#369: Star Wars (1979)

Summary

Podcast Summary: Hey Riddle Riddle – Episode #369: Star Wars (1979)

Release Date: August 13, 2025

Hosts: Adol Rifai, Erin Keif, and John Patrick Collins

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Introduction and Early Banter (00:00 – 02:20)

The episode opens with a humorous mock advertisement where Adol Rifai introduces "Schedule 35," a Canadian startup focused on educating and enriching lives through microdosing psilocybin products. The banter quickly becomes playful as Aaron Keefe and John Patrick Collins humorously misinterpret "Schedule 35" as Adol’s home planet, leading to playful exchanges about psilocybin's benefits.

Adol Rifai [00:20]: “...our mission is to educate and enrich lives with a deeper meaning and a better sense of self through microdosing psilocybin products.”

John Patrick Collins [02:03]: “...Get 50% off with code RIDDLECHEDULE35CO.”

This segment sets a lighthearted tone, showcasing the trio's improvisational skills and comedic chemistry.

Mock Complaint Filing and Transition (02:20 – 05:00)

The hosts engage in a satirical skit pretending to file a formal complaint against the podcast, highlighting common listener grievances in a comedic manner.

Adol Rifai [02:20]: “He stood on a block of ice. Both of them were goldfish...”

John Patrick Collins [04:24]: “...He stabbed him with an ice, and the horses seemed right.”

This playful exchange leads into the announcement of the episode's theme, marking the transition from mock advertisements to the core content.

Star Wars-Themed Riddles and Discussions (05:00 – 35:00)

The main focus of the episode revolves around a series of Star Wars-themed riddles submitted by listener Jamie Newton from Toronto. The hosts attempt to solve these riddles, which center on identifying planets from the Star Wars universe based on cryptic clues.

Riddle #1: Release Year of Star Wars (25:00 – 27:07)

The first riddle prompts the hosts to recall the release year of the original Star Wars film.

Adol Rifai [25:39]: “...It was either 78 or 79. And I know that for a fact.”

John Patrick Collins [27:07]: “...You said 1977. So I was wrong.”

Ultimately, John Patrick Collins correctly identifies the release year as 1977.

Riddle #2: Planet Associated with a Sequel's Final Credits (26:54 – 27:40)

The next riddle asks about the planet mentioned during the final credits of Star Wars, leading to a discussion about Endor.

Adol Rifai [27:07]: “...The latest blockbuster left itself open for a sequel when the final credits said the blank.”

John Patrick Collins [27:09]: “...Is it Endor? Yes.”

Improvisational Skits Based on Riddles (27:40 – 50:00)

In response to the riddles, the hosts perform improvisational scenes that bring the clues to life. One notable skit involves Aaron Keefe attempting to pick up someone at a hypothetical podcast festival, incorporating Star Wars elements like Dagobah and Naboo.

Adol Rifai [37:27]: “...Hello. Excuse me. My ship broke down...”

Aaron Keefe [38:30]: “...There is no can. There is only Twix.”

These skits blend humor with Star Wars lore, enhancing the engagement for listeners familiar with the franchise.

Riddle #3: Fishing Pole on the Bus (65:04 – 67:46)

A listener named Simon submits a riddle about Kevin’s fishing pole dilemma. The hosts brainstorm various solutions before Adol Rifai reveals the answer.

Adol Rifai [57:00]: “...Upon opening the gift, Susie found a tailored lingerie set in sizes significantly different than herself...”

The answer involves Kevin purchasing a box to accommodate his fishing pole's length, aligning with the riddle's requirements.

Improvisational Courtroom Scene (67:46 – 69:36)

Following the riddles, the hosts engage in an extended improvisational scene where Aaron Keefe takes on the role of an accuser in a mock courtroom against John Patrick Collins (JPC) and Adol Rifai. This segment showcases their comedic timing and ability to create engaging narratives on the fly.

Aaron Keefe [68:00]: “...JPC did not accept my answer to a riddle and instead dragged me across the floor.”

Adol Rifai [69:02]: “...A long box. Jury, am I right? Jury of my peers. 12 deranged perverts...”

Riddles and Final Discussions (69:36 – 67:46)

The session continues with more riddles, including one about Susie's Valentine's Day gift leading to her filing for divorce. The hosts collaboratively work through potential answers before arriving at the correct solution, emphasizing their problem-solving skills.

Adol Rifai [57:39]: “...Upon opening the gift, Susie found a tailored lingerie set in sizes significantly different than herself.”

Aaron Keefe [59:03]: “...Aaron, you have got it correctly.”

Plugs and Episode Conclusion (69:36 – 72:14)

As the episode nears its end, the hosts move into promotional segments, encouraging listeners to join their Patreon for bonus content and reviews. While these segments blend seamlessly with the conversational style, they maintain the episode's entertaining flow.

Adol Rifai [69:42]: “...To join the clue crew for $5 a month or start your 7-day free trial...”

John Patrick Collins [71:07]: “...Quince.com Riddle to get free shipping and 365-day returns.”

Notable Quotes

• Aaron Keefe [06:57]: “If you think the guys sound the same, press 2.”

• Adol Rifai [32:24]: “...he had dark hair. Does that do anything?”

• John Patrick Collins [52:44]: “No, I'm not. But you made it.”

• Adol Rifai [57:59]: “Upon opening the gift, Susie found a tailored lingerie set in sizes significantly different than herself. The gift was intended for the mistress of the husband. Her husband had mistakenly given her the wrong gift.”

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Conclusion

Episode #369 of Hey Riddle Riddle masterfully blends Star Wars-themed riddles with improvisational comedy, showcasing the hosts' quick wit and deep knowledge of the franchise. Through engaging discussions and humorous skits, Adol Rifai, Erin Keif, and John Patrick Collins deliver an entertaining and intellectually stimulating episode that appeals to both riddle enthusiasts and Star Wars fans alike. The seamless integration of humor, problem-solving, and pop culture references makes this episode a standout addition to the podcast series.

Transcript

[Adol Refai]

This is a Headgum podcast. Aaron Adel, it is time for me to go back to my home. Thank you so much for teaching me what it is to be kind.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, don't go, don't go. Stay psilocybin.

[John Patrick Collins]

Stay psilocybin.

[Adol Refai]

No, it's actually okay. I just live in Canada. I live at Schedule 35, which is a Canadian based startup that ships across Canada and the U.S. and our mission is to educate and enrich lives with a deeper meaning and a better sense of self through microdosing psilocybin products.

[John Patrick Collins]

I thought Schedule 35 was his home planet. Aaron, it sounded so cool.

[Aaron Keefe]

Well, you've really changed my life.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah, honestly, you guys weren't really listening to much that I was saying. I gave you some samples of me and.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh no, I took them. An emerging movement around psilocybin is proven to help with mental health, ptsd, anxiety and depression. Studies have shown that psilocybin works by creating new neural networks in the brain which help boost focus, creativity, mood enhancement, and help fight addiction.

[John Patrick Collins]

Yeah, I know that a lot of times if I have to get work done and I'm having some sort of issue with focus or anxiety, I try Schedule 35's chocolates and they calm me down. They help me focus. Easy breezy. I get stuff done. No longer am I fretting about what's going on in the world.

[Aaron Keefe]

I like to take one of their gummies before I clean. And it's so nice, it makes it feel soothing and easy to focus on each task.

[Adol Refai]

Yes. And all products come with guides that make microdosing easy to understand. I just kind of thought that, you know, I'd give you some and maybe we would hang out. Not that we had to hang out, but I'm.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, I mean, you were riding in my bike basket.

[John Patrick Collins]

Yeah. Where's your accent from?

[Adol Refai]

Is that Canada? You told me to go to the store to get you snacks. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Our goal is to destigmatize and re educate on the science and real world benefits of psilocybin as well as making it accessible for everyone.

[John Patrick Collins]

You're right. Psilocybin. You silly. Psilocybin. Get 50% off with code RIDDLECHEDULE35CO. That's 15% off at Schedule 35CO. And use code riddle now. Aaron, let's go hang out without this freak.

[Aaron Keefe]

Bye.

[John Patrick Collins]

No offense.

[Aaron Keefe]

We love you.

[John Patrick Collins]

No offense.

[Adol Refai]

None. Take it. I'm a freak baby. The doctor was the mother. He stood on a block of ice. Both of them were goldfish. It was the cabin of an airplane. He stabbed him with an ice, and the horses seemed right.

[Aaron Keefe]

Thank you for calling. Hey, Riddle Riddle. If you know your party's extension, please press the numbers for that extension now. If you'd like to talk to a live representative, please press 0. If you'd like to file a formal complaint, press 3 or hang up now.

[Adol Refai]

3 3, 3, 3, 3, 3,. 3, 3, 3, 3.

[John Patrick Collins]

You've pressed 3 to file a formal complaint. Please, at the sound of the beep, leave your formal complaint. Any complaints that aren't formal will not be accepted.

[Aaron Keefe]

Beep.

[Adol Refai]

Two guys on the show sound the same. The girl's not funny. I don't like it when they're mean. I don't get any of the jokes. They don't get to the riddles fast than us.

[John Patrick Collins]

Ah, ah, ah. Your complaint won't be registered because it wasn't formal. If you'd like to try again, please hang up and go through the process.

[Adol Refai]

I wonder what happens if I just stay on the line. I don't really want to go through the whole thing all over again.

[Aaron Keefe]

It looks like you stayed on the line. Okay, if you'd like to file a formal complaint, press 3 now, but make sure it's formal.

[Adol Refai]

3, 3, 3, 3.

[John Patrick Collins]

You've pressed 3 to file a formal complaint. Please leave the complaint after the beep. But please note that it needs to be formal or else it will be deleted.

[Adol Refai]

Yep, got it.

[Aaron Keefe]

Beep.

[Adol Refai]

Hear ye, hear ye. Woman's not funny. Two guys sound the same. They're too mean. The riddles aren't very good. They get to them too late.

[John Patrick Collins]

I'm sorry. We're going to delete your complaint.

[Adol Refai]

Why?

[John Patrick Collins]

Saying hear ye, hear ye doesn't make it formal.

[Adol Refai]

What? What do we mean it doesn't make.

[Aaron Keefe]

Thank you for calling. Hey, Riddle Riddle. If you'd like to leave a formal complaint.

[Adol Refai]

Three, three, three.

[John Patrick Collins]

You've pressed three. Three, three, three, three, three.

[Aaron Keefe]

What does that.

[Adol Refai]

What does that do?

[John Patrick Collins]

You've unlocked a secret episode.

