#381: Colonel Tooey's Jungle Cruise

Summary

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Episode Overview

Podcast: Hey Riddle Riddle
Episode: #381: Colonel Tooey's Jungle Cruise
Release Date: November 5, 2025
Hosts: Adal Rifai, Erin Keif, John Patrick Coan (JPC)
Special Guest: Sandy Weisz

This riotous episode takes listeners through the usual blend of riddles, improv comedy, and rambling anecdotes, with a special focus on "animal parade" riddles and word transformation puzzles. The team welcomes back puzzle-wizard Sandy Weisz (creator of Rattle Quest), who brings fresh, brain-bending word challenges. The gang also riffs on invasive herpes monkeys in Florida, cult religions, and the nostalgia of old names, sprinkling in bonus improv scenes and their signature irreverent banter throughout.

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Main Segments & Key Highlights

1. Potions, Wellness, and Silly Superpowers (03:00–06:40)

• Opening Improv: The hosts launch into wacky improv about creating potions from yard findings, claiming dubious superpowers (e.g., "Butt Bleed" and "Sleepo").
• Notable Quote:
  • Adal (on side effects): "Teeth are bleeding. Good start. Ears are bleeding. Eyes are bleeding. Butt is bleeding." [04:35]
  • JPC as an invented X-Men: "My Mountain Dew? X-Men Butt Bleed Sleepo." [06:11]

2. Food Trends & Mormon Sodas Chat (07:25–09:44)

• Discussion of Arby's "steak nuggets" and dirty sodas—highlighting how some foods/trends are regional or linked to niche communities like Mormons/LDS.
• JPC: "We saw an Arby’s from the drive through of what I want to call a Mormon coffee place... They had dirty sodas—like a soda with the trappings of a vanilla latte." [07:59]
• Spirals into a tangent about religious branding and inclusivity, comparing Mormonism and Scientology.

3. Cults, Religion, and the Church of Riddles (11:45–12:17)

• Hosts comedically contemplate forming a "Church of Riddles", imagining brief prosperity before inevitable prison time.
• Erin, in classic meta fashion: "And then we saw the future. We smashed cut to all of us being in prison for starting a horrible cult." [11:59]

4. Animal Parade Riddles & Florida’s Herpes Monkeys (13:00–21:28)

• Animal Parade Introduction: "Parade" of animals with matching rhymes sets up a series of custom riddles submitted by fans.
• Florida Monkeys Segment: Reads a real article about invasive, STD-carrying monkeys released via a failed 1930s tourist attraction, “Colonel Tooey's Jungle Cruise.”
• JPC: “How many failed tourist attractions do we have in Florida? … It’s a state full of failed tourist attractions.” [16:01]
• Improv Scenes:
  • Erin as a rhesus macaque calling former partners about an STD [17:30]
  • Monkey bar pickup scene also features the alter-ego "Greasy Jake" and “Mr. Banana Pop”.

5. Animal Parade / Riddle Games from Zoe Foley (21:28–33:15)

• Listener Zoe Foley is credited for a new set of animal parade riddles: Each animal brings an item determined by a secret rule (rhyme, anagram, reverse spelling, etc.)
• Example:
  • “A llama with a coma, an antelope with a cantaloupe, a manatee with a vanity, and a pheasant with a present.” [22:30]
  • The rule is rhyme; cheetah's item is “pita.”
• Several rounds are played, with chaos and playful accusation as the hosts fumble their way to answers.
• JPC, self-deprecatingly: "Good thing we did such a good job on the example one. This is gonna be indie." [24:48]

6. Improv: Plumber Wildebeest (29:09–31:44)

• A comedic scene where Erin and JPC's household plumbing is fixed by a gnu-who-is-a-plumber.
• Adal: “I don’t want to be ableist. But you said he doesn’t have hands. But he has, like, hooves?” [30:15]

7. Word Transformation Puzzles with Sandy Weisz (46:11–73:28)

• Sandy’s Segment:
  • Sandy introduces a “rattle” where you change a word by substituting a letter (or letters) with another word/object to form a new concept.
  • Sandy (explaining): "I'm going to give you a starting word and I'm going to tell you to change one letter in that word to a full word." [46:12]
• Selected Puzzles & Humor:
  • Decoy + liquor → Decorum [47:57]
  • Brian + zodiac sign → Librarian [49:13]
  • Rob + a Pixar movie → Rococo [53:06]
  • Porker + animal → Coworker (Sandy hilariously spoils the answer mid-question) [53:55]
• Cultural Asides:
  • The etymology of phrases like “bucket list” (from the movie) and “you’re toast” (coined by Bill Murray in Ghostbusters) [51:39–52:17].
  • Discussion of “old people” names and how trends cycle back.

8. Quickfire Word Games and Banter (64:05–71:12)

• Highlights include improvised names (“Cinnamon Bun Brown” as a detective), playful color-counting digressions, and naming geography (Carmel, Indiana high school classism chat).

9. Sandy’s Plugs & Episode Wrap-up (72:44–74:58)

• Sandy plugs rattlequest.com, The Mystery League, and a $10,000 prize puzzle hunt with YouTuber Zach King.
• Hosts plug upcoming Hey Riddle Riddle Live tour dates in Philadelphia, DC, and Brooklyn, Patreon exclusive “Mumbles Month”, and other guest appearances.
• Final puzzle: “T-I-Y-O-U, change the I to a character from King of the Hill” → "Thank you, Sandy." [73:37]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Adal (becoming increasingly exasperated by zoological absurdity): “Not Tampa. Monkeys.” [16:00]
• JPC, scene-setting improv power: “My name’s Saltines. What’s your name?” [19:12]
• Adal, on failed church/cult plans: “We smashed cut to all of us being in prison for starting a horrible cult.” [11:59]
• Sandy drops trivia bomb: “The idea of a bucket list did not exist before that dumb movie Bucket List came out.” [51:39]
• JPC, feigning incredulity at trivia: “That feels like an inconsequential movie that has made a huge impact.” [52:18]
• Sandy, spoiling his own puzzle: “Oh, I gave you the answer, god damn it.” [53:55]
• Adal, suggesting a new puzzle name: “I'm naming my child Spinking.” [65:57]
• JPC, about Carmel High, Indiana: “Carmel High is humongous... you could go to Park Tutor, you could go to Cathedral. You pick a Jesuit, you could... did their school.” [67:37]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Potions improv/superpowers: 03:00–06:40
• Food and Mormon sodas discussion: 07:25–09:44
• Cults and religion chat: 11:45–12:17
• Animal parade/parade riddles: 13:00–33:15
• Improv—animal plumber scene: 29:09–31:44
• Sandy's word puzzles segment: 46:11–73:28
• Old names and language trivia: 59:20–61:21
• Tour/Patreon plugs, close: 72:44–74:58

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Tone & Takeaway

Hey Riddle Riddle #381 is a fast-flowing, laughter-heavy episode combining earnest attempts at cleverness with lovingly dumb clowning. Even as their brains melt on the trickier puzzles, Adal, Erin, and JPC deliver highly relatable confusion, nerdy tangents, and zany improv. Sandy's appearance elevates the puzzle game; the banter about weird animals, failed tourist traps, and old-school names keeps it light and deeply silly—classic Hey Riddle Riddle at its meandering best.

Transcript

[A]

This is a headgun podcast. Whoa, guys, that recording was crazy. We played all sorts of characters and my brain's like, we. Whoa. We. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I need to find a way to unwind. What to do, what to do, what to do.

[B]

Aaron, you are not wrong. That last recording that we did for the podcast. Hey, Riddle Riddle. Was a doozy.

[C]

Oh, yeah, I sort of. I sort of, like, tweaked my back playing Kung Fu Shrimp. Remember that character Kung Fu Shrimp? I sort of threw my back out. So I'm looking for, like, a natural way to, like, relieve aches and discomfort. You know, I'm not as young as I once was, but yeah, maybe. Oh, maybe like cornbread hemp CBD gummies, right? I feel like that's been a huge piece of my wellness plan recently.

[A]

Cornbread Hemp CBD gummies are made to help you feel better, whether it's stress, discomfort, or just needing a little relaxation.

[C]

They only use the best part of the hemp plant, the flower for the purest and most potent cbd.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Cord bread hemp. That's right. They're CBD gummies and all of their products are third party, lab tested and USDA organic to ensure safety and purity. Now I know exactly what you guys are talking about, and I feel like I can really participate.

[A]

Perfect. Right now. Hey, Riddle Riddle listeners can save 30% off their first order. Just head to cornbreadhemp.com Riddle and use code RIDDLE at checkout. That's cornbreadhemp.com RIDDLE RIDDLE and use code RIDDLE. R, I, D, D, L, E. Don't.

[B]

Just take it from us. Take it from. What is it? Kung Fu shrimp.

[C]

Hello, I'm Kung Fu Shrimp. Everyone, let's chop these boards.

[A]

Adel, you're going to really hurt yourself.

[C]

The surfboards.

[B]

There we go. Oh, his back. Oh, his back.

[C]

Give me another gummy. Another gummy, please.

[B]

Extra value meals are back. That means 10 tender juicy McNuggets and medium fries and a drink are just $8 only at McDonald's for a limited time only. Prices and participation may vary. Prices may be higher in Hawaii, Alaska and California. And for delivery, the doctor was the mother. He stood on a block of ice. Both of them were goldfish. It was the cabin of an airplane. He stabbed him with an ice away. And the horse's name. Okay, so I spent the last hour, three hours or whatever, in my yard collecting kind of ingredients for some potions.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

And so I thought a fun way to kind of start things off would be if everyone takes Like, a bunch of.

[A]

It's so dirty. It was only three hours outside.

[B]

It wasn't like, in the yard, but. In the yard. Aaron.

[A]

Yeah, I know, but you look like you've been missing for, like, months.

[C]

You have tulips growing out of your scalp.

