#373: The Riddle Inspection

Summary

Hey Riddle Riddle #373: The Riddle Inspection

Release Date: September 10, 2025
Hosts: Adal Rifai, Erin Keif, John Patrick Coan (JPC)
Featuring: Casey Toney (Producer/Editor)
Length: ~75 minutes

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Episode Overview

This episode centers around the fictional “Riddle Inspection” — a tongue-in-cheek, running bit about a supposed annual evaluation that riddle podcasts must pass. The hosts play with the bureaucracy and absurdity of this inspection, weaving it into their typical blend of riddle-solving, off-the-wall improv, group therapy, and meta-humor. Riddles remain present, but as always, they’re just the jumping-off point for chaos: the “inspection” becomes an excuse for the cast to riff on their show’s absurdity, characters, and friendship dynamics. The episode also features a detailed tangent about attending "Jesus Christ Superstar" at the Hollywood Bowl, several improv scenes, playful banter with their (very real) editor Casey Toney, and a segment on choosing a non-binary middle name for a listener.

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Key Discussion Points & Segments

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1. The “Riddle Inspection” Bit (00:37–07:00)

• The episode opens with the team pretending to take the inspection very seriously, referencing long-standing in-jokes about being “barely a riddle podcast” and their C- logo (03:30).
• They joke about health inspectors for restaurants vs. riddle inspectors for podcasts.
• Adal, Erin, and JPC engage in mock concern about the inspection and reminisce about previous "failed" inspections.
  • Quote:
    • Adal: "Of course, hidden in our logo is a C minus. It's from the state." (03:31)

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2. The Opening Riddle and Recurring In-Jokes (05:38–07:10)

• Riddle: “I'm long, I'm short, I'm borrowed, blue. I lie, I help, I stretch what's true. Some call me sharp, Some call me dense, but either way, I make no sense.”

  • The hosts guess “Gru” and “Minions” (after a tangent about watching all the Despicable Me movies), but the answer is “an excuse.”

  • Quick references to the show’s characters being stored in a closet, leading to a “closet explosion” soundscape request for Casey.

  • Quote:

    • Aaron: "The answer is an excuse." (06:12)

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3. Banter with Editor Casey Toney (07:10–12:15)

• Erin and JPC debate whether it’s fun to prank Casey with complex sound design requests.
• Casey joins in, negotiating manageable vs. perfectionist edits.
• Quote:
  • Casey (on being perfectionist): “I have ideas cooking for it.” (07:44)
  • JPC (teasing): “Let's creatively challenge Casey with a panic attack.” (07:56)
• Group discusses mental health and teasing, with Casey gamely playing along.

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4. “Jesus Christ Superstar” at the Hollywood Bowl Tangent (12:26–23:35)

• The hosts, including Casey, share their night out seeing “Jesus Christ Superstar,” with much focus on Josh Gad, John Stamos (the backup for Gad), Adam Lambert, and Cynthia Erivo.
• Memorable Quotes:
  • Adal: "Seeing Cynthia Erivo live, I think is transcendent. I think it's just something everyone should try and do." (15:33)
  • Casey (on Gethsemane): “Her acting was so incredible and her voice was so incredible that it became like, a transcendent religious experience.” (19:03)
• They riff on actors, staging, mic issues, and stage antics.
• Erin shares (with much laughter) that her edible kicked in perfectly during the show's overture:
  • "It literally hit during the overture when Cynthia came out... And I was like, yeah." (22:55)

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5. Riddles & Improv Scenes: Molly’s Riddle Book (23:46–63:56)

Sample Riddles:

• The Goose in the Jet Engine Riddle (23:58–27:34)
  • Gertrude, a goose, causes a plane crash. Improv scene: A plane crash victim's relative confronts the offending goose in a bar.
• The Cadaverous Man in the Bar Riddle (27:45–34:55)
  • A mysterious man keeps appearing at bars: The answer is he’s the taxi driver ferrying them around.
• Photographic Evidence Riddle (46:48–51:04)
  • A man waits two months to report a body: He needed his film developed to realize what he'd seen. Improv scene about awkward photo pick-up.
• Famous Figures Together Riddle (53:36–56:11)
  • Answer: They’re all depicted on playing cards.
  • Improv: A Vegas blackjack player accuses the dealer of stealing his likeness for the Jack of Clubs.

Other Notable Riddles:

• Colorblindness and Camouflage (61:00): A colorblind person gets a job spotting camouflaged enemy positions.
• Hotel Room Knock Riddle (63:55): A “lost” guest knocks at the wrong door; the detail that gave them away is that you don’t knock on your own hotel room door.

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6. Listener Voicemail: Choosing a Middle Name (68:54–71:11)

• Listener Jamie Stanton seeks a new non-binary middle name.
• The hosts suggest everything from “Christ” (“Jamie Stanton Superstar!”), “Monster,” “Willow,” “Tree,” and “Ribbit.”
• Consensus: "Willow" is the best fit.
  • JPC: “Jamie Willow Stanton sounds like a profound author or like a famous assassin.” (70:41)

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7. Show Plugs & Tour Announcements (71:38–73:50)

• New podcast collaboration with Anthony Burch, "Gumshoes and Dragons," has launched.
• “Hello From the Magic Tavern” is touring.
• More Hey Riddle Riddle live shows announced (Atlanta, Nashville, Denver); Boston show sold out.
• Tour bits: plans for "hot chicken" costumes in Nashville.

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Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• "Of course, hidden in our logo is a C minus."
  — Adal, 03:31
• Casey (on perfectionism): "I have ideas Cooking for it."
  07:44
• "Seeing Cynthia Erivo live, I think is transcendent."
  — Adal, 15:33
• "Her acting was so incredible and her voice was so incredible that it became like, a transcendent religious experience."
  — Casey, 19:03
• "It literally hit during the overture when Cynthia came out... And I was like, yeah."
  — Erin, 22:55
• "The answer is an excuse."
  — Aaron, 06:12
• "Let's creatively challenge Casey with a panic attack."
  — JPC, 07:56
• "Jamie Willow Stanton sounds like a profound author or like a famous assassin."
  — JPC, 70:41
• “That lingerie is finger fucking good.”
  — Adal, 74:13

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Flow & Tone

• True to the premise, the episode is filled with self-referential sarcasm, meta-bits, and running gags about bureaucracy, failure, and inside jokes (e.g., the “closet” of old characters).
• The hosts poke fun at each other with warmth: the dynamic with their editor Casey is both playful and affectionate, highlighting the collaborative nature of the show.
• Their signature is an almost effortless drift between riddle-solving, improv, and personal tangents — it feels loose, anarchic, and side-splitting.

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Suggested Segments to Listen For

• (03:31) The C- logo bit: Classic self-deprecating meta-commentary.
• (13:45–19:17) Jesus Christ Superstar review: Their banter, especially about Josh Gad, Adam Lambert, and Cynthia Erivo, is both hilarious and insightful.
• (23:58–27:34) Goose bar scene improv: Absurd, classic HRR improv at its best.
• (68:54–71:11) Listener voicemail — name help: A great distillation of the show’s warmth, humor, and playfulness.
• (74:13) “That lingerie is finger fucking good”: Outrageous closing banter.

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Final Thoughts

If you love the core Hey Riddle Riddle style — riddles as trampoline for wild improv, self-aware humor, friendly ribbing, and running in-jokes — this is a prime episode. The “riddle inspection” frame is a loose excuse to keep things on-track, but the joy comes from the digressions: high-energy storytelling, loving group dynamics, and the postmodern mess of podcasting itself.

[End Summary]

Transcript

[Aaron Cheven]

This is a headgun podcast.

[John Patrick Cohen]

The doctor was the mother. He stood on a block of ice. Both of them were goldfish. It was the cabin of an airplane. He stabbed him with an ice array and the horses named riding.

[Aaron Cheven]

All right, guys, let's do it. I'm long, I'm short, I'm borrowed blue I lie, I help, I stretch what's true? Some call me sharp Some call me dense but either way, I make no sense Minions.

[Adol Refy]

Aaron. Aaron, how are you doing?

[Aaron Cheven]

I am good, Adel. I was just doing that classic thing that we do at the beginning of every episode where I read a riddle and we start every episode off with a riddle. So that's.

[John Patrick Cohen]

And that's. That's. Correct me if I'm wrong. The riddle we didn't get at the end of last episode. Cause we always end the episode with like, hey, let's like, think about this for a week. And then we always.

[Aaron Cheven]

Yeah, we are famously a riddle focused podcast. Start with riddles, end with riddles. And so we're just doing what we've always done.

[John Patrick Cohen]

So last week when we did that riddle, we all thought we were like, what? What a stumper. And then what did it add? A little idea. We watched all of the Despicable Me movies and all the Minions movies.

[Adol Refy]

Mm.

[John Patrick Cohen]

What did you say the answer to this riddle was again?

[Adol Refy]

I think it's just Minions.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, yeah. And I was gonna guess Gru.

[Aaron Cheven]

It's neither of those.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Okay.

[Adol Refy]

No, no. And I do wanna just get a. I wanna know something in the bud. I just wanna kind of get ahead of it. A lot of people are saying, like, isn't your riddle inspection coming up in the next month? And I just wanna say I have no idea that there's riddle and special.

[Aaron Cheven]

This month.

[Adol Refy]

We've always started immediately. First things on every episode is a riddle. Last thing on every episode is a riddle. We're riddles through and through, right?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, my God. I'm reading the email now. I guess today's episode is the riddle inspection.

[Adol Refy]

Whoa. What?

[Aaron Cheven]

I had no clue.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Crazy how wicked they get if you.

[Aaron Cheven]

Don'T have a riddle podcast. Classically email how, like, health inspectors can show up to restaurants to make sure there's no rats, no ways that people.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Can get sick that they can't see any rats.

[Aaron Cheven]

That they can't see any rats. Well, again, with riddle podcasts, a riddle inspector can show up truly whenever they only have to give you a little heads up, and they check to see if they can see any rats. It's actually pretty similar to A health inspection. But that's what we're doing today, I guess. I guess that's why we'll just keep doing what we always do. My beloved friend who we get along great.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I guess people would also be like, wait a second, isn't your podcast the one that failed, like seven straight years of Riddle Inspections, our podcast? And I'm like, oh, I mean, I guess, but like, they don't shut your podcast down.

[Adol Refy]

Listen in our logo thumbnail that you might see wherever you're listening to this podcast and you can find our podcast wherever you listen to the podcast. Let me just say that immediately.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Immediately.

[Adol Refy]

Immediately. Of course, hidden in our logo is a C minus. It's from the state.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Uh huh.

[Adol Refy]

Now, did we take that C minus and sort of put some purple and gold and filigree and sort of let it soak in to the background maybe? I don't think that's against the rules.

