#377: Hello Dali!

Summary

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Hey Riddle Riddle #377: Hello Dali!

Release Date: October 8, 2025
Hosts: Adal Rifai, Erin Keif, John Patrick Coan (JPC)
Theme: A Surrealist Menagerie of Riddles, Absurd Scenes, and Live Tour Energy

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Episode Overview

This episode captures the off-the-rails magic of Hey Riddle Riddle, where the core premise of solving riddles is often an afterthought to the hosts’ rapid-fire banter, surreal improv, and riffing on everything from Salvador Dalí to rabies-awareness car washes. Fresh off live southern shows and prepping for Denver, the trio brings a chaotic energy to what they call “barely a riddle podcast,” peppering the episode with inside jokes, personal stories, and increasingly bizarre hypothetical scenarios.

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Main Discussion Points & Insights

1. Southern Tour Vibes & “Bless Your Heart” Culture

• The hosts reflect on their recent live shows in Atlanta and Nashville.
• JPC is “bless your heart” coded and jokingly appropriates Southern idioms:

  “Their culture is my costume. I'm kind of putting it on and trying it out, and I like it.” – JPC (03:09)

• Commentary on recording in the afternoon vs. morning:

  “Turns out, same energy.” – Aaron (04:20)

2. Surrealist & Meta Podcasting Ideas

• Adal proposes pressing a secret podcast episode to vinyl, Wu-Tang style:

  “We record an episode, we put it on a thumb drive, we then hide it somewhere in the world. ... Whoever finds that episode, it's theirs.” – Adal (07:44)

• The trio spirals into hiding episodes at Six Flags and riffing on the dangers of picking up stray thumb drives:

  “Would you ever pick up a thumb drive off the—this is what libraries are for. You go right to the library and you plug it in over there.” – JPC (08:05)

3. Tech Paranoia and Credit Card Skimming

• Cautionary tales about airport charging stations and credit card security.
• JPC shares personal experiences about data breaches:

  “My information is just out there floating freely now forever.” – JPC (11:39)

4. Improv Scenes: Salvador Dalí, Anteaters, and Gas Leaks

• Banter about Salvador Dalí, anteaters as pets, and a spontaneous scene:

  “Yes, this is my new painting. ... It doesn't exist in three dimensional space, so it can never be on a wall.” – JPC as Salvador Dalí (15:07)

• Factoid: Dalí walked a pet anteater in NYC.
• Aaron introduces “everyone walks on and says there’s a gas leak” as a recurring scene starter after a particularly absurd improv bit. (17:01)

5. Dream Exotic Pets & Animal Tangents

• Erin wants a house filled with butterflies, muses (hilariously morbidly) over the trauma of killing them by accident.
• JPC votes raccoon:

  “They wash their little hands and it’s such a cute little thing for a critter to do.” – JPC (22:11)

• Fun animal facts: raccoon hands are 10,000 times more sensitive than human hands (Aaron, 22:15).
• Adal imagines having pet baby rhinos:

  “I'm gonna go ahead and just say blanket statement I would love to have several of them and just assume they're never gonna get big and leathery…” (25:18)

6. Yes, There Are Riddles!

Riddle Warmups (14:22)

• What do Steel Magnolias, the 1997 cloning controversy, and the surrealist painting world have in common?
  • Solution: “Dolly/Dali/Dolly”
  • (“They have Dolly.” – Adel, 14:43)

“Cabin” Riddle (27:45)

• An airplane, Abe Lincoln’s family, Grizzly Adams – what do they have in common?
  • Solution: “They all had/have cabins.”

Restaurant Employee Riddle (46:36)

• A man eats at a restaurant but doesn’t pay — how?
  • Solution: He’s a staff member who gets a free meal.

Famous Parent Letter Riddle (58:47)

• Why is a boy at boarding school content to receive only a letter from his famous father instead of cash?
  • Solution: The letter itself is valuable because of the father’s fame.

7. Improv Gold: Scenes Off Every Riddle

• Over-the-top scenes riff on Abraham Lincoln’s mom at a dinner party, shift meals for fired restaurant staff, and sneaking into Elvis’s bathroom at Graceland.

8. Rabies Bits: Car Washes & Muppet Parodies

• The gang launches into an extended, darkly comic aside about organizing ineffective rabies-awareness car washes, writing rabies-themed parody songs, and remorse after learning it causes 59,000 global deaths annually.

  “We have a whole slate of November episodes that were Patreon ‘Rabies awareness.’ November is now flushed down the drain.” – JPC (52:21)

9. Personal, Relatable Moments

• Aaron confesses to social awkwardness at a party:

  “Yesterday, I went to an engagement party, and ... I was zero for, like, 60 of social interactions. I didn’t do a good job. Not even one time.” (67:10)

• JPC shares an anecdote about forgetting someone’s name at IO Theater.
• Honest talk about social anxiety, self-doubt, and comedic misfires.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

“You guys, unfortunately a few months ago we did promise that we would be working on the most perfect episode of a podcast ever. … We will press that onto vinyl and then we will throw it into the ocean.”
— Aaron (06:06)

“Just like this podcast, the ratio is two to one of crazy men to crazy women.”
— Aaron, explaining animal-exploiting documentaries vs. gender (19:52)

“Everything is a horny thing. Unless it’s a horny thing, in which case it’s about power. And you learn that in English class.”
— Aaron (13:56 & callback, 22:27)

“If I’m getting fingered by a raccoon, feels just as good to the raccoon as it does to me.”
— JPC (22:37)

“Did you know that raccoon’s hands are 10,000 times more sensitive than human hands?”
— Aaron (22:15)

“Turns out, same energy.”
— Aaron, on recording at a different time of day (04:20)

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Key Timestamps

• 03:00 – 04:30 — Live tour recap & Southern U.S. energy, “bless your heart” riffs
• 06:00 – 09:00 — Hidden episode/“Wu-Tang Clan” vinyl/Thumb drive paranoia
• 14:22 – 15:47 — Riddle warmup: “Dali/Dolly/Dolly”
• 17:01 – 19:05 — “Everyone walks on and says there’s a gas leak” scene
• 20:09 – 27:40 — Animal tangent: anteaters, raccoons, and butterfly trauma
• 27:45 – 33:40 — “Cabin” riddle and Abraham Lincoln’s mom dinner party scene
• 46:36 – 50:03 — Restaurant riddle/scene: Ex-employee comes for “shift meal”
• 51:27 – 55:05 — Rabies joke fallout & learning about global rabies deaths
• 58:47 – 61:34 — Famous parent boarding school riddle & eBay alerts
• 67:10 – 69:40 — Erin’s party social anxiety and confessional

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Episode Tone & Style

• Language/Tone: Fast, absurd, tangential, sometimes blue but always warm. The dynamic is self-deprecating, meta, and unfiltered.
• Structure: Loosely orbiting riddles but often swerving into extended improv scenes and earnest personal stories.
• Vibe: Chaotic good, with recurring callbacks to inside jokes and surreal hypothetical questions.

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For New Listeners

If you’ve never tuned in, episode #377 delivers the Hey Riddle Riddle essence: minimal actual riddles, maximal eccentric comedy, “bits on bits,” and a sense that anything (from raccoon erotica to rabies car washes) could become the new running gag. You’ll get equal parts puzzles, improv, weird animal facts, and confessional comedy — with plenty of memorable quotables.

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Closing Highlights

• Tour plugs: Denver, Philadelphia, NYC, DC — check heyriddleriddle.com/tour for upcoming dates.
• Running gags: Bizarre podcast distribution, cursed objects, and the haunting power (and potential danger) of nostalgia collections on eBay.
• Final thought:

  “Anything to plug or promote? ... We cut JPC’s [rabies] song. That’s all we had time for.” – Aaron (69:55)

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Transcript

[Aaron]

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[JPC]

The doctor was the mother. He stood on a block of ice. Both of them were goldfish. It was the cabin of an airplane. He stabbed him with an ice away. And the horses named Friday.

[Aaron]

All right, Adel, you are just going to keep your eyes open as long as you can, and then the Lasik will shoot a laser right into your eye.

[Adel]

Okay?

[Aaron]

Wait, sorry, is it Lasik or Lasik?

[Adel]

Oh, my God.

[JPC]

How's it spelled?

[Aaron]

L, A, Y, Z, Z, Z, I.

[Adel]

C, K. Oh, why is the countdown still going? This seems like you should have this figured out.

[Aaron]

Well, JPC built this. You said you wanted to fix your eyesight. JPC said I'm on it.

[JPC]

Oh. Oh, I'm sorry for the miscommunication. I was built by this. Oh, yes. I'm sorry. Yeah. Sometimes what's.

[Aaron]

Stop squirming. Stop squirming out of it.

[Adel]

Adol.

[Aaron]

Stop squirming.

[Adel]

I need.

[JPC]

Out.

[Adel]

I need. Adel.

[Aaron]

Adol. Stop squirming.

[JPC]

You know how when you read an email but sometimes you just kind of, like, skim for the important things? That's how I write it almost always.

[Aaron]

Right. Wait.

[JPC]

Yeah, yeah, Right, right.

[Aaron]

So this thing built you.

[JPC]

Ah. Is it or. Okay. And you're done.

[Adel]

Oh, no. Lasers went in my eyes, but JPC's fingers went in my mouth.

[JPC]

Okay.

[Aaron]

Oh, I think he said he's done. He did that email thing again. He finished. Cause he put your fingers in. Here come the lasers.

[JPC]

Don't say finished. Finished implies. But I am done.

[Adel]

Oh.

[Aaron]

How do you feel?

[JPC]

How do you feel?

[Adel]

I want to die.

[Aaron]

So the same.

[JPC]

Okay, now you can't get horny for 48 hours.

[Adel]

I can't get what for 48 hours?

[JPC]

It doesn't matter. And the check is in the mail.

[Adel]

We hope I get paid.

[JPC]

No.

[Aaron]

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[JPC]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[Aaron]

No, no, no, no, no.

[Adel]

Bless your heart and bless the audience's heart for listening to this show. It's. Hey, Riddle. Riddle. I'm Adorfai.

[Aaron]

I'm jpc and I'm still here. Aaron Keefe, after all years.

