#386: Dad ASMR

Summary

Podcast Summary: Hey Riddle Riddle #386: Dad ASMR (Dec 10, 2025)

Episode Overview

In this characteristically chaotic and hilarious episode of Hey Riddle Riddle, hosts Adal Rifai, Erin Keif, and John Patrick Coan (JPC) discuss birthdays, the merits and irritations of riddles, ASMR obsessions, and the quirks of dad behavior. Despite the podcast's riddle-based premise, the team leans heavily into banter, improv scenes, and tangential discussions, using riddles as comedic jumping-off points rather than the main course. The result is an episode that’s as much about the hosts’ personalities and shared history as it is about puzzle-solving.

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Major Discussion Points & Key Moments

1. Birthday Antics and Cake Shenanigans

• [03:32] Birthday Cake Bit: The episode starts with a scene about delivering (and potentially suffocating in) a comically large birthday cake. It quickly devolves into confusion about whose birthday it actually is and a running joke involving John C. Reilly.
  • Quote: "Aaron, could you be happy for me for once?" – JPC [04:30]
  • Tone: Goofy, playful rivalry.

2. Aging, Homeownership, and Snow Shoveling

• [05:13-10:30] The hosts muse about growing older, shoveling snow in Chicago, and the various contraptions (electric shovels, snow blowers) they've begrudgingly acquired or coveted.
  • JPC describes accidentally shoveling snow onto his neighbor's property.
  • Erin’s pointed out that soon she may need their elder Midwestern advice – foreshadowing her own winter woes.
  • Quote: "You are a member of the community." – Erin [07:33]
  • Quote: "If you make it to Maine, you’re gonna be begging us for this knowledge." – JPC [09:43]

3. Is It Time To Drop the Riddles?

• [14:02] Erin semi-seriously proposes they “Spartacus” the Old Man Puzzles segment so no one has to do the riddles.
• Candid meta-discussion about whether the show should keep its riddle focus or fully embrace improv and ridiculousness.
  • JPC admits they've been “angling” toward less riddle content: "The last couple of episodes you’ve been kind of angling for dropping the riddles thing." [14:12]
• New Podcast Names: Proposals include "Stuck in the Riddle with You" and "[groaning noises]".
  • Quote: "If they cared, they’d find a way back." – Erin [16:06]
• Consensus: Keep riddles a few more years, then maybe a full pivot.

4. One-Star Reviews, Community, and Format Changes

• [17:16] They discuss podcast ratings, their swelling audience, and the amusing freaks who leave one-star reviews.
• Talks about borrowing "Threedom’s" model: 50 minutes of banter, 10 minutes of riddles.
• Extended riffing on the show’s identity, their own ambivalence about the riddles themselves, and the importance of listener loyalty.

5. Dunkaroos, Candy, and Childhood Treats

• [20:36] Conversation wanders to Dunkaroos nostalgia, DIY ice cream experiments, and ideal candy mix-ins—drawing on strong food opinions.
  • Erin makes "Dunkaroos ice cream" in a Ninja Creamy.
  • Adal reminisces about the lost Dairy Queen Nerds Blizzard.
  • Quote: “My mommy’s advice is never mix your mammals.” – Adal [22:40]
  • JPC: “I wish this [Heath bar] wasn’t involved in the cookie.” [25:28]

6. ASMR—Dad Style and Beyond

• [52:04] The "Dad ASMR" theme steers discussion toward internet relaxation videos:
  • Erin demonstrates “pretend to brush your hair” ASMR.
  • Adal’s botched attempt: "Okay, don’t move...there's a big spider in there" [53:31].
  • Rapid-fire improv: mermaid sister ASMR; dad reframing of the genre (“weaponized incompetence”).
  • Quote: “Now you're gonna have 40 minutes to take a shit however you want to do it.” – JPC’s Dad ASMR [57:31]
  • Quote: "Nothing like the sounds of weaponized incompetence to soothe you to sleep." – Erin [58:09]

7. Improv Scenes: Snowblowers, Twister, and Tiny Restaurant Conductors

• [11:04+] Several improvised scenes riffing off the random topics or riddle answers:
  • Neighbors passively-aggressively snowblowing onto each other’s property [11:09].
  • Family vacation gone wrong playing Twister with grandpa [36:46].
  • Applebee’s model train conductor fights a child to the death in a riotous, absurd sequence [63:50].

8. Riddles—When They Actually Happen

• [28:28, 49:28, 54:28, 62:14, etc.] Several classic and lateral thinking riddles are peppered in, usually serving as springboards for jokes or groans:
  • Superman riddle (volunteer with uniform = superhero) [28:12].
  • “I get smaller every time I take a bath” (answer: soap), which devolves into jokes about bath sous vide and “JPC soup” [49:28].
  • "A train pulls into a station but none of the passengers move" (answer: it’s a model train) [62:14].

9. Listener Questions and Voicemails

• [68:04] Katie calls asking what to name her three chickens—one dumb, one troublemaker, one bossy.
  • Many naming options: "Salt, Lime, and Tequila" (Erin), "Winifred, Bernard, and Chauncey" (Adal), "JPC, JPC, JPC" (JPC).
  • Philosophical riff: Is there existential humiliation for chickens destined for nuggets or meal-prep?

10. Plugs, Wrap-Up, and Signature Nonsense

• [72:40+] The hosts promote live shows, Patreon content, other projects, and non-corporate holiday gifting.
  • Characteristic last-minute derails: Jupiter donations, hunting JPC for sport.
  • Closing riff: “Nothing to plug, just living in fear. You’ve ruined my life.” – Erin [73:20]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

• “You are a member of the community.” – Erin [07:33]
• “If you make it to Maine, you’re gonna…be begging us for this knowledge.” – JPC [09:43]
• “We Spartacus it. Have we ever tried doing that?” – Erin, about Old Man Puzzles [14:02]
• “If they cared, they’d find a way back.” – Erin, on losing listeners [16:06]
• "My mommy’s advice is never mix your mammals.” – Adal, on mixing Dunkaroos and Teddy Grahams [22:40]
• “Now you're gonna have 40 minutes to take a shit however you want.” – JPC, Dad ASMR [57:31]
• “Weaponized incompetence to soothe you to sleep.” – Erin, Dad ASMR [58:09]
• “My nightmare would be being a part of, like, a fitness guy's meal prep.” – Erin, on chicken fate [72:07]
• "Nothing to plug, just living in fear. You’ve ruined my life." – Erin [73:20]

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Important Segments & Timestamps

| Timestamp | Topic/Segment | |-----------|---------------| | 03:32 | Birthday cake improv, John C. Reilly jokes | | 05:13 | Snow shoveling, homeowner aging | | 14:02 | Old Man Puzzles “Spartacus” proposal | | 15:43 | Meta: Should they drop riddles? New show names | | 20:36 | Dunkaroos/ice cream mix-ins/candy tangent | | 28:12 | Superman riddle (first riddle of show) | | 36:46 | Family Twister scene (vacation meltdown) | | 49:28 | “Bar of soap” riddle, bath routines | | 52:04 | ASMR demonstration/humor | | 57:31 | Dad ASMR parody sequence | | 62:14 | Model train riddle and subsequent miniatures discussion | | 68:04 | Listener voicemail: chicken naming advice | | 72:40 | Plugs, closing insanity |

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Tone, Style & Takeaways

• Language & Tone: Entirely conversational, filled with friendly ribbing, sincere and absurd improv, and a strong sense of shared comedic shorthand. The hosts delight in each others’ digressions, and while riddles provide the structure, the heart of the show is in the digressions and friendship.
• For Non-Listeners: This episode’s plotless, ADHD energy is typical—expect inside jokes, improv, riddle-based frustration, and creative chaos. If you want a podcast “about riddles,” this show is only nominally so; it’s far more about the journey, not the (riddle) destination.
• Memorable Moments: The Dad ASMR routine, Dunkaroos nostalgia, and the “Twister with Grandpa” vacation meltdown are standout goofy highlights.

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Closing Thoughts

Hey Riddle Riddle is, as ever, less about solving logic puzzles and more about riffing, character work, and justifying the existence of a podcast that no longer seems to have anything to do with its premise. “Dad ASMR” is a perfect example of the show embracing its own nonsense, delivering memorable improv and offbeat humor for its loyal listeners.

Transcript

[Aaron Keenan]

This is a headgum podcast.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

I just noticed that the payout for this Uncommon goods ad is $90.

Hardly seems worth it.

[Adol Refy]

What the hell?

[Aaron Keenan]

I got something for this. Last one, please.

Wee oo. Wee ooh. Wee oo. Holiday emergency. I forgot to get everyone gifts.

[Adol Refy]

So, Aaron, here's what I prescribe. Take 10ccs of going to uncommongoods.com Ooh, wait.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Adol do. What's the protocol here? Do I pull over for a holiday emergency? I can't remember if it's wee ew.

[Aaron Keenan]

Wee ew.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

That doesn't sound like a real siren.

[Adol Refy]

I guess we should slow down at least so they can pull up alongside of us.

[Aaron Keenan]

Or Uncommon Goods has something for everyone. From moms and dads, kids and teens, from book lovers and sports fans, to foodies, mixologists, and gardeners, you'll find unforgettable gifts that. That are anything but ordinary.

[Adol Refy]

For sure. Watch the road, please.

[Aaron Keenan]

Of course, yes.

[Adol Refy]

We also know that when you shop at Uncommon Goods, you're supporting artists and small independent businesses. Every purchase is a chance to choose something remarkable and feel good about where your money goes. Right?

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Right.

[Adol Refy]

Jpc. Yeah.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

And with every purchase you make at Uncommon Goods, they give back $1 to a nonprofit partner of your choice. They've donated more than $3.1 million to date. I love searching on Uncommon Goods when I have, like, the vibe of what I want to get for someone, but I don't have, like, a specific thing because I get so much inspiration that, you know, kind of pop up and you're like, oh, this would be perfect for this person.

[Adol Refy]

They have hundreds of things where I'm like, that exists. Well, I want that.

[Aaron Keenan]

So don't wait. Make this holiday the year you give something truly unforgettable. To get 15% off your next gift, go to UncommonGoods.com Riddle that's UncommonGoods.com Riddle for 15% off. Don't miss out on this limited time offer. Uncommon Goods. We're all out of the ordinary.

[Adol Refy]

Okay. Wee oo. Wee oo.

[Aaron Keenan]

We'll see you soon.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Bye, guys.

[Adol Refy]

Thanks for helping. We owe you guys.

[Aaron Keenan]

Thanks for helping me carry my Christmas tree.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Zoe. This thing weighs a ton. Drewski, lift with your legs, man.

[Adol Refy]

Santa.

[Aaron Keenan]

Santa, did you get my letter?

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

He's talking to you, Bridges. I'm not.

[Aaron Keenan]

Of course he did.

[Adol Refy]

Right, Santa, you know my elf Drewski here. He handles the nice list. And elf.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

I'm six' three. What everyone wants is iPhone 17 and at T mobile. You can get it on them that center stage, front camera Is amazing for group selfies. Right, Mrs. Claus?

[Aaron Keenan]

Hi, Mrs. Claus. Claus, much younger sister. And AT T Mobile, there's no trade in needed when you switch. So you can keep your old phone.

