeah, I think nude works pretty well. And if you want to promote it, Aaron, I highly recommend Squarespace.

[JPC]

Yes, Aaron, Squarespace is the all in one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online. Whether you're just starting out or scaling your business, Squarespace gives you everything you need to claim your domain, showcase your offerings with a professional website, grow your brand, and get paid all in one place. And as far as I know, no, there are close requirements.

[Adel Shokira]

Oh, but Aaron, you can post videos using Squarespace. You can use those little like blur out options.

[JPC]

I love the blur out options.

[Adel Shokira]

Squarespace makes it easy to showcase everything you want to. Showcase your expertise, maybe engage clients with video content on your website. Upload and organize your videos, create stunning video libraries and even Aaron, monetize your content by adding a paywall. Although you know you want them to sort of direct deposit.

[Aaron Keefe]

I can't stress you enough, this is a normal summer camp.

[Adel Shokira]

Oh sure, being nude is normal brother.

[Aaron Keefe]

You can fundraise directly on your website and grow your impact with built in donation tools. Create a professional on brand website that makes it easy to accept one time or recurring contributions and engage supporters. With built in email campaigns and marketing tools, you can connect with your community and inspire more people to support your cause. Keep your clothes on.

[JPC]

Maybe you could raise money to get clothes for everyone for the summer camp.

[Aaron Keefe]

You guys are the worst listeners I've ever met.

[JPC]

Plus with Squarespace domains, every dream needs a domain. Squarespace Domains makes it easy to find the best name for your business at one fair, all inclusive price. No hidden fees or add ons required. Every Squarespace domain comes with advanced privacy and security tools included to ensure your domain remains online and protected. Plus, Squarespace provides everything you need to bring more of your dreams to life. Whether that means building a website or adding a professional email service, don't wait to claim your name. Invest in your dream domain today. And Aaron, they have all new dot camp still available.

[Adel Shokira]

Okay Aaron, so let loose celebrate in your birthday suit and go to squarespace.com riddle for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code RIDDLE to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

[JPC]

Hey, Squarespace. The only website that you can use while naked.

[Aaron Keefe]

No, no, no, no, no. Guys, give me a second. I. I gotta write a love letter to my mattress. I miss it so much.

[Adel Shokira]

Erin and mattress sitting in the bed.

[JPC]

S L E E P I N.

[Aaron Keefe]

G oh, that was elegant. No, I just. I've been in Chicago so long and I miss my Helix mattress, my midnight luxe. Do you think it's thinking about me?

[JPC]

I know I'm thinking about my mattress and I wasn't listening to what you were saying.

[Adel Shokira]

Sorry guys, I didn't hear what you were saying. I was thinking about my midnight luxe mattress. The most comfortable mattress by Helix Sleep I've ever owned.

[JPC]

Aaron, if I were to be able to feel empathy, I would feel empathy for you and that you can't sleep on a midnight luxe. Mattress which Adel and I both also own and both are sleeping on. And we would invite you to sleep on ours.

[Aaron Keefe]

Can I.

[JPC]

But our wives.

[Adel Shokira]

Our wives.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, you still got those. Despite your both your everything about everything.

[JPC]

Our wives need those spots for their. What do they do? Wives wife. They wife all over the mattress.

[Aaron Keefe]

I had such a bad mattress before my Helix sleep. And I could not believe how much the Helix sleep improved. Like my pain when I woke up and my quality of sleep. I love it so much.

[Adel Shokira]

Oh, and I'll say, you know, I'm a bit of a night owl. I have trouble falling asleep. But anytime I crawl into my cool, crisp midnight Lux, I fall asleep immediately. Have the best night's deep sleep of my life. And all my cats, all four of my cats sleep on the bed with me. And it's still comfortable. It's big enough and comfortable enough for everybody to partake. And what a joy it is to just have those little rascals around.

[JPC]

Aaron, I know you're just venting and you don't necessarily want me to solve this for you.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, don't.

[JPC]

But I will say that Helix Sleep is having a fourth of July sale right now. This is their best of Web offer. It's 27% off site wide and it's exclusive for listeners of. Hey, Riddle. Riddle. All you have to do is go to helixsleep.com riddle for the 4th of July sale. That's helixsleep.com riddle For 27% off site wide. And make sure you enter our show name after checkout so they know that we sent you. That's helixsleep.com riddle Aaron Keef.

[Adel Shokira]

I'm Uncle Sleep and I want you to enjoy a Helix Sleep mattress.

[Aaron Keefe]

Who is this guy?

[Adel Shokira]

I'm Uncle Sleep.

[Aaron Keefe]

He's with you.

[JPC]

He just said he was Uncle Sleep.

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay, I'll have a pillow for a hat.

[Adel Shokira]

Come on.

[Aaron Keefe]

I love it.

[Adel Shokira]

And we're back, kids. And everything's fine. Everything's okay.

[Aaron Keefe]

Thanks for the beer, Santa.

[Adel Shokira]

No root beer. You mean. No come to mean root beer.

[Aaron Keefe]

You handed us a bunch of Bud Light dope. You said it tastes like pissed, but have at it.

[Adel Shokira]

I never.

[JPC]

Oh, boy.

[Aaron Keefe]

And then you fucked our moms.

[Adel Shokira]

I. Well, that. Hold on.

[JPC]

My mom's 17.

[Adel Shokira]

No. What are we doing? Why would you.

[JPC]

In England. In England.

[Aaron Keefe]

So she's 80 and you're afraid.

[Adel Shokira]

Oh, like stones versus pounds.

[JPC]

Well, she was pretty stones when you pounded.

[Adel Shokira]

Come on.

[Aaron Keefe]

Boo.

[JPC]

Come on. What are you going to do to that?

[Aaron Keefe]

Are you going to tell me it's Perfect.

[JPC]

Tell me.

[Aaron Keefe]

Stuns and pounds. I'm lashing out because I'm jealous.

[Adel Shokira]

Oh, Santa's not gonna do any more crowd work, but I am gonna do some more riddles. Here we go. In the midnight. In the midnight.

