Transcript

Aaron Keenan (0:01)

This is a headgum podcast.

John Patrick Cohen (JPC) (0:05)

I just noticed that the payout for this Uncommon goods ad is $90.

John Patrick Cohen (JPC) (0:11)

Hardly seems worth it.

Adol Refy (0:12)

What the hell?

Aaron Keenan (0:16)

I got something for this. Last one, please.

Aaron Keenan (0:20)

Wee oo. Wee ooh. Wee oo. Holiday emergency. I forgot to get everyone gifts.

Adol Refy (0:26)

So, Aaron, here's what I prescribe. Take 10ccs of going to uncommongoods.com Ooh, wait.

John Patrick Cohen (JPC) (0:34)

Adol do. What's the protocol here? Do I pull over for a holiday emergency? I can't remember if it's wee ew.

Aaron Keenan (0:40)

Wee ew.

John Patrick Cohen (JPC) (0:40)

That doesn't sound like a real siren.

Adol Refy (0:42)

I guess we should slow down at least so they can pull up alongside of us.

Aaron Keenan (0:45)

Or Uncommon Goods has something for everyone. From moms and dads, kids and teens, from book lovers and sports fans, to foodies, mixologists, and gardeners, you'll find unforgettable gifts that. That are anything but ordinary.

Adol Refy (0:57)

For sure. Watch the road, please.

Aaron Keenan (0:59)

Of course, yes.

Adol Refy (1:00)

We also know that when you shop at Uncommon Goods, you're supporting artists and small independent businesses. Every purchase is a chance to choose something remarkable and feel good about where your money goes. Right?

John Patrick Cohen (JPC) (1:10)

Right.

Adol Refy (1:10)

Jpc. Yeah.

John Patrick Cohen (JPC) (1:11)

And with every purchase you make at Uncommon Goods, they give back $1 to a nonprofit partner of your choice. They've donated more than $3.1 million to date. I love searching on Uncommon Goods when I have, like, the vibe of what I want to get for someone, but I don't have, like, a specific thing because I get so much inspiration that, you know, kind of pop up and you're like, oh, this would be perfect for this person.

Summary

Podcast Summary: Hey Riddle Riddle #386: Dad ASMR (Dec 10, 2025)

Episode Overview

In this characteristically chaotic and hilarious episode of Hey Riddle Riddle, hosts Adal Rifai, Erin Keif, and John Patrick Coan (JPC) discuss birthdays, the merits and irritations of riddles, ASMR obsessions, and the quirks of dad behavior. Despite the podcast's riddle-based premise, the team leans heavily into banter, improv scenes, and tangential discussions, using riddles as comedic jumping-off points rather than the main course. The result is an episode that’s as much about the hosts’ personalities and shared history as it is about puzzle-solving.

Major Discussion Points & Key Moments

1. Birthday Antics and Cake Shenanigans

[03:32] Birthday Cake Bit: The episode starts with a scene about delivering (and potentially suffocating in) a comically large birthday cake. It quickly devolves into confusion about whose birthday it actually is and a running joke involving John C. Reilly.
- Quote: "Aaron, could you be happy for me for once?" – JPC [04:30]
- Tone: Goofy, playful rivalry.

2. Aging, Homeownership, and Snow Shoveling

[05:13-10:30] The hosts muse about growing older, shoveling snow in Chicago, and the various contraptions (electric shovels, snow blowers) they've begrudgingly acquired or coveted.
- JPC describes accidentally shoveling snow onto his neighbor's property.
- Erin’s pointed out that soon she may need their elder Midwestern advice – foreshadowing her own winter woes.
- Quote: "You are a member of the community." – Erin [07:33]
- Quote: "If you make it to Maine, you’re gonna be begging us for this knowledge." – JPC [09:43]

3. Is It Time To Drop the Riddles?

[14:02] Erin semi-seriously proposes they “Spartacus” the Old Man Puzzles segment so no one has to do the riddles.
Candid meta-discussion about whether the show should keep its riddle focus or fully embrace improv and ridiculousness.
- JPC admits they've been “angling” toward less riddle content: "The last couple of episodes you’ve been kind of angling for dropping the riddles thing." [14:12]
New Podcast Names: Proposals include "Stuck in the Riddle with You" and "[groaning noises]".
- Quote: "If they cared, they’d find a way back." – Erin [16:06]
Consensus: Keep riddles a few more years, then maybe a full pivot.

4. One-Star Reviews, Community, and Format Changes

[17:16] They discuss podcast ratings, their swelling audience, and the amusing freaks who leave one-star reviews.
Talks about borrowing "Threedom’s" model: 50 minutes of banter, 10 minutes of riddles.
Extended riffing on the show’s identity, their own ambivalence about the riddles themselves, and the importance of listener loyalty.