[JPC]

Bless your heart, Aaron.

[Aaron]

So bless your heart. New for you, jbc. You're sort of on a bless your heart kick.

[JPC]

Yes. We are currently in the south on tour right now, so we just did shows in Atlanta and Nashville. And so I am. I'm kind of bless your heart coded now. I'm like, I'm kind of, you know, I'm kind of. Their culture is my costume. I'm like, kind of putting it on and trying it out, and I like it.

[Aaron]

You've changed.

[JPC]

Well, yes. Literally. Yes. That's what I was talking about.

[Aaron]

Oh, okay. Right. But I've had a thing where I read the email, but it was only just. I picked out a couple of the words.

[JPC]

We're all doing that with just kind of like our lives, it seems that's.

[Aaron]

How we listen on this show.

[Adel]

And gpc, you have sort of a straw hat, sort of cocktail sort of over your eyes and your. You got one of those. What is it, like a thistle in your mouth? Not a thistle.

[JPC]

Eye patch.

[Aaron]

Eye patch in your mouth. You're on a rocking chair. You were saying something like, rain's gonna come in.

[JPC]

Oh, again, you were kind of skimming what I was saying, Aaron. Oh, I said rain's got me coming.

[Aaron]

I thought you said you were done.

[JPC]

No, I left fucking in a thunderstorm. When that rain hits. So do I.

[Aaron]

You guys, I thought that our recordings would feel different doing them in the afternoon instead of the morning. And it turns out, same energy.

[JPC]

It's the same energy. It's the same exact energy. Everybody. Welcome to hey, Riddle. Riddle. I hope you enjoyed if you live in Nashville or Atlanta, I hope you enjoyed seeing us at our live shows. And I hope if you live in Denver in a couple of days, I hope you enjoy seeing that live show on Friday. I think if you're listening to this when it comes out, man, if you're not listening to this when it comes out, I mean, isn't that weird to.

[Aaron]

Think about that, like, maybe somebody right now is listening to an episode from 2021 and we just don't. Like, someone is experiencing our voices right now and we don't even know where or when they are.

[JPC]

Yeah.

[Aaron]

That kind of scary?

[JPC]

No, not to me. No.

[Aaron]

All right.

[JPC]

It's interesting, though, because when you record the podcast, you don't really think about recording it as a time capsule. You're like, well, I don't think. I hope this stands the test of time, you know, I hope decades from now someone discovers this. No, no, I hope it goes in the ground.

[Aaron]

You don't think this is going to end up on the Dark Web for your children's children to find?

[JPC]

What do you think the Dark Web is?

[Aaron]

I don't know and I'm too scared to ask.

[JPC]

Someone's gonna buy like cocaine and a hitman and listen to an episode of Riddle.

[Aaron]

Yeah.

[Adel]

Should we press the vinyl? An episode, a secret episode that we then sell Wu Tang clan style for $100,000.

[JPC]

Didn't they sell it for a mil?

[Adel]

Maybe?

[JPC]

Or we're just. We're not Wu Tang. We're not Wu Tang.

[Adel]

Word of Wu Tang. We're one tenth of Wu Tang.

[Aaron]

Well, you guys, unfortunately a few months ago we did promise that we would be working on the most perfect episode of a podcast ever. And when we are finished with that, something we haven't started yet, when we're finished with it, we will press that onto vinyl and then we will throw it into the ocean.

[JPC]

Yes, I think keen eared listeners will remember that I never promised that we would do that. Which means it will never get done. So I'm in the clear. I don't have to worry about it.

[Aaron]

I think I could pull up a clip of you saying you would do it.

[JPC]

I was pretty careful, Aaron. I was pretty careful not to commit to something that I had no intention of doing.

[Aaron]

We're gonna do it.

[Adel]

Here's my thing is I think I'm the one who maybe propositioned that idea. But then what happens is, I don't know if you guys experienced this.

[JPC]

No.

[Adel]

And then I have other ideas.

[JPC]

Yeah, for sure.

[Adel]

And then I'm like, oh, that one. Chugga, chugga, cha cha. If that makes sense. Chugga, chugga, chugga. You kind of chugga, chugga, chugga, can't stop the train.

[JPC]

I think you and Aaron are great at generating ideas. You guys just go off like trains. And then sometimes what I like to do is I like to pick up all the pieces of the train tracks behind you guys and you're just running off into the grass. And I say, well, well, who would like to build this though? Because this does need.

[Adel]

Sorry, dad, we're going out to play.

[JPC]

That's okay. Have fun in the grass as a.

[Aaron]

Train are in the pie in the sky. No bad ideas. Cocaine up all night. Part of the process. And then what you do with the awesome ideas Adel and I come up with is Your business. And that's your problem.

[JPC]

We need dreamers, you know.

[Adel]

Yes. Aaron and I are the coked out 1975 cast members. And JBZ, you're Lorne Michaels.

[Aaron]

Wrinkle us, rankle us.

[JPC]

Really big shoe.

[Adel]

I think that might be Ed Sullivan. Yeah, that's something else. So here's my new fixation. We record an episode, we put it on a thumb drive, we then hide it somewhere in the world. It's probably somewhere in northern Illinois. And then we make a series of clues. And whoever finds that episode, it's theirs.

[JPC]

There is.

[Aaron]

I love it.

[JPC]

Speaking of Thundrive, I'm kind of baffled by this. Sometimes I look at like the R scams on Reddit of like, what scams are kind of out there. I like to stay apprised of what my people are doing. There are people who are posting. I found this thumb drive outside, plugged it into my computer, and now my computer has a virus and I want to think like, what are you doing? Would you ever pick up a thumb drive off the. This is what libraries are for. You go right to the library and you plug it in over there.

[Aaron]

Don't do that.

[Adel]

You crash their systems.

[Aaron]

That sort of feels like bringing a Ouija board that you found in the middle of the woods into your home.

[JPC]

I do think it's same thing. It's the exact same thing. Yeah. I mean, they're both. You're getting demons both ways. You're either getting like a cyberdemon, like a Mailer demon, or you're getting whatever comes out of a flash drive. I'm assuming the cyberdemon is the Ouija board, right?

[Aaron]

Yeah, exactly. Adol. I think we brushed past your idea too quickly. I'm 100% down to do that. And we can be lazy about it, but not too lazy. We could just bring it on tour with us and hide it in one of the tour cities or.

[Adel]

Aaron, I think. Yes. So that maybe.

[Aaron]

Wait, hold on. All right, you were going. You were saying.

[Adel]

Or maybe we just chuck it over the fence at a Six Flags.

[Aaron]

Okay, new plan, new plan. All of our episodes from now on, we're going to record individually, not save it anywhere else. And then we're going to go. Yeah. And throw it over the fence of the Six Flags. And then if someone finds it, they find it. If they don't, they don't.

[Adel]

I love this direction for us and.

[Aaron]

Gpc, you make it happen.

[JPC]

Looking at my notes for the episode, I wrote down ideas and then it's just a blinking cursor. So as soon as I hear one that I got, I promise it's going down on paper, though. I'll put that on wax, baby.

[Adel]

Gpc. Something I just discovered, and I think this is a big one you probably already know about it, is never charge your items at an airport. Like, charge station. Like the ones by the seats or anything.

[JPC]

Oh, oh, oh, oh.

[Adel]

Because people are, I guess, doing something with those to where they can just.

[JPC]

Steal your information, jangling their electronics in there. Hey, it's a bad world out there. It's an absolute bad world. Yeah. I mean, surely you've seen these, too. Like, one of the reasons why they went to the tap technology for credit cards is because people would just put those skim readers in, gas station readers or grocery store checkouts and stuff. They just slap them right on top. And then the people who are working there are like, well, whatever, who knows? And they're just collecting credit cards the entire time. It doesn't matter. I've had in the history of my being an adult, I'm 36 now, and I got a credit card when I was 18. So 18 years of. Is that how the math works out of adulthood? I have had maybe four emails that were like, hey, you know this urgent care that you went to, like, six years ago? Yeah. Our computer system was put together by, like, pencils and paper mache and all your credit, all your information got stolen by hackers and whatever. And then they're all like. And you know what you could do is you could, like, freeze your credit and just do that forever.

[Aaron]

And.

[JPC]

I don't really want to talk to you anymore. So bye. And we stopped being a business because we also went, you know, we went under as a business, too, so.

[Aaron]

Love you, miss you.

[JPC]

And I'm like, that's happened to me so many times. And I'm like, over. Like, it's the. My information is just out there floating freely now forever.

[Aaron]

And also I like to think that there's something in this world worth fighting for. It's not all bad, right?

[JPC]

Is that a lyric? She's singing Bon Jovi to us right now. What's going on?

[Aaron]

Who is that? Oh, John Bon.

[JPC]

Is that Jon Bon Jovi?

[Adel]

A Jefferson Starship, Formerly Jefferson Airplane. But then they're like, the 70s are over. No more singing about white rabbits. We need space names.

[JPC]

It's all space names now.

[Adel]

One of the wildest transfers of names of rock history. One of the only transfers of name in rock history, I guess, ultimately. Well, let's do some riddles.

[JPC]

Yes. Oh, God, yes.

[Aaron]

Oh my God. Adol, I'm so sorry. I thought that this was a JPC episode. And I would have done a totally different vibe at the beginning if I had known that this was something that you had to listen back to. I'm not even kidding, Aaron.

[Adel]

This will all be tucked over a fence at a Six Flag.

[Aaron]

Yeah. Anyway, great.

[Adel]

It doesn't matter.

[Aaron]

Okay. But I just. I am saying that I try to put, and this is a compliment to you, jpc, obviously. I don't even have to tell you that. Of course I try to put a more cursed, horrible sort of wicked energy into JPC's episodes. Cause I know what he likes. And then I focus more on the riddles, puzzles, lateral thinking problems when it's an adult episode.

[JPC]

Interesting.

[Adel]

Oh, and to the. To the teens at Six Flags listening to this. We gotta stop it with the hand on the back of the pants. If you would have put your hand in someone else's back pocket. That's kind of cute, but just straight down the back of the pants. What are we doing?

[Aaron]

I'm sorry, I haven't checked in with teens.