[JPC]

In the midnight.

[Adel Shokira]

In the midnight hour.

[JPC]

It kind of. With a rebel yell.

[Adel Shokira]

Thank you.

[JPC]

It kind of does feel like the midnight hour. Cause we're peeking behind the curtain. It's very hot. So we turned all the lights off in the studio, and there's just one single candle on the table.

[Adel Shokira]

It feels like special little occasion.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah.

[Adel Shokira]

Aaron, why don't you blow out that candle? Make a wish.

[JPC]

That's good audio. That's good audio. When was the last time you guys blew out a candle on a cake? Tomato. Like, when was the last time you.

[Aaron Keefe]

Probably my birthday.

[JPC]

For your birthday, you're served a candle with a cake on a candle?

[Aaron Keefe]

I don't think so.

[Adel Shokira]

Probably the last time I ruined a kid's birthday.

[JPC]

Yeah, for sure.

[Adel Shokira]

Where I'm like, beat you to it.

[Aaron Keefe]

There is an improviser. And I don't know if you want me to name her, but she has birthday candles in her purse and at a bar or whatever, if it's anyone's birthday or they're celebrating something special or a milestone, she'll light it and then.

[JPC]

Someone can blow out a candle. She got a pack of singles. Or she have like a big red four and a big red.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, yeah. Hoping that all of her friends are turning 40. She did. When I went through a breakup, she was like, we should celebrate. And then she popped out the candles.

[JPC]

That's pretty cool. That's a nice move.

[Aaron Keefe]

It was a lovely thing. And I kept the candle. And I was like, this is actually quite lovely. This should be a thing that humans do.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Adel Shokira]

Yeah, I like that.

[JPC]

I haven't blown out candles. Well, that's not true. My Grandma had a 90th birthday party that I recently went to, and I.

[Adel Shokira]

90 candles.

[JPC]

I know. It was a fucking lot. And I said, this better be your last one. This better be.

[Aaron Keefe]

Did her hair catch on fire?

[JPC]

No, I think it was like a 9 and a 0. They thought about doing the 90 candles thing, but of course it's just too much.

[Adel Shokira]

Top layer cake would be wax.

[JPC]

I helped blow them out and I was like, this is fun. Why don't I do this? Cause I don't think I've. I don't. First of all, I eat cake. It's not like my ass ain't eating.

[Aaron Keefe]

Cake for your birthday this year. You're turning 37.

[JPC]

God, I hope so.

[Aaron Keefe]

You should try to get 37 candles.

[JPC]

37 candles?

[Aaron Keefe]

I feel like that's a fun amount of candles to blow out.

[JPC]

Well, there are 37 days in December. So what if I just do a candle a day? Am I fucking freaking out right now? There's 37 days in December. Fine. I'll turn 31 every Hanukkah.

[Adel Shokira]

I'll come home at night and I'll be like, ooh. And Gemma's like, no, the menorah. And I'm like, I thought this was.

[JPC]

Ooh.

[Aaron Keefe]

Every Hanukkah just blowing in her face. Like.

[Adel Shokira]

In the midnight, a man suddenly clapped himself on the face, then got up and crazily clapped his hands until he got blood on his palm, then he went back to sleep. What's going on?

[Aaron Keefe]

He's killing a mysterious vampire.

[Adel Shokira]

He's killing tiny vampires.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'd like to see a scene.

[JPC]

Yes.

[Aaron Keefe]

Adel, you are a guy in the summer who has slept with his window open and jpc. You're a mosquito, and he goes to kill you, and you're offended and, like, don't understand why he would do that.

[Adel Shokira]

What is that buzzer? Here we go. Give a little.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm sorry, who is that? Excuse you.

[Adel Shokira]

That's a mosquito talking.

[Aaron Keefe]

It's the mosquito talking.

[Adel Shokira]

What the.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yes, the mosquito talking. Were you just about to kill me? Oh, so you're a murderer? No, I just walked into a house of a murderer.

[Adel Shokira]

No. Well, you flew into a house.

[Aaron Keefe]

I walked. Oh, I flew up to the window, but I walked across the threshold.

[Adel Shokira]

I thought you were gonna bite me. Don't you.

[Aaron Keefe]

Don't you guys? Yeah. Oh, I'm sorry. Yes, I was going to bite you, take a little bit of your blood because I needed to survive. You were gonna keep all of your blood, but I guess what you were gonna do was murder me for that. So my life would end. No, your life would be mildly inconvenient.

[Adel Shokira]

You do okay.

[Aaron Keefe]

No, hold on.

[Adel Shokira]

I'm not the bad guy here. This is my house. You broke into my house.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, did I break in? Or do we have different conceptions of what personal property is? Because mosquitoes are communal people.

[Adel Shokira]

Oh, what's communal people?

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, I'm sorry I have to take a little bit of your blood to live, but I'm sure you don't do that to anyone else. You don't eat chicken or beef or pork or honey. What do you mean you're gonna go live with mosquitoes? Because they have it all figured out.

[Adel Shokira]

I shaved my Head. I stole all our possessions and I'm gonna go live with the mosquitoes.

[Aaron Keefe]

Honey. Babe, did you smoke that weed again? The weed that got left in the hot, hot car and kind of turned?

[Adel Shokira]

I think it makes it more powerful, more potent.

[Aaron Keefe]

No, you're not gonna go live with mosquitoes on a commune somewhere in the way.

[Adel Shokira]

We need to be bloodless. We hoard our blood. Don't you understand? So much of nature needs our blood.

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay, then go. Just go then. That's fine.

[Adel Shokira]

Can you come with me and, like, we'll get weird names, like.

[Aaron Keefe]

No, I'm actually with someone.

[Adel Shokira]

What?

[Aaron Keefe]

He's here?

[Adel Shokira]

What the hey?

[Aaron Keefe]

I mean, if you weren't gonna use the house, I was gonna come in here and use the house. You're gonna live the mosquitoes, which is objectively better.