[B]

It's all dirt out there.

[C]

Oh, okay.

[B]

Pretty impressive. It's November. I'm growing tulips. Come on.

[C]

I mean. All right, okay, okay.

[A]

Facts.

[C]

Something's working. Yeah, you're right.

[B]

So we all take just, like, several big gulps out of some of the potions I've made and kind of see what powers we get.

[C]

We can't say Big Gulps. 711 is litigious.

[B]

What can we.

[C]

Huge, huge super bowl in gbc.

[A]

I hate to be this way. It's safe, right? This isn't just a bunch of nonsense he found in the yard. It's not like lighter fluid from the grill and mud.

[B]

Oh, it's all natural. That's a great point, but I. Cause I want to be clear. You say it's safe, but I feel like it's a thing, right? That, like, nature can't hurt you.

[A]

Just because something's natural doesn't mean it's good for you. Right? Like, venomous spiders are natural. Okay, then why are we drinking it?

[B]

You didn't say good for you. You said safe. That's so different.

[C]

Okay, so I see here in this vial, you have. It just looks like a worm that you gave Mountain Dew to, for example.

[B]

Okay, well, so here's the thing. I gave Mountain Dew to a worm, but there's no Mountain Dew in the vial.

[A]

Gulp, gulp, gulp, gulp, gulp, gulp, gulp.

[D]

Aaron, no.

[B]

What power? What power? We don't know if it'll be a good power or a bad power, but we know that potions give you powers.

[A]

Okay. Teeth are bleeding. Good start. Ears are bleeding. Eyes are bleeding. Butt is bleeding.

[C]

Can you fly, though?

[B]

Hut.

[D]

Nope.

[A]

Nope. Okay. So not light. But I'm invisible. Huh?

[B]

Ooh.

[C]

Now we can see you.

[B]

Yeah, we can see you. It's pretty bad. It's bleeding pretty bad.

[A]

I'm going to try. Five seconds into the future, you wait.

[B]

You wait on your powers, because maybe it's like a slow burn. Adol. Why don't you go up one down and maybe see what kind of power we can get from you, my man.

[C]

Okay. He's got real sleepy.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I think your organs are shutting down.

[C]

Yeah. There goes the left lung and right lung.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

Well, but if this is like an.

[A]

Apartment building where everyone's, like, slowly turning off Their lights to go to bed.

[B]

If you live, then go into a coma, but then wake up from it. That's kind of like time travel. That's kind of like a power.

[C]

Whoa. So, okay, yeah, yeah.

[B]

You know, because you don't age in a coma, right? I don't think so.

[D]

I'll see you guys tomorrow.

[A]

You go. Where's the third vial?

[B]

I didn't make enough potions. I wanted my friends to have potions and powers, and I didn't make enough potion for myself to have any powers. I guess I still have some of the Mountain Dew. I fed the worm. Go, go, go, go, go. Okay, I have to go. No, well, no, I don't have to go. I have to sit. I have to stay. I have to still. I have to sit very still.

[A]

What if we did a quick episode of a Riddle Riddle and then we did a field trip to the hospital?

[B]

Hello?

[C]

Can you hear me? My Mountain Dew? X Men Butt Bleed Sleepo.

[A]

Oh, God. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Are we workshopping names? Are we workshopping names?

[C]

Butt Bleed. I'm sorry. I already made the uniforms.

[B]

You can't be sleepo. You can't be sleep. Oh, Casey. Toady is very religious.

[A]

Oh, brother.

[C]

Oh, yeah. I'm not taking Adol. I'm taking Casey Todi. Did I not make that clear?

[B]

That's why I'm so fucking confused. I'm gonna be Dr. Mountain Doom. That's my name. Thank you.

[A]

Better than Butt Bleed. Fucking God damn it.

[B]

Something else that is pretty good is the podcast. Hey, Riddle Riddle. Hi, I'm jpc.

[A]

I'm Atlify and I'm married. I've never gone second before. And then why did I go second?

[B]

Adoles.

[C]

I like you going second.

[A]

No, no, it makes more sense.

[C]

No, it makes. Let's do that. Jpc. Do that. Run that by one more time.

[A]

You want me to go second?

[B]

Speaking of butt bleeds, welcome to hey Riddle Riddle. I'm jpc. Aaron.

[A]

I'm Aaron Keefe.

[C]

And I'm Adler fai.

[B]

Wow, that was fun.

[C]

That was a little earring sandwich.

[A]

I'm the meat.

[B]

We've passed all of this, but I do. Casey, make a quick note. I'm going to be grabbing that for something I'll be doing on the Patreon in just a couple of weeks.

[A]

Oh, right, that's coming up.

[C]

Speaking of butt bleed, did you guys see that Arby's has steak bites?

[B]

We talked about this on our road trip. Adol.

[A]

Have you tried them yet?

[C]

No, but JPC during our road trip was like Arby's has steak bites. And I'm like, what are you saying? And he's like, they have steak bites?

[B]

No, I think they're called steak nuggets.

[C]

Steak nuggets. And then I was curious and we saw an Arby's and GPC was correct. They had steak nuggets.

[B]

They had a big sign up that said steak nuggets are here.

[A]

You said I'm not thinking Arby's.

[C]

We tried to, but all Arby's are ghost Arby's.

[D]

I guess.

[B]

How do I say this, Aaron, if we're being honest? We saw an Arby's from the drive through of what I want to call a Mormon coffee place. We were out in Kansas and I don't think that they have them here in Illinois. At least I have not seen them. But it was a drive thru coffee place. I can't remember the name of it. It was like Zippy's or Ziggy's, something like that. But they had dirty sodas which are like a soda with the trappings of a vanilla latte. So they take a pump.

[C]

It would be like Pepsi with pumpkin spice cream.

[A]

Dirty sodas are big in the Mormon Utah world.

[C]

That's a jupyter.

[A]

Yeah. Because I've watched the Secret Lives of Mormon Wives.

[B]

Well, so I have not watched this, but someone we talked to about this said that they were very big with Mormons and they're kind of spreading outward. We did not try it. We will. And before, just to cut it off at the head right here, we will not be doing dirty sodas on review crew that don't have them in Illinois. They do not have. I don't. But do you know a place that has them here in Chicago? I just don't know that they've made it this far out here.

[A]

No. But I think that we can inconvenience ourselves to an extreme degree and we all have to go to Utah for a review crew.

[C]

And I think Mormons had to drink soda through a straw that was in a hole in a sheet.

[B]

That's yes, 100% true. That is true. And Mormons can have many different sodas.

[C]

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

[B]

Mormon men.

[A]

Yeah, right, right, right, right, right.

[B]

And I, and I think, if I'm being honest, I think they don't like Mormon anymore. Right.

[C]

The term.

[B]

Aren't they all lds? Isn't.

[A]

Don't they Christ of Latter Day Saints?

[B]

Yeah. Don't they want, want to be called Latter Day Saints?

[A]

I guess the PR for Mormonism has not been fantastic. So maybe they're trying to pivot.

[C]

So snappy and cool. Yeah.

[B]

Mormon. Who do you think has a worse like brand and just public perception, not like internal Scientology. You think it's Scientology? Scientology over Mormonism.

[A]

Absolutely. Brutal public brand.

[B]

I do think Scientology's brand is pretty bad, but I think Mormonism is not much, but a little bit older than Scientology. So they have like, they have like a lot more like, like did Scientology ever exclude black people? Because like Mormons let black people into the church and like it was like impossibly late. It was like 81 or something.

[A]

They were like, oh yeah, God just let us know that he changed his mind.

[B]

But I don't think Scientology, as far as I know, they feel like they maybe didn't do that, but who knows? Who knows?

[A]

You want to know what it is? I think why Scientology has it slightly worse is Mormons talk a lot about being Mormon. Like it's really like they talk about going to church and obviously there's these like super secret things inside their church, but they're like really open about it. And it.

[B]

They have missionaries, they prosper.

[D]

Missionaries.

[A]

Like, um, they talk about it on the TV shows that they're on. Like it is. It doesn't feel like some sort of secret in this. It feels like other religions that way. In Scientology, you try to talk to a Scientologist about it and they're like, am I a. Huh? I actually never heard that word before. I'm unfamiliar. And that is obviously so much worse.

[C]

It's a name I haven't heard in quite some time.

[B]

Yeah, door to door, Scientologists being like, hey, have I. Could I interest you in, I don't know, I'll say, like a pretty mid book about spaceships and stuff. It's not the best piece of science fiction, but if you've read everything else, L. Ron Hubbard's stuff isn't bad to like to burn through some time.

[C]

Do we know what the L stood for?

[B]

Loser.

[A]

Yay. I think. Well, this is some advice for you kids out there. Your faith can be personal and your spirituality can be personal. Your religion shouldn't be a secret or personal.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

If it is, you might be in a cult.

[C]

Remember we talked about at some point opening up a church of riddles?

[B]

That's right.

[C]

Is that still something we're interested in doing?

[A]

And then we saw the future. We smashed cut to all of us being in prison for starting a horrible cult.

[C]

But Aaron, you forgot about all the compounds and money we had before that, right?

[A]

Yeah, those compounds and money and water.

[C]

Is it worth three to five years of living high on the hog?

[B]

Speaking of compounds, I actually have a couple more potions for you guys to try. Unless you would rather move. You want to move on? You said what?

[A]

Riddles.

[B]

You said riddles. Interesting. I don't really have any riddles.

[A]

Don't act like a Scientologist with me right now. Own up to it if you're gonna do puzzles.

[B]

Well, Aaron, I don't actually have any riddles for you today, but I guess something that I do have for you would be kind of like a. How to put this? Maybe like a collection of not necessarily mammals, but like a wide spectrum of creatures. Kind of marching to a rhythm.

[C]

Oh, like an animal parade.