[Aaron Cheven]

Do we pay the $30,000 fee every year we get from the riddle inspection? Maybe. Maybe we owe a lot of money.

[John Patrick Cohen]

But I guess. And this is kind of crazy, if we started the episode of the riddle, which we kind of do every episode, we might not have to pay that $30,000 this year.

[Aaron Cheven]

Yeah. What Alice said was, stay the course. And I agree. We get along. We do riddles. This is all. This is all good, guys.

[John Patrick Cohen]

All right, so now that we got that out of the way, you guys, I can.

[Aaron Cheven]

You know the closet of all of our bullshit that we shoved all of our bullshit in too.

[Adol Refy]

Yeah.

[Aaron Cheven]

When people come over, I feel like it's about to all come bursting out.

[John Patrick Cohen]

No, no, no, we shoved it in good.

[Adol Refy]

Yeah. I can't see it.

[Aaron Cheven]

Oh, no. I can hear it creaking. You guys, all of our bullshit's about to topple out.

[Adol Refy]

That's just air escaping.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah. And I put a creek in there, so that's probably what you hear. Yeah, well, it's more like a river of bullshit.

[Aaron Cheven]

We should poke some air holes in there because a lot of the characters that we have from the show are in there.

[Adol Refy]

Little monkey bones doesn't breathe. GB Riddles doesn't breathe. Coco Chanel doesn't breathe. Coco Chanel doesn't.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Coco doesn't breathe. Dr. Camellia doesn't breathe. I actually think most of our characters have gills.

[Adol Refy]

Yeah, they're mostly golems or fish anyways. They're sort of like shape of water.

[Aaron Cheven]

Riddle Podcast, Stay the course. The answer to that riddle was. Do you want me to read it again or do you have it?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Is the Answer to the riddle, Aaron. Is it one of these things where it's like. The answer is like, hey, riddle, riddle. And it's like, welcome to the podcast.

[Aaron Cheven]

No, but I would say it's probably, in some ways, on theme for our show.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I'm Adel. I'm gpc. I'm Aaron.

[Aaron Cheven]

I'm long, I'm short, I'm borrowed, blue. I lie, I help, I stretch. What's true. Some call me sharp. Some call me dense. But either way, I make no sense.

[Adol Refy]

Riddles. This also sounds like minions. This also sounds like what is supposed to be couched within wedding vows. Right? Or a wedding ceremony. Something borrowed, Something blue. Something sharp. Something dull. What was that?

[Aaron Cheven]

Yeah, I'm sharp and you are dull.

[Adol Refy]

Adolf.

[Aaron Cheven]

Oh, sorry.

[John Patrick Cohen]

AD Dull.

[Aaron Cheven]

The answer is an excuse. Whoa.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Okay. Yeah, okay, I can see that. I can see that.

[Adol Refy]

Well, so, Steve Martin. Let's see Steve Martin. I want to see a scene. Steve Martin is a minion. Well, excuse.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, no.

[Aaron Cheven]

The closet exploded. And I'll have Casey do a little soundscape of a bunch of our bullshit moments falling out of a closet.

[Adol Refy]

Hey, Aaron.

[Aaron Cheven]

Hey, you can figure out how to do that.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Hey, Casey, you don't need to do that.

[Aaron Cheven]

Casey will have fun with it.

[John Patrick Cohen]

We say, casey will have fun with it. And then Casey's up until 3am like, putting together a meticulous soundscape, and he's like, hey, I did it. I go, casey, nobody cares about that. You gotta take care of yourself.

[Aaron Cheven]

He's such a perfectionist that it's up to his standards that it's four in the morning, and he's like, why did I do this?

[John Patrick Cohen]

And so, Aaron, I have a question for you. Is it fun to do that to Casey? Um, honestly, sometimes as mean as I am to Casey, that's the kind of thing where I'm like, oh, that's the thing that we don't actually do, Casey. Because that actually hurts. Casey.

[Aaron Cheven]

No, you know what, Casey, here's. No, no, no, let me. This is my counter argument to that. I don't like doing that to Casey often, but once or twice a year. I think that we should. He's one of the most talented sound editors. He's so funny. Casey is hysterical. And he's not on mic. And sometimes it feels like a huge waste to have someone so funny not on Mike. So to give him an opportunity to. To showcase how funny he is in the edit of something, I actually think I'm happy to creatively challenge Casey once a year. Casey, how do you feel?

[Casey Toney]

I have ideas Cooking for it.

[Aaron Cheven]

Oh, my God. Casey, shut up.

[Casey Toney]

All I ask is one less scene this episode.

[John Patrick Cohen]

See, this is the problem. Let's creatively challenge Casey with a panic attack. Let's get to.

[Adol Refy]

I heard this story the other day. I just thought I'd share it with everyone here.

[Aaron Cheven]

Great.

[Adol Refy]

An editor goes to see a doctor. He says, I'm so stressed out from editing a podcast. It's just night and day. It's just I was so stressed out. And the doctor says, take a break. Go see the great editor in town, Casey Toney. And the editor says, but Doctor. I hate Casey. Tony.

[John Patrick Cohen]

And the twist is Donnie Wahlberg actually killed the doctor, like three hours ago.

[Adol Refy]

Yes.

[John Patrick Cohen]

We're just finding out about it.

[Adol Refy]

But the Doctor sees living people. Wait, how did the shit.

[Aaron Cheven]

Casey, how about this for the rest of the episode? Normally, Casey does like a soundscape for scenes. We will do that for each other's scenes for the rest of the episode. This is a very special episode where Casey. The rest of the episode, you're no more. Okay. You can put all your energy in that one moment at the beginning.

[John Patrick Cohen]

So we passed the riddle inspection, but we're gonna fail the podcast sound inspection for the rest of the episode. We just can't. We can't win with lot of these things.

[Casey Toney]

Here's what I'm going to do. Here's what I'm going to do. I don't need that. But here's what I'm going to do. I'm saying it now because I'm not putting too much time. I'm going to take a couple door break sounds. I'm going to take a bunch of items. Clattering sounds. I'm going to make those pop off right when you say the door bursts. Then I'm going to grab one of the best of edits. I'm just going to cut a few random points where you guys are being chaotic from that and overlay them. They're not going to be the specific moments that people think. But you're going to hear your voices. I'll pan them to a couple different directions. Maybe add a little effect.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Work smarter, not harder. I love this.

[Aaron Cheven]

I don't know.

[Casey Toney]

I feel like I could do that in 15 minutes.

[Adol Refy]

I don't know if this is permissible. Can you just. Instead of the bursting sounds and clanking and all that, can you just put in from like the Goof Troop movie or Goofy movie, like the Yahoo Hoo Hooi.

[Casey Toney]

Okay, we are going to have to demonetize this episode, though.

[Adol Refy]

Is that okay?

[Aaron Cheven]

Okay, well, demonize then. If you die on your gravestone, it has to be Casey. Tony, he cut every corner.

[Adol Refy]

Oh.

[Aaron Cheven]

Okay. If you're fine with that, then I'm fine with it, too.

[Adol Refy]

And every bathroom concert.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Every concert.

[Adol Refy]

Bathroom line.

[John Patrick Cohen]

You're a person who has mental illness. So what are you doing to Casey right now? You understand what you're doing to him, right?

[Aaron Cheven]

Hurt people. Hurt people. And then he'll hurt someone else with mental illness. And that's how the earth works. Are you new here? No. Casey, of course, cut corners.

[John Patrick Cohen]

As the only person on this podcast that doesn't suffer from mental health, I do have to say, wait a second, what's going on here?

[Aaron Cheven]

Also, can I really quick, Casey, I actually would like your backup on this. Jpc. Are you fucking kidding me? Can you play a montage of how mean JPC is to Casey on a constant clip?

[Adol Refy]

Looks over at the riddle inspector. Okay, we're just. This is a bit.

[Aaron Cheven]

I come in and I tease you affectionately. Of course I want you to cut corners. Obviously. Love that. I tease you affectionately and I'm the bad guy. JPC is verbally abusive to you.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Look, look, we all have our own. What do you mean? Quirks and personalities. But what we don't do is we don't exacerbate our people's things that keep them up at night. Like Aaron. I would never be like, Aaron. I think you should be 15 minutes later to things. I would never say that to you. That's just mean.

[Adol Refy]

I'm laughing.

[Casey Toney]

I'm smiling.

[John Patrick Cohen]

But Aaron, I'm laughing.

[Adol Refy]

I look too bad looking. Looking dead in the eyes of the Riddle Inspector. And this is sort of like a metallic. Where, like, we're making a documentary about therapy. There's not a therapist in the room, but we're throwing stuff at the wall.

[Aaron Cheven]

No. That is such a good point, jpc, because I will ask Casey to do a silly thing. But, Casey, you are such. Would you call yourself a perfectionist, Casey? Because I would say that you hold yourself to a really high standard in certain matters.

[Casey Toney]

Like these.

[Adol Refy]

Yes. Okay, so you called yourself a perfectionist, right?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Adol. He called himself the perfectionist.

[Aaron Cheven]

Hello.

[Casey Toney]

Hey, Riddle. Riddle fans. Perfectionist editor Casey Toney here from the future. After gassing me up like that, you know I had to do the actual sound design.

[Adol Refy]

Come on. You know I had to do it to him. Anyway, here it is.

[Aaron Cheven]

Oh, no. The closet exploded.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I'm a horny shit.

[Adol Refy]

But.

[Aaron Cheven]

No, no, no, no, no, no. Also, before we get into riddles. And now that you're on mic. Casey. The four of us saw Jesus Christ Superstar at the Hollywood bowl this past weekend.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, that's right. And by that, we mean one month ago, but yes.

[Aaron Cheven]

Oh, yes.

[Adol Refy]

I'm up here. What's the bus? Tell me what's happening. What's the bus?

[Aaron Cheven]

Tell me what's the heaven out.

[John Patrick Cohen]

It was. It was fantastic. But we were all very concerned because we were so excited to see Josh Gad as King Herod. But then the Thursday before we went, Josh Gad got Covid, had a dropout, and John Stamos jumped in, and we.

[Adol Refy]

Were like, you're in a city of, I want to say, 99% of the world's celebrities, and you're back up to, Josh Gad is King Herod is John Stamos.

[Aaron Cheven]

It sounds like he knew it and was ready. Also, his wig was so funny. I was a little sad we didn't get to see John Stamos, because that would have been a blast.

[Adol Refy]

He looked like Uncle Baby Billy, played by Walter Goggins in Regular Simpsons to.

[John Patrick Cohen]

A point where he looked like that. And we all thought, oh, my God, Goggins would have been crushed. But Gad got better, and we did see Gad. And Gad. I gotta say, Gad brought it.