[Adol Refai]

Yes.

[John Patrick Collins]

Are your pants off, big boy?

[Adol Refai]

Yeah.

[Aaron Keefe]

Beep.

[Adol Refai]

Um, I don't know if. Am I supposed to just start or what's the episode?

[John Patrick Collins]

Or just start.

[Adol Refai]

Just start. Okay, cool.

[Aaron Keefe]

If you think the guys sound the same, press 2. If you think the woman's not funny, press 3. If you think they're too mean to each other, press 4. If you have any other complaint, hang up now.

[Adol Refai]

2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7. Just going through the whole thing. Hey, welcome to hey Riddle Riddle, the show where the guys Sound the same. They're too mean to the woman. The woman's not funny. They don't do enough riddles. The riddles take too long to get to. They're not very good when they do do them. Some of them aren't riddles and they talk about their personal lives too much.

[John Patrick Collins]

Thanks, Adol. That was great. I'm jpc.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm jpc and I'd make a joke, but it wouldn't be funny.

[Adol Refai]

And, you know, this is. Hey, riddle, Riddle. Hey, guys. It's episode 369.

[Aaron Keefe]

Woo.

[Adol Refai]

Nice.

[John Patrick Collins]

Oh, Aaron, it sounded like you weren't really into it.

[Aaron Keefe]

No, no, no, I got it. I can get enthusiastic. We've just hit a lot of these 69 milestones. It's hard to get excited. Woo. Woo.

[John Patrick Collins]

Better sound like a computer shutting down.

[Aaron Keefe]

Woo.

[Adol Refai]

I don't think you're getting as excited about putting someone else's genitals in your mouth as they put their genitals in your mouth. Is.

[Aaron Keefe]

Is that what 69ing is?

[John Patrick Collins]

Oh, great, here comes H.R. hey, H.R.

[Aaron Keefe]

Hey, bitches. Who's horny?

[Adol Refai]

Yeah. H.R.

[Aaron Keefe]

Is not.

[Adol Refai]

Hi. Hammer of riddle stands for horny robot.

[John Patrick Collins]

Horny robot. Oh, I love HR we have a.

[Adol Refai]

Horny robot that helps us with all of our complaints.

[John Patrick Collins]

Hmm. But we mostly do riddles and puzzles and lateral thinking problems, I guess.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah, sometimes we get to those. Sometimes we do get to those. And sometimes in some chances in this episode, we may in fact get to those. I don't know if we will, but we could.

[Aaron Keefe]

You know. Jpc, I'm ready to lock in right now. Hit me with the first riddle.

[Adol Refai]

I watched Terminator last.

[Aaron Keefe]

And I knew it. And I knew it.

[Adol Refai]

Terminator. Fantastic movie. I gotta say. The 1984 Terminator. Just a really great film. Yeah, I hadn't watched it in a long, long time. Now, some of the computer graphics do look a little, I mean, obviously, like, dated. But there's like, no dialogue in the first, like, 20 minutes of the film. And to me, that kind of is the mark of a good movie. Like, I do like when a movie trusts you enough to, like, be like, hey, we're just gonna say like, seven things in the first 20 minutes and just kind of like, let you get a sense for the world.

[John Patrick Collins]

I am curious how much of that was the script and how much of that was, like, day one of shooting. They're like, maybe we make Arnold the.

[Adol Refai]

Strong silent type, apparently. I also read that Arnold was originally applying for the role of Kyle Reese, like, the hero of that movie. But Jim Cameron sat with him and convinced him to take on the Terminator role instead. And apparently it worked. And Arnold was, like, convinced by it. But I don't know how hard it worked, because T2 judgment day. He was like, yeah, what if I'm the good guy? They're like, yeah, that's fine. You did your time.

[John Patrick Collins]

I just saw a thing that was James Cameron. The script said, I will be back. And Cameron was like, stop shortening it. It is I will be back. That is what the script says. That is what you will say. And Arnold kept being like, it's so much easier. It flows better to say, I'll be back. And he's like, let's do one. So Arnold will shut up and then move on. And then he saw it and he was like, shit. He was right.

[Adol Refai]

That's better. Yeah. I've been thinking about filmmaking recently and how fascinating it is to, like, what those different takes, like, do one for you. And then being like, wow, if I didn't say, do one for you, it would have completely changed the tone of this movie because. But I think that's more like a Judd Apatow's Terminator. A money decision too, right? Clint Eastwood is the one who always does one take. He's like, yeah, one take. We got it. Maybe not him performing one take, but as a director.

[John Patrick Collins]

As a director.

[Aaron Keefe]

Is that true? That's not enough takes. That's why I don't like his movies.

[Adol Refai]

You'd think, like, even just for, like, camera angles and stuff, you'd want to do, you know, things.

[John Patrick Collins]

Mr. East, we got the boom mic in the shot. It's fine.

[Adol Refai]

Fine. Keep a part of it.

[John Patrick Collins]

Aaron, I think. Can we set goals for each other?

[Aaron Keefe]

Sure.

[John Patrick Collins]

I think I would really like to see you with Linda Hamilton arms now.

[Aaron Keefe]

What does that mean?

[Adol Refai]

She's got Linda Hamilton arms.

[John Patrick Collins]

He got his image. Jojo, see what song Linda Hamilton is?

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, super strong. I see.

[John Patrick Collins]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay. Okay, I'll do that.

[John Patrick Collins]

Yeah. I feel like you already have. Like, you're already, like, buff, but I feel like I'm not buff. Linda Hamilton is the pinnacle, is, like, the apex of arms.

[Aaron Keefe]

I can do this. It will just be a ton of work.

[Adol Refai]

What about Sigourney Weaver and Alien? I feel like she's pretty buff in that, right?

[John Patrick Collins]

Yeah, that's fair.

[Adol Refai]

It's just kind of that similar era of, you know, the badass heroines of 80s action films, I guess. Wait, Alien was 70s?

[John Patrick Collins]

I think Alien was 80s.

[Adol Refai]

80S. Okay, okay.

[Aaron Keefe]

Was it?

[Adol Refai]

I know Aliens was 80s.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, it was 80s, right?

[Adol Refai]

I don't know. This is the part of being a cinephile that I am not capable of doing is knowing when movies came out.

[Aaron Keefe]

All right. When did 2001 A Space Odyssey come out?

[John Patrick Collins]

2001.

[Adol Refai]

That's such a trick question. Oh, fuck. It's gotta be 2001. It's gotta be 2001. Whoa.

[John Patrick Collins]

Alien. 1979.

[Adol Refai]

I thought it was 79.

[John Patrick Collins]

Yeah, yeah. Good job.

[Aaron Keefe]

When did Inside. Lewin Davis. You did come out Inside.

[Adol Refai]

Llewyn Davis came out in 2013. 12.

[Aaron Keefe]

I don't know the answer to that.

[Adol Refai]

We don't know. Nobody knows.

[John Patrick Collins]

Actually, came out 2013.

[Aaron Keefe]

2013.

[Adol Refai]

Wow.

[John Patrick Collins]

Aaron, for $1,000. What'd you say?

[Adol Refai]

Do you have a sense memory of that? Because you hit 2013 pretty fast.

[John Patrick Collins]

I have IMDb. I can't use Google, but I use IMDb. Aaron, for $1,000, sure. What year did Iron Giant come out?

[Aaron Keefe]

2002.

[John Patrick Collins]

I have to believe that's right.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah. We can't look it up.

[John Patrick Collins]

We can't look it up.

[Aaron Keefe]

I have to believe that's right.

[John Patrick Collins]

Let me send the Venmo.

[Adol Refai]

You just lost 1,000 bucks on that one.

[Aaron Keefe]

Thank you, Adel. I really needed this. Having a lot of medical stuff. I really.

[Adol Refai]

You know what I really needed A thousand bucks today. Thank you so much. This is like. I was having like a kind of a crappy morning, but, like, a thousand bucks truly makes me feel like a million bucks.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah.

[John Patrick Collins]

That turned everyone step.

[Aaron Keefe]

All right, here are some riddles I'm going to. Let's do it.

[Adol Refai]

Wait, wait.

[John Patrick Collins]

Are you Old Man Puzzles?

[Aaron Keefe]

Yep, I am. What is from 2002?

[John Patrick Collins]

Iron Giant.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, you got it.

[Adol Refai]

Does he get his thousand bucks back?

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, fuck. Yeah, he does. Woo.

[Adol Refai]

We actually have a lot of riddles to do on the show today. We have some. This is a riddle that was sent in all the way from ice.

[John Patrick Collins]

Mmm.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah. And Iceland's the one that's green and Greenland's the one that's ice. So just so everyone's clear, this is from a green place.

[John Patrick Collins]

Capital city. Wreck your shit. Iceland. I think that's what it's called.

[Adol Refai]

I believe so. This is from Emil. Emil writes, you are standing in the Garden of Eden. Before you are 10 beautiful, naked and nearly identical men standing side by side in a line.

[Aaron Keefe]

Is it my birthday? No, I don't mean that. I'm tired.

[John Patrick Collins]

Great. Here comes HR Everybody would be cool. Everybody.

[Adol Refai]

What would this birthday be, Erin?

[Aaron Keefe]

I don't know.

[Adol Refai]

Is the.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, I'm not all here. I'M not all here.

[John Patrick Collins]

And on the eighth day, God created thunder from down under.

[Aaron Keefe]

You want it? I need it.

[Adol Refai]

No, Aaron, it's not your birthday, but that's a really good guess. They have no facial expressions. They're all facing you and their poses are exactly the same. Although they look so like each other, you are able to spot in a second which of them is the real Adam without moving, communicating with him in any way, shape or form, and only using your eyes. How do you spot the real Adam?

[John Patrick Collins]

Missing a rib kind of hold. He's got like a big scar holding aside.

[Aaron Keefe]

He's got. Oh.

[Adol Refai]

Well, you know, I think out of that is a great guess. And is that. That's in the Bible that God took the rib out of Adam to make Eve.

[John Patrick Collins]

Couldn't tell you.

[Aaron Keefe]

I think that's in the squeakle of the Bible.

[Adol Refai]

I didn't do Bible. Curious in the Bible if that's like old folksy Bible wisdom that.

[Aaron Keefe]

No, he did. He took.

[Adol Refai]

He did. He took the rib.

[Aaron Keefe]

And then. This doesn't sound like women, but then Eve was the one who did the original sin. She's the one who fucked up. And I'm like, okay, I bet.