[B]

Duh duh duh duh duh duh duh A cheetah with a leopard skin A.

[A]

Cheetah blowing out a birthday candle Dut.

[C]

Dut dut dut dut dut dut A mosquito on a motorbike Dat dat dat.

[B]

Dat dat dat dat A duck with a comb over.

[A]

A bunny in a.

[C]

Marching band Da da da da da da da. The cheetah's back. What's up, man?

[B]

Animal parade.

[A]

Hey, cheetah. You want to be on the episode? It's good to see you. We love how normal your pet is.

[B]

Two weirdos.

[C]

Wait, what?

[A]

We love.

[D]

Guys, I'm panicking.

[A]

Say something. Say something.

[C]

I love meeting someone and going, oh, I love how normal your head is.

[A]

I do that to Lou sometimes when she comes in the room and it feels awkward to go, hey, normal head. It's not shaped like a peanut at all.

[C]

What Everyone working with John Cena has to say, hey, hey, normal head.

[B]

Okay, we have an animal parade and this one I love because it is submitted, I don't want to say five years ago, but it was over five years ago. But it was from Nolan and Nola. That's fun.

[A]

Very fun.

[B]

It's fun when your name kind of matches the place that you're with, except for an extra N. It is fun. Golden Glob. If my name was Nindiannapolis, that'd be fun, right?

[C]

Yeah. If my name was Anne Faye Anta. Faye, come back to me.

[A]

If my name was. Come back to me, Skip.

[C]

My name was Anne Diego.

[B]

This one is called this article from.

[A]

Orlando.

[B]

From Orlando Weekly from 2020. This one says, Florida's invasive herpes monkeys can now be found from Jacksonville to Tampa.

[A]

Hold on, hold on.

[B]

Silver Spring State park has been home to a large troop of invasive STD carrying monkeys for almost a Century. But now sightings are becoming more frequent in Florida cities hundreds of miles from the park. According to a new report from First Coast News, the population of rhesus macaques.

[D]

Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.

[A]

I think we just need to let this wash over us, Adel. I think we deserve this kind of joy. And I think instead of fighting it, let's just give in.

[C]

It sounds like the comeback of like a 7 year old. Of like, yeah.

[A]

Yep.

[C]

Like, do you want some Reese's? And the kid's like, reese's is my. Like.

[A]

And then the whole lunch table is.

[B]

Like, yeah, like, you got chocolate in my penis butter.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Rhesus macaques, you know what I'm saying? Has expanded considerably over the years, and the monkeys are now being spotted in northern cities like St. John, St. Augustine, Palatka, Walaka and Elkton. And as far south as Apopka and Tampa.

[C]

Not pkatka.

[A]

Not Tampa. Monkeys.

[B]

The monkeys were originally. This is awesome. Part of a failed tourist attraction. How many fail failed tourist attractions do we have in Florida? I mean, it's like it's a. A state full of failed tourist attractions.

[A]

That's the lifeblood of the state.

[C]

I think Florida is a failed tourist.

[B]

It's called. It was called Colonel Tuohy's Jungle Cruise in the 1930s, and a survey performed in 2018 found that Silver Springs troop now consists of roughly 300 monkeys. And 25% of that population carries herpes.

[A]

Someone check Colonel Tuohy for STDs.

[B]

Oh, interesting. Yeah. Colonel Toohey probably wasn't the name of a monkey. It was probably the. The man who ran the cruise.

[A]

Yeah. Can we check his.

[C]

Can we check his hard drives?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Herpes be, which, while extremely rare in humans, can cause brain damage or even death if not treated immediately. So I think we know why. What Colonel Dewey died of. No, no, not you too.

[A]

Colonel Dewey.

[C]

Monkeys tore him apart.

[B]

And then it finishes here by saying. The report states that efforts to control the rhesus macaques population ceased in 2012, but a feeding ban was put in place by the Florida Fish and Wildlife conservation commission in 2017. Doing a quick Google to see. Okay. A regulatory body in Florida that is now dead. The FWC reported 43 incidents of human injuries between 1977, 1984, but has not kept record since. Wow, that sounds like Florida. Hey, let's stop keeping records of the disease. Monkeys.

[C]

I do want to scream a scene.

[A]

Oh, we all want to see a scene, Adam.

[C]

I'd like to See a scene. Aaron, you are a rhesus macaque monkey, and you found out you have an STD and you're calling your past partners.

[A]

Great. Don't pick up, don't pick up, don't pick up, don't pick up, don't pick up, don't pick up.

[B]

Colonel Toohey see that?

[A]

I would like to see another seed.

[B]

Okay, sure.

[A]

Jpc, you are one of these STD monkeys and you're at a bar in Tampa. And adol. You actually know about his reputation when he's trying to pick you up and you're kind of putting him in his place.

[C]

Can I get a banana martini, please? Thank you.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

Let me get that. Jake. Let me get that.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah. Beautiful lady like you shouldn't be paying for her own banana martini. Let me put on my tab. Jake.

[A]

Jake. Yeah. Dude, you gotta pay in money this time.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah. No, yeah, put it on my tab. Yeah, I'm good for it. I'm good for it.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I'm good for a lot of things, pretty lady.

[C]

Oh, Jake. As in Greasy Jake? Are you Greasy Jake?

[B]

So, I wasn't saying my own name. I was talking to Jake, the bartender.

[A]

Wait, what are people calling me?

[C]

Nothing. Nothing. Doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. What's your name?

[A]

Oh, my God. God. I knew it. I knew it, I knew it, I knew it.

[B]

Take a shower. Take one shower.

[A]

We will say you don't think I've tried.

[B]

I don't think so. No, I don't think you've tried. Greasy Jake. Are you telling me you are a daily showerer?

[A]

I'll be in the back if anyone needs anything.

[B]

There's no shower back there, so there's.

[C]

My name's Saltines. What's your name?

[B]

Saltines. It's a pleasure to meet you. My name is Mr. Banana Pop.

[C]

Oh, no.

[B]

Oh, so you've heard of me.

[C]

Oh, no. I have to go. I need to go.

[B]

Greasy Jake just left. We have this whole bar to ourselves. I can kind of reach my prehensile tail over the bar and grab whatever bottle you like.

[A]

Bottle smashes on the ground.

[B]

Okay, so I can only lift, like, half a pound. And these bottles are heavy. These are handles. You said your name was Saltine?

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Forget I said that. Have a good night.

[B]

Well, I'm about to have a good night. If maybe I could talk to you for a little while.

[C]

Do these names sound familiar? Sarah, Lil? Lisa.

[B]

Oh, fuck.

[C]

Melinda. Bonkers.

[B]

Wow. They get more specific now.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

My friends who have slept with you unbeknownst they didn't know that everyone else, they didn't know how much you were getting around. Okay? And you broke them up.

[B]

Getting aroused more like it. Look, Mr. Banana Pop is a lover, not a fighter, okay? They never. They all had a pretty good time, you know, if you ask them. Now, did they like the fact that they all slept with me? Maybe not. But individually, during the act, they were all having a lot of fun.

[C]

I think. Throws the martini in your face.

[B]

Gulp. Let me ask you.

[C]

She caught that in one.

[B]

I've had a lot of drinks thrown in my face. I've had a lot of practice.

[C]

Oh, now don't be Saltine's.

[B]

Don't be Saltine. Have you ever had every grain of salt licked off your cracker, if you know what I'm saying?

[C]

I don't know.

[A]

We got to them in bed the next morning.

[C]

Oh my God, I hate myself.

[B]

I guess I probably should have said at the bar, but I have an.

[C]

Std, you piece of shit.

[B]

Oh, let me finish.

[C]

I was drinking your face.

[B]

Gulp. A saltine tasting deficiency. Cause I gotta get a little more saltine. No. But I do have a monkey disease.

[C]

See.

[B]

Which is not okay. You should never tell people after the fact. You obviously have to disclose. No, tell em whenever. Tell em whenever.

[C]

Tell em whenever.

[B]

Whenever you get to it. We did an animal parade because I'm very excited to be. Recently we went to a few places, went to Atlanta, Nashville and Denver for like a week long leg of our tour. And in I want to say one of those places, someone handed me some riddles that they had made. And they say that they really enjoy the animal parade segment which inspired them to write puzzles based on animal parade. So these are kind of animal parade puzzles. And shout out to Zoe Foley, who gave us permission to use the full name, who gave us these, these riddles. Okay, so here's the instructions. In an animal parade, each animal has an item that fits a certain rule. But on their way to the parade, three animals got lost and forgot what they were supposed to bring. Based on the four, the first four animals in the parade figure out the rule and match up the three lost animals with their three lost items.

[C]

Ooh, interesting. Okay, do we need pen and paper for this or anything?

[B]

I don't think you'll need it. Here's your example. A llama with a coma, an antelope with a cantaloupe, a manatee with a vanity. And a pheasant with a present.

[C]

I think I get it.

[B]

So your lost animals are cheetah gecko, and rabbit. What are their lost items?

[C]

A cheetah with pants that have a ple.

[B]

Dot.

[A]

What were the other two?

[B]

That's a big stretch. Cheetah, gecko, and rabbit.

[C]

A rabbit with a habit.

[B]

Okay, got it. Rabbit with a habit.

[A]

A gecko with a cell phone.

[B]

So you guys. You guys are using some slit rhymes here.

[A]

Gecko with a echo.

[B]

Aaron again, go with an echo. Okay. Cheetah. You didn't get. It wasn't a plea. It's a. It's a full word, not a. Not like an A. There's no A or article in front of it.

[C]

Okay. A cheetah dating Sia.

[B]

I will say that Cheetah. Cheetah is spelled swaddy, boys.

[A]

Don't get her.

[B]

It's very funny to see Riley walk in the background because he's.

[A]

He's.

[B]

He was bending down. You don't need to sneeze. He thought like, he thought the top.