[Adel Shokira]

I thought you. You swayed me to come.

[Aaron Keefe]

Look, out of a nice suit. He's actually just got hired at your law firm. Can you pass the pork fried rice? I would love a little more pork fried rice.

[Adel Shokira]

Taylor Johnson and Mosquito.

[Aaron Keefe]

Hey, we're trying to eat dinner. Yeah, we're trying to eat dinner.

[Adel Shokira]

Wait, those are our wedding dishes. I thought I sold everything for a special occasion.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, you sold them online. And I bought them at a good price. Everything. Look around the house. That looks the same as it did. He bought everything.

[Adel Shokira]

Do you. Do you have a penis?

[JPC]

Wow.

[Aaron Keefe]

See? Fuck. Whatever that was about to be. Yeah.

[JPC]

You tell me.

[Adel Shokira]

Hey, Bob Dylan, write a song about that.

[Aaron Keefe]

Is making me go. Are we at the beginning of an episode, the end of an episode, or in the middle of an episode? I can't tell. My internal clock is all up.

[Adel Shokira]

Here's another riddle.

[JPC]

Great.

[Adel Shokira]

There is a beloved Italian restaurant. Aaron, give us one of your famous Italian impressions.

[Aaron Keefe]

That's not good. That's not good. I'm gonna get canceled.

[JPC]

Canceled.

[Aaron Keefe]

Spaghetti. Spaghetti.

[JPC]

How dare you do that? That's my people's voice.

[Aaron Keefe]

It's spaghetti.

[JPC]

I can say it. I got an Italian dog.

[Adel Shokira]

There is a beloved Italian restaurant with excellent reviews.

[JPC]

Okay.

[Adel Shokira]

However, one day, a lot of people dining at this restaurant became sick. Although all the meals were in order and prepared as usual.

[JPC]

Were in order.

[Adel Shokira]

What happened?

[Aaron Keefe]

Common monoxide poisoning.

[JPC]

Oh, this is World War II.

[Aaron Keefe]

Common monoxide.

[JPC]

This is World War II. The meals were at the restaurants belonging to one mousse.

[Aaron Keefe]

This was Covid.

[Adel Shokira]

Wow, Aaron, that's a.

[Aaron Keefe]

That's wasn't one of the first place where it really popped was Italy. Yeah, it was like Italy. New York City.

[JPC]

Wuhan. Italy.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah.

[Adel Shokira]

Wuhan and Milan.

[JPC]

Yeah. Mulan okay, so all the orders are made to order.

[Aaron Keefe]

What was the additional information an important part of this?

[Adel Shokira]

Not necessarily. It doesn't really matter.

[JPC]

Everybody got sick.

[Adel Shokira]

Not everyone. It says a lot of people. And you were. The COVID Response was along the right lines.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, everyone gets, like, a cold from each other. One of the waiters had a cold and came into work.

[JPC]

Anyway, was this 20. I wanna say 2011, when everyone was like, I'm gluten intolerant.

[Adel Shokira]

Yeah, that's it. The answer is, it was that year where everyone was like, I'm suddenly gluten intolerant, but there's no such thing as gluten intolerance. Aaron's staring daggers at me.

[JPC]

It's celiac. It's celiac.

[Adel Shokira]

Yeah, Celiac's disease.

[Aaron Keefe]

I did get my autoimmune thing under control, and now I do eat bread from time to time.

[JPC]

Whoa.

[Adel Shokira]

How is that?

[Aaron Keefe]

It's crazy. It does make me feel, like, sick, but the same way, like, every food makes me sick, you know?

[JPC]

Yeah, but, like, I think bread kind of does make everyone sick. I just don't think we were ever meant to eat as much bread as we eat, you know?

[Aaron Keefe]

And It's a catch 22, because my autoimmune stuff is gonna come back if I eat too much bread or do too much gluten. So I have to. It has to be like a once in a while, special occasion thing.

[Adel Shokira]

Rolls aren't bread, right?

[JPC]

They're bread rolls. Aaron. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Aaron, you didn't hear. Rolls.

[Aaron Keefe]

Rolls are bread.

[JPC]

Rolls are bread.

[Adel Shokira]

Sorry. I'm talking about R O L L S. Like when you cut open a roll and you put butter on inside.

[JPC]

Yeah, for like a dinner roll.

[Adel Shokira]

Sorry, Aaron, you're spread. Let me hold. Let me pull up a picture.

[JPC]

Yeah, she's not.

[Adel Shokira]

I don't think you're understanding.

[JPC]

She's not getting it. She's not getting it. Aaron, roll me. Aaron. He's talking about. He's talking about rolls. Rolls.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, rolls. Yeah, those are gluten.

[JPC]

No, we're doing something differently. That must be wrong.

[Adel Shokira]

There's a beloved Italian restaurant with excellent reviews.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, wait, wait. Just give us a hint.

[Adel Shokira]

This restaurant is in not an unusual place, but in a hyper specific place. Like an airport.

[JPC]

Times Square.

[Adel Shokira]

Not Times Square. Airport's closer.

[JPC]

Like an airport bus station.

[Aaron Keefe]

Train station's closer to.

[Adel Shokira]

Keep thinking about transportation.

[JPC]

It's an Italian restaurant on a.

[Aaron Keefe]

A cruise ship.

[Adel Shokira]

They are Sonic cruise ship. They're all seasick.

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay, well, this is a solo character that I want to see everybody do. And it's seasick Italian waiter.

[JPC]

Okay, Aaron, do you want to start?

[Aaron Keefe]

Casey, you have to do it as well.

[JPC]

Casey, you don't have to do it. Aaron, you start. You start. He doesn't have a mic.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, but he'll do it. Like one word from far away.

[JPC]

Okay, you start, Aaron.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, no. You start.

[JPC]

No, no, Aaron, I must insist.

[Aaron Keefe]

You start. Adol. You start.

[Adel Shokira]

I'll break the tie. Aaron, you start.

[Aaron Keefe]

Jpc. You start.