[John Patrick Collins]

And can I tell you something? Those 10 men, once, once God took the rib out of that one Adam, the other nine guys stood around and were like, oh, you should flip it. You should put more charcoal under the rib.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah.

[John Patrick Collins]

And he's like, no, I got it. I'm going to make a woman now.

[Adol Refai]

You see nine people and one of them is sucking themselves off and you're like, okay, so I think we know who lost the rib. Kind of out of angle though, right? Because if you don't take both out also.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, famously, women come from men and not the other way around. I'm pissed. I'm getting fired up.

[Adol Refai]

What come from men, Aaron? That's my experience.

[John Patrick Collins]

Oh, here comes HR Oh, God damn it.

[Adol Refai]

We had to fuck these robots.

[Aaron Keefe]

Women come from men, Aaron. That's my experience. Aaron. Aaron, please. Aaron. Is it a mirror? Is it a statue? Is it chest?

[Adol Refai]

No, it's not a rib. Rib is a good guess, but it's not rib. It's not. And again, you can't move. You can't communicate with him in any way. You're just using your eyes.

[John Patrick Collins]

What if I loved a book so much that I was like, everyone has to follow what this book says. What if I loved angels and demons so much that I just said, you know what?

[Adol Refai]

But you do.

[Aaron Keefe]

That's what I do. And that's what you do do?

[John Patrick Collins]

I'm trying to ask you guys, can angels and demons be our religion, please? Oh, I guess that's already fair. Sort of religious.

[Adol Refai]

You picked a book that, like, directly cribs off the Bible. Like, could this book tell me where.

[John Patrick Collins]

In the Bible it mentions angels and demons? I think Dan Brown invented something.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah, he goes to a church in that book, but it doesn't say what kind.

[Aaron Keefe]

Can you give me a hint?

[John Patrick Collins]

Is it a belly button?

[Adol Refai]

Adult's a belly button. The real Adam.

[Aaron Keefe]

And it's not from my shirt. I found a button. And it's not from a skirt. I found a button. It's a part of me. It's a button in the middle of my tummy. It's my belly button. It's my favorite song.

[Adol Refai]

God, I love Zooey Deschanel. It is. It is. The real Adam would have no belly button. That's so weird.

[John Patrick Collins]

Because he was a C section, right?

[Adol Refai]

Because he was a C section. And famously, people with C sections who are born from C sections don't have belly buttons.

[Aaron Keefe]

What was the ABC Family show where the guy didn't have a belly button?

[Adol Refai]

Kyle xy.

[Aaron Keefe]

Kyle xy.

[Adol Refai]

Elf also works.

[Aaron Keefe]

How many seasons do you think Kyle XY got and what year do you think it came out? 2002. Yeah.

[John Patrick Collins]

What the fuck is Kyle XY?

[Aaron Keefe]

Come on. Kyle XY.

[Adol Refai]

We've talked about it on the show before. I know we've talked about Kyle xy.

[John Patrick Collins]

Kyle xy.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah.

[Aaron Keefe]

He's like an alien without a belly button.

[John Patrick Collins]

What is this is a live action show?

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah.

[Adol Refai]

There's no fucking a live action show. Modern Family. It's a live action comedy.

[John Patrick Collins]

Well, Kyle XY sounds like an animated. It sounds like Ben 10 or something. So who are the stars in this show?

[Aaron Keefe]

No one. I remember. Kyle XY was like a brooding alien and he didn't have a belly button. And that's all I really know about it.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah, he had dark hair. Does that do anything? 2002?

[John Patrick Collins]

Does he never wear shirts on the show?

[Adol Refai]

I don't know if it was a big part of the show that he didn't have a belly button or if that was just kind of like teenage.

[Aaron Keefe]

Boys found wandering naked and dazed in traffic.

[Adol Refai]

That sucks.

[Aaron Keefe]

He's. That's the plastic savant who's missing instinctive human behavior, like joy, anger and love. A perfect protagonist. Someone who can't feel anything.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah, a naked psychopath.

[Aaron Keefe]

It was in 2006, four years after the Iron Giant. Giant, yeah. We actually didn't look up when The Iron Giant was.

[Adol Refai]

Guys, I know. We can't. We shan't deny it.

[Aaron Keefe]

We won't.

[Adol Refai]

Okay. Oh, you know what? Actually, I do want to see a quick scene. Aaron and I will be in the scene. And we have just found. Adol. Adol. You are kind of Terminator esque. A confused naked person with no belly button who we found kind of just wandering around outside. Excuse me, sir, do you need help?

[John Patrick Collins]

Backflip. Front door.

[Adol Refai]

Holy shit.

[Aaron Keefe]

Sorry.

[John Patrick Collins]

Comatose Exaggeration. Butter finger. Extradite.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, sir, we think you've probably had a stroke.

[Aaron Keefe]

Honey, is this one of your friends, honey?

[Adol Refai]

No, it's not one of my friends. I don't know this man.

[Aaron Keefe]

Is this one of your friends from the bowling league?

[John Patrick Collins]

Bowling league, honey? Bowling league friend.

[Adol Refai]

He's a confused man, and I'm just. He's wandering naked around outside.

[Aaron Keefe]

Sorry. Just seems a lot like one of your friends from your bowling league.

[Adol Refai]

Sorry, What?

[John Patrick Collins]

Sorry.

[Adol Refai]

Bowling makes it look like one of my bowling buddies. He's naked and he's confused.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, I mean, that's like sort of the vibe of your bowling. I know, I know. You're trying to get out there and make new friends. We moved to a different town. I'm just trying to be interested in your interests.

[Adol Refai]

First of all, I didn't know it was nude bowling. I'm trying to make new friends.

[Aaron Keefe]

Who are you trying to. Who are you trying to convince? It's okay.

[Adol Refai]

I didn't know. It made me super uncomfortable the first time I bowled. Have I gotten used to naked bowling? Yeah, I have. But only because I'm kind of putting myself out there. Which, by the way, you still are not doing. I mean, how many friends have you made in this town?

[Aaron Keefe]

Hey, that's a little below the. Sorry, this. Your friend is sort of wandering into the street. You want to grab him?

[Adol Refai]

He's not my friend. But guess what, Meredith? He could be. Excuse me, sir, do you want to.

[John Patrick Collins]

Would you like deep bowl naked bowling?

[Adol Refai]

Okay, so maybe. What's your name?

[John Patrick Collins]

Sari.

[Adol Refai]

So sorry. And I are gonna actually go to naked bowling right now. I know we were out going out to breakfast, but I think I'm gonna do some naked bowling with Sari. Because the guys are pretty much always down to naked bowl breakfast bowling.

[John Patrick Collins]

Harvest organs. Haha. Harvest organs.

[Aaron Keefe]

You're just gonna prove to me that it's easy for you to make friends. I'll make friends with this. Excuse me, miss, Are you busy?

[John Patrick Collins]

No, sorry.

[Adol Refai]

Yes, I'm very busy. I'm taking my child to the hospital.

[Aaron Keefe]

Um. Well, I'll go with you because we're new good friends.

[Adol Refai]

Get the fuck away from me. It's people like you that poisoned my child.

[Aaron Keefe]

All right. Heard and understood. I will find a different friend.

[Adol Refai]

Okay.

[Aaron Keefe]

Good luck and it will be easy.

[Adol Refai]

Sorry. Are you ready to naked bowl?

[John Patrick Collins]

Sorry. Naked bowling.

[Adol Refai]

It's good that I met this man who's not having a medical problem, and I'm gonna take to a naked bowling alley.

[John Patrick Collins]

Clean bill of health.

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay, where's his. If he's so normal, where's his belly button, huh?

[Adol Refai]

Oh, my God. How dare you look down there.

[John Patrick Collins]

Harvest organs.

[Aaron Keefe]

How?

[John Patrick Collins]

Harvest organs.

[Adol Refai]

You've offended him. Sorry. I apologize. Sorry.

[John Patrick Collins]

I apologize. Sorry.

[Adol Refai]

No, you don't have to apologize. You have nothing to apologize for. My wife is. I hate to say it, baby, but you're a bigot.

[Aaron Keefe]

What?

[John Patrick Collins]

Oh, what?

[Aaron Keefe]

No, I'm not.

[John Patrick Collins]

Show brain of this one. Show this one's brain.

[Adol Refai]

Show him your brain, Meredith. Whatever that means.

[Aaron Keefe]

Two plus five is six. Seven.

[John Patrick Collins]

Knowledge. Not brain. Brain. Please. Show brain.

[Adol Refai]

That's really kind of you. Sorry. That's really kind of you to say to her.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm gonna get on the train and get out of this scene. And you go. And you go bull. And have the best time.

[Adol Refai]

Okay? All right. Naked bowling. Who wants to finger me?

[John Patrick Collins]

Sorry.

[Aaron Keefe]

See? Sorry does. Okay, well seen.

[John Patrick Collins]

Guys, can we do that scene over? I realized I was just playing Nell the whole time.

[Aaron Keefe]

All right, we can do it over.

[Adol Refai]

I have to say, I think that if I was going to do any. Yeah, because bowling's not really a context sport. I think I could bowl naked.

[Aaron Keefe]

All right, let's actually think about this. If we're going to think about this, we're going to think about this.

[Adol Refai]

I mean, you don't want to get your. You can get anything caught in any sort of machine or pinched or anything. That's one risk. But I think I could be pretty careful about that.

[John Patrick Collins]

But it would be nice to have that little. The little air blower thing. It would be nice to kind of.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah, for sure. Anywhere on you, Aaron.

[Aaron Keefe]

You know, I do know, but what I'm thinking is that, you know that moment when you bowl and then you turn around and it. It's so vulnerable. Like when you look back at the group. Imagine doing that, and then also, you're naked.

[Adol Refai]

If you. If I. If I turn around after I get a strike and I'm naked, I will feel invincible. If I turn around and I get like a gutter ball or one.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, this is what I'm saying.

[Adol Refai]

Though I feel like I. It's gonna feel like maybe the worst feeling in the world.

[John Patrick Collins]

Yeah.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah. So. But naked golf, I feel like, is good. Naked mini golf, easy.

[Adol Refai]

Naked mini golf, yeah. Naked mini golf would be easy. But, see, bowling's indoors. If I'm completely naked outside, there are parts of me that never really see the sun. I feel like I'm gonna get concerned with how burned I'm gonna get on, like, places where I don't want to be burned. I'm talking about my dick and balls and ass.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah.

[John Patrick Collins]

Aaron, I gotta say, I think with bowling, it's a 50, 50 chance when you go to any bowling alley that it's gonna be cosmic bowling, which is like black light and being naked under blacklight.