[JPC]

In a moment.

[Adel]

What's going on?

[Aaron]

What are you saying?

[JPC]

What's happening?

[Adel]

Have you never been to a Six Flags?

[JPC]

Is this over underwear or under the underwear? Where's the hand going? Is it under the hood?

[Adel]

I'm not looking that closely.

[JPC]

My.

[Adel]

I just see hands.

[JPC]

How do you know what's happening?

[Aaron]

Hold on. The Jane Goodall of teens is teaching us something. Adol. What were you saying?

[Adel]

Horny Teens in the mist.

[JPC]

Is it? Oh, yeah, I guess it's a horny thing, right? That's what it is. That's why people would be doing that.

[Adel]

I don't even. It doesn't even. No one seems to be enjoying it.

[Aaron]

Everything is a horny thing. Unless it's a horny thing, in which case it's about power. And you learn that in English class.

[Adel]

Oh, whoa, whoa.

[Aaron]

You're welcome. Whoa. Sorry.

[Adel]

Riddles, riddles, riddles, riddles.

[JPC]

Well, I'm glad I'm not going to Six Flags anytime soon. But now I'm. Now I'm concerned.

[Aaron]

Unless we do it for a review crew, which we definitely are going to now because I put it out in the ether and I can't be stopped.

[Adel]

Ooh, that would be interesting. Well, let's do some of the. Okay, so I'm going to give you three items. You have to tell me what they all have in common, just as sort of a warm up here. The movie steel Magnolias, the 1997. Cloning controversy and the surrealist painting world.

[Aaron]

Dolly. Dahly. Dahly.

[JPC]

Dali. Dali. Dolly.

[Adel]

They have Dolly.

[JPC]

Uncle Adol writes a check.

[Aaron]

I'm sure we've done this before, but I'd like to see a scene. Jpc. You are Salvador Dali and you are explaining your new painting to Adolf.

[JPC]

Salvador Dali's Spanish. Correct.

[Aaron]

In our version, he can be whatever.

[JPC]

Oh, Aaron. He was gonna be whatever. Yes, this is my painting. This is my new painting. I have, you know, finished it. I hope it's what you were looking for when you commissioned it.

[Adel]

Yeah. Yes. Yes. I just want to make sure I have this on the wall the right way.

[JPC]

Oh, no, this can't go on the wall. It's. No, it can't. It doesn't exist in three dimensional space, so it can never be on a wall.

[Adel]

Oh, but it. Oh, okay.

[JPC]

Yes, because it would go through the wall.

[Adel]

I see.

[JPC]

And reach back into. When you were a little boy and your dreams and your frustrations were fresh in your mind.

[Adel]

Has anyone ever told you that you will sound like Javier Bardem?

[JPC]

Well, yes.

[Adel]

Or I guess he'll sound like you. I'm sorry.

[JPC]

Yes. I got this from the painting. This is a painting of Javier Bardem.

[Adel]

Wait, how do I even know that name?

[JPC]

The painting.

[Adel]

I touched the painting.

[JPC]

You touched the painting? You've traveled through time in the fifth dimension.

[Adel]

Wow.

[JPC]

Just like I have traveled to time in the fifth dimension to make the painting. I didn't actually even paint this painting.

[Adel]

Oh. Oh, well, then I can't sell it. I'm sorry, what?

[JPC]

No, I mean, it's my painting, but me and Javier Mardem worked on it together. Can I be honest with you?

[Adel]

Please.

[JPC]

We traded places.

[Aaron]

Hey, guys, just want to let you know we did discover a gas leak in the building. So everyone's evacuating. If you boys wanna.

[JPC]

Not everyone.

[Adel]

Whatever you say. Floating cloud.

[JPC]

Right away.

[Aaron]

Okay, guys, I think rest of the episode, everyone has to walk on and say, there's a gas leak. That's the new welcome to Jamba Jupe Juice.

[JPC]

Jamba Joops.

[Adel]

Jamba Jups.

[Aaron]

Jamba Joops. There's been a gas leak.

[Adel]

Gas leak.

[JPC]

Okay, guys, Salvador Dali. Spanish. And guess what? Javier Bardem looks just like him.

[Adel]

Salvador Dali. Pretty thin. Got that curly mustache. Used to walk around New York with a pet anteater on a leash.

[Aaron]

Is that true?

[Adel]

Oh, yeah, I saw.

[Aaron]

But I'll believe anything.

[JPC]

The other week at the Brookfield Zoo. And anteaters are fucking big. For whatever reason in my mind, I didn't Think that an anteater was, like, necessarily a big animal? But they're big motherfuckers.

[Adel]

Oh, yeah. Everyone close your eyes. Picture an anteater. Triple it.

[JPC]

Jesus.

[Adel]

Now open your eyes.

[Aaron]

I'm stuck. Why is your sock shut?

[JPC]

An anteater triple the size could literally, like, suck small dogs up through its little anteater nose.

[Adel]

Don't say suck small dogs.

[Aaron]

A genuine anteater. The pet man told my dad. It turns out it was an aunt eater. And now my uncle's mad.

[Adel]

Shel Silverstein.

[Aaron]

Shel Silverstein. Are you impressed that I know that I am?

[Adel]

Cynthia Sylvia Stout would not take the garbage out. What a bitch. I could remember the rest of it.

[Aaron]

On a bad day.

[Adel]

Shel, can we talk about.

[Aaron]

Shel, are you okay, honey?

[Adel]

Shel, is the fucking tree.

[JPC]

What is that? Everything good at home or lazy?

[Aaron]

Lazy. Lazy, Lazy, Lazy, lazy. Jane is my fucking daughter. Get up. It's 2pm on a Saturday. Jane.

[Adel]

We should just rewrite where the Sidewalk Ends with.

[JPC]

I really should know this because it was probably on a sign at the zoo that I could have read, but do anteaters. Are they natives?

[Aaron]

Oh, my goodness. Adel. I hate that. Thank you.

[Adel]

That's. Salvador Dalia is an anteater.

[JPC]

Are they native to America or are they. Are they a Spanish creature?

[Adel]

I'm pretty sure they're African.

[JPC]

They're African.

[Adel]

I'm pretty sure.

[JPC]

So this motherfucker was like, I'm a Spaniard living in New York City and I'm going to get an African exotic animal. Boo.

[Aaron]

I'll say it again. A woman would never do that. That poor anteater. A woman would never need attention that bad that she would do that.

[JPC]

Aren't there, like, documentaries of, like, what was that. That woman who had the crocodile farm or whatever in Florida? I guess that's a Florida person. That's not really. Yeah.

[Aaron]

And that. And I will say that was. That documentary was mostly crazy men.

[JPC]

That's true.

[Aaron]

But like, just like this podcast, the ratio is two to one of crazy men to crazy women.

[Adel]

And I should have been my statement. They are from Central and South America.

[JPC]

Ah. So it wasn't that bad. Okay. What is. Aaron.

[Aaron]

Sure.

[JPC]

What is. If. Let's say you had the living situation where it would be not. Not, not inappropriate. You could. You could make it work. What is the craziest animal that you think that you could see yourself, like, owning and taking care of?

[Aaron]

I love this question.

[Adel]

This is very good.

[Aaron]

A dog. No, I'm going to actually think of one.

[JPC]

Cause there are Some, like, if you've said, Aaron, that you want to go live in the country, there's like a way that you could have like an alpaca or something like that, Right? Like some sort of your house.

[Aaron]

I really want to challenge myself to have one that sort of lives inside. Yeah. I don't know how safe of a space this is.

[JPC]

The podcast or the theoretical apartment where you're having those crazy wild animals.

[Aaron]

There's a podcast?

[JPC]

Oh, both of them is a danger zone.

[Aaron]

I do kind of sometimes fantasize that my house is like, covered in like hundreds of butterflies.

[Adel]

Whoa.

[Aaron]

Like, I kind of. That sort of feels like. But that's not exactly your question. But that's the first thing that came.

[JPC]

To mind that's interesting.

[Adel]

I hate to say this, but that's. That sounds beautiful. But at some point you'd be like closing a cabinet or like putting down a toilet seat or something.

[Aaron]

Oh, I'm killing butterflies all day. And then that's. My nervous system is having to.

[Adel]

You open the freezer and two would fall out and shatter. And I think it would really do some psyche damage.

[Aaron]

Adel, I've never. To be loved is to be known. And you knowing that I would be in a constant state of intense grief and self hatred.

[Adel]

No. Oh, my God.

[JPC]

I also don't think that butterflies, they're like migratory. I don't think they live very long too. So even best case scenario, you're like a janus. Like never touching them at all.

[Aaron]

I'm just wearing like a black dress with a black veil, mourning all of these butterflies.

[JPC]

I'm becoming covered in dead butterflies.

[Aaron]

I've changed my answer. I think what you guys think of yours.

[JPC]

I mean, honestly, I would love to have a raccoon.

[Aaron]

I know we talk about this on the show. We're dying to domesticate those critters.

[JPC]

And they wash their little hands and it's such a cute little thing for a critter to do.

[Aaron]

Do you guys know that raccoons hands are 10,000 times more sensitive than human hands?

[Adel]

What does that mean?

[Aaron]

I know. I Learned that like two weeks ago. Like, the nerves in it, they're 10,000.

[Adel]

Like, when they jerk off, their hands are coming.

[Aaron]

Okay, I love that your brain went right to that. This is what I mean. Everything is horny unless it's horny. And then it is about power. There we go.

[JPC]

So if I'm getting fingered by a raccoon, feels just as good to the raccoon as it does to me.

[Aaron]

25 minutes in, we did one riddle. And we're talking about getting fingered by a raccoon. Okay, okay, okay.

[Adel]

Aaron, is this different than any other episode?

[Aaron]

I know. That's what I'm just saying is every day I hope it will be, and every day it's not.

[JPC]

What does it mean that a raccoon's hand is so sensitive? Is he, like, doing a little hand puppet? And, like, comedy's illegal now. You can't say anything. You can't say anything anymore.

[Aaron]

That's fun. Adel, do you have an answer, Adel?