[JPC]

Aaron, the floor is yours. Seasick Italian waiter.

[Adel Shokira]

Okay, we have a few specials. We have a linguin. Sorry, we have a linguine. A linguin. And a nice minestream. A nice. And for dessert, we have a mastachioli. Wait, why is mastachioli a dessert?

[Aaron Keefe]

Perfect. Hey, he did a perfect job.

[JPC]

That was good.

[Aaron Keefe]

Can I estada? You are the wisdom. Good.

[Adel Shokira]

And again, this is Italian waiters in Mario Karts hitting a banana peel.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, that's what I said. That's what I said.

[JPC]

Okay, I'm so happy I called in sick for work so I don't have to go to work sick and get anyone else sick. Okay, what's on tv? Oh, pornography.

[Aaron Keefe]

Why are you seasick in your apartment?

[JPC]

What's that?

[Aaron Keefe]

Nothing.

[JPC]

Pornography. Talking back to me. I don't hate it. I don't hate it. Now to.

[Aaron Keefe]

Hold on.

[Adel Shokira]

I love a porn. Pouring myself another cup of coffee in.

[Aaron Keefe]

Casey, just one word from you. Anything.

[JPC]

Poured myself. Master choli. What is mess?

[Adel Shokira]

Wait a minute. Can you drink?

[Aaron Keefe]

And, guys, in case he has the.

[Adel Shokira]

Floor, my guy had to come in for jpc. Who called off? Oh, so this is a spinoff impression.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay.

[JPC]

Spaghetti.

[Adel Shokira]

That was my one word.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yay.

[JPC]

He got. I thought he was gonna lose the Eddy on spaghetti because he threw up, but he got it.

[Aaron Keefe]

He got there.

[JPC]

He got it.

[Adel Shokira]

He finished. An Italian Oscar goes to Casey.

[JPC]

Tony, Roberta Bellini's crying in his seat for barfing.

[Adel Shokira]

Bellini. Roberta Bellini stands on the seats. A boohoo. Well, we got that one.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Adel Shokira]

Okay.

[JPC]

Wait, what? Oh, yes, we did.

[Adel Shokira]

It was seasick. All on a cruise. Did you. Did either of you guys get seasick on the Joca?

[Aaron Keefe]

No, no. The first year, I did. Oh, I got a little seasick. No, I got seasick this time.

[Adel Shokira]

Okay.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, I did get seasick.

[JPC]

I always thought I might, but I never did.

[Adel Shokira]

Yeah, which was nice.

[Aaron Keefe]

On the Hayward the Rota Live show day, I was so seasick.

[JPC]

Yeah, I think you told me that you threw up in your mouth.

[Adel Shokira]

Aaron, you were with Me, we were on the top deck, back deck, something like that. And we were all having fun, playing games. We were with a group of people. And then it hit me like a sniper shot where I was laughing, having fun. And then I slowly got up and Aaron was like, are you okay? And I'm like, I have to go. It hit me so hard.

[Aaron Keefe]

We played Essences and that was so fun. We haven't played that on Hayward or Riddle. That would be so fun. Casey, you would have to be on the episode for it really only works with four plus people. GPC would find a way to really curse the game. But I feel like that's just part.

[JPC]

Of the ecosystem around here.

[Adel Shokira]

Da da da. Laura is restrained all night long with her hands pinned to her sides and cries out occasionally while someone watches her on a video camera.

[Aaron Keefe]

She's an animal.

[Adel Shokira]

No one is alarmed. And Laura is happy in the morning.

[JPC]

Why she a bobcat in a sack?

[Adel Shokira]

She's not getting a sack. Not a penguin.

[JPC]

Is she an animal?

[Adel Shokira]

She's not an animal.

[JPC]

Penguins or animals.

[Adel Shokira]

Speaking of penguins.

[Aaron Keefe]

I know. Should I meet one while I'm here?

[Adel Shokira]

Do you have free dates?

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, I'll give you my free date.

[JPC]

Is she in a sleep study?

[Adel Shokira]

Real quick, Aaron, I was going to text you about it, but I had also texted you last week and you never responded.

[JPC]

I feel like I got it.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, because I'm trying to figure out if I can do that thing you asked me to do. I still don't know if I can do it. I'm still waiting on hearing back about a timing thing.

[JPC]

So is Adel. Adel's also still waiting to hear back. In fact, he's heard nothing.

[Aaron Keefe]

You cannot gang up against me. You two don't like each other the same amount as you don't like me. Be honest. So you guys being a team in any sort of way makes no fucking sense.

[JPC]

But if it is equal. But if it is equal.

[Aaron Keefe]

I like loyalties at this table.

[JPC]

But sure, but. So why can't switch sides?

[Aaron Keefe]

Fine. We all like Casey.

[JPC]

I'm a like not love on Casey.

[Adel Shokira]

Oh yeah. I said like.

[JPC]

Or you know what? Actually, I think on all four of you, myself included, I'm a love. Not like.

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay, I'm a love not like. I'm a love not like on everybody at the table.

[JPC]

On everybody at this table.

[Aaron Keefe]

No, Kayce, I also like you. I think I would hang out with you outside of this. I drive you insane though, and I don't love that.

[JPC]

Yeah, I think that she would also hang out with you outside of this Kasey. In a world where you could hang out with someone who doesn't answer text messages. Like, what would that world be?

[Aaron Keefe]

Say more interesting stuff than text.

[JPC]

You show up. You show up and Aaron's there. And Aaron's like, we're hanging out now. And you're like, okay, I just didn't be hotter. I didn't know that.

[Aaron Keefe]

Wilder.

[JPC]

You want me to send you some wild texts, Aaron?

[Aaron Keefe]

No.

[JPC]

Okay. Uh.

[Adel Shokira]

Oh, Aaron. Aaron wrote a check her body can't catch.

[JPC]

They call me Gene in the group chat because I'm fucking Wilder in there.

[Aaron Keefe]

Throws my phone like a Frisbee.

[JPC]

Aaron.