[Aaron Keefe]

What are you fucking covered in cum? What do you mean? I'm concerned.

[Adol Refai]

Casey clipped that.

[Aaron Keefe]

Casey, do not clip that.

[John Patrick Collins]

That would be fun, is what I'm saying.

[Adol Refai]

Absolute clip of that. I remember I went to the Rainforest Cafe on, like. I think it was, like, a seventh or eighth grade trip. And they had, like, a blacklight poster corner in the Rainforest Cafe. And it was like, you could test it with a black light and see the poster. And there was a kid in my class who I won't name because there's no reason to. And when they turned the black light on his pants.

[Aaron Keefe]

No, no, no. Davey said, no, don't.

[Adol Refai]

The size of.

[Aaron Keefe]

Don't give me the worst news.

[Adol Refai]

The size of the stain on this kid's pants. And it was so egregious that no one even would, like, say anything. No one even made fun of me for it.

[Aaron Keefe]

That is so much worse. When you're at that precipice, when you've been humiliated. The only thing you hope for is that it's not so bad that people start making fun of you.

[Adol Refai]

Because it was either. Because it was a. It was. It was a point where we were like, what do we make fun of him for? Do we make fun of him for.

[John Patrick Collins]

Copious amounts of copious amounts?

[Adol Refai]

Is it. Is that. Is it a not washing the pants? What?

[Aaron Keefe]

What?

[Adol Refai]

Where's the angle on this? And I think everyone just decided, like, let's all just shake hands and agree that we don't need you.

[Aaron Keefe]

I would. If I were him. I'd be begging you to make fun of me.

[Adol Refai]

Please. Please kill me. Someone please kill me.

[Aaron Keefe]

Kill me.

[Adol Refai]

All right, here we go. Here's some new riddles. This is some riddles from Jamie Newton. Was I able to see Jamie's name? Doesn't matter. I already Did Jamie Newton from Toronto. I probably wouldn't have written down the last name in my document if I wasn't able to say it, but thank you, Jamie, for sending this in. Probably seven years ago. These are sandbox style puzzles where each answer is a planet from Star Wars. Doing a quick check in. How confident do you guys feel? And guessing riddle answers that are planets from Star Wars.

[Aaron Keefe]

I know one planet from Star Wars.

[John Patrick Collins]

I know one planet from Star Wars.

[Adol Refai]

I can't wait. Because there's more than one of these riddles. I believe there are six. All right, Star wars, what year?

[Aaron Keefe]

Which one?

[Adol Refai]

Star Wars. The Original Star Wars.

[Aaron Keefe]

74. 72. 74 years ago.

[John Patrick Collins]

76.

[Adol Refai]

It was either 78 or 79. And I know that for a fact. I just. I don't know which one it was because I remember the first Star wars came out in the 70s and the second one came out in the 80s.

[John Patrick Collins]

Imagine if Alien and Star wars came out the same year. Fucking space. What a space year.

[Adol Refai]

I do think that movies used to be better. Yeah, I think there were maybe like less movies or something back then. But it seems like if you look at, like, the best movies of, like 1979, you'll be like, oh, fuck.

[John Patrick Collins]

Like, yeah, what are the movies? 77 was Star Wars.

[Adol Refai]

It was 77. So I was wrong. Okay, here we go.

[Aaron Keefe]

And you said you were 100% sure. Can we actually. Casey, can you clip how confident JBC was a second ago?

[Adol Refai]

It was either 78 or 79. And I know that for a fact.

[Aaron Keefe]

And we're back. Thank you so much.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah, here we go. Buzz Kasey. 10,000%. 10,000% on the cum one too, though. Aaron. So new. Yeah, we'll have to wait until the end of the year to see who was right. He's probably gonna clip that. Ooh, too, because that's a very good ew. Okay. The latest blockbuster left itself. Left itself open for a sequel when the final credits said the blank. Is it Endor? Yes.

[John Patrick Collins]

Well, we both burned our one.

[Aaron Keefe]

I actually think I have one more.

[John Patrick Collins]

I do have one more.

[Aaron Keefe]

We have the same one more. I bet you a good job. Tatooine.

[John Patrick Collins]

Wait, where do the little Ewoks live?

[Adol Refai]

Don't burn them yet. We have to get to the Ewell. Let me at least read the prompt.

[John Patrick Collins]

Oh, jpc Is the Death Star a planet.

[Adol Refai]

I got the Death Star. Size of a star. If you try to pick up girls at podcast festivals, you're looking for love in blank places.

[Aaron Keefe]

Alderaan.

[John Patrick Collins]

Alderaan.

[Adol Refai]

Okay. You guys know More than you thought.

[John Patrick Collins]

Lamp a dove in Alderaan places.

[Adol Refai]

Okay. I want to see the scene. Aaron, you are going to be trying to pick. You're going to try picking someone up at a podcast festival. And this is a podcast festival. A hypothetical one, but you are there with. Hey, Riddle. Riddle. And you're kind of like, name dropping.

[Aaron Keefe]

Great. Do you want uppies? One, two, three.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, no, no. Sorry, I didn't know you were talking to me. No, I don't want uppies.

[Aaron Keefe]

Sorry. I get nervous meeting new people. How do you do? My name's Erin Keefe. I have been on podcasts before. I'm trying to think, hello, from the Magic Tavern. And then, hey, Riddle, Riddle.

[Adol Refai]

I don't really. I don't really know a ton of podcasts. I'm here with my friend.

[Aaron Keefe]

Your friend likes podcast?

[Adol Refai]

Yes, my friend's a huge. Yeah, I mean, comedy podcast. They like. They love them all.

[John Patrick Collins]

Oh, we talking comedy podcast. Hey, brother, we talking comedy podcast now.

[Aaron Keefe]

Who's this?

[Adol Refai]

I don't know. This is a beer line. I'm not sure who any of these. These people are. Yeah, yeah, it's a comedy podcast festival. We're.

[John Patrick Collins]

I'll be the judge of that.

[Adol Refai]

She. Yeah, she's on comedy podcasts.

[John Patrick Collins]

What?

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, I've been on Comedy Bang Bang, like, a couple times. Never done a great job.

[John Patrick Collins]

Jess McKenna. Were you Jess McKenna?

[Aaron Keefe]

No, I'm. No, no, I'm not Jess McKenna. Jess McKenna is not like a character.

[John Patrick Collins]

I think.

[Adol Refai]

I think she's a character. Yeah, she's a character. She's a cutout. Her and Zacharina are cut ups.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, they're funny, but I don't. She's not. She. She's a real person.

[John Patrick Collins]

Nobody on there is a real person.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah, that's kind of the format of the show. I don't even listen to podcasts. That I know that.

[Aaron Keefe]

You know what? I can't judge you because I came over here and tried to pick you up, you know?

[John Patrick Collins]

Well, nobody can judge me except for God and John Hodgman.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, I've met him once. He's nice.

[John Patrick Collins]

Okay, He's a character.

[Aaron Keefe]

Hey, guys, say we get out of here and we go.

[Adol Refai]

What the fuck?

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, we go upstairs.

[Adol Refai]

No, I'm asking you. Have you been on wtf?

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, no. And that ended, so.

[Adol Refai]

Or is ending. Does anyone know.

[Aaron Keefe]

You know what? Beers on Me Fellas.

[John Patrick Collins]

Is that the name of your podcast?

[Aaron Keefe]

No, but that is.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, I love the Beers on Me Fellas. Oh, my God, they're so funny.

[Aaron Keefe]

Even heard of that? They're funny. Funnier than me.

[John Patrick Collins]

The theme song is like, be on.

[Aaron Keefe]

Me and then do they go bears on me?

[John Patrick Collins]

They do.

[Adol Refai]

You've listened.

[Aaron Keefe]

No, I wish I had. That sounds awesome. God, this is actually the most successful social interaction I've had today.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, that's why you look so sad.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, I'm really flailing here.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, my God.

[John Patrick Collins]

Oh, my God, look, Nick Wagner's walking by. Oh, my God.

[Aaron Keefe]

He's nice, too. I've met him too. He's nice.

[Adol Refai]

No.

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay, you know what? I'm gonna get drunk and I'll see you guys later.

[Adol Refai]

This is the beer line. That's what we're all doing here. The psychotic Kill Bill fan spent weeks watching the actress come and go, figuring out how to blank ma.

[Aaron Keefe]

Uma Thurman. Is that a name from a Star wars planet?

[Adol Refai]

Well, you were right with Uma. It is Uma. How to blank Uma.

[Aaron Keefe]

Cat something. Uma.

[John Patrick Collins]

Tatooine.

[Adol Refai]

Watching someone come and go, figuring out how to blank Uma.

[Aaron Keefe]

Catch. Uma.

[Adol Refai]

It's not catch. What's another?

[John Patrick Collins]

Oh, 3:10 to you?

[Adol Refai]

No, a synonym for catch.

[Aaron Keefe]

Adel. I did like that a lot.

[John Patrick Collins]

Trap. Thank you.

[Aaron Keefe]

Trap.

[John Patrick Collins]

Trap. Cat.

[Aaron Keefe]

Catch.

[Adol Refai]

This is more like slang.

[Aaron Keefe]

Cot.

[Adol Refai]

Let's see. It's a three letter word. What's that?

[John Patrick Collins]

Nab. Nabooma.

[Adol Refai]

What's the planet?

[John Patrick Collins]

Tatooine.

[Aaron Keefe]

Tatooine.

[John Patrick Collins]

Nab. Nabula. Nab.

[Aaron Keefe]

Uma.

[Adol Refai]

This is Natalie Portman's character's from here.

[John Patrick Collins]

Oh, heaven. Are you an angel?

[Adol Refai]

Jar Jar Binks was born here. The birthplace of Jar Jar Binks. That guy.

[John Patrick Collins]

Who's the guy?

[Adol Refai]

Nab.

[John Patrick Collins]

Gungadin. Gunga. Gung.

[Adol Refai]

Nab.

[Aaron Keefe]

Uma. Nabuma. Nabooma.

[John Patrick Collins]

Nabuma.

[Adol Refai]

But Ma was part of it, so you gotta take the ma off.

[John Patrick Collins]

Nabumafu.

[Adol Refai]

Naboo.

[John Patrick Collins]

It's Naboo.

[Aaron Keefe]

Naboomafu.

[John Patrick Collins]

Naboomafu.

[Adol Refai]

It's Naboo. I will say the prequels were not well received Star wars movies, but Naboo was a pretty big fixture of those.