[Adol Refy]

Or give it as a gift.

[Aaron Keenan]

And the best part, you can make the switch to T Mobile from your phone in just 15 minutes.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Nice. My side of the tree is slipping. Kimber. The holidays are better. AT T Mobile, switch in just 15 minutes and get iPhone 17 on us with no trade in needed. And now T Mobile is available in US cellular stores with 24 month bill credits for well qualified customers plus tax and $35 device connection charge credits and balance due if you pay off earlier. Cancer financing agreement $830 eligible board in a new line. $100 plus a month plan with auto.

[Adol Refy]

Payments, taxes and fees required.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Check out 15 minutes or less per line.

[Adol Refy]

Visit t mobile.com.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

The doctor was the mother. He stood on a block of ice. Both of them were goldfish. It was the cabin of an airplane. He stabbed him with an ice and the horses named.

You're a riddle riddle.

[Adol Refy]

Okay, gpc, help me roll this cake in. All right, Aaron. Oh, this is John C. Reilly is going to pop. Aaron, we got you a giant cake for your. I mean, I know it's your birthday when we record it. It's not necessarily your birthday when this comes out, but here's a big cake for you to blow out.

[Aaron Keenan]

I know what this looks like. This is a giant cake. Someone's inside this.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Okay.

[Adol Refy]

All right. That's your cue, buddy.

[Aaron Keenan]

Where are the air holes?

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Oh, no.

[Aaron Keenan]

Adol. Where are the air holes?

[Adol Refy]

Oh, no.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Aaron. Aaron, we have to come clean with you.

[Aaron Keenan]

Adol. The air holes. I say, grasping your collar so the kick goes faster.

[Adol Refy]

I forgot.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

We have to come clean. Aaron, this is not your birthday cake. This is. Since this is coming out four days before my birthday, this is my birthday cake. And what I wanted for my birthday is checks the top dead John C. Reilly. So I get what I want for my birthday. And Aaron, could you be happy for me for once?

[Aaron Keenan]

Rolls cake out of the room, rolls it down a hill. All right, I'm still alive. Whatever. Let's just start the episode. It's everyone's birthday, I guess. Casey, Happy birthday. Adol. Happy birthday. Everyone has a birthday.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

No, they're in the summer. It shouldn't. It shouldn't be.

[Adol Refy]

Yeah, ours are both in June.

[Aaron Keenan]

Kate's JPC rolls him out of the room.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Aaron, we love fall boys. We did fall boys.

[Aaron Keenan]

Oh, boy.

[Adol Refy]

How are you feeling? Another year older.

[Aaron Keenan]

Yes. Still alive, huh? Who would have thought? Who would have thought? How's everyone doing? Jpc, Are you caffeinated? Are you ready to record?

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Yeah, for sure.

[Aaron Keenan]

Adol, how are you feeling? Did you stretch? Are you ready?

[Adol Refy]

Oh, no, I didn't stretch. Do you mind if I do that now?

[Aaron Keenan]

Sure.

[Adol Refy]

Okay. That was me getting up to stretch, and now the stretching begins.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

I did my version of my morning stretches, which is waking up and realizing that it snowed, so I have to go out there and shovel. And by morning stretches, I mean shoveling without stretching and then being like, yeah, shoveling does really take it out of the old back, doesn't it?

[Aaron Keenan]

Do you have, like, a fancy shovel? Like, I'm not a homeowner in the Midwest. Like, you guys are. So, like, what's the deal? Do you guys have snowblowers? What are we working with?

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

We don't. We don't. Like, a Chicago sidewalk is, like, not really big enough to, like, warrant a snowblower. There is a guy on my street that has a snowblower, and every time he's out there doing it, he's like, snowblowing half the block. Because I feel like that's the only way to, like, justify having a snowblower in our neighborhood.

[Adol Refy]

There's one guy who has one, and everyone's like, can you come do mine?

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Yeah, I think if you have one. It honestly does not take that much longer to just snow blow everything. But I didn't. I don't have one of those. I. Maybe I've told this on the show before, but I did buy one year, and this is probably a couple years ago, I bought a, like, electric snow shovel. So it's like a snow thrower. It's not like a snow blower, but it's like a shovel. It's like an attachment that you put on and you push it like a shovel, and it just shoots it, like, 10ft in front of the shovel.

[Aaron Keenan]

It seems like a weapon.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Yeah, it's like a weapon, but it only shoots in front of. And so if you're just doing, like, the sidewalk in front of your house, like, it would be great if I had a long driveway to shovel.

[Adol Refy]

Yeah.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Because I could just shoot it out into the street, which is, like, where you want the snow to go. But instead I just shoot it, like, deeper into my neighbor's sidewalk that they'll have to shovel eventually. So I'm like, this is, like, not. This is not a sidewalk shoveling shovel.

[Aaron Keenan]

Also, don't you want to not put the snow on your Your. The street. You want to put it on your lawn so you can drive down the street.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Well, I don't give a shit about my street. Actually. I would prefer if no one was able to drive down my street because then people wouldn't go 100 miles down my street. Like, I. That I don't drive down my street because I have an alley. So, like, my. Me throwing all of the snow at my street would just be like additional, like, snow, you know, barricades, so that people aren't driving like fucking maniacs down my street.

[Aaron Keenan]

You are better for me. You are a member of the community.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Oh, yeah, I'm the terrible member of committee, not the people who are doing 100 miles an hour down a residential road.

[Aaron Keenan]

Sounds like you don't like having fun.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

I would love. I would love to have way more like four or five more speed bumps on my street. And there's already two speed bumps on the street.

I also constantly am hearing people up their cars by driving so fast over the speed bumps and just hearing, like, scrapes from under the car. So I'm like, yeah, well, you know, you live fast, you die hard.

[Aaron Keenan]

You got to be going so slow down those streets. Especially in Chicago, there's kids running everywhere. They're running amok.

[Adol Refy]

You're not on a street that warrants anything over 30.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

No, no, it's not. It's like. It's like a neighborhood Cross Street.

[Aaron Keenan]

30 in an emergency, too.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

It's insane.

[Aaron Keenan]

Like, 30 if your wife is giving birth.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

But no, I just have, like, a blue plastic snow shovel that I use to shovel the snow every time I use it. It's absolute backbreaking work.

[Adol Refy]

We got a nice one that's. It's got, like, an extra handle on the side to make it more, I guess, comfortable. But it's been pretty solid. I do want to get some sort of, like, they have. What is it called? There is some sort of. I don't know if it's a snow thrower, but there's some sort of little machine that I would like to get for my alley because we get snowed in a lot in the back alley to where we can't.

[Aaron Keenan]

Oh, it's like a lawnmower thing where it, like, you push it forward and the snow comes out the side, right?

[Adol Refy]

I believe so, yeah.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Yeah.

[Adol Refy]

They have those little mini lots.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Yeah. Little residential, like snowblowers. But the key is to have the snow come out the side, because if it just shoots the snow in front, it's like it's a useless tool. For most activities. But if it shoots the snow out the side, that's exactly where you want to be.

[Adol Refy]

Yeah. It's a cordless snowblower, 20 inch brushless electric snowblower, directional plate. So you can choose where it shoots.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

That's even better. That's even better.

[Aaron Keenan]

You guys used to be 26 and look at you now, huh?

[Adol Refy]

Now we're choosing where the snow shoes.

[Aaron Keenan]

Yeah, we're.

[Adol Refy]

Wow.

[Aaron Keenan]

Yeah, me too. I'm shoveling snow too.

[Adol Refy]

Where does the time go?

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Looks.

[Adol Refy]

What do you use?

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

I guess if you make it to Maine, you're gonna. This is all gonna be like, you know, knowledge that you're gonna be begging us for.

[Aaron Keenan]

That's really true. You're right. You're right, you're right. I shouldn't tease. I shouldn't tease.

[Adol Refy]

You're gonna have a hung up in your kitchen. You'll have an array of oyster gloves.

[Aaron Keenan]

Yeah.

[Adol Refy]

It's going to be quite the life here.

[Aaron Keenan]

I'm going to be mostly shucking up there.

[Adol Refy]

You did say shucking, right?

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

If I lived in rural Maine though, and it was like, we got like 14 inches of snow, I'd be like, I'm not shoveling. I don't. I didn't want to leave in the first place. That's why I'm in Maine tonight.

[Aaron Keenan]

That's why I'm in rural Maine.

[Adol Refy]

Yeah, I'm in Maine to sit by a fire all day.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Yeah, I'm just going to do that.

[Adol Refy]

Yeah.

[Aaron Keenan]

Yeah. I also don't think I'll be there for so long in the winter, so it would be like.

I'm shoveling four times tops. Yeah, I'm living easy, man.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

I guess so.

[Adol Refy]

Also, I've definitely had days where I look outside and I'm like, I don't know if I can really shovel right now. So I just toss a ton of sidewalk salt, which isn't the same as shoveling. That's more for ice, but it makes little holes.

[Aaron Keenan]

It's doing something.

[Adol Refy]

It's doing something.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

You feel like a sucker also at the beginning of the season when you shovel, because I'm like looking at my weather app and I'm like, like, it's going to be 50 degrees in two days. Can we as a society just agree to not use the sidewalk for two days? No, unfortunately we can't. Kids have to go to school and shit like that.

[Aaron Keenan]

I'd like to see a scene, if you don't mind.

Gpc. You have a new snow blower and it is designed to blow all the snow in your neighbor's yard. And Adel, you are that neighbor.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Hey, morning, neighbor.

[Adol Refy]

Oh, there he is. There's the man.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Yeah, just setting up. Setting up. The new. Probably came out because you saw the. The new snow blower.

[Adol Refy]

Yeah, that is a beaut. What is that, a 50? 57?

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

This is a 57. Yeah. You have a discerning eye.

[Adol Refy]

Yeah, cherry red. You got the white wall tires.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

It's customized. It's a little customized, though. Obviously.

[Adol Refy]

Gorge. Gorge. Tony.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Hey, I'm sure you can see my. My PVC pipe device.

[Adol Refy]

Oh, yeah, Pretty good. Pretty good. The one thing I'm not loving is that you sort of walled me in. My son was out here making a little snowman.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Oh, was that your son?

[Adol Refy]

And now he's walled in like he is a. I don't want to say like a medieval. Medieval king.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Yeah, this is.

[Aaron Keenan]

I think I have 20 minutes left of air.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

I got the fortnite package on this thing, so it's got a system that kind of just builds walls out of the snow. Really? One touch, one button press. It's actually. It's actually not a problem for me.

[Adol Refy]

That is pretty sweet.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

That's pretty sweet.

[Aaron Keenan]

I'm trying to stay calm, but I know it's only 20 minutes left of air, so I'm really breathing kind of heavy.

[Adol Refy]

Okay, Ricky, we're getting to it.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

But 20 minutes, by the way, that's also a lot of air. Kids don't do anything for 20 minutes nowadays. You know what I'm saying?

[Adol Refy]

Sleep, I guess.

[Aaron Keenan]

I guess it was like 20 minutes, but it started kind of like sleep six minutes ago.

[Adol Refy]

Ricky, we got it, okay? The adults are talking.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Okay.