[Adel Shokira]

Let's just have a moment of silence for Gene Wilder.

[JPC]

Gene Wilder. RIP, Aaron. Rip.

[Adel Shokira]

You didn't deserve that.

[JPC]

Rip. One of the greats. Aaron.

[Aaron Keefe]

Hold up. Your imagination.

[JPC]

Gone too soon. Got cancer, Aaron. Cancer.

[Aaron Keefe]

He was great.

[JPC]

He was great.

[Aaron Keefe]

He was great on Will and Grace. Did you know he was on Will and Grace?

[Adel Shokira]

Yes. Dated Gilda Ratner. Married. Married to Gilded.

[JPC]

They were married.

[Aaron Keefe]

Why shouldn't they date a really cute couple?

[JPC]

Whoa. Do you think that they got married before they dated? Arranged marriage. What if it was an arranged marriage?

[Adel Shokira]

She was dating Martin Short.

[Aaron Keefe]

When are you guys going to arrange marry me? What's my dowry?

[JPC]

Ugh. We'll let the guy kick the shit out of both of us.

[Aaron Keefe]

No, you pay him. Oh, yeah.

[JPC]

I guess someone else.

[Adel Shokira]

Your dowry was two rack of ribs. A Claire's raccoon ribs.

[JPC]

I'm not paying for. I'm not paying for top shelf ribs. This could be raccoon ribs.

[Adel Shokira]

They didn't specify raccoon ribs.

[Aaron Keefe]

And a Claire's raccoon ribs are more expensive.

[Adel Shokira]

And eclair's boutique card $50.

[JPC]

I can go outside right now and.

[Aaron Keefe]

In 15 minutes so a teen can pierce your ears.

[Adel Shokira]

Yes.

[JPC]

That's the only person I would trust with something.

[Adel Shokira]

The person I trust with needles. Laura is restrained all night long with her hands pinned to her side. No. She cries out occasionally while someone watches her on a video camera. No one is alarmed.

[Aaron Keefe]

Not an animal.

[Adel Shokira]

And Laura is happy in the morning.

[Aaron Keefe]

Sleep. Study.

[JPC]

Oh, is she an actor? Is this like a movie that they're doing? And this is. They're doing Day for night on a movie set.

[Adel Shokira]

This is Saw. This is the behind the scenes Saw five. Not an animal. But.

[JPC]

Do you think they joke around on the Saw set?

[Adel Shokira]

What'd you say?

[JPC]

Do you think they joke around on the Saw set?

[Aaron Keefe]

I think you have to. You do for levity.

[JPC]

You think they call cut and someone's like, oh, that just happened. Nah, that's not really a joke.

[Aaron Keefe]

I don't always say shooting a horror movie doesn't feel scary is what people say.

[JPC]

Is that what they say? That's good because it shouldn't. Right? But you want the fear from the actors, right?

[Adel Shokira]

I think Cary Elways set the tone for the first one.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Adel Shokira]

And he's so charming.

[JPC]

He's just so charming.

[Adel Shokira]

Aaron, one to ten. Cary Elwes?

[Aaron Keefe]

Ten.

[Adel Shokira]

Yeah.

[Aaron Keefe]

Nine.

[Adel Shokira]

What about Mandy Patinkin?

[Aaron Keefe]

A thousand.

[Adel Shokira]

What about Andre the Giant?

[Aaron Keefe]

A thousand.

[Adel Shokira]

What about Wallace Sean?

[Aaron Keefe]

2.

[JPC]

2 on Wallace Sean.

[Aaron Keefe]

No, that was just. That was me trying to be funny.

[Adel Shokira]

Inconceivable.

[JPC]

Inconsiderate.

[Adel Shokira]

Inconsiderate.

[JPC]

Inconsiderate.

[Aaron Keefe]

You guys, that Patreon episode where we talked about fuck, marry, kill, TV shows, movies and video games. I've had that conversation with literally everybody in my life, and I have really been emphasizing that. I think you can't. Video games is a whole other thing. But I think movies, where they're at right now is what happens to. Happened to book in theaters when movies came out. I think movies. I think your golden era is behind you for right now. I think you're a great medium for storytelling. But I think we're in the golden era of television as like a paintbrush and a medium. And then I remember Princess Bride exists. And then I go, well, fuck me, there's no TV show that's as good as Prince.

[JPC]

I think the golden era of movies ended somewhere in like the mid-80s. I think that's when movies ended. But I think that for a while. And I'll take TV off the table. The era of prestige tv, I think, has come to an end.

[Aaron Keefe]

I think it's about. I think we're cusping.

[JPC]

I think. Andor was the last of the prestige.

[Aaron Keefe]

Severance.

[Adel Shokira]

Fargo, Fargo.

[Aaron Keefe]

Severance.

[JPC]

Are they still. Is Fargo still happening?

[Adel Shokira]

Maybe.

[JPC]

I don't think so.

[Aaron Keefe]

Fleabag.

[Adel Shokira]

That was recent, your honor. Fleabag.

[Aaron Keefe]

Second season of Fleabag is.

[JPC]

Andor season two was the latest of any of these things that you guys are mentioning. I think that. And I just said that. Andor season two is them shutting the door in prestigious.

[Aaron Keefe]

I don't think so.

[JPC]

I don't think the money's there. All the streamers have cut all of their budgets. They're not putting any money into it anymore. I think, look, I think we are in the age of TV slop. I think there's going to be so much TV slope, but I don't think you're going to get very many, like big group shots with lots of extras in them. I think that that thing In Andor Season 2 was the last of it. I think we are. I could be wrong and I think that there's like a tail end where it's a slow trickle. But I think the era of prestige TV is behind us. And I think that we are entering into the golden age of.

[Aaron Keefe]

Video games.

[JPC]

No, slop. Slop tv. I think we're still in a TV age era. I think it's just the age of slop has I think T2 Rise of the Slop shield.

[Aaron Keefe]

I still think we're in that TV time. I think it's another two or three years of that and then I think we're gonna be in the video game. Video games have been really booming and become great storytellers. But I think how you love theater. What's the theater where you're.