[A]

Of him wouldn't be you bending down where we could see your full body is so funny, dude. It's awesome.

[B]

So cheetah is spelled C, H, E, E, T, A, H. And the word that it's rhyming with is spelled nothing like it.

[A]

Oh, cheetah.

[C]

Cheetah.

[B]

But it sounds just like it.

[C]

Cheetah with Aaron.

[B]

It's not mita, but it is food.

[C]

Ooh. Cheetah with a cheeto. Cheetah with a.

[B]

Let's see.

[C]

Cheetah with feta.

[B]

Adult. You have the right nationality.

[C]

Greek. Cheetah with spanakupiti. Cheetah with zeta.

[B]

It is Cheetah with PETA. I'm so glad.

[A]

That could be the character from Hunger Games.

[B]

You got theta, which doesn't rhyme, but it was the right. Like, you were so close with beta.

[C]

Baby steps.

[B]

Yeah, it's baby steps.

[A]

Good thing we did such a good job on the example. One that came really naturally to us. This is gonna be indie.

[B]

The clue there was that the animals rhyme. The animal names rhyme with their items. Okay. But that will not always be the case. That was just the case for that one. Okay, ready for your second one?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Okay. A goat in a toga, a flea with a leaf, a horse on the shore, and a snail with some nails.

[C]

Okay, I get the pattern.

[B]

Okay, you want to solve the pattern? Because you have to solve both things.

[C]

The pattern is whatever they have is a rearranging of the letters in the name of the animal.

[B]

Correct. It's an anagram of their items. So.

[C]

An Erin with a Rhine.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, your lost animals Are a hornet, a parrot and a serpent.

[C]

A hornet with a. Mm. Ronehead with the Ronettes. A hornet singing with the Ronettes.

[B]

With the Ronettes.

[A]

I can't write this out.

[C]

I think it was parrot, hornet and. What was the last one?

[B]

Parrot, hornet and serpent. Which is funny because I feel like they. For the parade, you could have used parrot, hornet and serpent as items and then been like goat. Like a four letter one to get the answer to. But now you have to do six letter answers. So there's six letter anagrams of these things. Hornet, parrot and serpent.

[A]

Ugh, this is hard. I don't want to think.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

A hornet with a throne. On a throne.

[B]

Hornet with a throne. Hornet with a throne. Okay, you got that one. All right. Aaron, did you know that you would be thinking this morning?

[A]

No.

[B]

Cause not to give too much of a peek behind the curtain, but you forgot that we were recording.

[A]

No, got the wrong time.

[B]

Got the wrong time. We tried calling you. Phone was off. We called Riley.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Or I'm sorry, texted Riley. Riley was like, she'll be there in one minute.

[A]

Yes. Lou has been bleeding out of her butt.

[B]

Okay, that's. Everyone does that.

[A]

Okay. Wait a minute. Yeah. What potions have you been drinking?

[B]

We've all been drinking the same potions. I mean, let's be honest, we've all been enjoying the potions.

[A]

Why am I rot Jeepsy.

[C]

I'd like to solve for the last two, please. Is it a parrot on a raptor?

[B]

A parrot on a raptor.

[C]

And a serpent with a present.

[B]

And a serpent with a present. Wow, that makes sense. Three out of three. You nailed it. You also nailed the anagram part. Aaron didn't really nail any of that. But Aaron, maybe you'll do better on this next one. Here you go. You ready for parade number two?

[A]

I am.

[C]

Oh, yes. And can I just say, Zoe, these are fantastic.

[B]

An emu with an instrument.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

An elk with a pickle, gnu with a plunger. And a dog with a pagoda. Here are your lost. A bat, a cat and a rat.

[A]

Because their name is.

[C]

These are all three letter animals that the three letters appear somewhere in the word. Right.

[B]

Not only do they appear somewhere in the word. Well, they appear in a certain order. That's not like the order backwards, but they appear backwards. Emu with an instrument, elk with a pickle, nu with a plunger. Nu is gnu with a plunger and dog with a pagoda. All of those are examples of the letters being inverted and appearing backwards. So bat, cat and rat are your guesses.

[C]

A bat with a tab.

[B]

I mean, bat with tab just works because that's just tab bat spelled backwards. But if you can put tab. Is there a way to put tab into a word? I'll give you a hint.

[C]

Tabernacle Choir.

[B]

Yeah, that was tabernacle. Yeah, I think that could work. I don't see why not. So I'll give it to you. The one that Zoe had was database.

[A]

Oh, nice.

[C]

Ooh, database.

[A]

Can I see a quick scene?

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Adol, you are new. Who is my plumber. And you're working on the bathroom at my house. And jpc, you'll be my husband. And you'll be like, why is there an animal.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Fixing our bathroom.

[C]

Yeah. So I'm just going to use the. I have sort of what we call like a pipe snake. And that's going to pull out any hair or debris that might wash down.

[A]

I'm so sorry. I'm sorry if this is also like beneath your expertise and it's just.

[C]

No, no, no, no, no.

[A]

Yeah. Thank you so much. And we'll definitely get a better cover for that. Yeah. And let me know if you need anything like water, tea or something.

[C]

Oh, yeah. Do you just mind doing the thing that I described with the pipe snake? Do you mind doing it? Because I don't have hands.

[A]

It. Yeah, I will grab you a water really quick.

[B]

Hey, how's it going in there? I didn't want to. I didn't want to interrupt.

[A]

Good. He just was complaining about not having hands and. But.

[B]

What.

[A]

I think he'll be done soon.

[B]

What? The. The plumber. The plumber that you hired.

[A]

He'll. Yeah, he's. I think he was. He'll be fine. I mean, he's professional, so.

[B]

Okay. I don't want to be.

[A]

You didn't want to do this. You said, I'm too busy. Call a plumber.

[B]

No. For sure. And I just don't know kind of how. I don't have the tools. I don't want to be ableist. But you said he doesn't have hands. But he has.

[A]

He has like hooves is the best way to describe him. But I just. Let's not do this whole song and dance where you complain if you don't want to fix something in our house and I bring someone in to fix it.

[B]

That's a wildebeest. I just took a peek. That's a wildebeest in there.

[C]

Do you guys have any short grass?

[A]

We got a little bit in the back if you get hungry.

[B]

Do not know. Don't let him go. Eat my grass. I just mowed. If he eats it when it's this short, it'll die.

[A]

Honey, you.

[B]

That's a wilder paste.

[A]

You said you didn't want to fix the bathroom, and so I said, okay, fine, I'll hire someone to fix it.

[B]

So you hired the.

[C]

Will.

[B]

You hired. You specifically hired a wildebeest?

[A]

I hired someone that could do the job and do it in a timely manner. We're hosting a party in three weeks.

[B]

It's a hair clog.

[C]

Are you having a party? I'm in a. I'm in a cover band. Newfound Glory, but new spelled.

[A]

Oh, I love that. Yeah. Well, I'll grab your card from you before you leave.

[B]

Hell, yeah. I truly. Yeah, I think we should book that. That's fucking. Actually fucking awesome.

[A]

Yeah, okay, well.

[B]

But, baby, baby, look.

[A]

What?

[B]

I love you, but it's a hair clog. And that wildebeest is one of the hairiest motherfuckers I've ever seen in my life. I don't think he's cool.

[A]

He's not gonna shoot shower in our shower.

[C]

Shower real quick.

[A]

Yeah, whatever you need, baby. If you're not going to do this and this is under my jurisdiction, then I'm going to do it my way.

[B]

I feel like that is, in spirit, a good rule, but it feels like maybe you're pushing that rule too far in a way that makes a wilder beast. Is now taking a shower in our clogged shower. I would think he'd sing Newfound Glory.

[A]

I don't think he would. I couldn't think he.

[B]

You don't think he knows a new Found Glory song?

[C]

See, See, I couldn't think of a single Newfound Glory. I know the name. I know.

[D]

I know.

[C]

Taking back Thursday. I know. Taking back Sunday for Wednesday or whatever.

[B]

You'Re thinking about Thursday and taking back Sunday. Two completely different price.

[D]

I know.

[C]

Pennywise. I don't know a single song. Any of those.

[B]

Flag wagon.

[C]

Taking Back Sunday.

[B]

Goldfinger. For sure. Thursday. All right. Hey, look. Let's do one more. Let's do one more and then we're going to take a break. Okay, fine. Wait, hold on. Oh, we didn't finish this one. A cat. Let's finish this one.

[C]

A cat with a tactile tic tac toe.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Love that.

[B]

What is.

[A]

If we get one that works, does it even matter if we get the right one?

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Rat with a tarp. Done.

[B]

I think you did. Tactile will work. And don't say we like you. Help.

[A]

I am here. I'm doing that thing where, like when you help lift something and then you go over to help and they didn't really need you.

[B]

Yeah, the ones that Zoe had for cat was mustache, and for rat was rat with a guitar.

[C]

Oh. I mean, those are much better than what we had.

[B]

But you're right, if you get one, you should be allowed to move on. And I do accept that you two are both allowed to move on. And so now we must move on. And maybe we'll do some of Zoe's animal parade anagrams a little later. But now we must move on to a break.

[C]

Hey, guys. Thanks for coming over. I thought I would host a early Thanksgiving dinner and just talk about all the things I'm grateful for. I'm grateful for my all the kickballs. I have all my windows in my house. And also I'm thankful for rock. Rocket Money. Have you heard of this? You seen this?

[A]

Oh, yeah. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. I've been using Rocket Money for years, way before they were a sponsor, and I love it. To keep me financially organized.

[C]

And not just you, Aaron, or not just me. Rocket Money has saved users over $2.5 billion. B b b billion $2.5 billion, Aaron.

[A]

That's a lot of money.

[C]

Including over $880 million in canceled subscriptions alone. Their 10 million members save up to $740 a year when they use all of the app's premium features. $740 a year saved. That could buy me so many new windows.