[Adol Refy]

So anyway, I tried to kick the wall down. I know it's packed pretty tight.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Yep, I know. You want to use it? You want to give it a try? Why don't. I said, why don't I do this? I'm already up here. I'll just. I'll just blow your driveway for you, man. It's no problem.

[Adol Refy]

That would. Honestly, that would really smooth things over.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

I can add a couple walls to the fort here. Maybe a couple of roofs.

[Aaron Keenan]

Starting to feel a little light headed.

[Adol Refy]

Ricky, we're bargaining. We're haggling.

[Aaron Keenan]

Should I pray? Should I pray?

[Adol Refy]

We don't believe in God.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Okay, well, then it definitely couldn't hurt. See?

[Adol Refy]

Oh, yeah.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

What is that?

[Adol Refy]

Pascal's wager.

It's not like you're double dipping Pascal's wager where you're.

You might as well just pray to God once at least or something.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

There's a dead God in a box, and whether or not you open the.

[Adol Refy]

Lid of the box, Stronger's God.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Yeah.

[Aaron Keenan]

Guys, you know what we should do? We've never tried it before. We haven't revealed who Old Man Puzzles is yet. We should all say we're Old Man Puzzles so no one can catch us. And we don't have to do riddles. We go like, I'm Old Man Puzzles. We Spartacus it. Have we ever tried doing that?

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

I have a question for you.

[Adol Refy]

I think so.

[Aaron Keenan]

Yep.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

We're getting to the end of 2025. We're going into 2026. It's going to be our 19th year of this podcast.

[Aaron Keenan]

As we go on, we remember all.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

The times the last couple of episodes you've been kind of angling for the dropping the riddles thing. Dropping the riddles thing. Dropping the riddles thing.

[Aaron Keenan]

Have I?

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

It's been a few in a row.

[Aaron Keenan]

Okay.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

I just want to know, do you have an idea for what else you think that you want the show to be?

[Aaron Keenan]

What? To be part of a team. You have to have a good idea. If you don't like the current idea. What? You have to have a pitch if you're going to be a naysayer.

[Adol Refy]

Yeah, like with me in healthcare.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Yeah, like me and with every institution that I have to interact with in my daily life. Yeah, no, you know, yeah, that's an unfair. That's an unfair standard to put on you, Aaron. You don't have to have a pitch. I was just kind of wondering. It's like one of those things where, like, you keep getting haircuts asking for someone to, like, notice the haircut. I didn't know if I. If you wanted me to notice it so that you could say your piece on it.

[Aaron Keenan]

You know, everyone gets haircuts so that someone notices the haircut. That felt loaded with judgment.

[Adol Refy]

Aaron, let me get you a soapbox and a microphone here.

[Aaron Keenan]

So thank you so much.

[Adol Refy]

Well, yeah, go ahead and slips on the soapbox.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Say, oh, right in the head with me. Microphone right in the teeth. Wow.

[Aaron Keenan]

Jpc. What if we keep doing riddles but, like, hey, riddle, Riddle Seems too positive a title for our show, just given how often we are not crazy about riddles. What if we switch to something that ADOL pitched in our pilot? Stuck in the riddle with you.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Stuck in the riddle with you. And how. Okay, so how would stuck in the riddle with you be different? Or would it be different?

[Aaron Keenan]

It is three originally Chicago improvisers doing puzzles, riddles, Lateral thinking problems and using those riddles as a jumping off point to do scenes.

[Adol Refy]

Okay. And this is also a good way to confuse and lose 30% of our audience.

[Aaron Keenan]

Great.

[Adol Refy]

In terms of not being.

[Aaron Keenan]

And if they cared, they'd find a way back.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Can I have a pitch? And we just. We changed the name from, hey, Riddle. Riddle. But you're right, it's too positive on riddles. And we change it to, like, a name that I think more reflects our feelings on riddles.

[Aaron Keenan]

Aaron. Yeah.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

All right, here's my pitch for the name.

So that's. It's like. It's kind of like. That's really how we feel.

[Aaron Keenan]

Spell it.

[Adol Refy]

A R G, G, H, H, H, R, G, G, H, H, H, H, H, G, H, H, H. And find.

[Aaron Keenan]

Us wherever you listen to the podcast.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

We keep our same amount of reviews too. So people are like, how does this fucking show have 1500 goddamn reviews?

[Aaron Keenan]

No, I want to do riddles a few more years and then we'll pivot.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Okay.

[Adol Refy]

I think Kathy famously says ack. And I think Aaron famously says jpc.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Oh. Oh, she got it. She helped me.

[Adol Refy]

God, that's probably more akin to what Cathy sounds like versus ack.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Yeah, Acab. I was looking at our ratings, and we actually have 3200. I said 1500. We have double that. That's actually pretty cool.

[Aaron Keenan]

How many of them are one star?

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Aaron, let's not dwell on how many of them are one star.

[Aaron Keenan]

How many of them are two stars?

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

There are a few that are two star, which is always interesting to me. But the thing about the one star ones are very few one star reviews are. They're just ratings. They're not like written reviews. So very few. Like, sometimes people give us one star and they don't leave any feedback. And I'm like, okay, fine, not for you. But the ones that leave feedback are the ones that are the funniest ones to me. But I don't give them any space on the show because I don't want to encourage people to leave one star funny reviews.

[Adol Refy]

What if we kind of did what freedom does and we talk and do bits for 50 minutes, and then the last 10 minutes we do two riddles.

[Aaron Keenan]

I love it. Okay.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

We just. We reverse, we flip it, and we just do. We just do only riddles in the last, like, ten minutes. Okay. Yeah, that's fun. That's at least fun to try one time and see how people like it.

[Aaron Keenan]

And we record at Scott's house.

[Adol Refy]

Okay, that sounds fun.

[Aaron Keenan]

Yeah, why not?

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

He's got a pool, right? That Sounds pretty cool. Can we stay in? Can we be in the pool after, or do we have to?

[Aaron Keenan]

One time I looked so crazy, I did a comedy Bang Bang. And after, there was a coyote right outside. And I was like, look at coyote. But no one else saw it. And so I looked kind of crazy. Oh, I was pretty embarrassed.

[Adol Refy]

Was the coyote kind of laughing at the whole situation?

[Aaron Keenan]

Yeah, the coyote also crushed it on comedy.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Was the coyote in the pool as well? Big sunglasses, white spot of sunscreen on the nose.

[Aaron Keenan]

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, classic LA stuff.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Yeah, classic Coyote by the beach complaining.

[Aaron Keenan]

So Adol, should we try this out today? 50 minutes of just chatting and doing things and hanging out, and then we'll do some riddles.

[Adol Refy]

Jpc, it's almost your birthday. You make the call.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Well, hey, don't put that even on me.

All right?

[Aaron Keenan]

Casey, you make the call. Casey, you take the shot.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

I don't want to be blamed for this. This isn't my episode. I'll happily be blamed for this if I'm Old Man Puzzle for this show.

[Aaron Keenan]

Okay, Casey says cancel the show.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

All right.

[Aaron Keenan]

This has been three.

Oh, brother. All right, okay. I'm not Old Man Puzzles, though. This gives Old Man Puzzles.

[Adol Refy]

I'm not Old Man Puzzles.

[Aaron Keenan]

I'm not Old Man Puzzles.

[Adol Refy]

Break his idea. I'm not Old Man Puzzles.

[Aaron Keenan]

Gbc, do the thing.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Okay, well, and now it makes it seem like I am Old Man Puzzles. I'm the last person to say, well, I'm not Old Man Puzzles.

[Aaron Keenan]

I mean, well, I'm not either. Neither is at all.

[Adol Refy]

I'm truly not either.

[Aaron Keenan]

Welcome to who the fuck is Old Man Puzzles? The three of us, we can solve it.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

I was Old Man Puzzles last episode. That's just a matter of law.

[Aaron Keenan]

It seems like I was last episode.

[Adol Refy]

Every episode we try and suss out who the host is. And if we figure it out in the last five minutes, we do a riddle. Yeah, guys, we solved it. We did it.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

I can be Old Man Puzzles. But we're going back to that orange book, and those were riddles that you guys absolutely hated. But it's the only thing on my desk, so if we. If we have to. I can step in.

[Aaron Keenan]

I have. Let me see. I have access to.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

To.

[Aaron Keenan]

Hold on.

I have these 30 second mysteries that a listener gave me at a live show this year on our tour in Mystery Grams. So we all have access to riddles.

[Adol Refy]

And Aaron, Mystery Grams are sort of the Bernie Botts's every flavor beans, but for graham cracker.

[Aaron Keenan]

Some of these taste like pee.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Hey, Aaron, Speaking of things tasting like pee, I don't think we ever got a on mic review of it. But how did you like those birthday Dunkaroos? Did they. Did they taste like your childhood?

[Aaron Keenan]

So good. I don't. They have like you. You have to get Dunkaroos.

[Adol Refy]

I've had them.

[Aaron Keenan]

I know, but I'm just recently. Have you had them recently?

[Adol Refy]

No, it's been a while.

[Aaron Keenan]

Yeah. Like you guys are both dessert people. You like a sweet I made.

I used my Ninja Creamy with the Dunkaroos and made like a little ice cream. Dunkaroos ice cream with it. Unbelievable. I also turned one into a milkshake. Unbelievable. Unbelievable.

[Adol Refy]

One into a milkshake.

[Aaron Keenan]

Are you just.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Would you burn a wish on that?

[Aaron Keenan]

They said, do you want to wish for more wishes or a billion dollars?

[Adol Refy]

It sounds like what a witch says about like a monkey.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

I turned one into a milkshake.

[Aaron Keenan]

I turned one into a milkshake. I. Yeah, well, they were like, do you want world peace or do you want a Dunkaroo milkshake? You just, you like break up the dunk roos into little pieces and then you make. In your blender you make a little milkshake and so there's like tiny little pieces of Dunkaroos.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Oh.

[Adol Refy]

Like it's almost like a Dairy Queen trademark.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Yeah. Like a mix in for like a dq. So. But did you just try the Dunkaroos by themselves? Like just have a Dunkiro. Dunk the cookie, eat the cream. Yeah, that and it was. It was good. It was better than you remember or.

[Aaron Keenan]

It was better and I had some last night. It was great. It's so good. I do think that the ratio is a little bit off. I think there could be more frosting.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Transflation.

[Aaron Keenan]

Exactly. I was like, I just think that there needs to be a little bit more frosting. For how many little.

[Adol Refy]

It's a tiny pocket if I remember.

[Aaron Keenan]

Yeah. Honestly, I'd say switch to that ratio. Other side is all frosting. I only need like five of the cookies.

[Adol Refy]

Would Teddy Graham's be good to dip into a Dunkaroo and then that's mixing your. Your mammals.

[Aaron Keenan]

Yeah. I mean, is that illegal? Oh, that's suddenly illegal.

[Adol Refy]

I feel like mommy's little advice is never mix your mammals. But I remember Teddy Grahams being very good.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

If you're going to dunk a Teddy Graham and Dunkaroo sauce, then you're going to have to take one of those Dunkaroos and put it in honey. Because turnabout is fair play.

[Aaron Keenan]

I don't know how good that would be, though.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Well, it doesn't matter. It's fair.