[Adel Shokira]

Immersive theater.

[Aaron Keefe]

Immersive theater. I think that stories that you are folded into are gonna be the next big thing like VR or also live experiences of that. I think that that is gonna be.

[Adel Shokira]

The next airing it.

[Aaron Keefe]

Chunk.

[Adel Shokira]

I think you're right because God, I hope not. Movie stars were movie stars and then came the era of Sopranos and maybe not Sopranos, but when they started getting like film actors starring in TV roles, that was a big deal. Like True Detective was maybe the first instance of that with Woody Harrelson and Matthew McConaughey.

[JPC]

Yeah. Because like the Wire and Sopranos and.

[Adel Shokira]

Stuff was mostly like they were still kind of unknown.

[JPC]

Yeah. Or British theaters, you know.

[Adel Shokira]

But with True Detective Season 1, film actors went to TV and they felt comfortable and they had great success. So I do think maybe the next move is like, you know, Al Pacino is the voice of like some of like Mario in a new Mario game.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah. That you like experience like. Yeah.

[JPC]

Al Pacino, the voice. Al Pacino. 91 year old Al Pacino.

[Adel Shokira]

Yahoo. I'm gonna win, Luigi.

[JPC]

Luigi's got a great ass.

[Aaron Keefe]

Well, that's got legs.

[Adel Shokira]

I go to save that princess. Is that a warp whistle, Aaron? Do Al Pacino saying warp whistle. Is that a warp whistle?

[Aaron Keefe]

Hoorah.

[JPC]

Koopa.

[Aaron Keefe]

Koopa.

[Adel Shokira]

Laura is restrained all night long with her hands pinned to her sides and cries out occasionally while someone watches her on a date.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, she's a fucking baby, Aaron.

[Adel Shokira]

She's a fucking ho, ho ho. She's a fucking baby.

[JPC]

Swaddled. They call that swaddled now of days.

[Adel Shokira]

Laura's a baby who is swaddled. Mother is watching her on a baby monitor. She cries out a few times during the night. She goes back to sleep, all is well.

[Aaron Keefe]

And she swaddled does seem quite nice. Every time I've swaddled a baby, swallowed. Every time I've eaten a baby, I unhinge my jaw.

[JPC]

Okay, Kronos, what's going on over here?

[Aaron Keefe]

Every time I've swaddled one, I've gone. Well, that looks really relaxing.

[Adel Shokira]

Yeah.

[Aaron Keefe]

Just to be like.

[JPC]

Just to remind me of being in the womb.

[Adel Shokira]

The sleeping bag, you mean?

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh my God, is that what I mean?

[Adel Shokira]

I get a weighted blanket.

[JPC]

Weighted blankets are kind of like big kids sleep sex, right? Yeah. They like kind of press down on me.

[Aaron Keefe]

I just feel so good for a second. I like when someone lays directly on top of me just and like presses down on me.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Aaron Keefe]

But weighted blankets, they. I like them for the first couple minutes and then I get anxious.

[Adel Shokira]

Claustrophobic.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, I get claustrophobic.

[JPC]

For some people not. Well, they help with the anxiety. Like they're good for some, some types of anxiety because they can like be like this like constant pressure on you. For me, unfortunately, I run so hot that I'm always kicking shit off of me in the night in a well awaited blanket stops that I can't kick it off of me. I do wake up kind of in a puddle of my own. I'm just struggling against my bonds all.

[Adel Shokira]

Night and I bench press in bed so that when I get tired I just fall asleep and I have the weight of the bar on me.

[JPC]

Yeah. 999. 1,000 counting reps. Yeah. And Jim was like, you started counting at 998?

[Aaron Keefe]

No, I was going to say he's counting backwards.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Aaron Keefe]

From a thousand.

[Adel Shokira]

No, and it's just the bar.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah.

[Adel Shokira]

Okay.

[JPC]

A baby named Laura.

[Adel Shokira]

Come on, come on.

[Aaron Keefe]

Laura is an accountant or a real estate agent and nothing else. We're meeting up with my real estate agent Laura later.

[JPC]

She's actually like a complicated, complex person.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yes, of course. She has a full life.

[JPC]

She's great.

[Aaron Keefe]

She's also my real estate agent.

[JPC]

Good, good.

[Adel Shokira]

What are you. You're meaning with her here?

[Aaron Keefe]

No, this is. I'm doing a bit.

[JPC]

This is a joke from Aaron.

[Aaron Keefe]

I cannot afford a house.

[JPC]

Aaron.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'll never have a house.

[JPC]

What's the funny part about the joke? Is the joke that you can never afford a house?

[Aaron Keefe]

I guess that's part of it. It's quite funny. No, Laura, I just think sounds like a real estate agent name.

[Adel Shokira]

Yeah.

[Aaron Keefe]

But maybe I'm crazy.

[JPC]

No, no.

[Aaron Keefe]

What the Fuck. Did I just do energy dipping?

[JPC]

No, no, no, no, no, no. I think Laura, bad name.

[Adel Shokira]

These are all real estate agent names. Daphne.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yes.

[JPC]

Denise, Italian last name.

[Aaron Keefe]

There you go.

[Adel Shokira]

My name is Denise, Italian last name. And I'm here to get you a new house.

[JPC]

Biggest hair in real estate.

[Adel Shokira]

One of my favorite bits of all time was from. Did you watch what we do in the Shadows? The TV show?

[JPC]

Yes, of course.

[Adel Shokira]

When they're interviewing Nandor and they're like, what's your last name? And he goes, derelentlis. And they go, I'm here with Nandor De Laurentiis. And I'm like, that is a great day. Amazing. And it's like season four or something where I'm like, someone sat on that for four years.

[JPC]

No. It's so funny when a name joke comes in, like, four seasons in. You're like, God, I was right. Did that just come to you one day?

[Adel Shokira]

Holy shit. John. Different John. John goes to the same woman every day for advice. He trusts her implicitly and always follows her directions.