[Aaron Cheven]

He was great.

[Casey Toney]

Gad needs a day of Stamos to be at his absolute best. He thrived on that. He was riffing.

[Adol Refy]

He was riffing left and right.

[Casey Toney]

Madman.

[Adol Refy]

He was breaking the fourth wall in the best possible way, threatening to give.

[Casey Toney]

Jesus Covid, like, kicking his feet and yelling, Stamos. Every time.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, man. What do we all think?

[Aaron Cheven]

I. Well, I sent out the tickets randomly, and I wish I had been more careful about it, because I ended up next to jpc.

[Adol Refy]

Okay, okay. And again, this is just sort of a fun game we play, but here's.

[Aaron Cheven]

No, here's the issue. This is a compliment. JPC is so fucking funny. And he kept pretending that he thought every celebrity and every old person in the audience was John Ratzenberg. And he kept going, is that John Ratzenberg? And that was making me laugh. But then when we were at the night where there was a mic issue at the top of Act 2, and JPC said, Full volume. Stay in it, guys, like a coach. And I was laughing the rest of the show. It was so fucking funny.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Cause there is a mic issue. And at one point, look, it's very choreographed. I heard that they had a pretty grueling schedule to do this thing. But also, it's like, Jesus Christ Superstar is like not the most, you know, character or choreograph heavy show. So when the mic thing happened, it kind of just felt like everybody on stage was kind of just hanging out and I'm like, there's nothing to stay in, like there. Like, maybe that's why it was so funny.

[Aaron Cheven]

They were all sitting around the table for the Last Supper and you were like, stay in it, guys.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah, be here. Be in this moment.

[Adol Refy]

Very minimal staging. Basically just like risers for the set. I thought the show was phenomenal, but yeah, very, very minimal sort of production.

[Aaron Cheven]

What would you all give it out of 10?

[John Patrick Cohen]

I had a 10 out of 10 good time. I mean, I'd never been to the Hollywood bowl before.

[Adol Refy]

10 out of 10 good time. Seeing Cynthia Riva live, I think is transcendent. I think it's just something everyone should try and do. She's incredible and I think kind of.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Miscast as Jesus, though.

[Aaron Cheven]

Oh, please.

[Adol Refy]

Jesus was a white man with blue eyes. We've all seen the pictures.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I don't care if you want to make Jesus black. I don't care if you want to make Jesus a woman. And I don't care if you want to make Jesus gay. But five one.

[Adol Refy]

She'S so tiny next to Adam Lambert. As tall as he is.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Adam Lambert, six' one, three inch platforms. It was crazy there.

[Casey Toney]

Three inches.

[Adol Refy]

I'd say five inch yards.

[Casey Toney]

That guy was on stilts. Jesus Christ.

[Adol Refy]

So we all loved Erivo. Lambert is incredible. I think we agree that the. I always want to say caliphate. Who's the guy?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Caiaphas.

[Adol Refy]

Caiaphas. Caiaphas's little sidekick.

[Casey Toney]

I gotta look up the name because.

[Aaron Cheven]

Salacious Crumb, what would you do with that? Jesus of Nazareth, that little.

[Adol Refy]

And Aaron, what did you say? What? I said, I love that little guy. Who's that? What's that guy's name? What did you say? Aaron.

[Aaron Cheven]

I was like, oh, that little cunty guy. That's like, I love that guy. If anyone knows that actor, I fucking love him.

[Adol Refy]

Oh, he was incredible.

[Casey Toney]

Really.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, Aaron. I believe that's John Ratzenberger, jbc.

[Casey Toney]

The character's name is A N, N, A S Annis.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Caiaphas and Anus were like my two favorite parts of the. Caiaphas was great. They gave him a little head tattoo, which when I saw the actor and he didn't have a head tattoo, I thought, honestly, man, big guy, bald, big beard. You could rock the head tattoo. The head tattoo was working for you.

[Casey Toney]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Aaron Cheven]

I would give it a 10. I've seen a lot of productions. And I love Judas parts. Every other time I've seen it, I've been a big fan of it. And the fact that this, like, Adam Lambert's voice is crazy, but the Jesus parts in the show were. I'll never get over what it felt like watching her live. I've never seen anything like it. And I'm also so glad that we all got to go together. That would have felt like such a frustrating thing if I had sat down and we hadn't organized that. I'm so glad we all got to go.

[Casey Toney]

I was on the very end because of the layout.

[Adol Refy]

Oh, Closest to Ice Cream. Shut up.

[Aaron Cheven]

Closest to the guy who played Jesus.

[Adol Refy]

In the movie, Ted Neely. Was he in our section?

[Aaron Cheven]

Yeah.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah.

[Casey Toney]

And I was next to Janet and Zorp, who both had not seen the show at all. And so that was very exciting to be in the presence of two people who every time, like, the guitar is wailing or somebody is belting, is also just, like, blown away that this is a musical, you know? And that was very cool. I do agree that Gethsemane, which is, like, Jesus's big number.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah, Huge.

[Casey Toney]

That's. That's a great song. That's always been a great song. And if you think of my Favorite Things app, I had one riff from Gethsemane and one riff from Heaven on Their Mind. So there's, like, two of my favorite songs. But her version of Gethsemane, I was weeping. I was like.

[Aaron Cheven]

When I looked over at you, Zorp, and Janet during that number, I've never. The three of you were like puddles. It was so sweet.

[Casey Toney]

It was insane.

[John Patrick Cohen]

And.

[Casey Toney]

And, like, the thing. It's like, I'm.

[Adol Refy]

I look.

[Casey Toney]

I. I'm atheist. So it was not, like, religious. It was just, like, the emotion. Her acting was. Was so incredible and her voice was so incredible that it became like, a transcendent religious experience. I think.

[Aaron Cheven]

I know after that, people are like, Jesus actually had some pretty good ideas.

[Adol Refy]

Yeah. Janet said.

[Casey Toney]

What did Janet said? She said, I get how people felt about Jesus or something, Which I thought was a really powerful way of putting it.

[John Patrick Cohen]

All right. I just have to say, as a counterpoint to that, I have kind of the opposite take about Jesus, because every time I watch Jesus Christ Superstar. First of all, I don't even think Gethsemane is a good song. I think it's a really impressive vocal performance.

[Casey Toney]

Yes.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah. And to watch Cynthia do. I mean, it's like a hard song. Like, even me, who doesn't sing knows that that's a hard song. So to watch what she did with it, you couldn't. I mean, she got, like, a huge standing ovation. You couldn't help but be impressed. But watching Jesus Christ Superstar, every time I watch it, I am taken by how much of a little bitch Jesus is in that musical. Yeah. Because truly, Judas is right. Judas is like, hey, what are we fucking doing here? And Jesus is like, you guys don't understand what's going on. Your little pea brains are too stupid. And at no point in the musical does he ever say, here's the plan. All he ever says is like, get with the fucking plan. You guys are dumb. You don't get it. And it's like, hey, Jesus. Maybe take four minutes to just kind of explain shit to these people. They seem pretty willing to follow you. I love that because I love that line.

[Aaron Cheven]

Delivery of hey Jesus is so funny. I've never heard it before. Hey, Jesus.

[Adol Refy]

Like. Like, hey, Arnold.

[John Patrick Cohen]

But it's. It's a very. I love the musical, but it's like, it's so frustrating to watch Jesus be like, I am literally smarter than you. I know what's going to happen. No one else knows what's going to happen. And that pisses me off.

[Casey Toney]

And it's like, just tell people that happens to be. This is why it was 10 out of 10 experience. I think it was an 8.5 production for me, just because I feel like, you. You need a. And I said this at the night. Adam Lambert's voice was incredible. He sounded fantastic. Second only to Carl Anderson in that role that I've heard. And his acting was so bad and so cartoonish that you should come out of Jesus Christ Superstar seeing both the flaws but valid perspective of each of the characters. It's supposed to be a complicated human story.

[John Patrick Cohen]

He was kind of playing Judas like the devil.

[Adol Refy]

Yes.

[John Patrick Cohen]

And, like, he had, like, a little devilish grin to his face.

[Casey Toney]

It was unlike I'd ever seen. Even where, like, especially the way they did Superstar, the song where it was, like, mocking the whole time. That was. That was really weird.

[John Patrick Cohen]

To sum it up, I think Cynthia was playing Jesus and Adam Lambert was playing Adam Lambert. He was not. I loved his voice. I don't know him for. For anything, but I just think he was like, whatever he is. That was what it was. I was just watching a man be himself.

[Adol Refy]

I don't know him from Adam Lambert. One quick thing, one small thing I just want to mention before we move on. One of my favorite parts was during this sort of I don't. I've never read the Bible. This sort of, like, den of inequities where it's like, people are selling. It's like the marketplace where Jesus flips the tables. It's like the temple. Thank you. With the moneylenders, I guess. But it's like, there's, like, ammo and drugs and all this stuff. I love that they had all that on stage. But it was also done with the patina of, like, a horny magic show.

[Aaron Cheven]

And, like, it looked like a pretty cool party.

[Adol Refy]

There's a lot of, like, people partnering up to, like, give a. Like give illusions, but in a fuck way.

[John Patrick Cohen]

And, like, there was a guy, literally, people were taking bongs in front of his penis.

[Adol Refy]

People were holding bongs in front of, like, bong dogs.

[Aaron Cheven]

He wasn't in the show.

[Adol Refy]

They would make themselves bong dongs and then they'd, like, suck their own. Like, they. They.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah, it was really each other's bong dogs.

[Adol Refy]

It was really such a tonal shift. I mean, it was. I thought it was very funny.

[Aaron Cheven]

The last thing I'll say is that, hypothetically, I maybe partook in an edible. And it's the best timing of any drug I've ever taken because it literally hit during the overture when Cynthia came out during the bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. And I was like, yeah, Aaron took.

[Adol Refy]

Twice as much or three times as much of an edible as I did and then tried to the whole show convince me I was out of my mind high.

[Aaron Cheven]

I kept sending adult videos, being like, dude, whoa, you're so hot.

[Adol Refy]

I'm like, I think you're driven more than I am.

[Aaron Cheven]

Oh, I was tripping.

[Casey Toney]

The riddle inspector is giving us side eye right now.

[Aaron Cheven]

No, no, I was fine. Everything's fine. Here's some riddles, okay? Oh, also, this is from Molly's riddle book. If we still have that theme, it's.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Time for MOL.

[Adol Refy]

All.

[John Patrick Cohen]

These riddle books.

[Aaron Cheven]

A new Molly riddle Book, by the way, that we got the LA Live show. When Gertrude entered the plane, she caused her own death and the deaths of 200 people. Yet she was never blamed or criticized for her actions. What happened?