It's like Two Face says.

[Adol Refy]

And I took my Ninja Creamy and I made Big League Chew ice cream, and I don't want to talk about it.

[Aaron Keenan]

Yeah, that sounds scary.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

That gave me a stomach ache just hearing about it.

[Aaron Keenan]

Gum ice cream sounds like the most stressful experience. Can you imagine, like, being on mushrooms and someone gives you gum ice cream and you're like, oh, God.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

I've seen bubblegum flavor ice cream at ice cream stores before, and I'll be honest with you, I've never even asked for a free sample of that. I don't want to. I don't have. I don't have any interest in fucking gun.

[Aaron Keenan]

I don't like bubblegum.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Bubblegum flavored ice cream.

[Aaron Keenan]

I also don't love cotton candy flavored ice cream, even though it's gorgeous.

[Adol Refy]

It's too much.

[Aaron Keenan]

Oh, it's beautiful.

[Adol Refy]

In Greece, I had. Recently, I had mastic ice cream, which is some of the best ice cream I've had. They add, I guess, mastic to it, which makes it, like, chewy and kind of stringy and it is so freaking good.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

And mastic is a type of dog. Correct? It's like a big dog.

[Adol Refy]

There's a bull mastic. Yeah, there's different types of mastic, but they're.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

They're pretty harmful. Vegetarian. But it's. If the dog isn't harmed, then it's fine. But if the dog isn't harmed, I'm like, what part of the dog is the mastic that they're putting in the ice cream?

[Adol Refy]

They turn it into a milkshake.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Okay.

[Adol Refy]

And then into mastic.

[Aaron Keenan]

Give it a shot.

[Adol Refy]

What? Candy? What? With our ninja creamies.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Okay.

[Adol Refy]

What would be a good candy add in that? I think that's not the first 20 listed.

[Aaron Keenan]

Oh, that's what you mean.

[Adol Refy]

Like, I remember growing up, Dairy Queen used to have nerd blizzards, and I absolutely adored them. Then they stopped making them. But if you take nerds to Dairy Queen, they will turn that into a blizzard for you. Whoa.

[Aaron Keenan]

Really?

[Adol Refy]

Because my sister did that for me for my 35th birthday or something.

[Aaron Keenan]

Like, I can bring a bunch of leaves to Dairy Quinn and be like, mix it in, mix it, nerds leaves.

[Adol Refy]

They're not your hostages. They will refuse some requests.

[Aaron Keenan]

I don't know why this was the first thing to pop into my brain, but Mike and Ike's, I feel like, would be good.

[Adol Refy]

That'd be fun. Or like, that'd have some chewiness to it. Milk cuts if they got too hard. There's some candy. I wonder if it gets, like, cold, if that's sort of impenetrable.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

A couple years ago, I had a friend made cookies for, like, a holiday party, and I asked for the recipe, and the recipe had heath bits in them. And I'm like, heath. Heath is like a toffee candy. But I'm like, I have. I don't remember the last time I've had heath. But the cookies were great. And so I bought some heath and made it myself. And every time after I knew that it was heath, every time I tasted it, I was like, I wish this wasn't involved in the cookie. I wish I had just left this. I'm not a toffee fan. I just don't. I don't like toffee.

[Adol Refy]

Toffee's so good. I feel like a soft maple cookie would be good. Or snow caps might be fun. Ooh.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

You know what I always think I'm going to love? Because it's an intersection of two things I very much enjoy is like, an espresso or coffee mix in with, like, ice cream. I'm always like. Or back when I was drinking, like, an espresso martini, I'm like, yeah. Oh, I'm going to love this. This is going to be exactly my shit. And every time I have it, without fail, I'm like, I like the both separately. I do not like them together. It's just tastes that I don't need to be blended together.

[Adol Refy]

I never mix my coffee addiction with my booze. Like, I love coffee so much in the morning that I think if I started having, like, alcoholic coffee flavor, I think it would be sort of turn.

[Aaron Keenan]

Me off the road.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Yeah. It's like, I'm not going to put aioli on porno, you know?

[Aaron Keenan]

Yeah.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

These things I have to enjoy separately.

[Aaron Keenan]

Do you. Are there any, like, waffley mapley ice creams that you like?

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

No, I'm not a big. I'm not a big mapley fan when it comes to ice cream. And by the same token, I don't like.

My preference is never for, like, an Italian ice. I'm not. I don't like the. That, like, flavor ice that, like, I like my ice cream or gelato to be, like, kind of just like, chocolatey or. I guess I like a fruity ice cream. As long as it's not, like, an Italian ice. Like, I fuck around if I'm getting a sundae or something. I'LL put a scoop of strawberry in there for sure. But I don't want. I don't want. I would not just have a cone of strawberry ice cream. I would never do that.

[Aaron Keenan]

Huh?

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

The strawberry has to be covered in whipped cream, chocolate, and crushed nuts.

[Aaron Keenan]

I'm old man puzzles and can you believe I've made it this far?

[Adol Refy]

Whoa.

[Aaron Keenan]

Say it.

[Adol Refy]

And I'm old man puzzles and I'll say the best ice cream I've had recently was in Vermont. They do maple creamies, which is like maple soft serve, and then they add in crunchy maple bits and it's an.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Embarrassment of riches at the end of the day. Who are we kidding? This episode's coming out in December. Nobody's listened to it. Nobody listens to podcasts in the last month of the year. It is 100% proven. And by that I mean we do have the data on.

Is a steep drop off in what people are listening to at this part of the year.

[Adol Refy]

Oh, you know what's a really good ice cream flavor is.

If you add in like a sold out theater show, a snowball and a suitcase.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

This is a riddle. He's giving us a goddamn riddle.

[Aaron Keenan]

I'm old man puzzles. This is a 30 second mystery. A man with a desk job habitually responds to emergencies. He provides his own uniform and performs these civic deeds entirely on a volunteer basis. Gbc. Rita Riddle reader. Riddle. Gbc. Rita Riddle.

[Adol Refy]

He's Superman.

[Aaron Keenan]

He is Superman.

[Adol Refy]

Is it really Riddle?

[Aaron Keenan]

Yeah. Gbc.

[Adol Refy]

Ready?

[Aaron Keenan]

Riddle. Gbc.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

I just got a text from my wife and it says omfg. Spaghetti just yacked on my rug.

[Aaron Keenan]

That's not a riddle.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

It's a thick pile rug too. It's not the kind of rug you want to clean.

[Aaron Keenan]

Dog.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Yakov.

[Adol Refy]

I'm going to say she got into the pumpkin pie.

[Aaron Keenan]

I'm going to say Superman.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Yeah, it was Superman. The answer was Superman. Or whatever.

[Aaron Keenan]

Or whatever. Jpc. You read it. Now you read your riddle.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

I was looking at these earlier. You guys aren't gonna like this. I'll read it.

[Aaron Keenan]

Read one.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Okay. Four letters for bulletin board fastener. Five letters for operate a vehicle. Three letters for blank and peace.

[Adol Refy]

Tac, Gas.

[Aaron Keenan]

War.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

You got war. And five letters for grass color.

[Adol Refy]

Green.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Yep.

[Adol Refy]

Gas. Green.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

It's not gas. It's four letters for bulletin board fastener.

[Adol Refy]

Tack.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Not tack.

[Adol Refy]

Push.

[Aaron Keenan]

Nail.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

You guys wanted me to read this? I told you I didn't want to read this.

[Adol Refy]

Well, now we're invested.

[Aaron Keenan]

Yeah, well, now we care so, so much.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

War.

You said tac, right? Adol yeah, like a tac war and green.

[Adol Refy]

Oh, that is right.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Yes. Okay, did anyone get Operate a vehicle. Five for Operate a vehicle.

[Adol Refy]

Drive, Drive, Drive. Tack.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Okay, great. Oh, now take the first letter of the first one, the middle letter of the second one, the middle letter of the.

Third one and the middle or the last letter of the last one.

[Adol Refy]

E, A, A, N, Pan.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

It should be.

[Adol Refy]

Taam.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

No, Interesting. This is. It wants you to do a five letter word, but it's really only asking for four. It's only giving you four letters. So are you just. You have to add your own for the fifth letter. This riddle book is fucking confusing.

[Adol Refy]

Is that from the orange book?

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

It's from the orange book, yeah. And also it's telling me that one of the grass colors, the grass color is green. And it says take the last letter of that which is in, but in is not in the solution.

[Adol Refy]

So maybe I've heard rumor that in like the 50s and 60s, they made riddle books to drive women insane.

[Aaron Keenan]

Is this one of those. Is this one of those books? Is this one of those books?

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

I guess so. It's kind of driving me insane. I don't understand what it's asking for. The answer is thumb.

[Aaron Keenan]

Excuse me? Oh, like a thumb. Tack.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Oh, oh, oh.

No, because tack is just the first one.

[Aaron Keenan]

Excuse me.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Tack. Drive. War in green. Oh, are these. Oh, these are all things. Oh, I'm sorry. It's not asking for letters. These are all just things that have to do with thumb.

[Adol Refy]

Green thumb. Thumb.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

War. Thumb. Drive.

[Adol Refy]

Thumb.

[Aaron Keenan]

Adel, can you admit your old man puzzles now and fix green thumb? Adel, can you fix this please?

[Adol Refy]

Aaron? No, it's okay.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

It's written very confusing. It looks like there's like a diagram where arrows are coming from certain letters to form a word. But it's all words that have to do with thumb. Okay, I get it.

[Adol Refy]

I like that. Now that I know what it is, I am old man puzzles. Hey, how about that rips off mask. Realizes it's just my.

[Aaron Keenan]

I'm not wearing a mask covered in blood. Uh oh.

[Adol Refy]

Actually came off pretty clean.

We're gonna do some trios to warm up a sold out theater. A snowball and a suitcase all have something in common. What do those three things have in common? A sold out theater show, a snowball and a suitcase.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Packed.

[Adol Refy]

They're all packed. Wow. I do wanna see a scene.

[Aaron Keenan]

Can't believe I got it.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

You got that fast?

[Adol Refy]

I want to see a scene. Jpc, you are a performer in a sold out theater show. And Aaron you are someone in the audience who can't believe just how many people are at this show vocally.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

And I'm on stage.

[Adol Refy]

You're on stage performing? Yep.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

All right, everybody, I know my jokes aren't really landing, but Shane Gillis isn't ready yet, so I.

[Aaron Keenan]

Excuse me.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Sorry, I have to keep. I have to keep going.

[Aaron Keenan]

Sorry, Excuse me. Sorry.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Oh, I don't do crowd work either, so I appreciate anyone who's trying to.

[Aaron Keenan]

My seat, it's right in the middle of the row and everyone's not really moving their legs.

My seat's right there in the middle.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

I just. I don't have any material for this, so I just have to keep doing my act. I guess I'll just say, could everyone move to let that person into their seat?

[Aaron Keenan]

I'm seat 18, so I'm right there in the middle.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Does she have a mic? How is. How is. How is she louder than me? I'm single. I'm E12.

[Adol Refy]

Does that help?

E12?

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Oh, no. Okay. No.

[Adol Refy]

Are you Daphne?

[Aaron Keenan]

I am.