[Adel]

Oh, well, I was gonna say I like to use the Mr. Popper's Penguins rule, which is you say Mr. And Mrs. Then you say your last name, and then you have to use the same letter for an animal. So, Aaron, I would say for you, Mrs. Keith's. Ko. Mrs. Keefe's. Ms. Keith's. Kangaroos, perhaps.

[Aaron]

Kangaroos. I did live with kangaroos in Australia. Little baby ones. And they would do somersaults into my tummy. Cause they thought there was a little pouch.

[Adel]

What?

[Aaron]

Yes, I lived. Yeah, I lived with my friends. I'll post a picture. I lived with my friends Cass and Alicia. And Cass was a foster parent to baby kangaroos whose parents had been hit by cars. And so they would swing a little baby kangaroo by, and then you have to tie a sheet around a doorknob. Cause they sleep in a little.

[JPC]

That's fun.

[Aaron]

And then they would try to do somersault into your tummy because they think that they're gonna get into something, but you kind of. I just spent so much time in Australia holding a little baby kangaroo. Like a baby with a bottle and watching Game of Thrones. They're so cute.

[Adel]

Incredible.

[Aaron]

That's not great with the cats. So if you. You could definitely have a kangaroo in your house at all.

[Adel]

Yeah, but would they give. Don't. Cause have, like, gonorrhea or something.

[Aaron]

That's koalas. Kangaroos. Have.

[JPC]

A kangaroo in your house. And your brain went to. How do I. A koala if I got a king?

[Aaron]

Yeah, I'm trying to. What's the funniest STD for a kangaroo.

[Adel]

To have and then warm up Hoppies.

[JPC]

It's like herpes, syphilis.

[Aaron]

Okay, well, all right. Probably.

[Adel]

Do you remember the little. I think it was just last year. What was the little hippo everyone went nutso for.

[JPC]

I don't know.

[Adel]

It was like a little hippo.

[Aaron]

Sometimes you miss an Internet thing, and then you're really alone.

[Adel]

Some international zoo. And everyone was like, this is now. This is Everything.

[JPC]

No clue. No clue on this one.

[Aaron]

I can see you on a road trip with a little hippo. I don't know. That would be really cute.

[Adel]

Thank you. What I was going to say is I want a little. Oh, sorry. Go ahead, G.P.

[JPC]

Well, the thing about little kangaroo, little hippo is they grow. You know, these things are.

[Aaron]

No, teacup pigs don't grow.

[JPC]

No, Aaron. Teacup pigs are just baby pigs. No, Aaron, there's no such thing as a teacup pig.

[Aaron]

Yes, there is. Look it up.

[JPC]

Aaron. I know it. It's just a baby pig. A teacup pig is a brand that people sell so that they can sell you a baby pig.

[Aaron]

Everybody hurts.

[Adel]

Mu Dang. In Thailand there's a famous hippo named Mu Dang who took the Internet by storm. But what I was gonna say is I want like a mudang type baby, but for a rhinoceros. Cause I don't even know what a baby rhinoceros looks like. And I am. I'm gonna go ahead and just say blanket statement. I would love to have several of them and just assume they're never gonna get big and leathery and.

[Aaron]

Okay, Adol. I actually think this is a pretty good idea.

[JPC]

You guys have big the first three minutes of the episode energy right now where you're just like baby kangaroo, baby rhinoceros. And I'm like, I got weaning bottles. And I'm like, what the fuck? Where are we? It's a 1200 square foot apartment. Where. What are we going to do?

[Aaron]

Adel, I'm sending you a picture of a baby rhino going to die.

[Adel]

God, can you even believe? Oh my God.

[Aaron]

Oh my goodness.

[Adel]

Picture a baby Rhinnano.

[JPC]

Rynano. Now.

[Aaron]

They're so cute.

[Adel]

Divide it by three.

[JPC]

I think if I saw a baby rhinoceros. Not, not in the context of like, hey, you're about to see a baby rhinoceros. I was just like out for a walk and I saw a baby rhinoceros. I don't think I would be able to say for sure what creature that was. Yeah, I don't think. I don't think I would ever be able to pull. Right. Yeah, maybe, maybe recency bias, since I've just seen a picture of a baby rhinoceros. But ultimately it does look like a.

[Adel]

Little falkor or something.

[JPC]

Yeah, it looks weird.

[Aaron]

Little Star wars animals. Don't make fun of him. Don't make fun of him.

[JPC]

It looks like I'm a youngling, Aaron.

[Adel]

That's how you stunt their growth. So I need to bully Them to make sure they stay small. And I know that.

[Aaron]

Seems to me I just had, like, 15 butterflies die because I opened the door.

[JPC]

This is a guy who sold Adel a baby rhinoceros and told him they eat wishes. And he called me a week later being like, I think it's sick. Yeah, man.

[Aaron]

I'm dying. That's right.

[Adel]

I think I gave it too many wishes. An airplane. Abe Lincoln's family, Grizzly Adams. An airplane. Abe Lincoln's family, Grizzly Adams.

[JPC]

They're all downers.

[Adel]

I do want to say the same.

[Aaron]

No, no. Yes. I'm ready.

[Adel]

The three of us are at a dinner party. Aaron, you are Abraham Lincoln's mom. And we're two people. You're kind of meeting for the first time. Maybe friends of your son. And you're kind of bringing the conversation down. But, Oli, it's very, very, very much an honor to be at your table, Mrs. Lincoln.

[JPC]

Thank you.

[Aaron]

Thank you. Thank you. I hope you find my house to be welcoming. And one.

[Adel]

Right.

[Aaron]

Raise your head if you have a dead son.

[JPC]

Oh, most people here, lady. Not. We don't want to talk about it, but most people here.

[Aaron]

Okay, raise your hand. Never have I ever.

[JPC]

Oh, we're playing this looks like waiters passing out champagne.

[Adel]

A dead.

[Aaron]

I have a son that died that wasn't famous.

[JPC]

Put your hand.

[Aaron]

Put your fingers up.

[Adel]

In the current day. I believe my son died famous because he fought for what he believed in in the war.

[Aaron]

And never have I ever drink.

[JPC]

Chuck. Chuck, you have to drink.

[Adel]

Fine. I was trying to.

[JPC]

I was trying to pull that.

[Aaron]

Never have I ever gotten kicked out of the White House. Excuse me.

[JPC]

I'm sorry.

[Aaron]

Something you want to say something?

[JPC]

No, I.

[Aaron]

Something you want to say something. Something you want to say something?

[JPC]

I'm unfamiliar with the way this game is played. Is it. Does one person go until they. They get out?

[Aaron]

I'm sorry. You're not drinking my wine at my table.

[JPC]

I know. I am drinking. I. I had to drink on that last one. Yeah. Cheers to you.

[Aaron]

Never have I ever been unceremoniously kicked out of the. The White House and dragged by my hair out because I refused to go because my son no longer worked there.

[JPC]

You shouldn't have been living there. Anyway.

[Aaron]

I was trying to take the silverware with me and all the sterling silver on my way out, and they said, this is. This is for the next president. And I went, next president. I thought the country was going to end once my son died. And they said, who's your son?

[Adel]

No, they didn't Say that.

[JPC]

They didn't say that.

[Aaron]

They did. They did.

[JPC]

Just after it had happened.

[Aaron]

I'm sorry. This is my house.

[JPC]

And also Lady Lincoln. The country almost did it.

[Aaron]

What do you mean?

[JPC]

Well, it just. I'll say it came about as close.

[Aaron]

As it ever read the paper. Don't make me feel stupid for not reading the paper. Never have I ever had my son killed by a hack actor.

[Adel]

Hmm.

[Aaron]

Well, Mrs. Wilkes Booth, something you'd like to say?

[Adel]

She's been pretty quiet.

[Aaron]

Bitch. Is there something you'd like to say? Bitch? Cunt says what? At my table? Maureen Wilkes Booth, you son of a bitch. I think they all reaches across table.

[JPC]

No, no. I think they all pretty much disavowed him. He had some. He had issues. He wasn't.

[Aaron]

Okay, let's play truth or dare next, huh?

[JPC]

I'm done with that game.

[Adel]

We're going to retire for the evening.

[JPC]

I'd like to play truth or dare. This is my fucking game, Chuck. This is my game.

[Adel]

Dare. Sorry, I mean, Mrs. Lady Lincoln.

[JPC]

Truth or dare?

[Aaron]

Yes, dare.

[Adel]

I dare you to put your son's corpse on a train that will go around the United States on a tour, stopping city to city to again. Oh, right. I guess I read that somewhere.

[Aaron]

Scene. I'm sorry. Adam made an asshole.

[JPC]

Silently slapping Maureen Wilkes Booth at the table.

[Adel]

Who'S just in a drunken stupor. We have to assume.

[JPC]

We have to assume.

[Adel]

We have to assume.

[Aaron]

But again, we don't read history, so we'll never know.

[Adel]

An airplane. Abe Lincoln's family. Grizzly Adams. Yes, they all are all downers. But there's something else they have in common.

[Aaron]

Wait.

[JPC]

An airplane.

[Adel]

Abe Lincoln's family. Grizzly Adams.

[Aaron]

Did you say the downers thing? Is that their name?

[Adel]

No, no.

[Aaron]

Like jpc. Hold on.

[JPC]

Do they all have a cockpit?

[Adel]

No, Abeling. His family didn't have a cockpit.

[JPC]

That we know of.

[Adel]

They had cockpit.

[JPC]

Families have secrets.

[Adel]

Families have secrets.

[Aaron]

Beards.

[Adel]

Beards. Oh, that is a. That's a very good guess. And we have to assume that Mary Todd was one. But an airplane does not have a beard.

[JPC]

Yeah, I was gonna say, what's a beard on an airplane?

[Adel]

Now think about a pilot. The. That's also a great guess.

[JPC]

This.

[Adel]

Think about also the theme song to our show.

[JPC]

I have a question.

[Adel]

Yeah.

[JPC]

Who the fuck is Grizzly Adams?

[Adel]

Grizzly Adams.

[Aaron]

A cabin.

[Adel]

They all have or had cabins.

[Aaron]

Don't you fucking hate it when it's on?

[Adel]

Right?

[JPC]

Is he from tv? I don't know.