[Adol Refy]

Gertrude's a Kaiju. Yeah, Kaiju Godzilla type.

[Aaron Cheven]

Not this time.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Gertrude is like a Mr. Magoo. Ass pilot.

[Aaron Cheven]

Ass pilot.

[Adol Refy]

Oh, is this my sandwich?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Is Gertrude like a duck or like a goose or something?

[Adol Refy]

Ooh, yeah. Went to the engines.

[Aaron Cheven]

Yes, Gertrude. A goose had been sucked into the jet engine.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I would like to say before we see a scene, did it not also say that nobody blamed Gertrude for it.

[Adol Refy]

Well, dead people don't blame.

[John Patrick Cohen]

When a goose gets sucked into a plane. You absolutely say, like, that's what happened.

[Aaron Cheven]

Right, I know, but you don't think, like, the goose did it on purpose.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Okay. Okay, I guess. Yeah. You don't blame the goose in that way, but you do say you do, like, literally, really blame it on the fact that a goose got stuck. Okay, Gotcha.

[Aaron Cheven]

I'd like to see a scene. I've changed the scene. I want to see now.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I understand, if anything.

[Adol Refy]

They murdered a goose in its own home.

[Aaron Cheven]

That's true. You're in the goose's house. Yeah, I'd like to see a scene. Jpc, you're a goose who brought down a whole plane, and you're drinking at a bar. And Adol. You are one of the family members of someone who's on that plane, and you recognize him at the bar, and you go to confront him.

[Adol Refy]

Yeah. So we've. We've been doing okay, but it's.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Can I get another four goose fingers over here?

[Adol Refy]

Oh, my God. Don't. No, no, no. Don't look, don't look, don't look.

[Aaron Cheven]

Who is it?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Thank you.

[Aaron Cheven]

That's him, isn't it?

[Adol Refy]

That's one of the geese.

[Aaron Cheven]

You should say something. He's counting on you not saying something. He's counting on you being too polite.

[John Patrick Cohen]

What is this? This is. Well, this is good.

[Adol Refy]

Carol hated when I was confrontational, but you know what? She's gone. You know what?

[Aaron Cheven]

You're gonna.

[Adol Refy]

Excuse me. Excuse me. Hi. Oh, honk, honk. I guess.

[John Patrick Cohen]

What the. Honk, honk. Huh? What the.

[Adol Refy]

I'm just.

[John Patrick Cohen]

That's our word. That's our word. Hold on.

[Adol Refy]

You're the. I'm not the bad one here.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, yeah. You just walked up to a goose that said, honk, honk.

[Aaron Cheven]

Hey, gentlemen, take it outside if you're gonna fight. Okay, yeah, let's go outside.

[Adol Refy]

Let's go outside.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I'm actually. That's actually where I live, and I'm not ready to go home yet.

[Adol Refy]

Well, that's actually where I fight. That's where I work. So let me take off my jacket here. Canadian down.

[John Patrick Cohen]

What the fuck?

[Adol Refy]

Canadian goose coat here. Goose feathers in the lining. Everything I buy now is goose feathers.

[John Patrick Cohen]

You're wearing a goose feather jacket.

[Adol Refy]

Mm.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Around me.

[Adol Refy]

Yeah, that's right.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Thank you. I got paid huge money for that.

[Adol Refy]

What?

[John Patrick Cohen]

We're very.

[Adol Refy]

Feathers.

[John Patrick Cohen]

That kills us.

[Adol Refy]

Yeah. Feathers are like your skin or something. Come on.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Nah, man. Feathers are not like our skin.

[Adol Refy]

So this is like When I give.

[Aaron Cheven]

A sperm sample, tell him that he's playing. That you're. Tell him it's his fault the plane.

[Adol Refy]

Tell him it's your.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Hey, what's your woman saying?

[Adol Refy]

No, I have an index card for this exact moment I knew this woman. Webster's dictionary defines revenge as, hey, man.

[John Patrick Cohen]

If your chick has something to say to me, wow, hog. She can say it to me.

[Adol Refy]

Oh, Carol.

[Aaron Cheven]

Punch his goose in the face.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Joke's on you, man. You hit beak. Your hand's a mess.

[Aaron Cheven]

Oh, let me try to hit you right in the stomach like Houdini. Whoa.

[Adol Refy]

Three eggs came out.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I'm a male goose.

[Adol Refy]

Yeah. Oh, those are testicles.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, no.

[Aaron Cheven]

See?

[Adol Refy]

Go to a doctor.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Now three testicles pop out of a goose.

[Aaron Cheven]

Is that a red hole? Yeah.

[Adol Refy]

Oh, the inspector's giving a thumbs up.

[Aaron Cheven]

Two men went out for a drink together in a bar. One of them looked up. Yep. One of them looked up, saw a tall, dark stranger looking like death and drinking soda water and pointed him out to his companion. Startled and uneasy, the two men left and went to another bar some miles away. After a few minutes, they looked up and saw the same sad, pale stranger drinking soda water. Deciding to leave, they went to a third bar, which was empty except for a young couple. However, within a few minutes, the cadaverous man appeared and in a slow, sad voice, ordered a soda water. Almost out of his mind, one of the men went over to him and said, who are you and what do you want? What did the man answer? And this is an insane one. Is your hint.

[Adol Refy]

Did the guy answer? And, Aaron, stay with me.

[Aaron Cheven]

Okay?

[Adol Refy]

Did the guy answer? I'm following you because you called me cadaverous in the parking lot, and that's the rudest thing I've ever heard in my life. So I just wanted to see how you live.

[Aaron Cheven]

No, that is. That would be reasonable. But that's not the answer this time.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Did he just say, who are you and what do you want? Did he just say, like, I'm Bob and I want a soda water?

[Aaron Cheven]

No.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Okay.

[Adol Refy]

Aaron, is. Are they. Is it triplets or something? Or is this the same man?

[Aaron Cheven]

No, it's not the same man.

[Adol Refy]

It's not the same man. So you're saying it's not the same man each time?

[Aaron Cheven]

It is the same man.

[Adol Refy]

It is the same man.

[Aaron Cheven]

Okay, but it's not.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Is this, like, a person who has that, like, face blindness thing where he just assumes that everyone that's not him or not a young couple is a, like, cadaverous man?

[Aaron Cheven]

No. Not this one.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Is he a historical figure? Is this Abraham Lincoln?

[Aaron Cheven]

No.

[Adol Refy]

Is the person.

[Aaron Cheven]

Okay, I would be. My feelings would be so hurt if I was Abraham Lincoln right now.

[Adol Refy]

He's. And he's waiting for someone to buy him a shot. He's like, someone will recognize.

[Aaron Cheven]

Someone's going to say something.

[Adol Refy]

Brains out the front of my bed.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Lincoln shot. You would buy him a beard, but to buy him a shot, it's like.

[Aaron Cheven]

Oh, you don't want to have fun with Lincoln if I'm.

[John Patrick Cohen]

No, it's totally inappropriate. It's like buying, like, John Lennon a shot.

[Adol Refy]

Like you don't want to giving Jason Cross.

[Aaron Cheven]

I'm buying Lincoln a shot. I know. And then I go, you'll. You don't know the irony of this yet because you're still alive.

[Adol Refy]

I think Jager Oyster.

[John Patrick Cohen]

In my mind, this is zombie Lincoln because he's cadaverous. Okay, okay, okay. If he's not dead yet, then buying him a shot is totally fine. If he's already been shot in the head, it's a little, like, odd.

[Aaron Cheven]

I want him to get loose.

[Adol Refy]

I do want to see a scene.

[Aaron Cheven]

Yeah.

[Adol Refy]

Let's say that. Jpc, you are Abraham Lincoln. Aaron, you are a time traveler who has gone back in time to try and save Lincoln's life. You've been trying to blend in to not great effect. And this is the day where you finally approach Lincoln to warn him about his fate.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, where are my spectacles?

[Aaron Cheven]

I know I put my, ah, right here. Mr. Lincoln.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, thank you. Oh, you're. You're new here. I've seen you around. I'm sorry, I don't know your name.

[Aaron Cheven]

Bet. Betsy. America. You know, Lincoln, I've been thinking. Didn't mean to rhyme. That's sort of fun.

[John Patrick Cohen]

It's. Mr. President.

[Aaron Cheven]

Mr. President. Four score and seven years ago, you became President of these great United States.

[John Patrick Cohen]

No. Wrong.

[Aaron Cheven]

I'm nervous.

[John Patrick Cohen]

You seem nervous. Yes. You're one of my new aids. Correct.

[Aaron Cheven]

Yes.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Well, thank you.

[Aaron Cheven]

I'm sort of doing a calculation in my brain right now. If I grab your hat and go back to the future, that would probably be worth a good amount of money, huh? And then I could live off that. Or I could keep you alive.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Why would you think that? How would you prove it?

[Aaron Cheven]

Someone could, like, carbon date it or.

[John Patrick Cohen]

All right, well, I've got my spectacles, so thank you so much. No, no, no, Betsy.

[Aaron Cheven]

America, I would say.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Where are the rest of my staff, by the way?

[Aaron Cheven]

I killed them.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, boy.

[Aaron Cheven]

I would say.

[John Patrick Cohen]

All right, Lincoln, think any Weapons in the room. Think, think.

[Aaron Cheven]

Don't go to a play.

[Adol Refy]

And we flash forward in time to a classroom. And so kids, that's why we celebrate our greatest American witch, Betsy America. Now, of course, Betsy America did kill all of Lincoln's cabinet. What else did Betsy America do throughout the years? Someone else.

[Aaron Cheven]

She went back in time to try to kiss JFK.

[Adol Refy]

That's right. She spent three years and $2.8 trillion of the government's budget to kiss JFK. Now at first people were upset, but given that Betsy America was the only person with time travel permissions, we all just had to cope with it. Who else? Who else has something they know that Betsy America did?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, I know that Betsy America went back in time to the time of Thomas Jefferson and the Louisiana Purchase and she negotiated herself a 10% finder's fee.

[Adol Refy]

That's right. So she was like Rockefellers. Like the Rockefellers and the rest Carnegie's combined.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Even though the deal would have gone through, she made like $4 million.

[Adol Refy]

That's right. So she profited off being first witch. Of course, she also went back in time to try and kiss a stegosaurus. She went back in time to try and kiss anyone and everything imaginable.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Didn't she go back in time to kill baby Hitler in the cradle? But then she changed her mind and just had kind of a lovely day with him. That didn't affect the.

[Adol Refy]

No, I don't think she did that. She helped raise him.

[Aaron Cheven]

No, I don't think she did that. Zane, what is the answer to this riddle?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh yeah, this is.

[Adol Refy]

Who is the Cadaverous Man?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Cadaverous. Okay, Aaron, is this man dead?