[Adol Refy]

Are you Sarah's cousin?

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Shane Gillis just started another Marvel Snap, so I have to keep going a little longer actually.

[Aaron Keenan]

Oh, my God. Greg.

[Adol Refy]

Yes. Hey.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Hi.

[Adol Refy]

How are you?

[Aaron Keenan]

I didn't know you liked stand up comedy.

[Adol Refy]

Well, we got free tickets through the company if you.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

If.

Oh, you ever given a blowjob and the dick smell nasty? Did I already do this one?

[Aaron Keenan]

Should I go to the bathroom while this guy does his? I really want to see Shane.

[Adol Refy]

Yeah, I'd wait for Shane.

[Aaron Keenan]

I like that he says stuff that's right on the edge.

[Adol Refy]

Well, and he did do Riyadh.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Can anyone relate to the thing I said about you give a bulletjob in the dicks Bill nasty?

[Adol Refy]

Me?

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Not specifically you, sir, but if. I mean you. Yes. Do you. Has it ever happened to you at all or.

[Aaron Keenan]

Oh, you know what? I'm DE18. Goodness gracious. I just made all these people move their legs for nothing. Hold on.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

I'm dating. I'm dating a woman who hates my guts because they don't wash my dick.

[Aaron Keenan]

You guys know what I'm just thinking about?

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

I'm trying to reverse engineer the joke and it's just, like, not working at all.

[Aaron Keenan]

Do you guys ever give a blowjob in the. And the dick smells nasty. Wait, wait.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

No, no, no.

They're lowering my mic. They're lowering my mic and they're raising her.

[Aaron Keenan]

Come on, y'.

[Adol Refy]

All.

[Aaron Keenan]

You ever go to a stand up comedy and then you go in the wrong row and then you feel embarrassed.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

He started another game. Just tell them to stop. You can just go back to it. It's not like it's.

[Aaron Keenan]

Ugh. And that's gonna go viral.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

I hope Shane Gillis hears that. And I hope he plays Marvel's Snap.

[Aaron Keenan]

And I hope you dance.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

And I hope you dance.

[Adol Refy]

If theaters had the ability to just raise a microphone at any seat, I think the world would be a worse off place.

[Aaron Keenan]

Oh, for sure. Certainly, certainly, certainly.

[Adol Refy]

These three things have something in common. Milton Bradley Games, the Wizard of Oz. A list of 1996's top grossing films.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

1996?

[Adol Refy]

Yep. Milton Bradley Games, the Wizard of Oz. A list of 1996's top grossing films.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

What do we know about 96? Aaron, Armageddon, Deep Impact.

[Aaron Keenan]

Jurassic park was before that, right?

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Maybe 97 or 94. You know what? I'll never be able to know. What year 1996 films is it Adult? Does this have to do with the title of a big hit movie from 1996?

[Adol Refy]

Oh, yeah.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Okay, so they all feature Jerry Maguire's.

[Adol Refy]

Was Jerry Maguire in the wizard of Oz?

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

There was a little man in the wizard of Oz. And there was a little man in Jerry Maguire.

[Aaron Keenan]

What is something so something in the wizard of Oz.

[Adol Refy]

Yes.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

And I met Jonathan Lipnicki. I didn't mean Tom Cruise, who's five' four. I'm not shaming the short kings out there. I met Jonathan Lipnicki.

[Aaron Keenan]

Tornado, Twister.

[Adol Refy]

Aaron. Twisters.

[Aaron Keenan]

Cause it's Twister the game.

[Adol Refy]

Milton Bradley has Twister the game, obviously. Tornado or Twister. And wizard of Oz. And then Twister was one of the top grossing films of 1996.

[Aaron Keenan]

I would like to see a quick scene. You guys are playing a game of Twister. It's like a week into a family vacation, and tensions are running really high already. And I'll be the one reading the Twister instructions. Okay? Right hand red.

Right hand red. And just make sure you don't fall before we play.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Can we, like, dry off? Because we just got out of the lake. I feel like this is, like, I got to pick.

[Aaron Keenan]

You said I got to pick the next activity, and the next activity wasn't.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Drying off soaking wet. Playing Twister with me.

[Adol Refy]

Right hand red. I've got one right here.

[Aaron Keenan]

Okay.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Yeah, Easy. Separate sides of the board. Right hand red.

[Aaron Keenan]

Okay. Left leg. Not even foot because I'm acting crazy blue.

[Adol Refy]

Well, that's not gonna work. That's not gonna. Grandpa's gonna be doing the splits here. What are we doing?

[Aaron Keenan]

I guess you're gonna have To. I don't know, make it work.

[Adol Refy]

The fuck?

[Aaron Keenan]

Guess you're gonna have to go ahead and make it work.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Grandpa's definitely playing.

He's not talking.

[Aaron Keenan]

Grandpa.

[Adol Refy]

Grandpa.

[Aaron Keenan]

Grandpa.

[Adol Refy]

Well, he is sprawled out.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

I think he's sleeping.

[Adol Refy]

His right hand is on red and his leg is on blue.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

So are you just saying the things that Grandpa's already doing?

[Aaron Keenan]

All right, where is you? Call 911. I'm an EMT. I'm here to help.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Where do I put my hand? What?

[Aaron Keenan]

I'm an emt. I'm an emt. I've just come in here. You just got. You call 911.

[Adol Refy]

Okay. You have to put your right hand on red and your left leg on blue.

[Aaron Keenan]

Guys, I do not have time to. That's way too hard.

[Adol Refy]

Who's gonna be able to do that?

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

That's what we're saying.

[Adol Refy]

That's what we're saying.

[Aaron Keenan]

That's impossible.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Brenda. Blue.

[Adol Refy]

We're stuck. Let me try two moves and we're stuck.

[Aaron Keenan]

Oh.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Oh, my back. Call 911.

[Adol Refy]

Oh, no.

[Aaron Keenan]

Call 911.

[Adol Refy]

You're 911.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Call the EMT. He's right on top of Grandpa. We're gonna have an EMT sandwich scene.

[Aaron Keenan]

Perfect. Hey, guys. Perfect.

[Adol Refy]

Perfect.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

No notes.

[Aaron Keenan]

Should we go on a break?

[Adol Refy]

Let's take a little break to celebrate.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Okay?

Yeah.

[Adol Refy]

Yeah, yeah.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Yeah. I don't know what's going on, but.

[Aaron Keenan]

My money is just disappearing every month. I don't know where it goes. I don't know what's going on. I don't know if it's subscriptions that I've done. I don't know. I don't know. Where's it going?

[Adol Refy]

Where's it going? You've. You've signed up for a lot of stuff that you didn't keep up with, Aaron. You should get Rocket Money. And honestly, that's not a secret.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

I don't.

[Adol Refy]

I don't have to say that in hush voice. I'm loud and proud about Rocket Money. Go get. Get Rocket Money.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Yeah, Aaron. So Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings.

[Aaron Keenan]

If you've got a goal you'd like to save for, Rocket Money can analyze your accounts and find the best time each month to put extra money aside. I'm doing that right now for a down payment of something I want to get. And it's amazing. And they send me little notifications every time they do it. Incredibly helpful.

[Adol Refy]

And Rocket Money has saved users over 2.5 billion billion. Aaron. Including over $880 million in canceled subscriptions alone. Their 10 million members save up to $740 a year when they use all the app's premium features. Aaron. $740 a year. That's enough to buy yourself like, I don't know, like a big wooden hat or something.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

And Aaron, I know that you told me in private and said don't mention it on the show that you sometimes feel weird about calling up companies directly to negotiate your bills because of the names of the company and you don't want to say them out loud because it's kind of shows what it is that you like and what you buy. But Rocket Money will try to negotiate lower bills for you. The app automatically scans your bill to find opportunities to save and then goes to work to get you better deals. They'll even talk to customer service so you don't have to.

[Adol Refy]

Aaron, you're giving $30 a month to Fartwater.

[Aaron Keenan]

Yeah.

Yes. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney.com Riddle today. That's RocketMoney.com Riddle RocketMoney.com Riddle R I.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

D D L E Fartwater H2O Dear no.

[Aaron Keenan]

I mean, yes, but also no.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Adol Aaron. Oh, I've got a problem.

[Adol Refy]

Oh, I have.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

How can we help literally, literally hundreds of cousins.

[Aaron Keenan]

Huh? Okay.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

I don't know what I'm gonna get these cousins of mine.

[Adol Refy]

Okay. Sounds like a positive nod.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Oh.

[Adol Refy]

Oh. For any family member, any friend, truly anyone in your life.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Huh?

[Adol Refy]

Jbc. Aura frames.

[Aaron Keenan]

Yeah, you gotta go Aura frames.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Oh, Aura frames. Something that all of my literally hundreds of cousins can agree on.

[Aaron Keenan]

Gpc. It's easy peasy. Upload unlimited photos and videos. Just download the Aura app and connect to WI Fi. And then all of the photos and videos just stream on the frame. And the quality is incredible. They're gonna freak for it. Cousins love it.

[Adol Refy]

And here's a special little sprinkle of special salt you can put on the gift. You can preload photos before it ships. Jpc, meaning you can take a photo of you and each one of your literally hundreds of cousins and introduce that into the frame so that when they open it and set it up, that'll pop up for them.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Plus, you can personalize your GIF by adding a message before it arrives. You can say dear cousin, and then you can just type any three digit number and it's going to be one of your literally hundreds of cousins.

[Aaron Keenan]

Jpc. You have literally hundreds of cousins? Yes, and gift wrapping would be a nightmare for that. So the gift box is included. Every frame comes packaged in a premium gift box with no price tags, so you don't have to worry about it.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

I love Aura frames. I've given them to all of the family members that I love more than my cousins already. So now it's time to start working through my literally hundreds of cousins. And for a limited time, you can save on the perfect gift by visiting auraframes.com to get $35 off Aura's best selling carving matte frames named number one by Wirecutter by using promo code RIDDLE at checkout. That's a U R A frames.com promo code RIDDLE. This deal is exclusive to listeners, and frames sell out fast, so order yours now to get it in time for the holidays. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply.

[Adol Refy]

Cousin.

[Aaron Keenan]

Cousin.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Literally hundreds of cousins.

[Aaron Keenan]

Knock, knock, knock. Hey, small business owners.

[Adol Refy]

Oh, we were closed, but come on in.

[Aaron Keenan]

Hey, let's talk about how Found can help wrangle your finances once and for all.

[Adol Refy]

Okay. Are you robbing me or.

[Aaron Keenan]

No, no, no, no. When was the last time you felt like you had your business finances totally under control?

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Never.

[Adol Refy]

Never had it.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Never.

[Aaron Keenan]

Exactly. Every expense categorized, every receipt tracked, every invoice sent. Oh, and you were prepared for taxes season. You're both shaking your head no. You've never experienced that.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Not that.

[Aaron Keenan]

Yeah, I'm right On time. I'm Mrs. Found.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Wait, I've heard about this. Found eliminates the clutter by giving you one platform that handles it all. Banking, bookkeeping, invoices and taxes. No more paying for multiple subscriptions and dealing with clunky, outdated apps. That's found, right?