[Adel]

I think he's a TV character who, like Palled around with bears. He's like a nature guy. I'm looking him up like the Adventures of Grizzly Adams. And he'd be like in nature and he'd like.

[JPC]

He was like a documentary or he's playing the character.

[Adel]

I think he's a character.

[Aaron]

Okay, new crush unlocked for me, y'. All. Excuse me, please, someone look him up. Look at his beard. He looks insane.

[JPC]

He's not so cute.

[Adel]

Oh, I'm looking at the baby rhino still.

[JPC]

He's not the one that grizzly man is about, right? He's not the one.

[Aaron]

No, no, no, no.

[Adel]

Never listen to this tape.

[JPC]

This tape is what?

[Adel]

Promise me you'll never listen to this tape. Okay. Okay.

[JPC]

So wait, Aaron, is that your type? That grizzly?

[Adel]

Yeah, he's got like Hagrid.

[JPC]

He's got like a feathered 70s hair and feathered 70s beard. I don't think I've ever seen someone have like the theraphost beard.

[Aaron]

Well, then you're not living. If you haven't. If you haven't seen a man with a Farrah faucet beard, then you are not living.

[JPC]

It's fun. It's so. It's like. It's a great texture. Okay.

[Aaron]

Currently texting my boyfriend, the happiest man alive. We are going to the salon.

[Adel]

Well, why don't we take a quick break so we can all sort of swoon over Grizzly Adams and everyone at home can look up pictures of Salvador, Dolly, anteaters, baby rhinos and Grizzly Adams. And we'll be right back with more. Hey, Riddle. Riddle.

[JPC]

Riddle. Adol. Aaron, do you ever feel like managing your business finances as a full time job on top of your actual full time job?

[Aaron]

Say it JPC or sing it. Whatever feels best.

[JPC]

So hold on. You want me to do all the finances and you also want me to write songs for the finances? Well, you know what? It did feel like a full. I'm not gonna do that full time job until I started using Found. Found is a business banking platform that lets you effortlessly track expenses, manage invoices and prepare for taxes. You can even set aside money for different business goals and control spending with different vir virtual cards. I have saved so much money because Found helps me identify tax write offs. And I've saved so much time that I can now devote to chasing new opportunities and doing the work I enjoy. Like writing original songs for the ads.

[Adel]

And Found users have said amazing things like Found is going to save me so much headache. It makes everything so much easier. Expenses, income, profits, taxes. Invoices even.

[Aaron]

And found has 30,000 five star reviews just like this.

[JPC]

Okay, now this is the part of the ad where they just say host ad lib. And I think what they mean when they say host ad lib is I'm so glad that I found Found because my business needs are met and I'm going to the moon. I took it too far. I took it too far.

[Adel]

Pull back, pull back. Curtain, curtain. Open a Found account for free at F o u n d dot com. Found is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking services are provided by lead bank member fdic. Don't put this one off. Join thousands of small business owners who have streamlined their finances with Found.

[Aaron]

Hit it, jpc.

[JPC]

Oh, I'm streamlining all of my finances with Found. That wasn't real disclaimer text.

[Aaron]

That was just part of the song. It's part of the song. Adult jpc. Do you notice? Come in, Come in, come in, come in, come in. Do you notice anything different?

[Adel]

10 inches taller.

[JPC]

Thank you.

[Aaron]

No, for her.

[JPC]

Oh, no, we were just. Oh. Adel and I were staring into each other's eyes and kind of feeling each other's arms. No, Aaron, let's focus on you or whatever. What's your thing? Or whatever.

[Aaron]

I texted you said come over. I need attention. Also, I got something new from my house.

[JPC]

Ooh, what'd you get? Personality.

[Aaron]

It's my new rug from Quint's. Oh, isn't it amazing?

[Adel]

Gorgeous. Oooh, is that 100% Mongolian cashmere?

[Aaron]

No, that's my sweater. That's my sweater you're feeling.

[Adel]

Oh, sorry, let me step off.

[JPC]

That would be insane for a rug.

[Aaron]

And I bet it was so expensive, right? Nut. Wrong. It was just $60. There's classic denim I can get from Quint, real leather, wool outwear, and my new rug. Ooh, look, I'm making a snow angel on my new rug.

[Adel]

I'll look in a minute.

[Aaron]

I love quints.

[Adel]

I'll look in a minute. Erin, I'm looking into JPC's. Ey now. JPC, I feel like you would look amazing in their suede trucker jacket. It's perfect for layering, even though you got these, you know, 10 inch pythons now. You big biceps. It just looks really casual but put together.

[JPC]

And by partnering directly with ethical factories and top artisans, Quince cuts out the middleman to deliver premium quality at half the cost of similar brands. And Adol. I gotta say, it looks like somebody cut the middle out of you and just left. Fucking chiseled abs. What's going on. My man.

[Aaron]

You guys. You guys.

[Adel]

I've been sick.

[Aaron]

I'm not just obsessed with their rugs, but I also love their bedding. I have their sheets, bath cookware, travel accessories, and my wardrobe. What do you guys do?

[Adel]

Yeah, Cool.

[Aaron]

Why don't you look at me?

[Adel]

It's all amazing. Aaron, just calm down.

[Aaron]

Layer up this fall with pieces that feel as good as they look. Go to quince.com riddle for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q U I n c e.com/Riddle Free shipping and 365 day returns. Quint.comRiddle oh no.

[Adel]

JPC they made it. Canada too.

[JPC]

Canada too.

[Adel]

The squeak will. We gotta go. Bye, Aaron. Bye.

[Aaron]

Why is that bad?

[Adel]

Jpc. You know how not too long ago Aaron was a car. We don't really need to dwell on it. Sometimes you're asking yourself weird things like why didn't they teach us this in school? I feel that way almost anytime I'm dealing with money.

[JPC]

Amen.

[Adel]

Famously, I'm very bad with money. Famously, you're very good with money. That's why I'm giving my kids, AKA my cats, a head start on their money skills with acorns early.

[JPC]

Now, if I know your cats, they're going to take those acorns, put them outside your door, and then feed them to squirrels so they can watch squirrels going outside of your door. But children, human children, they're very different. They have different learning patterns than cats. We're getting wildly off topic. Erin used to be a car. That's why she's not here. But that's been resolved at this point so we don't have to worry about that.

[Adel]

Mostly been resolved Acorns early is the smart debit card and money app that grows kids money skills as they grow up. This is something that I am going to be gifting to friends that I myself hopefully one day will be gifting to a child and again to my cats. Start with the in app Chores tracker. Teach your kids or cats the value of a dollar. Then let your kids set up their own savings goals and start building healthy money habits early. And you could maybe be like, hey, let's set a goal that you save up to buy, I don't know, like a car one day.

[JPC]

Yes. Because it is legal to buy a car.

[Adel]

Yes.

[JPC]

Even if it is or was a human at some point. Because if it's now a car, it's fine and there's no laws against that. Plus, kids can spend what they've earned with their very own customizable debit card, giving them that extra sense of independence. Plus, with Acorn Early's spending limits and real time spend notifications, parents always stay in control. I have played around with the Acorns early app, so still a little early for my child. But I really love the features. I really love how like simplified it is. I actually think that it like can make learning about money fun and engaging. And I think that those are very important things. It's also really important to like demystify, you know, the money. You know, money isn't something that's like, you know, dirty or dangerous or something. It's just like a tool like anything else that we use to exist in society. And I think that Acorns early is a great way to introduce children to that.

[Adel]

Absolutely. Hey jpz, do you notice even though Aaron's not a car anymore, that sometimes when she sneezes it sounds like vroom?

[JPC]

Yeah. And sometimes when she, not to be indelicate, farts it sounds like honk honk honk honk. Passes gas. It sounds like honk honk honk honk honk honk honk.

[Adel]

Yes. And then I immediately want to get anyway ready to teach your kids the smart way to earn, save and spend. Get your first month on us when you head to acornserly.com heyriddle or download the Acorns early app. That's one month free when you sign up at acorns early.com heyriddle Acorns early is issued by Community Federal Savings Bank Member FDIC pursuant to license by MasterCard International. Free trial for new subscribers only. Subscription fee starting for $5 per month unless canceled term [e-mail] earlyterms Aaron's not a car.

[JPC]

Take control of your money.

[Adel]

Ah, Arin Barber, Aaron. Also JPC Jest Paladin Cohen.

[Aaron]

Great Love.

[JPC]

Love it.

[Aaron]

Love. What is this vibe?

[Adel]

Yes, we all love D and D style adventures, right? Full of humor and heart.

[JPC]

Guys, I know I do.

[Adel]

You need to check out Tales from the Stinky Dragon.

[JPC]

Oh I know. Tales from the Stinky Dragon. It's an award winning D and D comedy podcast hosted by an all star team of writers, comedians and voice actors. You can join along for an auditory adventure with immersive sound design, an original score and gripping stories set in a fantasy world. Plus, it's suitable for all ages, yet full of complex characters that make you laugh and cry. This podcast needs to be experienced by everyone whether you're a seasoned D and D player or completely new to the game?

[Aaron]

Oh, this sounds up our alley. It's comedy with heart. Oh wait, we don't have heart, so you're probably jonesing for some heart. Join a cast of five quick witted friends as they overcome disastrous dice rolls, bewildering role play and heartfelt moments of camaraderie. Your gut will both split from laughter and fill with butterflies. These goofballs weave a hilarious heartwarming story together again. Would love to know what it feels like to have a podcast that has a little bit of heart on it. Can't wait.

[JPC]

Okay, how would you know if you like this show? Well here let me tell you some other shows that it's comparable to Critical Role. Ever heard of it? The Adventure Zone. Ever heard of it? Dungeons and Daddies? Ever heard of it? Gumshoes and Dragons. You might not have heard of that one, but it's good. Hello from the Magic Tavern. You probably heard of that one. You and all your friends will love Tales from the Stinky Dragon.

[Adel]

And I gotta say, the episode the Quick and the Undead where the party helps out a ghost mummy is outstanding.

[JPC]

Discover why Tales from the Stinky Dragon continuously stands out among so many D and D shows. The hype is real. Check out Tales from the Stinky Dragon anywhere you listen to podcasts or on YouTube.com stinkydragonpod that's tales from the Stinky Dragon.