[Aaron Cheven]

No.

[John Patrick Cohen]

So he just.

[Aaron Cheven]

I think that this is. You're gonna die the way that this man is not dead.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I'm gonna die. You're gonna die.

[Adol Refy]

Everything's fine.

[Aaron Cheven]

There's absolutely no reason why this man needed to be as sickly as he was. Like there's absolutely nothing in this connected to him. Looking so tall.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Is this a process server? Is he like one of these people who's like following them to serve the papers?

[Adol Refy]

No.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Is he a private eye who's investigating someone who's cheating on their wife?

[Aaron Cheven]

No, but this is like.

[Adol Refy]

Is this like a bud, like cardboard cutout that's in all of the bars?

[Aaron Cheven]

No, but you know, the way that you should be thinking is keep in mind that these guys are really drunk and maybe a little out of it.

[Adol Refy]

Oh, okay, okay.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I didn't even know that they were drunk. I thought they just kept moving Bars.

[Adol Refy]

Is it Halloween? And these are all, like, decorations of Dracula or something?

[John Patrick Cohen]

That's really good.

[Aaron Cheven]

Not Halloween.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Is this man following these two people?

[Aaron Cheven]

In a way? He's connected to them in some way? I wouldn't call it following.

[Adol Refy]

Oh, he's.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Is he an employee of theirs?

[Aaron Cheven]

That's the closest. He's getting paid by them.

[John Patrick Cohen]

He's getting paid by them. So, yeah, my guess was that he was like a bodyguard or something. Or like a driver. Oh, he's the driver.

[Adol Refy]

Driver.

[Aaron Cheven]

He said, I'm the taxi driver who's been driving you from bar to bar.

[Adol Refy]

Nice one, Japes.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Wow. Taxi driver shouldn't go in the bar, right? Stay in the taxi.

[Adol Refy]

I've seen my taxi driver drinking. Okay, that's fair.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah, it is. He is drinking soda water. But also, I guess. Yeah, I guess. This is an old. Aaron, can you give me a publication date on this book?

[Aaron Cheven]

Oh, yeah, and by the way, this book is called Infuriating Lateral Thinking Problems.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah, that's infuriating, because here's the thing with that riddle.

[Aaron Cheven]

1997.

[John Patrick Cohen]

97. In 97, were you telling the taxi driver to, like, leave the meter running so you could go into a bar and drink? That's definitely something we're not doing nowadays. No one's telling the Uber driver to not take another fucking, like, Uber ride. That's crazy.

[Adol Refy]

Wasn't 97 the year where Clinton went on Arsenio hall to play the saxophone and then Betsy America showed up and smacked it out of his mouth?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Well, you know what?

[Aaron Cheven]

She definitely did that.

[John Patrick Cohen]

We should take a quick break and reflect on all of the things that Betsy America has done for this great country.

[Adol Refy]

Jpc. You know how not too long ago, Aaron was a car. We don't really need to dwell on it. Sometimes you're asking yourself weird things like, why didn't they teach us this in school? I feel that way almost anytime I'm dealing with money.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Amen.

[Adol Refy]

Famously, I'm very bad with money. Famously, you're very good with money. That's why I'm giving my kids, AKA my cats, a head start on their money skills with acorns early.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Now, if I know your cats, they're going to take those acorns, put them outside your door, and then feed them to squirrels so they can watch squirrels going outside of your door. But children, human children, they're very different. They have different learning patterns than cats. We're getting wildly off topic. Erin used to be a car. That's why she's not here. But that's Been resolved at this point so we don't have to worry about that.

[Adol Refy]

Mostly been resolved. Acorns early is the smart debit card and money app that grows kids money skills as they grow up. This is something that I am going to be gifting to friends that I myself hopefully one day will be gifting to a child and again to my cats. Start with the In App Chores tracker. Teach your kids or cats the value of a dollar. Then let your kids set up their own savings goals and start building healthy money habits early. And you could maybe be like, hey, let's set a goal that you save up to buy, I don't know, like a car one day.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yes. Because it is legal to buy a car.

[Adol Refy]

Yes.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Even if it is or was a human at some point because if it's now a car, it's fine and there's no laws against that. Plus, kids can spend what they've earned with their very own customizable debit card, giving them that extra sense of independence. Plus, with Acorn Early's spending limits and real time spend notifications, parents always stay in control. I have played around with the Acorns early app, so still a little early for my child. But I really love the features. I really love how like simplified it is. I actually think that it like can make learning about money fun and engaging and I think that those are very important things. It's also really important to like demystify, you know, the money. You know, money isn't something that's like, you know, dirty or dangerous or something. It's just like a tool like anything else that we use to exist in society. And I think that Acorns early is a great way to introduce children to that.

[Adol Refy]

Absolutely. Hey jpz, do you notice even though Aaron's not a car anymore, that sometimes when she sneezes it sounds like vroom.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah. And sometimes when she, not to be indelicate, farts it sounds like honk, honk, honk honk. Passes gas. It sounds like honk honk, honk honk honk honk honk.

[Adol Refy]

Yes. And then I immediately want to get anyway ready to teach your kids the smart way to earn, save and spend. Get your first month on us when you head to acornserly.com heyriddle or download the Acorns early app. That's one month free when you sign up at acornserly.com heYRiddle Acorns early is issued by Community Federal Savings Bank Member FDIC pursuant to license by MasterCard International. Free trial for new subscribers Only subscription fee starting for $5 per month. And let's cancel terms. [e-mail] earlyterms.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Aaron's not a car. Take control of your money.

[Adol Refy]

Ah. Aaron Keefe, jpc. Have a seat. Welcome to dinner.

[Aaron Cheven]

Fun, fun.

[John Patrick Cohen]

And this is gratis, right? I want to say I'm.

[Adol Refy]

Potatoes are gratis. Yes, the potatoes are free, but the meal is exquisite and the finest. Hey, Aaron, can I tell you a secret?

[Aaron Cheven]

Yeah.

[Adol Refy]

This is Tempo. It's all Tempo.

[Aaron Cheven]

Oh, it smells so good. That's why it smells so good. Can I tell you how grateful I am for this?

[Adol Refy]

Yes.

[Aaron Cheven]

This season. This, like, back to school season always has a wave of busyness, leaving very little room for me to, like, cook for myself and make nutritious meals. So, like, this means so much.

[Adol Refy]

Oh, Aaron. I agree. Tempo serves up fast. Feel good single serving meals that are crafted to cook in just three minutes. A minute for each of us. So you can eat well without sacrificing taste or convenience.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Wait, should the chef. Should the chef be. Because I can hear that. That sounds like the chef is serving.

[Aaron Cheven]

Me with new recipes each week that are made with real ingredients and nutrient rich. They make it easy to keep up a healthy lifestyle.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Look, I know about Tempo's perfectly portioned lunches and dinners that take the guesswork out of eating. Well, they're fully prepared and they can be heated in the microwave in just three minutes. I just thought this was like a fancy French dinner and potatoes au gratin and all that stuff. Am I out of line here?

[Aaron Cheven]

You can make it customized to you, monsieur. Protein packed, calorie conscious, carb conscious and fiber rich. Bonjour. Bonjour.

[Adol Refy]

Bonjour. Bonjour. Some of my favorite meals, bistro style. Garlic dijon chicken with green beans and roasted tomatoes.

[John Patrick Cohen]

That sounds good.

[Adol Refy]

Yeah, With Chef Kiss. Well, I just call it Kiss. I guess not. Chef Kiss. Also.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh.

[Adol Refy]

Beef barbacoa rice bowl with poblano cream sauce and corn.

[Aaron Cheven]

My favorite woman, Barbara Koa.

[Adol Refy]

It's weird to say corn in a French accent. Karen.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Also, don't say my favorite woman. Eric.

[Aaron Cheven]

My favorite woman.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Look, all I know is that for a limited time, Tempo is offering my listener 60% off your first box. So go to tempomeals.com riddle that's tempomeals.com riddle for 60% off your first box. Tempo meals.com riddle R I D D L E. Rules and restrictions may apply.

[Aaron Cheven]

Le Bonjour. Bonjour.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Bonjour.

[Aaron Cheven]

Bonjour. I don't know. You say. Say it to him now. Goodbye. Bonjour.

[Adol Refy]

Bonjour. And my favorite woman is no in the ad. Jealous much? New coat, new shirt, new pants.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Adol, you didn't get those from the emperor, did you?

[Adol Refy]

No, I think that guy was actually not wearing any clothes.

[Aaron Cheven]

Oh, I knew it. And everyone says he was and I knew he wasn't. I felt like I knew he wasn't.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Interesting that my experience with the emperor. His clothes are awesome.

[Aaron Cheven]

Adol, your clothes look fantastic. They look like very expensive. That must have costed you an arm and a leg.

[Adol Refy]

No, actually we don't pay with limbs, we pay with money. But this was actually very cheap in terms of money. This is from Quince, my good lady.

[Aaron Cheven]

I love Quince.

[Adol Refy]

Quince has the kind of fall staples you'll wear non stop. Like super soft, 100% Mongolian cashmere sweaters. Touch, please touch. Starting at just $60. That's bonkers.

[John Patrick Cohen]

$60?

[Adol Refy]

Yeah, $60.

[Aaron Cheven]

Their denim is durable and fits right. And their real leather jackets bring the clean, classic edge without the elevated price tag. I have sheets from Quinn's. I got a skirt from Quinn's. I love quints.

[Adol Refy]

On the walk over here wearing quints, a bunch of photographers were like, who is that guy? That's clearly like somebody's little brother. Like Nathan. Nathan, Levi's cousin or something taller.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Younger brother. And what makes Quince different? Well, they partner directly with ethical factories and skip the middlemen. So you get top tier fabrics and craftsmanship at half the price of similar brands and middlemen are flipping out about it. I saw a middleman on the phone in a parking lot tearing the hair out of his head. He was so mad at Quince.

[Adol Refy]

Is he okay?

[John Patrick Cohen]

No, he looks really distressed. Personally, I love my lightweight hoodie. I think it's like perfect for the cooler weather. It's kind of the in between hoodie that you can get between like, you know, a fall jacket and, you know, your summer clothes. It's awesome. It's like a must have staple of my wardrobe.

[Aaron Cheven]

And I got my eye on some boots at Quint's for the fall. Just a tall boot. I haven't had one of those like riding boots in a minute and I'm excited. I might get them in black or maybe like a chocolate color. Come back to me. Come back to me.

[Adol Refy]

Sounds good. Friends puts on sunglasses. So keep it classic and cool this fall with long lasting staples from quince. Go to quince.com riddle for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com riddle free shipping and 365 day returns.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Quince.com riddle I have got Aaron on a joke website. I'm about to sell her chocolate boots. I think she's gonna walk around.