[Aaron Keefe]

Magic 8 Ball.

[JPC]

Grok.

[Adel Shokira]

It is Grok.

[JPC]

Lady Grok.

[Adel Shokira]

Grok has become woke, though.

[JPC]

Yeah. Grok is woke. Boo.

[Adel Shokira]

But John has no intention of ever meeting her. And he never asks her about herself. What's stopping him from developing a more meaningful relationship?

[Aaron Keefe]

She's a psychic. Because she's a ghost. Because she is.

[Adel Shokira]

Aaron. This is basically a psychic tarot deck. That is. You're not far off.

[JPC]

She's one of those, like.

[Aaron Keefe]

She's a Ouija board.

[JPC]

Those machines at the mall that you put the quarter in. And she's like.

[Aaron Keefe]

The psychic. She.

[Adel Shokira]

What machines?

[JPC]

She's a Zortan.

[Aaron Keefe]

She's crystals. She's.

[JPC]

She's crystals.

[Adel Shokira]

She's Crystals. You're right that she's not a real person, but this is. Let me go back to a certain line, okay? John goes to the same woman every day for advice. He trusts her implicitly and always follows her directions.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, she's Paula Deen's cookbook. Like Siri or 10 sticks of butter. Like, the one being like, turn left on.

[Adel Shokira]

Yeah, yeah. Yes. Aaron. What's that called?

[JPC]

Google Map Voice.

[Aaron Keefe]

Siri Alexa Personal assistant. Gps.

[Adel Shokira]

Gps.

[JPC]

Gps.

[Adel Shokira]

Which stands for Gina Personal Service.

[Aaron Keefe]

Why is the default robot voice, ladies? What's the psychology behind that?

[JPC]

The movie Her.

[Aaron Keefe]

Is it like. Yeah. Is it people like men not wanting another guy to tell them what to do?

[Adel Shokira]

Probably.

[JPC]

Yeah, probably.

[Adel Shokira]

There's probably some studies of, like, when a guy's like, turn left. It's like, no, I don't Think so. Yeah, I got it. But if a woman says it, you're like, okay. Mill lady.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, he's cute. Probably.

[Adel Shokira]

I do want to see a scene. Aaron, you are driving. You're in a new town.

[Aaron Keefe]

Great.

[Adel Shokira]

And gapc, you are the GPS and you're trying to help her out.

[Aaron Keefe]

Type in ice cream shop. Here we go.

[JPC]

I've never been here.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, okay.

[JPC]

I don't know how to get to the ice cream shop. I've never been here. I'm not from here.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, I. Okay.

[JPC]

I'm from the town you're from.

[Aaron Keefe]

This is strange. This must be just like. Let me check my settings on location. Oh, it's updated so it knows that we're in Cincinnati. Okay. Yeah. Just find it on a map and then let me know. Know where to go.

[JPC]

I don't need a map. I know where I'm going.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, my God.

[JPC]

I know where I'm going. I don't need a map.

[Aaron Keefe]

No, I mean, sure, maybe you. You just said that you are from the same place I'm from. You've never. Yeah, but we've never been here before. Right?

[JPC]

On a grid. So I know where I'm going.

[Aaron Keefe]

Gps.

[JPC]

Let's just drive. I'll find it.

[Aaron Keefe]

The last time I did this, I literally at a lake. And then you said if I was a better driver, this would have never happened.

[JPC]

Women drivers.

[Adel Shokira]

Mark, there you are. I've been trying to get a hold of you. Your son wants to talk to you.

[JPC]

Oh, boy.

[Adel Shokira]

Mark, you need to see your son.

[JPC]

Hold on, Gina. Let me deal with this, okay?

[Aaron Keefe]

No, go with her. Well, we don't find my own.

[JPC]

We don't have to go anywhere because we're computer.

[Aaron Keefe]

All right, I'm gonna just sort of Google how to get there and then write down the instructions.

[Adel Shokira]

Don't use Google. We'll answer.

[JPC]

Yeah, we'll answer. I know Google.

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay.

[JPC]

I can get it faster than Google.

[Aaron Keefe]

To Cincinnati's ice cream shop.

[JPC]

Just keep going.

[Aaron Keefe]

That's a good joke.

[JPC]

Just keep driving. I'll sort this thing out with my son.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm going to get.

[JPC]

Oh, by the way, I want a test.

[Adel Shokira]

What do you mean?

[JPC]

I want a paternity test.

[Adel Shokira]

What do you mean?

[JPC]

I want to know if he's my son.

[Adel Shokira]

I didn't quite hear that.

[JPC]

Oh, you heard it. You heard what I said. There, there. Ice cream store.

[Aaron Keefe]

No, no, that's not an ice cream store.

[JPC]

Pull over.

[Aaron Keefe]

That's a elementary school.

[JPC]

They have ice cream. If it's kids there, they'll have ice cream.

[Aaron Keefe]

No, I Got.

[JPC]

Let me talk to the guy. Let me talk to the guy.

[Aaron Keefe]

No.

[JPC]

Let me talk to the guy.

[Aaron Keefe]

No.

[JPC]

Lower your window.

[Adel Shokira]

Hey, what's going on?

[JPC]

You have ice cream. Is there ice cream inside there?

[Adel Shokira]

We have for the kids.

[JPC]

We need to buy some ice cream.

[Adel Shokira]

Well, if you just go down 48 and take a look.

[JPC]

Hey. Huh. We don't want direction.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yes we do. Where do I go down here.

[Adel Shokira]

Take a left on 48.

[JPC]

Keep your eyes on me, pal. We're having a conversation.

[Adel Shokira]

I.

[Aaron Keefe]

Who.

[JPC]

Who give him money? Just hand him $20 from your purse.

[Aaron Keefe]

My ex husband got electrocuted and put into this car.

[JPC]

Electrocuted?

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm not electrocuted.

[Adel Shokira]

I'm go help the kids.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, you should.

[JPC]

She drew a sexy picture on a wall outlet and then went out of town for a weekend. I got.