[Aaron Keefe]

First, I'm not a Star wars gal. I like. I like Andor. And that's the kind of. And Rogue One. And that's kind of the end of my list.

[Adol Refai]

You know that Eren. That's a pretty good list. Honestly, all things considered. The. The thing about Star wars is the first three are good. The prequels are all bad, and the last three, if taken in aggregate, are bad. So you're not missing much.

[Aaron Keefe]

I completely agree.

[John Patrick Collins]

What about Solo?

[Adol Refai]

Dude, Solo is another one. Like Episode seven, eight, and nine that I have seen one time and will probably never watch again.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, I never saw that.

[Adol Refai]

The only thing that I can tell you about Solo is that there is a scene where they're like, what's your name? And he's like, han. They're like, and you're all alone. We'll call you Han Solo. True. That's in that movie.

[John Patrick Collins]

I do remember that. And I was like, I hope they do that with every single other character.

[Aaron Keefe]

That's brutal.

[Adol Refai]

What's your name? Darth. Well, you look a little sick. Maybe we'll call you Plagueis. Darth Plagueis. Okay, you won't know this one and you maybe will. Okay, you won't know this one, but I'll do it. I fucking love bludgeoning paper mache animals until candy falls out. So I always spring for the blank yattas.

[John Patrick Collins]

Pin.

[Aaron Keefe]

Pin.

[Adol Refai]

Pin is part of it, but it's like the highest quality.

[John Patrick Collins]

Top.

[Adol Refai]

Not top. What's another way to say highest quality?

[John Patrick Collins]

Bespin.

[Aaron Keefe]

Best.

[Adol Refai]

It's Bespin.

[Aaron Keefe]

Bespin.

[John Patrick Collins]

Oh, like the little bikes that Matthew Broderick rides around on.

[Aaron Keefe]

What planet is that though?

[Adol Refai]

Well, it's the planet Bespin, Aaron.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, but what, like context wise, who's from there? What's the deal with it?

[Adol Refai]

Let's see. I haven't seen. Which one is Bespin? Bespin. I think that that is a 7, 8, and 9 1. Am I wrong? Is it the casino planet? Is Bespin the casino planet? It feels like it's a casino planet.

[John Patrick Collins]

Can you imagine a casino planet?

[Adol Refai]

Well, that's the thing with Star wars.

[Aaron Keefe]

Is you have to sort of imagine.

[John Patrick Collins]

Yeah, why not just have a casino? Doesn't have to be a whole planet.

[Aaron Keefe]

I mean, but if you got a bunch of extra planets lying around.

[John Patrick Collins]

Yeah, I guess so. Sort of like a Scientology situation.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, oh, oh, I'm confused. Bespin is the one where Cloud City is. Cloud City is on Bespin, which is.

[John Patrick Collins]

Where Lando Calrissian's from.

[Adol Refai]

The thing that Star wars does is instead of doing things like Earth, which has a ton of different biomes, every Star wars planet is just one biome. So they're like Tatooine desert. You know, bespin, clouds, Camino. Well, water. It's just like all water. Yeah.

[John Patrick Collins]

So is there a Mando and Orlando?

[Adol Refai]

There's a Mando and Orlando, and I think that that would be honestly a knockout. Disney plus Mando, Lando, Mando and Orlando.

[Aaron Keefe]

Is it a sitcom?

[Adol Refai]

Yeah, it's a sitcom. It's a multi cam.

[John Patrick Collins]

Orlando. And they're just kind of fun of roommates.

[Adol Refai]

He's like, mando, you left your veskar armor all over the place.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, yeah, we're in space.

[John Patrick Collins]

Mando just blows his brains out. Where's the. What's the band? The. Where's that at?

[Adol Refai]

Is that. That's on Tatooine, right? Moss. Espo.

[John Patrick Collins]

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah. Um, you know, okay, here. Here's one that I think that you probably will have heard of. I think if I give this one to you, you'll. You'll have heard of this. The doctor said if it doesn't feel better by twos, blank. Cuh. To the pharmacy for more painkillers.

[John Patrick Collins]

Dagobah.

[Adol Refai]

Dagobah.

[John Patrick Collins]

Dagobah. Mi say Dagobah.

[Adol Refai]

It is Dagobah, which is the. Can anyone tell me what the Biomon Dagobah is?

[John Patrick Collins]

That's swampland.

[Aaron Keefe]

That's swampland.

[John Patrick Collins]

Yoda's a little swamp frog.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, Yoda's a little swamp frog. I knew that one. It's easy.

[John Patrick Collins]

I do want to see a scene.

[Adol Refai]

Is he from there? I think he just like, hid there, right?

[John Patrick Collins]

I think he lives in the swamp.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah.

[John Patrick Collins]

I think he's embarrassed and he's like, just visiting.

[Adol Refai]

I am not my home.

[Aaron Keefe]

This is clearing mugs.

[John Patrick Collins]

Yoda, I just saw a pillow in it. See? Nothing you did.

[Aaron Keefe]

No throw pillows.

[Adol Refai]

Here. Brought these postcards on fridge from home. I dude, do this while traveling.

[John Patrick Collins]

Yoda, I just saw a frog in lingerie. Hop away.

[Aaron Keefe]

No, no, no.

[John Patrick Collins]

Lingerie and frog. I do want to see a scene.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yes.

[John Patrick Collins]

Aaron, you are a. What is Yoda?

[Aaron Keefe]

Whatever that is. A puppet.

[Adol Refai]

They've never said. A lot of Star wars aliens have names, but, like, Yoda is just a Yoda type alien. Basically. Yeah.

[John Patrick Collins]

Aaron, you're a Yoda type, and you're on Dagobah. And JPC is just sort of a random traveler whose ship broke down. And you're gonna interact with him.

[Adol Refai]

Great. I don't think there's anything on this star system, and I just can't fix the ship myself. Oh, hello. Excuse me.

[Aaron Keefe]

Adel, you can't be laughing at how bad I am at this.

[Adol Refai]

Hello? Did someone say something? Excuse me. My ship broke down. I'm. I'm trying to get back to space, which is where I live.

[Aaron Keefe]

With that attitude, it might be hard for you to get back up in the air.

[Adol Refai]

Oh. Oh, hi. My name is. Let's see, Star wars name. Jorg Babadoo. And I'M trying to get back to space. Do you have anything that could help me fix my ship? Or are you from here? I'm sorry. I don't want to see you. Sure.

[Aaron Keefe]

I make you nervous. I do. You nervous talking. You never seen a yoga with an open robe before?

[Adol Refai]

A yoga with an open Yoda with.

[Aaron Keefe]

An open road before?

[Adol Refai]

Yeah, I would say it's.

[Aaron Keefe]

My robe is open. I'm Yoda.

[Adol Refai]

It's very open. But no, that's fine. I mean, you know, I'm used to all different life forms and all kinds of genitalia, so it's not. That's not a problem. Yeah, I just trying to. Hey, actually, can you not. Can you not eat those? Those are my Twix. I was saving those for sustenance.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yoda, I just need to get energy to fix ship.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, so you can fix my ship? You know how to. You know how to fix starships?

[Aaron Keefe]

There is no can. There is only Twix.

[Adol Refai]

Well, there actually is a can. It's the Dr. Pepper that you're drinking. And you. You got that out of my cockpit? I actually. Yeah, I was gonna. I was. You. You go ahead. You're salivating a lot into it, so you. You go ahead and finish that.

[Aaron Keefe]

So what is your deal?

[Adol Refai]

Oh, I'm married. I'm. Yeah, I'm super. I'm super married.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm not hitting on. Your jaw's. Not hitting on.

[Adol Refai]

You kind of broke your format there. Kind of maybe getting flustered. I'm sorry. Yeah, I didn't.

[Aaron Keefe]

Hey, listen, man, I have to be honest with you. You landed and I started talking and I panicked and I picked a voice that was not sustainable.

[John Patrick Collins]

I never. Obviously, I know it's the same actor, but I never noticed how thin a membrane there is between Yoda and Miss Piggy.

[Adol Refai]

Hiya.

[John Patrick Collins]

Truly the thinnest of membranes.

[Aaron Keefe]

I love when Yoda fights with his lightsaber. It's so funny. He's like, leaping so high.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah.

[John Patrick Collins]

Doing 20 flips.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah, they really ruined Yoda as a character in those prequel movies. Okay, let's do one more and then we'll take a break. Whoa. Late for a break, but we'll still take one.

[John Patrick Collins]

Oh, wait, what are the things that go ootini? Jawa.

[Adol Refai]

Jawas.

[John Patrick Collins]

Those are the best things.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah. Just had to say that jawas are great.

[Aaron Keefe]

I like the stressed out animals from the new ones that are like.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, the porgs.

[Aaron Keefe]

Porgs. I love the porgs.

[John Patrick Collins]

Which isn't. I think I heard from a guy who works at ILM Is that they shot somewhere and there was, like, puffins everywhere. And they're like, we can't, like, we can't, like, eliminate the puffins, so we just have to, like, animate on them or something. Yeah, that's awesome. That's how they bore the borgs.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah. I think what Star wars, where it really shines, is making little weirdo creature things. But they should be puppets. They should be practical effects. Yeah, don't get me started on puppets. Okay, here we go. Here's the last one. I think you're gonna get this one. Brian, the famous music producer, couldn't remember the name of Russia's greatest pop duo until someone said blank O Tatooine.

[Aaron Keefe]

Tatooine. Tatooine.

[John Patrick Collins]

All the things you said all the.

[Aaron Keefe]

Things you said Running through my head Running through my head Running through my head.

[Adol Refai]

And why don't you run some ads through your head? Right? That's something. Hey, Adol. Aaron. Did you know that a lot of people aren't aware of how much they spend each month? Do you? Let me ask you a question. Do you guys know how much subscriptions you pay for? What about how much you spend on takeout or delivery? It's probably more than you think.

[John Patrick Collins]

Rather not look.

[Adol Refai]

Well, you don't have to look. Well, I guess you do have to look. You just don't have to look. In your mind. You have to look at an app, because there's an app designed to help you manage your money better. And that app is Rocket money.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yes. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitor your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings.

[John Patrick Collins]

Rocket Money's 5 million members have saved a total of 500 million in canceled subscriptions, with members saving up to $740 a year when they use all of the app's premium features. I just found out that I've been paying one of the Backstreet Boys $100 a week.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, me too. That's so crazy.