[Aaron Cheven]

Yum, yum, yum, yum.

[Adol Refy]

I will stay and watch this.

[Aaron Cheven]

Eats them like Cookie Monster.

[John Patrick Cohen]

This show is sponsored by BetterHelp.

[Aaron Cheven]

Guys, I need to find a better solution than what I've been using. I've been going up to this character that's sitting at a booth that it's like free advice for 5 cents. She's being really mean to me. And then I tried to kick a football and she moved it and went, are you joking? That was so embarrassing. And I feel like that's not good therapy moving forward. I need to find a better solution.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Nuts. Oh, Aaron, you can't be doing that. You gotta do what I do. You have to whisper your secrets into a rock and throw the rock into.

[Adol Refy]

The ocean or do what I do, which is use BetterHelp, which I think is probably the best option.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, yeah. Okay. Don't talk to a rock or talk to somebody at a five suit booth. From what sounds like a comic. Talk to an online therapist at BetterHelp.

[Adol Refy]

Yeah, Aaron. BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform, having served over 5 million people globally. It's convenient as well. You can join a session with a therapist at the click of a button, helping you fit therapy into your busy life, I assume, plus switch therapists at any time.

[Aaron Cheven]

In BetterHelp's quality, therapists work according to a strict code of conduct and are fully licensed in the US they're not.

[Adol Refy]

Going to move a football on you, Aaron.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Aaron. They won't move the football or they won't throw the rock back. In fact, they've been told specifically not to throw any rocks.

[Aaron Cheven]

Hmm. BetterHelp does the initial matching work for you so you can focus on your therapy goals. A short questionnaire helps identify your needs and preferences. In their ten plus years of experience. An industry leading match fulfillment rate means they typically get it right the first time. And if you aren't happy with your match, you can switch to a different therapist anytime to your tailored needs, whenever. Whenever.

[John Patrick Cohen]

And as the largest online therapy provider in the world, BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals with a diverse variety of Expertise. Find the one with BetterHelp, our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com Riddle that's BetterHelp. H-E-L-P.com Riddle Hey, Adol, can I tell you a secret?

[Adol Refy]

Yeah.

[John Patrick Cohen]

It's me. I'm in the booth. I'm in the booth.

[Adol Refy]

Nice one.

[Aaron Cheven]

Well, I'm gonna go back to the booth and try the football one more time.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I'm gonna let her have it this time. I'm gonna let her have it.

[Aaron Cheven]

Hey, we're back with more of Molly's riddle book.

[John Patrick Cohen]

It's time for MOL.

[Adol Refy]

All these written books.

[Aaron Cheven]

A man and his wife went on vacation. Two months later. The man called the police to report the location of a body near the place where he had been on holiday. The police thanked the man, then asked why it had taken him two months to report the body. What was the reason?

[Adol Refy]

Is this like a Santa Claus situation where it was like early November? The guy saw dead Santa. The guy put on the Santa suit, said, I can't let the kids down, fulfilled all the orders, kind of turned into Santa, and then went to the.

[Aaron Cheven]

You're reading this verbatim. Do you have the same book in front of you?

[John Patrick Cohen]

You know what the worst part about this riddle is? I know we've done this riddle or something so similar on the podcast before and I just don't remember the answer. But it's like I have it very clearly in my mind that I should know this because I've had to guess it before.

[Aaron Cheven]

I think we've had something similar within the first 50 episodes of. I vaguely remember something similar to this.

[John Patrick Cohen]

That sounds right. Cause it sounds so far. It sounds so far away that I'm like, oh boy.

[Adol Refy]

Is it something to do with like the dead body always looked like it was in a sleeping position, like somebody died on a beach chair or something and it just looked like they were getting scan or something.

[John Patrick Cohen]

He's on a honeymoon, right? That's.

[Aaron Cheven]

On vacation.

[John Patrick Cohen]

He's on vacation.

[Aaron Cheven]

Two months later, the man called the police to report the location of a body near the place where he had been on holiday.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Is he on holiday with his wife or.

[Aaron Cheven]

Yeah, him and his wife went on vacation. That doesn't really matter.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Okay. And it's not his wife's body, right?

[Aaron Cheven]

No.

[Adol Refy]

Okay, so why would he delay telling for two months? And is it a human body? Did you say that?

[Aaron Cheven]

Yes, it is.

[Adol Refy]

Okay.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Is it something to do with this man had to wait like a two month period for something else to happen in his life before. Like he kind of like he was on, he was on like parole or whatever and he couldn't, he couldn't, he.

[Aaron Cheven]

Couldn'T keep in Mind, this book was written in 1997. That is helpful.

[Adol Refy]

Okay, so the man was blind. He went to. Huh?

[Aaron Cheven]

Keep going.

[Adol Refy]

He went to Australia with his Seeing Eye dog. But in Australia, In Australia they have to quarantine your pets for like two months.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, Aaron, I know what it is. We have had it before. He had to get the photos developed. He didn't know that he saw the body until he got the photos.

[Adol Refy]

Very good, very good.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I want to see a scene. Adol, you are going to be developing photo. And as maybe people don't know when you were developing photos, the person who developed the photos got to look at all the photos before they were developed. And Aaron, you are picking up your photos and Adol, it's very obvious to Aaron that you have looked at these photos.

[Adol Refy]

Hi, how come.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh.

[Aaron Cheven]

Hi.

[Adol Refy]

Picking up.

[Aaron Cheven]

I have a photo pickup for Maureen Enbridge, please.

[Adol Refy]

What was the name again?

[Aaron Cheven]

Maureen.

[Adol Refy]

E M B E R S. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Okay, here you go.

[Aaron Cheven]

Sorry, were you guys, were you laughing back there at something?

[Adol Refy]

Oh, yeah, we were just thinking of just like what Dilbert gets up to.

[John Patrick Cohen]

There's no one else there.

[Adol Refy]

So typically we have doubles, you know, like, were.

[Aaron Cheven]

You just laughing about what Dilbert get to do? Yeah, because they're an employee in the back that you were laughing about that with.

[Adol Refy]

Yes, they're on. They're just off screen in movie terms. So usually we have duplicates of all the photos, but you might notice that some. Our duplicate machine has been.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I'm going to close that and go home. Are you cool closing alone? Cause you're the last one here.

[Aaron Cheven]

Huh?

[Adol Refy]

Yeah, last one here. Wink, wink. Sorry. My boss has been a real goose.

[Aaron Cheven]

Are you the only two people who are here right now?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah.

[Aaron Cheven]

So you were the one laughing with him about Dilbert and what he's been up to.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I came from behind you.

[Adol Refy]

Come on, man.

[Aaron Cheven]

Huh?

[Adol Refy]

Just like Dilbert. Classic Dilbert. Always walking up behind somebody at the water cooler.

[Aaron Cheven]

You're the manager? Yeah, you're the manager. And we've spoken before and I told you guys it was two strikes with my photos. And if any of your employees look through my photos again, I'm bringing my business somewhere else.

[John Patrick Cohen]

You're Embers. Embers. Correct.

[Aaron Cheven]

Yeah. Maureen Embers.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah, Maureen. Well, we have to look through the photos just to develop them, but I can assure you Jeff is our best photo guy. And he.

[Aaron Cheven]

He took my duplicates.

[Adol Refy]

No, our duplicate machine is broken. So we have one machine that makes the photos and then one that makes the duplicates. If that Makes sense. It's real technical. But I've never seen you kissing your own hand to practice. Never.

[Aaron Cheven]

That's exactly what's in the photo, sir.

[Adol Refy]

Lucky guess.

[Aaron Cheven]

And doctor patient confidentiality or whatever.

[Adol Refy]

Hold on.

[Aaron Cheven]

Hipaa. Hipaa.

[Adol Refy]

She's lying. You went to go see a guy named doctor patient confidentiality? What is he, Greek?

[Aaron Cheven]

Oh, my gosh. See, this is what I'm saying. This is an invasion of my privacy. Yes, I. I have a big kiss coming up, and I wanted to practice.

[Adol Refy]

You also have a butthole in your neck. She has a butthole in the middle of her neck. She took a photo of it. That's why she. That's why she stands with her neck to her chest.

[Aaron Cheven]

How dare you?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Ma', am. You. Please, sir, Ma', am, please raise your neck.

[Aaron Cheven]

No.

[Adol Refy]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

[John Patrick Cohen]

If what Jeff says is true, I have to. I have to kick you out of this.

[Adol Refy]

How do I not have a camera for this moment?

[Aaron Cheven]

I'm getting?

[John Patrick Cohen]

And I have to give you a lifetime ban. If what Jeff says is true, I'm take.

[Aaron Cheven]

I'm leaving. I'm leaving.

[John Patrick Cohen]

No. Show your neck.

[Aaron Cheven]

Ma'.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Am. Show your neck, or everything you said up to this point makes you a liar.

[Aaron Cheven]

I'm leaving.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Okay?

[Aaron Cheven]

I'm leaving.

[John Patrick Cohen]

You're free to go. But, ma', am, I just have to say the police are waiting outside.

[Aaron Cheven]

Wow.

[Adol Refy]

You're under arrest for having a butthole on your neck.

[John Patrick Cohen]

This man's name is Jeff Hansen. He is To Catch a Predator idea. Well, he's at a cop.

[Adol Refy]

Oh, whoops.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Jeff.

[Aaron Cheven]

Hold on, you guys. You guys, I'm gonna zoom out the scene and look at it on a table. Where did we go wrong? I want to bring in a scene quality control person, and you tell me exactly where we went wrong.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Studied the scene. Being like it looks like it was perfectly executed follows every formula.

[Aaron Cheven]

Oh, boy.

[Adol Refy]

I love Aaron, your character being so indignant. And then as soon as they brought up your neck, you're like, I'm just gonna go. I need to go. This isn't worth it.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I do think that when Eren was so insistent on going, I was like, well, now we can't let her go. We have. We have to make her stay.

[Adol Refy]

We simply must.

[Aaron Cheven]

Next riddle. In what place would you find Julius Caesar, the biblical Rachel, King David, Pallas, Athena, the goddess of war, King Charlemagne, Alexander the Great, Queen Elizabeth I of England, and Sir Lancelot all together?

[Adol Refy]

Hell.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Pornhub.com history.

[Aaron Cheven]

Oh, my God.

[Adol Refy]

Okay, Aaron's going to pornhub.com history.

[Aaron Cheven]

Okay, I'm gonna need 40 minutes.

[Adol Refy]

There's a lot of Family Guy.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Brian, Lance. A lot. Adolescent library. I think that's a pretty good call.

[Aaron Cheven]

I like that. Guess that's not what the answer is, though.