5. Dunkaroos, Candy, and Childhood Treats

[20:36] Conversation wanders to Dunkaroos nostalgia, DIY ice cream experiments, and ideal candy mix-ins—drawing on strong food opinions.
- Erin makes "Dunkaroos ice cream" in a Ninja Creamy.
- Adal reminisces about the lost Dairy Queen Nerds Blizzard.
- Quote: “My mommy’s advice is never mix your mammals.” – Adal [22:40]
- JPC: “I wish this [Heath bar] wasn’t involved in the cookie.” [25:28]

6. ASMR—Dad Style and Beyond

[52:04] The "Dad ASMR" theme steers discussion toward internet relaxation videos:
- Erin demonstrates “pretend to brush your hair” ASMR.
- Adal’s botched attempt: "Okay, don’t move...there's a big spider in there" [53:31].
- Rapid-fire improv: mermaid sister ASMR; dad reframing of the genre (“weaponized incompetence”).
- Quote: “Now you're gonna have 40 minutes to take a shit however you want to do it.” – JPC’s Dad ASMR [57:31]
- Quote: "Nothing like the sounds of weaponized incompetence to soothe you to sleep." – Erin [58:09]

7. Improv Scenes: Snowblowers, Twister, and Tiny Restaurant Conductors

[11:04+] Several improvised scenes riffing off the random topics or riddle answers:
- Neighbors passively-aggressively snowblowing onto each other’s property [11:09].
- Family vacation gone wrong playing Twister with grandpa [36:46].
- Applebee’s model train conductor fights a child to the death in a riotous, absurd sequence [63:50].

8. Riddles—When They Actually Happen

[28:28, 49:28, 54:28, 62:14, etc.] Several classic and lateral thinking riddles are peppered in, usually serving as springboards for jokes or groans:
- Superman riddle (volunteer with uniform = superhero) [28:12].
- “I get smaller every time I take a bath” (answer: soap), which devolves into jokes about bath sous vide and “JPC soup” [49:28].
- "A train pulls into a station but none of the passengers move" (answer: it’s a model train) [62:14].

9. Listener Questions and Voicemails

[68:04] Katie calls asking what to name her three chickens—one dumb, one troublemaker, one bossy.
- Many naming options: "Salt, Lime, and Tequila" (Erin), "Winifred, Bernard, and Chauncey" (Adal), "JPC, JPC, JPC" (JPC).
- Philosophical riff: Is there existential humiliation for chickens destined for nuggets or meal-prep?

10. Plugs, Wrap-Up, and Signature Nonsense

[72:40+] The hosts promote live shows, Patreon content, other projects, and non-corporate holiday gifting.
- Characteristic last-minute derails: Jupiter donations, hunting JPC for sport.
- Closing riff: “Nothing to plug, just living in fear. You’ve ruined my life.” – Erin [73:20]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

“You are a member of the community.” – Erin [07:33]
“If you make it to Maine, you’re gonna…be begging us for this knowledge.” – JPC [09:43]
“We Spartacus it. Have we ever tried doing that?” – Erin, about Old Man Puzzles [14:02]
“If they cared, they’d find a way back.” – Erin, on losing listeners [16:06]
"My mommy’s advice is never mix your mammals.” – Adal, on mixing Dunkaroos and Teddy Grahams [22:40]
“Now you're gonna have 40 minutes to take a shit however you want.” – JPC, Dad ASMR [57:31]
“Weaponized incompetence to soothe you to sleep.” – Erin, Dad ASMR [58:09]
“My nightmare would be being a part of, like, a fitness guy's meal prep.” – Erin, on chicken fate [72:07]
"Nothing to plug, just living in fear. You’ve ruined my life." – Erin [73:20]

Important Segments & Timestamps

| Timestamp | Topic/Segment | |-----------|---------------| | 03:32 | Birthday cake improv, John C. Reilly jokes | | 05:13 | Snow shoveling, homeowner aging | | 14:02 | Old Man Puzzles “Spartacus” proposal | | 15:43 | Meta: Should they drop riddles? New show names | | 20:36 | Dunkaroos/ice cream mix-ins/candy tangent | | 28:12 | Superman riddle (first riddle of show) | | 36:46 | Family Twister scene (vacation meltdown) | | 49:28 | “Bar of soap” riddle, bath routines | | 52:04 | ASMR demonstration/humor | | 57:31 | Dad ASMR parody sequence | | 62:14 | Model train riddle and subsequent miniatures discussion | | 68:04 | Listener voicemail: chicken naming advice | | 72:40 | Plugs, closing insanity |

Tone, Style & Takeaways

Language & Tone: Entirely conversational, filled with friendly ribbing, sincere and absurd improv, and a strong sense of shared comedic shorthand. The hosts delight in each others’ digressions, and while riddles provide the structure, the heart of the show is in the digressions and friendship.
For Non-Listeners: This episode’s plotless, ADHD energy is typical—expect inside jokes, improv, riddle-based frustration, and creative chaos. If you want a podcast “about riddles,” this show is only nominally so; it’s far more about the journey, not the (riddle) destination.
Memorable Moments: The Dad ASMR routine, Dunkaroos nostalgia, and the “Twister with Grandpa” vacation meltdown are standout goofy highlights.

Closing Thoughts

Hey Riddle Riddle is, as ever, less about solving logic puzzles and more about riffing, character work, and justifying the existence of a podcast that no longer seems to have anything to do with its premise. “Dad ASMR” is a perfect example of the show embracing its own nonsense, delivering memorable improv and offbeat humor for its loyal listeners.