[Aaron Keenan]

Yeah. I mean, I have a cape for this. My job's pretty easy. I just have to let people know how Found is reimagining what business banking should be by putting your bookkeeping, invoicing, and tax tools directly into your business checking account.

[Adol Refy]

Oh, yeah, they automated things like tracking expenses, finding write offs, and budgeting for tax time. You can even send invoices for free and pay your contractors. Everything all from one app, right?

[Aaron Keenan]

Mm.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Well, the cape really does explain it all. I mean, I love found. It makes paying contractors really easy. So whenever we hire someone for some of our great. Hey, Riddle. Riddle Merch that you can get in our merch store, it's a breeze to get our contractors paid and get great, high quality art products to you guys.

[Adol Refy]

Well, lady, I'm glad we found you.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

The apple that's good in Casey that stays in.

[Aaron Keenan]

Take control of your business today. Open a Found account for [e-mail] that's found. F o u n d dot com. Found is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking services are provided by LED bank member fdic. Join the hundreds of thousands who have already streamlined their finances with foundation. Do you guys want to watch me run really fast with my cape on?

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

No, just leave the cape.

[Aaron Keenan]

Whee. Here's the cape. And I will fold it nice for you.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

It's funny, I'm always thinking about it this time of year, but I'm not as young as I once was. But I care a lot about maintaining my physical and mental wellness. Which means Cornbread Hemp's CBD gummies are a huge piece of my wellness plan. It's so funny, I have no idea why it gets to be this time of year. And I'm thinking about how I'm not as young as I once was.

[Adol Refy]

Oh, Same girl?

[Aaron Keenan]

Same.

[Adol Refy]

But also jpc, your birthday's in December.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Okay, that makes sense.

[Adol Refy]

Well, jpc, someone left something under the tree called Cornbread Hemp CBD gummies. Have you heard of these? You've seen these?

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Uh huh. Yes, I have.

[Adol Refy]

They're made to help you feel better, whether it's stress, discomfort, the encroaching clock.

[Aaron Keenan]

Of aging, or relaxation.

[Adol Refy]

Relaxation. I use Cornbread hemp, CBD and gpc. Let me just say, toss one in my mouth, I chew it, I swallow it, and suddenly I'm at peace. And I'm old as hell.

[Aaron Keenan]

All products are third party lab tested in USDA organic to ensure safety and purity. So you can relax. Relax.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Okay. You guys might be onto something with this. Cornbread cbd.

[Adol Refy]

John Travolta.

[Aaron Keenan]

John Travolta cbd. That's awesome.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

And right now. Hey, Riddle. Riddle. Listeners can save 30% on their first order. Just head to cornbreadhemp.com riddle and use code RIDDLE at checkout. That's cornbreadhemp.com RIDDLE and use code riddle.

[Adol Refy]

Ah. Age is nothing but a number. A number of years. I've been on Earth.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Years are also nothing but physical manifestations of time passing.

[Adol Refy]

I feel okay.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

I feel okay.

[Adol Refy]

Aaron and jpc.

[Aaron Keenan]

Yes.

[Adol Refy]

Happy belated birthday, Aaron. Happy early birthday, jpc.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Thank you.

[Aaron Keenan]

Thank you.

[Adol Refy]

John C. Reilly is dead.

[Aaron Keenan]

Yep.

[Adol Refy]

But I did find some Schrodinger's John C. Reilly. What was it?

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Schrodinger's John C. Reilly.

[Adol Refy]

Yeah. If he stays in that Cake.

[Aaron Keenan]

We'll never know.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

We'll never know.

[Adol Refy]

Dr. Steve Bruhl. I have some full on riddles here if we're ready for those.

[Aaron Keenan]

I'm so excited.

[Adol Refy]

Pivot.

[Aaron Keenan]

Better attitude this time.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

My wife is still texting me about the dog. Yak in the carpet. All cats. Disgusting.

[Aaron Keenan]

Your job. Seriously? Kind of feels like she thinks this place is one big joke and that we can just be talking about dog throw up all day.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

It's. It's so funny for her to say she's saying the same thing in, like, every way. It's like. It's like a rhyme, not rhyming. Dictionary. A thesaurus for, like, the feeling of disgust. So fucking gross. I saw it happen.

[Aaron Keenan]

Oh, no.

[Adol Refy]

Are there any other jobs where if you're in the middle of the job, you can just go, oh, my wife sent me a text. The dog threw up. And then just kind of riff on.

[Aaron Keenan]

That for five minutes. Are you doing that? Jbc, I want you to pick. I want to see a scene, but you get to pick the job that you've decided to say that your wife texted you the dog threw up. And it's a different, very different job.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Than that, I think. You guys have not worked at a real job in far too long, but literally every job I've ever had, yes, you would be able to do this.

[Aaron Keenan]

All right, I want to see a scene. Pick the one place that maybe it's not a good idea.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Okay.

And as you can see, my client suffered multiple stab wounds. And I know that for the jury, this is going to be hard to see, but I want to draw your attention to exhibit C. Your honor, objection.

[Adol Refy]

Showing evidence.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Hold on, hold on. Your honor, my. My wife just texted me. Oh, apparently the dog yacked at home. Oh, boy.

[Aaron Keenan]

Wait, why is the picture up instead of the evidence? Why are you showing up?

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

It's connected. I'm streaming from my phone. So my. Since my wife sent the picture of. So it's going.

[Aaron Keenan]

Ah.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Guilty.

[Aaron Keenan]

Guilty. Jury says guilty. We want this to be over and done with.

[Adol Refy]

What's her name?

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

That's good for me, right? The victim or my wife or my dog, but both of you to assume it's a her scene. Mistrial.

[Aaron Keenan]

Mistrial.

[Adol Refy]

That's her name?

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Yeah.

[Aaron Keenan]

Oh, brother.

[Adol Refy]

Oh, brother. Here, let's get into some riddles. I get smaller every time I take a bath. What am I?

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Towel.

[Aaron Keenan]

Something that shrinks every time it gets.

[Adol Refy]

Wet every time I take a bath.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Penis. Genitals. Genitals. Gen. Genitalia. A penis.

[Aaron Keenan]

A peni.

[Adol Refy]

A penis. I get smaller every time I take a bath.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Every time. And it gets smaller and smaller each time a bath is taken. A bath.

[Aaron Keenan]

A bar of soap.

[Adol Refy]

It is a bar of siop.

[Aaron Keenan]

Bath bomb works.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

People are using soap every time they take a bath.

[Adol Refy]

Mm.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

I'll be honest. I've never used a bar of soap in the bath, but for me.

[Aaron Keenan]

What?

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

A bath? Well, yeah. A bath is not, like, about, like, cleaning. Like, I clean in the shower. To me, a bath is about relaxing.

[Aaron Keenan]

Sure, but you're not doing soap stuff. You're not, like, washing your hair when you take a bath.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Washing my hair while I take a bath? No, but here's the thing, Aaron. I take a bath, and I have tons of soap in there, but it'll be, like, bath salts or, like, bubble soap and, like, that kind of thing. But that's not anything. What's that?

[Aaron Keenan]

Don't you need to wipe down with soap after you take your bath?

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Yeah, I go take a shower after your bath. Yeah.

[Aaron Keenan]

Okay.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

When I take a bath, I'm, like, sweating in there. It's like I. I need to, like, cool down and then take a shower and, like, actually clean myself. Because to me, a bath is, like, not a. Not a clean thing. You're, like, soaking in all of your juices. Like, it's.

[Adol Refy]

You're sous videing yourself.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Yeah, exactly. You're, like, making a JP soup, you know, in there. JP Soup. You gotta be cleaning yourself.

[Aaron Keenan]

Oh, I wish I could say awesome stuff like JP Soup.

[Adol Refy]

Jpc. Do you mind listing the ingredients for in case anybody at home wants to make their own JP Soup?

[Aaron Keenan]

Oh, that's.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Yeah. Let's see. Chop, come.

Teaspoon.

[Adol Refy]

Yes, it was a bar of soap. Gets smaller every time you take a bath.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Cousin Mirepoix.

[Adol Refy]

Do you guys remember the commercials? I think it was Irish Spring where somebody's holding a bar of soap and they take a knife and cut through it.

[Aaron Keenan]

Oh, yeah, man.

[Adol Refy]

I didn't remember that.

[Aaron Keenan]

I didn't remember that until you said it, though.

[Adol Refy]

It really gave me a weird romanticizing of whittling soap, where sometimes I'd see a bar of soap and just want to cut into it.

[Aaron Keenan]

Well, now, that's like an ASMR thing on the Internet is you can watch people carving, like, crystal soap.

[Adol Refy]

Wow.

[Aaron Keenan]

I'm gonna send you some links. Don't click them. They're gonna ruin your computer.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

But are there, like, ASMR things on the Internet that you use or that. That work for you?

[Aaron Keenan]

Oh, baby, yeah. Oh, big time. Yes. I'm A huge ASMR fan. My sister Kathleen was really ahead of the game. Like, she was watching stuff when YouTube came out. She's like, there's videos of people sort of like, pretending to brush your hair. And I was like, okay, crazy. And then I watched it, and I.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Love pretending to brush your hair.

[Aaron Keenan]

Yeah. They're like, hi, do you have a second? This is my impression. Yes. The ASMR watching it.

[Adol Refy]

And, Aaron, you just brought back the listeners with what you're about to do. People are. The Internet is going nuts.

[Aaron Keenan]

They're turning it off because they're like too many mouth sounds. Okay. Hi. Do you have a second? I would love to just brush your hair and braid it. Would that be okay? Awesome. Wow, your hair is so pretty. Do you. Do you. Are you having fun in this English class that we're in? Did you do the homework last night?

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Oh, no.

[Adol Refy]

Okay. I want to do that.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Yeah, me neither. Wait, it got so specific. It got so specific. Shouldn't it be. Is the ASMR immersing you in a world where now you're in an English class?

[Aaron Keenan]

Yeah. They'll immerse you in any world. It would be like, hey, I'm your mermaid sister. Can I do your makeup? Are you.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Am I having.

[Aaron Keenan]

Do we have a different Internet? You know what I'm talking about, where they're like, hi, I'm a mermaid. Do you want me to sort of touch your face?

[Adol Refy]

Aaron, I'd like to try one out.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Yeah, please.

[Aaron Keenan]

Okay. All right.

[Adol Refy]

Oh, hey, don't move. Oh, real quick. Oh, let me brush your hair. Don't move. Okay, I got it. I got it. Didn't want to freak you out. There's a big spider in there.

[Aaron Keenan]

Oh.

[Adol Refy]

It laid eggs. One second.

[Aaron Keenan]

Adel, you're bad at this. Adol, you're bad at this.

[Adol Refy]

Okay. One went in your ear. It's okay.

[Aaron Keenan]

Adol, this is not relaxing.

[Adol Refy]

I'm going to grab it. Adel, be as still as possible. I'm going to grab the spider out of your ear in English glasses.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

I think, Aaron, I think I got it. And I think.

[Adol Refy]

Okay.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Okay, so. And you were saying what Adol was doing was not.

[Aaron Keenan]

Yeah, because it's not relaxed. No one wants spiders in their gutters.

[Adol Refy]

I wanted a storm, I guess.

[Aaron Keenan]

Right, right.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Okay. Okay.