[Adol Refy]

I mean, this is tough because this could be a lot of places.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I was thinking encyclopedia.

[Aaron Cheven]

No.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Can you give us.

[Aaron Cheven]

This is almost like a fact that. This is not almost. This is a fact that I did not know and I'm finding very interesting.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Can you give us the rundown of these people one more time?

[Aaron Cheven]

Julius Caesar, Biblical Rachel, King David, Pallas, Athena, King Charlemagne, Alexander the Great, Queen Elizabeth I of England and Sir Lancelot.

[Adol Refy]

They're all in, I want to say.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Like a family tree. Like a genealogy. Damn.

[Adol Refy]

Is it. They're all, like, entombed in the same area or given.

[Aaron Cheven]

No.

[Adol Refy]

Celebrated at some sort of. Okay.

[Aaron Cheven]

This is actually a fascinating fact. I'm 100% sure this has never crossed my desk and I haven't heard it.

[Adol Refy]

They're all in hospitals in terms of like, Dave inspired terminology. Caesarean.

[Aaron Cheven]

No.

[Adol Refy]

Julius Caesar.

[Aaron Cheven]

That's not what that is. That cannot be what that is. Is it?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah.

[Adol Refy]

Julius Caesar was ripped from his mother's womb, but was not given birth to vaginally. And so it's called a Caesarean.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Are these popularizations of the dish Salad? I believe you said Julius Caesar. Joseph Wedge.

[Adol Refy]

Can I get the Athena Cobb?

[Aaron Cheven]

Athena Cobb?

[John Patrick Cohen]

No, Rachel from the Bible.

[Adol Refy]

We were on a break.

[Aaron Cheven]

A picture. Like what these people kind of look like. Their likeness is different.

[Adol Refy]

They all have those little thin, golden Olympic things.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, yeah, the little Olympic tiaras. Yeah, but they're like. They're like a backwards quarter crown or like three quarter crown. Right.

[Adol Refy]

Gardens at that.

[Aaron Cheven]

Okay, I think I'm just going to tell you.

[Adol Refy]

They all have statues. They all Jewish.

[John Patrick Cohen]

No, no. Okay.

[Adol Refy]

Athena. Very Jewish.

[Aaron Cheven]

Oh, there is handsomeness. Their images are found together in one common place.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Coins.

[Aaron Cheven]

Nope. They are found on something which is in common use and has been for many years.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Common use.

[Aaron Cheven]

They are used in a form of a game.

[Adol Refy]

They've all been outlines for the NBA logo.

[John Patrick Cohen]

That's so funny. That's so funny.

[Aaron Cheven]

I'll tell you right now.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I just saw, like Rachel from the Bible doing the Michael Jordan, like, outstretched.

[Aaron Cheven]

Dunk thing on a pack of playing cards. The original designs for kings, queens and jacks are based on these characters. I would like to see a scene.

[Adol Refy]

That's amazing.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Whoa.

[Aaron Cheven]

I had an idea. Adel, your Vegas dealer and jpc, you are playing blackjack and you are dealt one of the cards. And you think it looks so much like you that you start accusing the dealer, stealing your likeness.

[Adol Refy]

Okay, that's a six.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Six showing a six hit.

[Adol Refy]

That's a 16 with the double clubs.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Where's Denny? Where is he? Where's Denny?

[Adol Refy]

16'S tough when the dealer's showing 18, so I know.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Where's my friend Denny? Where's my buddy?

[Adol Refy]

I'm not sure, sir.

[John Patrick Cohen]

This is. I see what you're doing here.

[Adol Refy]

Me.

[John Patrick Cohen]

This a picture of me.

[Adol Refy]

I'm sorry?

[John Patrick Cohen]

The Jack Club's a picture of me. This is a joke deck. This isn't real.

[Adol Refy]

This is our standard Caesar's palace deck.

[John Patrick Cohen]

This is your standard deck.

[Adol Refy]

We can get. Sir, we can get you a free drink if you just calm down and stop being weird.

[John Patrick Cohen]

First of all, I'm not being calm.

[Adol Refy]

Agreed.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Second of all, where's Denny? I know he'd put you up to this. I know it's a trick deck. Look at my profile. Look at my loop. Look at me in profile.

[Adol Refy]

Okay. Single loves chocolate.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, I'm sorry. I leave that out on the table. Hold on, hold on. Look at the profile of my face. And look at this Jack of clubs. This is me. This is a picture of me.

[Adol Refy]

Sir. There's a passing. A passing likeness, but I would never.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Say so you admit it.

[Adol Refy]

Okay, sir, I'm gonna bring in my pit boss.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Just great. Mr. Worldwide. I'd love to see him. I love to meet him.

[Aaron Cheven]

I know you want me. I know I want you. I know you want me. I know you want me.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I had tickets to your chur. Later.

[Aaron Cheven]

Sure.

[John Patrick Cohen]

It's nice to see you. Now. I took a cheer shirt. Later.

[Aaron Cheven]

Sure, later. Welcome to Ververly.

[John Patrick Cohen]

All right, all right, all right. If this isn't me on Jack of Clubs. If that's not me on Jeff. Jack of Clubs. Hit me. Hit me. Hit me. Hit me. Hit me. Hit me. Hit me.

[Aaron Cheven]

Punch. Punch. Punch.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Punch.

[Aaron Cheven]

Punch.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I'm getting beat up by. Oh, no. I dropped my goose eggs.

[Adol Refy]

He's going down.

[Aaron Cheven]

The bigger they are, the harder they fall.

[Adol Refy]

He's bigger they fall.

[Aaron Cheven]

It was your friend Denny. I was going to be your friend Denny at the end pretending to be Pitbull.

[John Patrick Cohen]

But you were Pitbull and you punched the goose eggs out of me.

[Aaron Cheven]

Exactly.

[Adol Refy]

Jbc. Casey, pull out your bingo cards. Who had Aaron knowing the Pitbull wrap during Kesha's Timber?

[Casey Toney]

That's my center square.

[Adol Refy]

Actually, that's center.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Bigger they are, the harder they fall. That one?

[Aaron Cheven]

Yeah. It's twerking in their Bra and thong. Timber. Face down, booty up, timber. That's the way we like to what? Timber. Thicker than an oil spill I bet you won't but she says you will Swing your partner round and round. End of the night it's going down. One more shot, another round. End of the night it's going down.

[Adol Refy]

Here's the thing. This. If I'm at home and this song comes on like my Spotify free playlist or something, I'm like, okay, skip if I'm at a wedding. Skipping timber if I'm at a wedding. Holy sh. I'm like, yes.

[Aaron Cheven]

My adol's eyes go completely black. He's in the middle of the dance floor and he's just swinging. Woo.

[John Patrick Cohen]

If you try to skip timber. If you're like, hey, Siri, skip song. Siri pops off with like, nice drama. I'm sorry, are you trying to skip timber? What's wrong? Do you need me to call someone for you? You try to skip timber and the emergency contact thing pops up and it's like, do you want to down download?

[Adol Refy]

Sir, did you fall down?

[John Patrick Cohen]

You're skipping timber. Do you not want to party?

[Adol Refy]

Did you fall down and the corner of a stair hit your Spotify Fast forward your skip. No. Okay, he's crazy.

[John Patrick Cohen]

This guy's crazy.

[Adol Refy]

Clear.

[Aaron Cheven]

Also, I don't know the lyrics to anything, but I know the lyrics to that, so brain is uniquely broken.

[Adol Refy]

Tambo.

[Aaron Cheven]

John was colorblind because of his affliction. He landed an important job. What was it?

[Adol Refy]

Because of his affliction, he landed an important job.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Traffic light operator.

[Aaron Cheven]

Nope.

[Adol Refy]

Christmas denier.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Christmas denier.

[Adol Refy]

Fancy greener.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Happy holiday.

[Aaron Cheven]

That's really funny.

[John Patrick Cohen]

He went to war on Christmas. Okay, so he can't. Colorblind traditionally is red and green. Right. Those are the two. You can't.

[Adol Refy]

And they can't be pilots. They can't. Right. You can't be colorblind and be a pilot.

[John Patrick Cohen]

You know a lot of jobs that are unavailable to you because you're colorblind. But this is a job that he gets specifically because he. He is colorblind.

[Adol Refy]

I don't see color.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, does he work for the Obama administration? Did he cure racism? Yes, in America.

[Adol Refy]

Legally, I can't see color.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Okay, so it's some career.

[Adol Refy]

Yeah. Aaron, can you read it one more time just so I can.

[Aaron Cheven]

I would love to model.

[Adol Refy]

Thank you.

[Aaron Cheven]

John was colorblind because of this affliction. He landed an important job. What was it? And this is one of those weird historical facts.

[Adol Refy]

Oh, okay, so this Is like, a real thing. What would someone who's colorblind be especially equipped for?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Okay, so is this a thing where he got battlefield command because he couldn't see the blood or something on the uniform or some shit like that where he's, like, a general? This is surgeon John Adams.

[Adol Refy]

John Adams. I know him.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Okay. Is this a famous Jon Arryn?

[Aaron Cheven]

No.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Okay, so we wouldn't.

[Aaron Cheven]

I feel like you guys have kind of been circling this.

[Adol Refy]

Is this.

[Aaron Cheven]

Oh, sorry, go ahead.

[Adol Refy]

Is this anything to do with. What is it called? Captcha. Like the.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, yeah.

[Adol Refy]

Cause sometimes those have, like.

[Aaron Cheven]

Yeah, I would say that. I'll accept that. That's so close. John was employed by the Air force during wartime to detect camouflage enemy positions from aerial photographs.

[Adol Refy]

Oh, so smart.

[Aaron Cheven]

Designed to fool people with normal vision. People who are colorblind are much better at spotting the differences in texture and shading in a landscape.

[John Patrick Cohen]

All right, let's not say normal, Aaron.

[Adol Refy]

Pretty gross to say normal vision.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah, kind of visual.

[Adol Refy]

Also, Paul Bettany is rolling in his bed.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Paul Bettany's rolling in his bed. Damn jealous. Who's he in there with? Love to be in that bed.

[Adol Refy]

Well, he's normal vision, but then there's also. I want to say Hulkbuster vision.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Hulkbuster vision.

[Aaron Cheven]

We're gonna do one more riddle, and then we're gonna do a voicemail, and then we're gonna apologize to each other.

[Adol Refy]

Aww.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, okay. And Paul Bettany and people who are colorblind.

[Adol Refy]

He's the one.

[Aaron Cheven]

A woman was sitting in her hotel room where there was a knock at the door. She opened the door to see a man whom she had never seen before. He said, oh, I'm sorry. I have made a mistake. I thought this was my room. He then went off down the corridor to the elevator. The woman went back to her room and phoned reception and asked them to apprehend the man who she was sure was a thief. What made her so sure?