[Adel]

Tales from the Stinky Dragon. It's a natural 10. Which we're going on a scale of one to 10.

[JPC]

Yeah, it's a natural 20, but the scale is one to 10, so it's a great show. That's it. Mr. Monopoly here. Monopoly is back at McDonald's. Register in the McDonald's app so you're ready to get your bag. Two ways to peel for a chance to get your bag Physical peels with select items and digital peels with others. To get your bag, play Monopoly at McDonald's. No purchase necessary. See rules at [e-mail] for full details and [e-mail] to play without purchase ends November 23rd. But bonus play ends November 2nd. Monopolies are registered trademark of Hasbro. Copyright McDonald's.

[Adel]

Aaron, please, please let us go free. We're dying.

[Aaron]

All of us are dying around the house. Sweet butterflies. Hush, hush, hush, hush. Squeeze, squeeze, squeak. We have company coming over.

[Adel]

They keep sitting on us and crushing us. My sister died last week.

[Aaron]

I know. But this time we get to do that trick we've been working on. Remember when I yell attack. And then you get to sort of swarm in and kill a person. Yes, yes. Well, my co worker slash friend, I guess JPC is coming over. Yes, he'll be here any second. And then you get to sort of do what you've been trained to do.

[Adel]

Attack.

[Aaron]

Exactly. Yes.

[Adel]

All right.

[Aaron]

Oh, he's here. He's here. He's here.

[JPC]

Hey, Erin.

[Aaron]

Hey.

[JPC]

Should I just let myself in? I'm not sure the.

[Aaron]

Oh, yeah. Door. Door's open.

[JPC]

Oh, okay. Great. Oh, man. Oh, I love what you've done with the plush attack. Swipe, swipe, swipe, swipe, swipe. Oh, hey, sorry. I think I just killed like 200 butterflies. They all came at me. Sorry.

[Aaron]

Get out of my home.

[JPC]

Me of the butterflies.

[Adel]

Ew.

[JPC]

Speak up, Aaron. I have no idea.

[Aaron]

Reaches across. Choke, choke, choke, choke, choke.

[JPC]

Oh, you're killing a woke's move.

[Adel]

Akan says. What?

[Aaron]

What?

[Adel]

A man walks. Aaron, you put the K in cunt. Oh, my goodness.

[Aaron]

That'S so sweet.

[Adel]

A man walks into a restaurant and orders food. When the food arrives, he starts eating, but he doesn't pay. How can this be?

[Aaron]

Read it. Read it again.

[JPC]

He's a ratatouille situation. He's being controlled by a rat.

[Adel]

Ratatouille situation. A man walks into a restaurant and orders food. When the food arrives, he starts eating, but he doesn't pay. How can this be? As in he doesn't pay the whole time? Not that he doesn't pay right away.

[JPC]

He just doesn't pay right away.

[Adel]

Aaron, very close. And actually we're go ahead and give it to you. He is part of the restaurant's staff and he gets a free meal as a work benefit.

[Aaron]

I'd like to see a scene. Adol, you are a restaurant manager and JPC is an ex employee that doesn't work there anymore who's come in for shift meal and just sort of sits down and starts helping himself.

[Adel]

So just a reminder that we're going to be rolling out the xl, Craig, which is going to be a pizza with mustard now.

[JPC]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[Adel]

Brian.

[JPC]

Brian Mellon.

[Adel]

Yeah. Did you. Sorry, did you forget? Did you need to pick up a blast paycheck or something?

[JPC]

No, I was just coming in. What? No. Oh, no. I got the paycheck. No. Thank you so much. Are you. Wait, are you offering me another paycheck?

[Adel]

No.

[JPC]

Okay. Yeah. No. Yes. The one I got was more than generous for the work that I did. So thank you.

[Aaron]

Yeah.

[Adel]

And considering how you left. No, no, no, hold on.

[JPC]

What's that? Do you have those things to get the fettuccine or tongs? Yes, I'd love some tongs because it's hot fettuccine. I'm just.

[Adel]

Yeah, you're elbow deep in the fet right now.

[Aaron]

You said we couldn't eat the ship meal until after the meeting. Can we eat it now then? If he's eating it and he doesn't even work here, can we eat it?

[JPC]

Lisa, I worked here. Oh, I'll take this. I'll take this. I'll take this. Lisa, I used to work here, and so I'm just coming in for my shift meal.

[Aaron]

Yeah, but then you bit the chef. I was. I. That was my first day. It was traumatizing.

[JPC]

Oh, yeah, but it wasn't about sex. It was about power.

[Aaron]

No one said it was about sex.

[JPC]

Well, but I feel like it. Yes. I. Is that. Oh, my God. I'm putting this together now. Is that why I got fired?

[Aaron]

He had to give him a rabies shot.

[JPC]

First of all, he didn't have to get a rabies shot.

[Aaron]

Yeah, you have to.

[JPC]

What do you mean? You have to?

[Aaron]

When you think that someone has maybe been exposed to rabies and then they bite someone else, then you have to get a rabies shot.

[JPC]

Oh, because I live with a dog who had rabies.

[Adel]

Yeah. Yes.

[JPC]

Yeah. I told that to everybody in confidence. Because I was so drunk.

[Adel]

I told it to everybody in confidence. Brian, listen. Hey, you go ahead and keep the fettuccine that you're. Stop drinking from the fountain. Stop drinking soda straight from the fountain.

[JPC]

Okay, sorry. That's a new rule.

[Adel]

Lisa, Keep the fettuccine in your pants. Keep the fettuccine that you stuffed in your pockets. Obviously, you drink from the. We're gonna have to get a new soda machine.

[JPC]

Oh, give this one a rabies shot because I lived for a year in the wild.

[Aaron]

He stuck his fingers in the food. He stuck his sticky little fingers in the food.

[JPC]

It's a restaurant. Make more food.

[Adel]

Well, that's okay. We will, obviously.

[JPC]

But is there a problem with what I'm doing?

[Aaron]

Yes, we're trying to right now. This is a meeting about brainstorming about how getting some of our customer base back after all the bad PR we got because of you.

[Adel]

Brian, I know what to do. Lisa's actually a 4th degree purple belt, so why don't you grab her wrist? Grab her right wrist. Like. No, sorry. Grab her, like. Grab her wrist.

[JPC]

Okay.

[Adel]

Yeah, like this. Like that.

[JPC]

Her breast.

[Adel]

No wrist.

[JPC]

Grab her. Oh, my God.

[Aaron]

Brian, you did this to me. I actually blamed both of you equally. Because you knew how bad he was.

[Adel]

I'm totally just gonna go ahead and quit.

[JPC]

This guy made me grab your breast.

[Aaron]

No, no, no.

[JPC]

Here's what we should all do. Here's what we should all do.

[Aaron]

Absolutely. Do not start standing in front. No. Do not do that. Let's stop standing in front of this together.

[JPC]

Let's rent a camper. We'll all go camping together in a camper.

[Aaron]

He doesn't have a house anymore. That's what this is.

[Adel]

Man who just constantly needs to be out in the wild. Cause he clearly has rabies. I'm so.

[JPC]

I don't think. I don't think you can live very long with rabies. No, I think you go quick once you get rabies.

[Aaron]

That's sad.

[JPC]

I think that's why they.

[Aaron]

We're not joking about rabies, everybody.

[Adel]

My cous. No, you know what? I've never known anyone who had rabies. Can't even fake it.

[JPC]

I had a horse's wife. No, no, I don't.

[Adel]

I heard myself saying it. And yeah, I'm lying. I'm just straight up lying.

[JPC]

No.

[Adel]

How many people does rabies kill a year?

[JPC]

I don't.

[Aaron]

I.

[JPC]

First of all, I don't think it's a lot, but I do think it's like. I do think it's, like, very fatal. Like, I don't think.

[Adel]

Oh, yeah.

[JPC]

I don't think you're supposed to fuck around with rabies.

[Adel]

There's no way to like. Yeah, let's see here, people. Rabies. Okay. There are fewer than 10 human rabies cases reported in the United States every year.

[Aaron]

Oh, that's good.

[JPC]

Oh, that feels like something that we don't need to raise awareness on then.

[Aaron]

Oh, well, what about all the banners we just made? What about the car wash we did this past weekend?

[JPC]

If it's under 10, I feel like the right amount of. Nobody needs to know about it. Knows about it. You know what I'm saying?

[Aaron]

Okay. Are you telling me that our. Hey, Riddle. Riddle presents Rabies Car Wash was for nothing this past weekend? Okay, I feel fucking stupid. I have the worst sunburn I've ever had.

[JPC]

We have a whole slate of November episodes that were Patreon Rabies awareness. November is now flushed on the drain.

[Adel]

So we have to trash our parody Muppet Rabies.

[Aaron]

This is a nightmare, guys. Muppet Rabies took us, like, six years.

[Adel]

When your dog gets kind of weird and he bites you on the hand.

[Aaron]

Why are there so many songs about rabies.

[Adel]

Rabies. The foamers, the frothers, and you.

[JPC]

There's two. There's two. There's the one that adelsang first and.

[Adel]

Then there's this one.

[Aaron]

I know that it's probably deadly.

[Adel]

And we brought back that one Muppet from the Christmas Carol that's kind of like underwater or whatever. That ghost Muppet that's kind of like underwater. You know what I'm talking about?

[Aaron]

No, I don't.

[Adel]

This crazy, scary Muppet that's in the Muppet Christmas Carol. That's. They like film Muppet in water and it looks.

[JPC]

He's a drowned Muppet kind of.

[Aaron]

He's.

[Adel]

I mean, he's already a ghost.

[JPC]

Oh, okay.

[Adel]

I'll send. I'll send a picture at some point.

[JPC]

No, I'm okay. I don't need to see a drowned. Don't send me a picture of a drowned Muppet. Especially after I forgot what we were talking about.

[Adel]

Well, here's the thing. I need to send a picture because Aaron might want to buy it in the upcoming Muppet auction.

[Aaron]

You guys, I need. I need. I. I need two weeks off.

[Adel]

Two weeks? It's a three hour auction.