[B]

If you've got a goal that you'd like to save for, Rocket Money can analyze your accounts to find the best time each month to put extra money aside. Plus, Rocket Money will even try to negotiate lower bills for you. The app automatically scans your bills to find opportunities to save and then goes to work to get better deals. They'll even talk to customer service so you don't have to.

[A]

And you know what? It's so color coded and lovely and they make all these charts for you. So it's just intuitive. It's easy to use. And they will find those subscriptions that you forgot you signed up for and they'll let you know. They'll keep you on top of it. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney.com Riddle today. That's RocketMoney.com Riddle RocketMoney.com Riddle R I.

[C]

D D L E I forgot to kill the turkey. Can someone kill that?

[A]

Oh, JBC would love to do that. Jbc.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Get over here. Turkey wobble.

[A]

That's a chicken. That's a chicken noise. What am I saying? Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble. Put that in instead. Thank you.

[B]

This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace.

[C]

Well, guys, I built us a sandbox to play in. Sandy's not here. Just built a sandbox, a nice square sandbox so we can go ahead and build some castles, play pretend, whatever.

[B]

Would it be okay, Adol and you can say no? Can I use this square space that you built as a all in one website platform designed to help me stand out and succeed online? So I can kind of use this to build my own website? Is that, is that okay with you or.

[C]

Jf? You see, the sandbox is for pretend. What you described is an actual thing. It's called Squarespace.

[A]

So it's not a litter box? It's not a litter box. Uh oh, that's fine. That's fine. I'll make a call. I'll make a call. Keep going.

[B]

Make one for me and make one for me. And make one for me.

[A]

Yeah, I got it. I saw, I saw it. I'm making, I'm going.

[B]

Oh, okay, Adel. So you're talking about Squarespace, which gives you everything you need to offer services and get paid all in one place. From consultations to events and experiences, showcasing your offerings with a customizable website designed to attract clients and grow your business. Get paid on time with professional on brand invoices and online payments. Plus streamline your workflow with built in appointment scheduling and email marketing tools. That's kind of what you're talking about.

[C]

Absolutely. You know, actually use Squarespace. You know, you can sell content on there. Squarespace makes it easy to monetize your content by selling access to online courses, blogs, videos, memberships, sandbox tutorials. Start with a fully customizable website and earn recurring revenue by getting your content behind a paywall.

[A]

Squarespace makes it easy to showcase your expertise and engage clients with video content on your website. Upload and organize your videos, create stunning video libraries, and even monetize your content by adding a paywall. Perfect for online courses, exclusive tutorials, and premium workshops. And I'm just deleting the footage we have of this sandbox because no one used it as a litter box.

[B]

Hey, this is Dirty Ricky. You called about a double litter box cleanup?

[A]

Yep. Ricky, can you call me back?

[B]

I can't hear you. You're gonna have to be very loud and very specific.

[A]

Call me back in four minutes. Ricky.

[C]

Don't know why you're leaning into the nickname Dirty Ricky, but Dirty Ricky and everyone else head to squarespace.com riddle for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code RIDDLE to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

[A]

All right, Dirty Ricky, I can talk now. How are you? Do you want to get dinner or.

[B]

Go to dirtyricky sandboxcleanup.com powered by Squarespace no.

[C]

Oh, okay. That's good.

[B]

Someone will make that.

[A]

Okay. Gpz. Open it. Open it. Just as a heads up, it is a gift for me that I just want you to open for me.

[B]

And it's in this lion's mouth.

[A]

Yes. And okay. Battle. Huh? Pretty good.

[B]

Mm. Opening the jaws of the lion.

[A]

My sweater. It's my new Quint sweater.

[B]

It's covered in lion inside.

[A]

Yeah, but it's $50 and it's cashmere.

[B]

Oh, wow. You actually got a pretty good price on the sweater.

[A]

I know. I love quints. I recently got some curtains and a rug from there. And I point to two other animals that have eaten my curtain and rugs that you need to fight to get them back. For me. I love Quince.

[B]

Ooh.

[C]

And I love Quint's as well. Because they partner directly with ethical factories and top artisans. They cut out the middleman to deliver premium quality at half the cost of other high end brands. So you can give luxury quality pieces without the luxury price tag.

[B]

Is the lion something I can find on Quint's? Because this is a very good lion. I mean, like, I've had way worse quality lions.

[A]

Maybe soon. Maybe soon.

[C]

No animals were harmed at Quints.

[A]

I love their holiday stuff, but I really love their home stuff. Incredible sheets, linens, like the most incredible basics for a price that's not spooky at all. Give and get. Timeless holiday staples that last this season with quints. Go to quints.com riddle for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns now available in Canada too. Oh, Congratulations, Canada. That's quint.com Riddle Q-U-I-N-C-E.com Riddle Free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com Riddle R I D D L.

[C]

E Now I will tame this lion. Oh.

[B]

Oh.

[C]

He's got my leg. At least my cashmere jacket looks nice. From Quince.

[A]

Give us a spin.

[B]

Oh, can you get that leg on Quince? This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp Guys.

[A]

I don't want to go mountain play. It's already dark. It's dark. It's 4pm or whatever and I'm. I don't want to. I don't want to go. I don't want to play too dark.

[B]

Drop kicks my ball down the street.

[A]

Coaster someone's window immediately that was my.

[C]

Ball in my window. Aaron and JPC listen, shorter days don't have to be so dismal. It's time to reach out and check in with those you care about, which would be two of you and other folks, and to remind ourselves that we're not alone. That's where Better Help comes in.

[A]

Betterhelp therapists work according to a strict code of conduct and are fully licensed in the US I love BetterHelp because I can message my counselor anytime and they get back to me with a timely response. It's fantastic.

[C]

And with over 30,000 therapists, BetterHelp is one of the world's largest online therapy platforms, having served over 5 million people globally. And it works with an average rating of 4.9 out of 5 for a live session based on over 1.7 million client reviews.

[B]

Plus BetterHelp does the initial matching work for you so you can focus on the therapy goals. A short questionnaire helps identify your needs and preferences and and our 12 plus years of experience in industry leading match fulfillment rate means we typically get it right the first time. If you aren't happy with your match, switch to a different therapist at any time from our tailored recs. A better Help therapist and you name a better match. Oh, Adel's Kickball in Adel's window.

[A]

Oh, of course. This month don't wait to reach out. Whether you're checking in on a friend or reaching out to a therapist yourself, BetterHelp makes it easier to take that first step. Our listeners hey Riddle Riddle listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com Riddle that's BetterHelp H E L P.com Riddle R I D D L E.

[C]

I'm going to talk to my better Help therapist about my friends keep breaking my windows.

[A]

They're just so fun to break. Smash hey. Hey guys. I got a riddle for you.

[B]

Oh, okay. Yeah, you're not old man puzzles, but I guess. Yeah, whatever.

[A]

What is why is. Why is sand the best thing to have on a improv in Riddle podcast?

[B]

Why is sand.

[C]

Why is sand the best? Well, it's going to get everywhere.

[A]

It's spelled S and yes. And you like that You Know what?

[D]

I was working on a version of that myself, so thank you, Aaron.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[C]

What the fuck?

[A]

Yeah, Sandy's here. Sorry, I invited Sandy over for dinner.

[B]

So, Sandy, when you say you're working and welcome. Sandy.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

When you say you were working on a version of that yourself. What? What? What?

[D]

I would notice that we. I'm on an improv podcast. Been here about a couple dozen times and never mentioned that my name is one letter off from yes. And.

[C]

Well, two letters off.

[D]

No, but.

[B]

Well, because you. Well, but his name is Sandy.

[A]

He's putting the Y if his name was a circle. The Y.

[C]

But names are circles.

[B]

But mine is if they were.

[D]

That's what I'm trying to say.

[B]

Well, but. Well, I mean, someone's name could be circle. I mean, circle is a first name. It's in the Bible.

[D]

Yes. What?

[A]

Okay, hold on.

[C]

Circle gets the square. That's a biblical passage.

[D]

If you take away four of the letters in my last name, then you get yes. And if you. And you treat it like a circle, it's not a big if. Names have been through worse.

[A]

I love that. We had an opportunity to do. Yes. And with this. And we decided not to.

[D]

We decided not to.

[B]

No.

[A]

Okay. Fun. Okay, cool. Sandy, thank you so much for coming back. You've been here.

[D]

It's great to be here.

[B]

Sandy's a nickname, though. I mean, that's not his real first name.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Yes. And.

[D]

Speaking about my.

[B]

You've got or you've got or on your first day.

[D]

Yeah, that's what I say. The great thing about my full name is there's. Or there as well.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

So it's improv 2.0. You can yes and or.

[C]

And no is in it.

[D]

No, isn't it?

[C]

Yes. Yeah. Sandor. Sandor.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

No.

[B]

Yeah. No's in there. Yeah. If names are a circle, Sandy. Hoisted by your own petard. Yes.

[D]

I should stop keeping these petards around.

[C]

Make it so.

[B]

Yes. There it is, Captain Kirk.

[A]

All right, we gotta do something.

[B]

Sandy, welcome back to the show.

[D]

Thank you. How you guys been?

[B]

Aaron has not been really well.

[A]

Let's not answer for each other.

[B]

I think pretty bad. I'm okay.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

How have you been?

[D]

Oh, I've been great. Been still working on this rattle project.

[B]

This.

[D]

This game, this word game that I have. It's been going great.

[A]

It's awesome.

[D]

So up to, I don't know, like 8,000 people a day play it.

[B]

Geez, that's crazy.

[D]

Yeah, we're up to over maybe around 250 of them so far. So it's at a thousand people a.

[B]

Day and we've done 250 of them. Oh, so you're like using their names.