[Aaron Keefe]

He fucked the wall speeds off.

[Adel Shokira]

Sweet.

[Aaron Keefe]

I have been reading Trust. This is a little dark and sad, but something to think about. You know how all the documentaries about the Stockton Rush. Is that his name? The guy who blew up the. Was in the submersible. Oh yeah. The amount of times people have died because men are so arrogant about their own intelligence is wild. Like where women have been like, I think this is too steep of a cliff. And they're like, shut up, I'm brilliant. And then the woman dies too. That happens so much it's crazy. This is what I'm saying that when you suggest stuff sometimes guys, I should probably be pushing back on it.

[JPC]

I hope that when I die, James Cameron comes out and it's like, I knew that guy was gonna fucking die. That would be the best. I would love if that got published. Just a throwaway from Jim Cameron.

[Adel Shokira]

Is that what James Cameron did?

[JPC]

Yeah, James Cameron.

[Aaron Keefe]

He was like, I should have said something. Cause I knew that guy was fucking gonna die.

[JPC]

Yeah. I think he even cautioned him against going down in the.

[Aaron Keefe]

I don't think he did.

[JPC]

Oh, did he not?

[Aaron Keefe]

I knew it.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Adel Shokira]

Cause he's a big submersible guy.

[JPC]

He's a huge submersible. Titanic. Yeah.

[Adel Shokira]

Yeah.

[JPC]

And I think he's worked to make some of the technology that makes that stuff happen. I'm not saying he's in the lab tinkering, but he's financed it and shit like that too.

[Aaron Keefe]

But in those documentaries and who knows if this is true, but one of the guy, the guy who did it, the billionaire, his best friend said that he kind of had a death wish to die down there. Like he was kind of hoping he would. He loved the lore of the Titanic and really romanticized it.

[JPC]

Sure.

[Aaron Keefe]

And like called it the Titan Submersible. Like he kind of wanted to be folded into the story.

[JPC]

Hey. And he was folded in. Aaron.

[Aaron Keefe]

It's funny.

[JPC]

What do we think of that?

[Aaron Keefe]

But maybe not the other people who are in.

[JPC]

Yeah, there was like a 17 year old boy in there that didn't want to be there.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, that's the. That's the. That's where we were all gonna have a lot of fun until that happened.

[JPC]

Yeah. Until that happened at all. Kind of fun to say that that guy got folded in, but pretty harder to think about how much fun it is.

[Aaron Keefe]

Anyways, a riddle or hey, how about.

[JPC]

We even do plugs or whatever?

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah.

[Adel Shokira]

Would we say that guy's now like Moana's grandma or whatever?

[Aaron Keefe]

Hers was a little bit more spiritual. Her return to the ocean.

[JPC]

My ass is in Boana and I see like the. What's the animal that the grandma becomes a manta ray underneath my butt. I just see like a folded up man.

[Aaron Keefe]

Remember the first time you saw that? You cried so hard. He appears folded at banding.

[JPC]

Stuck in Rush appears on my butt and I'm like.

[Adel Shokira]

He's like, am I beautiful?

[JPC]

I'm so proud of you.

[Adel Shokira]

Just like an Italian waiter. Aaron, anything to plug or promote?

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, oh, oh, no, no, no. I'm okay.

[Adel Shokira]

Okay.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, follow. Quality time.

[JPC]

That's fun to do.

[Aaron Keefe]

Variety show I host in Los Angeles. I love it. I'm really proud of it. So if you want to check it out, it's on Instagram.

[Adel Shokira]

Hell yeah. I'm gonna plug and promote the hey Riddle Riddle tour. Go to heyriddle riddle.com live. Check out whatever cities and dates we're going to if there's tickets left. And also the hello from the Magic Tavern tour. We're just Google hello for the Magic Devon Live. I guess I forget what our website is, but go there and check out some dates. Jpc, Anything to plug a remote.

[JPC]

Hey, this is JPC cutting in from the future, piggybacking on what adol said. Portland, Oregon Saturday, July 26 and Seattle, Washington, Sunday, July 27. There are still a few tickets left. We just released some more tickets for those shows, so get them while they're hot because they're going fast. And then our show in Los Angeles on Friday, August 1st. Still some tickets left for that, plus our livestream and I just heard from the venue. The livestream tickets will be available up to two weeks after the show ends and you will have that long to watch the live stream. So if you buy the livestream, you can watch it for two weeks. Or if like a week after the show you say, hey, I want to see that live stream. You can still get it for two weeks after Friday, August 1st. But the live tickets, they're only for that night. All right, now to you, JPC Saturday nights at I.O. world News Tonight. You can come and see that show every Saturday. I'm there some Saturdays. Not every Saturday, but I'm there some Saturdays. Or you can follow us on Instagram to see the cast lists that we post the week of the show. And I think that's it. Aaron, I know you're probably gonna say no, but I've recently come into a little bit of money. $1 billion, and I am building a rocket ship. I'm going to use a GameCube controller to pilot the rocket ship. And it doesn't matter what planet we go to. I'm not picky about that.

[Aaron Keefe]

Jupiter.

[JPC]

Great.

[Adel Shokira]

I thought for sure he was going to say, I came into money, I got kicked out of the bank, I can't go back to that bank. Something like that. Does that make sense?

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, my God.

[Adel Shokira]

I came into some money. I can never go back.

[Aaron Keefe]

And JC cut out the music right here. It's all just sort of sit in the silence before he comes back in. All right, you can do that. What'd you say about coming into money?

[Adel Shokira]

Nothing.

[JPC]

Logo created by Emily Cardamus and Emily Namorus. Hey there, crowds and pleasers. If you like that, you're gonna love this week's Patreon. It's another edition of Public Access tv. You can listen to that plus our entire back [e-mail] HeyRiddleriddle by joining the clue crew for $5 a month or start your 7 day free trial or the review crew for $8 a month. Plus you get those ad free episodes. See you there.

[Aaron Keefe]

That was a headgum podcast.