[Adol Refy]

Aaron, my dear, you don't knock at a door. It's your room.

[Aaron Cheven]

It's your own room. I'd like to see a scene. Adol. You are staying in a hotel room, and JPC is going to knock on the door and pretend that that is his room.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Knock, knock, knock.

[Adol Refy]

Babe, did you order room service?

[Aaron Cheven]

I did not, and I still need a couple more minutes of space.

[Adol Refy]

Okay, Lisa, you can just say no.

[Aaron Cheven]

I did not.

[Adol Refy]

I did not sounds. You're not. This isn't a deposition.

[Aaron Cheven]

I'm sorry. We're in a fight.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Knock Knock, knock.

[Adol Refy]

You always talk like Legalese. What?

[John Patrick Cohen]

I.

[Adol Refy]

Did you. I did not just say no.

[Aaron Cheven]

Well, I'm sorry. I don't really want to be warm and casual with you right now. We're in a huge fight. Huge fight.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Knock, knock, knock.

[Adol Refy]

Just a minute. It's probably the guy at the reception. I feel like, huge. Recognize me? Hello?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, hi.

[Adol Refy]

Hi. Can I help you? Are you.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, this is my room. Are you cleaning the room or. Why?

[Adol Refy]

No, no. I'm in my boxers and a Zeppelin T shirt.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Can tell.

[Adol Refy]

Yeah, this.

[John Patrick Cohen]

What's going on? This. I'm 378. This is 378.

[Adol Refy]

This is 378. But I. I think this is sort of like. Do you ever see.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Are you in there?

[Adol Refy]

Who you asked for?

[Aaron Cheven]

Hi.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Okay. What the fuck is my wife doing in that room with you, man?

[Adol Refy]

Wait, why'd you say hi instead of like, yes, speaking? This is her.

[Aaron Cheven]

Well, we're not in a fight.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Lisi, what the hell is going on? Who is this guy?

[Aaron Cheven]

He is my friend from work. What?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh. Oh, my God. I thought the worst for a second. Oh, shit.

[Aaron Cheven]

No, no. I'm not living a double life, okay?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Hey. Sorry, man. Well, you must have spilled something on your clothes or something and had to take them off. I got the takeout.

[Adol Refy]

Well, I spilled. I don't want to say that.

[Aaron Cheven]

Thanks, honey. I'll grab the takeout.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Okay. Sorry, man. I didn't catch your name. Are you joining us for dinner?

[Aaron Cheven]

Oh, we have work stuff to do, honey. So if you want to come back later.

[Adol Refy]

Who are you calling honey? Me, I hope. What's.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Why would you be calling you honey, man? You're at work.

[Adol Refy]

Why are you wearing a wedding ring that matches my wedding ring?

[John Patrick Cohen]

This is a yellow gold wedding ring. Seems like a pretty yellow gold.

[Aaron Cheven]

Shutting the door.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, you're going to the bathroom to eat. Interesting. Okay, well, she's going to the bathroom to eat. She does that sometimes. You must know from work.

[Adol Refy]

On the count of three, let's say how we both know Lisa.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Hey, real quick. Yeah, it was kind of contentious in here when I came in. Did you guys have, like a work fight or something?

[Adol Refy]

We had a big fight about.

[John Patrick Cohen]

What was it about?

[Adol Refy]

About Led Zeppelin.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, no. You want to chat with Lisa about Led Zeppelin?

[Adol Refy]

She says Houses of Jesus. Well, no.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Well, Lisa knows Led Zeppelin pretty well, so it seems to me you're probably.

[Adol Refy]

She doesn't. Physical Graffiti is their third best album, and she says it's Houses of Holy.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I think you should probably apologize. You know, I Mean, that's.

[Adol Refy]

Do you apologize to Lisa when you're in a fight?

[John Patrick Cohen]

All the time. Fuck yeah. It's kind of what makes me such a good partner.

[Aaron Cheven]

Lisa is scaling down the side of the building. She went out the bathroom window and.

[Adol Refy]

Wait a minute. I'm six five and you're five six. I have a big, bushy beard. You have tiny little mess.

[Aaron Cheven]

All right, we're gonna do a quick voicemail theme and then voicemail.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, yeah, Casey hit us with that voicemail them. 805.

[Adol Refy]

Little one.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Voice fail. What?

[Adol Refy]

That was sick.

[John Patrick Cohen]

That was Gabriel. Gabriel sent that in and said it's a loose cover of a song called Death's Dynamic Shroud, which I've never heard.

[Adol Refy]

Shroud's sort of a loose cover.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah, Shroud is a loose cover. Thank you. Hey, if you want to submit a voicemail theme, go ahead and make it 30 seconds or less. A wav file is preferable. And send it to hrrpodcast.com. nope. Hrrpodcastmail.com. that's the email address. Not like a fake website or whatever. But thank you for that, Gabriel. Casey, can you place a voicemail?

[Aaron Cheven]

Hey, my name is Jamie Stanton, and I'm looking for a new middle name. Currently it's Elliot, and before that, I tried out Gray. I'm non binary, so I'm trying to find something that's gender neutral. So let me know what you think. I will be legally obligated to have this name, so it's a big responsibility. Thank you so much. Bye.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Ooh. Okay.

[Adol Refy]

Anytime I hear Elliot. I just think Elliot.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Well, look, I'll say this right off the bat, since we were talking about it earlier. Your name is Jamie Stanton. You're looking for a middle name, you go with Christ. Suddenly you're jcs. You know what I'm saying?

[Aaron Cheven]

Whoa, whoa.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Jamie Stanton, Superstar.

[Adol Refy]

One for one. It's a one for one.

[John Patrick Cohen]

It's a one for one.

[Aaron Cheven]

I think since it's a middle name, you can do something hilarious.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah. Okay, Aaron, now go ahead and say what that is. Say one hilarious thing.

[Adol Refy]

Did they say their middle name used to be Gray?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Gray and Elliot.

[Aaron Cheven]

What about Help me. What about Einstein? What about. What about Monster?

[Adol Refy]

Betsy America? What was her name?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Betsy America. I think Ribbit is a cool middle name because it's the sound a frog makes.

[Adol Refy]

Oh, yeah. Bonk.

[Aaron Cheven]

What about Moo? Bonk?

[Adol Refy]

Zoink, Zoink, Zip, Zap, Zop. What else?

[John Patrick Cohen]

You know what? What I try to do is I would try to tailor a middle name to Your. The name that you have. So you have Jamie Stanton and you want something that kind of flows in, you know.

[Aaron Cheven]

What about Willow?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Willow.

[Adol Refy]

I like that a lot.

[Aaron Cheven]

That sounds like Jamie Willow Stanton sounds.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Like a profound author or like a like famous assassin.

[Aaron Cheven]

Yes. So you have options of what your career is.

[Adol Refy]

And you could go by JDub, of course. Dub for W. I think also they.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Said they're non binary. I think Willow is a perfectly acceptable non binary name as well. I think we nailed it. It's Willow.

[Adol Refy]

It's Willow.

[Aaron Cheven]

It's also a tree.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, that's better. Name yourself Tree.

[Aaron Cheven]

Tree Cut.

[John Patrick Cohen]

All the names cut. Jamie Cut, Stanton. Just go by Tree. My name's Tree.

[Adol Refy]

Prince, Madonna. Tree.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Tree.

[Adol Refy]

But not spelled how you think.

[John Patrick Cohen]

If you want to send us a voicemail, it's 8:05 riddle one. Make it 30 seconds or less. Guys. We've gotten a lot of like 45 second one minute long voicemails. They're never getting on the show. 30 seconds or less.

[Aaron Cheven]

Use a timer, Adol, anything to plug.

[Adol Refy]

I want to plug a couple things. I want to plug our new podcast with Anthony Burch from Dungeons and Daddies. It is called Gumshoes and Dragons. Dragons. It's been an absolute blast to work on. Our first episode with Brennan Lee Mulligan is out.

[John Patrick Cohen]

No, all three episodes.

[Adol Refy]

All three episodes are out now. Check those out. Very, very excited for that show. Also, hello from the Magic Tavern is on tour so you can see what dates are coming up and buy tickets for that. And hey Riddle. Riddle will soon be on the third leg of our tour so please buy tickets and see where we're coming as well. Aaron, a thank to plug your promotion.

[Aaron Cheven]

If you want to follow Quality time on Instagram. It's my monthly variety show I host here in Los Angeles and would love to see you if you can make it. Gpc, any review to read or anything to plug.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Again, I just want to plug the hey Rid of Riddle tour. We're coming back. The next leg of it is going to be Atlanta, Nashville and Denver. And the first Nashville show is sold out but we still have tickets to the second Nashville show. And Atlanta and Denver are also getting kind of close. It's kind of the last of it is getting hairy and then in the fall we already sold out Boston so apologies if you didn't get your Boston tickets. Maybe there will be some people who can't go or whatever releasing tickets to check like Reddit and Discord and stuff like that. But excited for those fall dates as well.

[Adol Refy]

You know how We've been doing on the last year of touring. Whoever's hosting kind of has everybody else wear costumes that are fitting for the city. I'm hosting the first night in nashville or the first show in nashville, I should say. And I thought about making us all wear chicken onesies with lingerie on top. So it's hot chicken. Is that fun?

[Aaron Cheven]

100%. I already wear that most nights.

[Adol Refy]

And aaron, I apologize that I say that you wear chicken lingerie Just because you wouldn't tell me who your big crush was while you were wearing lingerie.

[John Patrick Cohen]

And Aaron, you said that your chicken lingerie. And these are your words, Aaron. I'm not saying they're my words. You say your chicken lingerie his finger fucking good, right.

[Aaron Cheven]

That's exactly what I said. I'll take full credit for that.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Those are not my words.

[Aaron Cheven]

All right. Jupiter every day. Have fun with that. See you next week.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Created by Adol Refy starring Aaron cheven and John patrick cohen. Casey Tony did the editing. And already parents in the music.

[Aaron Cheven]

Logo.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Created by emily cardamus and Emily Naporus. 1, 2, 3, 4. Hey, riddle ritual.

[Adol Refy]

I'm Connor sanders and I say it's finger fucking good.

[John Patrick Cohen]

That lingerie is finger fucking good.

[Adol Refy]

That lingerie is. Come on down to KFC lingerie. Our lingerie is finger fucking good. Fucking good.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Hey there sasses and squatches. If you like that, you are gonna love this week's patreon. We go on a cryptid hunt. You can listen to that plus our entire back [e-mail] heyridlertle by joining the clue crew for $5 a month. Or start your 7 day free trial or the review crew for $8 a month. Plus you get those ad free episodes. See you there.

[Aaron Cheven]

That was a headgum podcast.