[D]

And stuff like, oh, I've done 250 of them. Yes, that's what I meant. Yes, yes, I'm anding you.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Sandy is using his rattle project to fuck the people that are doing it. So. And then he's keeping track. So pretty high body count for Sandy, I have to say.

[C]

Is this the press you wanted?

[D]

Get. Get er done. That's what I was told. That's the instruction that I followed. So anyway, that's mostly most of what my attention has been spent on is, is making these rattles work and people seem to enjoy it and try to bring a version of that to you guys today. A little, hey, rattle, rattle.

[A]

I love it.

[C]

We will.

[D]

So the way, the way rattle works, of course, is that you get a series of clues out of order that you have to apply to each step of this word transformation ladder. That's a little hard to do in audio form. So instead of giving you a bunch of clues, I just came up with a. A more direct version of word transformations. So here's the way it's going to work. I'm going to give you a starting word and I'm going to tell you to change one letter in that word to an. To a full word. So you're going to like change a letter in the word to another set of letters and then I'll tell you what the result will be. So for example, if I said the starting word is glee and I want you to change one letter in it to a grain, and the answer will be a kind of facial hair. Okay, so you would change a letter in glee to replace it with the name of a grain. In this case it would be oats.

[A]

And then goatee.

[D]

And then you get goatee.

[A]

Fun. Okay, fun.

[D]

Does that sound good?

[A]

Yeah. I'm going to be really bad at this. Let's do it.

[D]

I think you'll be great. I think I have no idea how it's going to be. Let's find out. The starting word. The first word is decoy. And you want to change one letter in decoy to a liquor, and the result will be a word that means good behavior or describes good behavior.

[C]

I'm going to say gin is probably the liquor we're changing.

[D]

It's got to be gin. Not gin.

[B]

It's got Sandy. Sandy. I love you, rum. Christ, I love you, brother. But it's got to be gin.

[D]

You know it's rum. Yeah.

[B]

Okay. Decoy. And we're changing one letter to rum.

[C]

Rummy. Coy.

[B]

Da Rumoy. Aaron is decorum.

[A]

Decorum.

[C]

Oh, decorum.

[B]

Decorum for me. Did you have it, Aaron? Did you know it?

[A]

Decorum. Yeah. It's getting really close. Because I was gonna say. No, because I said. Well, I think it's at the end of the word.

[D]

Okay, what was it in the middle of that JPC you suggested? I think Rumikoi.

[B]

I think. Did Adol. Did you say rummy?

[D]

Koi. Koi. But Rumikoi. That sounds like an amazing game.

[C]

So much the same.

[D]

Right? Except I can actually see you and I could tell who's talking. So Rumikoi. Gonna write that down for an idea to use later. Okay.

[B]

Just make sure I get credit for it because I said it well. But he thought.

[D]

Well, let's move on to the next one. The word is the name Brian.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

And do you want to change one letter to a zodiac sign? And the answer will be a profession.

[B]

But here's the thing. You can spell Brian, like, two different ways.

[D]

Okay? Put it with an I.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Leo in librarian. And I haven't thought about it.

[D]

You know what? You're half right.

[A]

How?

[B]

How? But also Libra.

[A]

Oh, Libra. And that makes way more sense.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

I knew something was there.

[D]

Leo would be a Leorian. Which may be something for all I know.

[A]

Leorian sounds like a profession in, like, a D and D world.

[D]

Totally. Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

I'm so tickled by Eren getting it right, but using the wrong side. Using the wrong.

[D]

The wrong side.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Or a Scorpiorian. That's what I.

[A]

You're a Scorpio.

[D]

I'm a Scorpio.

[A]

I'm a Scorpio, too.

[D]

Hell, yeah.

[B]

Whoa.

[A]

Cool.

[C]

What does that mean?

[A]

It means they have November birthdays. And loyal. No, Sandy could have an October birthday.

[B]

Oh, are you an October Scorpio, Sandy?

[D]

No, I'm in November.

[B]

Oh, okay, good. Shame on you if you're not.

[A]

What's your date? What's the day of your birthday?

[D]

13Th.

[A]

Oh, I'm the 10th.

[D]

Amazing.

[A]

We should have a joint birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Sandy, does your birthday ever fall on a Friday?

[D]

Absolutely. No. Somehow in all the years I've been living, it's been. They've chosen not to do it. Yeah, I loved it. In fact, with for one year, when I was. I want to say, 10, we rented a spooky house on a farm and watched horror movies.

[C]

Pretty good.

[B]

What about this for Rule. So Halloween is always. It's always the same day every year. Right. It's the 31st 30th. What is it?

[C]

31St.

[B]

31St. We know. I think if there is a Friday the 13th also in October, we should do double Halloween that year. I think there should be.

[C]

Oh, I love that.

[B]

I think there should be Halloween on Friday the 13th.

[C]

Holo Halloween.

[D]

Was Friday the 13th a thing before the movie or did they make that up as a scary thing?

[C]

I think it was before the movie. I think it was just like really day to be cautious.

[B]

What is it when the guy who knows more than anything that you'll ever know. I mean, this is the guy that knows all of the stuff. And now he's asking me a question about what is going on with some stuff. That's insane. Right? Does anyone else feel insane when the.

[A]

Smart guy asks questions?

[D]

I don't know all the stuff. I just like asking questions about all this stuff. Including.

[B]

That's even worse.

[C]

And here's my reasoning behind saying that it was a thing before the movie is because if it wasn't, that's insane to be like, let's just trust that people are gonna go see a movie that's a date.

[D]

Well, I. Yes. Counterpoint, though. There's a lot of stuff in our culture that is actually ascribed to it. Just a movie that was. That came up with it and we forget about it. Like, for example, the idea of a bucket Bucket list did not exist before that dumb movie bucket list came out. Now we all have.

[A]

That's crazy.

[B]

Is that real? Is that actually real?

[D]

They made that up. Yeah. And now we all use it as a common term. Or like. Or like the idea of saying you're toast to mean you're done. Do you know where that comes from?

[B]

Feels Arnold's worse than they get.

[D]

That is something that Bill Murray made up in the movie Ghostbusters in 1984.

[C]

Whoa.

[D]

That was not an expression before that. And now what? We don't even think it has an origin. Yeah. The idea of saying you're toast.

[C]

Same with having a heart attack. Bill Murray was like, I smell toast. And they're like, what? They had a heart attack?

[D]

That's right. That did not exist. Came from the movies.

[C]

One of the better improvisers.

[B]

That is so fucking wild that the bucket list thing is really throwing me because that feels like an inconsequential movie that has made a huge impact.

[A]

They didn't come up with the term kick the bucket, you know?

[D]

No, but the idea of it.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Mrs. Hillary is counted. And Rachel Dratch. People forget that Rachel Dratch created Debbie Downer.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Was not a term before snl.

[B]

That's true. Hey, and that's true.

[C]

You're a real Debbie Downer.

[B]

It isn't that true.

[D]

Do you want another one? Let's keep going.

[A]

Let's keep going.

[D]

I got more. I got a lot more.

[B]

Good.

[D]

How about the name Rob or the word Rob? Replace one letter with a Pixar movie and you get an art movement.

[C]

Rotoys.

[A]

Rococo. Rococo.

[D]

Rococo is right.

[B]

Whoa. Rockars is up. A Pixar movie.

[A]

Rup.

[B]

Rup.

[D]

Rupee. Replacing one letter with two letters is certainly possible. Just not as interesting, I think, as replacing it with four.

[B]

Okay, to my face. That was interesting.

[A]

Take the note.

[D]

How about porker? So here's the word porker. Replace one letter with an animal to get a colleague.

[B]

Hmm.

[C]

Hmm.

[B]

Poor pigger. Poor pigger.

[C]

Poor pigger.

[A]

Poor, poor pigger.

[C]

Replace one word with an animal.

[B]

Definitely zebra.

[C]

A companion. Is that what you said?

[D]

A co worker.

[C]

Co worker.

[D]

Oh, I gave you the answer, God damn it.

[A]

Oh, it's co worker.

[C]

Oh, it's cow.

[B]

Is it cow?

[D]

Cow.

[C]

A cow worker.

[D]

Cow orca. It's a cow orca.

[C]

Oh, I do want to see a scene.

[B]

You just been toasted.

[C]

You're toast. You just kicked the bucket.

[D]

This is like when there's a clip of Ken Jennings spoiling one of the answers on. On. On Jeopardy. Because the answer was the word, like back in black. And there was. Okay, so the clue was back in blank. And he. And blank. The answer or the question, I guess, was what is black? Right. And. But he said back in black. Probably because black and blank are so close together that his did a little slip. Anyway, that's me comparing myself to Ken Jennings.

[A]

I hope he got punished.

[D]

Let's see the scene.

[C]

Thank you, Sadie. I'd like to see a scene. Aaron and jpc, you two are cowork. Two cows who work at the office. And this is a day at work right after one of the office famous office parties.

[A]

Ooh, Moo. I am hungover.

[B]

Me too.

[A]

Hey, did you see that we got a notification on Slack that we have, like, an all hands HR meeting today?

[B]

I had no hooves on my calendar.

[A]

Oh, are you sorry I misread it? I'm a classic. I'm one of those Ken Jennings types. All hooves meeting.

[B]

Yeah, okay. Yeah, I saw it. All hooves. You don't think it's. You don't think it's about, like, Party. Party. Right. I mean, it was. I felt like it was pretty tame. I mean, we were.

[A]

I don't know. I'm a little worried.

[B]

What did we do? I mean, I guess we played pin the tail and the donkey. I don't think the donkey in accounting. Maybe she didn't love that.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

We scan across the cubicles and we see that there's xeroxes of udders and condoms filled with milk tied off.

[B]

I mean, what else? I mean, what else could it be?

[A]

I just. I feel like. I'm. Mean, how many strikes do you have right now?

[B]

How many strikes do I have?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Four, maybe five.