[Adol Refy]

Okay.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

I'll give him.

[Adol Refy]

Yeah.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Hey, it's me. I'm your mermaid sister.

[Aaron Keenan]

There you go.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

I'm just gonna comb your hair while I talk about the history of our people. 1,000 years ago, King Murgan the Great fought in an Ancient battle over the seven mermaid spears that were a collection from Diazag, the dragon lord of all mermaids from which our people spawn. The fishes that happen on our tails are actually the eyes of an ancient God. The winner's right were shattered by. Hold on. You've got a spider egg in your ear. Let me get the spider egg.

[Adol Refy]

Bail, bail, bail, bail, bail, bail, bail, bail, bail, bail.

[Aaron Keenan]

Okay, new JBC guided meditation. Mermaid ASMR Dropping sometime early next year. Make it happen, boys.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

I think I'm so fascinated by that. But the mermaid sister. Asmr. I would love it if they're just brushing your hair. It's a 15 minute video. They're brushing your hair the whole time in that minute. Like 14, you know, 1450. They're like, by the way, we're mermaid sisters. And then that's. It's just at the very end, they throw in some extra information or just.

[Aaron Keenan]

Make it so stressful like real sisters that you're like, I love your hair. Is that my shirt? I haven't even worn it yet. It still had the tag on it. Christine. I bought it for an event.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Mama.

Coding someone's hair. Asmr. How am I even supposed to comb this rat's nest of hair? Have you. Have you ever washed your hair? It's all split ends. How is it split ends on both ends?

[Adol Refy]

Mom likes me more.

[Aaron Keenan]

You look like you'll never be a mermaid.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Our hair is literally in the water all day. How is your hair so fucking coarse?

[Aaron Keenan]

You guys? Gbc. I'm serious. Come on. That's what I want for my birthday is I want mermaid asmr.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

I never. I've never been big on ASMR on Internet videos. But the other day, this is. But I may even talk about this on another episode. But we. I was doing something that involved me researching how to do like a function on spreadsheets on Google sheets. And I was watching someone's Google Sheet video and just kind of like listening to it as I was fucking around on Google Sheets. And after I got the thing that I wanted out of it, I continued and let the rest of like the 15 minute video play because I was like, their voice is so pleasant. I'm no longer listening to the instructions that they're doing on how to build a Google sheet. But they have such a pleasant voice.

[Aaron Keenan]

Jpc. You do like asmr. You just like, like super nerdy people getting their life together. Asmr.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Spreadsheet. Asmr.

[Aaron Keenan]

Here's how you balance a checkbook and be.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Yeah, so if you just copy cell C7 through H8 and then go to the function command and type in function parenthesis exclamation point.

[Adol Refy]

If your carburetor is making a clicking sound, get out of the car.

[Aaron Keenan]

Dad. Asmr.

[Adol Refy]

Dad. Asmr.

[Aaron Keenan]

Dad. Asmr.

[Adol Refy]

Now we're going to grill today and smoke a full turkey, get our gas going.

[Aaron Keenan]

Now we're going to go of a little bit of a rage meltdown inside of a Home Depot because we bought the wrong malt and they won't let us return it.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Dad. Asmr. Okay, here's my dad. Asmr.

[Aaron Keenan]

Okay, I'm ready.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Okay, now you're gonna want to tell your wife that you forgot bread. So you have to go to the grocery store to get bread. You're gonna walk out of the back door, go to the car, open the garage door, shut the garage door, but then sneak back around through the back gate, go down the back steps and go to the basement bathroom. Now you're gonna have 40 minutes to take a shit, however you want to do it. Take your time, read a book, hum a tune. She's never going to come down here, cuz the. Because the washing machine is on. So you know you have 38 minutes before anybody bothers you. You don't even have to get bread.

[Adol Refy]

Take a however you want.

[Aaron Keenan]

Nothing like the sounds of weaponized incompetence to soothe you to sleep.

[Adol Refy]

Here's. Here's my dad.

[Aaron Keenan]

I'm ready.

[Adol Refy]

The goddamn Blue Jays need to get their shit together. Bichette was out for too many games. Vlad Guerrero lost his power hitting right when the series started. Kirk was a great pickup at catcher, but with the Dodgers salary cap being able to afford basically any player they want, it's not even a fair game anymore. Stop pitching to Ohtani. Just walk him. We'll deal with Mookie Betts when we get to him.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Hey, Adel, I have a question for you.

[Aaron Keenan]

Damn it all to hell. Who left the lights on? Who keeps leading, leaving these lights on?

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Neighborhood electric company. Did someone buy stock in the electric.

[Aaron Keenan]

Are we heating the goddamn neighborhood?

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Were you raised in a barn?

[Adol Refy]

Did your mom tell you that? Did your mom at all?

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

I have a question for you. You're a baseball guy. I've looked into none of this, but I was shocked this year because on a previous episode, I had asked you if the Dodgers were just the best and you were like, yeah, they're the best. But then I saw that the World Series went to game seven against the Blue Jays, which is A team that's not even from America.

[Aaron Keenan]

I believe that's my conspiracy theory though.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

How did that happen?

[Aaron Keenan]

JPC is that they want to make more money, so they try to make it go as many games as possible. It's a conspiracy.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Can I blame. It has to be right.

[Adol Refy]

Every year for the World Series, they need two teams.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Yeah.

[Adol Refy]

So while the Dodgers are the best team, they had to play against someone.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

There has to be someone.

[Aaron Keenan]

I want a baseball team to be so good that they're the only ones that make it to the end. And it's just them sort of standing on the field and people being like, woo, woo. You did it.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Yeah. Your baseball team, it won so many of those. Like those games where they play like one game in Germany every year just as a what's the fuck? But they won so many of those that now they are going up against themselves in the World Series.

[Adol Refy]

I love the term just as a what's the fuck?

I think the real answer, as far as I know, and I'm more of a basketball guy than a. Than a baseball guy, but I think with baseball it's hard to be. If you're a star in baseball, it's hard to be like consistently incredible, except for your Ohtani's, your Aaron Judges. But I think sometimes batters just like disappear for like three or four games. And a lot of that has to do with like the math of pitching, like right hand versus left hand or what type of pitch they throw at you. So it's a lot of math where it's like in basketball, Giannis Antetokounmpo can put up 47 against any team at any time he wants. But in baseball, I think it's a lot more. It's a slower game that involves a lot of math.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

The thing that I. The only thing that I know about sports nowadays is that sports betting is such a big thing now that the players are sports betting on themselves for weird bets and getting caught doing it. I mean, if I was playing sports, I would be betting for sure. I would be doing that shit every fucking game. I mean, it's like, it's right there for you.

[Adol Refy]

Well, to me it's insane of like Ohtani kind of got caught betting. He threw his translator under the bus and everything's fine now. But it is like you're getting paid like 500 billion over eight years. What do you need? Whatever you're betting. What are we doing? Like you don't want. It's not for the money though.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

It's the thrill on the thrill. Right? Like, it's. You know, because the betting is the. It's an addiction, right? And it's not like you're, like, not. You're not betting to, like, make money. You're betting to, like.

[Aaron Keenan]

It's not an addiction. If I'm smart enough to hack it. Jpc.

[Adol Refy]

Yes. What if we start betting on each episode, whether or not we'll get the riddles?

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

What if we did betting on over and under? How many riddles? There would be an episode. Because the over and under would be, like, under three. 100% guaranteed. It's gonna be under three.

[Aaron Keenan]

It's okay. We have a back catalog of so many riddle episodes. People get mad when we do too many riddles. An episode. We're all okay. We're just trying to have fun. Everybody.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

I'm gonna go on Fanduel and see if I can set up some. Hey, riddle.

[Adol Refy]

Riddle.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Prot. Bets that we can.

[Aaron Keenan]

How many times is Aaron gonna say or ah or okay?

[Adol Refy]

How many lip smacks or tongue clicks is ADOL gonna do? A train pulls into a station, but none of the waiting passengers move. Why?

[Aaron Keenan]

Because they're all mannequins.

[Adol Refy]

Aaron, you're not.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

I was going to say model train.

[Adol Refy]

You got it. It's a model train set. I do want to see a scene.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

I love model trains. I love model trains. They're so fun.

[Adol Refy]

Do you really?

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

I do. We went to a restaurant recently that had a model train that, like, ran through the restaurant. And by the way, big hit with the kid. Kids love that shit.

[Aaron Keenan]

Oh, cool.

[Adol Refy]

Is it one of those that delivers the food?

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

It doesn't deliver the food. It just is a train that goes through the restaurant, but every kid in that restauran was just up out of their chairs, walking the restaurant, looking at the train, and we were like, yeah, you just let it happen. Like, no kid here is gonna eat any food today. They're all just gonna be focused on the train. And then they're gonna be cranky on the way home because they didn't have any food in their belly.

[Adol Refy]

And next time they're hungry and they wanna go somewhere to eat, they're just gonna say, train.

[Aaron Keenan]

Yeah, gpc. How likely are you to be a guy that has model trains running through his basement?

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

I would say incredibly unlikely. Cause I don't have stuff. Like, I actively am always. I did this thing this weekend where I opened up all the drawers in my kitchen and took everything out of the drawers and then got rid of the stuff that I'm like, what is This. I never use this to make more space for things. So there's a zero chance that I'm going to be like, let's have a model train running through here that I have to store for seven months of the year.

[Adol Refy]

If I bought you a little conductor's hat, would you wear that?

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Of course.

[Adol Refy]

I do. Want to see a scene?

Aaron, you're like a younger kid, we'll say, at a restaurant with one of these little trains that JPC is talking about. Jpc. You are a tiny, tiny, little conductor who's in that little, tiny train. And you've stopped the train to talk to the kid.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

To talk to the kid.

[Adol Refy]

To talk to Aaron. Yep.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Gotcha.

[Aaron Keenan]

Whoa. The train has enough momentum to go uphill. So sick.

[Adol Refy]

Sweetie, finish your meal. Ah.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Oh. Don't like your meal? Is that what I'm seeing?

[Aaron Keenan]

Wait, who said that? Where's that?

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Whoa. Down here. It's the conductor of the train. Wow.

[Aaron Keenan]

Sir, I love your little train.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

What's going on with the meal?

[Aaron Keenan]

My mom made me order broccoli on the side instead of French fries.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Well, yeah, but there's still mashed potatoes on the plate.

[Aaron Keenan]

Yeah, but they're not salty and crispy like French fries.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Add a little salt.

[Aaron Keenan]

She says I'm too picky of an eater, but you totally get it, right? I don't need to have mashed potatoes. I'm gonna be big and strong no.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Matter what, you know, what they feed us back in the hole that the train goes through. Oh, gruel. Have you ever had gruel?

[Aaron Keenan]

What the.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

If you ate gruel like I did, smile, smile, smile, smile. Way to dropping off some waters.

[Adol Refy]

Here you go. Just top you off. Everything okay?

[Aaron Keenan]

Yeah, it's delicious.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Kids, don't answer that question. You're acting weird. Kids don't say, yeah, it's delicious, honey.

[Adol Refy]

That's weird. Are you feeling okay? Let me feel the back of your.