[Aaron]

Two weeks off.

[JPC]

I guess, whatever. I guess.

[Adel]

Good news, bad news. Which do you want first?

[JPC]

Bad news, good news. Oh, interesting.

[Adel]

I'll do good news first. So actually, what it says here. Where did it go? So actually, human rabies is extremely rare in the United states. There's only one or two cases reported annually. So it's reported says under 10 previously. Now it says one or two reported. But the bad news is globally, deaths from rabies, about 59,000. What was that globally from rabies? That we've been making light of about 59,000 people.

[Aaron]

Okay, so, Casey, what we're going to do is cut out me singing a song about why are there so. No, you don't. You know the part I'm talking about. Casey, what we're gonna do. What we're gonna do is the part where I was thinking as Kermit the Frog, thinking about raping.

[JPC]

Unfortunately, we need it. It was too long. If it's under 30 seconds, we can cut it. But we need it for content of future.

[Aaron]

From now on, what we're gonna do is we're gonna read the whole Wikipedia article before we jump in into singing about it.

[Adel]

Nah, I'm good. Cause Erin, this is what I'm talking about.

[Aaron]

Oh, yes. You should have just said the Ghost of Christmas past.

[Adel]

Oh, is that who she is?

[Aaron]

Yeah, she's like.

[Adel]

I hate her.

[Aaron]

Oh, she's horrible. Mr. Ebenezer.

[Adel]

That's her.

[Aaron]

That's her.

[Adel]

We're rabies and rabies adults.

[Aaron]

Remember five seconds ago, 59,000 people.

[Adel]

Oh, shit. Casey, here's what we're gonna do.

[Aaron]

No.

[JPC]

Nope.

[Aaron]

Okay. Okay, everybody, let's just calm down for one second, okay?

[Adel]

Okay, we here. And here's how we handle this. Here's how we handle this. Here's how we do an actual car wash for.

[JPC]

We'll split the difference. We'll split the difference. Casey, just cut the song that I sing about Raise.

[Aaron]

Okay, hold on. Don't nod. Don't.

[Adel]

The most egregious.

[Aaron]

Okay, okay, hold on.

[JPC]

We all agree the one I did was the worst. It was in the most poor taste. We'll just cut that one and then we don't have.

[Aaron]

Yeah, that's true.

[Adel]

I'll repeat what JPC saying it was. This is how we raise.

[JPC]

Come on, give me a little credit. Give me a little credit.

[Adel]

Fine. It was something better.

[Aaron]

It was Rabies up your Life by the Spice Girls.

[JPC]

Yeah, no, I think I would have gone with, like, hit me rabies one more time or something like baby bear.

[Adel]

Rabies. Rabies.

[Aaron]

I was like, rabies.

[Adel]

Rabies.

[Aaron]

Rabies. Oh, rabies. Yeah.

[Adel]

In the United States.

[Aaron]

Rabies. Rabies.

[Adel]

This is probably doing very well globally. This is probably causing a lot of strife and pain. Guys, I've been publishing this episode live. Is that okay?

[JPC]

Well, we're fine.

[Aaron]

This was not my fault. If I had known how serious it was, I would not have joked about it. But, guys, what is good news is I just realized that we are. Don't do this because it'd be harder to cut around.

[JPC]

Take me home tonight 59,000 souls to see the light.

[Aaron]

Guys, we are exact one to one. That's a tribute to them for the Christmas Carol ghosts. I am obviously. Oh, my God. That's what I'm doing for the Christmas episode this year. Dibs.

[Adel]

Who's bidding on that? And that ghost.

[Aaron]

No, no, no. I'm saying I am the ghost. We'll have the three of them. They live together. I'm the Ghost of Christmas Past. Adol, you're obviously the Ghost of Christmas Present. And then jbc, you're the horrible death one from the future.

[Adel]

Death one? Yeah, he's the death one.

[JPC]

Am I going to have to see this movie or can I pick it up from context?

[Aaron]

This is not a movie. This is a Patreon episode that we're doing. Does that make me ra. Okay, guys.

[Adel]

Does that make me rain?

[Aaron]

You Guys, when we're all in court, they're gonna play this. Like, when you're in court, they're gonna play it. You know what I mean?

[Adel]

Like, you're gonna never get to our case. Do you know how backlog they are?

[Aaron]

No. This is the type of bullshit people are focusing on these days to distract everybody.

[JPC]

Aaron. It's so much backlog. It's gonna be years before they get to us.

[Adel]

It's gonna be at least two and a half years.

[JPC]

Plus, it'll be like. It'll be like the ICC or something. It'll be like the International Criminal Court. That shit doesn't matter at all.

[Adel]

Yeah, Aaron, we're.

[JPC]

I get put up in front of the ICC all the time.

[Aaron]

Huh?

[JPC]

It's me and Netanyahu. We're both just. We're both just like. Yes, it is a.

[Aaron]

Not the one you think.

[JPC]

Voicemail.

[Aaron]

Yeah, not the one you think.

[JPC]

The Israel guy. That one we're talking about. Not net. Yahoo. Philadelphia. Well, wait.

[Adel]

He went to high school.

[JPC]

That's where he's from. He's from Philadelphia.

[Aaron]

I don't remember if we've done a single riddle.

[Adel]

Um, we did a food one.

[JPC]

Oh, good. So people should be pretty pleased. They did a food one.

[Adel]

Despite being short of money and asking his dad to send some amount of cash, the boy at boarding school received a letter from his dad instead. The letter did not contain any money, but rather a lecture on the perils of extravagance. Strangely, the boy was still content with the response. Why is this? So basically, Ken at boarding school asked his dad for money because he didn't have any. And his dad wrote a letter. And the boy was still thrilled that his dad wrote a letter.

[JPC]

Okay.

[Aaron]

Because the letter is made of gold, Aaron.

[Adel]

That's not a bad guess. You are correct that the letter in itself is valuable.

[Aaron]

His dad's signature is worth a billion dollars.

[Adel]

Now, Aaron, you're very hot. And actually, what is.

[JPC]

Thank you, George Washington. The signature is what's on all the money.

[Adel]

You're zoomed in. Zoom out slightly zoom out. Just.

[JPC]

His dad's famous. His dad's a famous baseball player.

[Adel]

The boy's dad is a famous person. So he was able to sell the dad's letter and gain extra money.

[Aaron]

Okay. I kind of got it though, right?

[Adel]

Yeah, you did. You absolutely did.

[JPC]

Okay, who's buying a letter? What is this famous person that this letter.

[Adel]

Hey, jpc. Hey, jpc. Real talk. You're telling me. If I was Paul Giamatti's son and I came to you and said, I got a letter from my dad. You wouldn't want to buy it off me.

[JPC]

It's a letter where Paul Giamatti is admonishing his son for his extravagance and teaching him the fiscal responsibility. And that's appealing to me as a collector of Paul Giamatti paraphernalia and something about wine. I'm sure there are people with that whatever is going on in their brains that would really like to see that. And I just don't understand who those people are fundamentally.

[Adel]

I do want to see a scene.

[Aaron]

Yeah, I was going to say jpc. I have the craziest alerts ebay alert set for bullshit that you would never dream of buying. So let's not.

[Adel]

Tell us one, Aaron, tell us one.

[Aaron]

Well, if you must.

[Adel]

Ghost from Muppets Christmas.

[Aaron]

Yes. Stuff like that. Well, if you must know, yes. It's been my dream since I was a child to own the Bob Mackie Jewel Barbies from the mid-90s.

[JPC]

Okay.

[Aaron]

They're like not, not the singer Jewel. They're like the Jewel toned Barbies. And I, I figured, I figured that I, I don't really have the space to buy five big Barbies and have them around and still kind of look normal. But I did buy the prints of them this past weekend. I got an ebay alert for $20. Now I have the prints of the. Those Barbies that I liked. Like the illustrations of them. And then I'm gonna frame them and I'm gonna put them in my bathroom.

[Adel]

Very cool.

[JPC]

The closest that I've ever come to understanding this, Aaron, is going walking inside of a Planet Hollywood and being like, whoa, the toilet from look who's Talking to.

[Aaron]

Exactly. But I would say that's a little insulting. Oh, because of the toilet? You said the toilet. I feel like we could think of another bit of movie memorabilia.

[Adel]

You didn't say like Schwarzenegger's jacket from Terminator or like rock gloves from Balboa.

[Aaron]

I'm also looking for, you know, Courier and Ives. I'm looking for Christmas decor from them.

[Adel]

Sorry, from. From who?

[Aaron]

Courier and Ives. They're like a company that they like, did prints. They did like glassware and plates and print stuff. They're in Career knives. They're in Jingle Bells. That's Jingle Bells, right? That's a Christmas song. Whatever. They're in the song Jingle Bells by Courier and Ives. These wonderful things are the things we remember all through our lives.

[JPC]

What. What part of Jingle Bells is this?

[Aaron]

Wait, I'll look it up.

[Adel]

I just Got Berenstain bared. I just got my fucking brain Berenstain.

[Aaron]

Also, Adel, I do remember you wanted to see a scene and I'm so sorry. Okay. Jingle all the Way.

[Adel]

No, this is more interesting.

[Aaron]

Jingle all the Way.

[Adel]

Aaron, we know this part.

[JPC]

You don't need to do that part of the song. That's the one part of the song that nobody needs.

[Adel]

This is like. This is like learning that Johnson and Johnson's in the Happy birthday song or something.

[JPC]

Well, this is also kind of like when someone's like. Yeah, like the Cheers theme is actually like a four minute song and it's about. It's called Suicide is Painless. And you're like, huh, like is there way more to that song that I.

[Adel]

Like have never written by his 14 year old son?

[Aaron]

Oh, it's Sleigh Ride, not Jingle Bells. It's Sleigh Ride.

[JPC]

Well, who fucking cares if it's in Sleigh Ride?

[Aaron]

It's got to be somewhere in here.

[JPC]

Hold on again, Aaron, that's the part of Sleigh Ride that everybody knows. Are you just singing the part that everybody knows?

[Aaron]

There's a happy feeling Nothing in the world can't buy. When you pass around the coffee and the pumpkin chicken pie it is nearly. It'll nearly be like a picture print by Courier and I've see, I always.