[A]

Yeah. I feel like I. We could be sent to the butcher today. I'm just having that, like, kind of sinking feeling. And maybe it's anxiety. And maybe it's anxiety, but, like, we were.

[B]

Are you saying hangxiety?

[A]

Yeah. Like, hang on.

[B]

Hunger and anxiety.

[A]

No, like, hangover and anxiety.

[B]

Hangover and anxiety. Okay, got it. I'm only familiar with hangry, which is hunger and angry. So, sure, yeah.

[A]

Well, let's just, like, we'll. We'll focus on taking care of ourselves.

[B]

Wait a second, wait a second. Hold on, hold on. Oh, my God.

[A]

What?

[B]

Look around the office.

[D]

What?

[B]

Xeroxes of udders, condoms full of milk.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

One of the goats must have gotten so wasted at the party.

[C]

Aaron, you might have just invented hangxiety.

[A]

Did I? I thought that was a common term.

[C]

Oh, is it?

[A]

But history will say it was me. History will say I am the Bill Murray of the Hater podcast. I'm ready for some more.

[D]

Let's do another one. All right. How about the word row? R, O, W. Replace one letter with a state to get a part of a salad.

[B]

Rhode island salad.

[C]

Love those local commercials. Replace one letter with a state to get a type of salad.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

A type of salad.

[D]

Type of salad.

[A]

No.

[D]

Part of a salad.

[A]

Part of a salad.

[C]

Part of a salad.

[B]

Oh, raw Montana. Raw Montana what?

[D]

Exactly?

[C]

Raw Montana.

[B]

Romaine tana. Romaine. Romaine tana.

[A]

Maine.

[B]

Maine. It's just Maine. It's not Montana.

[D]

It's not Maintana Roman. Romaine.

[B]

Romaine. That's part of the leaf of the salad.

[D]

As part of a leaf. That is the leaf. It is the main part. It is the main part of the salad. How about the word bean? Speaking of salads. B, E, A, N. Replace one letter with a cereal to get a woman's name.

[B]

One letter of bean with a cereal to get a woman's name.

[C]

Cheerioing.

[A]

Cookie, Crisp Bean.

[B]

Golden Grands.

[C]

Be Captain Crunch. Bean.

[B]

Captain Crunch Bean.

[C]

Sandy, are you mad at us?

[A]

Yes.

[D]

No. You're doing exactly what I wanted. Okay, so right into my hand.

[C]

Life is a serial name. I'm trying to think of shorter serial names. Kix.

[D]

It's not Kicks, but think short.

[B]

Yeah, Short, Short, Kicks Life.

[C]

So like Eileen would be a name, a serial called A.

[B]

But it's got Bean En. So it's, it's replacing Bean. So it's there a cereal that ends in E maybe.

[C]

Or Trix. Beatrix. Beatrix are for kids. She's a babysitter.

[D]

Kids is Beatrix, would you say an old fashioned name?

[C]

Beatrix Potter?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, I think so.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah. Okay, cool. I think one of like the, the princesses or queens of the Netherlands is named Beatrix.

[C]

But it's always fun for me to stumble into. Oh, that's where we get this shortening. So I think I'm just realizing now that Trixie was probably a nickname for anyone named Beatrix who wants to use that. Oh yeah, or like brc.

[D]

I learned that Beatrix Arthur Tilda Swinton's full name is Matilda.

[B]

Like that makes sense.

[C]

Oh, it's like a Topher Grace situation. She's the last. Okay.

[A]

Huh.

[C]

Topher is just short for Christopher.

[B]

I was at the zoo the other day and I was like kind of walking slowly because with my kid, but I was walking behind these two. They were probably like in their 70s or 80s, older women who were also walking very slowly. And they were having a discussion about people in their lives, like friends of theirs. And I was, I wanted to write it down because they were just running down like a list of like the oldest person names you've ever heard of. There was like a Dawn in there and an Esther. And I was like, I mean, dawn is literally the earliest you can go. Esther, I think. Esther I think is old tested as.

[D]

Early as you can go.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Well, there's even them.

[B]

They were just running through a list of people that I'm like, these are just like names that are like on the verge of leaving the planet. Although now old names are coming back. I feel like.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, we encountered that when we named our kids. Like we were looking through all the obviously names that were coming up in popularity and they're all, a lot of them are names that were really, really antiquated for a long time but were popular like a hundred years previous. And then my wife tells a story about her grandma who's named Ruth, but they wanted to name her Rebecca. This is back in the 20s probably. And everyone was like, that's such an old fashioned name. Do something modern like Ruth.

[C]

I've mentioned it before, but my great grandma's name was Fern.

[B]

I love that name.

[C]

Which I think is just such a wild, such a wild swing for a parent to take of like this baby's gonna be a Fern.

[D]

Right? Right.

[A]

Hell yeah.

[D]

Isn't Fearne in Charlotte's Web? Isn't that the name of the girl?

[C]

Yeah, you're thinking of where the red Fern Agar is.

[A]

You're thinking of Fearngully.

[D]

Oh, that's right. I'm always thinking about Fern Gully. That's my secret.

[B]

Well, Fearne is also short adolescent. It's a nickname. The full name is Furnacular, which is part of language.

[A]

Someone should pull the plug on this podcast.

[B]

Okay, Sandy, did you do the thing when you named your kids where you named them after like relatives but just with the first letter of their name?

[D]

Okay, well, okay.

[B]

And we'll move on. And that's an edit point. And Casey, just mark that as an edit point because Sandy can't get into, well, Jewish heaven. What is that? I guess you messed up.

[D]

The answer is yes and no. I didn't love the idea of doing just the first letter. So you did a rattle?

[B]

You did a rattle on your kids names?

[C]

You did a baby rattle?

[D]

I did a puzzle on my kids names. It's true. So my son's. That's true. My son's name is Ezra. And my wife wanted, wanted that name. And I was like, okay, it was get. It was kind of gaining a popularity, which I didn't really love. And it's gained even more in the last 15 years for sure. But then I realized that we could make it an acronym based off of some three of four of our, well, I guess three of our great grandparents of his great grandparents. So the E, the Z, the R all stand for our grandparents. And then his middle name is Stanley, which is another grandparent.

[B]

Okay, okay, so you kind of did it. You kind of did your little puzzle stuff. I thought you were gonna say you picked a name and your wife was like, I want something better. And you were like, better than Ezra. And she's like, that's it, that's it.

[A]

That's the ticket.

[D]

That joke, as you can imagine, lives in the subconsciousness and the current of our family discussions though, so. But it's. We only pull it out like once or twice a year.

[B]

Can't overuse it.

[D]

We can't overuse it. But it is a very, very Good one to go to.

[C]

What's one?

[D]

We also have a song. All songs are better than.

[C]

Oh, no, I truly don't know. A better than I don't know.

[B]

Oh, please.

[D]

But we also have a dog named Cleo, and so we've made letters to Cleo jokes too.

[B]

Oh, wow. I think a better than Ezra song is. Is that one that's like we're living where we want. I think that's a better song. Good. Yes. It's called Good, good, Good.

[C]

I don't listen to that.

[D]

Want some more puzzles?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

No. We could do that for a little while. Let's do some puzzles.

[D]

All right. Take the word Sting. Change one letter to a color, and you'll get something done at a baseball game.

[A]

Mm.

[C]

Sitting.

[B]

Sitting. Bunting. Bunting. Bunting.

[C]

Blunting.

[D]

Bun, I guess is a color.

[B]

Shh.

[D]

But it's not the one I'm picking up.

[C]

Cinnamon bun brown.

[B]

Sandy, don't give me bun. I guess it's a color. I should go to jail for that.

[C]

Actually, cinnamon bun brown might be my new teenage detective.

[D]

Don't worry.

[C]

Cinnamon bun brown is on the case.

[A]

All dessert related mysteries.

[B]

Okay, this actually rules.

[C]

That actually is incredible.

[B]

All right, Sting. And you change one letter, and it's something you do at a baseball game or you see at a baseball game.

[D]

I would say the phrasing would be something done at a baseball. You don't do it? No, the players do it.

[B]

Something done at a baseball game.

[C]

Swinging is wing. A color.

[B]

Switing. Sweating.

[C]

Switing.

[B]

So yeah, you do swing, but it's Sting. So it's s. Something ing, I think. Is it?

[D]

That's right. Let's go through all the colors. How many could there be? 64.

[C]

Sorging. Cielo.

[A]

Red. Green.

[D]

Not in the rainbow.

[B]

Speeching.

[C]

Not in the rainbow. Tan.

[D]

Standing.

[A]

Turquoise.

[D]

Spinking. I think might be something in baseball.

[B]

Spinking.

[D]

No.

[B]

Spinking. I'd like to solve the puzzle. I'd like to say spinking. Ken. And Ken. I. This sucks.

[C]

I'm Pat Sajak.

[D]

No, you're Ryan Seacrest now, right?

[C]

Oh, sadly, sadly.

[B]

Ryan Seacrest got another job opportunity. Has anyone said spanking yet?

[A]

Pink.

[D]

No one in the history of the human race has. Now we've said it twice.

[B]

I'm naming my child Spinking.

[C]

Grace Gregging.

[B]

Spinking. That's kind of an old timey blacking.

[C]

Boy, oh, boy.

[A]

I don't know, Santa.

[C]

Can we get a little hint? This is tough. Is this something?

[D]

I mean, there's not many things you can do in a baseball game. You can shoot.

[C]

Oh, thank you.

[D]

You can throw catch.

[C]

You can run, striking catch.

[D]

You can walk. You can.

[B]

Stealing. Teal. Teal. Wow.

[C]

Nice one, James.

[A]

I said turquoise and not teal, so bad day for me.

[B]

Sandy, I have a question.

[D]

Once again, I have been given more evidence to not bring sports into this milieu.