[Adol Refai]

Okay, which one? You say on three. On three you say the backstreet boy. You've been paying a million or a hundred dollars a week. One, two, three, tall one. Rocket Money shows you all your expenses in one place, including subscriptions you forgot about. If you see a subscription you no longer want, Rocket Money will help you cancel it. Lachey away. Their dashboard lays out your total financial picture, including bill due dates and pay dates, in a way that's easy to digest. You can even automatically create custom budgets based on your Past spending.

[Aaron Keefe]

It's like having a little assistant in your pocket.

[Adol Refai]

Myrocket Money's like. It looks like you need a new category for giving money directly to Chris Kirkpatrick.

[John Patrick Collins]

So cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney.com Riddle today. That's RocketMoney.com Riddle RocketMoney.com Riddle Howie.

[Adol Refai]

Howie gonna stop paying for all these subscriptions.

[Aaron Keefe]

Is that one of the Backstreet Boys?

[Adol Refai]

Howie could have been from NSync.

[John Patrick Collins]

Lachey away.

[Adol Refai]

Oh. Oh, my back is hurting so much bad.

[John Patrick Collins]

Oh, jpc, did you lift with your legs?

[Adol Refai]

Always or never. It's one of them.

[Aaron Keefe]

Jpc, are you carrying the podcast on your back or something like that?

[Adol Refai]

Okay. I feel seen. This is so nice for someone else to bring it up. Oh my God. I don't know.

[Aaron Keefe]

I was trying to roast him and now what do I do?

[Adol Refai]

You know, the thing is, do you guys ever feel like managing your business finances is a full time job on top of your actual full time job? Now imagine in this instance we had an actual full time job. Let's see, maybe I splice this copy up. Do you ever feel like managing your business finances a full time job on top of recording a podcast every couple hours once a week?

[John Patrick Collins]

Yeah. Yeah, I guess so. I mean, but that is why I started using Found. Jpc.

[Adol Refai]

Oh yeah. Found is a business banking platform that lets you effortlessly track expenses, manage invoices, and prepare your taxes. You can even set aside money for different business goals and control spending with different virtual cards.

[Aaron Keefe]

One Found user said Found is going to save me so much headache. It makes everything so much easier. Expenses, income, profits, taxes, invoices even. And found has 30,000 five star reviews just like this. Oh, and by the way, other small businesses are loving Found too. It's not just us. It's not just us.

[Adol Refai]

It's other small businesses. Like hello from the Magic Tavern. Or yes, yes, Bill Butts, Gump Shoes and Dragons.

[John Patrick Collins]

Gump Shoes and Dragons.

[Adol Refai]

And these are just ones that I know off the top of my head.

[Aaron Keefe]

Just hay Riddle Riddle.

[John Patrick Collins]

Just Peanut Criddle. Hey Riddle. Riddle.

[Adol Refai]

Hey Riddle Riddle. And just Peanut Crittle. And we use that and we think that you should too. If you have a small business. This is a great tool. So open a Found account for [e-mail] that's f o u n d dot com. Found is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking services are provided by Piedmont bank member fdic. Don't put this one off. Join thousands of small business owners who have streamlined their finances with found jpc.

[Aaron Keefe]

Do you need help carrying that podcast? Do you need a little help?

[Adol Refai]

It's actually not heavy at all.

[Aaron Keefe]

Jpc. What happened?

[Adol Refai]

I just. I cut myself again on some of my closet staples.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, jpc.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah, I'm closet full of staples because I've heard that it's like good to like.

[John Patrick Collins]

You stapled all your clothes you're gonna need. Oh boy.

[Aaron Keefe]

I think that you're thinking of closet staples, like clothes that you can wear a lot that look good with other things. I get mine from Quince.

[John Patrick Collins]

How many have you heard of Quince? They have closet staples you want to reach for over and over carefully. Like cozy cashmere and cotton sweaters from just $50, breathable flow knit polos and comfortable lightweight pants that somehow work for both weekend hangs and dressed up dinners. I'm wearing some right now.

[Adol Refai]

Wee. Oh, okay. I think I have guys. I think this is another one of my classic mix em ups where I've fundamentally misunderstood the assignment 100%.

[Aaron Keefe]

And guess what? With quints, everything is half the cost of similar brands. By working directly with top artisans and cutting out the middleman, Quint's gives you luxury pieces without the markups. My sheets are from Quint's. That's why I look so well rested.

[Adol Refai]

That's why you're always wearing sheets.

[Aaron Keefe]

These are real clothes.

[Adol Refai]

Those are real clothes. Okay.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh my God.

[Adol Refai]

Okay, great. Nope. And I'm getting it. I actually know quints and I love quints because I have a lightweight hoodie from Quint's that I wore to our Portland show, our Seattle show, and here in la, it is wonderful. It's my favorite item of clothing that I own.

[Aaron Keefe]

And Quince only works with factories that use safe, ethical and responsible manufacturing practices in premium fabrics and finishes.

[Adol Refai]

So you don't even have to feel.

[Aaron Keefe]

Bad when you're wearing your hoodie.

[Adol Refai]

So stop covering your wet naked body with staples from the staple store.

[Aaron Keefe]

What the heck?

[John Patrick Collins]

Use a towel.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah, maybe. Maybe somebody else did. The call to action. Mine's all messed up.

[John Patrick Collins]

Keep it classic and cool with long lasting staples from quince. Go to quince.comwoodor for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's Q-U-I-N C E.com Riddle to get free shipping and 365 day returns.

[Aaron Keefe]

Quince.com Riddle and let me grab that stapler from you.

[Adol Refai]

No, no, no. I need this for my clothes.

[Aaron Keefe]

Nope.

[John Patrick Collins]

Quince. It's quite comfortable.

[Aaron Keefe]

Hell yeah. Yes. Abel.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah. Babelfreak. Babu Freak.

[Aaron Keefe]

Here. Hey, Riddle. Riddle.

[John Patrick Collins]

New host.

[Aaron Keefe]

Babu Freak. He panicked and chose that voice.

[Adol Refai]

Do you think Babu Freak is ever going to get his own spin off? I hope so.

[John Patrick Collins]

Babu Freakon.

[Adol Refai]

I love me some Babu Freak.

[John Patrick Collins]

Babu Freak on. He was the best part of that whole.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah. Easily the best part of a bad series of movies. It's hard because I think that I liked eight and there are parts of seven that I think are good, but nine was such a disaster that I kind of like, take that whole trilogy and throw it in the garbage.

[John Patrick Collins]

You know, it's like, who's handling the next one?

[Adol Refai]

I don't think. Is there going to be next ones? I thought that they were done.

[John Patrick Collins]

I thought they're done with Star Wars.

[Adol Refai]

Well, for now, but they keep. There was a while where they would keep announcing movies and then shelving them and then, like, announcing movies and then shelving them. So I don't know.

[John Patrick Collins]

Can I say Wes Anderson?

[Aaron Keefe]

I would love. And Orson. That's fun.

[John Patrick Collins]

Wes Anderson. Give Wes Anderson the reins to a new Star Wars.

[Aaron Keefe]

I fuck with that.

[John Patrick Collins]

Yeah, fuck with that.

[Adol Refai]

I think what you should do is give someone some actual reigns. Because I do think that a lot of times you see these, like, Disney properties or Marvel properties or whatever, big studio properties, and they are just, like, fucking demolished with there's no auteurs anymore. It's all, like, studio heads that are, like, dropping their little, you know, feedback inside of them and then.

[Aaron Keefe]

Too many coats.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah, it's like an amalgamation of, like. It's nothing.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'd like to see a scene, actually.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, please.

[Aaron Keefe]

Jpc, you're a really great artist who grew up loving Star wars, and you've been tasked with directing the new one, and me and Adol are going to be studio execs giving terrible opinions.

[Adol Refai]

So I think the biggest problem with 7, 8, and 9 is that I think people really wanted for Rey to not really have any connection to the Earth.

[Aaron Keefe]

Let me stop you right there.

[Adol Refai]

Great.

[Aaron Keefe]

Data shows that we should make a tank made out of lightsabers.

[John Patrick Collins]

That shoots lightsabers. Does that make sense?

[Aaron Keefe]

That shoots lightsabers?

[Adol Refai]

Yeah. No, that's super doable. Especially because that's kind of like ancillary to the story that I'm telling. So we're definitely gonna have battles.

[John Patrick Collins]

Star battles ancillary. Write that, Deborah. Write that down as a name. Ansel. Larry.

[Aaron Keefe]

Ansel. Larry. He's like a mechanic and he's on the planet and his hands are covered in sand. Ladies love it when A man has hands covered in sand.

[John Patrick Collins]

Yeah. And his legs are lightsabers.

[Adol Refai]

Sure. No, maybe it could be, like, a. Yeah, we can work a lot of, like, background characters into this, because I think that fleshing out the world with interesting aliens is also, like, kind of part of what I love about fleshing out aliens.

[Aaron Keefe]

They should be eating the other aliens.

[Adol Refai]

Yes.

[Aaron Keefe]

Ladies love cannibals. Yeah.

[Adol Refai]

I think we're gonna do, like, a cantina scene, I think, where we maybe.

[John Patrick Collins]

Like, a walking sarlacc pit.

[Adol Refai]

Interesting. A walking sarlacc pit.

[John Patrick Collins]

Yeah.

[Adol Refai]

Yes.

[Aaron Keefe]

I would say a margarita. Can you guys. I feel like I could go for a margarita right now.

[Adol Refai]

Sure. Yeah. Is that order for the rumors? That's something you want to see at Stalker War.

[John Patrick Collins]

Deborah, write this down as a name.

[Aaron Keefe]

Sure.

[John Patrick Collins]

Margo. Rita. Margot.

[Aaron Keefe]

Rita. Margot Robbie plays a robot. BB8 has a love interest, and her name is Margot Robbie.

[Adol Refai]

I think casting decisions are, like, something that I definitely want as much input as possible in, because I think that's really important to kind of see as many people as possible.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, we'll tell you who we cast.

[John Patrick Collins]

Yeah, we'll tell you who we cast. And even if you cast. Shirt.

[Adol Refai]

Sure.

[John Patrick Collins]

Jeff Goldblum's been at the top of our list for a while. Just keep in mind that whoever you cast, even if it's someone as charismatic as Jeff Goldblum or Ray, we do need them to be as stoic as possible.

[Adol Refai]

Great. Yeah. I wasn't actually even intending on putting Rey in this movie. I thought maybe we could kind of start fresh. Goldblum. Yeah. I loved him in some of the Thor movies. I think that there's definitely some, you know, the kind of appeal of. Of Jeff Goldblum could work in a variety of different roles. Can I just kind of give you my overarching pitch for what I think these three movies should be about? Maybe we could start there.