[Adel]

Thought they were saying from Courier and I. And I was like, courier's maybe like the neighbor and I is of course the person singing.

[Aaron]

So it's like these wonderful things are the things we remember all through our lives. Yes. Currier. C U R R I E R and I V E S I bought a bell recently at a thrift store in Maine by Currier and Ives. And then I did a deep dive and now I'm just. I'm looking to collect some of their Christmas decor.

[Adel]

That's pretty cool.

[Aaron]

So I got an ebay alert for that. But I'm not gonna spend any more than like $10.

[JPC]

It's like if I was like, that's the toilet that John Travolta died on in Pulp Fixture. I'd be like, holy.

[Aaron]

Really focused on toilet stuff. Jpc.

[JPC]

Well, the bathrooms at Planet Hollywood are awesome.

[Aaron]

Okay, wait, no, those are not. Those toilets are. Doesn't matter. At what scene would you like to.

[JPC]

See many meals in there? Because of how I wasn't treating the tables appropriately.

[Adel]

Well, the scene that I wanna see has now changed. I wanna see JPC as someone on a tour at Graceland who just wants to see the All Right.

[Aaron]

I'll be the.

[Adel]

Can we go back to the bathroom? I actually don't want to see a scene anymore. I don't think.

[Aaron]

No, Adel. I want to do that scene you just set up. You're both on the tour. Ready? Here we go. Elvis obviously didn't get to spend too much of his life here because he was always on the road traveling. And then obviously he really used the bathroom on the tour.

[JPC]

Before we go upstairs.

[Aaron]

Sorry.

[JPC]

We have to use the bathroom on the tour. Can we go upstairs? Someone has to go to the bathroom really, really bad upstairs. Can we go upstairs?

[Aaron]

We have our bathroom bathrooms right by the entrance.

[JPC]

They're full.

[Adel]

That's not the one he died on though, right?

[Aaron]

No.

[JPC]

Also, I don't care about that. I just have to use the bathroom. And those are full.

[Aaron]

The inside the house. Actually, none of these used rooms are usable. There is no running water here. Because this is more of a museum. This is for display only. You actually can't even get anything.

[JPC]

I'll scoop everything out like I normally do, but I just want to go use it.

[Aaron]

No, sorry, sir. You can't use any of the facilities inside this house. You can't even sit on one of the chairs, let alone the toilet.

[Adel]

Hey, Steve. Steve. Hey, Steve. Yeah, I'll do the thing.

[JPC]

Okay, do it.

[Adel]

Excuse me one second. I have to go behind this door.

[Aaron]

Sir, you can't. Sir, you can't.

[Adel]

Excuse me.

[JPC]

Laurel. Screw.

[Adel]

Hey, lady, it's me.

[Aaron]

I'm put on clothes.

[Adel]

My friend.

[Aaron]

Sir.

[Adel]

Clone says what? Hey, your clone says what?

[JPC]

He can't do the voice if he's wearing clothes. It's kind of like a. It's an image.

[Adel]

It's kind of like Dumbo's feather.

[Aaron]

What?

[Adel]

It's kind of like Dumbo's feather.

[Aaron]

So you're sneaking like a cartoon character up the stairs. Other Bye.

[JPC]

Me?

[Aaron]

Yes. Stop.

[JPC]

Don't perceive me.

[Aaron]

No. You think that this is my first rodeo? You think this is my first rodeo? You think that there's not freaks like you coming in here every day trying to use that toilet? We'll have.

[JPC]

I'm sure there's not freaks that work as a team.

[Aaron]

Ow.

[Adel]

Man. Hey, Steve. Sorry, Steve. Aaron, are you happy we saw this? Steve.

[Aaron]

Yes. Don't yuck my yum.

[JPC]

A team of freaks.

[Aaron]

Don't ever ask the follow up question. Are you happy we saw this scene? Don't ask questions you don't want the answer to.

[JPC]

Aaron, would you be capable of providing a distraction in real life?

[Aaron]

No. Think about me.

[Adel]

Think about It. I wouldn't either. Yeah.

[Aaron]

I'm so bad at lying. I'm so bad at talking on the phone. I'm so bad at social interactions. Yesterday, I went to an engagement party, and. And I was zero for, like, 60 of social attractions. I didn't do a good job. Not even one time. Like, I literally was like, why did I even fucking go? I did. I should have stayed home. I could not get any of them normal.

[JPC]

What were some of the examples of a bad. Of what? Like, of a bad social interaction.

[Aaron]

Oh. Where I just.

[JPC]

0 for 60 is a lot.

[Aaron]

Yeah. Like, I just was making people feel weird and uncomfortable. I could tell. Like, I was misreading social cues. Like, it was just really bad. Do you ever.

[JPC]

Were you talking about some things like.

[Aaron]

You shouldn't be talking about? Yes, I was over sharing. I accidentally threw someone, like, under the bus. I. I was making jokes that weren't landing. Like, I literally, afterwards was like, I think I might be a bad person. Like, I. I panicked. And then, like, I, like, accidentally also shared one of my friends, like, real opinions about a thing to someone who I don't know, they would like. You guys, I was, like, out of control at this party. Dead sober, too, by the way. It was a daytime party, and I just, like, could not figure it out. And if you were at that party, I am so sorry.

[JPC]

That's so. That's so funny. It does feel like. It does feel like. Like a sliding downhill where you're just like, okay, I stepped in it once, and I. I never got my footing back.

[Aaron]

100. It was like. Like truly, like, falling down, hitting every. It was like a. Like a pinball machine. Like, I was hitting everything. And then also, it was like a party where it was, like, very nice, cool people at a couple that I. But you guys, it was like every. Every comedian you follow on TikTok, that's like an impressionist or like, a funny person that lives in la was at this thing, and you guys, I could not fucking figure it out. And then I looked up, and there was a girl I went to college with who I had no idea knew, and I was like, am I fucking hallucinating? What is happening? How did you. How do you know these comedy people? I was. I was losing my mind.

[JPC]

What are the chances. What are the chances that everybody at that party just thought you were, like, perfectly nice and fun?

[Aaron]

No, I'm telling you, jpc, you have to believe me. This time. I did not. Do you know what? Ask Becca Barish.

[JPC]

Okay.

[Aaron]

This time, I. I literally Texted Becca Barish when I was leaving. Being like, oh, my God, just forget everything I didn't said. I'm so sorry. I just could not figure it out. Poor Becca. Friend of the show.

[JPC]

Was Becca there? Was Becca there to, like, witness?

[Aaron]

Yeah, Becca was one of the people that. I could not figure it out. I felt horrible. Poor Becca. I said, Becca was so nice. I like. And so awkwardly pulled Becca. Becca was, like, talking to a group of people, and I was so awkward and was like. And just, like, grabbed Becca's arm. And then Becca was so sweet to talk to me. And then I just. You guys, I could not fucking do it. It was so bad. I'm, like, sweating just thinking about it.

[JPC]

That's so fun.

[Aaron]

No, it's not fun. You just skimmed the email again. Gpc.

[Adel]

That's so fun.

[JPC]

No, it's fun. It's fun. It's a fun story. Aaron. It's like a. It's like a good fun story.

[Adel]

It's fun and it's fine. Aaron. It's better than your Rabies song. Anything to plug or promote.

[Aaron]

We cut that, didn't we?

[Adel]

We cut JPC's song.

[JPC]

We cut my song. That's all we had time for.

[Aaron]

I'd like to say sorry. Sorry for everything I did or said this week. At any point, at any time, you guys, I really. I need to just have two hours where I'm breathing and I'll be okay, and I'll be back and I'll be perfect tomorrow. And that's it from me. Adel. Anything to plug or promote.

[Adel]

Come see. Hey, Riddler Riddle on the road, you can go to heyriddowrittle.com tour to find out all our tour dates and get tickets, if there's any available, for the cities you're interested in. Jpc. Anything to plug or promote.

[JPC]

Aaron. One time I was talking to a person at I O and I said their name, and then they said, what? And I said their name again, and they were like, my name is this. And I said, oh, yeah, I guess I fucking forgot your name.

[Aaron]

Jesus Christ. Who is that person? Are they okay? Are they famous now?

[JPC]

No, they were actually kind of a mean person. Oh, okay. But I didn't know that at the time.

[Aaron]

Oh, okay.

[JPC]

I didn't learn that they were a mean person until much later.

[Aaron]

That's okay. I was terrible to everybody who was at that party, and they're all nice. So that doesn't really apply to my situation.

[JPC]

Come see us on tour. If you listen to this, on the day it comes out. I think we might still have some tickets to our Denver show. So if you're in Denver, come see us in Denver. And then in November, the week before Thanksgiving, we have tickets in Philadelphia, New York and maybe Washington, D.C. the Boston one's all sold out. So go to heywardovertle.com live and look for some tickets. And then listen to Gum, Shoes and Dragons. It's a fun podcast. We're having a lot of fun over there. And that's it for me.

[Aaron]

Sweet Jupiter. Sorry.

[JPC]

And John Patrick Cullinan. Casey. Tony did the editing. Logo created by Emily Cardamus and Emily Naporus.

[Adel]

And if you or someone you know have been bitten by an animal, please get yourself checked for arabius.

[Aaron]

Really weird Kermit impression.

[JPC]

Oh, I'm pooping in this toilet. This is where he died.

[Adel]

Who's that over there? Oh, I'm the ghost.

[Aaron]

Oh, no.

[JPC]

Hey there, Kevins and Bridgets. If you like that, you're gonna love this week's episode. We finally get to King Mumble's castle. You can listen to that plus our entire back [e-mail] HeyRiddleriddle by joining the clue crew for $5 a month or start your 7 day free trial or the review crew for $8 a month. Plus you get those ad free episodes. See you there.

[Aaron]

That was a hit. Gum podcast. Wherever you go, whatever they get into, from chill time to everyday adventures, protect your dog from parasites with Cridellio Quattro. For full safety information, side effects and warnings, visit cordelioquattrolabel. Com, Consult your vet or call 1-888-545-5973. Ask your vet for Cordelio Quattro and visit Quattrod.