[B]

And this is something that you said earlier when you said there were 64 spinking. And I have a question. Spinking. You said there were 64 colors. Is that how many colors there are according to crayon? Are we talking just box of crown?

[D]

Crayon.

[A]

Crayon.

[B]

I'm from Indiana.

[D]

So am I. Yeah, there's 64. If you name one more. Name a 65th. You can't.

[C]

Burnt sienna.

[D]

Damn it.

[C]

Peach.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Cinnamon bun. Skin tones.

[D]

Cinnamon bun. All right, here's another one. Now they're gonna get a little trickier.

[B]

Sandy, you're from Indiana?

[D]

What? Yes.

[B]

Where in Indiana are you from?

[D]

Carmel, Indiana.

[C]

Whoa. Isn't that where.

[B]

That's why you speak all nice and proper.

[D]

That's right.

[C]

Is that where your dad lives?

[B]

My dad does live there, yeah. Sandy's from the rich part of Indiana.

[C]

So did you two grow up next to each other?

[B]

We probably did, yeah.

[D]

You didn't grow up in Carmel, though?

[B]

No, I didn't grow up in Carmel. My dad lived there. Did you go to Carmel High?

[D]

Yeah. That's the only high school there.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

It's huge. I think it's actually now the biggest or one of the biggest by population in the country.

[B]

Yeah, it truly is. Carmel High is humongous, but a lot of people who live in Carmel go, too. And I want to throw this out there.

[D]

Private school, park tutorial.

[B]

You could go to Park Tutor. You could go to Cathedral.

[D]

I went to Park Tutor for my junior. For my freshman year of high school.

[B]

You could have gone to Cathedral, Sandy. We welcomed Jewish people. We had. Or Buff. You could have any Jesuit. You pick a Jesuit. You could. You could have did their school.

[D]

Okay, I know, I know. I. I lived pretty close to Buff, too, but.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[D]

To Carmel. Yeah. Was assistant editor of the yearbook. The pinnacle. Had a great time.

[B]

Eventually did Carmel. At the point, when you were there, did they have a natatorium?

[C]

I don't.

[D]

I think so. There was so big.

[B]

It was so big, it could have been added later. I remember I had a cousin that went to carnival, and they were talking to me one time about the, like, Olympic swimming pool that they had at their high school, and I was like, wait, what is this? I go to a nice High school.

[D]

You have a swimming pool they went to. They won all the state sports championships every year. Which high school did you go to?

[B]

Cathedral.

[D]

Oh, you did. Okay.

[B]

Catholic.

[A]

You're not Catholic.

[C]

I learned that.

[B]

Nope.

[D]

The other big high school on the north side was North Central.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

And this new movie, one Battle After Another, has a new star named Chase Infinity, who lives in Chicago. She went to North Central. She grew up in Indianapolis.

[B]

Oh, damn. I would have gone to North Central if I had not gone to private school. And I will also say that Chase Infinity is the most made up movie star name I've ever heard.

[D]

It's her real name.

[B]

It's her real middle name.

[D]

Yeah, it's her middle. It's her first name and middle name.

[B]

Yeah. I feel like that's close enough to a made up movie star name if you throw the middle name as the last name.

[A]

Yeah. Love this. Go after that kid. Love that.

[B]

They're 25. They're not a kid. They are 25.

[D]

She is named after a character that Nicole Kidman played in Batman Forever, Chase Meridian.

[A]

Oh, cool.

[D]

And the word infinity.

[C]

But yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

Are you on another puzzle?

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Yes, please.

[D]

All right. Change a letter in the word piper to a number and you'll get a word that means a trailblazer.

[B]

Piper to a number.

[D]

Number spelled out.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And how many numbers could there possibly be?

[D]

64.

[B]

16 tops.

[C]

And what do we get when we change a letter to a number?

[B]

A trailblazer.

[C]

A trailblazer. Is this a sports thing?

[D]

No, it's not a sports thing. Oh, I see what you mean. No, no, no, no, no.

[B]

Py. Three per pyther.

[C]

Pythreaper. No.

[D]

No, it's not. It.

[B]

Okay. PI. Piper. Five.

[D]

This is tricky because the pronunciation of this word changes when you insert it.

[C]

Oh, nine. Pioneer.

[A]

Pioneer.

[C]

Pioniner.

[B]

Pininer.

[D]

You'll get the. You're there. Just. What's the number one?

[B]

Is it not nine PI.

[C]

One near?

[D]

It's PI o' near.

[A]

Oh, of course.

[B]

Oh, that's a absolute mind fuck.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. That's mind fuck.

[B]

Well, Sandy, you fucked our minds so much this episode. Could we have one more just to really finish fucking them?

[D]

Let's go. Let's finish.

[B]

You clip that?

[D]

Yes. How about the word stem? Change one letter to a skin ailment and you'll get a late show host.

[C]

Ooh, this is fun.

[B]

Seth Meyers.

[C]

Ranch.

[B]

Okay, Carson. Johnny Carson. Carcinogenic. Carcinogen. What's the name? We're changing one letter of skin stem.

[C]

Stem, one letter to a Skin to a skin ailment. Is that what you said?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Skin condition.

[D]

I don't know if that's necessarily the right description, but I think you'll get.

[C]

It stem and it's a late psoriasystem. Kimball.

[B]

Stephen Colbert. Stephen. Stephen. Stephen. Stephen Stickin.

[C]

Skin tag.

[A]

Is this person still on the air?

[D]

Yes. Although not as much as they used to be, I guess. Late show. I guess.

[C]

Stuart. John Stuart. Stuart.

[B]

Yes. That's a good hint with not as much as they used to be because he is still doing the same job, just kind of not as much.

[C]

Just on Mondays.

[B]

That's the dream.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Sandy, thank you so much for those. Thank you. Sandy. What else do you have to plug? Where can people find Rattle Quest? I guess there.

[D]

Yeah, you can find it there on the Internet. Radl Quest. R A D D L E Q U E S T. Go there for a new puzzle every day. I also run a company called the Mystery League where I put on team building events. So if that's the kind of thing that you're in charge of hiring for your company, by all means, get in touch mysteryleague.com and I just launched a puzzle hunt with Zach King, the YouTuber and Guy on Instagram who makes magic trick videos. He's running a puzzle hunt that has a ten thousand dollar prize. I helped design the hunt. You can find that@zachking mysteryhunt.com or go to his TikTok, YouTube or Instagram. And other than that, I don't know that's about it.

[C]

Well, let's take the word ti, U, T, I, Y, O U and change the I to a character from King of the Hill.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

And that's what we want to say to you, Sandy. Thank you to Hank you.

[B]

Damn it, Bobby.

[C]

I'll keep kicking the tires on this. Sorry, Sandy.

[B]

Sorry, Sandy.

[A]

Bye bye.

[B]

Wow. Thank you, Sandy. What else do we have to plug? Oh, I will plug. It has been so wonderful to see everyone on our hey, Riddle, Riddle across the Riddleverse tour. We've been selling a lot of our posters. I hope people seem to really enjoy our posters. But you still have, I want to say, three more chances to catch us this year. And that is in Philadelphia at City winery on Tuesday, November 18th. And then we will be in D.C. at the Miracle Theater on November 19th. And then on Sunday the 23rd, we will be back in Brooklyn at the Bell House in Brooklyn. And all of those, you can still get some tickets, I believe that is heyridoridle.com live for all three of those shows. To get tickets. Sorry, the Boston show is sold out. Yeah, and we've really been enjoying seeing people and the shows have been super fun and I think we'll probably end up there was only one that we couldn't get audio for, but the rest of them we'll probably end up selling over on the Patreon a little later in the year. Aaron do you have anything that you would like to plug?

[A]

Just come see us live and then go check out our Patreon. Patreon.com heyriddowriddle we did a Mumbles Month which was a blast and lots of fun stuff happening over there. Adel Anything to plug?

[C]

Yes, please check out our other podcast with Anthony Burch called Gum Chews and Dragons. And then recently I was a guest on two podcasts you can check out now. One is called Cartoon Island. Had a very good time with those folks over there. And then the other one is our friend PG Law who was a guest on Hero before from Survivor. PG Law has a podcast with David Spira from Room Escape artist fame called PG's Playhouse. I was a guest on that recently and it was an absolute blast. Did a lot of puzzles which really fucked the brain and was a very good time. So please check out PG's Playhouse podcast.

[B]

Aaron Something else that fucks the brain is that we are on a little blue rock spinning uncontrollably through an infinite black void.

[A]

What? Jupiter. Jupiter.

[B]

Scary stuff created by Adolf, starring Aaron Keenan and John Patrick Casey. Tony did the editing. Marty Parent in the music created by Emily Cardamus and Emily Naporus hey there. Colton plays if you like that, you are going to love this week's Patreon. We go into the YouTube comments to find some improv inspiration. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com heyriddle Riddle by joining the clue crew for $5 a month or start your 7 day free trial or the review crew for $8 a month. Plus you get those ad free episodes. See you there.

[A]

That was a Hitgum podcast.

[B]

What's going on? It's Lamorne Morris and Hannah Simone and we host the Mess Around a New Girl Rewatch podcast now on Headgum. Now here's the thing. Every single week we chat about an episode of New Girl and we really get into it. Like we get up in there. We get up in there. You know, we reminisce about our times on set. We share behind the scenes tea. We react to rewatching episodes that we haven't seen in years. We talk about how Jake Johnson is dog.

[A]

That's not true. We talk about so many memories we have of working with the biggest stars on the planet. I'm talking Prince, Taylor Swift, Olivia, Rodrigo.

[B]

We're just two BFFs having a good old time.

[D]

Okay?

[B]

Sometimes we even talk to other co stars like Zooey Deschanel, Jake Johnson, Max Greenfield, and Damon Waynes Jr. And your dad. We talked to your dad on this show as well.

[A]

Make sure you subscribe to the Mess around wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes drop every single Tuesday.