[Aaron Keefe]

That'll stop you right there. These are gonna be tiktoks, okay?

[Adol Refai]

Tiktoks as a format. And those are gonna be kind of shorter.

[John Patrick Collins]

The Jedi dog.

[Aaron Keefe]

Jedi dog.

[John Patrick Collins]

We got it.

[Aaron Keefe]

His bones. A lightsaber. And that's lunch, everybody.

[John Patrick Collins]

Can I go fetch? They say go Force. Yeah.

[Adol Refai]

I'm still getting 30 million, right?

[John Patrick Collins]

No, you're getting 45 million.

[Adol Refai]

Everything you've said is in. It's in.

[Aaron Keefe]

All the movie is a seed.

[John Patrick Collins]

And points.

[Adol Refai]

There's nothing that I love so much that I wouldn't ruin for everyone else. For $45 million.

[Aaron Keefe]

No. Maybe something.

[Adol Refai]

What? What could it be? No, like. No, like, intellectual Property that I care about. I would make the worst, the goddamn worst, like, Transformers movie on the planet for you guys.

[Aaron Keefe]

You guys, I have a new Internet video that made me cry laughing. It is so hard to cry laughing when you're alone. It's so rare. There is a video. I'm. I'm fucking. My face hurts just thinking about it. There's a video with. There's so many layers to it. Adelaide, I think, did I send you this? I meant to.

[Adol Refai]

It is a dog pukes bees on roller coasters.

[John Patrick Collins]

So you've seen it?

[Adol Refai]

Oh, I love it.

[Aaron Keefe]

I love the Internet. I can't stop watching dog pukes bees on roller coaster. You guys know there is. It is a birth announcement, and it is a woman, I think, telling her friend or her sister that she's pregnant, but she decides to tell her at Universal Studios while they're meeting a Transformer.

[John Patrick Collins]

Is this one of the Transformers who is able to, like, improvise and, like, say sassy things.

[Aaron Keefe]

It can, like, move and they're, like, posing, and she goes, I'm pregnant. And her sister whips her head around or whatever, and the Transformer whips his head down and at her, and it looks like he's scared that it's his. And I. Oh, you guys. I just, like, tears were streaming down my face. I watched it like, 40 times.

[Adol Refai]

You probably don't have great peripheral in those costumes, so maybe the first thought would be like, oh, shit, is it mine? Who is this person?

[John Patrick Collins]

I almost sent you a TikTok last night, Aaron. Which is because I was very high and I was like, I think Aaron would like this. It's like a college production of Beauty and the Beast, and someone is in a full Lumiere costume, and they eat shit. Like, they fall eat shit. And they're obviously hurt, but they try and continue to dance. So it's them on their back with their legs moving to the dance routine. And then, like, several stagehands come out to try and pick them up, but they can't quite pick them up.

[Aaron Keefe]

No, no, no, no, no.

[John Patrick Collins]

It's incredible.

[Aaron Keefe]

You gotta send it to me.

[Adol Refai]

You gotta not. There's no show must go on after something like that. Like, if you can't get yourself up, don't try to dance on the floor. That's so sad.

[John Patrick Collins]

Yeah, I think I just played. I feel like I would just act dead to be, like, the only way to get through this is to be like, this is incredibly severe versus, like, I'm hurt, but I'll be fine.

[Adol Refai]

All of those Shows have a main curtain that can be pulled. I think if that happens to me, I just turn my head to the side and yell, pull the curtain. Pull the curtain. Pull the curtain. Pull the curtain. And I don't stop yelling that until the curtain has been pulled. Because for me, now, the show is over.

[John Patrick Collins]

Yeah.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm trying to find the original. The original might have gotten taken down, so I have to search for it.

[Adol Refai]

But, oh, man, I still got taken down. It violated the TikTok policy of surprising a Transformer, so it got taken down pretty immediately.

[Aaron Keefe]

All the best videos have been taken down because it's all surprising. Transformers.

[Adol Refai]

Here's a riddle from Molly. Okay. Molly writes, susie receives an expensive, thoughtful gift bought by her husband for Valentine's Day. After opening it, she immediately files for divorce. Why?

[John Patrick Collins]

Susie receives an incredibly thoughtful and expensive gift.

[Adol Refai]

It's expensive and thoughtful. Yeah.

[Aaron Keefe]

It's a necklace that's engraved with another woman's name.

[Adol Refai]

Ooh. Aaron, you have basically landed on the answer. Except I will say that's not correct. But it's in the right spirit.

[Aaron Keefe]

The card is.

[Adol Refai]

But there's nothing with anyone else's name on it, so I can't give it to you because I feel like name is the operative part of that guess. But it's like you're in the right ballpark.

[John Patrick Collins]

It's a locket. It's a diamond locket with somebody else's picture in it.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah.

[Adol Refai]

No, there's no image, and there's no name associated with it or anything like.

[John Patrick Collins]

That other woman's finger.

[Adol Refai]

None of those things.

[John Patrick Collins]

Okay. It's a trip.

[Adol Refai]

It's a trip. Okay. I like this. I like where you're going with this. It's not correct, but. Let's let him cook a little bit.

[John Patrick Collins]

No. Just saying, like, whoa, what a trip.

[Aaron Keefe]

It's like the size of something that is sized for a different person.

[Adol Refai]

Aaron, that's correct. You have got it. You have landed on it correctly. You have a cheater's instinct.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, thank you.

[Adol Refai]

Compliment.

[Aaron Keefe]

Wait, what?

[Adol Refai]

Upon opening the gift, Susie found a tailored lingerie set in sizes significantly different than herself. The gift was intended for the mistress of the husband. Her husband had mistakenly given her the wrong gift.

[John Patrick Collins]

Whoa.

[Aaron Keefe]

Classic.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah, I know. What a fucking asshole.

[John Patrick Collins]

I do want to see a scene.

[Adol Refai]

Yes.

[John Patrick Collins]

Jpc. You've gotten Aaron a gift, and upon opening it, she realizes that you're cheating on her.

[Adol Refai]

Okay. Yeah. I know that you're not, like, a big birthday person.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm so excited. I'm gonna tear this open. This is Beautiful wrapping paper, too. Amazing. Oh, my God.

[Adol Refai]

I can't take credit for that. They. They gift wrapped it at the store. I'm. I'm all thumbs when it comes to wrapping presents.

[Aaron Keefe]

Sorry. This is a. This is a flannel shirt.

[Adol Refai]

Yes.

[Aaron Keefe]

This is sort of the type of thing that Adol would.

[John Patrick Collins]

Love.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, you know Adol?

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, we co host a podcast together. Oh, you're actually on that too? It's the three of us.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, my God, I forgot. Hey, well, you know what? No worries. No need to go through, like, the pocket on the flannel shirt or anything like that. I will take that back because obviously the guy at the store. Don't go through the pocket. Don't go through the pocket.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm going through the pockets.

[Adol Refai]

Okay.

[Aaron Keefe]

Wow. Joints, Cat treats.

[Adol Refai]

Is there a full?

[Aaron Keefe]

Ice cream cones.

[Adol Refai]

Wow. And there's a thin mint in there.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah, there's a thin mint with foie gras on it. Okay. Yeah. Something I famously love. Yeah.

[Adol Refai]

The guy at the store was eating a thin mint with foie gras on it when I bought this, which is not the thing that I even bought, so I'm gonna go fucking beat the shit out of that guy. Obviously, he helped me.

[Aaron Keefe]

You're gonna commit so hard to that. He made a mistake that you're gonna beat the shit out of him. Go ahead, I'll watch. I'm coming with you.

[Adol Refai]

He was huge. Okay, let's do it.

[Aaron Keefe]

Here we go.

[Adol Refai]

Excuse me.

[John Patrick Collins]

Yes, Can I help you?

[Aaron Keefe]

JPC is about to beat the shit out of you.

[Adol Refai]

Hold on. I think there was actually a smaller guy working here. I was here earlier. Was there a smaller guy? Please?

[John Patrick Collins]

Well, I'm 6 11. There is Little Tony, who's 6 10. 6 10, 425.

[Adol Refai]

No, you're fine. You. It was you. It was this guy. You gave me the wrong gift when I was here earlier. And so now, because you've made my friend so mad by having the wrong gift on her birthday, which she doesn't really care about. Right?

[Aaron Keefe]

I do now.

[Adol Refai]

She does now. Good. So I'm gonna have to beat your ass.

[Aaron Keefe]

Stop talking about it. Just do it.

[Adol Refai]

Well, we can't do it in here, obviously, because this is your work. So we'll have to take this outside.

[Aaron Keefe]

No, it says fighting allowed. The sign says fighting allowed. Okay.

[John Patrick Collins]

Picks up guy by the back of his shirt, folds him in half like Reacher puts him in trunk.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, he just did that to a guy who had nothing to do with this. What's he gonna do to me? Actually, you know what? I'm gonna call the authorities, maybe get you arrested for that murder. Then maybe this whole thing kind of results gpc.

[Aaron Keefe]

Just admit it. You were thinking about Adol the whole time. You were buying me a birthday gift. Aaron, call him.

[Adol Refai]

I'm so offended by the accusation. Okay. I nearly forgot which one of you was which. Is that a crime?

[Aaron Keefe]

That's so much worse.

[Adol Refai]

Most of the guys on the podcast sound the same to me.

[Aaron Keefe]

You're one of the guys, though.

[Adol Refai]

Now who's being the one who is in trouble? Yeah, well, sorry, Aaron. I got you the wrong fucking gift. What are you gonna do about it?

[Aaron Keefe]

I don't mean it was in a scene, so I can't be too mad.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah, and you don't care about birthdays.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm starting getting mad at you guys for stuff that you do in scenes in the same way that people get mad at their significant other when they bad things in dreams.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, God, that's the best shit.

[Aaron Keefe]

I'm gonna be like, I'm really pissed at Adol. He threw me into the sky the other day.

[John Patrick Collins]

Based on that, are we now gonna say that if you die in a scene, you die in real life?

[Aaron Keefe]

Okay.

[Adol Refai]

I hope so.

[John Patrick Collins]

Freddy Krueger rules.

[Aaron Keefe]

Stakes just got a little higher, boys.

[Adol Refai]

This is. Okay, this is your last riddle of the day. This is a riddle from Simon. Simon says, hey, do it.

[Aaron Keefe]

Do it.