[Aaron Keenan]

Yeah, I'm okay. It's just all this broccoli's kind of hurting my tummy. I'm just gonna lean over here for a second.

[Adol Refy]

Sure.

[Aaron Keenan]

You work at a restaurant. Why do you. Why aren't you just eating?

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

I work at a little train. Why don't you shut that mouth of yours and if you're not gonna eat that broccoli, put a little on the train.

[Aaron Keenan]

My mom's gonna yell at me if I put. She wants me to eat the broccoli.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Sneak it, dumbass. Don't make it obvious. Put broccoli with a little mashed potatoes and, hell, some gravy. If you could spare it on the train. I got mouths to feed. There he is.

[Adol Refy]

That's the man who stole my train.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Oh, boy. This.

[Aaron Keenan]

You thief.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

They got us cooking pancakes in the back and we can't even sniff the.

[Aaron Keenan]

Fight, Fight, Fight.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Rip his arms off. Rip his head off. Blood spouts everywhere.

[Aaron Keenan]

Real human anatomy.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

This little girl wanted this. Give me those mashed potatoes. Help. I'll kill everyone at this restaurant.

[Aaron Keenan]

My tiny husband, local act. Applebee's closed again after a bloodbath happened. This weekend. We're gonna go to jbc live on the scene. Jbc.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

I love that it's an Applebee's that just runs. Just decided to run model train. They need to drum up the business.

[Adol Refy]

Yeah, why don't we drum up some listener voicemails?

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Oh, okay.

[Adol Refy]

Casey, you hit us with a theme.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

This fall.

Hey, Riddle, Riddle. Riddle is live.

Travel across the Riddleverse as Aaron goes on a road trip. JPC takes the train. And Adol is late because he flew. Standby tickets on sale now@heyriddle riddle.com live.

[Adol Refy]

Whoa. How did they know you are doing a scene about a train?

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Wow. I guess I talk about trains way too much. Maybe I will have to have model trains in my basement.

[Aaron Keenan]

This is a wake up call. That was sick.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

I love that voicemail theme because it said it was topical and I saw it, but it was after we had already done our tour. But I was still like, we should still play it. But if you go to our Patreon. Patreon.com heywoodlevrittle. You can get the audio from our tour we're selling. We already have the first half up for sale. Maybe by the time this comes out, we'll have the second half of our tour up for sale as well, so you can listen to those live episodes.

[Adol Refy]

Very cool.

[Aaron Keenan]

Fun.

[Adol Refy]

And that theme was by Joseph. Joseph. Thank you so much. That was fantastic. Let's hear that voicemail. Kasey.

[Aaron Keenan]

Hi, Clifford, this is Katie. First time? Nope. I have called multiple times. I was drunk. I'm so sorry for the drunk dialing jpc.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Very, very sorry.

[Aaron Keenan]

Anyway, I am listening to backlogs of the Hagrid Riddle Patreon and I was just wondering. I just got three chickens and I'm wondering what you think I should name them. Their personalities are. One's kind of stupid, one's kind of troublemaker, and one is kind of bossy. All right, well, thank you. Okay. Are we the chickens?

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

No name all JPC.

Stupid, bossy and troublemaker. Right? That's three JPCs. Your dumbass bought three JPC chickens.

[Aaron Keenan]

That's your sun, moon and rising.

First of all, I just want to say, definitely, keep drunk calling us. I think that we're going to save lives here. Don't drunk call your exes. Don't drunk call your family and get into a fight with them. If you have the impulse to drunk call someone, call. Leave us voicemail. No judgment from us. Say whatever you gotta say. But to us, I wonder what the.

[Adol Refy]

Sensation, the feeling is to wake up, hug over, and be like, oh, no, did I call a podcast? Like, that must be a interesting feeling.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

My favorite thing about the people that call us when they're drunk is no drunk person has ever kept it to under 30 seconds. So I have, like, the visual voicemail. So sometimes we'll get voicemails. It'll be two minutes, and I'll be like that. I'm not even gonna attempt to listen to. That's a delete. That's just an instant delete.

[Aaron Keenan]

I have a pitch for the chicken names.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Okay.

[Aaron Keenan]

Salt, lime, and Tequila.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Ooh, wow. Okay.

[Aaron Keenan]

And name the dumb one Tequila. So you can be like, tequila. Stop it.

[Adol Refy]

I like that a lot. Oh, I like that a lot. This is tough because I don't know if you're. I assume they're keeping the chickens as sex chickens. Sex chickens.

[Aaron Keenan]

I don't know what that means versus.

[Adol Refy]

If you're gonna use them for meat or anything like that, because then you don't. You don't want to name a. You know, you don't want to name a duck, Greg, if you're gonna eat it, if that makes sense.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

So wouldn't they. If they're using them for eggs, though, would you say hen, or would you still say chicken?

Maybe these are chickens to be raised for slaughter. We don't know.

[Aaron Keenan]

I doubt we'd be. We wouldn't be naming them.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

I think people. People eat chickens. That's. That's a good point. Do you name the chickens that you eat?

[Aaron Keenan]

Hmm.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

And is there some. Is there some respect in there to be like, I will treat you like a. I'll treat you the proper way before, you know, you are to be my lunch.

[Aaron Keenan]

You can name one of the chickens, Aaron. I don't want to speak for the other guys, but. But if you want, I'll allow it.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

You cannot name one jpc unless you name them all. Jpc. That's what I will say.

[Adol Refy]

I think I like the idea of going sort of the opposite direction as what you think you should name a chicken. So I'm going to say Winifred.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Oh.

[Adol Refy]

Bernard.

[Aaron Keenan]

Okay.

[Adol Refy]

And Chauncey.

[Aaron Keenan]

Chauncey.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

John C. Yeah. That's troublemaker.

[Aaron Keenan]

Troublemaker.

[Adol Refy]

Troublemaker for sure. Chauncey always has a knife or something.

[Aaron Keenan]

Yeah.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

I have a question for the two of you.

[Aaron Keenan]

Yes.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

If you were a chicken and you were being raised for your meat, what is the most embarrassing thing that your meat could become?

[Adol Refy]

Like nuggets?

[Aaron Keenan]

Yeah, frozen nuggets.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

But yeah, frozen nuggets. Not even like McDonald's nuggets, are they.

[Adol Refy]

Ultimate humiliation for chickens.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

I think the bigger humiliation is if it's one of those nuggets that's shaped like something, like a dino nugget.

[Adol Refy]

You're like, come on, man, it's Ivan shaped like me.

[Aaron Keenan]

Yeah, dude. I actually. I would rather be a nugget. If I was a chicken, my nightmare would be being a part of like a fitness guy's meal prep. Like, I'm not being seasoned, I'm just.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Motherfucker. Tell me I'm not in a plastic Tupperware with some white rice and steamed broccoli right now. Tell me, motherfucker.

[Aaron Keenan]

Motherfucker. Look me in the eye and tell me I am not.

[Adol Refy]

I died for this. Jpc, any thoughts on names for the chickens or. You said JPC for all three.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Yeah, I gotta stick to my guns. I gotta say JPC for all three.

[Aaron Keenan]

What about J, P and C?

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

That also works. That also works.

[Aaron Keenan]

Cause then the stupid one's named P. Oh, and that's fine. What like P, like he's piss.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Oh, so my name is like piss. Aaron. And that's why.

[Aaron Keenan]

Anything to plug?

[Adol Refy]

No.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Oh, send us more voicemail themes. 30 seconds or less. And send us more voicemails. 30 seconds or less. All the contact information is in the episode description.

[Adol Refy]

Thank you, Katie.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

I'll also plug our Patreon. I'll also plug our other show, Gumshoes and Dragons, which also has a Patreon. This month, especially on our Patreon, a little later in the month, we will be doing our year end sound out of context clips bracket, which is. I don't care if other people like it. It's my favorite thing to do. I've been prepping a lot for it. Casey's been helping a ton on this year's and God, it's so fun. So I can't really show.

[Aaron Keenan]

I'm literally so nervous for it. I've been dreading it all year.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

And you should be. And Aaron, that's the correct response. You should be.

[Aaron Keenan]

I've been living in fear. You've ruined my life. I don't want anything to plug.

[Adol Refy]

Check out Holo from the Magic Tavern, another podcast I do and these two have guested on frequently. And also, I gotta say, yesterday I just saw Predator Badlands. Ooh.

Magic Tavern's earning kneecamp. And I went into it being like, I don't know much. I haven't seen many. I've only seen the first Predator, and that was forever ago. I don't know what this is. And I had a goddamn blast. That movie is the best parts of Dune, Avatar, Star Wars, Alien all mixed up into a little romp. Check out Predator Badlands, which might be streaming at this point. Aaron, anything to plug or promote.

[Aaron Keenan]

Yeah, this Christmas I'm buying all my gifts secondhand and I have a link in my Instagram bio or you can find it on our newsletter where I'm listing all of the Christmas decorations and gifts that I'm getting people that are not going to be giving my money to any big companies.

[Adol Refy]

Nice.

[Aaron Keenan]

So if you want to join me in that, that's what I'm doing this Christmas. I'm also hunting JPC for sport this Christmas and it's sport to myself and.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

It'S sport for me too. I get a good exercise. I'll also say, listen to our editor Casey Toney's other podcast, Gutter. You can get that wherever you find podcasts.

[Aaron Keenan]

Ooh, fun.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Aaron, I know that you're not trying to give money to any big corporations, but there is a certain. And it's quite big. It's not really a corporation, but it's definitely an established thing that you're giving money to this year. And what exactly is it?

[Aaron Keenan]

The planet Jupiter.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Can you believe it? I can't. Created by Adol Refy, starring Aaron Keenan and John Patrick Cohen. Casey Tony did the editing. Emory Parent did the music.

Logo created by Emily Cardamus and Emily Naporus.

Hey there Halls and Marks. If you like that, you're gonna love this week's Patreon. We're improvising Hallmark Christmas movies. You can listen to that plus our entire back [e-mail] HeyRiddleriddle by joining the clue crew for $5 a month or start your 7 day free trial or the review crew for $8 a month. Plus you get those ad free episodes. See you there.

[Aaron Keenan]

That was a Headgum podcast.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Hi, I'm Nicole Byer. Hi, I'm Sasheer Zamada and this is the podcast Best Friends.

[Aaron Keenan]

And we're here at Headgum.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

So this is just a podcast where we just talk. Yeah, we're best friends. Yeah, we talk.

[Adol Refy]

And then we have a segment where.

[Aaron Keenan]

We answer questions and queries so audience members can ask questions about friendships, and we can answer them to the best of our abilities.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

Yes, we are professional friends. We are professional friends. Subscribe to Best Friends on Spotify, Apple.

[Adol Refy]

Podcasts, Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Aaron Keenan]

And watch videos on YouTube.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

New episodes drop every Wednesday. That's the middle of a work week.

I was deeply unhelpful to you during that whole thing. You were? I'm really sorry. I was so. Okay. I was trying to be supportive.

[Adol Refy]

Yeah. But I was like, I don't know. Reading seems pretty hard right now.

[Aaron Keenan]

It's a lot.

[John Patrick Cohen (JPC)]

I think. You did good.

[Adol Refy]

Thank you so much.

[Aaron Keenan]

You're welcome.