[Adol Refai]

I didn't. Well, I didn't say Simon says.

[Aaron Keefe]

You did say Simon says.

[Adol Refai]

But I did. I saw some kids in the park playing Simon says the other day, and it looked like a real hoot. They were having a fucking blast doing it. Oh, can I also say, look, it's summertime in Chicago. I generally don't spend a lot of time, like, in midday in the park. Or I haven't as an adult. But now that I have a kid and we go to the park all the time, I'm spending more time in the park in midday. It is inexcusable for all of these old men to be walking around in the park so close to children without their shirts on. I think that a lot more men need to, like, be ashamed to put their fucking shirts on.

[Aaron Keefe]

Cause, like, men have no shame, though.

[Adol Refai]

I know. It's such a gross double standard. Cause it's like, oh, it's hot outside. It's like everyone outside is hot. You know, you gotta put a fuck put. The rules have to be the same for everyone or no one. You can't be like, women have to wear shirts at all times, but men they can just do whatever they fuck they want.

[Aaron Keefe]

Yeah. It's the equivalent of standing up on an airplane right when you land, and people are like, oh, no. It's just that my legs hurt. And I'm like, everyone's legs hurt.

[Adol Refai]

I. I feel. I feel weird, like, being in the middle of a summer camp full of kids because that's like, there's always summer camps going on in the park. And I have a kid who's there, like, interacting with the playground, but just to be like some old weirdo who's like, not wearing any clothes. And it's just like walking so close to these kids. I'm like, hey, man, get the fuck out of here.

[Aaron Keefe]

Tbc. Have you ever looked up and it's you from the future.

[Adol Refai]

Can I tell you about my favorite guy that's at the park? There's a guy, I see him all the time. He wears a big. And this is in Chicago, but he wears a big Make America Great Again hat. And he wears a T shirt. It's always the same T shirt. It is a T shirt of Biden smiling, wearing a hat that says Trump. So he's wearing a Make America Great hat, and he has a T shirt of Biden wearing a hat that says Trump. It's literally a hat on a hat. And he's an old guy. He walks around an old dog. And I've only ever walked past him, but it seems like he is engaging or trying to talk to people in the park. And I walked by him the other day and it was right after all of Trump was getting so much heat from the Jeffrey Epstein stuff about being like, are we still talking about Jeffrey Epstein, the pedophile that I know? And I was walking past this guy, he was talking to two other old people, and he's like, yeah, right now I really think he's just focused on getting the ship righted. He's really trying to right the ship. And I just walked past him. I was like, you, sir, are living in La La land.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, man. Must be peaceful in there, though. That kind of one track moment.

[Adol Refai]

I don't know, man. I think it can't be peaceful because literally it's like him being like, yeah, he's not really doing anything right. Oh, boy. I really have to rethink this hat and shirt combo thing that I've made.

[Aaron Keefe]

My whole thing so funny.

[Adol Refai]

All right. From Simon. Kevin took the bus downtown. While he was there, he went fishing. He went to a fishing store and bought a six and a half foot long fishing pole. When he Tried to get back on the bus to go home. The bus driver stopped him and said that no objects over 6ft long were allowed on the bus for safety reasons. Kevin then went to a nearby store, bought one item, and was able to get on the bus with his fishing pole. What item did he buy and how did that enable him to take his fishing pole on the bus?

[John Patrick Collins]

Gun.

[Adol Refai]

It was a gun. He pointed a gun at the guy and he said, you'll take me wherever I want to go. And the guy said, yes. This is America. This is how it works.

[Aaron Keefe]

You made it. He, like, got something for like, it. So it made it wide and not tall like a container.

[Adol Refai]

What would he have gotten long?

[Aaron Keefe]

Like a very wide suitcase.

[Adol Refai]

Okay, don't make me.

[Aaron Keefe]

Don't make me look at my own actions.

[Adol Refai]

Aaron, you are correct.

[Aaron Keefe]

No, I'm not.

[Adol Refai]

Well, yes, it's not a long suitcase. Is there a thing from a store that you could buy that would make maybe more sense than a really long suitcase? Maybe think a little cheaper.

[Aaron Keefe]

Guitar case, a bag.

[Adol Refai]

Hula hoop? I don't know if a bag would do it. They're very form fitting. Maybe something like a little more expensive than a bag. A little less expensive than a guitar case. Buy it at like a Home Depot, maybe.

[Aaron Keefe]

I feel like a ladder.

[Adol Refai]

Ooh.

[John Patrick Collins]

And then he throws the ladder in front of the bus and he goes. That's like a distraction because it's over.

[Adol Refai]

Aaron, you got the answer. I'm not trying to be mean. I was just trying to maybe help you find the.

[Aaron Keefe]

It's something that makes it wider.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah, it's something that you could hide the dimensions of this thing by turning it sideways. Right? Like by making a long thing wide. You got it.

[Aaron Keefe]

I don't know how to make a long thing wide.

[John Patrick Collins]

Oh, like a funhouse mirror.

[Adol Refai]

Okay, I'll just say again, I was trying. This was more of a layup. I was trying to be, like, pedantic. He just bought a box. A six foot long box.

[Aaron Keefe]

Didn't I kind of say that?

[Adol Refai]

Well, you said. Yeah, you said it. But you said like a suitcase. And then you said a bag, which are not a box. Like, a box would be like the simple answer.

[Aaron Keefe]

Adel, I would like to take GPC to Riddle Court.

[John Patrick Collins]

Yeah.

[Aaron Keefe]

Making me feel small.

[John Patrick Collins]

Yep.

[Adol Refai]

Again, I was trying. It was a layup. It was a layup.

[Aaron Keefe]

All rise for Judge Ellerfai. And I'm typing it all down over here. I'm over here typing it all down.

[John Patrick Collins]

Everyone have a seat. We are gathered here today to witness the union. Union, no.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, check the papers. I think I might be here for a different reason.

[John Patrick Collins]

Check the papers. Okay, let's see. Ziggy's. Ziggy's doing something fun. Garfield's. That's up to no good. Dilbert. Don't really care. What else? What else?

[Aaron Keefe]

Give him a second.

[John Patrick Collins]

Oh, it looks like Aaron Keefe is taking GPC to court for coffee stain. Okay, you got this. I'll just wing it. So you want ownership of the baby?

[Aaron Keefe]

No. Well, if that can be a part. If that can be negotiated in, I'm willing to.

[Adol Refai]

I'd like to retain that. I don't necessarily know that. That's up to the baby.

[Aaron Keefe]

Jpc. I'll be representing myself in court today. JPC did not accept my answer to a riddle and instead dragged me across the floor. I felt six foot tall and it felt like he put me in a long box and put me in the ground. That's what it felt like.

[Adol Refai]

A coffin.

[Aaron Keefe]

Your honor.

[Adol Refai]

Your Honor. A long box.

[Aaron Keefe]

He's doing it again right now.

[Adol Refai]

I'm not trying to. A coffin is a long box. What are we not using anymore? Your honor.

[Aaron Keefe]

Your honor.

[John Patrick Collins]

Sustained. Sustained.

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, my God. Your honor.

[John Patrick Collins]

You will address me as my honor because to you, I'm your honor, which would be said as my honor. Does that make sense?

[Aaron Keefe]

Oh, my God.

[Adol Refai]

I feel like I'm gonna win this case. I just. I gotta feel it in my bones.

[John Patrick Collins]

Where's my little. Where's my little wooden hammer thing? Where's that wooden hammer?

[Adol Refai]

A gavel.

[John Patrick Collins]

No. Oh, here it is. Gavel. Okay.

[Adol Refai]

Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang.

[John Patrick Collins]

Okay, jpc, what do you have to say for yourself?

[Adol Refai]

I resent the fact that Aaron is trying to put me in a box. And, you know, that's what I say. Make me. Wait. You said long box on the ground. I mean, that's a coffin. Jury, am I right? Jury of my peers. 12 deranged perverts all going. I love the court system. I love the court system.

[John Patrick Collins]

Okay.

[Adol Refai]

Scene.

[Aaron Keefe]

That's a cool scene in your own riddle court, by the way. Moving forward.

[Adol Refai]

That'S a new rule that we could establish starting now. Thank you, Simon, for submitting that riddle to us on.

[Aaron Keefe]

Simon didn't say the scene could end.

[Adol Refai]

That's fucking right.

[John Patrick Collins]

Simon didn't say.

[Adol Refai]

Well, Simon does say the episode can end, though. So takes us to our favorite portion of the episode, a portion called plugs. Aaron, what do you have to plug?

[Aaron Keefe]

Come see us on tour. Haywardle.com live. We're hanging out. We're going to different cities. I'm having a blast so far and it's only going to get more fun so come hang out. Adol Anything to plug I want to.

[John Patrick Collins]

Plug Star wars jpc. Do you have anything to plug?

[Adol Refai]

Yes, I'm going to come see us on tour, do our Patreon, all that good stuff and also read a review. If you want to get a five star review featured on the show, just send us a five star review anywhere you write reviews. Today's is coming from Matt Tastic. It says Came to laugh, stayed to cry. A show that'll sometimes make you laugh, but for the most part induces fits of uncontrollable screams and night terrors. Most of your family and friends will cut you off, but you won't be alone in your madness because Adol, Aaron and JPC will be right there with you. Especially since I, jpc am a local feral cat named Scratches that everyone is scared of but no one is willing to stand up to. I sneak into local businesses and steal all the flushers on their toilets. Anyway. Aaron is a goddess and Adol is Gods. AKA my favorite.

[Aaron Keefe]

That's so nice.

[Adol Refai]

I don't necessarily know what I would do with all those flushers on the toilets.

[Aaron Keefe]

Jupiter.

[Adol Refai]

I have a bunch of flushers.

[Aaron Keefe]

Jupiter. Jupiter. I can cut this off so this doesn't keep going by saying Jupiter.

[Adol Refai]

Pulling the Jupiter.

[Aaron Keefe]

It's not working.

[Adol Refai]

This has been hey Riddle. Riddle Created by Adol Refai starring Aaron KE and John Patrick Collins. Casey Tony did the editing and Marty.

[Aaron Keefe]

Paris in the music.

[Adol Refai]

Logo created by Emily Cardamus and Emily Naboris. Hey there Mayflowers and book printers. If you like that, you'll get a love this week's Patreon. It's another this day in improv history. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com heyridovirtil by joining the clue crew for $5 a month or start your 7 day free trial or the review crew for $8 a month plus you get those ad free episodes. See you there.

[Aaron Keefe]

That was a headgum podcast.